Dear Women's Ministry, Stop Telling Me I'm Beautiful

[Imrlgoddess]

This came across my radar today, I noticed some folks had mentioned her in other topics.  Phylicia Masonheimer. She wrote an article about women's conferences and them telling women they are beautiful or special and that it is wrong to be told such things.

https://phyliciamasonheimer.com/christian-womens-ministry/?fbclid=IwAR3ukm2W7wlMv3M75piKvoyLxJhPtuNy5yaICKjTFjSFP-i-qlmC3meAB2k

 

Quote

The truth is that, apart from the transforming power of Christ, I’m not beautiful, special, or all that unique. I’m born into sin, and bent to rebellion. My insecurities and fears pulse through Adam’s blood in my veins. These can’t be rooted out with shallow “encouragements”. What I need – what every woman needs – is a soul-deep solution to the problem of sin. Insecurity is not the problem. Fear, poor self-image, marriage problems – these are just symptoms of the real disease. The disease is sin, and we all have it.

 

 

[Jasmar]

Bye Felicia. Asshole.

[Giraffe]

 “I’m not saying these encouragements are false...The question is not whether these things are true, but whether or not this is the most important.”  (Eta: emphasis is in the original)

WTF?!? So it’s not that they’re lying, it’s that they’re not making people feel shitty enough about themselves??? No wonder I walked away from this kind of BS!

Edited January 15, 2020 by Giraffe

[Marmion]

 

[Marmion]

In Googling her , I just found this in response to the topic article .   { http://www.thebeautifulplaceblog.com/blog/2017/1/11/christians-and-self-esteem-a-response-to-phylicia-delta-part-1 , https://www.thebeautifulplaceblog.com/blog/2017/1/17/christians-and-self-esteem-a-response-to-phylicia-masonheimer-part-2 , http://www.thebeautifulplaceblog.com/blog/2017/1/31/christians-and-self-esteem-a-response-to-phylicia-masonheimer-part-3?rq=masonheimer } 

[raspberrymint]

I think this kind of Christianity must be for people who hate themselves.

[Giraffe]

21 minutes ago, raspberrymint said:

I think this kind of Christianity must be for people who hate themselves.

It also produces them. It also includes sincere women who genuinely believe this is what they’re supposed to do and sucks them into this wider world of patriarchal BS where they’re taught they have no autonomy because they were presumably born with a vagina. 

[fundiefan]

Silly me. I thought it was going to be a message about empowering women - "don't  tell me I'm a pretty little thing, tell me I'm a strong, capable human". Nope. It's all about how totally awful you truly are and it's not important to believe or hear anything positive about yourself.

Being a religious fanatic makes life really hard and must suck up the wazoo. 

 

[Marmion]

18 hours ago, raspberrymint said:

I think this kind of Christianity must be for people who hate themselves.

Even more than this , your not even suppose to have a sense of self to begin with .   In sects of Christianity , that some might deem to be cults , in order to be considered by the church to be the perfect follower of Christ , and therefore assured of being secure in one's state of  salvation , one is expected to deny , and even die to self .  For if one doesn't disregard the self , it is not considered possible to uplift the Lord Jesus Christ .  Why , once my own sister submitted a poem to " BLAST"  https://www.nwonyi.org/district-blast.html , entitled " Use Me " , but she was not awarded more than a bronze medal , as the judge stated to it was focused on herself , rather than solely on the person of Jesus .  Like , I suppose that the Church of the Nazarene didn't think that there should even be any " me" left over for God to use , in the first place , but rather simply Christ living and working through the person acting as a vessel for His glory .  A verse that will get cited to reinforce this precept of self denial is this .  https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=JOHN+3%3A30&version=NKJV  I don't know what other churches will make of such a mindset , but among the more extreme evangelical sects , these gospel songs characterize the lack of self worth , and even self esteem .  

 These are some of the types of songs I would hear at " singspiration " , in the Church of the Nazarene .  

[NachosFlandersStyle]

Reminds me of an instagrammer who popped up in my feed recently. Every third post is about how self-esteem is a LIE! I get being sick of self-help affirmations, but the "you deserve nothing!" stuff is so jarring. I can't imagine what that does to someone who is suicidal, has an eating disorder, etc.

 

[AmazonGrace]

It sounds like she's saying the Bible is wrong. There are a number of passages in the Bible that tell you God thinks you're pretty awesome and unique. And she even quotes some of them  in the blog. But if you tell that to women it's a "theologically deficient message". So, why did God give people a theologically deficient book?

[SecularMusic]

Isn't she the blogger who received national attention after she wrote a post about how Christian women shouldn't wear yoga pants?

[Marmion]

17 hours ago, NachosFlandersStyle said:

Reminds me of an instagrammer who popped up in my feed recently. EvNKJV  third post is about how self-esteem is a LIE! I get being sick of self-help affirmations, but the "you deserve nothing!" stuff is so jarring. I can't imagine what that does to someone who is suicidal, has an eating disorder, etc.

 

Here is her YouTube channel , for those whom might be interested .  https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCKc-9tNdmab60-xOBat14Pw/featured   

 

17 hours ago, NachosFlandersStyle said:

I get being sick of self-help affirmations, but the "you deserve nothing!" stuff is so jarring. I can't imagine what that does to someone who is suicidal, has an eating disorder, etc

For someone who is suicidal , and Holiness / Christian perfectionist,   s/he won't directly try to commit suicide , as one's life is not one's own to take , but rather was bought at a price , and so belongs therefore to Christ .  https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+6%3A19-20&version=NKJV   However , as I have mentioned before , especially in the threads concerning Gwen Shamblin , and her Remnant Fellowship , such a person might feel driven towards starvation via fasting , as a mortification , in order to ensure entire sanctification , and thereby feel assured of salvation .  This drawn out process , even if it culminates in death , will not be seen as resulting in eternal damnation , unlike with outright suicide , but if anything , will be regarded as martyrdom in pursuit of the righteousness of God . This of course would be a most extreme example , and is by no means common .  All I am trying to point out is how far someone who is desperate might go in order to prove herself / or himself worthy of remaining in divine favor , so as not to potentially forfeit their state of saving grace , in the event that Jesus becomes dissatisfied with him or her, for not perfectly living up to what is expected of him or her . Such a person will feel unworthy of God's love , unless he or she becomes confident that s/he is perfectly good enough to earn it , by continuing to completely reflect the character of Christ , at all times .   This was the message I gathered from my experience of attending Church of the Nazarene revivals . Even if it wasn't necessarily intended to be meant that way , that was still how I and other vurnerible , confused , and disturbed persons have taken it to mean .  We were lead to believe that if we failed to contantly live up to an absolute standard of holiness unto the Lord , we would be liable to end up experiencing hellfire . The only solution being to present ourselves before the altar , also known as the " mourners bench "  , and offer ourselves up as a living sacrifice that is crucified with Christ , and therefore dead to self .  https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians+2%3A20&version=NKJV ,  https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+12%3A1&version=NKJV As you can see , even the Bible itself can be taken and used by such preachers to reinforce their indoctrination of the congregation .  And not knowing what else to make of it all , those subject to such teachings as this will feel self conscious , and insecure in his or her relationship with God , and will either try to fall in line , behind the Holiness standards of the Church , or feeling discouraged , and disaffected , will wind up falling away from the folds of the Christian faith altogether .   

[Imrlgoddess]

On 1/17/2020 at 4:16 PM, Marmion said:

Here is her YouTube channel , for those whom might be interested .  https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCKc-9tNdmab60-xOBat14Pw/featured   

 

For someone who is suicidal , and Holiness / Christian perfectionist,   s/he won't directly try to commit suicide , as one's life is not one's own to take , but rather was bought at a price , and so belongs therefore to Christ .  https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+6%3A19-20&version=NKJV   However , as I have mentioned before , especially in the threads concerning Gwen Shamblin , and her Remnant Fellowship , such a person might feel driven towards starvation via fasting , as a mortification , in order to ensure entire sanctification , and thereby feel assured of salvation .  This drawn out process , even if it culminates in death , will not be seen as resulting in eternal damnation , unlike with outright suicide , but if anything , will be regarded as martyrdom in pursuit of the righteousness of God . This of course would be a most extreme example , and is by no means common .  All I am trying to point out is how far someone who is desperate might go in order to prove herself / or himself worthy of remaining in divine favor , so as not to potentially forfeit their state of saving grace , in the event that Jesus becomes dissatisfied with him or her, for not perfectly living up to what is expected of him or her . Such a person will feel unworthy of God's love , unless he or she becomes confident that s/he is perfectly good enough to earn it , by continuing to completely reflect the character of Christ , at all times .   This was the message I gathered from my experience of attending Church of the Nazarene revivals . Even if it wasn't necessarily intended to be meant that way , that was still how I and other vurnerible , confused , and disturbed persons have taken it to mean .  We were lead to believe that if we failed to contantly live up to an absolute standard of holiness unto the Lord , we would be liable to end up experiencing hellfire . The only solution being to present ourselves before the altar , also known as the " mourners bench "  , and offer ourselves up as a living sacrifice that is crucified with Christ , and therefore dead to self .  https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians+2%3A20&version=NKJV ,  https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+12%3A1&version=NKJV As you can see , even the Bible itself can be taken and used by such preachers to reinforce their indoctrination of the congregation .  And not knowing what else to make of it all , those subject to such teachings as this will feel self conscious , and insecure in his or her relationship with God , and will either try to fall in line , behind the Holiness standards of the Church , or feeling discouraged , and disaffected , will wind up falling away from the folds of the Christian faith altogether .   

This puts me in mind of the Catholic practice of flagellation.  You'd think it would have died out after the Middle Ages but it's still practiced throughout the world.  That wish to suffer as the Christ suffered or to reduce your fleshly self to nothing in an effort to prove your dedication through unworthiness....it's disturbing. 

[MamaJunebug]

I can tell you what it did to one person who was suicidal. Suffice it to say he’s no longer with us. 

A while after his death, a Lutheran radio preacher appeared on the scene who yowped that self-esteem was nothing but bad. We should have “Christ-esteem,” instead, he insisted. Extremist!  I guess he didn’t pay attention to the fact that the Bible describes God saying “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

The guy quit Lutheran radio, thinking his abrasive and bombastic style was gonna go over in secular media.  It didn’t, thank all that is holy. 

I was glad that my brother was in Heaven before he had a chance to hear the extremist’s rants.  RIP, bro.