Coping Strategies for Dealing with COVID-19

[Ozlsn]

15 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Mom insisting on going out and shopping for everyone she's ever met

Oh yes, that is my mother. She is shopping for her circle of friends and neighbours, because, well, she's the one who can get out the most easily and my dad is also fit and well (quite a few of her friends husbands have health issues). At least she's going during the "elderly" shopping hour, and socially isolating in between that. Fortunately the supermarkets are moving back to online shopping (they stopped during the panic buying) so hopefully they'll all register and do that. 

[smittykins]

I escaped the pod for a few minutes this morning to drop off my rent* and mail some bills.  The complex is a ghost town, I rarely see kids at the playground anymore(it’s next to my building; they were there more frequently the first few days after school was closed).

*The office is open by appointment only, but there’s a slot in the wall to put our rent checks.  I hope someone’s coming by to collect them.

[danvillebelle]

I made the mistake of posting a meme about staying home no matter what on my fb page and had 3 friends clap back saying "show me the scientific evidence for the risk I'm taking to go visit my friend/relative and keep several feet between us."

I won't be posting any more because I can't handle that shit.  All I see is LA LA LA THE RULES DO NOT APPLY TO ME.  These are otherwise reasonable, smart, liberal Democrat friends.

I sincerely hope for their sake they don't get sick or get it, stay asymptomatic and pass it on to someone else. 

[thoughtful]

I apologize in advance, since this runs the risk of stepping outside of our usual traditions at FJ (thread drift is fine, don't tell others how to post, etc.).

I have a request.

This thread was started in order to gather ideas for coping strategies. One strategy I know people are using is to avoid reading about the worst news, or worst behaviors of others, when they are feeling frightened or stressed.

I'd hate to think of someone looking for calming content and coming across posts about people who are being assholes and ignoring the guidelines.

There is a thread for venting about the covidiots:

Anyone who wants to vent about them (and I know that is a coping strategy, as well, believe me!) - any chance we can keep it to that thread, or the general Coronavirus one or the culture wars one, rather than here?

[Ozlsn]

Anyone who enjoys the insanity of the Met Gala fashions and who is having withdrawal symptoms - check out Fashion Critical's Faux Met Gala Album. She's a blogger who gently mocks the usual fashions and she put out the call to her readers to dress Met and send in photos. Some people are wonderfully creative and manage to capture the Met spirit beautifully.

[CTRLZero]

I mentioned upthread that my daughter and I are sending each other seeds for our gardens.  I've been busy pulling up sod, and actually just kept going until my garden plot is twice as large as I originally planned.  Yesterday we picked up a load of garden soil.  Who knew I could get so danged excited about dirt!  Today I picked up scrap lumber for the raised beds and cold frames.  I've never tried cold frames but am up for the learning challenge.  We are moving some outdoor chairs and tables near the garden area, so we'll be all set to watch the vegetables grow this summer.  Fingers crossed.  ?

[K'Z'K]

In 2007, I was at a private research facility in the mountains of South Africa. Within three days of my arrival, I had fallen and broken my femur and gotten one hell of a concussion (not formally diagnosed, but I have a freaking dent in my forehead, so I'm calling it). I had emergency surgery, then spent six days in the hospital, four of them in ICU. I couldn't fly home until I healed a bit. So for the next eight weeks, I did nothing. At all.

This was before e-book readers were a thing (I got one the next year, even though they were like $400). We had no cell service and I didn't have a phone anyway, not that anyone did. No internet. No TV. Electricity via generator for a few hours a day, but no movies or anything. Our hosts had a few books in English, but only a few. Town was an hour and a half away. The first 45 minutes of that journey was a  7-km mountain "road" not worthy of the title (though I did know someone to get a Volkwagen Jetta up it). I didn't go to town for over a week because getting down and back up the mountain was just too painful. Once I did start going along with the weekly trips to town, I'd go to physiotherapy then just sit in the internet cafe (or the regular cafe it was attached to) all morning, then get picked up to go grocery shopping. The other six days of the week, I slept, sat around, did my physiotherapy exercises, and slept some more. I was in constant pain because I refuse to take opioids unless I'm on the verge of passing out from the pain and nothing else helped.

People sometimes tell me they'd love to have weeks to just sit in a beautiful spot and watch the birds, but as many are now learning, that shit gets old. Fast. I was basically confined to my cabin or the lawn just outside it. There were other people around in the evenings, which was good since I couldn't stand to cook or light the fire to heat the water for my shower (I had a plastic lawn chair in the shower stall), but I was mostly alone. I also have a long history of major depression, and that was in full swing. The meds I was on for it at the time didn't do shit.

And yet, despite being bored out of my skull, I still couldn't get through Darwin's On the Origin of Species, one of the few books I had. Dude had some good ideas, but damn he rambled. At times about how he wished he had time to write the full-length manuscript he wanted to. I love Alfred Russel Wallace for scooping him on the natural selection thing. And yes, I am aware of the length of this post.

 

So I cope with coronavirus-induced quarantine (I don't have it--yet) by reminding myself that I made it through two months of doing absolutely nothing. I can do a couple months basically, but not entirely, housebound. I can cook, go for walks (carefully--I live in a dense city so it's like a human slalom course out there), and have virtually unlimited books and internet with Amazon/Netflix/Hulu. My depression is as under control as it ever is, which is to say not controlled but I'm used to it and can just stubborn my way through as always. That's a useful skill right now--the ability to just get through it.

Some things were better in 2007. I knew when I'd be going home (where I did have internet), and I knew I'd recover. It was just me, and the rest of the world was fine. But my personal situation is more tolerable now, at least at the moment. And I'm living in the moment because that's how I get through it.

I take it a day at a time. If we had an endpoint, I'd do a countdown, but since it's gonna be at least a year, realistically more like two, before there's a vaccine . . . it's day to day. Just get through each day. Just keep swimming.

I cope by reminding myself that most of us WILL get though this, either never sick or a relatively mild sick. I hope to be one of them, and I hope the same for all of you. One day, we will be able to resume our lives. But for now, we have to put it all on hold.

Try to sleep normal hours. Get up, do the little bit of online work I have. Hope I don't get called and asked to work my regular job (veterinary emergency--I'm per diem at two different hospitals. I'm not currently on the schedule at either place (my choice), but they'll call when someone gets sick or they get swamped). Find things to watch--if you ever wanted to get though a long series start to finish, now is the time. Read. Cuddle the cats, especially the needy one. Listen to music. Give myself a project. The basement looks better than it did, and I will be doing some chainmaille once I come up with an idea. I keep up with the news because being informed is good, but I sometimes turn it off. All I can do at the moment is stay home and not make it worse, and reading about how bad it is won't change anything on my end. So enjoy some ignorance.  And keep swimming.

 

 

 

 

 

[viii]

I made a pretty extensive to do list of things I wanted to accomplish around my apartment. It’s pretty much done and now I am done with quarantine. I absolutely hate this. I am an extrovert. I used to spend one night at home before. Now I am here 24/7. 

I’m having my second bath of the day because why not? 

[NotQuiteMotY]

I keep joking that my self-isolation hobbies are drinking coffee and stress-knitting. It's not entirely a joke...

Honestly, what's driving me the most nuts is that a lot of the stuff I'd like to do being home all day I can't do. Watch TV/movies? Nope, kids around. Bake? Watching how I consume flour/eggs/butter/milk. Write fanfic? You think I have space and ability to concentrate? Actually have a clean house? Um... first I have to pick up all the toys and my husband's stuff. 

You'd think I'd manage better, because I'm mostly a SAHM and only work part-time a day or two a week, but I hadn't realized how much I count on stuff like naptime, Elder being at preschool, being able to run to the store with or without kids in tow, or being able to stop by my parents' or in-laws', for mental and physical breaks. So now I don't have those outlets and I'm worrying like mad about all my family, who are either high-risk or working an essential job, and several of whom are being far too lackadaisical about this.

So, I'm knitting. I'm trying to view it as a hopeful activity as well as a stress-relieving one, because the current project is a baby blanket for an expecting friend, and I just found out another friend is, too; fortunately I have the yarn for hers already, because I knew she was thinking of trying. And I've dipped into crocheting for a couple quick scrubbies, and I gave into temptation and ordered fiber so I can try drop spindling to make MORE yarn.

Now if I can just cut down on the coffee, that would be a good thing.

[47of74]

I'm working on my law school long paper so I can get it finished up and be done with school instead of worrying about the virus.  I'm about 4,000 words in.  The minimum is 8,500 words but I'll be well above that  most likely since I have to set the table first.

[CTRLZero]

My husband brought home a three-pound tub of sour cream. ?  Since we generally use only a dollop or two per month, I was wondering how I could use the rest before it goes bad.  Thanks to Google, I found that sour cream can be frozen (although it changes the texture), and that there are lots of baking recipes that use sour cream.  So, something new to try during our confinement. 

Also, we are experimenting with making margaritas.  It turns out, you can't go wrong, lol!  ??

[thoughtful]

@CTRLZero, as long as you don't attempt sour cream margaritas, I think all will be well.

 

[LilMissMetaphor]

I am, admittedly, not coping very well.  But I haven't seen this shared yet here and I am hoping it may help some others.

(From a psychologist:
After having thirty-one sessions this week with patients where the singular focus was COVID-19 and how to cope, I decided to consolidate my advice and make a list that I hope is helpful to all. I can't control a lot of what is going on right now, but I can contribute this.

Edit: I am surprised and heartened that this has been shared so widely! People have asked me to credential myself, so to that end, I am a doctoral level Psychologist in NYS with a Psy.D. in the specialities of School and Clinical Psychology.)

MENTAL HEALTH WELLNESS TIPS FOR QUARANTINE

1. Stick to a routine. Go to sleep and wake up at a reasonable time, write a schedule that is varied and includes time for work as well as self-care.

2. Dress for the social life you want, not the social life you have. Get showered and dressed in comfortable clothes, wash your face, brush your teeth. Take the time to do a bath or a facial. Put on some bright colors. It is amazing how our dress can impact our mood.

3. Get out at least once a day, for at least thirty minutes. If you are concerned of contact, try first thing in the morning, or later in the evening, and try less traveled streets and avenues. If you are high risk or living with those who are high risk, open the windows and blast the fan. It is amazing how much fresh air can do for spirits.

4. Find some time to move each day, again daily for at least thirty minutes. If you don’t feel comfortable going outside, there are many YouTube videos that offer free movement classes, and if all else fails, turn on the music and have a dance party!

5. Reach out to others, you guessed it, at least once daily for thirty minutes. Try to do FaceTime, Skype, phone calls, texting—connect with other people to seek and provide support. Don’t forget to do this for your children as well. Set up virtual playdates with friends daily via FaceTime, Facebook Messenger Kids, Zoom, etc—your kids miss their friends, too!

6. Stay hydrated and eat well. This one may seem obvious, but stress and eating often don’t mix well, and we find ourselves over-indulging, forgetting to eat, and avoiding food. Drink plenty of water, eat some good and nutritious foods, and challenge yourself to learn how to cook something new!

7. Develop a self-care toolkit. This can look different for everyone. A lot of successful self-care strategies involve a sensory component (seven senses: touch, taste, sight, hearing, smell, vestibular (movement) and proprioceptive (comforting pressure). An idea for each: a soft blanket or stuffed animal, a hot chocolate, photos of vacations, comforting music, lavender or eucalyptus oil, a small swing or rocking chair, a weighted blanket. A journal, an inspirational book, or a mandala coloring book is wonderful, bubbles to blow or blowing watercolor on paper through a straw are visually appealing as well as work on controlled breath. Mint gum, Listerine strips, ginger ale, frozen Starburst, ice packs, and cold are also good for anxiety regulation. For children, it is great to help them create a self-regulation comfort box (often a shoe-box or bin they can decorate) that they can use on the ready for first-aid when overwhelmed.

8. Spend extra time playing with children. Children will rarely communicate how they are feeling, but will often make a bid for attention and communication through play. Don’t be surprised to see therapeutic themes of illness, doctor visits, and isolation play through. Understand that play is cathartic and helpful for children—it is how they process their world and problem solve, and there’s a lot they are seeing and experiencing in the now.

9. Give everyone the benefit of the doubt, and a wide berth. A lot of cooped up time can bring out the worst in everyone. Each person will have moments when they will not be at their best. It is important to move with grace through blowups, to not show up to every argument you are invited to, and to not hold grudges and continue disagreements. Everyone is doing the best they can to make it through this.

10. Everyone find their own retreat space. Space is at a premium, particularly with city living. It is important that people think through their own separate space for work and for relaxation. For children, help them identify a place where they can go to retreat when stressed. You can make this place cozy by using blankets, pillows, cushions, scarves, beanbags, tents, and “forts”. It is good to know that even when we are on top of each other, we have our own special place to go to be alone.

11. Expect behavioral issues in children, and respond gently. We are all struggling with disruption in routine, none more than children, who rely on routines constructed by others to make them feel safe and to know what comes next. Expect increased anxiety, worries and fears, nightmares, difficulty separating or sleeping, testing limits, and meltdowns. Do not introduce major behavioral plans or consequences at this time—hold stable and focus on emotional connection.

12. Focus on safety and attachment. We are going to be living for a bit with the unprecedented demand of meeting all work deadlines, homeschooling children, running a sterile household, and making a whole lot of entertainment in confinement. We can get wrapped up in meeting expectations in all domains, but we must remember that these are scary and unpredictable times for children. Focus on strengthening the connection through time spent following their lead, through physical touch, through play, through therapeutic books, and via verbal reassurances that you will be there for them in this time.

13. Lower expectations and practice radical self-acceptance. This idea is connected with #12. We are doing too many things in this moment, under fear and stress. This does not make a formula for excellence. Instead, give yourself what psychologists call “radical self acceptance”: accepting everything about yourself, your current situation, and your life without question, blame, or pushback. You cannot fail at this—there is no roadmap, no precedent for this, and we are all truly doing the best we can in an impossible situation.

14. Limit social media and COVID conversation, especially around children. One can find tons of information on COVID-19 to consume, and it changes minute to minute. The information is often sensationalized, negatively skewed, and alarmist. Find a few trusted sources that you can check in with consistently, limit it to a few times a day, and set a time limit for yourself on how much you consume (again 30 minutes tops, 2-3 times daily). Keep news and alarming conversations out of earshot from children—they see and hear everything, and can become very frightened by what they hear.

15. Notice the good in the world, the helpers. There is a lot of scary, negative, and overwhelming information to take in regarding this pandemic. There are also a ton of stories of people sacrificing, donating, and supporting one another in miraculous ways. It is important to counter-balance the heavy information with the hopeful information.

16. Help others. Find ways, big and small, to give back to others. Support restaurants, offer to grocery shop, check in with elderly neighbors, write psychological wellness tips for others—helping others gives us a sense of agency when things seem out of control.

17. Find something you can control, and control the heck out of it. In moments of big uncertainty and overwhelm, control your little corner of the world. Organize your bookshelf, purge your closet, put together that furniture, group your toys. It helps to anchor and ground us when the bigger things are chaotic.

18. Find a long-term project to dive into. Now is the time to learn how to play the keyboard, put together a huge jigsaw puzzle, start a 15 hour game of Risk, paint a picture, read the Harry Potter series, binge watch an 8-season show, crochet a blanket, solve a Rubix cube, or develop a new town in Animal Crossing. Find something that will keep you busy, distracted, and engaged to take breaks from what is going on in the outside world.

19. Engage in repetitive movements and left-right movements. Research has shown that repetitive movement (knitting, coloring, painting, clay sculpting, jump roping etc) especially left-right movement (running, drumming, skating, hopping) can be effective at self-soothing and maintaining self-regulation in moments of distress.

20. Find an expressive art and go for it. Our emotional brain is very receptive to the creative arts, and it is a direct portal for release of feeling. Find something that is creative (sculpting, drawing, dancing, music, singing, playing) and give it your all. See how relieved you can feel. It is a very effective way of helping kids to emote and communicate as well!

21. Find lightness and humor in each day. There is a lot to be worried about, and with good reason. Counterbalance this heaviness with something funny each day: cat videos on YouTube, a stand-up show on Netflix, a funny movie—we all need a little comedic relief in our day, every day.

22. Reach out for help—your team is there for you. If you have a therapist or psychiatrist, they are available to you, even at a distance. Keep up your medications and your therapy sessions the best you can. If you are having difficulty coping, seek out help for the first time. There are mental health people on the ready to help you through this crisis. Your children’s teachers and related service providers will do anything within their power to help, especially for those parents tasked with the difficult task of being a whole treatment team to their child with special challenges. Seek support groups of fellow home-schoolers, parents, and neighbors to feel connected. There is help and support out there, any time of the day—although we are physically distant, we can always connect virtually.

23. “Chunk” your quarantine, take it moment by moment. We have no road map for this. We don’t know what this will look like in 1 day, 1 week, or 1 month from now. Often, when I work with patients who have anxiety around overwhelming issues, I suggest that they engage in a strategy called “chunking”—focusing on whatever bite-sized piece of a challenge that feels manageable. Whether that be 5 minutes, a day, or a week at a time—find what feels doable for you, and set a time stamp for how far ahead in the future you will let yourself worry. Take each chunk one at a time, and move through stress in pieces.

24. Remind yourself daily that this is temporary. It seems in the midst of this quarantine that it will never end. It is terrifying to think of the road stretching ahead of us. Please take time to remind yourself that although this is very scary and difficult, and will go on for an undetermined amount of time, it is a season of life and it will pass. We will return to feeing free, safe, busy, and connected in the days ahead.

25. Find the lesson. This whole crisis can seem sad, senseless, and at times, avoidable. When psychologists work with trauma, a key feature to helping someone work through said trauma is to help them find their agency, the potential positive outcomes they can effect, the meaning and construction that can come out of destruction. What can each of us learn here, in big and small ways, from this crisis? What needs to change in ourselves, our homes, our communities, our nation, and our world?

[onekidanddone]

 

Needed to use up the cream cheese and we didn’t have lox. 

[clueliss]

I took a mental health drive today.  

[Audrey2]

Here is my contribution- Conga Lime Pork. The slaw is broccoli slaw, a chopped mango, and the juice of a lime. The slaw started out on top, but I decided it was even yummier when I stirred it in.

[fraurosena]

With my back on the mend at last, I decided it was high time to bake some apple pie today. I've finally managed to nail the texture of the vegan dough. The menfolk gave it a big thumbs up, as you can see by the fact that they've already eaten half!

[47of74]

2 hours ago, clueliss said:

I took a mental health drive today.  

I do mental health solo bike rides out in the country where there's not much traffic even in normal times now that the weather is finally getting warmer.  Usually it's from my home but there have been a couple instances where I took my vehicle out and parked it so I could ride without having to do too much on four lane roads or busier two lane roads/streets.

All this talk about gloves and the like brought a memory to mind.  When I was in computer operations about ten years ago we had box of exam style rubber gloves for when we had to change out printer ribbons on the big dot matrix printers we used to run the big ass green bar reports.  These were usually several hundred pages long.  Changing out the ribbons or doing other work on the printers could be a messy job since it was so easy to get ink on one's fingers - so we used exam gloves.  I remember how I used to adjust and snap the gloves like I was going to give the printer a certain kind of examination.  Memory of it  just made me chuckle a bit. 

I wonder if they even print out to green bar anymore.  We were printing out very little when I left the job as we had gone to putting all the printouts in electronic format and people could print them on their own if they wanted (and use their own supplies instead of ours).  When I started we'd go through a box of paper every couple days, when we were done it was more like once every half year.

[ADoyle90815]

I've gone for a couple of mental health drives down the coast, and mostly walking or bike riding in my neighborhood. Since the CDC and local officials are recommending face coverings, I've been making some cloth masks to wear.

[thoughtful]

This is therapeutic.

 

As someone who tries to involve my pets in my activities, I especially liked this 'cellist:

Spoiler

No chorus for this performance, but here is the text (I know, this melody has had a lot of words, but these are the ones from Schiller that Beethoven was thinking when he composed the tune):

Freude, schöner Götterfunken,
Tochter aus Elisium,
Wir betreten feuertrunken,
Himmlische, dein Heiligthum.
Deine Zauber binden wieder,
Was die Mode streng getheilt,
Alle Menschen werden Brüder,
Wo Dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

 

Joy, beautiful sparkle of God,
Daughter of Elysium,
We enter, fire-drunk,
Heavenly, your holy sanctuary.
Your magics bind again
What custom has strictly parted.
All men become brothers
Where your tender wing lingers.

Edited April 5, 2020 by thoughtful
riffle

[viii]

9 hours ago, clueliss said:

I took a mental health drive today.  

I plan on doing that tomorrow. I’ve got to get out of the house. 

I like all the tips for people but so few articles are aimed towards those who live alone ?

[onekidanddone]

Coping through music 

https://youtu.be/UxsdKrfnM7M

[thoughtful]

It's only once a week, but voting in the Spoonflower design challenges can bring some beauty and fun into your life. Here is this week's:

https://www.spoonflower.com/design-challenge/papercut-napkins

 

[47of74]

I'm a member of the local camera club and send pictures in to be judged.  I had to bail on their online meeting a bit early cause it was starting to become a lets talk about COVID-19 instead of photography.  At that point I was like nah I'm out.  Yeah I get how serious it all is but it invades enough of my time as it is right now. 

[singsingsing]

Stardew Valley is getting me through this pandemic. It’s the loveliest game! I highly recommend it to everyone. It seems so simple at first, but is has so much depth! And it’s very low pressure, you can basically do whatever you want in the game and take as long as you want to do it. I’m greatly enjoying escaping to my little virtual world where I can go fishing, grow crops, raise chickens, and make friends with the townspeople.