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I'm Missing the Crazy Adoption Threads


katilac

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On 2/6/2020 at 12:11 AM, squiddysquid said:

Can't figure out how to quote from other threads, so here's a link and a screenshot from the blog post.

It's downright scary and when I klicked on her blog link just now it said the privacy changed to invited readers only.

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/29427-adoptive-mothers-3-women-who-dont-deserve-mothers-day/page/14/#comments

mimi.jpg

That is absolutely insane. I have no doubt Kimmie truly feels at the end of her rope with no hope. BUT to be that is the writing of someone who should not be around those kids. I will NEVER understand how she claims her children are special needs, when she really has done nothing. I homeschool, but her kids should have been in public/private school where they had access to para-educators and ESL classes, school nurses, and counselors. The fact that she refuses to put them into services or public school really makes me think they are acting out simply because of her neglect/abuse. I'm sure they have some level of special needs, be it mental, physical, or educational, but it's so heightened by Kimmie's insanity. Poor JieJie. That little girl should have been a well loved child, given the help she needed. But Kimmie ignored her as soon as she wasn't perfect and went off to find her perfect baby. So sad. 

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We had a foster daughter for 2 years, during which time we were working to adopt her. We also had our first two children.  FD's problems were so great that they nearly broke up my marriage, and t

IRC, what finally tipped FJ off after following Kimi for so long was that she posted about an incident where she and the "firefighter" were dragging "Sissy" from the front lawn to back inside the hous

This is a semi rant... I am an adoptive parent. I've had three successful adoptions (3 and 4 came as a package) and a failed adoption, and countless ads in the paper, prospective leads, home studies,

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I do miss the old blogs, i was sad when they fell out of fashion. We have youtube now but its not the same, i think people shared a lot more in writting.

From youtube i only follow Crazy Pieces and Crazy Middles (the moms from both families are sisters), maybe check them out. The mom from Crazy Pieces is currently pregnant with a surrogate baby, i think its her 3 time having a baby for others. I do find her fascinating, like i dont understand why a person would be willing to be a surrogate for others (and she truly doesnt seem to be doing it for the money) at the same time she advocates for foster care and adoption and its what she is doing herself to grow her own family.

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PurpleCats
On 2/20/2020 at 6:39 PM, Shiny said:

That is absolutely insane. I have no doubt Kimmie truly feels at the end of her rope with no hope. BUT to be that is the writing of someone who should not be around those kids. I will NEVER understand how she claims her children are special needs, when she really has done nothing. I homeschool, but her kids should have been in public/private school where they had access to para-educators and ESL classes, school nurses, and counselors. The fact that she refuses to put them into services or public school really makes me think they are acting out simply because of her neglect/abuse. I'm sure they have some level of special needs, be it mental, physical, or educational, but it's so heightened by Kimmie's insanity. Poor JieJie. That little girl should have been a well loved child, given the help she needed. But Kimmie ignored her as soon as she wasn't perfect and went off to find her perfect baby. So sad. 

I was hoping this wasn’t fencingmama... but of course it is.  How does a post like that NOT get your kids taken away?  She is clearly abusive and in over her head. 

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katilac
On 2/21/2020 at 8:40 AM, llucie said:

I do miss the old blogs, i was sad when they fell out of fashion. We have youtube now but its not the same, i think people shared a lot more in writting.

From youtube i only follow Crazy Pieces and Crazy Middles (the moms from both families are sisters), maybe check them out. 

I'm not super patient about watching videos, but maybe I'll give them a try. At least the comment section 😄

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16 hours ago, PurpleCats said:

I was hoping this wasn’t fencingmama... but of course it is.  How does a post like that NOT get your kids taken away?  She is clearly abusive and in over her head. 

I don't know. She must have felt safe enough to post it though, so there wasn't much fear of being reported (unless maybe she was hoping someone would). I've never wanted anything to do IRL with any of the people we follow here, or find out personal information, but this is the one case where I wish someone could contact local help. 

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PurpleCats

@Shiny I agree!  I don’t want to know her, just that the girls are safe. You bring up an interesting point - I lean toward her post as a subliminal cry for help and to have the girls taken away.  

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JermajestyDuggar

I had a thought that has likely come up before but I’ll share anyway. 

When children are adopted overseas, sometimes they do actually have one or two parents. But they cannot take care of them due to issues like money, support, medical needs, etc. How do fundies justify taking those children away from their parents to a new country? When most fundies are anti-CPS and anti-government involvement. They are so quick to jump on the GFM pages of homeschooling fundies who have their children taken away by CPS but then take children away from the only country they know. Why not take all that money they spend on international adoption and give it to charities in those countries that help families who can’t pay for those medical costs for their children? It goes against everything they seem to stand for in the US. I guess all that goes out the window when they get to play white Christian savior. 

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apandaaries
4 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I had a thought that has likely come up before but I’ll share anyway. 

When children are adopted overseas, sometimes they do actually have one or two parents. But they cannot take care of them due to issues like money, support, medical needs, etc. How do fundies justify taking those children away from their parents to a new country? When most fundies are anti-CPS and anti-government involvement. They are so quick to jump on the GFM pages of homeschooling fundies who have their children taken away by CPS but then take children away from the only country they know. Why not take all that money they spend on international adoption and give it to charities in those countries that help families who can’t pay for those medical costs for their children? It goes against everything they seem to stand for in the US. I guess all that goes out the window when they get to play white Christian savior. 

Kathryn Joyce has reported on these types of adoptions. They justify it by saying the adoptive parents will lead the adopted children to Jesus;  therefore everything else, including taking a baby or child from loving but poor parents, is A ok.

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6 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I had a thought that has likely come up before but I’ll share anyway. 

When children are adopted overseas, sometimes they do actually have one or two parents. But they cannot take care of them due to issues like money, support, medical needs, etc. How do fundies justify taking those children away from their parents to a new country? When most fundies are anti-CPS and anti-government involvement. They are so quick to jump on the GFM pages of homeschooling fundies who have their children taken away by CPS but then take children away from the only country they know. Why not take all that money they spend on international adoption and give it to charities in those countries that help families who can’t pay for those medical costs for their children? It goes against everything they seem to stand for in the US. I guess all that goes out the window when they get to play white Christian savior. 

It’s also worth pointing out that in some cases, the bio parents don’t actually understand what adoption is, in a legal sense (deliberately misinformed?). They think it’s temporary, like sending your kid to boarding school or to stay with a relative for a couple of years where they’ll get better opportunities and you can get back on your feet. So they sign away parental rights without realising it means they won’t see their kid(s) again.

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A couple I know adopted their younger son from Africa when he was primary-school aged. They’re still not certain of his true chronological age: he’s in eighth grade and is taller and looks considerably more mature than other boys in his grade. The family has contact with his African relatives, and is learning that the African (sorry—I can’t remember which country the boy is from) view of adoption is much different from ours: Now that they consider the boy’s adoptive parents “family,” they are expecting some kind of financial generosity from them, which they aren’t in a position to provide. The boy is disconcerted and conflicted about this, and is disinclined to take up his adoptive parents up on their offer to take him to visit his home country.

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DarkAnts

Kimmie was the worst. She would not let the girls talk to each other unless she was present. Sissy was clearly more fictional than  Kimmie wanted her readers to believe. She had contacted family and friends on Facebook, she had found ways to get around the alarms Kimmie set up. I hope all of the girls are free from Kimmie. She was not fit to be their parent. 
 

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squiddysquid
2 hours ago, DarkAnts said:

Kimmie was the worst. She would not let the girls talk to each other unless she was present. Sissy was clearly more fictional than  Kimmie wanted her readers to believe. She had contacted family and friends on Facebook, she had found ways to get around the alarms Kimmie set up. I hope all of the girls are free from Kimmie. She was not fit to be their parent. 
 

Yes I don't believe that their cognitive deficits are as bad as that monster made them out to be. She definitely stunted them and wouldn't allow to keep in touch with their friends back home either or speak Chinese. Ref flags all over.

Sissy was obviously skilled enough to use a computer write read even when she arrived in the Us

 

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Stormy

It's been a while since I've commented on this site at all, so I apologize if there's any disconnect on my behalf. I'm glad to know I'm not the only person who still thinks about this.

Long before the old thread died, there was some discussion about Kimmie and how her pride and joy used to be running a legitimate daycare out of her home, which she advertised as publicly as you would any business with a website, reviews, and means of contact. While she didn't leave a visible link on her blog or anything, she'd mentioned it enough times that it was easy to find her full name and location (including her full address). There was even a member who lived minutes away and was convinced they'd (unintentionally) seen some of the girls while driving by.

Anyway, I'd drawn attention specifically to the contents of the website, namely 1) the information above, 2) that Kimmie was around more kids, and 3) that she'd advertised Sissy as being her "right hand" who helped her run the place (which is a whole other discussion). Shortly after, I was private-messaged by a (now-inactive) member about what other information I had. They were intending to file a formal report to social services. I told them what I knew, which was public knowledge and wasn't much beyond Kimmie's city and state. They thanked me and ended the interaction.

I can't remember how long it was between that conversation and when Kimmie finally went dark. I didn't know that person too well, but they always had thoughtful, grounded responses and I'm confident that they followed through if they said they would. Frankly, I regret not doing so myself; I remember checking back to her blog even if it had been months since the last update in the hopes of confirming the girls were okay.

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Stormy

I know this is a back-to-back post, but something came up that I think is probably relevant.

Anyone familiar with Myka Stauffer/The Stauffer Life on YouTube? Myka and Jim Stauffer are lifestyle/family YouTubers who are famous for Myka's "Clean With Me" videos and for the adoption of their fourth child, Huxley. They haven't uploaded a vlog to their family channel since January, but Myka has uploaded numerous cleaning/mom-related videos to her personal channel. Huxley, now four-and-a-half, was adopted from China in October of 2017 at the age of 2 after a lengthy saga that was documented by Myka in the months leading up to bringing him home (including China's changing policies of adoption that nearly derailed the process).

Details about Myka's character, Huxley's background, and events leading up to now below the cut:

Spoiler

Myka talked extensively about bringing Huxley home for nearly a year, notably netting lots more views, subscribers, and sponsorships along the way. While she and her husband had clearly done some research and were very emotionally invested, she still appeared to have a very rosy picture of what adoption would be like. She had a grasp on attachment/cocooning and had a plan for what she was going to do for her son, but it seemed somewhat limited to what she was comfortable with. She's known for acting before thinking, which has affected the course her channel has taken as well as her personal life overall (the conception of her first two kids, going on restrictive diets and back, announcing videos that don't get made, announcing they're adopting again and then not doing it, joining a pyramid scheme, etc...). Annoyingly (at least to me), Myka's also one of these people who obsesses and coos over "babies" and "kiddos" in an infantile, almost objectifying way when talking about any family-related topics as though they're never going to grow up or that the dynamic would ever change.

Interestingly, Myka and Jim went in knowing full well that Huxley had special needs. He was thought to have an actual brain tumor based on information from China the Stauffers had prior, but this was later determined to be false. Upon his assessment in the US, Huxley was diagnosed with unspecified brain damage and Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 3, which is considered the most "severe" end of the spectrum. He is nonverbal and has been said to "scream hundreds of times a day" according to the family. He has also struggled to bond with them (surprise) and especially so with Myka, which she was/is not handling well. She has made a few posts on Instagram vaguely addressing that they've been struggling with him, and the last one regarding that topic (or Huxley, at all) was back in February and was tagged #reactiveattachmentdisorder. The things is that, apparently, a child cannot be formally diagnosed with RAD if they also have Autism, the latter which Jim has openly doubted Huxley has in one of their last vlogs.

In April, Jim Stauffer updated their main Instagram about how they were sharing fewer vlogs of their kids due to some things "behind the scenes" that they've been dealing with as a family. Meanwhile, Myka continues to regularly upload scripted videos to her personal channel and make glitzy, heavily-sponsored posts to her Instagram as though nothing is wrong.

tl;dr: Huxley ended up having different special needs than advertised, and generally wasn't quite what the Stauffer family expected (in some ways reasonable, and some not). Myka and Jim Stauffer are having a hard time with it.

Despite a drop in vlogs, the Stauffer kids are still present through cameos on Myka's channel. Since about a year after being adopted, Huxley has been featured less and less often compared to their other four (biological) children, to the point where he appears to have fallen completely off the radar.* As a lot of people followed the Stauffers out of interest for Huxley, there were a lot of comments asking where he was and how he was doing. Myka, who's usually known for her consistent engagement, is either ignoring or, allegedly, deleting any and all comments mentioning him. This is especially weird because these are mostly non-snarky comments from fans that genuinely care about the family, and it's all-around a bad look. This has led to speculation that the Stauffers have rehomed Huxley, or otherwise removed their adopted son from their home. It's one thing to give a kid more privacy, but 1) this is a YouTube family, and 2) they haven't made an attempt to dispell rumors at all, which suggests there's a grain of truth to them. This is overall disturbing and sad, especially for a kid who had a really difficult time being uprooted from China and adjusting to his new family.

*Huxley's last appearance was in a cleaning video that Myka posted about two weeks ago, which may or may not have been pre-recorded well in advance. A timeline for when this took place could be gauged by comparing the age of his adoptive younger brother who was also present in the clip, and who is also ten months old as of today.

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keepercjr
On 4/27/2020 at 7:32 PM, Stormy said:

It's been a while since I've commented on this site at all, so I apologize if there's any disconnect on my behalf. I'm glad to know I'm not the only person who still thinks about this.

Long before the old thread died, there was some discussion about Kimmie and how her pride and joy used to be running a legitimate daycare out of her home, which she advertised as publicly as you would any business with a website, reviews, and means of contact. While she didn't leave a visible link on her blog or anything, she'd mentioned it enough times that it was easy to find her full name and location (including her full address). There was even a member who lived minutes away and was convinced they'd (unintentionally) seen some of the girls while driving by.

 

I am the one that lives locally to Kimmie.  Her house is on the way to a family member's house and very near a main road (the fire station is on the main road). Yes I did see some of the kids when driving to my family member's house one day.  I hope that person did follow through with CPS.  Kimmie has gone totally silent.  I don't even think she is blogging anymore.

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Queen Of Hearts
On 5/6/2020 at 5:21 PM, keepercjr said:

I am the one that lives locally to Kimmie.  Her house is on the way to a family member's house and very near a main road (the fire station is on the main road). Yes I did see some of the kids when driving to my family member's house one day.  I hope that person did follow through with CPS.  Kimmie has gone totally silent.  I don't even think she is blogging anymore.

Does she still live in the same location? Still run a daycare out if her home? (I don't need identifying details... just curious if anything has changed besides the fireman leaving).

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Maggie Mae
57 minutes ago, Queen Of Hearts said:

Does she still live in the same location? Still run a daycare out if her home? (I don't need identifying details... just curious if anything has changed besides the fireman leaving).

I did a deep dive on Kimi a month or two ago - the house at her address has the owner hidden under a California Law regarding public servants and famous people. There is no current daycare license under her name.  I almost wish she'd moved back to the bay area, there were a lot more resources for her, and she had friends. It's so weird that she doesn't appear to have siblings or parents or even friends. 

The fireman and her broke up, he's got a new lady as of several years ago, I suspect they were recently married. I just went to look for him again to confirm that, but I forgot how to spell his last name again and don't feel like looking for it right now.  

I've looked  (in the past, I had a job with a ton of downtime) to see if any of the girls show up under local to them organizations, schools, and places she mentioned in the past. I've looked to see if kimi is still commenting on blogs that she used to, and I've got nothing. Short of flying down and showing up on her doorstep (which would be weird, creeeeepy and probably against FJ rules, not to mention, way beyond my comfort level of gathering information) I have no idea. It's like she completely vanished off the internet. 

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keepercjr
12 hours ago, Queen Of Hearts said:

Does she still live in the same location? Still run a daycare out if her home? (I don't need identifying details... just curious if anything has changed besides the fireman leaving).

I don't know if she still lives there but I am presuming so.  There is no daycare that I have been able to find under her name or resembling the old one.  She has absolutely ZERO online now except for stuff many years old.  I haven't driven by in several months now but even when I do, she lives just off the main road so I can't actually see her house easily unless I am specifically looking.  And I haven't looked in a long time.  I only saw the girls that one time.  She used to belong to a homeschool Facebook group I was part of (I figured out her facebook profile).  I can't remember what it was but I do remember finding it completely unremarkable to the point of not even having a profile picture. 

11 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

I did a deep dive on Kimi a month or two ago - the house at her address has the owner hidden under a California Law regarding public servants and famous people. There is no current daycare license under her name.  I almost wish she'd moved back to the bay area, there were a lot more resources for her, and she had friends. It's so weird that she doesn't appear to have siblings or parents or even friends. 

The fireman and her broke up, he's got a new lady as of several years ago, I suspect they were recently married. I just went to look for him again to confirm that, but I forgot how to spell his last name again and don't feel like looking for it right now.  

I've looked  (in the past, I had a job with a ton of downtime) to see if any of the girls show up under local to them organizations, schools, and places she mentioned in the past. I've looked to see if kimi is still commenting on blogs that she used to, and I've got nothing. Short of flying down and showing up on her doorstep (which would be weird, creeeeepy and probably against FJ rules, not to mention, way beyond my comfort level of gathering information) I have no idea. It's like she completely vanished off the internet. 

It is bizarre.  What is weird is that if you search the county records for that house APN, a different set of names comes up.  She is not listed anywhere as even a resident of that house.  Google searches of the address show addiction recovery as being residents.  I had always presumed she bought the house but maybe she was renting. 

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ifosterkittens

Does anyone follow the blog There's No Place Like Home? Jean Mulvahill and her husband (don't know his name) had five biological children, and then proceeded to adopt 17 children. They adopted 15 of the 17 from China, and the other two adoptions appear to be children adopted from China by another family, and adopted domestically by the Mulvahills. On Jean's May 3, 2020 Shelter in Place post in the comments one person wrote:  

" Zanmei said... Billy and Kelly got Sarah now? Glad you are all doing well during these strange times! May 5, 2020 at 11:32 PM." 

Jean has not responded to the comment. 

In the post Jean wrote "We had a family distance gathering! It's heartwarming to see our bigs!" and she included a picture of Sarah with Billy and Kelly.  She included three or four photos of the group of kids that had 16, not 17 kids, making me wonder if Sarah is living with her brother Billy and his wife Kelly. Sarah is ~20 years old, and maybe she was ready for a break from the noise and chaos of such a large family. 

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Ausje

Jean has so many children that she's missed one out in the info at the side of her blog and hasn't even noticed. Poor Jake.

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JermajestyDuggar
5 hours ago, ifosterkittens said:

Does anyone follow the blog There's No Place Like Home? Jean Mulvahill and her husband (don't know his name) had five biological children, and then proceeded to adopt 17 children. They adopted 15 of the 17 from China, and the other two adoptions appear to be children adopted from China by another family, and adopted domestically by the Mulvahills. On Jean's May 3, 2020 Shelter in Place post in the comments one person wrote:  

" Zanmei said... Billy and Kelly got Sarah now? Glad you are all doing well during these strange times! May 5, 2020 at 11:32 PM." 

Jean has not responded to the comment. 

In the post Jean wrote "We had a family distance gathering! It's heartwarming to see our bigs!" and she included a picture of Sarah with Billy and Kelly.  She included three or four photos of the group of kids that had 16, not 17 kids, making me wonder if Sarah is living with her brother Billy and his wife Kelly. Sarah is ~20 years old, and maybe she was ready for a break from the noise and chaos of such a large family. 

Do Billy and Kelly have kids? Because an adopted child becoming a sister nanny to a bio child’s children wouldn’t surprise me. 

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ifosterkittens
35 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Do Billy and Kelly have kids? Because an adopted child becoming a sister nanny to a bio child’s children wouldn’t surprise me.

No kids for them yet. I hadn't thought of that possibility, but I sure hope this arrangement is what Sarah truly wants. 

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jegfile
42 minutes ago, ifosterkittens said:

No kids for them yet. I hadn't thought of that possibility, but I sure hope this arrangement is what Sarah truly wants. 

A long time ago Jean posted that she felt like both Sarah and Melissa would go to college... older than the normal freshman, but they both worked really hard and had potential. I hope Sarah is in college and just staying with Billy and Kelly for support.

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Stormy
On 5/9/2020 at 11:56 AM, ifosterkittens said:

Does anyone follow the blog There's No Place Like Home? Jean Mulvahill and her husband (don't know his name) had five biological children, and then proceeded to adopt 17 children. They adopted 15 of the 17 from China, and the other two adoptions appear to be children adopted from China by another family, and adopted domestically by the Mulvahills.

I remember the discussion around this family, and agree with the sentiment at the time that they're more like a glorified group home than an adoptive family. I've got nothing against big (even huge) families, but I don't understand the draw of taking in so many unrelated kids in such a short time. Obviously there's the issue of college and support into early adulthood, but, if something happened to the parents, where would the children go? I hardly doubt they have enough relatives and friends who exist and have open arms. People who have 5+ bio kids back-to-back already worry enough about these things (aside from the ones that...don't). That's why I can't rationalize that they've got good intentions, because this would be sorted out if they truly did (aside from bringing them to America/Jesus at least).

Didn't they try to adopt even more from China and get cut off? It's so wild that China had to put forth some really specific restrictions because of cases like these. I believe that you must be a heterosexual married couple aged 30 or over, can only have a maximum of six children living in your home (including the adopted child), and the youngest child you currently have must be at least three years old. (Kimi got grandfathered in because she'd submitted her dossier before they laid down the law, as did the Stauffers with their youngest bio child being 2.5 years).

Speaking of the Stauffers, Myka promised a while back that they would have a family update on the kids when they're "ready" to do so. In the meantime, she's uploading as usual with measly-portioned what-I-eat-in-a-day's, product placements, and showing her "positive affirmations" that she has written on index cards stuck all over her mirror. (In pink highlighter with kitty stickers all over them, it's amazing. This woman is in her thirties.) One of them reads "I'm a good mom.". She's also laying it on hard that she started YouTube to "spread positivity", which IMO is her trying to build up her armor for if her "family update" sparks backlash. There's speculation that she's trying to stall and make as much money as possible now because her channel is likely to die if her truth is that they've rehomed Huxley.

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TuringMachine
On 2/21/2020 at 6:40 AM, llucie said:

The mom from Crazy Pieces is currently pregnant with a surrogate baby, i think its her 3 time having a baby for others. I do find her fascinating, like i dont understand why a person would be willing to be a surrogate for others (and she truly doesnt seem to be doing it for the money) at the same time she advocates for foster care and adoption and its what she is doing herself to grow her own family.

Crazy Pieces are adopting again, which will be their twelfth? kid. Though I think technically 2 of the kids aren't actually adopted, they just consider them to be their kids.

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    • Bluebirdbluebell

      Bluebirdbluebell

      I'm so angry at the Bishops right now. Shit like this is why I left the Catholic church. They play politics so blatantly.  I hope this convinces more people to leave. 
      · 1 reply
    • Destiny

      Destiny

      I’m okay. I can do this. 
       
      (I’m not okay.)
      · 6 replies
    • Destiny

      Destiny

      I have an extremely stressful weekend coming up. If you can spare me and the kitties some good thoughts I’d appreciate it. 
      · 1 reply
    • Mrs Ms

      Mrs Ms

      One of my siblings has a work related thing coming up where they get to visit a fundie place. Has promised a detailed rundown of the encounter for me and another sibling via video chat. Not that I am jealous or anything….
      · 1 reply
    • BemusedByFundamentalism

      BemusedByFundamentalism

      My in-laws gifted me a hand crank Singer 127k family piece for my birthday. It's from 1926... whoaaahh I feel so loved! Any tips are welcome 😃
      · 4 replies
    • 47of74

      47of74

      They don't make movies like that anymore....
       
       
      And...oh yeah.  KHAAAANNNNNNNNNNNN!
      · 0 replies
    • HerNameIsBuffy

      HerNameIsBuffy

      My grandmother came from a town in Missouri of (now) population ~14,500 and 8 Baptist churches.  Not counting all the other denominations, that's just the Baptists.  
      MY grandfather came from Drimoleauge, Ireland which has a current population of ~450 people (not a typo) and 1 church and 5 pubs.  
      If I get a time machine take a wild guess which ancestors I'm going back to visit?  I'm not social, don't enjoy bars, and prefer to imbibe at home but sitting in a pub has to be better than being Godbothered to death by people pretending they don't drink.  
      Fun unrelated fact - Martin Luther spent so much time on the toilet he had a desk built so he could work there, and would take meetings while actively pooping.   He also wrote letters to people with vivid descriptions of his poops.   That should make everyone feel a little better about their work place and emails.
      · 2 replies
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