Gwen Shamblin Lara 12: Gwen says something I can't understand.

[formergothardite]

5 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

The ads about the tour have been on the devotionals page for weeks now so there is no reason that she couldn't have plugged the tour earlier except she couldn't be bothered to.

I wonder if she is plugging it now because no one has shown interest in her ads and she is worried her tour will be a flop. 

[throwaway9988]

Just stay in nashville, why must you spread this insanity...I want to slap an export tax on Remnant.

Although Im pretty sure a lot of the people who attend these things arejust groupies who travel from Nashville with Gwen and make a big weird party out of it. 

Edited March 1, 2020 by throwaway9988

[RFsurvivor]

4 hours ago, formergothardite said:

This week's video has exciting news.

Guys! Gwen has gotten herself a bus and is going on a tour! Gwen will be stopping at McDonalds just like people did in Bible times! It is a mission of love and joy! 

Gwen admits that people used to sell all their possessions and travel telling others about God. Gwen does not seem to be copying this. Her worldly possessions are staying with her. 

And she sounds so much like Bill Gothard in parts of this. He was constantly talking about how ATI students were so godly that everywhere they went people commented on how amazing they were. Gwen says the same thing happens when groups of RF people are out and about. 

Jesus asked the rich young ruler to sell everything, Gwen is just asking you to come hang out with her and RF. I suspect FJ members are not invited. 

Gwen says to take time off from work because this is short notice to come visit her. Why exactly is she suddenly going on tour with almost no notice? She is only going to two places too so why get a huge bus with tour written on it to go to two towns in America? 

The outtakes have Joe saying that he was late because the president called to talk about Gwen. I don't think Gwen's Trump's type. 

I for real hope she drives through NC and I can spot her crazy hair in person. She is going to Atlanta, GA and Destin, Fl. in a couple weeks. 

 

Technically we are all invited since she posted it on a public website...so if you reallllly want to go. 

11 minutes ago, throwaway9988 said:

Just stay in nashville, why must you spread this insanity...I want to slap an export tax on Remnant.

Although Im pretty sure a lot of the people who attend these things arejust groupies who travel from Nashville with Gwen and make a big weird party out of it. 

When they did these events in the past, this was basically what I remember. It was maybe 80-90% current Remnant Members and very few non-remnant/non-weigh down attendees.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Soooooo ..... Gwen is taking a big busload of RF people through Atlanta to Destin.  Conveniently she could go through ATL on the way to her huge OTT seaside mega McMansion in Destin.

The place where she "pilgriamges" with RF royalty/ insiders several times a year. But the bus/trip/all expenses count as a tax write-off work trip because it's not a road trip to her vacay home, it a religious 'revival' tour to convert the ones still eating.

Props to the corp accountant who came up with this.  It's sleazy, but probably legal.  

[AmazonGrace]

I am testing Gwen's theory (I wasn't meaning to, the day just worked out like that) and it's been about 29 hours since I last ate a proper meal.  Since then I've had a cup of coffee with oat milk and a basil leaf that fell off the basil plant on its own (I took that as a sign from God I was meant to eat it). I heard some growling about two hours ago but it was quite pitiful and nowhere near the hunger pains that Gwen advocates so I didn't eat immediately (I would have  to cook first) and it passed in a minute or two so I never got around to cooking.

So far I am not feeling any better than normal and I'm not any thinner either.

But somehow I have to go pee just as often as usually.

 I did sin and went grocery shopping and planning for future feeding occasions while not hungry.

[AmazonGrace]

Okay so I finally got around to eating some toasted breadrolls with cheese and Greek salad. No growl  but it was time and it would have  seemed stupid not to eat. 

The hungriest I felt about 20 minutes after I had finished eating.

This theory is so dumb and has nothing to do with healthy diets.

[Blue]

4 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Soooooo ..... Gwen is taking a big busload of RF people through Atlanta to Destin.  Conveniently she could go through ATL on the way to her huge OTT seaside mega McMansion in Destin.

The place where she "pilgriamges" with RF royalty/ insiders several times a year. But the bus/trip/all expenses count as a tax write-off work trip because it's not a road trip to her vacay home, it a religious 'revival' tour to convert the ones still eating.

Props to the corp accountant who came up with this.  It's sleazy, but probably legal.  

As I was reading about her bus tour I was literally thinking "Good Lord this woman's head has grown if she thinks she's popular enough for a bus tour!" Then I read only 2 cities... not much of a tour... then I saw the Destin, FL part. 

I think your comment is spot on. Now they can take a massive RF trip to Destin, where they were going anyway, for free... Gwen can use church funds because it's religious, as opposed to her own funds...

[Conundrum]

On 2/25/2020 at 6:50 AM, dawbs said:

Ah, B

The dreaded 'verbal tip'.

Worst thing about being paid in tips is getting a compliment and having to grit teeth and say thanks, knowing that the person feels a compliment shaves 5% off the required tip

(Ok, not worst thing, just an annoying thing)

Can I compliment your hair and still leave a nice tip?

Seriously, my best friend and I meet for lunch once a month. We only order appetizers so our bill is about $20. We both pull a $20 bill out and the server gets to keep the $20 tip. We sit at the table at least an hour and don't think a $4 tip is sufficient. 

[AmazonGrace]

Today we learn that we are all binge eaters who secretly make ourselves sick and buy  clothes that don't fit.

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32002-gwen-shamblin-5-she-is-a-shit-writer/?do=findComment&comment=1723904

We think Gwen is using the royal we until proven otherwise.  

[throwaway9988]

T-shirt idea (fill in the blank): 

“I went on vacation with Gwen Shamblin and all I got was ________!”

[AmazonGrace]

He can't remember what he got

Spoiler

 

[formergothardite]

1 hour ago, throwaway9988 said:

T-shirt idea (fill in the blank): 

“I went on vacation with Gwen Shamblin and all I got was ________!”

Hungry. 

[NarcissismKills]

2 hours ago, throwaway9988 said:

T-shirt idea (fill in the blank): 

“I went on vacation with Gwen Shamblin and all I got was ________!”

a pre-licked chip

[SuperNova]

4 hours ago, throwaway9988 said:

T-shirt idea (fill in the blank): 

“I went on vacation with Gwen Shamblin and all I got was ________!”

A secret gas station hot dog

[AmazonGrace]

The episode in which Gwen invents several new awkwardly worded feelings. She claims humility is expecting nothing from anybody and remembering the world gets rice for every meal. Meanwhile she's living in her luxury mansion and lacka nothing materialistic.

There is no point smoking because you will want another cigarette soon. There is no point eating because you will eventually get hungry again. There is no point loving because love always ends. There is no point getting intoxicated because you will eventually sober up again.  No point having sex because the feeling won't last and you'll want to have sex again later.

 

Her argument makes no sense because you will eventually be hungry again, even if you claim to get your food from God.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

4 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

There is no point smoking because you will want another cigarette soon. There is no point eating because you will eventually get hungry again. There is no point loving because love always ends. There is no point getting intoxicated because you will eventually sober up again.  No point having sex because the feeling won't last and you'll want to have sex again later.

Worst motivational speech.  Ever.

[throwaway9988]

Everything is meaningless, there is nothing new under the sun, so let’s all eat half portions of junk food because it tastes the best, except taste is meaningless pleasure since we will all get hungry again soon anyway, and regardless nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels, but being skinny is meaningless since our earthly bodies are just prisons for our eternal souls, so let’s focus on having skinny souls for god, or would fat souls be a better analogy since we want our souls to be powerful warriors? What was I saying again? Oh well, fuck it. Joe, pack your leash and extra botox syringes, we’re going on vacation!
 

Edited March 4, 2020 by throwaway9988

[Xan]

I am watching the latest "Life with Gwen and Joe" and they're talking about "Weigh Down on Tour".  She just said they'd be stopping at restaurants "just like the early Christians did" and "get refreshed -- get something to eat".  Honest to God.  Did I miss something in the Bible where Jesus and the disciples stopped their bus and went into Denny's??  And Joe adds that "if Jesus were alive today, he'd be telling us to do what we're about to do"  and Gwen says, "He's join us!"  Yeah.  Jesus loved a fun road trip to the beach.  Gwen talks about how the RF people are very "upright" and repeats it several times.  Okay.  I'm glad they're standing instead of crawling around, Gwenny.

Joe talks about Jesus telling a man to give up everything he owned to follow Him.  Gwen remarks: "I know. So cool."

Gwen:  "God's the one who created travel."

Honestly, I think their videos are getting funnier.

Edited March 4, 2020 by Xan

[RFSurvivor_2]

11 hours ago, Xan said:

I am watching the latest "Life with Gwen and Joe" and they're talking about "Weigh Down on Tour".  She just said they'd be stopping at restaurants "just like the early Christians did" and "get refreshed -- get something to eat".  Honest to God.  Did I miss something in the Bible where Jesus and the disciples stopped their bus and went into Denny's??  And Joe adds that "if Jesus were alive today, he'd be telling us to do what we're about to do"  and Gwen says, "He's join us!"  Yeah.  Jesus loved a fun road trip to the beach.  Gwen talks about how the RF people are very "upright" and repeats it several times.  Okay.  I'm glad they're standing instead of crawling around, Gwenny.

Joe talks about Jesus telling a man to give up everything he owned to follow Him.  Gwen remarks: "I know. So cool."

Gwen:  "God's the one who created travel."

Honestly, I think their videos are getting funnier.

Jesus with the Grand Slam Breakfast ?

[AmazonGrace]

 

The world leaves you hungry and needy but if you join Remnant and give Gwen all your money she will cure your panic disorder and God will grant all of your wishes because that  is how God rolls. You will never be hungry and needy again, except all those times that you're so hungry it hurts and need God to pick your clothes in the morning.

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32002-gwen-shamblin-5-she-is-a-shit-writer/?do=findComment&comment=1724962

 

[AmazonGrace]

Thus sayeth Gwod: If thou desirest to eat thou shouldst go read random Bible verses.

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32002-gwen-shamblin-5-she-is-a-shit-writer/?do=findComment&comment=1725309

So I did and now I am more confused than ever.

(I do not actually believe that these are completely random because when I refreshed the page several times the same ones kept coming up more often than they should in a random selection from the whole universe of Bible verses. Somebody selected a list of quotes they like. )

 

Do not eat: 

Spoiler

Spoiler

Don't worry about eating:

Spoiler

 

 

 

You can eat all sorts of things:

Spoiler

Do not work for your food:

Spoiler

 

I can't eat because I talk too much:

Spoiler

It's almost as if getting fed is a good thing: 

Spoiler

 

We talk an awful lot about bread :

Spoiler

Hey, you should eat something good and drink sweetened drinks: 

Spoiler

 

 

Devote yourself to prayer and carbs: 

Spoiler

 

 

Edited March 5, 2020 by laPapessaGiovanna
Edited out images as requested by the poster

[SuperNova]

37 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

Thus sayeth Gwod: If thou desirest to eat thou shouldst go read random Bible verses.

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32002-gwen-shamblin-5-she-is-a-shit-writer/?do=findComment&comment=1725309

So I did and now I am more confused than ever.

(I do not actually believe that these are completely random because when I refreshed the page several times the same ones kept coming up more often than they should in a random selection from the whole universe of Bible verses. Somebody selected a list of quotes they like. )

 

Do not eat: 

  Reveal hidden contents

  Reveal hidden contents

Don't worry about eating:

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

 

You can eat all sorts of things:

  Reveal hidden contents

Do not work for your food:

  Reveal hidden contents

 

I can't eat because I talk too much:

  Reveal hidden contents

It's almost as if getting fed is a good thing: 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

We talk an awful lot about bread :

  Reveal hidden contents

Hey, you should eat something good and drink sweetened drinks: 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

Devote yourself to prayer and carbs: 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is a good example of why it's possible to cherry pick and make it say what you want. It's almost as if the bible was a messy collection of contradictions and arbitrary rules written by Bronze Age men rather than the divine word of an omniscient god.

[AmazonGrace]

WeighDown for the hardcore:

Spoiler

Do not eat bread, do not drink water: 

Spoiler

Eat blessed food:

Spoiler

being unable to eat is a happy thing:

Spoiler

Being unable to eat is a sad thing:

Spoiler

 

You don't need to eat or drink ever again: 

Spoiler

It is appropriate to eat and drink (BTW  the link to the source can be seen here):

Spoiler

 

 

Eating and drinking glorifies God:

Spoiler

 Nobody cares whether you eat or not: 

 

Spoiler

 

  

  All you need is food and clothes:

Spoiler

Eat with a special guest:

Spoiler

  

 

Drink wine only with a straw, (and thou shalt not moisturize.):

 

Spoiler

God approves of drinking wine:

Spoiler

Do not toss breadcrumbs, they can be used for croutons:

Spoiler

 

 

 

 

Edited March 5, 2020 by laPapessaGiovanna
Fixed images as requested by poster

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Any mention by Gwod and/or RF about the Nashville tornado? 

Did it happen because Nashville/Cookeville people aren't gwodly enough and were eating?

Was Brentwood/RF spared because they are gwodly and don't eat? 

Inquiring minds want to know

Edited March 6, 2020 by Red Hair, Black Dress

[AmazonGrace]

Today we learn that chocolate and the Bible are interchangeable, that Gwen is very godly, and quote the same verse as yesterday. Apparently God fills my mouth - with chocolate rather than sand, I hope. 

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32002-gwen-shamblin-5-she-is-a-shit-writer/?do=findComment&comment=1725682

 

9 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Any mention by Gwod and/or RF about the Nashville tornado? 

Did it happen because Nashville/Cookeville people aren't gwodly enough and were eating?

Was Brentwood/RF spared because they are gwodly and don't eat? 

Inquiring minds want to know

On FB:

A devastating tornado hit Nashville - tearing thru 50 miles. Please stay in prayer for all those affected. Time is short. May we all seek God more with everything!