Dillards 83: WTG JILL - PUBLIC SCHOOL!!!

[SassyPants]

20 hours ago, AprilQuilt said:

I can't imagine anyone in America saying this! So interesting! It's a very common word here in England but definitely working/lower middle class. I would think of it as northern but maybe just because that's my background.

My late British GM used to call the couch the chesterfield.

[singsingsing]

I'm watching the Without a Crystal Ball thing right now. I tuned in 16 minutes in so I may have missed some things at the beginning, but here's what she's said/Derick's said so far:

-He and Jill could have held hands/hugged longer before engagement but chose not to on their own.

-They're putting Israel in public school just because it seems right during this 'season' for them.

-He says he wishes Amy could speak to what she wants to, it's strange and sad, Amy is controlled by other people. He and Jill weren't even allowed to be the first ones to announce our own life events (marriage, babies, genders, etc.). Derick would announce things himself if he could do it over again even if he got in trouble.

-Family relationships are affected by being involved in the family business. Plugging their blog/social media w/ hints that he'll reveal more things in time. Whatever.

-Not true that they don't want to be around any of Jill's family. Like any family, they don't always get along and sometimes have issues with some of Jill's family. Will only address rumours/false stories if they seem to be getting out of hand and need to be addressed.

-He and Jill have been seeing a licenced counsellor for the past couple years to help them work through things (I got the impression this is more about the trauma Jill's experienced/the trauma of being on the show/part of the Duggar family, rather than specific issues in their relationship).

-Derick apparently is advocating against exploitation of children on Twitter. Mmmmmkay....

-How does Derick plan to raise his children differently? Neither Jill or he are bitter about how they were raised. They'll reject some things, adopt some things, recycle some things about how they were raised. 

-Oh yeah, this is from earlier, apparently they reject IBLP, Derick thinks it's bad that there are too many rules, they are not affiliated with IBLP.

-She didn't ask if they plan to have more children which seems like something kind of important with regards to their current beliefs/practices?

-Crystal Ball lady rambles on about her own opinions. Really, there's nothing interesting or new here.

[CaricatureQualities]

I will paraphrase in point form some stuff I picked up from the interview:

Derick clears up misconceptions about him and his fam:

-He is not against women wearing pants, having short hair or having peircings. Or pursuing higher education.

-He is not against the LGBTQ+ community (Jazz comments were not brought up)

-He is not against alcohol consumption but does not believe in getting drunk.

-They do not support the IBLP. Said he doesn't know that much about it. Does not think t is all bad (don't throw out baby with bathwater) but thinks there are extras that are not biblical and potentially harmful. Example: modesty important but nothing about no pants in scripture. Gothard is not God and his saying are not biblical or godly (praise!) and confusing IBLP teaching as Biblical is harmful. They go by the bible.

-They are still dealing with the fallout from the Josh scandals and lawsuits with springdale etc... Apparently Jill is in therapy and they also attend actual therapy as a couple (!) and the book "boundaries" has helped them/her.

-still love Jills family but don't always get along with everyone or feel comfortable around everyone all the time.

-expressed sympathy for Amy not being able to say what she wants because she apparently isn't allowed.

-Their choice not to be on show. 

-Were told (By JB?) that they were volunteering their time to family ministry. 

-apparently there will be more revelations in future as theu feel more comfortable to share.

There is more but those are some highlights I can remember.

 

 

[Tenyari]

Before that, she said that Derick said that he doesn't think it's wrong for women to have short hair, wear pants and have piercings, and that he'll support any of his children, boys or girls, if they decide to pursue higher education.

He also said that the biggest misconception about him is that he doesn't like LGBTQ+ people - he said that he likes all people, including them. His little brother in his fraternity at college is gay and the two of them still keep in touch and are friends.

He also doesn't think that it's wrong to drink alcohol when you're an adult and that he'll allow his kids to make their own decisions regarding alcohol when they're adults, though he doesn't support drinking until you're drunk and considers that against the Bible. He said he had drunk alcohol himself.

[FleeJanaFree]

Wow, they do therapy? I'm impressed and happy by that tidbit. I really am. Good for them.

[Idlewild]

Derick blurring the lines again.... doesn’t agree with IBLP but apparently did not research on the person he sought out as a prayer partner....

against child exploitation but moans he wasn’t paid for showing the birth of their children on TV.

His family need therapy for the trauma but made a video thanking his wife’s abuser for a donation. 

Filmed in Central America fully clothed in a swimming pool but says he never had strict modesty rules.

He wouldn’t be difficult to cross examine! 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, FleeJanaFree said:

Wow, they do therapy? I'm impressed and happy by that tidbit. I really am. Good for them.

I’m guessing this has made the biggest difference in Jill’s straying from the fundie beliefs that were drilled into her. There’s a reason why fundies hate mainstream therapy. Because it often makes you question and rethink things that have happened in your life and your beliefs.

[Snarkasarus Rex]

55 minutes ago, Idlewild said:

Derick blurring the lines again.... doesn’t agree with IBLP but apparently did not research on the person he sought out as a prayer partner....

against child exploitation but moans he wasn’t paid for showing the birth of their children on TV.

His family need therapy for the trauma but made a video thanking his wife’s abuser for a donation. 

Filmed in Central America fully clothed in a swimming pool but says he never had strict modesty rules.

He wouldn’t be difficult to cross examine! 

And to think he wants to be a lawyer ?

[Belugaloo]

1 hour ago, Idlewild said:

Derick blurring the lines again.... doesn’t agree with IBLP but apparently did not research on the person he sought out as a prayer partner....

against child exploitation but moans he wasn’t paid for showing the birth of their children on TV.

His family need therapy for the trauma but made a video thanking his wife’s abuser for a donation. 

Filmed in Central America fully clothed in a swimming pool but says he never had strict modesty rules.

He wouldn’t be difficult to cross examine! 

Well, you have someone who is.... what.. 5 years older than he was when he sought out JB as a prayer partner? I am 23, and jeez I hope no one is judging who I am right now based on my decisions as an 18 year old. 18 year old belugaloo was a horrible decision maker and she knew nothing. haha. 

 

your other 3 points could easily be explained by him pointing out that he had to do certain things for the family business- if hes going to be filmed swimming, he needs to meet the Duggar standards. Plenty of people make nice with family members they dont like, im assuming the pressure is greater when youre on a TV show with them and being happy is a big part of that show. I also think you can be annoyed that you weren't properly reimbursed for your work on a TV show while also changing your views to not want your children to be exploited anymore. 

[Idlewild]

5 minutes ago, Belugaloo said:

Well, you have someone who is.... what.. 5 years older than he was when he sought out JB as a prayer partner? I am 23, and jeez I hope no one is judging who I am right now based on my decisions as an 18 year old. 18 year old belugaloo was a horrible decision maker and she knew nothing. haha. 

 

your other 3 points could easily be explained by him pointing out that he had to do certain things for the family business- if hes going to be filmed swimming, he needs to meet the Duggar standards. Plenty of people make nice with family members they dont like, im assuming the pressure is greater when youre on a TV show with them and being happy is a big part of that show. I also think you can be annoyed that you weren't properly reimbursed for your work on a TV show while also changing your views to not want your children to be exploited anymore. 

Derick wasn’t 18 though- he was a college graduate who sought out a reality TV star.

if he came and said ‘yes I went along with this charade  and pretended to subscribe to their beliefs because I wanted to ingratiate myself with the Duggars’ then fair enough. To me- and I obviously don’t know him, I can only go on what he chooses to say publicly- he appears to be trying to rewrite history a little. 

And Derick has never taken the opportunity to apologise for the remarks he made about Jazz and Nate - which were offensive and certainly weren’t just aimed at TLC, they were aimed at individuals. Then he doesn’t get why people think he is anti LGBT. 

Maybe Jill and Derick are evolving - who knows. I’m glad Jill is getting counselling - I see that as the main positive from all this. 

[Belugaloo]

4 minutes ago, Idlewild said:

Derick wasn’t 18 though- he was a college graduate who sought out a reality TV star.

if he came and said ‘yes I went along with this charade  and pretended to subscribe to their beliefs because I wanted to ingratiate myself with the Duggars’ then fair enough. To me- and I obviously don’t know him, I can only go on what he chooses to say publicly- he appears to be trying to rewrite history a little. 

And Derick has never taken the opportunity to apologise for the remarks he made about Jazz and Nate - which were offensive and certainly weren’t just aimed at TLC, they were aimed at individuals. Then he doesn’t get why people think he is anti LGBT. 

Maybe Jill and Derick are evolving - who knows. I’m glad Jill is getting counselling - I see that as the main positive from all this. 

I see what you're saying. I think these changes in their lives speak a lot, and they're good changes. It's not likely he will ever say as much as we want him to- but I think thats completely fair. Most people wouldn't trash their in laws on a public platform, these small comments from him may be all we ever see, and I would respect that. He and Jill are in therapy, they seem to be making decisions for their boys based on what is best for them, Jill seems like a fairly typical SAHM. I think they're doing well.

 

I can be as upset as anyone over the Jazz comments. But im reminded fairly frequently (unfortunately) that the standard American opinion doesnt seem to be "pro" transgender rights. There are some incredibly kind people I know, who are pro-gay rights and mostly seem like your typical open minded adult who gets flustered when the word transgender comes up. I dont quite understand why there's a hang up there, but a lot of people still dont seem to be on board with it (and thats not okay, at all. Im just saying that this isn't a fundie thing, it seems fairly common among a lot of different types of people.) 

[Idlewild]

3 minutes ago, Belugaloo said:

I see what you're saying. I think these changes in their lives speak a lot, and they're good changes. It's not likely he will ever say as much as we want him to- but I think thats completely fair. Most people wouldn't trash their in laws on a public platform, these small comments from him may be all we ever see, and I would respect that. He and Jill are in therapy, they seem to be making decisions for their boys based on what is best for them, Jill seems like a fairly typical SAHM. I think they're doing well.

 

I can be as upset as anyone over the Jazz comments. But im reminded fairly frequently (unfortunately) that the standard American opinion doesnt seem to be "pro" transgender rights. There are some incredibly kind people I know, who are pro-gay rights and mostly seem like your typical open minded adult who gets flustered when the word transgender comes up. I dont quite understand why there's a hang up there, but a lot of people still dont seem to be on board with it (and thats not okay, at all. Im just saying that this isn't a fundie thing, it seems fairly common among a lot of different types of people.) 

Yes- they are definitely changing and that’s why I used the term ‘evolve’ and I think that is often one of the effects of therapy ( I had counselling after a major trauma and I started to view and question things and change aspects of my life as a result but it was very gradual). 

I’m not American but I know what you mean about people’s attitude to trans people. Derick says people have got him wrong about his attitude- well put them right Derick- we’d all cheer along to hear that!  It’s an odd time - he’s working presumably to be able to support his family without the Duggar branding but at the moment their ( or rather Jill’s ) fan base is steeped in the original Duggar fans and they use that for their influencing etc. You only have to look at comments from people saying Derick is perfectly right to criticise Jazz and it was the godly thing to do etc. What you don’t see is Derick or Jill stepping in to correct that apprehension. Hopefully once they have some proper financial independence they’ll feel able to tell us what they really do think, or just go private. 

[singsingsing]

Derick loves to rewrite history, so I’m not saying this to defend him. But there’s more to it than being fame-hungry. He was young, naive and vulnerable, looking for a father figure and a spiritual guide. His religion and culture beat into him from infancy the importance of obedience and blind trust. An older white patriarch with an aura of religious authority and a large fan base of conservative evangelicals just like him would be someone to trust completely. I’m sure he was tempted by the fame, but he was also looking for purpose and belonging, I think. The fact that he had such high hopes is probably why he’s so angry now. He feels incredibly disappointed, used, and quite possibly foolish for being taken in by the charade. Conservative evangelicals, however smart or educated, tend to be incredibly easy to fool and manipulate.

[AussieKrissy]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’m guessing this has made the biggest difference in Jill’s straying from the fundie beliefs that were drilled into her. There’s a reason why fundies hate mainstream therapy. Because it often makes you question and rethink things that have happened in your life and your beliefs.

God I hope it is mainstream therapy and not some wack job weekly sessions with a minister.  

[SassyPants]

2 hours ago, Idlewild said:

Derick blurring the lines again.... doesn’t agree with IBLP but apparently did not research on the person he sought out as a prayer partner....

against child exploitation but moans he wasn’t paid for showing the birth of their children on TV.

His family need therapy for the trauma but made a video thanking his wife’s abuser for a donation. 

Filmed in Central America fully clothed in a swimming pool but says he never had strict modesty rules.

He wouldn’t be difficult to cross examine! 

Were the actual births of either of his kids shown via the show? We don’t think so. 

[Snarkasarus Rex]

3 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Were the actual births of either of his kids shown via the show? We don’t think so. 

Izzy did have a birth special.  

[Idlewild]

1 minute ago, SassyPants said:

Were the actual births of either of his kids shown via the show? We don’t think so. 

I think Israel’s was? It’s always been a bit unclear which son Derick was complaining about because he seemed to be saying that he thought TLC could have paid towards medical bills - which you would think meant Sam as he had the stay in NICU but AFAIK  Sam’s birth  was not shown but then Derick said TLC made money from it, so he must have meant Israel? 

[Snarkasarus Rex]

42 minutes ago, Idlewild said:

I think Israel’s was? It’s always been a bit unclear which son Derick was complaining about because he seemed to be saying that he thought TLC could have paid towards medical bills - which you would think meant Sam as he had the stay in NICU but AFAIK  Sam’s birth  was not shown but then Derick said TLC made money from it, so he must have meant Israel? 

Derick’s medical bill rant was about Izzy’s birth.  It happened around the time Sam was born, and he talked about visiting the NICU, so that’s why the timeline can be confusing.

Jill stated that they quit filming before Sam was born, so It’s probably safe to assume it wasn’t filmed.

[CaricatureQualities]

I don't understand why they (Derick or Amy) are going to WOACB or agreeing to do interviews with a youtuber who is always covering their family gossip when they could just put the info out themselves if they wanted to get it out? Or at least Derick could as apparently Amy is forbidden to speak or will get sued by JB...allegedly.  But why go to the youtuber who profits from gossiping about your fam and then be surprised that the fam isn't impressed? I mean duh? It's like they want to stay in the Duggars good graces while also trying to ride the (constant) wave of controversy and glean support by the people who are out for Duggar blood at the same time. Seems fishy. I'm glad to acknowledge the positive when it happens like being open to public school, denouncing the IBLP etc... but... still don't  trust people fanning the flames on their own dumpster fire. 

 

 

 

[CaricatureQualities]

Also, just saying...The Dills...or Amy could just make their own yt channel and give out the same info they gave WOACB and make a stream of it and then they could make the money from the adds themselves. Yes, TLC was profiting off them but yo so is WOACB! Duggar vids consistently get her thousands of views and grows her patreon and superchat community. And her audience is big but not that big so why pander to her audience specifically? * 

Like, this is a weird flex.

*Her audience consists of a lot of mommies who might jump over and support the Dills or Kings in their online  endeavors and business ventures? The comments sections seems filled with ppl super eager to leghump  support them as long as they are spilling any kind of tea on the inlaws. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, AussieKrissy said:

God I hope it is mainstream therapy and not some wack job weekly sessions with a minister.  

There are definitely mainstream counselors who also take religion into account. There are legit licensed educated counselors in the US who also have a Christian or spiritual component in their work. And then there are “Christian counselors” who took a few crappy seminars and read a few books and think they can counsel people with the word of god. Of course I’m hoping Jill and Derick went to the former, not the latter. 

Edited March 28, 2020 by JermajestyDuggar

[CaricatureQualities]

Oh Amy King is on WOACB again right now

BTW. They are just 'momming out"

[patsymae]

On 3/26/2020 at 5:01 PM, AprilQuilt said:

I can't imagine anyone in America saying this! So interesting! It's a very common word here in England but definitely working/lower middle class. I would think of it as northern but maybe just because that's my background.

My relatives in Belfast call it a settee. They are working people.

[theotherelise]

People are rarely 100% rational or consistent. Derick and Jill don’t have a consistent message here and that’s pretty normal. It’s also like a six year time frame.

Im optimistic because of the public school, higher education, therapy, and clear changes to their boundaries. But yeah, there is a lot of immaturity and lack of taking responsibility.

Hopefully they continue in this journey and learn to accept their own behaviors and change them as necessary. They’ve got a lot to process through with their families and outside influences. Maybe the self reflection will come after and they’ll see the hypocrisy of still putting their kids out their on YouTube and Instagram.

My wish for them is that they fade into normal life when Derick graduates law school and gets a job. They can keep growing as their world gets smaller on the surface (obscurity in the public) and bigger irl (izzy’s classmates from different backgrounds, dericks future coworkers, Jill maybe getting a job or going to school).

 

[The Mother Dust]

8 minutes ago, theotherelise said:

Jill maybe getting a job or going to school).

I hope she would take some inspiration from Michaela Bates going to nursing school, maybe when Jill's kids are a little older.

3 hours ago, CaricatureQualities said:

 apparently Amy is forbidden to speak or will get sued by JB...allegedly.  

I haven't been following the Amy threads....can someone give me a quick summary on that?  Wow. 

On 3/26/2020 at 5:01 PM, AprilQuilt said:

I can't imagine anyone in America saying this! So interesting! It's a very common word here in England but definitely working/lower middle class. I would think of it as northern but maybe just because that's my background.

My grandma, born in the 20s in New York State, always called sofas/couches "davenports."  I always found it hilarious for some reason. lol. 

Edited March 28, 2020 by The Mother Dust