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I'm Missing the Crazy Adoption Threads


katilac

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LilMissMetaphor
On 9/23/2020 at 6:58 PM, Inthemadhouse said:

Is anyone else noticing what is going on with Susanna Musser (The Blessing of Verity) right now?  She has been making posts supporting BLM, talking about spiritual abuse and how to recognize it, and speaking out against Trump.  She has made references to leaving her fundie days behind.

No doubt, she is still a very conservative woman, and holds many abhorrent views.  But I am wondering what the impetus for this change might be.  Hopefully nothing tragic has happened to her or the kids

 She says she has left her Christian beliefs behind.  

 

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Inthemadhouse
On 3/16/2021 at 6:19 PM, LilMissMetaphor said:

 She says she has left her Christian beliefs behind.  

 

I saw that.  I hope that she is finding peace with her decisions, and that she has all the support she needs while making such a radical change.   

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SummerRocks

Sarah Mulvahill was not at the recent wedding of Mark and Kari.
 

Their bio son Matt wasn’t either but he (and his family) were mentioned several times. 

I wish Sarah the best ... I’m absolutely convinced something traumatic went down there. 

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SummerRocks

In case anyone still reads “there’s no place like home” Jean just wrote a whole post about why they had to distance themselves from Sarah ... gasp. I guess there’s that!

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ILoveJellybeans

Dying to hear Sarah's side of the story. I imagine their house is kind of like an orphanage but with better food and more trips out. No parent could possibly pay attention to all those kids, especially when they adopted them all so fast that they probably had no time to bond with them before getting the next one.

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Queen Of Hearts
Posted (edited)
19 hours ago, SummerRocks said:

In case anyone still reads “there’s no place like home” Jean just wrote a whole post about why they had to distance themselves from Sarah ... gasp. I guess there’s that!

I missed that. What was her reasoning?

Nevermind - I see it is a brand new post! Thanks for the heads up.

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PlentyOfJesusFishInTheSea

Jean's post is really sad. I don't know a lot about RAD but I think it can strike in smaller families too, no?

It made me think about 5Kids 6 Months. They don't seem to update their blog or Facebook anymore. I really wonder how they're doing as they started adopting kids with larger physical challenges...

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SummerRocks

I feel super sad for Sarah, I have seen Sarah’s Facebook page (which seems to come and disappear again) She seems to have a boyfriend, and this boyfriends  family seemed really loving towards her. A bunch of the bio kids were Facebook friends with Sarah for a while as was the aunt that’s “often” mentioned, but last I checked all those people were no longer friends with exception of one of the bio boys. 

I hope Sarah agreed on having this post on Jeans public blog. That’s quite the invasion of privacy if Sarah did not agree with this. 

My - sad - prediction is that more of the adopted children will chose the path Sarah is on, RAD related or not. 

9 hours ago, ILoveJellybeans said:

Dying to hear Sarah's side of the story. I imagine their house is kind of like an orphanage but with better food and more trips out. No parent could possibly pay attention to all those kids, especially when they adopted them all so fast that they probably had no time to bond with them before getting the next one.

Yes yes so much this! Especially since the last few years Jean says how “poor” they are now and have to take advantage of charity (for food and trips) The kids that have been adopted the longest sure knew another life in their first years with the Mulvahill.

I also wonder what Sarah was lying about according to Jean ... also wonder why Jim had to be convinced of Jeans thought process ... as per post.

So many thoughts 

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Ozlsn
22 hours ago, ILoveJellybeans said:

Dying to hear Sarah's side of the story. I imagine their house is kind of like an orphanage but with better food and more trips out. No parent could possibly pay attention to all those kids, especially when they adopted them all so fast that they probably had no time to bond with them before getting the next one.

But according to Jean her adult child "does not  perceive things accurately". I have no idea if Sarah has ongoing issues from her adoption but I have to say that sentence struck me as quite gaslighting.

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dianapavelovna

I am extremely skeptical about everything in Jean's recent post - which is obviously about Sarah, although she doesn't name her. (I also seriously doubt she asked for Sarah's permission to post, particularly since they apparently don't have much/any contact these days). How interesting that RAD is not an issue or noticed at all until the child is an adult and pulls away from the parents in what certainly appears to be a developmentally appropriate way. How interesting that Jean appears to have diagnosed her adult child with a mental health disorder - not, you know, a professional who has met and evaluated said adult child.

I was reminded of times when Jean has referenced how they wanted to "do things differently" when they adopted, for example, they weren't going to let any of the adopted kids participate in really time intensive activities like travel sports because they'd "already done that" with the bio kids and it was too time consuming and tiring.

I also remember a post that was a typical recount of their recent activities, including gymnastics classes. Jean mentioned that Sarah really wanted to join a competitive gym team, but she and Jim didn't want her to. I don't remember if they ultimately let her or not. But if they maintained that restrictive approach as Sarah reached 18 & beyond, I can only imagine that she chafed at it.

Anyway, dear Sarah Mulvahill, if you read this, I hope you are happy and have the love and support you need.

Finally, I didn't peruse closely, but the sources/references Jean linked to in the post seemed to be of the questionable sort. I saw Forrest Lien's name at one site. Read up on him here.

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Wisteria_sister

Jean’s post is so suspect. Diagnosing a 20-something without any kind of actual medical treatment. Having to convince her husband that Sarah is a liar. 
 

Imagine being Sarah. You’re one of the first adoptees and closest in age to the bio kids. As far as evidenced on the blog and social, Sarah does not have any mental or physical health challenges that would inhibit independence or further education. You see your older siblings play travel sports, go to college, pursue advanced degrees, etc. You’re told you’re a daughter too, but there’s no room in the budget for you to do those things AND you’re meant to be second mom to like 15 other kids and your mom keeps bringing home more kids with more special needs to the point that you’re basically in a dorm not a family. She even went to China a few times  to interpret for Jean. Pretty clear she was sister morning a lot of these kids. So, you finally grow up and it’s crystal clear that you’re not going to be afforded any of the autonomy or educational opportunities of the bio kids. You’re sleeping in bunk beds and shared rooms even though you’re an adult and high school graduate. Wouldn’t you have some resentment? Maybe act out?

 

Jean treated Sarah and the other kids as second class citizens compared to the bio kids and now, when maybe Sarah has different thoughts on her future than Jean did or maybe she even engaged in some rebellious behavior, Jean has written her off and retro fit some psychological diagnosis to explain why Sarah is bad and Jean is good, entirely ignoring that Sarah is supposed to be her daughter too. Is this how she’d treat a bio kid in the same circumstances? Hard to imagine. 
 

I find it extremely difficult to give any credence to Jean’s account here. I have a lot of sympathy for Sarah. It looks like she’s trying to make friends outside the family and work as a nanny. I hope she is able to find opportunities and live a happy, adult life. Jean seems awfully quick to wash her hands of a child that she allegedly raised. 


The whole thing is sickening and I hope that Sarah is able to lead a happy, healthy life. 

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