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Article: Incest, Rape, and Abuse Among the Amish


Joyleaf

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There was an Amish-run puppy mill in my area as well, culminating in several deaths, and someone created a symbolic cemetery with a marker for each animal that died.

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In the ‘70s I became aware of Amish as intrinsically pacifistic. Check for the good!

Admirable that they worked the land.  Doing without electricity? Big Momma Junebug did so until she movedvto the city to support the  Family. Check, check!  This is a lifestyle, check! 

Then, “Witness.” Check for the good, though I was hoodwinked. 

Finally, I got to Arcola, Illinois & actually, y’know, watched some Amish, conversed with them. All the checkmarks started wobbling in the “plus” column.  Most of the young men (my age) were sullen, auspicious and dismissive.  Most of the women my age  seemed cowed, bitter and overwhelmed.  

What I'm saying is, the men matched my ex- (then-husband).  The women were as distressing to me as I was to myself: outwardly I was a scrappy, successful working mom bringing in fully half the family income; in reality, I was heartbroken at not being able to be with my children a lot more, unremittingly frustrated at my miserable mistake of a spouse. 

When I first learned about Amish crime against their children and women and the laughable consequences, all the checkmarks toppled.

That’s all I have to say. Just needed the emotions dump. Thank you. 

Edited by MamaJunebug
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On a happier note, I knew a woman who along with her husband owned a business that had a lot of Amish customers, and they were invited to an Amish wedding.  They were told, "Wear what you would wear to one of 'your' weddings, and bring a gift that you think is appropriate" so she wore her beige suit and he wore his navy blue suit, and they got a nice set of towels in a neutral color.  There were more than 400 guests, probably 90% of them Amish, and she got into a conversation with the bride's mother and asked her what planning this was like.  Bride's Mother looked from one side to another, cupped her hand over her mouth, and whispered, "It was a nightmare."

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My BFF grew up Mennonite.  I remember being at a local flea market/craft fair and there was an old order Mennonite man there that she refused to speak to.  This was unlike her so I asked—apparently he had been raping his daughters for years when one of them went to the minister.  In that case, the minister did turn him into authorities.  The daughters refused to testify though and it went no where, if I remember correctly.

My friend told me it wasn’t an uncommon story, but her church, at least, would go straight to the cops.

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22 minutes ago, thesedays said:

On a happier note, I knew a woman who along with her husband owned a business that had a lot of Amish customers, and they were invited to an Amish wedding.  They were told, "Wear what you would wear to one of 'your' weddings, and bring a gift that you think is appropriate" so she wore her beige suit and he wore his navy blue suit, and they got a nice set of towels in a neutral color.  There were more than 400 guests, probably 90% of them Amish, and she got into a conversation with the bride's mother and asked her what planning this was like.  Bride's Mother looked from one side to another, cupped her hand over her mouth, and whispered, "It was a nightmare."

Even though the weddings are “plain,” they are still a lot of work. They almost always serve a full meal. And that means cooking food for hundreds of people. Sure everybody helps, but it’s still a lot. 

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Like every other people group the Amish have their share of bad eggs.  But I wanted to add our personal experience with the Amish.  My husband was in a terrible farm accident.  One Amish man, who did not know us, paid a driver to bring him 1.5 hours away to tell us that if the accident claimed my husband's leg (it did), he was going to be alright.  He had lost a limb himself and wanted to encourage us.  Another Amish family had several girls who offered to do our milking during my husband's recovery.  Several others stopped by the hospital and our home to visit.  Two different Beachy Amish farmers with amputations ( both from other states) came to tell us what to expect and that it would still be possible to farm.  Many sent checks to help out, many of whom do not have any extra.  It was the widow's mite.  Yes, the Amish are much more than farms, caps, homebaked goods, and horses, but sexual deviance isn't the whole story either. 

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9 minutes ago, Notjean said:

Like every other people group the Amish have their share of bad eggs.  But I wanted to add our personal experience with the Amish.  My husband was in a terrible farm accident.  One Amish man, who did not know us, paid a driver to bring him 1.5 hours away to tell us that if the accident claimed my husband's leg (it did), he was going to be alright.  He had lost a limb himself and wanted to encourage us.  Another Amish family had several girls who offered to do our milking during my husband's recovery.  Several others stopped by the hospital and our home to visit.  Two different Beachy Amish farmers with amputations ( both from other states) came to tell us what to expect and that it would still be possible to farm.  Many sent checks to help out, many of whom do not have any extra.  It was the widow's mite.  Yes, the Amish are much more than farms, caps, homebaked goods, and horses, but sexual deviance isn't the whole story either. 

A lot of my aunt’s surrounding neighbors are Amish. She’s lived on the same farm for decades. Some of their Amish neighbors are very helpful and good neighbors. However I have to say it’s the Amish beliefs and culture that make for such disturbing and hurtful behavior to go unchecked. I would say a lot of Amish are probably ok people. They are just stuck in a patriarchical society where it’s almost impossible to leave and abuse is encouraged to be kept secret from authorities and handled only within the church. 

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As individuals, I'm sure many of the Amish are truly wonderful people. But as a group, their beliefs and culture make it very easy for the few bad eggs to really run rampant and do a great deal of damage. 

I personally think any system where you are not allowed to choose basically anything about your life is inherently damaging, but when it also enables abusers and keeps people trapped in the system? That's extra terrible.

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Also , I just wanted to point out that their are differences in terms of severity of strictness , pertaining to the " ordnung" of various communities . And also , their is a world of difference between the Swartzentruber Amish , a breakaway sect of Old Order Amish , I would deem to be a cult , which first got its start no earlier than the year 1915 , and the far more mainstream Beachy Amish -Mennonites , of whom I have played such games as volleyball  with , and even have added this young woman I met through such an interaction to my FaceBook friendlist .  So before someone thinks that we are painting with a broad brush , not all Amish groups are alike .  And furthermore , I do not know of any other Amish people that think much of the Swartzentruber Amish .  Many even go so far as to term the Swartzentruber the " dirty Amish "  . 

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I became away of an Amish author, Sherry Gore, several years ago. She was raised non-Amish, had a really tough life, childhood, teen age years, she lived out on the streets. She was your typical "wild child". Finally at one point, she found God and knew to serve him best she had to go plain. She joined an Amish-Mennonite church and has been on TV (Today Show!), has a FB page...... she is very happy with her  choice. I think as with every group, we don't just assign them characteristics good and bad. I know wonderful people of many religious groups as well as have met some not so wonderful people.

The Amish are human, not gods. The rise in Amish fiction has idealized the life. I went through a stage where I read a lot of Amish fiction. It was comforting. There was the occasional book that was a bit more realistic, dealing with issues such as suicide but the audience isn't interesting in reality. And in the end, its okay, its fiction. If it makes someone happy, they should enjoy it. 

Edited by libgirl2
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  • 9 months later...
On 1/17/2020 at 7:19 PM, hoipolloi said:

At one point, I had plans to become wealthy through writing a romance series featuring Amish vampires of the Highlands. 

I’d seriously read that, just for the hilarity of it! You should write the book after all. 

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On 11/5/2020 at 6:36 PM, FluffySnowball said:

I’d seriously read that, just for the hilarity of it! You should write the book after all. 

If you mean the Scottish highlands Jody Hodnett could have a major role?!! He doesn’t do much so could travel up from his roost near the English border. 

Edited by Gobsmacked
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