Jump to content
IGNORED

Anna Marie has Breast Cancer


deborahlynn1979
 Share

Recommended Posts

44 minutes ago, tabitha2 said:

Because her first line sounded very entitled and demanding.  I read it as if She expects info and of course they won’t give it soon enough to please. The last sentence comes off as a throwaway afterthought. 

I didn't take it that way at all. I took it more like "we know the Maxwells carefully curate and time-manage what they share, so who knows what or when they'll post."

And really, if you have a blog with many followers and post about a cancer diagnosis with an apparently imminent induction of a baby, I think you have to expect people are going to be worrying and wondering how mom and baby are doing. A simple "baby is healthy but not ready to come home just yet, and mom is recovering well from the delivery and proceeding with her doctor's prescribed treatment" would be sufficient to ease people's minds. We might be just mildly wondering and hoping all is OK, but they must have followers who are potentially worried who would be a bit offended by a post three weeks from now saying "Oh, new baby was born a month ago, stayed in NICU for a few days and is home and doing well!" 

No, we're not entitled to any information. Neither are their other followers. But they shared it and stirred up people's worry, so they shouldn't be surprised if people want to know how things are going. 

Especially after the whole Andrea Mills thing. Diagnosed to deceased in what... three days? Sure, her situation was different, but I don't think it's entitled to hope for "Delivery went well, baby is healthy, Anna's doing well."

  • Upvote 21
  • Love 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

I didn't take it that way at all. I took it more like "we know the Maxwells carefully curate and time-manage what they share, so who knows what or when they'll post."

And really, if you have a blog with many followers and post about a cancer diagnosis with an apparently imminent induction of a baby, I think you have to expect people are going to be worrying and wondering how mom and baby are doing. A simple "baby is healthy but not ready to come home just yet, and mom is recovering well from the delivery and proceeding with her doctor's prescribed treatment" would be sufficient to ease people's minds. We might be just mildly wondering and hoping all is OK, but they must have followers who are potentially worried who would be a bit offended by a post three weeks from now saying "Oh, new baby was born a month ago, stayed in NICU for a few days and is home and doing well!" 

No, we're not entitled to any information. Neither are their other followers. But they shared it and stirred up people's worry, so they shouldn't be surprised if people want to know how things are going. 

Especially after the whole Andrea Mills thing. Diagnosed to deceased in what... three days? Sure, her situation was different, but I don't think it's entitled to hope for "Delivery went well, baby is healthy, Anna's doing well."

Actually, I was shocked that the entire family was so open about the situation in the first place, but maybe having such deep faith makes sharing such private and emotional information a bit easier? I hope their faith IS easing some of the stress. I don’t even know the Maxwells, yet I can feel my HR rise when I think about their current situation. They are all so sheltered, scheduled and not the least bit armed for change, disruption and rolling with the punches that life in the unsheltered world produces. CM and AM need to focus on AM’s health issue, yet they have 5 kids + a newborn to care and provide for.  Jesus might just need to take the wheel.

  • Upvote 13
  • I Agree 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I Imagine some of the longtime Maxwell readers/friends will donate to maybe a meal train or send gift cards for food so they don’t have to worry so much about what to cook for dinner when you are recovering from cancer treatment. At least I hope their friends will help if they can.

  • Upvote 5
  • I Agree 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Homeschooling shouldn't be too challenging at this point, as I'm sure Anna Marie already has their workbooks in place and they are at the pre-school to elementary levels anyway.  It would be much worse if the kids were in need of high school instruction.

  • Upvote 3
  • I Agree 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I sure hope you're correct about the meal train idea and/or gift cards for food.  I'm not sure if my second oldest daughter started it or someone else, but there was a meal train for my oldest daughter's family when she was diagnosed with a brain tumor two years ago.  Mary needed it, too, as she suffered from vertigo and double vision until that tumor was removed.  After her surgery, she still needed help with the kids and laundry, etc.  She could not lift anything heavy and that included her three year old.  

This really is a situation of all hands on deck.

 

  • Upvote 1
  • Love 15
Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

What is a meal train?

People sign up to provide a meal for the family. Usually one person keeps a schedule and everyone signs up for a day that works for them. I think you can even find online meal train sites now. 

  • Upvote 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

18 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Actually, I was shocked that the entire family was so open about the situation in the first place, but maybe having such deep faith makes sharing such private and emotional information a bit easier? I hope their faith IS easing some of the stress.

I imagine they're praying a lot more than usual and now know there are many others praying with them.  They''ve probably gotten recommendations for decent doctors, along with encouragement toward quackery, and can pursue whatever leads they want.  They can communicate directly with friends/extended family who saw the post and reached out.

They also now have hundreds (at least) of people who are likely checking regularly for updates, via Internet and otherwise, and some might be pests.  I'd guess they're now trying to balance their privacy with with the benefits/burdens of sharing.

  • Upvote 4
  • I Agree 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

14 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

People sign up to provide a meal for the family. Usually one person keeps a schedule and everyone signs up for a day that works for them. I think you can even find online meal train sites now. 

Thanks lovely.  My mom's extended family did an informal version of this when she was going through the worst of it.  It wasn't for her, she couldn't eat...it was for us as we were caring for her.

I appreciated the sentiment but in a family with the worlds pickiest eaters it was kind of wasted on us...but I can see how helpful this would be for normal people.

  • Upvote 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 1/12/2020 at 9:44 PM, PennySycamore said:

@nvmbr02,  I think that the shots can her given around 28 weeks.  (Wikipedia says as early as 23 weeks, but that was not done when I had Katherine 32 years ago.  The earliest GA then was 28 weeks.)  It might even be given as late as 37 weeks, but infants of that gestational age are unlikely to have severe pulmonary distress requiring ventilation.  I know that they gave Katherine Decadron (dexamethasone) which is one of the drugs that help mature the lungs. but they did not give it to me before she was born.  

My water broke at 35+5 weeks with my last baby (2.5 years ago) and they gave me the shots as a "just in case" measure. I had her via c-section 2 days later (36 weeks) and she had no issues breathing.  Because she was born before 37 weeks she had to pass a "car seat test" before she could be released which consisted of her sitting in a car seat for a duration of time while being monitored to make sure she could keep her oxygen sats up.  We stayed 3 days in the hospital before the pediatrician grudgingly gave the ok to go home (she had jaundice issues but was otherwise well)

I have a friend who was born at 28 weeks.  She was the first baby at the hospital to receive surfactant for her lungs 37 years ago. She has some lung damage from being born so early but she has 3 kids and is a vice principle at a school.  She is doing well!

  • Upvote 4
  • Love 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Thanks lovely.  My mom's extended family did an informal version of this when she was going through the worst of it.  It wasn't for her, she couldn't eat...it was for us as we were caring for her.

I appreciated the sentiment but in a family with the worlds pickiest eaters it was kind of wasted on us...but I can see how helpful this would be for normal people.

It’s so helpful nowadays that things can be delivered so easily. I think it’s why meal trains have become so popular. Because you can use a delivery service for food places that don’t normally provide delivery. 

  • Upvote 5
  • Love 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

And doesn’t the M family usually do a big cooking weekend for the expectant family to sort of stock the freezer in advance of the birth.  I hope that they got around to doing this prior to the diagnosis, maybe not though, with the holidays and all. I just can’t help thinking that for people who are so rigid about schedules and control, this situation would be exceptionally difficult, especially for kids who have led such sheltered and micromanaged lives. 

  • Upvote 4
  • I Agree 2
  • Love 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Anna also has her own extended family and they will likely be there for her as well. The Maxwells are just likely not to post about them in the blog. Anna will likely want her parents and siblings around at this time. It’s easy to forget that the Maxwell wives have their own families who love and support them since we never hear about them. I am sure there will be a lot of support from all sides. In that, she is very lucky. 

  • Upvote 11
  • Love 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 minutes ago, socalrules said:

I am sure there will be a lot of support from all sides. In that, she is very lucky.

Yes.  Nothing will make this easy, but the kids having to lean on other adults for care whilst their mom is sick is a million times easier when they are already close and familiar with them (both sides).  Not having an aunt (or whomever) they barely know stepping in. 

And I do think their faith will be a huge source of comfort to them.  I have struggled with mine ever since I can remember, but my mom faced cancer with a courage I can't even describe and that's because she never doubted her faith.  It gave her more peace than I'm capable of experiencing.  

If she were here she'd have already corrected me, though.  She's say it's not courageous.  Courage is being afraid and facing your fears head on.

(Don't get me wrong, she had rough patches where she was very afraid of the pain...but she was never afraid to die.  That's the faith...I will never understand it, but I envy it still.)

Edited by HerNameIsBuffy
  • Upvote 8
  • Thank You 1
  • Love 16
Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

This happened almost 40 years ago.  I'm not sure Dr Rivera is still in practice.  

Let’s hope not. I have had good luck with the docs I saw at my practice.

.. except the one doc who asked if I “wanted this baby” when I burst into tears after gaining too much weight between appointments and said I was overwhelmed at my full time job (crappy boss) while working on my masters...  it was my 20 week checkup.  To be fair I think she was a good doc without great bedside manner. Another friend of mine felt the same but got “stuck” with her during complicated delivery and she was apparently very good under pressure. 

  • Upvote 1
  • Rufus Bless 1
  • Love 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

After Anna Marie’s “pro-life” posts about discussing in-depth abortion issues with her very young children and taking them to anti-choice demonstrations, I have to say she is definitely not my “pet fundie,” but I would not wish what she and her family are enduring on my worst enemy. Truly—no one deserves this.

  • Upvote 9
  • I Agree 7
  • Love 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, socalrules said:

Anna also has her own extended family and they will likely be there for her as well. The Maxwells are just likely not to post about them in the blog. Anna will likely want her parents and siblings around at this time. It’s easy to forget that the Maxwell wives have their own families who love and support them since we never hear about them. I am sure there will be a lot of support from all sides. In that, she is very lucky. 

Doesn’t Anna’s family in Washington state? Does she have anyone closer by? It’s lofty to think that her family could drop everything and focus on Anna, but in reality that is not often the case. I have a daughter Anna Marie’s age and when she was sick and hospitalized off and on for 2 months after she had her daughter, I spent a lot of time with her, and  taking care of baby. After the second hospital admission and eventual surgery, I quit my job, a luxury most people do not have. Obviously, my husband had to remain at home to work. 

  • Upvote 2
  • Love 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, SassyPants said:

I just can’t help thinking that for people who are so rigid about schedules and control, this situation would be exceptionally difficult, especially for kids who have led such sheltered and micromanaged lives. 

This X1000. In a cancer diagnosis, you lose all control of your schedule. The specialist tells you when your appointment with the surgeon is and the surgeon tells you when your procedure is and your oncologist tells you when your treatments start and what the schedule will be and no one cares that you had "polish cupboards" or "homeschool field trip" or anything else on your schedule.

3 hours ago, usmcmom said:

People sign up to provide a meal for the family. Usually one person keeps a schedule and everyone signs up for a day that works for them. I think you can even find online meal train sites now. 

The Maxes may come to regret playing nursing-home church...if they were in a thriving church with families and people under the age of 80, there would probably be a lot of people signing up to bring casseroles. Our former (fairly fundie) church actually did a really great job of this when we became parents and it made things a lot easier, especially since things happened a few weeks ahead of schedule and I didn't have a chance to stock the freezer. But when all of your congregants are elderly and live in a facility, no one can bring you much of anything.

ETA yes, there are online meal train sites. We've used them at work when someone has a baby or is fighting cancer. Super easy - the organizer finds out the person's dietary restrictions and preferences so that's posted, and then when you sign up you can input what you're bringing and see what others are bringing so they don't end up with a nonstop diet of lasagna.

Edited by Bethy
I forgot stuff
  • Upvote 15
  • I Agree 2
  • Love 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm sorry She has cancer. I mean no disrespect, but I also find it so hard to care about Trump voters who seem to care so little for anyone else. Children in cages? Oh well. It's just so hard to deal with the conflicting feelings I have. Jesus is the reason for everything they do and Jesus is really a projection of their own thoughts, feelings and wants....or at least Steve's. The Maxwells serve no one but themselves and they seem to feel great about it. No one deserves cancer. I also wish they were better people. *Awkward* I'm sorry and I'll see myself out. 

  • Upvote 21
  • Downvote 1
  • I Agree 1
  • Love 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

@Eternalbluepearl I completely understand where you are coming from. The Maxwell's really only care about themselves and would be happy to take rights away from other people. For me it comes down to the fact that all those kids could be left without a mother and even though she wouldn't be my ideal of a mother, I think her kids are better off with her than without her. 

  • Upvote 16
  • I Agree 13
  • Thank You 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

22 minutes ago, Baxter said:

@Eternalbluepearl I completely understand where you are coming from. The Maxwell's really only care about themselves and would be happy to take rights away from other people. For me it comes down to the fact that all those kids could be left without a mother and even though she wouldn't be my ideal of a mother, I think her kids are better off with her than without her. 

100%.  Even though I can't stand the adult Maxwells and the kids will become carbon copies of their parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles when they grow up I don't wish cancer on any of them.  The kids have enough to deal with having Coward Steve for a grandfather.

Edited by SPHASH
ETA
  • Upvote 11
  • Confused 2
  • Love 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

20 minutes ago, SPHASH said:

And the kids will become carbon copies of their parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles when they grow up I don't wish cancer on any of them.  

We don't have a crystal ball and so currently don't know exactly what any of those children will be like as adults. I am certainly not my parents.

  • Upvote 16
  • I Agree 2
  • Love 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm sad for her because, well, cancer sucks. I would rather see fewer people having cancer than more, no matter who they are. All other things held constant, of course.

Edited by albireo
  • Upvote 7
  • Love 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, Bethy said:

 

 Our former (fairly fundie) church actually did a really great job of this when we became parents and it made things a lot easier, especially since things happened a few weeks ahead of schedule and I didn't have a chance to stock the freezer. But when all of your congregants are elderly and live in a facility, no one can bring you much of anything.

 

Our churches were really good at meals when we had our kids too. It is such a relief to know supper is taken care of for a week or so.  When our first was born, we were the only “young” couple in the church and we were completely spoiled for two weeks! These amazing women who could have been our grandmothers just kept bringing in home cooked meals. We had enough leftovers to freeze several days’ worth of food.  We were at a different church when our daughter was born and had meals brought to us for a week.  It was wonderful. 
 

I gotta say, that was one of my favorite “ministries” to serve on also. It was years ago for me and we called it...”Taking Meals” 😂 If there was time, someone would announce at church what family needed meals and for what dates.  There would be a sign up sheet on the bulletin board.  If it was more of an emergency, someone would just start calling people.  My kids always loved it when I “took a meal” cause I always made dessert for the family in need and my kids would get some too. 

  • Love 15
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • nelliebelle1197 locked this topic
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share




×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.