Chelsy and John Maxwell 8: Killing Demons with a Salt Gun

[NancyDrewFan1989]

40 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

My grandparents were raised in a horrible way and didn't repeated that (and they did not read any book about education).

I know people who were mistreated or saw how their siblings were mistreated, and KNEW is was wrong. Even being little kids then, they knew. Of course I understand that isolation makes it much more difficult, because you cannot compare to others, not even en TV.

It is true that the way you are raised affects your views and some people do not know better. But usually the extremely strict parents are people who have issues with control. Bontragers are very "dark" and cold in my opinion. Just a feeling.

I see what you mean. I'm just saying that both John and Chelsy were isolated from the outside world. Whenever Teri Maxwell or Becky Bontrager do a parenting post it makes me cringe inside. Becky wrote about how shy children are mean, while Teri writes about getting them trained on a schedule. The way John and Chelsy were raised, probably, stunted their parenting knowledge (so to say). 

8 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Especially since the Bontragers were raised Mennonite/Amish and then left that behind. They get to be different from their parents and are still accepted by their parents. But I don’t think Chelsy would be all that accepted if she decided to live differently than her parents. 

I think Chelsy would be accepted by the Bontragers. In a thread on FJ, a member revealed that they had met the family at a wedding where the couple didn't practice Christianity like the family. This person stated that the family was nice and very accepting of the family. Plus, Becky was raised Mennonite and the community welcomes them back with open arms every time they go. So, I don't think they would shun her.

[JermajestyDuggar]

20 minutes ago, NancyDrewFan1989 said:

So, I don't think they would shun her.

I never said shun. Most fundies don’t shun and actually Amish don’t totally shun unless the person was baptized in the church as an adult and then left. And even then, some still don’t totally shun. I said accepted. Which could mean that every time they are visiting with their family, they are passive aggressively shamed or guilted for doing things their parents don’t approve of. They could be invited to all the family gatherings and still not be accepted. I think fundies are good at being nice to the faces of people they disagree with. Likely because they think they will eventually give in and live the only way they think is acceptable. Fundies know that shunning just makes them look bad. But guilt tripping is much more acceptable in their groups.  

[mango_fandango]

I don’t remember being forced to eat stuff as a kid. I used to be fairly fussy, at one point all I ever wanted to eat for dinner was “red pasta” (tomato sauce) or “green pasta” (pesto). Occasionally I had both tomato and pesto sauce, haha. I didn’t even like chicken as a little kid (not sure about nuggets). I remember the moment when I realised that I liked ham (the thick-cut, salty gammon type, although the thinly-sliced packaged stuff you put in sandwiches is nice too). I have ASD, we can have fairly conservative palates. I was much worse when I was younger, I eat quite a lot of stuff now. (Raw tomatoes, though... nope. Ketchup/pasta sauce/tomato soup, hell yeah). I still love pasta. I can’t see me ever not liking it 

 

[NancyDrewFan1989]

6 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I never said shun. Most fundies don’t shun and actually Amish don’t totally shun unless the person was baptized in the church as an adult and then left. And even then, some still don’t totally shun. I said accepted. Which could mean that every time they are visiting with their family, they are passive aggressively shamed or guilted for doing things their parents don’t approve of. They could be invited to all the family gatherings and still not be accepted. I think fundies are good at being nice to the faces of people they disagree with. Likely because they think they will eventually give in and live the only way they think is acceptable. Fundies know that shunning just makes them look bad. But guilt tripping is much more acceptable in their groups.  

Oh got it, sorry for the misunderstanding.

[IsmeWeatherwax]

I was force fed. I vividly remember my Father forcing my jaw open and shoving in soft boiled egg. I was 3 and Im now 42, I still cant even look at pictures of runny eggs without gagging. None of my 4 kids were force fed and I have the fussiest kids in Christendom lol.

[JanasTattooParlor]

4 hours ago, IsmeWeatherwax said:

I was force fed. I vividly remember my Father forcing my jaw open and shoving in soft boiled egg. I was 3 and Im now 42, I still cant even look at pictures of runny eggs without gagging. None of my 4 kids were force fed and I have the fussiest kids in Christendom lol.

I was force fed too. My dad held me down and made me try mac and cheese when I was four and I remember hating the slimy texture of the noodles that it took me a decade to try it again. My mom would also always complain that I never liked the same foods I did when I was two because that’s when I was an “easy” child and not as picky. My dad and stepmom did the same thing. I will to this day never eat green beans or peas because my stepmom insisted that we have a vegetable with every meal and would cook canned peas or green beans til they were mush and then force me to eat them or be grounded. She did it til the day I moved out at 18 and still fusses and makes comments about me not eating them despite the fact that I’m an adult who should be able to make her own decisions about eating. I will never force feed my kids because of how much it made me never want to try new foods. 

[Black Aliss]

On 4/16/2020 at 2:02 PM, NancyDrewFan1989 said:

Eventually, my dad told her that if she didn't like what mom made she was getting a sandwich or a bowl of cereal or oatmeal for dinner. Trust me by that point they had exhausted every option. It worked she started eating dinner and found things that she didn't think she liked that she now enjoys. 

The best advice I received as a new parent was, "Never get into a fight about what goes in or out of their digestive system because you cannot win those fights". So they didn't like what I cooked there was always cold cereal or they could cook an egg for themselves. If they weren't hungry, they didn't have to eat. They still had to keep us company at the dinner table while the rest of us ate. It probably helped that we didn't keep junk food around and they were physically very active so always hungry.

[Jana814]

My mother’s best friend has twin grandsons. One of the was such a picky eater. Their parents never for him to eat either the other one was more adventurous in eating.  They are now 17 & the one who was a picky eater is not anymore.  

[NancyDrewFan1989]

5 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

The best advice I received as a new parent was, "Never get into a fight about what goes in or out of their digestive system because you cannot win those fights". So they didn't like what I cooked there was always cold cereal or they could cook an egg for themselves. If they weren't hungry, they didn't have to eat. They still had to keep us company at the dinner table while the rest of us ate. It probably helped that we didn't keep junk food around and they were physically very active so always hungry.

Eventually, that is why my dad told her sandwich, cereal, and/or oatmeal. My mom would make things that she knew that she liked because she had seen her eat them before. They even went as far as to buy the brands of food our daycare provider and friends to encourage her. It wasn't that they were trying to force her to eat more as they were concerned about it affecting her physical growth. It wasn't just dinner at home, but breakfast and lunch as well. 

[tabitha2]

I liked and ate pretty much everything. The only things I ever refused were canned spinach , liver and Sloppy Joes. Since I inhaled everything else Ma did not put up a fight about the first And just never bought them. My grandparents tried to force Sloppy Joes on me. Told me I would have nothing else till the plate was gone.  I think Grandma just Ate it herself in the end   
 

Still can’t stand Manwich or Chili in general. 

[Lady Grass Lake]

Does anyone know where this picture is from?   I was reading a Facebook post from a friend of my son.  I knew this friend was from a religious family, his father is a pastor of a church, and I know he got married recently, so I was looking up his wife and saw this picture on her site, and see she attended some type of gathering with Chelsea and her sister.   What a small world.  

 

[PennySycamore]

@Lady Grass Lake, is that Cheesy in middle of the bottom row?  I'm surprised, too, that the girl at the right end of the row in the black-and-white print could get away with that outfit.  Almost all of her arm is exposed.  

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, Lady Grass Lake said:

Does anyone know where this picture is from?   I was reading a Facebook post from a friend of my son.  I knew this friend was from a religious family, his father is a pastor of a church, and I know he got married recently, so I was looking up his wife and saw this picture on her site, and see she attended some type of gathering with Chelsea and her sister.   What a small world.  

 

It looks like one of the ladies retreats from a few years ago. 

[Tatar-tot]

If my husband ever tried to force feed on of my children the cops would have been called after I hit him over the head with a frying pan.   Unbelievable.  WTF was your mother doing all this? Cheering him on?  Your parents are sick sick people.  I would never let my kids near them no matter how much they “reformed themselves.”

If my some strange quirk of nature I let him in the house from then I would take my cues from the housekeeper in the Kathy Bates movie which title escapes me.

[Lady Grass Lake]

3 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

@Lady Grass Lake, is that Cheesy in middle of the bottom row?  I'm surprised, too, that the girl at the right end of the row in the black-and-white print could get away with that outfit.  Almost all of her arm is exposed.  

Yes, she's wearing a turquoise t-shirt with black lettering, her sister is behind her in the black flowered dress.   There is a redhead in the back row, 5th from the left, isn't that a Maxwell friend?  

[JanasTattooParlor]

3 hours ago, Tatar-tot said:

If my husband ever tried to force feed on of my children the cops would have been called after I hit him over the head with a frying pan.   Unbelievable.  WTF was your mother doing all this? Cheering him on?  Your parents are sick sick people.  I would never let my kids near them no matter how much they “reformed themselves.”

If my some strange quirk of nature I let him in the house from then I would take my cues from the housekeeper in the Kathy Bates movie which title escapes me.

To be honest, since I was so young I don’t know what my mom was doing but she wasn’t any better. My parents divorced when I was 5 and like I said, my dad continued to force me to eat foods I didn’t like along with my stepmom when I was older. My mom actually would make foods that I liked but I also hated any liquid medicine, still do, and my mom chased me around the house with medicine and would hold me down to give it to me when I was sick and didn’t want to take medicine. She actually took the door off my bedroom when I was 9 because I locked her out because I didn’t want to take medicine. Lucky for me, I am a relatively well adjusted adult who has little to no relationship with any of my parents because of those actions and many many others. I also learned that if I cook it, I’ll actually try new foods and branch out. 

[albireo]

I also spot Rachael Craig in the back.

[NancyDrewFan1989]

On 4/19/2020 at 12:39 PM, Lady Grass Lake said:

Does anyone know where this picture is from?   I was reading a Facebook post from a friend of my son.  I knew this friend was from a religious family, his father is a pastor of a church, and I know he got married recently, so I was looking up his wife and saw this picture on her site, and see she attended some type of gathering with Chelsea and her sister.   What a small world.  

 

I believe this is from one of Allison's first Young Women's Retreats that she has been hosting once or twice a year now. I believe this one was held near the Bontrager's house in Iowa. 

[AliceInFundyland]

On 4/17/2020 at 4:27 PM, mango_fandango said:

I don’t remember being forced to eat stuff as a kid. I used to be fairly fussy, at one point all I ever wanted to eat for dinner was “red pasta” (tomato sauce) or “green pasta” (pesto). Occasionally I had both tomato and pesto sauce, haha. I didn’t even like chicken as a little kid (not sure about nuggets). I remember the moment when I realised that I liked ham (the thick-cut, salty gammon type, although the thinly-sliced packaged stuff you put in sandwiches is nice too). I have ASD, we can have fairly conservative palates. I was much worse when I was younger, I eat quite a lot of stuff now. (Raw tomatoes, though... nope. Ketchup/pasta sauce/tomato soup, hell yeah). I still love pasta. I can’t see me ever not liking it 

 

Oh I'm so with you on raw tomatoes.

My dad made us eat one with each salad. I could deal with most of the rest of the vegetables, but I didn't like salad dressing and, well, yeah, textures.. everything everyone else says.

His whole premise was "you're stronger than the food." He was such a hypocrite. If my mom made any of her recipes slightly different, he'd pitch a fit. If she switched brands, same thing.

There was nothing nutritional to be gained from one piece of raw tomato. I was fine with them in every other form. Salsa to soup. The texture makes me gag.

It remains "weird" to this day to be a vegetarian that mostly rejects salads. I blame those experiences.

[livinglongerthanyou]

The rule my parents had was that we had to at least try different foods. If we didn't like it, we weren't required to eat it. There is very little that I don't like, but one food that makes me gag is oatmeal. 

When I was 5 I had my tonsils out and back then it meant a couple of nights in the hospital. One of the nurses on the ward was terrible and had no business being with children. Well, she tried to force feed me oatmeal the day before the surgery. I fought her like a tiger - punching, kicking, biting. When my dad showed up to visit she stalked over to him to bitch about how wild I was. He asked her if I had made it clear I didn't like oatmeal before the attempt at force feeding and she replied that I had. My dad then said, "Then I don't see what the problem is. My daughter was defending herself." LOL My dad said her jaw about hit the floor. 

[PennySycamore]

@livinglongerthanyou,  I absolutely love that about your dad!

[louannems]

Isn't the fifth girl from the right, back row, the sister of Jesse's finance.  I know I've seen her face before!

[Caroline]

Did anyone see that Chelsy's sister Allison is engaged?  She announced it on her blog.

[nvmbr02]

25 minutes ago, Caroline said:

Did anyone see that Chelsy's sister Allison is engaged?  She announced it on her blog.

I didn't see that, I'll have to check out the Bontrager thread. It isn't surprising to me though, there has been speculation for awhile that she was in a relationship. I guess there will be no more dating her brothers...

[Caroline]

Sorry!  It was posted on the Bontrager thread many hours ago.  I was working most of the day (only one more week of remote teaching!) and didn't see it.  She seemed to desperately long to be married, so good for her but......

It makes me sad that getting married seems to be the one and only goal of these people.  I wanted so much more and was allowed to get a good higher education and work for whatever I wanted.  And I met my husband along the way doing the same things I was doing.  But I think I would not have been waiting for the rest of my life for Mr. Right because I would have made my own happiness.