Maxwell 37: The Moody Family Buys Matching Vests to Wear to Jesse's Wedding

[Coconut Flan]

The general view is that she's going to a place where this is the who we are:

Quote

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[Bethy]

2 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

That would make me feel worse, actually.

A balding man shaving his head is in no way comparable to a woman with long hair doing the same.  After a month or so he's back to normal and it would be years before mine would even be past my shoulders again.

This could be one of those things that most people think are a nice gesture and I just don't get.  

AM alluded to her hair being gone earlier in treatment, and said she would post more about that later. Based on what I'd read about cancer patients, I didn't think chemo made all of your hair fall on the floor at the very first treatment, so I'm guessing she had it cut to shoulder length, then shorn off to use for a wig that's still in the process of being made.

As to "empathy shaving" - I think everyone's mileage varies. When I was in HS my best friend had a health scare that could have turned out to be leukemia (but thankfully was nothing.) We both had similarly long hair and if she'd lost hers to cancer I'd have shaved mine in solidarity in a heartbeat. But that's a couple of 15-year-olds standing together and I agree, a man who already wears his hair a quarter of an inch long isn't really giving up much to be bald like his cancer-warrior wife.

[emesbe]

11 hours ago, LilMissMetaphor said:

Teri, find some clothes that fit.  

exCUSE me, fitted clothes are an eyeTRAP and cannot be considered!!!!

[Bethy]

13 minutes ago, emesbe said:

exCUSE me, fitted clothes are an eyeTRAP and cannot be considered!!!!

I'll give her a pass on the outfit...I think that denim skirt has been seen on Teri ever since they dumped the frumpers in early 2011. Long, loose denim skirts aren't inherently flattering but that doesn't look ridiculous for what it is, if that makes sense.

As to the jacket, it looks like something from the 90s - when everything actually WAS baggy and boxy. We know from the Christmas post where Mary got a new winter coat after wearing the same one for like 50% of her life that they buy durable clothes and wear them out. I don't think the jacket was any kind of fashion statement or even an edict by the Modesty Police - just what she's had in the coat closet for the last quarter of a century.

[Hane]

@PennySycamore, of course—I forgot to mention that the beginning of the HIV/AIDS epidemic was what forced people to be far more cautious when it came to milk donation. It’s striking how just a few years made such an enormous difference in medical procedures.

[SassyPants]

9 hours ago, Hane said:

@PennySycamore, of course—I forgot to mention that the beginning of the HIV/AIDS epidemic was what forced people to be far more cautious when it came to milk donation. It’s striking how just a few years made such an enormous difference in medical procedures.

This leads me to wonder what long term behavioral ramifications and regulations will occur due to Covid-19. I would not be surprised if all future flights will require passengers to wear masks. I just flew home from overseas and wore masks for 2 straight days. It was not as problematic or uncomfortable as I had once imagined.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

2 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

This leads me to wonder what long term behavioral ramifications and regulations will occur due to Covid-19. I would not be surprised if all future flights will require passengers to wear masks. I just flew home from overseas and wore masks for 2 straight days. It was not as problematic or uncomfortable as I had once imagined.

I worked at a Japanese owned company once and loved that it was completely acceptable to wear a mask if you, or a coworker, was even just sniffly.  I hope something good to come out of this will be American's far more comfortable with wearing masks which can help with even the common cold and other things we just accept as part of life.

I also hope Fauchi gets his wish and handshaking goes the way of the courtsey and is relegated to history.  

[SassyPants]

17 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I worked at a Japanese owned company once and loved that it was completely acceptable to wear a mask if you, or a coworker, was even just sniffly.  I hope something good to come out of this will be American's far more comfortable with wearing masks which can help with even the common cold and other things we just accept as part of life.

I also hope Fauchi gets his wish and handshaking goes the way of the courtsey and is relegated to history.  

We flew in early March right before all the shutdowns were started. I was willing to wear a mask, but was unable to secure one before my flight. My husband, a man who flies extensively for his job, and who is convinced that he had Covid in February, said that he would not wear voluntary wear a mask. Well, guess who is now all about wearing the mask? I agree that mask use should be more prevalent especially during cold and flu season. 

[Dru]

15 hours ago, Dee-Dee said:

Anyone notice that in the background of the 7th to last pic from the Mother’s Day post (Abby is in the front waiting for dessert) there is clearly a woman wearing pants in the background with long, dark hair? Say what you will about Chelsy, but I say way to go for her feeling comfortable enough to wear pants around her ultra-conservative in-laws.

I agree. Of course Sarah does her best to not include pictures showing her wearing pants. Heaven forbid any readers think that Steve's sons have actually chosen to do things differently.

14 hours ago, emesbe said:

exCUSE me, fitted clothes are an eyeTRAP and cannot be considered!!!!

I wonder if Steve turns his head away from Chelsy what with her sinful pants and fitted shirts. Don't even get me started on the patterns and shirts with words printed across her chest.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

12 minutes ago, Dru said:

I agree. Of course Sarah does her best to not include pictures showing her wearing pants. Heaven forbid any readers think that Steve's sons have actually chosen to do things differently.

I wonder if Steve turns his head away from Chelsy what with her sinful pants and fitted shirts. Don't even get me started on the patterns and shirts with words printed across her chest.

Not to be gross, but as he harps that those things are always eyetraps causing men to sin, isn't he saying he has sinful thoughts about all women dressed like that?  Including Chelsy?

If I were Chelsy I'd probably dress to their standards around them just because I wouldn't want my FIL who admittedly has no control over his ogling, to look at me sexually.  IOW I'd comply not to obey, but to avoid arousing Steve.

[Syriana]

8 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Not to be gross, but as he harps that those things are always eyetraps causing men to sin, isn't he saying he has sinful thoughts about all women dressed like that?  Including Chelsy?

It would seem to imply that!

Given the regularity with which he spouts 'men are the leaders' and 'brothers, what example are you setting' &etc I really think he needs to take a long look at himself.  What kind of leadership is he demonstrating by holding others (women!) responsible for his thoughts/feelings/actions(?) and, perhaps more importantly, what kind of example is he setting with the lack of self discipline implied by his blaming of others? 

Steve's constant blaming of others and consideration that anything pleasurable/enjoyable is wrong or an idol brings his strength of character into question (candy floss in a rain storm seems about right imo)

[Bethy]

1 hour ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Not to be gross, but as he harps that those things are always eyetraps causing men to sin, isn't he saying he has sinful thoughts about all women dressed like that?  Including Chelsy?

I can't remember the exact wording of the question, but I think the Harris twins' (youngest brothers of Josh Harris) Modesty Survey of 2007 had some question wherein a lot of guys very creepily admitted that they were "stumbled" by the sight of their own sisters if not modestly dressed.

Possible TRIGGER:

There's a lot of that sort of thing in Gothard theology, including one written account of an older brother who molested siblings (and no, I don't think it was Josh Duggar - IIRC this was an account older than his situation) and in his explanation of what led to this, blamed his parents for leaning on him to change the diapers of his younger siblings, and for not insisting on "Levitical modesty" (basically, covered from the neck to the knees as priests were commanded to do in Leviticus) at all times in the home for his toddler siblings, who were carelessly allowed to roam around naked after a bath.

[Black Aliss]

1 hour ago, Dru said:

I agree. Of course Sarah does her best to not include pictures showing her wearing pants. Heaven forbid any readers think that Steve's sons have actually chosen to do things differently.

I wonder if Steve turns his head away from Chelsy what with her sinful pants and fitted shirts. Don't even get me started on the patterns and shirts with words printed across her chest.

Someone needs to get her the T-shirt that says "My face is up here" with an up-arrow.

[smittykins]

22 hours ago, Alisamer said:

 

I find construction work mildly interesting, but on the subject of "watching people work" any time I'm at an airport I try to be near enough a window to watch the goings-on out on the tarmac. My favorite thing I saw was when a luggage cart train took a corner too fast and a couple suitcases flew out RIGHT behind the wheels of a 747 that was already delayed and supposed to leave any minute. They sat there for a good 2 hours with people just driving around them, but luckily the plane was delayed more and more too. I never saw the end result - our plane left before the 747 did.

When I was a kid(back in the 70s, when they allowed you to do so), Mom and I would sometimes drive out to Hancock Airport in Syracuse and watch the planes take off and land.

19 hours ago, Lady Grass Lake said:

There is this really great show on the Science Channel - on Cable TV, that show how things are made, I've seen everything from bicycles, yarn, fabric, hats, musical instruments, ice cream novelties, sexing baby chicks, bacon, and way more.  We call it Crack TV because there are times when they do a marathon and the half hour shows run 24 hours a day.  We record all the new episodes.  It's an extra package for on on DirecRV/ATT but worth it for that channel alone.    What is really interesting to us is, how no matter how good automation gets, there are some things that you just have to do by hand.  

Sorry for the double post, but I LOVE How It’s Made.  I can watch clips on YouTube for hours.

[Dru]

2 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Not to be gross, but as he harps that those things are always eyetraps causing men to sin, isn't he saying he has sinful thoughts about all women dressed like that?  Including Chelsy?

If I were Chelsy I'd probably dress to their standards around them just because I wouldn't want my FIL who admittedly has no control over his ogling, to look at me sexually.  IOW I'd comply not to obey, but to avoid arousing Steve.

Honestly, and I can only speak for myself of course, but i would view that as his problem and not mine. I don't feel the need nor obligation to change my perfectly normal behaviors to accommodate people who can't handle themselves. 

[fundiefan]

7 minutes ago, Dru said:

Honestly, and I can only speak for myself of course, but i would view that as his problem and not mine. I don't feel the need nor obligation to change my perfectly normal behaviors to accommodate people who can't handle themselves. 

This.

If a man has issues with HIS reaction to a woman, in any context, it is HIS problem. It's not my job to dress in a way that doesn't get him hot & bothered, or make him cry, or anything else. It's on him, not me. Women are not here to make life easier, or harder, for men. Our existence has nothing to do with his. 

I can't tell you how it irks me whenever fundies get into what "causes men to stumble" or cry at the sight of or anything else having to do with women. 

Dude, if you can't control yourself when you see a female body, you need help no piece of clothing is going to give you. And I sure as hell ain't going to conform to your wishes just so you don't cry or cream yourself. 

[Dru]

17 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

This.

If a man has issues with HIS reaction to a woman, in any context, it is HIS problem. It's not my job to dress in a way that doesn't get him hot & bothered, or make him cry, or anything else. It's on him, not me. Women are not here to make life easier, or harder, for men. Our existence has nothing to do with his. 

I can't tell you how it irks me whenever fundies get into what "causes men to stumble" or cry at the sight of or anything else having to do with women. 

Dude, if you can't control yourself when you see a female body, you need help no piece of clothing is going to give you. And I sure as hell ain't going to conform to your wishes just so you don't cry or cream yourself. 

Ok, so I officially love you. That aside, why does no one take into account what may make a woman "stumble"? I mean, are we so virtuous that we don't "stumble" or are we temptresses that lead men astray? Oh wait! I got it! We have no feelings or desires, we just lead men astray because of our sinful nature.

32 minutes ago, Dru said:

Honestly, and I can only speak for myself of course, but i would view that as his problem and not mine. I don't feel the need nor obligation to change my perfectly normal behaviors to accommodate people who can't handle themselves. 

I'm not in love with all of Chels beliefs, but I applaud her for not giving in to her tyrannical FIL's will. I also applaud John for taking a stand (as I'm sure he had to do behind the scenes)

[PennySycamore]

@smittykins,  waiting for a flight to arrive was sooo much easier with kids when you could let them see the planes take-off and land.  The Greenville-Spartanburg airport in SC had a little courtyard in the back with a fountain and that helped with the restless kids, too.  They were often waiting for their great-grandparents to arrive from DC/Alexandria, Virginia who always brought them a treat or three so yep, they were restless.  Btw,  when we fly up to see my daughter and family in Old Forge for the 4th of July, we always fly into Syracuse.

@HerNameIsBuffy,  I don't miss handshaking at all but I wouldn't mind if we returned to bowing and curtseying.  The curtsey does have the problem that it's gendered but we could also do what the East Asians do and bow to one another.  It does not always imply rank; peers greet one another by bowing.  Or we could put our hands together and say "Namaste".  Any of those sound fine by me:  I'm an Austenite (Jane, that is), loved my studies in East Asian history and studied Japanese as well, and am a Buddhist.  (Yeah, Buddhists are atheists.)

Edited May 15, 2020 by PennySycamore

[Bethy]

2 hours ago, Bethy said:

Possible TRIGGER:

There's a lot of that sort of thing in Gothard theology, including one written account of an older brother who molested siblings (and no, I don't think it was Josh Duggar - IIRC this was an account older than his situation) and in his explanation of what led to this, blamed his parents for leaning on him to change the diapers of his younger siblings, and for not insisting on "Levitical modesty" (basically, covered from the neck to the knees as priests were commanded to do in Leviticus) at all times in the home for his toddler siblings, who were carelessly allowed to roam around naked after a bath.

If anyone can stomach it (and hasn't seen it discussed elsewhere) here's a link to Recovering Grace's rundown of that family's account. I think RG does a good job of pointing out all the places where the perpetrator shifts blame to everyone but himself...it's even more disgusting than I remembered. https://www.recoveringgrace.org/2013/04/how-lessons-from-moral-failures-in-a-family-blames-victims/

I don't know how strong the ties are between the Maxwells and Gothard but I seem to remember there's some ATI/Wisdom Booklets in their homeschooling past. Correct me if I'm wrong.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

3 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

as he harps that those things are always eyetraps causing men to sin, i

 

Never considers that women can see things men do/wear and lust!  How about letting your junk jiggle in those loose, comfy pants?

I've shared this many times but I'll share it again for fun: Modesty for Men: How to Keep Women From Lusting!

https://hopewellslibraryoflife.wordpress.com/2016/05/26/9881/

[PennySycamore]

@IReallyAmHopewell, that blog post is brilliant and hilarious!

[HerNameIsBuffy]

2 hours ago, Dru said:

Honestly, and I can only speak for myself of course, but i would view that as his problem and not mine. I don't feel the need nor obligation to change my perfectly normal behaviors to accommodate people who can't handle themselves. 

I absolutely agree with you in theory, and certainly didn't intent to imply that I thought Chelsy should change one thing about how she dresses.

I was speaking for myself.  I would personally be uncomfortable wearing something my FIL has stated makes him see me as sexual.  Just like if I were wearing a form fitting top I thought was perfectly appropriate and he was staring at my boobs.  I'd put a cardigan on or change because his problem would make ME uncomfortable.

Your approach is far healthier, I'm sure...mine would be the only thing I could do due to my need to protect myself from the discomfort I'd feel.

[this hypothetical went a little weird as in truth if I had to cover up to keep a family member from lusting I would not be around that person, nor would my children.  I have a relatively easy time cutting people out of my life and going no contact....I'm a big believer in shunning when warranted both personally and as a society and don't think we do it nearly enough.]

Edited May 15, 2020 by HerNameIsBuffy

[PennySycamore]

@IReallyAmHopewell,  I might take a little exception to your otherwise wondwerful blog post:  I am watching North by Northwest at the moment and damn, does Cary Grant look sexy as hell in a gray flannel suit!   Of course, his suit is NOT off-the-rack ,  I think the trousers might be flat-front, and he's wearing black, expensive looking loafers.  Also, he's also not wearing a tie in the latter part of the picture.

[FloraDoraDolly]

6 hours ago, Dru said:

I'm not in love with all of Chels beliefs, but I applaud her for not giving in to her tyrannical FIL's will. I also applaud John for taking a stand (as I'm sure he had to do behind the scenes)

Since John was the "rebellious" Maxwell child, I wonder if he gets a rise out of bringing his pants-wearing wife around to the family compound and then just shrugging it off when Steveus asks John why he "lets" his wife dress like that.

[feministxtian]

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