Anna Marie has Breast Cancer

[HerNameIsBuffy]

27 minutes ago, Giraffe said:

I think it depends on what the person’s role was. Both my grandfathers were in WWII. One of my parents moved frequently. The other only moved once during childhood. 

Because I get most of my knowledge from old sitcoms....Maj. Houlihan in M*A*S*H was an army brat and moved so frequently she had no roots or hometown.  Despite their lack of accuracy when it came to hair* on that show, I think that kind of stuff was generally accurate?

And NAILS.  I remember watching with my mom as a kid and she commented every.  single. time. about how unhygienic Houlihan's long nails were and completely unrealistic for an OR nurse.  (My mom was a nurse and apparently really paid attention to the manicure portion of nursing school.)

 

[browngrl]

14 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

And NAILS.  I remember watching with my mom as a kid and she commented every.  single. time. about how unhygienic Houlihan's long nails were and completely unrealistic for an OR nurse.  (My mom was a nurse and apparently really paid attention to the manicure portion of nursing school.)

I can't stand long nails (no offence meant to anyone who loves them). No fancy nail art stands up to throughly cleaning your nails before each patient and long nails means lots of under nail real estate to clean. They puncture gloves. They poke patient when you are palpating anything. Even though I no longer do much clinical work (essentially only do imaging now) I just can't get over my distaste for long nails. 

also regarding a meal train: chemo often makes people's mouth really sore or it can make some tastes/smells very distasteful. Sometimes surgical or cancer related changes may make some foods un eatable. Sometimes a very specific diet is prescribed. Best to ask if there are any issues before making a meal for someone having cancer treatments. 

[Giraffe]

5 minutes ago, browngrl said:

 

also regarding a meal train: chemo often makes people's mouth really sore or it can make some tastes/smells very distasteful. Sometimes surgical or cancer related changes may make some foods un eatable. Sometimes a very specific diet is prescribed. Best to ask if there are any issues before making a meal for someone having cancer treatments. 

Thanks for pointing this out. I never would’ve thought of this. 

[SoSoNosy]

I have gained so much weight since I got off chemo, a few months ago; I could literally taste and smell the chemo (although I had no idea what chemo tasted or smelled like), and now food just tastes so good.  For a while, the only thing I could stand to eat was a spicy vegetable beef soup that a good friend kept me stocked with.

I haven't been down the Maxwell rabbit hole, so I had no idea that Teri put Steve's toothpaste on his toothbrush.  Does she tie his shoes and button his shirt, too?

[Maggie Mae]

14 minutes ago, SoSoNosy said:

I haven'tbeen down the Maxwell rabbit hole, so I had no idea that Teri put Steve's toothpaste on his toothbrush.  Does she tie his shoes and button his shirt, too?

Oh my goodness. For being the most boring family on Earth, they are surprisingly snarkable.

She's also not allowed to remind him to pick up pizza, she has to pray about it and hope he remembers on his own. 

She gave up her daily Pepsi for Jesus reasons that aren't entirely clear to me. She had depression and supposedly cured it by having more kids. The Maxwell's don't believe in fun. Row, Row, Row your boat is forbidden. 

They used to have a bus they drove around in to promote their chore packs which I never really understood. They are the whitest, blandest people on Earth. Everything is regimented and beige, from the khaki pants to the walls in their mcmansion in Kansas. 

They are the least joyfully beige people I've ever seen on the internet. 

[socalrules]

I remember reading years ago that Prince Charles had someone who puts the toothpaste on his toothbrush. Honestly, I would love that because I am forever fighting to get the last bit of it out of the tube. I refuse to leave any toothpaste behind. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I hate long fingernails on myself and children. I’m always cutting our nails. When I look at their nails and my own, I just imagine how dirty they must be. My kids are always playing in dirt, play doh, slime, and anything else that can get caught under their nails. 

[Melissa1977]

6 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

can't imagine how rude someone would have to be to turn down homemade food because they assume no one's kitchen is up to their standard

Because nobody does that. But as other posters have said, saying thank you does not mean you like what you are gifted, only means that you are polite.

And it's not about kitchen's standards (while it may be a valid point), it's about liking or not some food. My worst childhood memories are related to food, so no, I'm not eating food I dislike any more. 

Anyway I see a cultural difference here. In my country, giving meals to the sick people or to the grieving one is something that was done in the past, but not nowadays. We have become very individualistic. Only family or very (very!) close friends give meals. I think the majority of my friends would feel uncomfortable being given cooked meals by acquitances.

Again, not saying that meal trains are a bad idea. Probably we all would live better in a close-knit community. But food is so personal that I put my boundaries there.

Edited January 15, 2020 by Melissa1977
Spelling

[FluffySnowball]

28 minutes ago, socalrules said:

I remember reading years ago that Prince Charles had someone who puts the toothpaste on his toothbrush. Honestly, I would love that because I am forever fighting to get the last bit of it out of the tube. I refuse to leave any toothpaste behind. 

Even if you aren’t a spoiled Prince of Wales, there’s affordable help available. May I present the end of your toothpaste battles: it does all the squeezing for you and you don’t even need to rely on the sovereign grant: 

Edited January 15, 2020 by FluffySnowball

[Koala]

I am in the south, so meal trains and the like are pretty popular.  Southerners take food to everything.  

Although I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of one, I do participate by preparing food when asked, and have even organized one for a family in pretty desperate financial need.

I am wondering- Am I the only one who feels self conscience about what they offer?  I always worry that what tastes good to us, won't taste good to them.  OR that I might forget a step and then the whole meal will taste "off" and I'll never even know about it.

The family that I put together a "Take Them A Meal" for, eventually mentioned being out of certain groceries they couldn't afford to replace.  

I took to purchasing grocery items for them (the things that they had mentioned, + the regular things you need to keep on hand like milk, eggs, bread, sandwich meat, fruit, treats for the kids).  I felt much more confident giving those items.  

Edited January 15, 2020 by Koala

[FluffySnowball]

2 minutes ago, Koala said:

I am in the south, so meal trains and the like are pretty popular.  Southerners take food to everything.  

Although I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of one, I do participate by preparing food when asked, and have even organized one for a family in pretty desperate financial need.

I am wondering- Am I the only one who feels self conscience about what they offer?  I always worry that what tastes good to us, won't taste good to them.  OR that I might forget a step and then the whole meal will taste "off" and I'll never even know about it.

The family that I put together a "Take Them A Meal" for, eventually mentioned being out of certain grocery items they couldn't afford to replace.  

I took to purchasing grocery items for them (the things that they had mentioned, + the regular things you need to keep on hand like milk, bread, sandwich meat, fruit, treats for the kids).  I felt much more confident giving those items.  

I personally think it depends. I wouldn’t cook something new (e.g. try out a new recipe and immediately give it away to someone before knowing whether it actually tastes good) and I also wouldn’t make something boring and overly simple (e.g. spaghetti with a can of store-bought tomato sauce). But I have some trusted recipes (for instance some mashed potatoes, veggies, a roast and a pound cake) that are kinda fool-proof for me. I can also try the sauce and potatoes to make sure all tastes well... however, even when it comes to helping, there’s no “one size fits all” and that’s more than ok. In fact, I’m sure it’s very helpful when different people offer different things. Some bring food, some offer to run errands, others mow the lawn... whatever it might be, being willing to help somehow is lovely! 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 minute ago, FluffySnowball said:

I personally think it depends. I wouldn’t cook something new (e.g. try out a new recipe and immediately give it away to someone before knowing whether it actually tastes good) and I also wouldn’t make something boring and overly simple (e.g. spaghetti with a can of store-bought tomato sauce). But I have some trusted recipes (for instance some mashed potatoes, veggies, a roast and a pound cake) that are kinda fool-proof for me. I can also try the sauce and potatoes to make sure all tastes well... however, even when it comes to helping, there’s no “one size fits all” and that’s more than ok. In fact, I’m sure it’s very helpful when different people offer different things. Some bring food, some offer to run errands, others mow the lawn... whatever it might be, being willing to help somehow is lovely! 

Roast is a good idea.  I'd think along the lines of a pot roast with roasted potatoes and carrots, meatloaf, stew...stuff that's easy to heat up and freezes well.   Nothing where the sauce can get fussy if not reheated just so.

I'd stay away from lasagnas because if my experience is anything to go by they'll already have 6 of them.

Unrelated to helping others, but I only miss 3 things about being married and cooking for someone is one of them.  

[FluffySnowball]

2 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Unrelated to helping others, but I only miss 3 things about being married and cooking for someone is one of them.  

I can emphasize, I love love love cooking and hosting! 

Now I’m curious, what are the other two things you miss about being married (if it’s not too bold to ask)? 

[Jana814]

3 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

Interesting. I wonder if he's one of those who discourages military service as it puts country before "God." Even though he benefited from it. I guess that's actually pretty consistent with his beliefs.

I think he does. Someone ask if he wants his kids to serve in the military and the answer he gave was he didn’t wanted them to do that.  He said something about wanting them to serve god & not the military. 

Edited January 15, 2020 by Jana814

[HerNameIsBuffy]

Just now, FluffySnowball said:

Now I’m curious, what are the other two things you miss about being married (if it’s not too bold to ask)? 

Not too bold at all!  I miss my car always being full of gas without my ever having to think about it, and I miss having someone onto whom I can pawn off the phone calls I don't want to make.

I hate the phone...so calling for a washer repair or to make an appointment with the tax accountant...ugh.  

I'm sure I'd miss more if I had good marriages, but I didn't so that's all I got!

[Maggie Mae]

14 minutes ago, Koala said:

I am wondering- Am I the only one who feels self conscience about what they offer?  I always worry that what tastes good to us, won't taste good to them.  OR that I might forget a step and then the whole meal will taste "off" and I'll never even know about it.

I feel this way every time anyone eats my food. I have a few things that friends love and ask for (like my hawaiian style mac salad, which is just an L&L copy cat) and my cevice  ceviche  poke. Then I have the stuff that my boyfriend won't touch because he likes really specific things; generally though if he likes it, friends will also like it. I love his enchiladas and he taught me to make them, but it's not the typical tex-mex traditional American way so i'm always worried. Same with his italian foods that he's taught me - his grandmother was not Sicilian so some of our stuff isn't what people expect.  And my mom hates everything and my dad hated spices so I'm working from zero support in that area.

If I was invited to a meal train for someone I didn't know that well and was counting on me, I would probably stick with something I knew, see if I could get more information, and then do something that reheated well - like a soup with some bread or something like a "taco kit" where I cook a couple kinds of meats, chop the vegetables, tortillas, and bring it over on a tray so they can make their tacos how they like them.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

Just now, Jana814 said:

I think he does. Someone ask if he wants his kids to serve in the military and the answer he gave was he didn’t wanted them too. He said someone about wanting them to serve god & not the military. 

When we all know it's because he doesn't want them in the position of having to obey anyone but him.

And in the military they might just figure out women can be competent leaders and the thought of one of his sons reporting to one is unconscionable.

And god knows the girls can't join...what with the eye traps the military makes them wear

Spoiler

As opposed to Maxwell approved modest wear

 

Spoiler

 

 

[Granwych]

2 hours ago, browngrl said:

I can't stand long nails (no offence meant to anyone who loves them). No fancy nail art stands up to throughly cleaning your nails before each patient and long nails means lots of under nail real estate to clean. They puncture gloves. They poke patient when you are palpating anything. Even though I no longer do much clinical work (essentially only do imaging now) I just can't get over my distaste for long nails. 

also regarding a meal train: chemo often makes people's mouth really sore or it can make some tastes/smells very distasteful. Sometimes surgical or cancer related changes may make some foods un eatable. Sometimes a very specific diet is prescribed. Best to ask if there are any issues before making a meal for someone having cancer treatments. 

I used to work with a nurse who sported long polished nails.  Just the thought of her administering suppositories would give me the willies.

[SoSoNosy]

When I was in the hospital for a week with pneumonia, my Sunday School class brought food when I got home.  One lady brought sliced deli meats, cheese and Hawaiian rolls.  That was wonderful!  

[FluffySnowball]

47 minutes ago, Jana814 said:

I think he does. Someone ask if he wants his kids to serve in the military and the answer he gave was he didn’t wanted them to do that.  He said something about wanting them to serve god & not the military. 

For so many of these fundies, God is nothing more than the extension of their own desires for power and control. 

[usmcmom]

I have standard meals that I take.  For a new mother: homemade chicken noodle soup (because it is a mild food for nursing moms), a pan of dinner rolls, veggies and dip, a fruit salad and cookies or brownies.  Sometimes I will do baked chicken and dressing, green beans and cooked carrots.  For any other need, I usually do oven beef stew, rolls, a side of green beans, fruit or jello salad and a plate of cookies or brownies; or the chicken and dressing.  
 

Upon news of a death, I usually make a big cobbler or pick up bagels and breakfast items to take to the family. Having a few set meals makes it easier for me to get things put together and follow through.  

[clese]

I actually like Anna Marie and having not read their blog since xmas was shocked. Shes so gentle and helpful and I would love to have her as my neighbor ( not sure about her hubby though!)

 

[Caroline]

1 hour ago, Maggie Mae said:

I feel this way every time anyone eats my food. I have a few things that friends love and ask for (like my hawaiian style mac salad, which is just an L&L copy cat) and my cevice  ceviche  poke. Then I have the stuff that my boyfriend won't touch because he likes really specific things; generally though if he likes it, friends will also like it. I love his enchiladas and he taught me to make them, but it's not the typical tex-mex traditional American way so i'm always worried. Same with his italian foods that he's taught me - his grandmother was not Sicilian so some of our stuff isn't what people expect.  And my mom hates everything and my dad hated spices so I'm working from zero support in that area.

If I was invited to a meal train for someone I didn't know that well and was counting on me, I would probably stick with something I knew, see if I could get more information, and then do something that reheated well - like a soup with some bread or something like a "taco kit" where I cook a couple kinds of meats, chop the vegetables, tortillas, and bring it over on a tray so they can make their tacos how they like them.

When my mother died I lived in fear that a group of women at work would bring meals to our house (It's what they do).  My problem is that I don't really like anything that normal people like and I can't stand casseroles of any kind.  There's always at least on ingredient that I don't like and all those things together - yuck.  I know I'm difficult.  One of these women from work initially had the meal idea, and then realized it was really not a good idea for me.  I appreciate the thought, but food is not the way to make me feel better. I never volunteer to bring food to other people's houses either, but would prefer to help out in other ways (cleaning, driving kids places, etc.)

[browngrl]

On news of death I used to bring some sort of food but  now I bring over a basket of nice tea/coffee. Even if sadness has taken someone's appetite, they will often still enjoy a cup of tea/coffee. I usually try and set aside a bit of time to actually use the tea/coffee to brew them a cup and then we can sit and talk or drink tea/coffee in silent solidarity if that is what they prefer.

[Caroline]

4 hours ago, FusterCluck said:

Following up on meal trains, I've had a couple organized for me over the years by my church family and they were so incredibly helpful. I was always asked and was able to give suggestions for what my kids would and would not eat and if there were any dietary restrictions.  I also got texts from people asking about different meals. I try really hard now to sign up for others now. 

After my double mastectomy, I had a meal train for a month and it was one of the most genuine gifts. My church sat it up, but because of social media it got shared with other friend groups and there were so many people from many different circles of our life coming together to bring us food. Sure, there were some things that maybe weren't our favorites. I even had a couple friends ask for my recipes to make things that were comforting to my kids during that time. Just the simple act of feeding us made me feel less alone in an overwhelming time. 

 

 

I think it's sweet that people were willing to make your own recipes for your kids' sake.  That's kindness