Mrs. Midwest 3: Feminine Racism

[quiversR4hunting]

1 hour ago, Petronella said:

Do you remember the book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus? A friend of mine (a woman) read it and said, “It’s good—except I’m from Mars.”

The message that people approaching a situation from different assumptions and valuing different things may need some understanding and translation is a good one; but rigidly pre-designating those assumptions and values by gender sucks.

Never read it but yes. I agree completely with you these pigeon holed descriptions drive me batty.

[FilleMondaine]

All these "conservative" people reading those books need to put those books down, and watch The Detectorists right now.* It's about a metal detecting club, and the best thing ever. In it, there is a retired commanding officer, and his blond, stay-at-home wife. (picture below!) Definitely a possible red-pill fantasy...EXCEPT! She comes to all of his metal detecting club meetings to serve tea, and he is always saying throwaway lines like, "Time to go to Shiela's tango lessons", and other wacky things. He says this all with a straight face because he supports her 100 percent, and she supports him 100 percent.  It's just wonderful.

*Actually, everyone in the world should watch The Detectorists. It's the sort of gentle humor we all need. And it sounds like MM needs better role models.

[kaluce]

Ooo new video ~ Gonna watch and react. Work isn't slow but I have pregnancy brain and I do what I want. 

10 Ways I Changed My Lifestyle For Emotional Peace. 

Spoiler

 

She starts off the video discussing criticism for her lifestyle yet again in her little intro clip, so you know snarkers are starting to get at her. If you didn't care- why would you mention it now in every video? 

#1- Detox from Social Media: 

She states she doesn't use personal social media. She has a facebook page I SEE YOU GIRL. She states she cut off social media for two months completely. We know this is not true- she liked tweets and pinned constantly. 

She states to "write in your journal after you have a social media session". Nahhhh I'm ok. 

#2- Get financially stable

Super great advice here for people during a pandemic. Absolutely disregards external factors which might make this not feasible right now. 

It's interesting that she mentions creating a budget, as many of her followers have asked her for a video on homemaking while budgeting/how they budget, etc etc and she has yet to go into any in-depth detail. We know they have property, so the money from that will probably ruin her "frugal lifestyle" aesthetic. 

#3 Working on your Flaws

This is turning into another one of her rehashed videos. How many times can she give the same advice, just packaged ever so slightly different. 

She gives the example that she was lazy so she worked on not being as lazy... Caitlin you do a load of laundry a day and then make bad pie. You're still lazy. Plenty of women work 40+ hours a week and do more chores than you do a day. You're lazy. 

Her other flaws are being bad at friendships and having communication problems with her husband. I do enjoy how transparent she is that this was a flaw and we know she JUST wrote about it. So this was a very recent issue she had and it's on the top of her mind. It's not like she plans content very far out in advance.... Idk why that makes me just so chuffed- maybe it's because she acts like she has this all figured out but then slips up and admits to being a passive aggressive woman with no friends. (I mean, same but I don't have a lifestyle blog so)

#4 Re-evaluating her relationships

She has an issue with the word toxic. She's recently cut out some people in her life, I'm assuming. I smellll drammmaaaaaaa here and I want more. 

#5 Dressing and decorating the way she wants to. 

How is this... news. She's made SO MANY VIDEOS ON THIS. It's her whole thing.

#6 Unplug from the world's expectations of you

"In the western world, there's a huge expectation on women to grow up to be doctors and ceos" I don't think that's common at all. Maybe more common is to go to college- like Caitlin ABSOLUTELY did, but I don't think it's common to push women into STEM at all. No sources here, just more tradfem bull.  

#7 Do daily regular maintenance of your body

"Diet, fitness, regular showers, etc" Was really expecting a boob reference here, ngl.

#8 Tone down the intensity in your life

I agree with this, tbh. Don't say yes to too many obligations, meetings, people, etc etc. I feel like this is the best advice she's given for the subject she's trying to actually talk about. 

#9 Connect with Nature

Again, I agree. Actual applicable, and related to "peace" advice here! Wow. Two in a row. She's evolving. 

#10 Soak in the Gratitude

A bit too close to toxic positivity for me here, tbh. But again, applicable advice. 

 

She stopped there, stating being out of breath. It's not a live stream, so I'm not sure... why she rushed through SO FAST as to make herself out of breath when she could have taken a break and then put the video together.. doesn't seem very PEACEFUL. 

But yeah. Mostly just absolutely rehashing her entire channel again. Nothing really new at all. 

 

 

[Petronella]

13 hours ago, kaluce said:

She states she doesn't use personal social media. She has a facebook page

I’m confused. Facebook IS social media.
 

13 hours ago, kaluce said:

"In the western world, there's a huge expectation on women to grow up to be doctors and ceos" I don't think that's common at all.

I thought she was going to say, “In the western world, there’s a huge expectation on women TO BE THIN, BEAUTIFUL IN A VERY SPECIFIC WAY, AND FEMININE.” Which there sure is a heck of a lot more of than CEO expectations. And to which pressure Mrs Midwest contributes.

I could see her feeling embarrassed about not living up to expectations others had about her or maybe she had about herself when she was in college, to excel at some work of some kind. It can indeed feel like you may be letting yourself or others down when you don’t take an opportunity or achieve a previously declared ambition. I remember choosing to be a stay-at-home parent and feeling very lucky that I could, but also being aware of what others were achieving and that I didn’t measure up. So IN A SENSE she’s answering a felt need that some women have, to feel reassured that homemaking is a valid, useful, and appreciated thing to do.

But her context is so exaggerated and just off. “Doctors and CEOs” is just so childish. Not even most men (the working people of her world) are doctors and CEOs. HER HUSBAND isn’t a doctor or CEO. So claiming that THE WHOLE WORLD is demanding that ALL WOMEN be doctors and CEOs is just ???

It’s a straw man she likes because it makes her lifestyle a skirmish in a dramatic culture war instead of a boring personal choice. Not boring because parenting is boring—though like all responsibilities it can be. But boring in that it’s personal and doesn’t really affect anyone else outside her family.

This claim of a culture war also gets her views, just like the invented “war on Christmas” that reemerges on local news channels in the US every year. Instead of just enjoying her peaceful life and sharing it positively, she’s deliberately shit-stirring.

And it sells. *sigh*
 

Edited September 10, 2020 by Petronella

[Petronella]

(By the way, I want to clarify regarding “I could see her feeling embarrassed”, above: I don’t mean that she, or anyone, should feel embarrassed to be a stay-at-home parent, or for not doing whatever job they said years ago they wanted to do, or for not fulfilling someone else’s idea of their potential. Just that I know—from experience!—that it’s very easy to feel embarrassed in that situation, even if you shouldn’t.)

[kaluce]

7 hours ago, Petronella said:

But her context is so exaggerated and just off. “Doctors and CEOs” is just so childish. Not even most men (the working people of her world) are doctors and CEOs. HER HUSBAND isn’t a doctor or CEO. So claiming that THE WHOLE WORLD is demanding that ALL WOMEN be doctors and CEOs is just ???

It honestly sounds like her, and other tradfems raging against this type of language are taking "Feminism and Boss Babe" instagram posts to heart. I hear more of "Go smash that glass ceiling and be the CEO" from frilly social media than I ever have from my parents, my teachers, my professors, etc. Same goes for dudes- it's mainly on social media you see "Be a baller"/"Here's a dumb quote over a picture of a guy with a suit". They can't separate social media from reality really. 

[Petronella]

21 minutes ago, kaluce said:

They can't separate social media from reality really. 

Yes. Her lack of real life friendships seems like a real problem. Interacting with people personally could maybe make a dent in some of her weird, skewed assumptions.

[AmericanRose]

So I guess MM is going to post Part 1's of a few blog posts...?

15 Elements to a Complete Homemaker's House (Pt 1)

"So this is where we are getting to the foundational items of running a home. I am NOT an expert, but I have been homemaking for almost three years now, tending to the craft on a daily basis and figuring out what works or our family and what doesn't."
I'm not so sure about that. I'm not a haus frau, and my cupboards and cabinets were way more organized than MM's before she organized them over the past week! Given that she's been home making for 3 years, I would have thought they would put my 'house keeping' to shame.

She gives us a heads up that she's adding affiliate links to the post.

Spoiler

Dust Buster
Apparently she didn't get one until nearly 2 years into her marriage. I don't have one... but I'm not married so that's okay!

Baskets
"Honestly, I don't think one can have too many baskets until you get to the point that you have a basket to organize your baskets."
She links to 5 baskets, and I don't have any of those. I have organizers for drawers and a wheeled cart for my cat supplies. Baskets just tend to trap dust and cat fur, in my experience.

Rags
"This modern obsession with paper towels is SO disturbing to me. I keep one roll of paper towels in my house and it is for the sole purpose of drying the bacon before I put it on my husband's breakfast burritos LOL."
Bacon is for men! Anyway, I should get some microfiber towels. Good advice!

Surface-Appropriate Cleaners
My bad I just have multi-surface cleaner... of course, I also don't have real wood or natural stone in my apartment, soooo.

Drawer Dividers 
"If I come to your home and your silverware is in one single pile in your drawer, I MAY have a minor heart attack sight-on-scene. I completely understand cutting costs and saving money, but if we're discussing a truly functional and thriving home, we're going to need to implement utensil organizers in drawers. It makes finding what you need SO much easier and in general, cuts down on clutter. Bonus points as well for implementing regular drawer dividers as well. I have one separating my regular bras from my sport/sleep bras, and one in my dining room buffet drawer separating my napkin rings from my cloth napkins."
Having a quiet giggle that she still managed to slip in mention of bras! Also, what are sleep bras?
I have organizers for my silverware and "underthings", because for some reason organising gives me a deep sense of satisfaction, but damn this one is judgy.

Dinner Servingware 
"Now this will be different based on the type of hosting you like to do, but I encourage you to have a full set of dinner serving ware, as well as selected pieces that would work for a cocktail hour, serving tea/coffee, or hosting a dessert hour. Have a nice cheese board for serving charcuterie, pick up some pretty bowls from the thrift store in various sizes to serve side dishes or party mixes, and always always always have a large plain platter dish to hold the main course. The good news is that there are a TON of these kinds of items at any Goodwill you wander into. Everyone in the world is getting so casual these days that they are purging all their good dinnerware... all the better for us I say!"
Or we all just want to enjoy good company, and don't care if we're serving food in pretty containers? Not to mention the extra work it makes.

Social Servingware
"I mirror the above comments with the slight addition that it's good to have matching and attractive coffee/teacups and saucers, as well as a coffee decanter and teapot so that you do not have to constantly get up to go to the kitchen in the middle of hosting a friend. Have serving trays so that you can bring a stack of cookies or crackers and cheese with you to the dining table or the living room in an elegant way. Remember as well to have a variety of trays and fun cake stands in the event that you need to display various appetizers or desserts when you are hosting a small party."
I think MM really does want to live in the 1950s. None of my mugs match - I like to collect mugs, and I find matching sets boring. On the bright side, in my small apartment the kitchen and living room are pretty much the same thing! I don't have to leave the room for a refill.

Window dressings
"It's not suitable for you to have no window dressings at all, OR to only have little blinds. Proper window dressings will actually dress up your house, but they will also make your space feel more "done" and elegant."
I don't have "window dressings" - I have two cats that would undoubtedly destroy them (and the blinds, which is why the blinds will remain up and their cords are wrapped around the blinds themselves). Also, curtains don't suit every window - I have 2 large, floor-to-ceiling windows, and curtains would make them look... odd. But daaaaaamn. "It's not suitable"???

Solid vacuum cleaner
"This is a no-brainer, but I highly recommend you invest in a really good vacuum cleaner. If you can afford it, try to go for an expensive model that will last a long time. We use ours almost every day due to having such a shedding dog but regardless of pet ownership, one cannot go wrong with a good vacuum."
I got rid of mine when I moved into my new place, which has 'hardwood'. I'm thinking of getting a handheld though, for the furniture.

Blank Cards 
"Have a stash of blank greeting cards on hand for a variety of occasions. It is always good to have cards available for birthdays, sympathy, thank-you's, and whatever ether need might arise. Take time to organize them and put them in a convenient location close to the door so that it will be easy to grab on your way out to church or a party."
The 1950s strikes again! My Grandma did that (but to be fair, she had 9 siblings and... 27? nieces and nephews). I've had some blank cards for about 10 years now, and I've still not had a reason to use them  I like to change up my holiday cards every year, and I prefer to purchase a birthday card for a specific person.

Washer Cleanser
"Buy tablets for the dishwasher and the washing machine to use monthly for a refresh and clean. This will help your appliances last MUCH longer and even improve the quality of each wash."
I had no idea this was a thing. Buying now! For the dishwasher, that is - I'm not cleaning a communal washer.

Extra Sets of Linens
"Have high quality and breathable linens on hand for both your master and guest bedrooms. We spend so much time between the sheets, it's important to invest in sheets that will be the most comfortable for you and your guests. I have purchased both new and used linens, and don't particularly have a preference for either."
... MM bought used linens? I don't know.... um, anyway, this isn't bad advice if you have a master or guest bedroom. I no longer have a sleeper couch, so I just have extra blankets (+ pillows).

Steamers, Iron & Ironing Board
"I have a large steamer for my dresses, table cloths, and curtains, and a travel-sized steamer for trips. This is essential if you want your outfit or home to look polished in a gif! Ironing items are of course, also essential in every person's home. More people need to be ironing their clothes, and having this on hand will make sure you always look polished and fresh for your events."
Meow! That's going to be one pressed and starched little boy. I refuse to buy anything that requires ironing, and if anything is looking wrinkled, I just hang it in the bathroom.

Sewing Machine 
"This will absolutely be essential for you as a homemaker. I believe that all full-time homemakers MUST learn how to sew, even in just a basic capacity. Sewing is an incredibly important skill that will bless your entire household. I find myself hemming my husband's pants, altering his shirts, and mending all other sorts of pieces nearly every week. Gaining the skill to make your own curtains, alter your own clothing, and mend pieces for your family members is essential."
Fortunately, as I have no intention of becoming a home-maker, I'm exempt from this requirement. Given pregnancy, I'm surprised she doesn't mention how 'blessed' she is to be able to alter her own clothing at this time.

Canvas Reusable Totes 
"I use these for my errands and shopping trips. I have a large canvas gap tote bag and I use it every time. Saying goodbye to plastic bags has been the best change I ever made, not just because of the environment, but also due to the fact that plastic bags are incredibly ANNOYING."
I agree, and have several. Of course, I also live in a city that's banned plastic and charges for paper, so!

Writing this tired her out, so she'll be back with a part 2 at some point! She urges women planning to become a home-maker to bookmark this page.

Edited September 12, 2020 by AmericanRose

[Giraffe]

Such a shame she spends her days pretending she lives in a fairytale. Her days sound so boring. I wonder how much of her drivel she actually believes. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

5 hours ago, Giraffe said:

Such a shame she spends her days pretending she lives in a fairytale. Her days sound so boring. I wonder how much of her drivel she actually believes. 

Her life will be quite busy when the baby comes along. I hope these two only have one kid but I’m afraid they will want a few more. Even if she is overwhelmed and unhappy being a SAHM.

[Hane]

In @AmericanRose’s quotation, what exactly does MM mean by having a heart attack “sight on scene”? Had she misheard the idiom “sight unseen” and misunderstood it as well?

[AuntCloud]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, she’s just a little Lady Lydia in training. What a lofty aspiration. Much life goals. 

[kaluce]

Big cringe on this BLM hot take. 

[Pleiades_06]

4 hours ago, kaluce said:

Big cringe on this BLM hot take. 

Wait-what did the UN do? Support LBGTQ rights? Are these people serious??

[AmericanRose]

For someone who said she wasn't going to be taking SM seriously upon her return, she sure has been busy - two blog posts in one day!

Achieving a Polished Look

"But as simple as it is to define, it can be complicated to actually pull off without experience or studying the experts. 
I have spent years and YEARS studying the art of the polished woman. My mother was of course my main role model in this area growing up. [...]
Even more, though, she would buy me large fashion books that highlighted the glamourous fashion greats from 1890 to 1990."

I thought she resented her mother? I can't keep track - she facilitates between 'my mom didn't support my femininity' to 'my mom taught me all I know'.

Spoiler

Foundation of Skincare. 
"Good skin is the foundation of any outfit, not just your makeup."

Eyes, lips, and blemishes. 
"I always ensure to line my eyes with mascara or a combination of liner and mascara. This helps them stand out on my face and makes me feel "finished." I also line and color in my lips, as I have noticed that that is one of the elements which really sets apart the girls from the women when it comes to the art of looking timeless and polished. 
A finished off Grace Kelly lip is sometimes all you need to really enter into the next level with your look. And finally, I always make sure my blemishes are concealed."
I always ensure to... is that proper English?

Sparkling jewelry. 
"I always wash my wedding band and ring with dish soap and make sure it's sparkling and ready for whatever event I'm headed to. You don't need a ton of jewelry, in fact, it can be most flattering to have minimal and tasteful jewelry, but if you ARE going to wear some, make sure it is clean and sparkling."
Is that right? Washing your ring with dish soap??

Proper undergarments. 
"A cute outfit can be absolutely harpooned by a saggy bra, underwear lines, or a see-through skirt. Don't make the fashion mistake of failing to sculpt your figure. The clothing is just the adornment on top of the real treat: YOU. So make sure you are sculpting and shaping your figure as best you can underneath those adornments to really help your clothing look flattering. This could mean cheeky underwear to avoid panty lines, a sturdier bra, or even wearing a pair of Spanx. 
Don't underestimate how many classic and elegant women make good use of shapewear. I will throw some on when I'm wearing a figure-hugging dress and follow MANY gorgeous women online who also make use of shapewear. Try your best to ensure that your chest is elevated and sturdy, and do make use of skirt slips underneath your dresses to avoid any accidents or peep shows. These extra little bits will help you get to that next level of "wow!" when it comes to how you look in clothing."
Ahaha, of course there's mention of bras! Not sure how I feel about being called a treat. Will also pass on cheeky underwear, thanks... and I'm not so sure "elevated and sturdy" is a very feminine way to describe chesticles!

Feminine shoes. 
"Honestly, I think if we all made a pact to throw out our masculine shoes, the world would be a prettier place for it. Masculine shoes might look chic on the model on Instagram, but when your average woman wears masculine shoes it tends to drag down her entire look. Have you ever noticed that most Russian women, (some of THE MOST polished and feminine women in the game) never wear masculine shoes? They make good use of pointed toes, feminine colors, and supple textures and heels to help their legs look long and their outfits look chic. 
I encourage you to only wear masculine shoes for utility purposes like chores or work and to avoid them for everyday errands, dinner dates, or any formal occasion. Learn how to walk in a short heel (2-3 inches) and adopt some neutral pumps to go with your everyday clothing. If you're married to your Chacos, this advice is not for you, but if you want to look polished and chic, the right shoe might be all that's holding you back from greatness."
What is with the Russia love these days? Also, WTF are 'masculine shoes'? Shoes without a heel? Are my lacy pink flats masculine??? I've never worn "chacos" in my life (not really a sandals person) but I'd be willing to bet my 'shoe collection' wouldn't pass MM's femininity test.

Say NO to Unflattering Loose Tops
"Loose tops are a scourge on our society. They RARELY flatter and most often obscure our central marker of femininity: the beautiful place from our bust to our waist, down to our hips. That golden place must not be hidden from the world! It is what makes you a woman! I encourage you to adopt fitted tops into your wardrobe. Not tight, not super immodest or revealing, just fitted. You can make use of draping or ruching if you would like to disguise extra tummy fat, but I encourage you to avoid the temptation of just throwing on extremely baggy sacklike tops in an effort to obscure your shape. 
[...] ALSO, I doubt I need to say this but stop wearing those free t-shirts that people get at fundraisers or for volunteering! They're terrible and will never be part of a polished look. No! Just no!"
Oh, Caitlin. There are many scourges on our society, but loose tops aren't one. Also raising an eyebrow at 'the golden place'... and the last bolded bit makes me feel as though she wishes she was Anna Wintour.

Complete Hair
"This is a tricky subject as we all have different hair, however, my advice is to be as natural as possible. Extremely unrealistic extensions, wigs, or colors are probably the furthest away from a complete and polished look. But we must NOT go too natural either. A "just washed" look might be cute on a supermodel, but for us mere mortal women, it's best to at least pay some care and attention to your hair with styling, moisture, and volume. 
Ensure you have some volume at the crown of your head, always make sure there are flattering pieces around your face, and avoid the trap of dead ends and frizzy hair shafts. Good hair takes time and effort: DAILY effort. It is not for the faint of heart. In general, the best thing you can do is get your hair to as healthy a state as humanly possible. In general, healthy hair will be much more manageable, flattering, and polished than damaged broken hair." 
Lol, be natural, but not too natural? What kind of advice is this? Personally, as a curly girl, I don't advise heat drying (or styling) your hair - just let it dry naturally, even if you're not a supermodel.

Extras
"Take your look to the next level with some extras. Wear earrings, have a nice pair of sunglasses pushed up on your head. Wear a fashion jacket, not a utility or sports jacket. Put on a dressier shoe, wear a watch, and carry a purse. These grown-up touches will help you look polished and put together."
I don't know. I feel like this is a lot to just run errands... date night or a fancy event? Absolutely. But to worry about all this for errands?? My mom would do herself up to go grocery shopping though, so it might be a SAHW thing - it was the only time she got out of the house.

It seems to me that Caitlin is bored, and like the 1950s housewives she strives to emulate, is making a big deal out of simple things to mask her boredom.

Edited September 14, 2020 by AmericanRose

[Giraffe]

WTF?! Is she using Mad Men as her go-to for her ideals? How will she cope with her postpartum body? This woman needs therapy.

[AmericanRose]

MM is really on a roll here with the blog posts!

My Best Hair Ever: My Hair Journey & Routine

Much like Bethany of Girl Defined is on a hat journey, MM herself began a hair journey 3 years ago.
 

Spoiler

 

Despite having thick, healthy waist-length hair in middle school, I fell prey to the 2000's trend of overheating, overcoloring, and over cutting my hair, all without ever attempting anything to mitigate the deadly effects. I was MUCH too comfortable with the smell of bleach, and I was even LESS comfortable with the concept of hair masks or hair care.

After years of hair dye, I didn't even know what my natural color was anymore. [...]

I'll never forget going in to see my hairdresser after two years of struggling with dry and broken hair[...]

For months after, I dutifully performed my hair care, all the while bemoaning the short layers I found sprinkled around my head. I would be watching a film with my husband, mindlessly fingering through my hair, only to realize that the top half of my hair only reached the nape of my neck. From years of 2000's style layering, I had ended up with half my hair being a completely different length than the rest. And yes, it was enough to make a grown woman cry LOL.

But layering aside, the dryness was almost UNSPEAKABLE. I'll never forget laying in bed with my husband and hearing him quietly ask if I could move my hair away from his face because it was making his skin itch [congrats, 'husbear', you sound like an ass! I guess turning around wouldn't have sufficed].

[...]

The top layer of hair receives the most damage: from hats, pillowcases, hairdryers, hairstyles, the wind, the sun, and countless other ways. And if you have delicate hair like mine, it makes it even more difficult to grow. I would constantly feel my hair breaking off at the ends, losing inch after inch of progress, even after months of care.

This was a dark time in my hair journey, but I knew that time would be the ultimate healing balm to my hair. I knew that if I was following all the rules, avoiding all my old mistakes, and simply waiting, that my hair would one day return to health. [...]

The following routine is what I have been doing for the past six months, and what has yielded the best results. My top layer, which used to only reach the nape of my neck now reaches my breast [!!!], and I am SO happy. It has completely doubled in length, even with all of the breakage, meaning my growth has been good.

[...]

I'm going to put a bullet point list of basic things and principles I applied before describing it in detail below.

- Oiling it before washing

- Scalp health management with shampoo & anti-inflammatory products

- Scalp health by using a scrubber to stimulate growth

- Protecting it from damage by using cotton/bamboo hair towels

- Using hair clips instead of ponytail holders to protect it

- Stop dying it

- Light trims at the bottom of the hair

- Stop touching it

- Wash regularly

- Use sealants and protectants from heat

- Detangle regularly

- Avoid damage from the elements

- Sleep in a protective style

- Change my diet

- Use a cleansing shampoo

- Use an extremely hydrating conditioner

- Be patient

So here is my complete hair routine!

Firstly, I wash my hair extremely regularly. I wash it a minimum of every third morning, and a maximum every other day. I began doing this after reading more about scalp health, and I can verify that my scalp feels SO much less irritated these days since adopting this routine. Many people think that it's best to wash your hair less often, but I have found that my hair has grown much healthier and is more manageable since washing it more frequently.

So the night before I am set to wash my hair, I put grapeseed oil through the shafts and to the ends. I do not put it on my scalp. I wipe the grapeseed oil on and brush it through, then follow that with witch hazel on my scalp to control irritability and inflammation. I used to get flakes quite regularly, but now that I apply witch hazel to my scalp, it has gotten much better.

Then, I brush my hair up into a bun and use large CLIPS to hold it in place. This is important: clips and satin scrunchies are safe for your hair, especially if it is fine or prone to breakage, whereas hair elastics or anything with a rough texture is NOT safe.

After sleeping I hop into the shower and remove the clips. I begin the wash with a cleansing wash that strips any buildup on my hair. This was an essential step for my hair journey as my hair tends to get a lot of buildup from products, hard water, and other sources, causing it to feel dirty, even after washing it.

So I use my cheap cleansing wash, then follow it up with a scalp healing cleansing wash. I wash my hair with shampoo twice, using both of these shampoos, making sure to scrub my scalp really good, getting all the areas. Then, I apply my hydrating conditioner to my entire head of hair, including my scalp. I let it sit for a while before rinsing it out and applying more only to the ends. If need be, I may shampoo again on the underneath part of my hair if it still feels like it needs a cleanse.

After finishing my shower, I run a gentle brush through my hair two times and wrap it in a cotton long sleeve shirt. It's important to avoid using rough towels or drying your hair with towels at all if you want to keep it safe from breakage! I wrap it up and push down on it to release the water. When it is 75% dry, I remove the shirt and apply my moisturizing hair cream before drying it with a brush and my hairdryer [but she says she lightens it 'naturally' by drying in the sun... also, heat isn't healthy for hair], either following the Brad Mondo blowout tutorial, or just drying it most of the way, and then applying clips to add volume.

Then I will wait a small amount of time, and remove the clips, revealing my fresh and bouncy blowout!

This blowout will last 2-3 days, but usually for 3 days. It lasts longer if I do not touch it or run my fingers through it, and only detangle it with a brush a couple of times throughout the day. I brush it out in the evening and sweep it into a clipped up bun for sleeping to avoid breakage/tangles in the night. I notice a MASSIVE difference in my hair if I fail to follow this step.

After the second day, I may have to add a little bit of dry shampoo to the oily parts and oil to the ends, but I typically stick with just brushing it out, maybe curling the ends a little, and straightening any cowlicks around my face. General maintenance is all I like to do with my hair, saving the real work for my wash/blowout routines.

Another thing I do to protect and grow out my hair is to watch out for wind damage.

Your hair can get extremely tangled and broken from a fun day out on the boat, or even from keeping the windows in your car open. I make sure that if I am going to be having the "wind blow through my hair," it is pulled back in a tight clipped bun, a braid, or it has a scarf around it to protect it [I strongly suspect this makes MM feel as though she's going driving in the 1950s]. Remember, we're not necessarily fighting to grow our hair: we're fighting to prevent breakage!

As far as trimming it, I used to trim it regularly, but I actually haven't trimmed it since April to see if it would grow longer, and it has! But when I do trim it, I gather it all to the front of my body and just take a tiny smidge, only a millimeter, off the bottom with hair cutting scissors. Do not cut your hair with anything other than professional cutting scissors!

Finally, the last change I made was to pivot from a more plant and carb focused diet (bagels, salads, crackers, veggies, sandwiches) to an animal and protein-based diet [though I don't disagree with cutting down on carbs... what's wrong with veggies???]. I did this for fertility reasons this past year, but I have noticed an extreme boost in my hair growth since doing this. I drink whole milk every day, eat eggs every morning, and eat at least one meal with meat once a day. I have cut out a lot of processed carbs and replaced them with protein-filled options like whole milk greek yogurt and various meats. Remember, hair is PROTEIN. It is literally made up of protein, and if you are not getting good protein, you will have a much harder time growing your hair.

Finally, I am happy to report that as of one year ago, my husband quietly said to me that my hair doesn't make his face itch anymore. And yes, that was also enough to make a grown woman cry... tears of joy, not pain. LOL! [Brb, eyerolling]

 

Am I surprised that she managed to sneak in a 'breast' mention? ... yes? I mean, it's an article about HAIR... and I have never once described my hair as "breast length".

Also, this all seems like a lot of work. I can't help but feel all this was invented because she was bored, and I'm curious to see how much is thrown out the window when Son of Husbear is born. Or when she's 8 months. 

[AmericanRose]

I began following CC Marie a few weeks ago, and was pleased to see this video pop up today. She does a really good job here in listing the concerns she (and others) have about MM.

[ignorantobserver]

I have a hard time imagining that she came up with her "15 Elements to a Complete Homemaker's House (Pt 1)" on her own. It sounds like something she read in a 1950-60s book on good housekeeping (you know, the ones people offered a young bride). The instructions are too precise (I very much doubt she is educated enough to know what greeting cards are) and too "old-fashioned" to match her generation. Someone her age trying to be a good housewife would probably talk about her kitchen garden, her breadmaker and her "zero waste", all organic pantry.

Obviously, she is not really talking about reality here, but pandering to a fantasy of a certain public, as exemplified by these comments : "drying the bacon before I put it on my husband's breakfast burritos" ; "...bring a stack of cookies or crackers and cheese with you to the dining table or the living room in an elegant way" ; "We spend so much time between the sheets", "drawer dividers [...] I have one separating my regular bras from my sport/sleep bras". At this point, she is just openly embracing her status as a wannabe alt-right sex idol !

 

On 9/19/2020 at 4:58 AM, AmericanRose said:

Finally, I am happy to report that as of one year ago, my husband quietly said to me that my hair doesn't make his face itch anymore. And yes, that was also enough to make a grown woman cry... tears of joy, not pain. LOL!

Come on, we are entering fetish territory here ! At no point in human history (to the best of my knowledge) was it an actual societal ideal for women to be that submissive. How about cleaning his feet with your newfound, soft and fluffy hair ? Also, this little anecdote doesn't make her husband seem particularly endearing.

I am still under the impression that she is either searching for male approval by playing the "old-fashioned pin-up girl" for strangers on the interet, or that she is knowingly catering to a sexual fetish to make money. Everything about her screams "macho fantasy". There is absolutely no way she believes her channel to be aimed at women, or even to be about homemaking. It is not, no more than the photos of naked firefighters in a charity calendar are illustrations for good fire safety procedures.

Edited September 20, 2020 by ignorantobserver

[Marmion]

On 9/18/2020 at 10:58 PM, AmericanRose said:

For months after, I dutifully performed my hair care, all the while bemoaning the short layers I found sprinkled around my head. I would be watching a film with my husband, mindlessly fingering through my hair, only to realize that the top half of my hair only reached the nape of my neck. From years of 2000's style layering, I had ended up with half my hair being a completely different length than the rest. And yes, it was enough to make a grown woman cry LOL.

What she could have done would be to just cut off the bottom half , below the nape of the neck , so that it looks like this , for example .  

Spoiler

 

Spoiler

This would have been the quickest , and simplest solution to her hair crisis .  

[Walking Cat Bed]

4 hours ago, ignorantobserver said:

It is not, no more than the photos of naked firefighters in a charity calendar are illustrations for good fire safety procedures.

Of course not, those are all about puppy adoptions. 

[kaluce]

It definitely seems like she's ramped up the boob references since announcing her pregnancy. She's gotta keep her core audience of men in tow now that her body is changing beyond her control. I watch a lot of vlogs from homemakers/stay at home moms during the day and NONE have ever mentioned their boobs like she does. 

[cartouche]

Who was it who said she looks like Draco Malfoy with her new low maintenance hairstyle? ?

*hisses* POTTER!

In all seriousness she looks fine and I wouldn’t knock this look on anyone else. I’m just wondering how she’s going to spin her new low maintenance pregnant woman/mom look to make it satisfy her own unrealistic expectation that women prioritize appearance and desirability no matter *everything else that’s going on in life*.

[quiversR4hunting]

13 hours ago, cartouche said:

Who was it who said she looks like Draco Malfoy with her new low maintenance hairstyle? ?

*hisses* POTTER!

In all seriousness she looks fine and I wouldn’t knock this look on anyone else. I’m just wondering how she’s going to spin her new low maintenance pregnant woman/mom look to make it satisfy her own unrealistic expectation that women prioritize appearance and desirability no matter *everything else that’s going on in life*.

That is quite the filter! Why not showing the unfiltered version? I hate this glamour filter (or whatever it is called). 

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, quiversR4hunting said:

That is quite the filter! Why not showing the unfiltered version? I hate this glamour filter (or whatever it is called). 

Me too. When I was a teen in the 90s, no one told us that models in magazines were photoshopped. I just assumed everyone was perfect except for me. Now teens don’t look at photoshopping images in magazines. They look at heavily filtered pictures of people on social media. It must do a number on the self esteem.