Chelsy and John Maxwell 8: Killing Demons with a Salt Gun

[JermajestyDuggar]

18 minutes ago, Caroline said:

Sorry!  It was posted on the Bontrager thread many hours ago.  I was working most of the day (only one more week of remote teaching!) and didn't see it.  She seemed to desperately long to be married, so good for her but......

It makes me sad that getting married seems to be the one and only goal of these people.  I wanted so much more and was allowed to get a good higher education and work for whatever I wanted.  And I met my husband along the way doing the same things I was doing.  But I think I would not have been waiting for the rest of my life for Mr. Right because I would have made my own happiness.  

The crazy thing is, she does have a job at her family inn. And she seems to like it. But she holds marriage and making babies on such a high pedistal that her job couldn’t even compare. And she won’t be able to have a job once she’s married unless she’s in a “family business” with her husband. 

[fundiefan]

12 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

The crazy thing is, she does have a job at her family inn. And she seems to like it. But she holds marriage and making babies on such a high pedistal that her job couldn’t even compare. And she won’t be able to have a job once she’s married unless she’s in a “family business” with her husband. 

Ten to nothin' she already quit that job to "focus on wedding planning". I mean, how can one plan a wedding while working?  If Chelsy couldn't do it, you know Allison can't. Except for 'training' her younger siblings how to do her jobs. 

[NancyDrewFan1989]

On 6/3/2020 at 9:37 AM, fundiefan said:

Ten to nothin' she already quit that job to "focus on wedding planning". I mean, how can one plan a wedding while working?  If Chelsy couldn't do it, you know Allison can't. Except for 'training' her younger siblings how to do her jobs. 

I have a feeling Allison started planning her wedding shortly after she realized that she and Jeremiah were going to be married pre-engagement. Plus, Allison really wants to leave her singleness behind her.

[deborahlynn1979]

Allison started planning her wedding from the womb.

[Smash!]

No, the job at the Inn she seemed to love so much got to her brother Mitchell and his new wife once he got married. After that her only goal was understandably to get married because one got the impression she hated touring with her family and that was the only option to get out.

[NancyDrewFan1989]

16 hours ago, Smash! said:

No, the job at the Inn she seemed to love so much got to her brother Mitchell and his new wife once he got married. After that her only goal was understandably to get married because one got the impression she hated touring with her family and that was the only option to get out.

Allison did really love working and living at the inn. I really felt bad for her when she lost it to her Mitch when he got married. I feel like she got tired of touring with the family after her siblings got married in 2017 and started new chapters in their lives. I believe that if four of her siblings didn't get married in a three month span at the end of 2017 and spread out a bit then she wouldn't have been so miserable. She is really close to Chelsy and Mitch, so the two of them getting married and leaving the band within three months probably got to her.

[Lgirlrocks]

Seems like chelsy will be having another birth without her family being there. That must suck for her. I know that I would want my mom near by if I was having a baby. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

7 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

Seems like chelsy will be having another birth without her family being there. That must suck for her. I know that I would want my mom near by if I was having a baby. 

I think the Bons are taught at a very young age that they are to suck it up and deal. I doubt Chelsy expects her parents to ever be there for any birth. 

[usmcmom]

6 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

Seems like chelsy will be having another birth without her family being there. That must suck for her. I know that I would want my mom near by if I was having a baby. 

Becky certainly ism’t very involved in her adult kids’ lives, is she? 

Considering that marriage and motherhood are THE defining things in a young woman’s life, according to Fundies, you’d think older women would want to be more available...more helpful...to them. It makes me sad that Becky doesn’t even appear to TRY being nearby for the births of her grandkids. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

Becky certainly ism’t very involved in her adult kids’ lives, is she? 

Considering that marriage and motherhood are THE defining things in a young woman’s life, according to Fundies, you’d think older women would want to be more available...more helpful...to them. It makes me sad that Becky doesn’t even appear to TRY being nearby for the births of her grandkids. 

Becky seems really cold to me. I doubt her kids feel super close to her. No wonder the Bon girls worship the penis. They seem to love their grandmothers more than their own mother. 

[PennySycamore]

2 hours ago, usmcmom said:

Becky certainly ism’t very involved in her adult kids’ lives, is she? 

Considering that marriage and motherhood are THE defining things in a young woman’s life, according to Fundies, you’d think older women would want to be more available...more helpful...to them. It makes me sad that Becky doesn’t even appear to TRY being nearby for the births of her grandkids. 

I've been with two of my daughters -or at least at their home taking care of the older kids- when they gave birth.  I was at the hospital with both Theresa and Shannon when they had their first (in T's case , her only) and stayed with the older kid(s) when Shannon had her younger two.  My oldest daughter's daughters were adopted as toddlers so, yeah, I wasn't there for when they were born, but then, neither was Mary.  I was privileged to help out my daughters at that time.  

[NancyDrewFan1989]

4 hours ago, usmcmom said:

Becky certainly ism’t very involved in her adult kids’ lives, is she? 

Considering that marriage and motherhood are THE defining things in a young woman’s life, according to Fundies, you’d think older women would want to be more available...more helpful...to them. It makes me sad that Becky doesn’t even appear to TRY being nearby for the births of her grandkids. 

I have a feeling this has more to do with the Bontrager's traveling schedule and Marlin's rules. Becky still has to follow the rules that Marlin has set out for her as he is her headship according to fundie tradition. Becky may want to be closer for the birth of her grandchildren, but Marlin might override her saying sorry we have a concert to do or something like that.

In her defense for John and Chelsy they do live quite a drive away and pregnancy can be unpredictable (only word I can think of) at the end. Chelsy could have the baby late or early, so Becky may not be able to drop what she is doing and drive six hours to Kansas or fly from where she is.

Also, it seems like Mitchell and Bryn and Carson and Lina want to live quiet lives outside of the spotlight. The Bontragers have garnered quite a fundie fan base since appearing on 19 Kids and Counting years ago. The two couples may be asking the family to let them do minimal updates on their lives and not feature them as much on their blog as they used to. 

[usmcmom]

7 minutes ago, NancyDrewFan1989 said:

In her defense for John and Chelsy they do live quite a drive away and pregnancy can be unpredictable (only word I can think of) at the end. Chelsy could have the baby late or early, so Becky may not be able to drop what she is doing and drive six hours to Kansas or fly from where she is.

 

I should have been more clear. I do understand being unable to be present for the birth. What surprises me is that Becky did not make plans to get to Kansas ASAP after Axton was born. Maybe she did? I don’t remember when she met the baby but it seems like it took a while. Having my mother around AFTER delivering was so SO helpful each time. Chelsy’s in-laws were probably really helpful, but having ones own mother around is often so much nicer. 
 

I wonder - would Becky criticize a “career woman” for being unavailable to her family, while letting a concert schedule keep her from her own? 

[SPHASH]

12 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

Chelsy’s in-laws were probably really helpful, but having ones own mother around is often so much nicer. 
 

 

I dunno.  Having either Teri and the spinster sisters or Becky Bontrager is like having to choose between diarrhea and vomiting.

[JermajestyDuggar]

15 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

I should have been more clear. I do understand being unable to be present for the birth. What surprises me is that Becky did not make plans to get to Kansas ASAP after Axton was born. Maybe she did? I don’t remember when she met the baby but it seems like it took a while. Having my mother around AFTER delivering was so SO helpful each time. Chelsy’s in-laws were probably really helpful, but having ones own mother around is often so much nicer. 
 

I wonder - would Becky criticize a “career woman” for being unavailable to her family, while letting a concert schedule keep her from her own? 

It was awhile before they all met Axton. They were on tour at the time and none of them met him until the tour was over. Which was at least a month after Axton was born. Which is very different from the Bowers family. The Bowers mother was at the births of the first two grandchildren. 

[Jigsaw3]

I definitely got the impression it was really hard on Allison Bontrager not to be there right away to meet her newest nephew (in fact, to meet all of her nieces and nephews, but especially to be there for her best friend and favourite sister, to meet Chelsy's kid, and to support her after the birth.) I expect that was part of Allison's dissatisfaction with the touring over the last year or so. Allison will also probably be unhappy about not being able to support Chelsy this time as well.

Chelsy's birth timing means that it'll be hard for Chelsy to help Allison with her wedding and planning the way both women would probably like. I wonder if Chelsy will drive six hours down to Kansas in a pandemic for a shower with a toddler and a newborn? I'm sure Chelsy will be at the wedding, as she's almost certainly matron of honour.  But at least Chelsy's inability to help is for happy reasons -- an infant -- not Marlin's inflexible touring schedule, and both sisters will probably handle it with grace.

[NancyDrewFan1989]

2 hours ago, usmcmom said:

I should have been more clear. I do understand being unable to be present for the birth. What surprises me is that Becky did not make plans to get to Kansas ASAP after Axton was born. Maybe she did? I don’t remember when she met the baby but it seems like it took a while. Having my mother around AFTER delivering was so SO helpful each time. Chelsy’s in-laws were probably really helpful, but having ones own mother around is often so much nicer. 
 

I wonder - would Becky criticize a “career woman” for being unavailable to her family, while letting a concert schedule keep her from her own? 

I believe she met Axton a few weeks after he was born. I don't think she took off to see Axton right away partly due to Marlin's headship and work on the farm with having to care for animals by making sure they don't get frostbite and make sure they are warm and well fed. I do see Becky wanting to take off to see Chelsy, but if Marlin told her no, then she wouldn't have gone. 

Plus, in the fundie culture once you are married and moved out you are "on your own." Yes, you are still part of the family. But, you are not under your father's headship any more. Like Chelsy is under John's and Carson, Mitchell, and Josh are their own headship over Lina, Bryn, and Cass, not Marlins. So, Becky leaving the concert to go see one of her grandchildren post birth would be leaving her children and who are still under Marlin's headship and neglecting her Godly duties as a wife and mother for a child who is no longer under his headship. In other words, it would be heavily frowned upon if she disobeyed Marlin and was unavailable for the children who still live at home by going off to see Chelsy and Axton. Plus, she and the rest of the family didn't meet Jubilee (Carson and Lina's daughter) and Wallace (Josh and Cass's eldest son) right away because they were just finishing up their tour. All in all Marlin has the final say on whether or not Becky would have gone to Kansas right away. 

[ElizaB]

i think it is also a bit different in that she wasn't necessarily needed. When Chelsy gives birth she will have John's family nearby. As much as I dislike the Maxwells I will say that they really do jump in when needed to help each other out. Lina and Cass had their mom come and Bryn's family lives nearby so I'm sure they have plenty of help. So her going right away would have been more out of a desire to see the baby than the fact that she was really needed. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

It’s funny because my family is not fundie yet they were on the fucking edge of their seats when I gave birth. They wanted to see the baby ASAP. I couldn’t keep them away from the hospital if I tried! My second kid came so fast in the middle of the night that my siblings and dad and stepmom had no clue I was even in labor. They just got a call that the baby was born already and they hauled ass over to the hospital. 

[Deanie]

Chelsy has a new blog post up about the wedding and their road trip there.  They have put Axton in a front facing seat because be had 'outgrown' his infant one as his legs had reached the end of it.  Fyi Chelsy your child outgrows their seat  by weight or when their head is over the top- not by their legs.  And a child who is forward facing at 2 or under is 5 times more likey to die or face serious injury in a side or front impact car crash (60-80% of accidents) than one who is rear facing.  Why do they show such blatant disregard for scientific safety advice or are they just seriously ignorant??

[Granwych]

On 6/11/2020 at 5:03 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

It was awhile before they all met Axton. They were on tour at the time and none of them met him until the tour was over. Which was at least a month after Axton was born. Which is very different from the Bowers family. The Bowers mother was at the births of the first two grandchildren. 

Grampwych and I accompanied Wychling to nearly every dr appt , sonogram, and non stress test she went to.  We were also at the hospital for Grandwychlings birth and at their home for the first 6 weeks afterwards.

i guess it worked to everyone’s advantage that Gramp and I aren’t members of a musical family.  That time with Grandwychling and his folks was some of the best days of my life.

[LurkerOverThePond]

On 6/11/2020 at 11:46 PM, usmcmom said:

I wonder - would Becky criticize a “career woman” for being unavailable to her family, while letting a concert schedule keep her from her own? 

This is a really good question. I'm sure these fundie women don't see their "ministry" as a career while at the same time they are condemning working women/mothers. Michelle Duggar did have a career as a public speaker, as does Kelly Bates. Teri Maxwell toured the country lecturing at their so called conferences. Etc.

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, LurkerOverThePond said:

This is a really good question. I'm sure these fundie women don't see their "ministry" as a career while at the same time they are condemning working women/mothers. Michelle Duggar did have a career as a public speaker, as does Kelly Bates. Teri Maxwell toured the country lecturing at their so called conferences. Etc.

Many of these women are much more than just stay at home moms who homeschool. It’s hard for me to think of that many that always did just that and nothing else. Writing books, going on tour, giving talks, and of course selling mlms. I hate counting mlms because the hardly make anyone money. But they’ve sure made Shoshanna Pearl lots of money. 

[VBOY9977]

Chelsy posted this comment yesterday confirming her due date is today. I don’t get what she means by “I don’t think I’m going to make that”. Does she mean that she thinks she’ll go past her due date, or that she already gave birth/is in labor so she won’t make it to her due date? That smiley face makes me thing she’s being sneaky about it, but idk I’m confused 

 

Edited June 15, 2020 by VBOY9977

[JermajestyDuggar]

25 minutes ago, VBOY9977 said:

Chelsy posted this comment yesterday confirming her due date is today. I don’t get what she means by “I don’t think I’m going to make that”. Does she mean that she thinks she’ll go past her due date, or that she already gave birth/is in labor so she won’t make it to her due date? That smiley face makes me thing she’s being sneaky about it, but idk I’m confused 

 

Maybe she thinks she will go overdue.