I'm Missing the Crazy Adoption Threads

[Maggie Mae]

On 5/8/2020 at 10:02 AM, keepercjr said:

 I can't remember what it was but I do remember finding it completely unremarkable to the point of not even having a profile picture. 

She hasn't posted anything on her facebook publicly in years. No photos. 17 friends, none who share her last name or look like they could be her parents or a sibling or anything. 

On 5/8/2020 at 10:02 AM, keepercjr said:

It is bizarre.  What is weird is that if you search the county records for that house APN, a different set of names comes up.  She is not listed anywhere as even a resident of that house.  Google searches of the address show addiction recovery as being residents.  I had always presumed she bought the house but maybe she was renting. 

She mentioned on her blog that she got a good deal because it used to be a group home, and the property records line up with that. But she apparently hired someone to remove any mention of her online, including in public records. The group home is now "permanently closed."

Looking through her old blogs, it's just so depressing. She kept them from services they needed (school) so they would be dependent on her. 

[keepercjr]

34 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

She hasn't posted anything on her facebook publicly in years. No photos. 17 friends, none who share her last name or look like they could be her parents or a sibling or anything. 

She mentioned on her blog that she got a good deal because it used to be a group home, and the property records line up with that. But she apparently hired someone to remove any mention of her online, including in public records. The group home is now "permanently closed."

Looking through her old blogs, it's just so depressing. She kept them from services they needed (school) so they would be dependent on her. 

I don't think I was even aware that you could hire someone to effectively make you disappear online.  Makes sense.  She still has old videos on youtube but that is all I could find.  I really want to drive by but it is like 10-15 min away from my home and I have no reason to go by there since I m not visiting that family member (or anyone else) right now.  It isn't in a direction I would normally go in except to visit my family member.  I am really worried about her kids.  Part of me wonders if she even has custody of any of them (or maybe just Apple). 

[Maggie Mae]

24 minutes ago, keepercjr said:

I don't think I was even aware that you could hire someone to effectively make you disappear online.  Makes sense. 

If you know what you are doing, you can do it yourself, but it's time consuming. I imagine that she either paid someone to do it, or called in a favor with a friend, as kimi never seemed too tech savy. She also had a breakdown over mail, so I just don't see her putting in requests to hide her name to all the different agencies. 

24 minutes ago, keepercjr said:

Part of me wonders if she even has custody of any of them (or maybe just Apple). 

There was a record on the fresno court website regarding her name and a conservatorship. However, the middle name is also the same middle name (and lastname) as a doctor in that area. 

"Sissy" turned 18 in 2017, she would be 21 now. 

I've read through so many posts of the firefighter (captain, recently retired), his friends and relatives, basically anyone who might have known kimi, and there is nothing. If not for the way back machine, I'd question if they ever existed. At one point she had cats, 4 dogs, and four kids. I completely understand why the firefighter wanted no part of that. He's currently living his best life, hiking, drinking wines and beers, has a lady who seems less straight up weird. 

Sorry, went off topic. He's not exactly a liberal person (called the shelter in place stuff BS, pretty conservative), but he seems to care about people and animals, and not in a collector way, like kimi. 

I worry about those kids (apple would be 8ish, and everyone else adults or close) and the animals, and even kimi to an extent. She was ridiculous, but fascinating. 

[Queen Of Hearts]

The Fireman would have been a mandated reporter, would he not?  Just speculation, but could something have happened that he would have reported her for?  I don't know her last name or else I would be sleuthing like crazy right now because her vanishing is just fascinating to me.

[Maggie Mae]

2 hours ago, Queen Of Hearts said:

The Fireman would have been a mandated reporter, would he not?  Just speculation, but could something have happened that he would have reported her for?  I don't know her last name or else I would be sleuthing like crazy right now because her vanishing is just fascinating to me.

It should be easy to find her last name, just reading through her threads here - try page six of the first "jerk adaptive mother" thread.  I'd just tell you, but I have no idea what the rules are about a fundie who used to have every thing online but now doesn't.  

[Maggie Mae]

Is this "sissy?" 

Spoiler

[helenprev]

2 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

Is this "sissy?" 

  Hide contents

It certainly looks very like her! I hope it is and she is happy.

[Stormy]

2 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

Is this "sissy?" 

  Hide contents

It does look like her!! Seconding @helenprev, I hope this means she's at least living a normal life (or has the skills to do so). Not going to lie, the prospect of this would make me really happy.

[Maggie Mae]

1 hour ago, Stormy said:

It does look like her!! Seconding @helenprev, I hope this means she's at least living a normal life (or has the skills to do so). Not going to lie, the prospect of this would make me really happy.

Looking through the details of the court case (If that insta is "sissy" i'm confident to say that it's definitely Kimi's case, names and timeline match up), something happened. But I'm not certain I"m reading it correctly - the case was dismissed, "Sissy" was appointed a temporary guardian and a lawyer, and the case was dismissed. But also "filed?" IDK I'm not a lawyer and my own state's courtview is much less "private" which kind of makes me want to move to California, they seem to have actual laws regarding privacy. 

 

[Queen Of Hearts]

3 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

Looking through the details of the court case (If that insta is "sissy" i'm confident to say that it's definitely Kimi's case, names and timeline match up), something happened. But I'm not certain I"m reading it correctly - the case was dismissed, "Sissy" was appointed a temporary guardian and a lawyer, and the case was dismissed. But also "filed?" IDK I'm not a lawyer and my own state's courtview is much less "private" which kind of makes me want to move to California, they seem to have actual laws regarding privacy. 

 

Well done with your sleuthing!  Can you tell the date of the court case?  I am wondering if the dates coincide with when she went dark online?  

 

[Maggie Mae]

7 minutes ago, Queen Of Hearts said:

Well done with your sleuthing!  Can you tell the date of the court case?  I am wondering if the dates coincide with when she went dark online?  

 

They do. Her last post was the one about Apple being a kindergartner, which I think was August 2017, this court case was September/October 2017. 

[Queen Of Hearts]

What I wonder is if there was some kind of case involving Kimi and Sissy and Sissy had her own lawyer, I wonder if CPS was involved in any way? Perhaps all the kids were removed, which would certainly be motivation for Kimi to go dark.  Or maybe that is just wishful thinking on my part. (I don't normally advocate the removal of kids except in terrible circumstances, but the things Kimi used to write about those kids really makes me think she was even worse to them in person.)

[Maggie Mae]

1 hour ago, Queen Of Hearts said:

What I wonder is if there was some kind of case involving Kimi and Sissy and Sissy had her own lawyer, I wonder if CPS was involved in any way? Perhaps all the kids were removed, which would certainly be motivation for Kimi to go dark.  Or maybe that is just wishful thinking on my part. (I don't normally advocate the removal of kids except in terrible circumstances, but the things Kimi used to write about those kids really makes me think she was even worse to them in person.)

I don't know California laws, but in other states they tend to appoint a lawyer to the person who is the conservatee. Plus it looks like Kimi filed to be "sissy's" conservator, and represented herself. She did get her court fees waived, so I don't know what magic she has. So I don't think, based on my very limited evidence, that CPS was involved.

[Queen Of Hearts]

7 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

I don't know California laws, but in other states they tend to appoint a lawyer to the person who is the conservatee. Plus it looks like Kimi filed to be "sissy's" conservator, and represented herself. She did get her court fees waived, so I don't know what magic she has. So I don't think, based on my very limited evidence, that CPS was involved.

Ugh. I was so hopeful. 

[Stormy]

3 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

I don't know California laws, but in other states they tend to appoint a lawyer to the person who is the conservatee. Plus it looks like Kimi filed to be "sissy's" conservator, and represented herself. She did get her court fees waived, so I don't know what magic she has. So I don't think, based on my very limited evidence, that CPS was involved.

IRC, what finally tipped FJ off after following Kimi for so long was that she posted about an incident where she and the "firefighter" were dragging "Sissy" from the front lawn to back inside the house, implicating that "Sissy" was trying to leave and was being prevented from doing so. As "Sissy" was definitely eighteen by then, this would be illegal and grounds for raising the alarm. (Kimi hadn't done any technically-illegal up until this point, just cruel.) That would make sense that Kimi was trying to apply for a conservatorship of her daughter -- arguing that "Sissy" was disabled, disturbed, or whatever -- to both cover her ass and keep "Sissy" under her control. Regardless of if there had been intervention (by Adult Protective Services, perhaps), something moved Kimi to do this. As we know, the conservatorship was denied, presumably leaving "Sissy" free to go.

Speaking of which, I took some info from the case after I looked it up myself and I am 110% sure I found "Sissy's" Facebook page. She is at least semi-active with her last public post being from late April, and the profile picture from the IG is among her available photos. Most of her content appears to very private, but there is enough to derive some interesting information:

1. "Sissy" visited China in October of 2017, which would have been shortly after the court case ended. What's strange is that she's elected to post what look to be old pictures of herself from before she got adopted, which don't look to be anything Kimi has posted before. I don't know how she would have had the means to travel to and from China without help, or what her motivation was beyond just going for a visit. Perhaps it was impulse and she assumed she could go find a home there.
2. She is likely living with another family. Her current banner picture has her in a winter-themed family portrait with a very Mormon-looking family and another Chinese girl. The only comment on the picture is someone asking "Sissy" if she's living with them, which got no response. ("Sissy" doesn't appear to engage much, unless it's private.) If it's of interest, the commenter appears to be a fellow China adoptee.
3. "Sissy" is still connected with the Church of Latter-Day Saints, which is likely where she found relief and resources after breaking away from Kimi. I looked through the profiles of who was liking/loving her photos in the hopes of identifying the family she's supposedly with, but I gave up after the dozenth generic white family with 5+ kids. It would be interesting to see if there's a specific church she's involved with, which I hope would allow her to meet more people and gain practical skills.

I'm not sure if it would be appropriate or not to directly refer others to the profile, though it's very easy to find once you know her legal name (which is much nicer than "Sissy," thank God). All I really tried to confirm was any evidence that she's okay and happy, which I'm sure is the common goal. It looks like she's still dependent on others to an extent, but that's okay (and frankly not too out there for a twenty-one year old nowadays). For now, it looks like she's at least safe from Kimi and out of that awful situation, which is fantastic.

[keepercjr]

Wow yep that is her on Facebook.  I am so glad she broke away.  I hope that this new family will give her the love and care she deserves.  And maybe she will realize that she is much smarter than Kimi les her to believe.  I don’t know how to read those court records either.

[freejugar]

I'm really glad Sissy is ok. She's had a rough life and she deserves happiness.

Is the middle girl an adult now? is she still with Kimi?

[DarkAnts]

Sissy looks so normal and pretty in the picture posted. She looks nothing like she did when she was with Kimi. I think Kimi gave her bad haircuts to help make her look disabled. Sissy was definitely smarter than Kimi let posters think. She contacted friends in China over the internet. She disabled the alarms Kimi had put on her door. We will never know exactly what disabilities she has. I would not be surprised if she developed PTSD from living with Kimi. 
 

I hope the other girls are ok. We will likely never know if CPS got involved with the younger ones. I suspect they may have if Sissy told the court what Kimi did to her.

[dharmapunk]

I am happy to hear that "Sissy" managed to get away from that awful situation. I hope that CPS got involved and the other three girls are safe.

[Four is Enough]

This is a semi rant... I am an adoptive parent. I've had three successful adoptions (3 and 4 came as a package) and a failed adoption, and countless ads in the paper, prospective leads, home studies, (we still have a thermometer in our refrigerator)  telling everyone we knew what we hoped to do, phone calls, (one woman said to me, "I have an appointment for an abortion tomorrow. Convince me not to do it.". I couldn't.) 

My question is this: How in the HELL do these people get children so quickly, so easily, and with so little oversight? I felt like every aspect of our life,  marriage, home, and relationships was under intense scrutiny. We jumped through hoops like mad to be able to adopt our kids. It didn't end, either, once the adoption was finalized.

[dharmapunk]

13 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

This is a semi rant... I am an adoptive parent. I've had three successful adoptions (3 and 4 came as a package) and a failed adoption, and countless ads in the paper, prospective leads, home studies, (we still have a thermometer in our refrigerator)  telling everyone we knew what we hoped to do, phone calls, (one woman said to me, "I have an appointment for an abortion tomorrow. Convince me not to do it.". I couldn't.) 

My question is this: How in the HELL do these people get children so quickly, so easily, and with so little oversight? I felt like every aspect of our life,  marriage, home, and relationships was under intense scrutiny. We jumped through hoops like mad to be able to adopt our kids. It didn't end, either, once the adoption was finalized.

I am in the process of becoming licensed to be a foster carer (or I was before Covid19 stopped everything). I have been thinking the same!  The home visits, psychologist's assessments, classes, endless paperwork... social services are taking this VERY seriously - and rightfully so, even though I am finding the process very uncomfortable. I feel like a bug under a microscope. I try to stay motivated by telling myself that they have to do it to rule out the Kimis. At least I hope that someone as crazy as Kimi would not be able to adopt or become a foster carer where I live.

Edited May 19, 2020 by dharmapunk

[Petronella]

2 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

home studies, (we still have a thermometer in our refrigerator)

It sounds like an enormously challenging process. Kudos to you for getting through it three times!

Can you explain the thermometer in the fridge? Is that an essential part of being found fit for parenthood??

[Stormy]

1 hour ago, Four is Enough said:

This is a semi rant... I am an adoptive parent. I've had three successful adoptions (3 and 4 came as a package) and a failed adoption, and countless ads in the paper, prospective leads, home studies, (we still have a thermometer in our refrigerator)  telling everyone we knew what we hoped to do, phone calls, (one woman said to me, "I have an appointment for an abortion tomorrow. Convince me not to do it.". I couldn't.) 

My question is this: How in the HELL do these people get children so quickly, so easily, and with so little oversight? I felt like every aspect of our life,  marriage, home, and relationships was under intense scrutiny. We jumped through hoops like mad to be able to adopt our kids. It didn't end, either, once the adoption was finalized.

I'd like to know this, too, as someone who's considering adoption (though I'm not sure how lucky I'll get as someone who's LGBTQ, autistic, and will likely pursue it as a single person...).

Your anecdotes reminded me of the stories my 75+ year-old former coworker told me, since she herself was adopted. Her adoptive mother kept the house immaculate and lived in fear for years that her daughter would be taken away; she made it sound like there was a period where the adoption could fall through after the fact, but she may have just been describing foster care and social workers. It certainly wasn't the narrative I'd been sold about older adoptions where babies were placed quickly and discreetly. (She was also very informed of her adoption and it wasn't a source of shame for her.) I guess it's never been easy.

I remember that it took a while for Kimi to adopt her first daughter, as evidenced by the multitude of blog posts documenting the dossiers, paperwork, and home studies. Afterwards, it was a bizarre landslide with the three other girls. It's strange considering a lot of countries got more strict with international adoption after such instances of child-collecting became more public; China's was recent enough for Kimi to write about it before she even started. One weird detail was that they (allegedly) offered to prioritize her adoption of a much sought-after baby/toddler if she adopted an older child first, which I think is bizarre and probably embellished.

On a more wholesome note, @Four is Enough, I know you've detailed some of your experiences on here before, so disregard if you don't wish to repeat yourself or share a particular thing: is there anything you'd recommend to someone looking to adopt, whether it's preparation, self-reflection, or something to look out for? It really sounds like a grueling process, and I'm happy that you were able to have successful placements.

[Maggie Mae]

57 minutes ago, Petronella said:

It sounds like an enormously challenging process. Kudos to you for getting through it three times!

Can you explain the thermometer in the fridge? Is that an essential part of being found fit for parenthood??

I'm not @Four is Enough but the thermometer is to check fridge temperature. We aren't trying to adopt and we have one for basic food safety. I thought it was normal?  You don't want your refrigerator to enter the danger zone (41-140/4.4-60).

[Petronella]

37 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

I'm not @Four is Enough but the thermometer is to check fridge temperature. We aren't trying to adopt and we have one for basic food safety. I thought it was normal?  You don't want your refrigerator to enter the danger zone (41-140/4.4-60).

Well, our current one has a digital temperature readout as standard, but I don’t recall our old pre-digital refrigerators having one I ever noticed. But the way she wrote about was as if it were specifically for the adoption process. That level of nitpickiness seems horrifyingly intimidating!