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HerNameIsBuffy

Chelsy and John Maxwell 8: Killing Demons with a Salt Gun

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smittykins

Thanks. 🤗 I don’t want to go into the litany of all the stuff he did to me, but I did manage  to prove him wrong.  He always used to say that no man would ever want me because I was “fat and lazy.”  Years later I ran across him at Walmart, and I was able to introduce him to my husband.

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fundiefan

Chelsey posted about streaming church services - two times on each Sunday! 

She managed to discuss training her one year old son to sit quietly during church. You can't wait til they're 4 and expect them to sit quietly, you have to train them when they're young!

There is a picture of Axton on John's lap with John holding Axton's hands in place. There was a similar picture on his birthday post. I don't think they're training him to do anything - they're forcing him.

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JermajestyDuggar
11 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

Chelsey posted about streaming church services - two times on each Sunday! 

She managed to discuss training her one year old son to sit quietly during church. You can't wait til they're 4 and expect them to sit quietly, you have to train them when they're young!

There is a picture of Axton on John's lap with John holding Axton's hands in place. There was a similar picture on his birthday post. I don't think they're training him to do anything - they're forcing him.

You know what my grandma did during church services when one of us was acting up (she took at least 5 grandkids to church every Sunday)? She would rub/tickle our necks to relax us. It’s hard to describe it wasn’t an actual tickle. It was just a relaxing light touch that calmed us down if we had the wiggles. She knew we all loved having our necks tickled so we would immediately stop whatever we were doing and be quiet so she would keep doing it. Everyone wanted to sit by grandma in church. 

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Lgirlrocks

My parents never punished us for not sitting still at church. Most adults realize that kids will be kids. We were told to be quiet if we were to loud or given something to color or draw on. We also went to Sunday school. I know most fundie kids don’t go to Sunday school. 

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JermajestyDuggar

I think it’s ridiculous to expect a one year old to sit quietly for an hour. Anyone will tell you that’s not age appropriate. It’s like trying to teach a cat to do geometry. 

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PennySycamore

Aren't wiggly kids why God invented church nurseries?

For heaven's sake John and Cheesy, let little Axton play during church!  He's not getting anything out of the service anyway.

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SPHASH

Interesting Judgy Chelsy and Stud John are watching her home church services and not one endorsed by Coward Steve.

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usmcmom
3 hours ago, fundiefan said:

She managed to discuss training her one year old son to sit quietly during church. You can't wait til they're 4 and expect them to sit quietly, you have to train them when they're young!

 

Meanwhile; who is going to train Axton’s mother to put her phone down during “church services”?

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Melissa1977

Poor Axton. 

Poor baby-on-board.

Poor bunch of incoming babies.

On 3/25/2020 at 6:04 PM, smittykins said:

Unfortunately, when my mom was married to the Stepfather From Hell, I didn’t even have that option.  It was either sit there until I ate it, or go to bed hungry, and hope that the plate didn’t go into the refrigerator and show up again for breakfast.

Bontragers are proud of force feedings. I read it in their blog.

 Axton childhood is going to be very very sad.

I suppose all Maxwells are the same, but I hope I'm wrong and some of them are raising their kids a bit less strict. 

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Lgirlrocks

Why of children are such a blessing to fundies do they treat them like shit?

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JermajestyDuggar
9 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

Why of children are such a blessing to fundies do they treat them like shit?

I think a big part of it is because they are quiverful. No one can handle that many pregnancies and children while actually treating them like human beings. They beat the curiosity out of them and train them to be little robots.

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Foudeb

I try not to be judgmental when it gets to parenting but Chelsy is really testing my resolve here. If she doesn't want her life to change because of a baby and she doesn't want her baby to behave like a baby... Why have a baby in the first place. Seriously. Get a doll to dress up in tiny clothes or open a dog school if training someone to sit still is your thing. Hell, go for both at once if that's what it takes to make you happy. Just don't drag a helpless little person who didn't ask to be born into it. 

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Melissa1977

I don't understand why they watched the church service during bath time. Sounds disrespectful to me. 

Is Chelsy sooooo scheduled that priorizes Axton bathtime over church? Couldn't she bath the baby earlier or later? Or skipping bathtime for a day?

The lack of flexibility is not going to help her. I get why strict timing helps with big families, but it may be frustrating, too. Adaptation and flexibility are evidences of intelligence.

Another scary thing is witnessing how fundie education destroys critical thinking. Chelsy herself was raised to be a robot and now she cannot think by herself. She has trained her baby not to touch the food, so why was she surprised when he didn't smash the cake? How can she expect her baby to get dirty and making a mess, when she has punished* him for doing messes?

*I use this word although I know some posters say it shouldn't be used if we are not sure. I have children, I know plenty of children and no way you can teach a baby not no touch his food "just with sweet words". Sorry. I don't believe it. 

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fundiefan

Axton is a toddler. He will need to eat real food, with his fingers/hands, at some point. How can he do that if he's been trained to keep his hands off the food? Talk about a total mindf*ck for the kid. 

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HerNameIsBuffy
16 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

*I use this word although I know some posters say it shouldn't be used if we are not sure. I have children, I know plenty of children and no way you can teach a baby not no touch his food "just with sweet words". Sorry. I don't believe it. 

Absolutely.  There is no way to "train" a child in this without doing something decent people would find abhorent.

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Coconut Flan
Posted (edited)

I'm a huge proponent of baby lead weaning which involves the mess of letting the child take the food they want and explore it and get it into their mouths.  My daughter and SIL couldn't handle that with their first born and missed the developmental stage of him willingly putting food in his mouth.  When they deemed that the kid had hit the magic age given by their pediatrician, they had missed the window in his developmental stages so there was gagging and rejection to overcome.  Second child they had a much more stubborn child plus decided they'd listen to grandma when she said the child will tell you when she's ready.  There was much mess but no gagging or resistance and a lot of imperious pointing.  They both have managed to develop a wide range of tastes, not be picky, and somehow developed basic table manners. It's the nature of kids to need to explore their world.

Edited by Coconut Flan
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anachronistic

I’ve known a couple kids who didn’t want to explore their food as babies and it was a real cause for concern about sensory issues. If a baby or toddler is content in being fed and doesn’t want to touch their food, it could indicate a sensory processing problem. The kids I knew also had an aversion to finger painting, slime play, etc. Luckily with lots of encouragement- “we can make the sauce go SPLAT!” - both got over it and learned to see the fun in messiness. I don’t understand why Chelsy wants to raise a fearful child. There are lots of textures and tastes in the world and learning to love them starts with discovering their existence. Poor little guy.

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JermajestyDuggar
8 minutes ago, anachronistic said:

I’ve known a couple kids who didn’t want to explore their food as babies and it was a real cause for concern about sensory issues. If a baby or toddler is content in being fed and doesn’t want to touch their food, it could indicate a sensory processing problem. The kids I knew also had an aversion to finger painting, slime play, etc. Luckily with lots of encouragement- “we can make the sauce go SPLAT!” - both got over it and learned to see the fun in messiness. I don’t understand why Chelsy wants to raise a fearful child. There are lots of textures and tastes in the world and learning to love them starts with discovering their existence. Poor little guy.

My older son has always been a fairly clean kid. I have issues with my hands being sticky or dirty so if he has issues with that as well, I understand. My younger son is the opposite. He’s my Pigpen. 

I think fundies have a lot of fucked up expectations for their children. They train them not to touch their food and then expect them to dig right in and get messy with a smash cake. They tell their children that sex and lust before marriage is a huge sin and dirty. But the minute you are married you are expected to hop into bed happily with someone you’ve never even kissed. It’s a horrible thing to do to your children. 

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Hane

@Coconut Flan, you just sparked a funny memory of my own baby: When my daughter was about 5.5 months old and had been fed nothing but breast milk, I was holding her on my lap while eating a sandwich. She grabbed my hand and tried to cram the sandwich into her mouth! That’s when I figured she was ready for solids, so I mashed a banana and fed her some. She lunged forward and practically bit the bowl off the spoon!

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Rosie
On 3/28/2020 at 10:00 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think it’s ridiculous to expect a one year old to sit quietly for an hour. Anyone will tell you that’s not age appropriate. It’s like trying to teach a cat to do geometry. 

I agree.  My (ELCA Lutheran) church has activity baskets for young children to use during the service.  They include coloring sheets with crayons, a preschool-level book of Bible stories, and the like.

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fundiefan

My niece was born in April. She was a formula fed baby and by Thanksgiving, she had only had formula and rice cereal or something. My sister had started offering baby food, by my niece had no interest. 

At Thanksgiving dinner, I was holding my niece on my lap after eating. The food hadn't been cleared yet. That little girl dove almost head first into the bowl of mashed potatoes that were next to me. She ate and ate and ate. She loved them! Since we were done eating, we just let her have at it and she had them all over her, and in her. 

For the next few weeks, my sister mixed mashed potatoes with different baby foods and she ate everything given to her. My sister mashed them almost to a puree, but it wasn't the texture my niece wanted - it was apparently potatoes. Within a month or so, she was eating baby & finger foods without the potatoes. 

Each kid has their own thing. Most parents pay attention and go with whatever works, using common sense of course. I feel really bad for kids who get shoved into boxes of behaviors/expectations. 

To this day, at 25 years old, my niece is still a mashed potato lover and she mixes other foods with them often. You know the whole rice / bowl things that are popular now? She has always done that with potatoes - a bowl of potatoes, topped with some veggies, meats, or whatever strikes her fancy. 

Babies are not miniature adults, but they do actually have preferences and things they like and/or don't. And I hate that so many controlling fundies don't allow that in their kids. 

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PennySycamore

@Coconut Flan, we basically did Baby-Led Weaning with my girls beginning with my oldest who turns 40 later this year.  I read about just mashing some food like banana up and just letting the baby go for it with their hands; that appealed to me much more than spoon-feeding so that's what we did.  My only baby who was spoon-fed was Katherine, our premie, and while she did take it it readily, I think it was not what she needed.  She needed higher-calorie formula in the supplementer and we needed a different pediatrician.  

@fundiefan,  with actual BLW such as @Coconut Flan described, chunks of potato is the preferred first food.  (I think I'm correct about this.)  As for the old mashed banana, many babies did not like its slimy texture.  Baked sweet potato worked better

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HerNameIsBuffy
3 hours ago, fundiefan said:

Babies are not miniature adults, but they do actually have preferences and things they like and/or don't. And I hate that so many controlling fundies don't allow that in their kids. 

It's funny - my eldest has hated scrambled eggs since I first introduced them at whatever baby age that was...so long ago I don't remember but I went by the book regarding introducing foods.

Has always, still, and I'm sure will always hate them with an intensity that's kind of odd for such a bland food.  He likes eggs in other ways, just not scrambled.  Just funny how some preferences stick.

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Black Aliss

My firstborn had an immature digestive tract, which meant that most things he ate got puked up almost immediately. He couldn't really digest solid foods until he was about 18 months old. Fortunately I had plenty of breast milk and he was always off the developmental charts. But even though he couldn't digest food he loved new tastes and was always grabbing for whatever we were eating and putting it in his mouth. We noted in his baby book that his first solid food was roquefort cheese. The only thing he could not stand was baby food. I'm pretty sure it was the texture that put him off.

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