Chelsy and John Maxwell 8: Killing Demons with a Salt Gun

[HerNameIsBuffy]

11 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

Could it also be about carrying on the maxwel name?

Where did Maxwell come from anyway?  When he dropped his original surname did he just choose Maxwell or is it a family name?

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

10 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Where did Maxwell come from anyway?  When he dropped his original surname did he just choose Maxwell or is it a family name?

 

I think it’s his stepdad’s last name.

[anjulibai]

It's his step-dad's name, and he's obsessed with it. I don't think he wants non-Maxwell grandchildren. 

[Hane]

15 hours ago, Lgirlrocks said:

Could it also be about carrying on the maxwel name?

Yes, because Patriarchy.
A Transfer of Authority (aka, per a genius among us, Hymen Sale) would be a nice-to-have, but not need-to-have, for the Max daughters. The fact that they’re still unmarried advertises the fact that no mere mortal can achieve Stevehovah’s dizzyingly high standards—whereas the sons’ marriages announce the great successes of young Patriarchs-in-Training.

[JermajestyDuggar]

36 minutes ago, anjulibai said:

It's his step-dad's name, and he's obsessed with it. I don't think he wants non-Maxwell grandchildren. 

He has a lot of girl grandchildren and I bet they will get married. Unlike their aunties. Bye bye Maxwell name. 

[petrushka]

Jesse and 3Anna will be celebrating their first wedding anniversary this weekend.  Based on recent photos she does not appear pregnant and as far as we know they remain in their apartment.  I wonder if Steve has taken him aside to be sure they are leaving their reproduction up to God.

[Jana814]

I know this would never happen in the Maxwell family but my cousins kids have his wife’s last name. She doesn’t have any brothers (she has a sister but she doesn’t have kids) & she wanted her name to continue so both of their kids have her last name. 

[HereticHick]

On 5/13/2021 at 4:08 PM, Bluebirdbluebell said:

I've been speculating she's pregnant for a while. But due in September! Yikes! Let's hope they slow down a little. 

I don't think they will slow down on purpose. Chelsy has mentioned several times that she is very aware that she married "late" by the standards of her fundy circle. I bet she feels that she is 1-2 babies behind schedule.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

18 minutes ago, Jana814 said:

I know this would never happen in the Maxwell family but my cousins kids have his wife’s last name. She doesn’t have any brothers (she has a sister but she doesn’t have kids) & she wanted her name to continue so both of their kids have her last name. 

I think it's sweet when people want their name to continue for personal reasons like this.  When I do genealogy I have a mild ping of sadness when a cool surname comes to an end in one of my lines.

What I don't get is people who get upset about it like there is a dynasty to protect.

One of my sons changed his name at 18 and took my maiden name.  100% his decision and while his relationship with his dad is complicated it was solely about just liking it better...his dad's family were not thrilled.  Their last name is very common, think Taylor or Miller esque, and mine is uncommon and ethnic.  They were concerned about any children he may have not bearing their name but all of my kids went to school with unrelated people who shared their last name so no danger in it vanishing from recorded history any time soon.

It is funny now whenever I over hear him on the phone giving his name to someone.  Says it > corrects pronunciation by saying it again > spells it (same cadence I use - heh) > pause > "No" > spells it again with a barely audible sigh.

When I first took his dad's name when we were married out of habit I'd spell it every time I have someone my name until someone said to me, "yeah I know, that's how it's spelled."  I then realized when I started spelling they were expecting an uncommon spelling and I was confusing people.  

59 minutes ago, petrushka said:

Jesse and 3Anna will be celebrating their first wedding anniversary this weekend.  Based on recent photos she does not appear pregnant and as far as we know they remain in their apartment.  I wonder if Steve has taken him aside to be sure they are leaving their reproduction up to God.

Their preoccupation with the sex lives of their children is still so weird to me.  My (according to Steve) heathen and hell bound lapsed Catholic father would have spontaneously combusted if any of us even alluded to having had sex.  Not very progressive, but a damn site more healthy than Steve's need discuss his restored holy ejaculate with anyone who will listen.  

[SassyPants]

8 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I think it's sweet when people want their name to continue for personal reasons like this.  When I do genealogy I have a mild ping of sadness when a cool surname comes to an end in one of my lines.

What I don't get is people who get upset about it like there is a dynasty to protect.

One of my sons changed his name at 18 and took my maiden name.  100% his decision and while his relationship with his dad is complicated it was solely about just liking it better...his dad's family were not thrilled.  Their last name is very common, think Taylor or Miller esque, and mine is uncommon and ethnic.  They were concerned about any children he may have not bearing their name but all of my kids went to school with unrelated people who shared their last name so no danger in it vanishing from recorded history any time soon.

It is funny now whenever I over hear him on the phone giving his name to someone.  Says it > corrects pronunciation by saying it again > spells it (same cadence I use - heh) > pause > "No" > spells it again with a barely audible sigh.

When I first took his dad's name when we were married out of habit I'd spell it every time I have someone my name until someone said to me, "yeah I know, that's how it's spelled."  I then realized when I started spelling they were expecting an uncommon spelling and I was confusing people.  

Their preoccupation with the sex lives of their children is still so weird to me.  My (according to Steve) heathen and hell bound lapsed Catholic father would have spontaneously combusted if any of us even alluded to having had sex.  Not very progressive, but a damn site more healthy than Steve's need discuss his restored holy ejaculate with anyone who will listen.  

An interesting phenomena when one is publicly overtly sexual (JB Duggar) or publicly verbally focused (and willing to share) on the wonders of their nether regions (SM), yet are simultaneously obsessed with the sexual lives (or maintaining their version of purity) of their offspring.

It makes be wonder, severely wonder, about the past lives of some of these folks, but that leads to speculation, so I’ll leave it at that.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 hour ago, anjulibai said:

It's his step-dad's name, and he's obsessed with it. I don't think he wants non-Maxwell grandchildren. 

So he had a good enough relationship with his step-father to want to take his name and pass it along to his children and grandchildren, but can't acknowledge that a divorce can sometimes be in the best interest of a couple and their children?  

I am not sure of many things, but I would make book that the rational part of Steve's brain that can not only understand logical concepts, but embraced them as an engineer, sometimes cries at the mental gymnastics the crazy part of Steve's brain employs.  

These two have less of an excuse than most of the other fundy patriarchs and helpmeets because not only are they smart enough to know better, but they've been expressly trained in logical process and critical thought.  I get why people like the Rods would gravitate toward this kind of cult, but Steve could have been just a regular run of the mill engineer with massive control issues and had more power in the world at large than he does now. 

4 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

An interesting phenomena when one is publicly overtly sexual (JB Duggar) or publicly verbally focused (and willing to share) on the wonders of their nether regions (SM), yet are simultaneously obsessed with the sexual lives (or maintaining their version of purity) of their offspring.

It makes be wonder, severely wonder, about the past lives of some of these folks, but that leads to speculation, so I’ll leave it at that.

I agree.  And I'll speculate on Steve ...he either feels unnecessary guilt for some thoughts and feelings, or behavior when he was single or he stepped out on Teri early on and has been blaming women as a whole and forcing his entire family to do penance for his sins ever since.  

Idk which, but his actions sure make him look like he has dirty secrets.

And not related to fundies, but there seems to be a direct inverse correlation IME between people who are comfortable with their own sexuality and those who are obsessed and judgy about the sex lives of other consenting adults.

[fundiefan]

3 hours ago, Jana814 said:

I know this would never happen in the Maxwell family but my cousins kids have his wife’s last name. She doesn’t have any brothers (she has a sister but she doesn’t have kids) & she wanted her name to continue so both of their kids have her last name. 

I have a cousin whose husband took her last name. He is one of five boys, so that name was guaranteed to keep going. She was one of two girls, one of whom passed away, so she was the only one left to carry her father's name. So, her husband took her name when they married in the 1990's & they gave it to their four kids. The one boy is married & his wife took his last name, so he'll keep it going. One of the girls kept her maiden name when she married so her kids will have a hyphenated name with her partner. The other two girls are still in college & haven't made decisions. 

It's kinda' crazy how people get to make decisions based on what works for them rather follow some random rule of society patriarchy. 

 

[SPHASH]

5 hours ago, anjulibai said:

It's his step-dad's name, and he's obsessed with it. I don't think he wants non-Maxwell grandchildren. 

His biological dad's name is Paul Bargar.

Edited May 18, 2021 by SPHASH

[thoughtful]

11 minutes ago, SPHASH said:

His biological dad's name is Paul Bargar.

And he is no longer with us. I wonder if he knew where he was going when he died. The Maxwells are listed on his obituary:

http://www.christensenvanhouten.com/obituary.php?view=82

His Facebook page is still up. Seems to me that he and Steve might have agreed about politics, if they'd stayed in touch:

https://www.facebook.com/paul.bargar

I don't know what happened to his second wife, but he remarried again in 2009.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

8 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

And he is no longer with us. I wonder if he knew where he was going when he died. The Maxwells are listed on his obituary:

http://www.christensenvanhouten.com/obituary.php?view=82

His Facebook page is still up. Seems to me that he and Steve might have agreed about politics, if they'd stayed in touch:

https://www.facebook.com/paul.bargar

I don't know what happened to his second wife, but he remarried again in 2009.

Gosh, that obit is a genealogist's dream.  And I haven't seen the phrase "special friend" used since my mom died.  I never realized he came from such a big family.  

[Jana814]

Does anyone know how much contact if any Steve had with his biological father. 

[Paperplate]

12 hours ago, thoughtful said:

And he is no longer with us. I wonder if he knew where he was going when he died. The Maxwells are listed on his obituary:

http://www.christensenvanhouten.com/obituary.php?view=82

His Facebook page is still up. Seems to me that he and Steve might have agreed about politics, if they'd stayed in touch:

https://www.facebook.com/paul.bargar

I don't know what happened to his second wife, but he remarried again in 2009.

Why isn't his third wife mentioned in the obituary?

I wonder whether Sarah's middle name Rae is a family name (from Steve's bio dad's sister's [= Steve's aunt's] middle name) or whether it's just a coincidence.

[anjulibai]

Steve's middle name is Ray, I thought it came from that, but I suppose Ray could have come from his aunt.

[fundiefan]

It says he is survived by his wife Cecile C. Bargar, whom he married in 1984. She was his wife upon death - was he married to someone else between the first & Cecile? I'm confused.

The man liked flying - guess we know why Stevey boy gave it up. Too much like the father he apparently doesn't like. He also ran a liquor store - oh the horrors! He had hobbies!

He was also a good kritchen & belonged to a Baptist church and was a member of the NRA. 

What, exactly, happened that made Stevey turn on dear old dad so swiftly & thoroughly?

Steve's issues run very, very deep. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

Just now, fundiefan said:

The man liked flying - guess we know why Stevey boy gave it up. Too much like the father he apparently doesn't like. He also ran a liquor store - oh the horrors! He had hobbies!

What is with these people and planes?!

[kpmom]

There's either another wife in between Steve's mom and Cecile, or Paul did not marry the woman he ran off with when Steve was a teen.  I don't recall if Steve said if they married or not.

You can see Steve a bit in that picture of Paul.

[anjulibai]

I think his step-father also left his mom. They were divorced, too, I believe.

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 minutes ago, anjulibai said:

I think his step-father also left his mom. They were divorced, too, I believe.

You would think he would want his mother’s maiden name then. Since the other two dads left. 

[petrushka]

1 hour ago, fundiefan said:

It says he is survived by his wife Cecile C. Bargar, whom he married in 1984. She was his wife upon death - was he married to someone else between the first & Cecile? I'm confused.

The man liked flying - guess we know why Stevey boy gave it up. Too much like the father he apparently doesn't like. He also ran a liquor store - oh the horrors! He had hobbies!

He was also a good kritchen & belonged to a Baptist church and was a member of the NRA. 

What, exactly, happened that made Stevey turn on dear old dad so swiftly & thoroughly?

Steve's issues run very, very deep. 

Steve has two sisters, yet we never see them featured in family photos, visits, nothing!  I guess they are normal and live fulfilling lives.

[ophelia]

On 5/18/2021 at 8:31 PM, Jana814 said:

I know this would never happen in the Maxwell family but my cousins kids have his wife’s last name. She doesn’t have any brothers (she has a sister but she doesn’t have kids) & she wanted her name to continue so both of their kids have her last name. 

My boyfriend and I aren't married (yet) and our son will have my family name. And even if we get married, I will keep my name and so will our son.
My family name would die out otherwise, but that is not the only reason I want to keep it and why I want our baby to have it. I'm the one making the sacrifices here and so this was never really up for discussion. I would love my boyfriend to take my family name, but if he doesn't I don't care. You don't need to have the same name to be a family IMHO. Additionally his family name and my surname don't match at all and it would sound like the name of a comic figure.

My VERY CONSERVATIVE in-laws were (and probably still are) in schock. For weeks they tried to talk my boyfriend out of it. It was really hurtful. When we told them we were having a son it got even worse and they made some pretty sexist comments and I was at the point of breaking off all contact with them. We are living in the small same town so that would have been challenging, but their behaviour really hurt me.