Girl Defined 2: Aren’t They Women Yet?

[OyHiOh]

1 hour ago, Hane said:

The valedictorian of my high school class is six feet tall, taller than her husband, and showed up at our reunion in 4” heels. Good for her!

Are you describing my cousin????

I'm taller than my gentleman friend.  I wear heels.  I've no fucks to give for arbitrary standards of what society thinks a couple should look like and neither does he.  

[louisa05]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Welp I guess she needs to tell that to my great grandparents. They were married for 75 years and my great grandma was very obviously taller than my great grandfather. And she wore heels everyday. Neither of them cared at all.

My maternal grandmother was around 5’7” and grandpa was 5’3” or so. She wore heels , too. They’d been married 60.5 yrs when she died. 

[adidas]

My husband is shorter than me and I wear heels all the time too. Neither of us care. But I will admit, other people comment on it.

[CarrotCake]

Bethy should have moved here if she wanted a guy taller than her, at least half of the men here are taller than she is.

But she would have to deal with liberal laws aroundabortion, gay, euthanasia etc. so you can't have both ?

 

[Marmion]

All this talk about couples in which the woman is taller than the man just reminded me of this television episode I saw years ago .  https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0595801/  

 

 

[Antipatriarch]

Friendly Atheist has a post up on their "relationship checklist" video: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2020/02/09/these-christian-women-made-a-relationship-checklist-that-spells-disaster/

The post author Val Wilde makes some very good points:

Quote

Clark and Beal claim that this isn’t a checklist; it’s a conversation starter, equally applicable to men or women. At times, though, the phrasing betrays the reality. The questioner is advised to ask their subject about the qualities desired in “your wife” — never “your spouse” or “your husband.” Given the target audience for Girl Defined, that’s an understandable oversight. But asking what he wants in a wife without also asking what she wants in a husband doesn’t set up a particularly mutual conversation.

In fact, the whole thing gives the impression of a man sitting in a job interview, applying for the position of husband.

[...]

The problem only gets worse around questions designed to weed out abusive behavior. Asking “are you ever manipulative of others?” or “have you ever been violent?” is unlikely to prove anything. You can ask your partner whether they are honest, but you can’t know whether the answer they give you is true.

Some things don’t need to be talked about in relationships, not because they’re unimportant, but because they’re the sorts of things you can really only learn about by watching a person’s behavior.

 

[ven]

On 2/1/2020 at 10:28 PM, ven said:

Does anybody what dave does for a job? Cant find that anywhere! 

Woow 2 weeks , and no answer ! Is this another griftfest in the making ? Both doing nothing ? And yes she needs lot of rest in her final week ... sure i have kids, i understand, but generally that advice is pointed out to working moms or moms with a family already   

[Intothewind]

4 hours ago, ven said:

Woow 2 weeks , and no answer ! Is this another griftfest in the making ? Both doing nothing ? And yes she needs lot of rest in her final week ... sure i have kids, i understand, but generally that advice is pointed out to working moms or moms with a family already   

I think I saw on reddit that he works at a christian film company? Christian AV company? Something like that. 

[EmmaWoodhouse]

4 hours ago, ven said:

Woow 2 weeks , and no answer ! Is this another griftfest in the making ? Both doing nothing ? And yes she needs lot of rest in her final week ... sure i have kids, i understand, but generally that advice is pointed out to working moms or moms with a family already   

Whatever company he work for does a lot of the videography for the National Bible Bee (the Bontragers are highly involved, we've seen the Maxwells do the summer study, probably other fundies we discuss on here also participate).

Videos from the Bible Bee's Facebook page under spoilers.

 

 

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 Advanced issue found

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Spoiler

Video from the 2019 competition

Spoiler

And one from the 2018 competition

 

[smittykins]

At my former fundie-lite church, one of the kids was involved in the Bible Bee, which apparently made the regional daily newspaper, and her mother was literally on the verge of tears because it was treated as “just another contest” and not something beneficial to her eternal soul.(I remember thinking “Well, what do you expect from a secular newspaper?”)

[JermajestyDuggar]

20 minutes ago, smittykins said:

At my former fundie-lite church, one of the kids was involved in the Bible Bee, which apparently made the regional daily newspaper, and her mother was literally on the verge of tears because it was treated as “just another contest” and not something beneficial to her eternal soul.(I remember thinking “Well, what do you expect from a secular newspaper?”)

I’m not christian but I used to be. I think memorizing bible lines should never be considered a benefit to your eternal soul. Most Christians will never memorize the Bible like that. In my opinion it doesn’t make that person any less of a Christian because they haven’t memorized the Bible. I’ve always thought being a Christian in good standing with god should be about how you behave and live your life as a Christian. And many fundies behave terribly on a regular basis. Memorizing bible sections isn’t going to erase the hate you put forth into the world. 

[quiversR4hunting]

47 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’m not christian but I used to be. I think memorizing bible lines should never be considered a benefit to your eternal soul. Most Christians will never memorize the Bible like that. In my opinion it doesn’t make that person any less of a Christian because they haven’t memorized the Bible. I’ve always thought being a Christian in good standing with god should be about how you behave and live your life as a Christian. And many fundies behave terribly on a regular basis. Memorizing bible sections isn’t going to erase the hate you put forth into the world. 

I once had a person tell me (Catholic) that a church isn't a real Christian Church if there aren't Bibles in the pews (she knew I was Catholic and she was raised Catholic). I told her the church service isn't Bible study.

To your point and what was said to me, some preachers/praise leaders are teaching that to people - you must memorize bible verses and you must have a bible in the pew. Catholics assume you are reading your bible at home and all of our readings each week are on a schedule so I can study the Sunday readings in context before mass, if I so desire.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

4 hours ago, quiversR4hunting said:

I once had a person tell me (Catholic) that a church isn't a real Christian Church if there aren't Bibles in the pews (she knew I was Catholic and she was raised Catholic). I told her the church service isn't Bible study.

To your point and what was said to me, some preachers/praise leaders are teaching that to people - you must memorize bible verses and you must have a bible in the pew. Catholics assume you are reading your bible at home and all of our readings each week are on a schedule so I can study the Sunday readings in context before mass, if I so desire.

This reminds me of a bit from Kathleen Madigan - paraphrasing:

'Protestants read the bible.  Catholics read the bulletin so we know who died and what's for lunch.'

[theotherelise]

Kathleen Madigan babysat me and my siblings a few times! 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 minute ago, theotherelise said:

Kathleen Madigan babysat me and my siblings a few times! 

Are you kidding me?!  If she's a horrible person please don't tell me - I have so few heroes left.

[theotherelise]

@HerNameIsBuffy I was super little, so I only vaguely remembered a Kathy coming over. My siblings were school aged. My mom only told me a couple years ago it was the same person. They used her a few times, so they must’ve been happy!

[AmazonGrace]

5 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’m not christian but I used to be. I think memorizing bible lines should never be considered a benefit to your eternal soul. Most Christians will never memorize the Bible like that. In my opinion it doesn’t make that person any less of a Christian because they haven’t memorized the Bible. I’ve always thought being a Christian in good standing with god should be about how you behave and live your life as a Christian. And many fundies behave terribly on a regular basis. Memorizing bible sections isn’t going to erase the hate you put forth into the world. 

It could be of practical benefit when it comes to time management. The more time you spend memorizing pointless Bible quotes, it's got to cut into the time you have to harass people  on the internet and in front of family planning clinics.

[Katzchen24]

On 2/14/2020 at 7:01 AM, ven said:

Woow 2 weeks , and no answer ! Is this another griftfest in the making ? Both doing nothing ? And yes she needs lot of rest in her final week ... sure i have kids, i understand, but generally that advice is pointed out to working moms or moms with a family already   

When I first saw Birthy's IG post about meals being delivered I wrote a long screed about it and then deleted without posting because I thought it was too BEC. BUT, this was a question I had -  what exactly does Daeeaffvyiid do for a living? Why is he SO busy that he can't help his very pregnant wife shop for food or cook?

I'm not going to knock people using frozen meals or delivery services, I've used frozen meals during a difficult time and even now pizza is miraculously delivered to my house once a fortnight because why not.....! But, Birthy is either failing at being the perfect Christian homemaker by not being able to cook and shop (goodness only knows what will happen when the Bub is here) or the Big D is too useless to be able to support his wife in the "helping out around the house" sense.

What I'm guessing is that the whole meal delivery service is just schilling for cash and it doesn't really mean anything.
 

[Joyleaf]

Somebody on reddit claims that Bethany had her baby but they are still in the hospital due to health issues:

Spoiler

 

Edited February 20, 2020 by Joyleaf

[JermajestyDuggar]

I admit, I hope this is not true and the baby was born healthy. I’m wondering why they might have missed a serious birth defect on the ultrasound. I know they don’t catch everything. But they do seem to be doing better and better with new technological advances. 

[SillyDillys]

I hope nothing is wrong and I seriously hope a possible defect isnt due to Bethanys home birth plan. I'm not knocking water birth, home births, and/or doulas/midwives at all. It's just we've seen this route with fundies using not properly qualified professionals and pulling stupid moves with long labors thinking everything will be fine because of jesus. But maybe she was getting professional prenatal care. (Havent been following her too closely, I just remembered her wanting a natural water home birth or whatever fundies usually do) 

Along the height thing. My cousin is 5'9 while I'm 5'3. Mr. Dilly is 6'3. When I introduced him to the family last year my cousin had the nerve to say "save the tall guys for the tall girls!" Sorry I have a type!

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 minute ago, SillyDillys said:

I hope nothing is wrong and I seriously hope a possible defect isnt due to Bethanys home birth plan. I'm not knocking water birth, home births, and/or doulas/midwives at all. It's just we've seen this route with fundies using not properly qualified professionals and pulling stupid moves with long labors thinking everything will be fine because of jesus. But maybe she was getting professional prenatal care. (Havent been following her too closely, I just remembered her wanting a natural water home birth or whatever fundies usually do) 

Along the height thing. My cousin is 5'9 while I'm 5'3. Mr. Dilly is 6'3. When I introduced him to the family last year my cousin had the nerve to say "save the tall guys for the tall girls!" Sorry I have a type!

My cousin is one of my best friends and I’ve always been a head taller than her even though we are the same age (I am over 5’10” and she is barely 5’3”). I married a man slightly shorter than me and she married a man that is around 6’5”. But now our 5 year olds are similar in height! Which makes us laugh since I towered over her for our entire childhood.

[ven]

On 2/20/2020 at 10:27 AM, Joyleaf said:

Somebody on reddit claims that Bethany had her baby but they are still in the hospital due to health issues:

  Hide contents

 

By the eardeffening silence i get the feeling it is true ...

[JermajestyDuggar]

21 minutes ago, ven said:

By the eardeffening silence i get the feeling it is true ...

I can’t decide if they are being super quiet because they want some privacy at first or if there actually is a problem. The longer they wait to announce Davy Jr, the more I think there is a problem.

Edited February 21, 2020 by JermajestyDuggar

[louisa05]

15 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I can’t decide if they are being super quiet because they want some privacy at first or if there actual is a problem. The longer they wait to announce Davy Jr, the more I think there is a problem.

The cynical part of me says something is wrong because Bethy normally leans toward over sharing. If all were well, she’d surely be pontificating in how to be the most godly new mother ever