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New Season: Meri, Meri and More Meri


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Botkinetti

All of their decisions are mystifying to me. Starting with the fact that 4 women married the colossal idiot named Kody and then continued to have his children and follow his bizarre, Il-thought out commandments.

The belief that he is their only way into heaven and any hardship they experience is due only to the persecution by monogamists means they never have to carefully examine their choices. It must comfort all the wives , on some level to cede any responsibility to Kody.

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anjulibai

Kody is such a shit dad. Poor Truely and Aurora. They deserve better. 

Christine doesn't want to live with the other SWs, but is looking forward to living the rest of her life with them? Uh-huh. 

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ifosterkittens

Season 14 Episode 12 Robyn vs. Kody

I’m sorry it took me so long to recap, I just don’t have patience for the Brown shenanigans with all the craziness going on right now. I condensed the second half of the recap.

Robyn has 4-5 weeks left in her rental, and no place lined up to live in after, go to look at homes. Meri, Janelle and Christine in a couch interview Christine said she bought because she couldn’t find a rental, and is on the fence with rent vs buy. Meri said it is easier for her to find a rental because it is just her, Robyn has kids which makes it harder. Robyn in a solo interview said she doesn’t want to insult Kody, but doesn’t know how to make sense of his thought process, she feels their family culture is eroding and is praying for a miracle. Kody in a solo said he wants to look at houses, and if the kids like the house they can help sell Robyn on it. Kody said he is having a hard time not getting stupid, when he gets uncomfortable and edgy he can cross a point of no return, he is angry and scared, and not being a good husband. Kody and Robyn discuss rent vs buy in front of real estate agent Shelbi. Robyn in a solo said Kody is looking for an ally in Shelbi, someone to convince Robyn to hurry, listen to her smart husband (said mockingly). Kody, Robyn and kids meet Shelbi at a four bedroom four bath home, and Kody tells Ari they have to leave their home, he needs a new house for his sweetie, and Robyn pipes in for all of us, not just you, we are all in this together. Robyn in a solo said she doesn’t want to involve the children and make them pawns. Shelbi said Kody is a pretty easy sale, always worries about Robyn, and Kody said don’t even bother selling to her, Robyn said you can live all alone then, Kody said no because you can’t live on that property (Coyote Pass) without a house. Shelbi asks the plans for Coyote Pass. Kody said he moved to Flagstaff as an idiot, the homes in Las Vegas were built in 6 months, so he figured 9-12 months in Flagstaff but that is impossible because of infrastructure. Kody in a solo tells us infrastructure is electricity, gas, sewer and water and that is holding things up, Coyote Pass is in a flood zone, and it will take two years to build on the land. Kody and Robyn agree the home is beautiful. Kody asks if that means Robyn is on his team now, and she said she is not on his team (in frustration). Kody in a solo said he must be pushing her buttons, he’s making her mad. Robyn tells Kody she is still waiting on a miracle, and God will provide the perfect rental. Kody said we put our fate in God’s hands, and we did all the work they can, and what is wrong with the argument for a different plan. Robyn said they will talk about it later, not in from of the kids, it is stressing them out. Kody in a solo said Robyn is being a good wife, a good plural wife by supporting the big picture, all kids, all wives, and her loyalty to the family’s big picture is keeping her from doing what she needs to do for her kids right now. 

Christine visits Aspyn in Utah, she moved there a few months ago, it looks like a townhouse, and I noticed wine glasses and a bottle of wine in the background. Aspyn and Mitch have been married a little over a year. Aspyn is getting used to living in Utah again, they are living in Lehi, UT (same town as the one big house) where she moved away from nine years ago. Aspyn said Lehi is a good place to raise a family in the future and the director asked, raise a family? She laughed and said not yet Tim, not raising a family yet. Christine tells Aspyn Meri and Robyn had to find new rentals, and Janelle just moved to another rental. Aspyn said to her mom you are the only one who bought, didn’t have to move again, so it was obviously a wise choice. Christine responded it was a wise choice, but required putting down money for the down payment and that takes away from building. Christine on the couch with her sister wives said she felt bad about buying, and Robyn said that is how she feels, she doesn’t want to delay things and Kody has not been able to talk her into buying. Christine tells Aspyn they have done nothing at the property, they’ve been in Flagstaff for almost a year, and it is expensive. Aspyn responds well you know it would be (expensive) when you started buying. In a solo interview Christine said it is expensive, they knew it was expensive, but they didn’t know they wouldn’t be breaking ground right away. (Christine is the only one who put her house on the market in July 2018, Janelle in Oct, Meri and Robyn the following January 2019, so clearly they weren’t prioritizing expenses). Christine makes hummus for Aspyn  and Christine said it is the best hummus, she has perfected the recipe, those who don’t like it are insane and she will post the recipe on twitter. Aspyn asks Christine would she rather be in Utah than Flagstaff, and Christine says it is a moot point, they can’t be in Utah. In a solo interview Christine said they sued the state of Utah because they felt their rights as a plural family were being taken away, and while she would love to live in Utah and be near her kids (I believe Mykelti and Tony also live in Utah) when you sue a state you can’t move back to it, she doesn’t think it is safe. Christine and Aspyn discuss the mega one house (seems like Aspyn is for it), and Christine said the adults didn’t discuss it for a month and a half after Kody presented it. Christine tells Aspyn she didn’t want to tell her sister wives I love you but I don’t want to live with you, so Aspyn asks what did you tell them? Christine responds I love you but I don’t want to live with you, both laugh. Christine in a solo interview said it was hard emotionally, difficult when she said she didn’t want to live with them, and it was hard on Kody, she squashed his whole plan. The director asks Kody is still mad at you isn’t he? Christine responded yeah, he is frustrated with me about it, and it is ummmm yeah super fun, and she doesn’t like talking about the one house ever. Christine and Aspyn are chatting, and Christine said she knew Aspyn was frustrated when they moved, and Aspyn said yes. Christine said she selfishly wanted Aspyn to move as soon as possible from Vegas because once Aspyn left Vegas she (Christine) wouldn’t feel guilty for leaving Aspyn. Aspyn said she is glad to be out of Vegas, and around Mitch’s family and grandma (which grandma was not specified, maybe Christine’s mom?). In a solo Christine said she is envious, super envious of their (presumably Aspyn and Mitch) life, they (the Browns) don’t have any family in Flagstaff, it is just them, and the closest family is four hours away. Aspyn said she would love if they (the Browns) were in Utah and knows they want that too, but they are doing their own thing. Christine tells Aspyn they have a lot of things hanging our their heads for the rest of their lives. In a solo Christine said it is important to live openly and not in fear, and that is more important than living close to the kids. Christine tells Aspyn she is not sure when they will move out to the property, and agrees when Aspyn said it keeps getting further and further pushed off. All five adults in a couch interview and the director asks when they think they’ll move out to the property. Janelle responds never, and Christine said oh my gosh, Kody said it is on a two year plan, and Janelle said right now it feels like it will never happen, it is something they just talk about. Meri said she doesn’t see it happening in the very near future. Jump to Christine and Aspyn talking and Christine tells Aspyn you (Aspyn) said what we had in Las Vegas was perfect, and Aspyn responds it is true. In a solo Christine said I told her (Aspyn) it would was going to be cheaper, we would save money when we sold the homes, that hasn’t happened, we were going to get back together on Coyote Pass, and that hasn’t happened, Christine said it is so hard, and this conversation sucks. Christine tells Aspyn it has been difficult, they want to build and get out there, she is tired of wasting money everywhere, want to stay out there forever, and not move again. Christine in a solo said it wasn’t a mistake, they are still supposed to be in Flagstaff, and sometimes it is hard to see it as a reality, and they have to stay positive they will get out there. 

Robyn, Kody and the kids meet the realtor Shelbi to look at a seven bedroom home that is outside of the area/scope of where they want to be. Robyn asks Kody in a couch interview (just the two of them) to discuss things just between them, not involve the kids, she wants it to be a good experience for them. While touring the house Aurora tells Kody she really likes the house, and he tells her it would require going to a different school, and she looks surprised. Robyn walks in and say no no no we aren’t going to a different school, Kody looks at Robyn, and says we are not going to a different school. Robyn in a solo said Kody is freaking my girls out, don’t stress my kids out, she doesn’t want to spend the evening talking them out of panic attacks over what Kody said. Kody in a solo ask he isn’t supposed to talk about the fact they are in a different high school zone? Robyn tells the girls they aren’t going to a different school, and Kody asks Robyn how do we do that? Robyn said if the kids can’t stay in their schools the house isn’t an option. Aurora and Breanna look upset. In a solo Robyn said don’t freak my kids out anymore, the director asks why is he doing this? Robyn in frustration and through gritted teeth says I don’t know. Breanna is crying in the background, and Kody said he will say it again, they aren’t going to different schools. The sister wives are on the couch, Robyn says to them they (Breanna and Aurora) are freaking out, and I’m like stop, Christine asks where is his muzzle? Janelle said it took her a long time to realize when Kody feels desperate he starts acting dumb. Kody tells Aurora and Breanna that mom (Robyn) won’t let them buy a house, so Robyn asks why are they looking? Kody said there are no rentals available, they have to make a hard choice pretty soon. After touring the house Kody tells Shelbi the house is awesome, and Robyn said she wishes it was for rent. Shelbi said I don’t want to get your hopes up because they intend on selling, but if you offer them a generous rental package they may accept it. Kody in a solo said the house is out of the school district and they have to keep them in the school district, he has to find a variance, but first need to see if they can rent it. Kody continues to say this would be Robyn’s miracle (if they could rent the house), and he would never be able to argue with her again because she would always be right, and he says sarcastically yup God is going to do this, prophetess of the family. Kody said he looks like a bully, and asks what do you do when you completely disagree and something has to be done? 

Janelle, Gabe and Savannah visit Maddie in NC, it is summer break. Maddie is seven months pregnant, wants to do a home birth, but likely won’t be able to because of the laws in NC. Maddie in a solo said the laws make it difficult to find a midwife to do a home birth, and she isn’t comfortable delivering the baby herself, and she is ready to feel normal again. Caleb gets home, Axel wants picked up and wants Caleb’s full attention. Maddie said the closer they get to her having the second baby the more Axel wants your full attention, and isn’t happy if he doesn’t get it. Maddie asks about Robyn’s rental situation and asks she doesn’t want to buy? (Totally not scripted) In a solo Janelle said she is 100% behind whatever it takes to get Robyn settled, but if that means buying  which means delaying building  she gets a pit in her stomach. Janelle continues to say they are religious people, if it (buying) is the only option presented to them, ok guess that is where we are going. Caleb asks how bad does Kody miss him? Janelle laughs and said Kody said to tell him how great Flagstaff is, and it is only 80 degrees (in the summer). Maddie and Caleb in a couch interview Maddie said her dad is always to sell Flagstaff any chance he gets. Caleb said not only Flagstaff, but wherever they move. Janelle said as soon as Maddie goes into labor she and Kody will jump on the first plane. Janelle in a solo said she sees Maddie as more than just her kid, as a mom and complements Maddie on being amazing and tireless, and Janelle wishes she could have been that kind of mom. 

Robyn and Kody are packing, all day every day. In a solo Robyn said when Christine bought her house, Kody had Robyn looking at houses near Christine’s hoping she would buy too since the rental market was limited, but Robyn felt they didn’t have the money to do that. Robyn continues to say she has never found herself so unable to commit to something, and she doesn’t know how to agree to buying. Kody in a solo said typically making an offer, having the seller accept, and getting in the house takes 45 days, they now have 28 days before they have to be out of Robyn’s rental. Kody is working up the tenacity (his word) to call Curtis the owner of the 7 bedroom house and ask him to rent it to them. Kody said it is a big ask, the guy wants to sell, and we need to move in soon and want a two year lease. Kody calls Curtis on speakerphone with Robyn there, and says hello Craig. Kody in a solo said I can’t believe I called him the wrong name, shuts his eyes and calls himself a dumbass. Kody on the phone said would you lease to us a minimum of 18 months up to 24 months, and Curtis says he has to run it by his wife, and hopes Kody appreciates that, and Kody said he is thrilled he’ll think about it. Robyn in a solo said her heart is pounding, this could be her miracle unfolding. Kody tells Curtis he needs a decision in 24-48 hours, his desired move in date is July 25, and Curtis said that would put a lot of pressure on them. Kody tells Curtis his wife wants to build, not buy, and he doesn’t want to force a round peg in a square hole. Kody in a solo said I’m rambling. Kody tells Curtis he knows it is a crazy ask, he is the guy crazy enough to do it, his wife is pushing him. Curtis said he will talk to his wife, and get back to Kody. Kody said he’ll wait 24 hours before he pesters him again, and feel free to call him at midnight. Kody gets off the phone, tells Robyn he can’t believe he got the guy’s name wrong, he was so nervous, and Kody said he is a closer. In a solo Kody said this guy can ask whatever he wants in rent, I’ll pay it, will pay ridiculous rent for two years so they can build, and it will cost a fortune, but he is will to do it because it gives them the opportunity to rent. Robyn said she is scared to hope. Kody in a solo said his words have fallen on deaf ears (buy instead of rent) and if they were business partners this is where they would part ways. 

Robyn in a solo said if she knew she would have to move (to a new rental) a year after moving (to Flagstaff) she doesn’t think she would have left Las Vegas. Kody tells Robyn be getting another rental you are going to have to move again, and Robyn said that’s not what it is about for her, her concern is using money to buy instead of build. Robyn reluctantly agrees with Kody if Curtis says no to the rental offer, they are going to make an offer to buy the house. Robyn’s contingency is they will offer a small amount of earnest money, Robyn hopes a rental will pop up, and she wants the earnest money offer on the home to be low enough they can walk away from that money and move into the rental instead (if a rental appears). Kody tells Robyn one way or another we have to be out of this house, even if it requires a sheriff. Robyn she knows, and she won’t let their kids be homeless, and she will sign the offer to buy, if it comes to that. Neither is happy with the other. 

Next episode there is a forest fire, and Meri got a pre evacuation notice, so the sister wives are helping Meri move, and Meri loses her cool with Christine. Robyn is moving out of her rental, and Maddie is in labor. 

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anjulibai

It occurs to me how much upheaval Robyn's older kids have been through. They've had two dads, moved multiple times, and still don't have a stable living situation, and they have a sea of adoptive/half siblings they have to compete with for attention from their second father. None of this can be easy on them, and neither Robyn or Kody are doing anything to make it better. 

@ifosterkittens Thank you for doing these recaps - they are very much appreciated! Can I make a request? Can you break up the paragraphs more? It's hard to read walls of text. Thanks!

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ifosterkittens

Season 14 Episode 13 The Heat Is On

I tried to make this less wall of text, and more paragraphs as @anjulibai suggested, hope it is easier to read!

The five adults on the couch, Meri said there is a forest fire, she just received notice of a pre evacuation notice.  Meri recently moved into this house, her new rental, and started unpacking, now she has to pack up again. The crowd (all adults and kids living at home) goes to Meri’s house, helps her pack her stuff into trailers. Meri said it is an ominous seeing the helicopters above, Janelle said it feels like a war zone. Janelle tells us the fire within 36 hours has covered over 1,000 acres. No one else is in the evacuation area, Janelle’s house is a mile from Meri’s, but the fire would have to jump the highway to put Janelle’s house in danger. Meri tells Kody while packing she is not taking everything, if it burns down, it burns down, she’s just taking the important stuff. Kody in a solo said Robyn’s been moving out of her rental, so the big trailer is full of Robyn’s stuff, and he needs to unload it into Christine’s storage shed and garage, and bring the empty trailer to Meri’s to preserve her stuff. Meri in a solo said Kody is actively engaged in helping pack stuff up, and she appreciates that when he sees something super important (her words) needs done he jumps in to do it. Christine, Ysabel and Meri are standing in the garage, and Christine hugs Meri from behind and says she’s sorry (presumably about the fire and chaos of evacuating) and asks if Meri needs anything. Meri is clearly upset, and she told Christine to be serious, don’t goof off. Christine tells her to stop (kindly), and asks if she needs anything. Meri responded she needed her house moved. Christine seems genuine, she is trying to help and sees Meri is overwhelmed. Meri tells Chrstine just don’t make everything funny right now, and Christine said she isn’t, she isn’t making anything funny, and will go get the trailer. 

Janelle and Robyn have a couch interview, and Janelle says Meri is at the end of her rope, who wouldn’t be, and Robyn agrees, Janelle said the stress is overwhelming, there is a limited time frame, and Robyn said Meri is exhausted. In the garage Robyn asks what Meri wants her to grab, and Meri starts to cry, Robyn gives her a hug and tries to comfort her. Meri said she can’t even think, everything is unorganized, and she got the pictures. Janelle asks about her papers. Meri rubs her face, and asks if she rubbed her eyebrows off? Janelle and Robyn in a couch interview agree Meri is stressed, grasping on to anything she can control. Robyn mentions to Meri some stuff from her (Meri’s) grandma to pack, and Meri said she just moved into this rental and unpacked. Robyn in her couch interview with Janelle said while packing she has been thinking to herself this shouldn’t be happening, it is stupid, and she’s tired of it. Meri is pointing to a shelf telling us who painted what, cleary she is scattered. Janelle encourages Meri to breathe, to maybe bend over and just breathe. Meri in a solo interview said she knows fire is serious, but wants to know is a pre evacuation notice precautionary or does it mean it is really close. Janelle tells the camera while at Meri’s house that Meri is gathering papers, pictures and irreplaceable things. Janelle said she lives a mile away and wonders should she be gathering things too even though she didn’t get a pre evacuation notice. Janelle and Robyn in a couch interview wonder if the wind shifts it could come across the highway towards Janelle’s home. 

Meri finds her marriage certificate while packing, and asks Robyn should she keep it. Robyn said let it burn, and she’ll burn hers, and they both laugh. Meri recounts divorcing Kody, so Kody could marry Robyn so Kody could adopt Dayton, Aurora and Breanna. Robyn tells Meri we will burn them (marriage certificates) with our bras, how does that sound? Meri said there you go. Then Meri said she is going to keep it, and says sorry Robyn. Robyn said that’s ok, she’s just teasing. Meri had a solo and I think she said she keeps the marriage certificate filed in her heart, that is where she keeps it. Robyn in a solo interview says she feels one legal marriage in a plural family can be destructive, and wishes there was a way to not have any legal marriage in plural marriage, feels that is the best way to do it. Robyn’s mom was a second wife, and she knows it caused her mom pain, not being recognized as a wife. Robyn tells us they asked if they could rent a house (last episode), and the owners said no, that didn’t work for them (there was no mention of them trying to buy the house that they asked to rent). Robyn tells Meri they (Robyn’s family) need to pack the trucks and be out by the 31st, and they are supposed to close by the 31st if they are lucky, and may need a short term rental. Robyn in a solo tells us she has four days to move out of her rental, and they ran out of time so they had to put an offer on something as a backup, so Kody found a house he likes, he picked it (likely none of the homes we saw last episode), they probably won’t be able to close on the house before they have to be out of Robyn’s rental, so they asked if they could short term rent the house until it closes or (now she’s whispering) until they find a rental, so they have somewhere to live in the meantime. Meri asks Robyn is this a bad time to say we wouldn’t have had to deal with this if we still lived in Las Vegas? Both laugh, and Robyn said she’s had that thought a lot lately. 

So they packed Meri’s pictures, got the papers, put Meri’s grandma’s furniture in the trailer, and whatever else would fit. Christine tells Meri there is no need to apologize, Christine said to Meri your world is falling apart again, you’re golden. Meri in a solo said Christine has a quality that is fabulous in some situations, but not all, and she has a way of making everything a joke, and when Christine came in Meri said she barked at Christine, it was the heat of the moment, and she is glad Christine understands, and Meri said she felt stupid for the way she acted. Back at Meri’s house, Meri said she might as well go pack up clothes (my guess is she means the LuLaRoe clothing), and Janelle said take what you can, she might have time to get it all, and she can do a real fire sale, laughs and says she’s joking. Meri said she would rather do one (fire sale) at the house that evening. Janelle said that makes her nervous, what if she can’t get out in time. Janelle told Meri to bring it all with her, because she doesn’t want the clothes smelling like fire. Meri tells Janelle she isn’t leaving, she doesn’t want her stuff to go somewhere else if she can stay and work. Meri said she isn’t going util they say she has to, and that might not be for a day or two. The adults on the couch, and Kody said he suggested Meri pack everything and leave now, and Meri said she isn’t on evacuation notice yet, they will contact her if she is, and she would like to be there to know. Janelle said she understand it, during a traumatic time trying to have some normalcy. Christine said it is a roller coaster ride, filled with anxiety. Kody said they have moved everything Meri wanted out of the house, and they are parking the trailer with Meri’s stuff at Janelle’s house because she has an RV pad. Meri said she’ll stay at her house, make sure she didn’t miss anything, and wait. Meri didn’t end up having to evacuate. 

Maddie is at her home in North Carolina, her contractions have started, she is 37 weeks pregnancy, 21 days from her due date, and for the past hour or two she has had contractions every five minutes, so she calls her mom at 11:30pm. Caleb is out of town for work, and Maddie hopes she doesn’t go into labor that night. The next day Maddie and Axel pick Janelle up at the airport on the way to the birthing center (which is over 2 hours from Maddie’s home). Janelle in a solo said when she got the call she knew it would take several hours to get to NC, she didn’t want to miss the birth, and wished she had wings so she could fly herself to NC. They arrive at the birthing center, and Axel is sleeping in the car, so Janelle stays in the parking lot letting Axel sleep while Maddie meets with the midwife at the birthing center. Maddie in a solo said she doesn’t like hospitals, isn’t super comfortable with them, and is hoping to avoid the hospital as long as the birth is non emergent. Maddie is almost certain her mucus plug has passed, and thinks she may be in prodromal labor again, which is start and stop labor that she had with Axel. Maddie said she will forever use the 86 hours of labor against Axel when he backtalks her. Rebecca, the midwife, asks if Maddie thinks baby girl is smaller or bigger than Axel was, and Maddie said bigger. Rebecca said moms are more accurate guessing baby size in relationship to past pregnancies than the ultrasound. Maddie said the baby is fidgety, always moving, and wakes Maddie up at night. Maddie is 1cm dilated, baby is high and she suggests swimming to get the baby in a good position. Maddie is not currently in labor, and since she isn’t she’d like the contractions to stop so she can get some sleep. The midwife says she’ll see her next week. The birthing center room has a bed, big bathtub, and the necessary medical supplies per Maddie. Maddie tells Janelle the baby is not in the optimal position, the head is down, and the back is sideways. Janelle is glad Maddie had an appointment, and they call to fill Kody in. 

Time to move out of Robyn’s rental. Kody said he doesn’t have time to be sad, he is too busy. The house they are buying was used for short term rentals so it is fully furnished and has things like towels and dishes. Robyn is currently renting it at a steep short term rental price until the house closes, which they hope is in a week. Since the sale of the house has not closed they are not moving in anything other than a few suit cases and toys. Once the house closes they will have to unload the furniture that came with the rental to move in Robyn’s furniture. Robyn and Kody are in a couch interview and recount moving in to the former rental, Robyn said Aurora said she loved the home as soon as she walked into it, felt happy, and like she could do it. Robyn said they have good memories of the home even though they were there a short time. Kody said it was a magical place, magical neighborhood, and it felt like a gut punch when he learned they planned to sell. Kody said maybe we should have bought it, Robyn shakes her head no, Kody said I wouldn’t have had to move again, and it would have been cheaper than anything they bought. Robyn has struggled with how things worked out, she doesn’t understand God’s reasoning, why they are moving back into a crazy storm with no guarantees, but she is plowing forward, still hoping to find a rental. Kody looks defeated when she said she was still hoping for a rental. 

Kody, Robyn and the kids go to the new home, and the kids like it, seem happy, and Robyn said she was glad to see the kids happy and doing well they had a hard summer. Breanna said she thinks the house is nice, and really likes it, but knows they’ll have to move again. For any reason if the sale of this house (that they are currently short term renting) were to fall through, there is a rental on the way to Sedona that they will rent if they have no other options. Robyn was pushing for this rental, it is a half hour away, and Kody was against it. Kody said he spends hours each week driving between homes, and that rental was too far, it is about his relationship with his kids, not his wives, and the distance between kids would be too much. Robyn in a solo interview said buying this house made her feel like she was betraying her family and kids and it delays moving out of the property. Kody, Robyn and kids gather for a prayer at the new home. Robyn tells Kody in a couch interview she needs to keep looking for rentals, she won’t stop looking. Kody said there is no point in being joyful about the purchase of the house, and Robyn said she just don’t know how to right now. 

Robyn in a solo said she and Kody have been at odds for months, and there is no resolution in sight. Kody in a solo said being at odds over rent vs buy has made them at odds over everything, it has put a strain on things, and it is ridiculous, pathetic and makes him feel terrible. They have two large UHAULS full of Robyn’s stuff (can’t move it in until they close on the sale of the house), so they park the UHAULS out at Coyote Pass. Kody and Robyn disagree on where to park, and Dayton is just standing there, waiting for the final decision of where to park the UHAUL. Robyn said she wanted them in the shade, so Kody said back them up into the trees, Robyn said don’t park them there, it is on an incline, everything is going to lean forward, shift around. Robyn in a solo said she doesn’t usually hard line with Kody, she is typically diplomatic, but not this time, she doesn’t care, she’s getting her way. Meri, Janelle and Christine have a couch interview, and Christine said it has been sad watching Kody and Robyn argue, and Robyn has seemed not as ease and miserable. Christine also said when Kody gets something in his mind he gets fixated, and she is sure he has made every conversation go towards why they should buy. The wives agree Robyn seems exhausted. 

Robyn wants to park the trucks on the road (it’s a dirt road), she said the road it is a gas line easement, for the gas company to use, and it will only be a few days, she’s never seen the gas company out there. Kody said it’s a road, you can’t park there. They park the UHAULS next to the road, not on an incline, and put them back to back, so the area where you load/unload are facing each other, with about an inch between them. The trucks have padlocks on them, and they are so close together it would be difficult to open the truck and try to unload if someone tried to steal anything. Kody tells Dayton and Robyn it is weird, feels like they are advertising come and take our stuff by leaving the UHAULS on the property. Meri, Janelle and Christine have a couch interview and Janelle said we own one home (Christine pipes in, it’s not on the property), we own some land, and have a bunch of rentals, this is exactly what we envisioned she says while laughing. Kody says in a couch interview with Robyn they hope to close on the house in a few days, they are paying high rent on the short term rental which is a daily cost, plus the daily costs of the UHAULS, it is expensive to move. 

Janelle has been in North Carolina for a week with Maddie. Maddie continues to have contractions that are now more intense, so Caleb took the day off work, and they are going to the birth and wellness center to see the midwife. Maddie calls Kody after seeing the midwife, and said she’s 3 cm dilated, the baby is in the posterior position, which isn’t the right position, they are going for a walk to try and speed things along. Kody is supposed to be on his way to the airport, he is waiting on Christine to pick him up, and the flight is in an hour, Janelle said you are cutting it close. Maddie sits down after walking, said her legs are numb the baby is big and cutting off her circulation. Maddie in a couch interview with Caleb said she’d doing with being fat and bitchy, and Caleb just laughs. Janelle watches Axel while they check in with the midwife again. The midwife binds Maddie, which Janelle explains is strips of cloth wrapped around the belly in a certain way to get the baby to turn. Maddie tells Janelle her cervix is softened, and they were advised to stay close to the birth center, so they get a hotel room. Christine said they were the last ones on the plane, Kody said if there had been a delay they would have missed the flight. Christine and Kody arrive, meet Maddie, Caleb, Axel and Janelle at the hotel. Kody said he would normally stay with Janelle that night because he hasn’t seen her in a week, but Janelle said she is exhausted, just wants to sleep, not talk or wrestle with a cover hog. Kody stays with Christine to help watch Axel, which Christine calls a polygamy perk. Everyone agrees Maddie looks exhausted, and she said she needs some sleep. Janelle said Meri and Robyn couldn’t make it for the birth. Kody said he’s supposed to be in Arizona because he has a wife with no home yet, and he frequently has one or more wife saying I need you here, while another wife says I need you there, and he has to evaluate what is the most important thing, and for him it is being there for the birth. Janelle is guessing they’ll get a call in the middle of the night, but you can’t make a plan when there is no scheduled c section or induction. 

Next episode Meri and Kody’s relationship. Meri and Kody meet with a counselor, I think this is Nancy, but I’m not sure. Meri said her relationship with Kody has been rocky, people ask her all the time why doesn’t she just leave. Kody said his courtship with Meri was very fast, and he didn’t know who he was marrying. Meri tells the counselor their relationship is gone, dead, over. Kody in a solo said he is done with hearing how he is wrong. 

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anjulibai

If Kody has to be in many different places at once, then they need to be living near each other so that he can be. The one house would definitely fix that, but I really doubt it's going to happen. And truthfully, it's not going to be that big of a problem for long, since only Robyn and Christine have young kids at home. Janelle will be an empty nester really soon. 

I wonder what they plan to do when they are all old, 70-80 range. Kody going from one place to another just isn't viable at that point. I mean, it isn't now, but at least he's capable of moving around a lot. What happens when he's not and the wives still don't want to live together? 

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Pecansforeveryone

How old were Kody and Meri when they 1st got married? They both look really young. Kody's histrionics about being betrayed with a relationship that wasnt what he thought it was. Sheesh Kody. People change and grow over the years. That's why you take off the rose colored glasses. There are times when Kody sounds as immature as Jeremy Roloff, and Kody is old enough to be Jeremy's father. 

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mstee

Kody acts like he was sold a cheap pair of jeans when he talks about Meri. He made a choice with Meri to have a short courtship and get married quickly. He shouldn’t say such hurtful things. I’m always surprised that his kids seem to still respect him after he talks badly about their mothers on TV. I would struggle with that. It’s so weird to me that after talking about all of his regrets, he goes on to say they they are committed to salvaging their marriage. He didn’t seem to have one positive thing to say about Meri; I just can’t imagine how he plans on fixing their relationship. 

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gustava
20 hours ago, mstee said:

Kody acts like he was sold a cheap pair of jeans when he talks about Meri. He made a choice with Meri to have a short courtship and get married quickly. He shouldn’t say such hurtful things. I’m always surprised that his kids seem to still respect him after he talks badly about their mothers on TV. I would struggle with that. It’s so weird to me that after talking about all of his regrets, he goes on to say they they are committed to salvaging their marriage. He didn’t seem to have one positive thing to say about Meri; I just can’t imagine how he plans on fixing their relationship. 

I think the "fixing the relationship" talk is merely a plot line for the show.

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Pecansforeveryone

Robin clearly seems to be the favored wife. In the eyes of the law, Meri is his ex-wife. If they didn't have a tv show to keep up appearances on, I think they would have quietly separated a whole ago with Meri occasionally popping in for family gatherings. 

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DalmatianCat

Thoughts on episode 14

-Kody in therapy acted like a kid who always has his hand raised and wants to answer everything first in class

-Meri’s been using the words “safe” and “guarded” a lot the last few seasons. It was interesting that the therapist finally told her that couldn’t be her default.

-she mentioned “safe” family members. Which of the kids/wives are her safe people? There’s some ideas on her unsafe ones, but who does she normally enjoy hanging out with in the family? Don’t know why but I kind of want to guess Mykelti.

-it’s seems like there were some significant blowups between Meri and some older kids that never made it on the show and finally got Kody’s attention.

-either Kody and Robyn have had a really long honeymoon period and this is the first time Robyn has been in a disagreement with him or she’s just much more private than all the other wives and she’s finally gotten frustrated enough to show it on the show.

-Robyn’s issues about Scottsdale seem similar to the other wives issues when the moved to Vegas. Maybe it’s because Robyn has high schoolers now and didn’t then.

 

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Tangy Bee

Just my opinion, but things went down hill after he married Robin. Should have just kept at 3. They had a nice little set up at their original house. Not a big fan but I'm curios to how Kody isn't bankrupt.

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SilverBeach

Kody just doesn't like Meri and hasn't for a long time. Can't blame him, although he is a douche for allowing Meri to abuse Janelle to the point she left for while.  Now he's finally fed up since Robin arrived on the scene, heaven forbid that Meri abuses her. Meri still talks to Christine like crap. What does "safe" mean anyway? That she won't be criticized or called out on her bullshit? She's just not likable, I bet most of them are so tired of walking on eggshells around her. 

Like most fundie couples, they got married tooyoung and too fast, and did not know who the heck they were tethering themselves to.  Thereused to be a recurring featur in the Redbook or some other woman's magazine called "Can This Mariage Be Saved"? Uh, no, it should be pronounced. They just want to keep tormenting each other. There is no love there, not even a remnant. Not on Kody's part. It was revealing that he said the catfish was not the start of the decline of their marriage, but may have been the result of ongoing struggles. 

 

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DalmatianCat
6 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

Kody just doesn't like Meri and hasn't for a long time. Can't blame him, although he is a douche for allowing Meri to abuse Janelle to the point she left for while.  Now he's finally fed up since Robin arrived on the scene, heaven forbid that Meri abuses her. Meri still talks to Christine like crap. What does "safe" mean anyway? That she won't be criticized or called out on her bullshit? She's just not likable, I bet most of them are so tired of walking on eggshells around her.

 

Robyn’s been on the scene for awhile...it’s been interesting seeing her and Kody’s relationship the last few episodes. She’s no longer going on about how there are so many blessings to being a plural wife and how much she loves the family. I’m waiting to see if her and Kody’s relationship stays on the same trajectory as it is currently after she gets settled in Scottsdale. If it does...Janelle’s and Christine‘s will be the houses I can see Kody wanting to hang out at most of the time. In the early years with Robyn she seemed to make a big deal out of Kody being a “real” dad to her kids and seemed to want everyone to pretend that her three children with her first husband had the same bond with the family as the rest of the Brown children (they don’t seem to have a close relationship with the older kids and other wives). In the last episode she was very defensive about not upsetting “my kids” and “don’t stress out my kids”.  
Maddie and Caleb definitely seem like Kody’s current favorite family members.

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Coconut Flan

They moved to Flagstaff not Scottsdale.  :mouse-shock:

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anjulibai

That's because Maddie, and Caleb are producing children, furthering Kody's patriarchal fantasies. 

I'm sure some of the shine with Robyn is wearing off for Kody now that she's past 40 and seems to be done having kids. 

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DalmatianCat
8 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

They moved to Flagstaff not Scottsdale.  :mouse-shock:

Oops 😬🤪

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ifosterkittens

Season 14 Episode 14 Baby Steps

Last episode Kody, Christine and Ysabel (no mention of Ysabel last episode) flew to North Carolina joining Janelle, Maddie, Caleb and Axel. Maddie is still having consistent contractions but they aren’t as intense, she suspects she isn’t in labor, and would like to go home if not in active labor. Maddie is examined by the midwife, and while the baby can afford to come forward, Maddie is not in labor, and can go home. Maddie is disappointed, but knows there is nothing she can do. Maddie tells her parents they can go home, and Kody said he would like to stay another day to play with Axel and hang with Caleb. Kody, Christine and Janelle in a couch interview Kody said this time during pregnancy can be discouraging, and it’s like a yoyo, yes we are having a baby, wait no baby yet, maybe, really want to have the baby. Janelle said the birthing center is two hours away, so you have to hedge your bet because you don’t want to deliver in the car. Janelle said she brought towels in the car last week, and Christine clarified towels for a car birth? Janelle said yes, she wanted to be prepared. No baby this episode, next episode. 

The crowd is hanging at Maddie’s house. Maddie and Christine are talking wet heat of North Carolina, and how Flagstaff is cooler, and none of them miss the hot dry heat of Las Vegas. Maddie said she would love to live in Wyoming or Montana, and that is the plan to move there in a few years. Janelle, Christine and Kody in a couch interview Janelle said she doesn’t foresee them coming back west anytime soon because Caleb has a good job with a great company. Janelle said she thinks Maddie is hoping to attract more siblings to the east coast, and Christine, said please no. Christine said once Maddie moved to North Carolina, Ysabel (currently 16) talked about going to college out there, and Christine said she would love that. Apparently talk of Ysabel going to college in NC is news to Kody. Christine in a solo said she may or may not have included Kody in the conversation, and says she feels bad because she thought Kody was more aware of Isabel’s plans. Christine said she is team get them out of the house, and she thinks living alone is part of becoming a fully functional adult. Christine said Ysabel said Axel is my nephew, and it doesn’t matter that they have different moms, they are tight. Caleb tells Ysabel she is always welcome, they don’t mind the company. Kody asks Maddie was Ysabel being pressured to go to college in NC? Maddie said no, Ysabel told me that’s what she wanted. The school is Eastern Carolina University. 

Kody, Janelle and Christine in a couch interview Kody said he is not ok with Ysabel going to school in NC, he won’t put her in a prison, but prefers she goes to school in Flagstaff. He said he has a funny feeling about his kids leaving too early, and his dad had a saying if you can keep the calves in the corral in the barnyard you can keep them safe and alive. Kody tells Janelle and Christine in the couch interview they are whining, scrapping, and complaining they need to try to get a home together in Flagstaff, and he sees this as a contradiction when a wife says let the kids fly, be free. Kody said he can tell Christine and Ysabel are making plans that go against his reign. Kody goes on to say if Maddie and Caleb attract their siblings back east, they fundamentally kill the family experience, and it will come to a point where they won’t be having Christmas together, so be careful about having the children draw the rest of the family back east, and if you fall for that you’re a sucker.  Janelle and Christine are not thrilled with his reaction, Christine said there is no need to call people names, and asks him why he is going 0-60. Kody said their family culture is already struggling enough, and if Christine goes to Aspyn and Mitch’s for Christmas, and Janelle goes to Maddie and Caleb’s they will no longer have a Christmas together. Christine said no one is talking about that, and Janelle said she had thought about it, and Kody said you’re tempted? Janelle said yes. Kody said see you said 0-60, but we are already going 45. Kody said there will be a real issue if they don’t get out to the property soon. Kody flies back to Flagstaff, Janelle and Christine stay. Kody kisses both wives in front of each other when leaving, and said it isn’t weird for him. Christine said sometimes it is awkward, sometimes it isn’t, you never know. Janelle said if she is mad at Kody she doesn’t want kissed, doesn’t care if he kisses the other wives, and Christine said Janelle is more mature then her. Kody said 12 years of our lives I’ve heard no kissing me (not sure of the significance of 12 years). 

Kody and Robyn got an email requesting more information before closing on the house. Robyn thinks it is plural marriage relayed. Robyn said the plural family is brought into it because they are all financially interconnected and now they want Meri, Janelle and Christine’s financial records. Kody said they are paying for four rental trucks (2 are on Coyote Pass) plus the daily rate on the short term rental (they are short term renting the house they plan to close on any day now, but it has a steep cost). Kody, Robyn and Dayton go out to the two UHAULS on the Coyote Pass land to look for more toys for the kids, and Kody’s special pillows, and find the UHAULS are packed to the brim, you can’t see anything or take anything out. It has been three weeks since they moved into the house, Robyn is no longer telling the kids the closing date because it has been extended a few times already. Kody said because of the circumstances and how lending has changed in the past ten years it is possible they won’t get the loan. Robyn said the backup is the rental on the way to Sedona that is 45 minutes from here (not sure where here is). Robyn said the family would see each other even less, and that would be worse. Apparently Kody has 15 different pillows he sleeps with, and Robyn said she has four or five at her house. Kody has the different pillows because he said he hasn’t been sleeping well since moving from Las Vegas under stressful circumstances (likely carrying so many mortgages). 

Robyn and Kody have a couch interview. Kody ask why couldn’t they have planned better for this, but he doesn’t know what he could have done better. Robyn said she’s getting blamed. She stalled on putting an offer on the house. Kody said he isn’t blaming her, he’s mad about the situation, and yes they should have made an offer sooner, but he isn’t blaming her. Kody wonders if they should put the stuff in the rental trucks in storage—Robyn is not a fan of this idea. Robyn told Kody he can close while in NC, and he said yes, but he wouldn’t be there to help unload the trucks and it would be left to Robyn and the kids. Kody said it it not uncommon for him to be needed in more than one place. Robyn said she’s still looking for rentals, just checking to see what doors God is opening. Kody said he’ll pitch a tent for Robyn on Coyote Pass. 

Meri and Kody drive to Las Vegas to see their therapist Nancy. They haven’t seen Nancy in 1.5 years. Meri in a solo said she’s guarded, their relationship is rocky, and has been for a while, and on occasion they address it and go see the therapist. Kody in a solo said he has soft pedaled his relationship with Meri, she wants to go deeper, and Nancy is the safe way to address what they’re thinking, and take the temperature of the relationship. Meri in a solo said she would go see Nancy every other week if Kody would go for it. Nancy tells them their file is one of the thickest files she has. Meri in a solo said she either there is not a lot of hope since the file is so thick or it shows their persistence. 

Meri tells Nancy in the past 1.5 years they have been trying to be kind to one another, have gone to dinner a couple of times. Kody said honestly nothing is happening, and they are family, but not acting like they are married. Meri tells Nancy Kody said he doesn’t want to work things out with her until things are in good standing with everyone else, and Kody agrees but wants a holistic (whole family?) approach. (Whatever the main issue is they do not spell it out, nor do they give specific examples. From the conversation I gather Meri has said/been unkind/terrible to some (maybe all?) of the sister wives and older children, and Kody wants Meri to repair her relationship with the kids and SWs first, or at least be making an effort with them before addressing Meri and Kody’s relationship). Kody in a solo interview said all their relationships are intertwined. Kody is waiting for something to change, with other relationships, more with the adult children than wives, and says they would go hand in hand. Meri in a solo said some relationships with the older kids are better than others, and she’s good with some, and senses a little conflict with the others. Kody said Meri has great relationships in business, but not with family, and it makes him curious how she can have phenomenal relationships with business cohorts and none with the family. So Nancy said in the past 18 months they’ve accomplished very little, and from her perspective wasted time. Kody in a solo asked how do I have a relationship with someone that after years I don’t want to have a relationship with because of the hurt and struggle. Kody said he is not blaming Meri, they are trying to heal a deep wound, in a sick body and it is a challenge. Kody tells Nancy they have a nice time, and that is all he is interested in. Kody in a solo said their struggles goes way deeper than the cat fishing experience, and said the cat fishing was a wake up call for Meri and him, that the problem ran much deeper, and is probably why the cat fishing thing happened. 

Kody tells Nancy he doesn’t think they have admitted cleanly that their relationship has really ended. Meri said she has admitted and mourned it. Kody tells Nancy he feels Meri is trying to get something back, and he feels they need something new. Kody in a solo said Meri mourns the loss of what they had, and it is scary to him but he regrets what they had. Meri tells Nancy their relationship is gone, dead, over. She’s having to mourn that while he is still here, and attempting to start something new, but doesn’t know what it will look like. In a solo Meri said she doesn’t know how to wrap her head around it, and wants a relationship with Kody. Meri also said people ask her all the time why doesn’t she just leave. Meri said she wouldn’t just be leaving Kody, she would be leaving the whole family, all the kids. Kody tells Nancy that he knows she (Nancy) has said he is insensitive to Meri, but he feels every time he tries to have an honest conversation with Meri at these appointments and he points out truths and she goes into victim mode. Meri tells Kody she will admit that. Kody said there is an unhealed victim that needs healing before they can have a whole relationship. Meri in a solo said she wants to protect herself, and disagrees it is victim mode, but agrees it is defensive, and she put up walls. Kody tells Nancy he can’t be her (Meri’s) Jesus, he tried doing it for years, it was probably the wrong thing to do, and doesn’t believe he should do it now. In a solo Kody said he has a rescue complex, realized he was always trying to fix things, fill up her love tank, and it is exhausting. Nancy said to Meri what she (Nancy) is hearing Kody say is your level of sensitivity and reactivity are so great that getting to the deeper stuff, the substantial stuff has not been possible. Meri said yes she recognizes that. Nancy asks Meri if she agrees. Meri said on a level, yes. Meri said she knows she’s reacted in certain situations, and with time realized she shouldn’t react that way. Nancy asked are they open to going deeper today. Kody said he is, and Meri said both ways. Lots of cross talking. Kody said after the past year and a half he will try, but doesn’t feel up to any criticism. Nancy asks if he is serious, he is. Kody in a solo said something has been triggered in him, he is angry, and he is done with hearing how wrong he is in the relationship, and not interested in sitting there to be ridiculed again.

Kody tells Nancy he feels he was deceived into a relationship that was very different from what he expected. Once he was in it after he had gone to his maximum of what he was going to take, it went to other people (wish he had elaborated). Kody in a solo said they had a very fast courtship with expectations and not communicating. Kody said he didn’t know who he was marrying, and as things unfolded and started to be very troubled, even bitter by the situation he was in. Kody tells Nancy he got to the point where he was ready to was his hands, felt set free, and yet he’s not, out of a moral obligation, he made covenants to in deception. Kody in a solo said he and Meri aren’t interested in a breakup, it is not about religion, but commitment, and why break up when something is fixable, and Nancy has made it clear she thinks it is fixable. Nancy asks is there the capacity for change? Kody said that is where he has been open to change, not seen the change, he has seen the perpetuation of what is his complaint (from the beginning, still happening) of how other people are treated. Meri in a solo said she has no idea what he is talking about, she doesn’t know what she did to him that she is doing to everyone else. Kody tells Nancy he is reacting now to a behavior bestowed (his word) upon other people, not necessarily bestowed back upon him, and he is not willing to go deep enough into a relationship to have it be bestowed back upon him. Meri said this is what she is misunderstanding, and asks Kody what does he mean by that? Kody sighs. Meri said other relationships? Wives, children, people outside the family? In a solo Meri said just tell her so she can understand how to improve herself. Nancy said she is hearing Kody suggest there are defensive behaviors Meri has always had, and she is self sabotaging, and asks Meri if she is ready to talk about that? Nancy said I am not saying make the entire session yours, it is always a combination of people, and she points to Kody and says she won’t let him off the hook anyway, whoever else does (think we are missing part of this convo). Kody says he should have done something about it years ago. Nancy said ok, part of my job is to make it safe for you, so I would anticipate for this to be a little bit painful, like going to the dentist, but it is not permanent, hopefully no tooth ache when you walk out. Meri in a solo said I hope she’s right, it sure is going to be painful. Nancy asks for a two minute break to collect her thoughts. 

Nancy has Meri and Kody draw four quadrants on a paper, and put in the bottom right corner what matters most in terms of relationships i.e. honesty, kindness. Meri writes interaction, kindness, genuine, honest, present, open, willingness, and two others I can’t see. Meri says kindness, genuine and having interaction. Kody says kindness, trust, compassion, integrity and that he could keep going. Nancy said they are both moving in the right direction, and in the bottom left write attitudes/thoughts/feelings that prevent you from achieving what is on the right. Kody in a solo said the practice is interesting, and he realized he has to think about it, what causes them to negatively react. Kody writes anger and fear. Meri writes fear, don’t trust, build walls—not vulnerable, fear of loss, pride. Meri is a solo said she knows where they are in their relationship and other relationships, and she’s not close with certain people in the family, and when she goes into a family situation if she doesn’t have safe people to focus on she feels panic and anxiety. Kody’s shares his two anger and fear. Nancy says good job. The top right are behaviors that could move toward ideals indicated below (in bottom right corner). Kody in a solo said he is trying to get interactions be more positive, and positive emotions and positive reactions lead to positive interaction. Kody tells Nancy he needs more tools because he isn’t coming up with much there. Nancy asks positive words are hard to find? Kody responds yes. Meri in a solo said this is telling of their relationship, the struggle with positive actions toward each other based on this conversation (Nancy and Kody). Meri wrote present, vulnerable, soft and open, listen, care. Meri said present, vulnerable, kind, open. Nancy interrupts, Meri asks is this a test? Nancy said the bottom right are the relationship values/ideals, and Meri asks what she said are they more values/ideals? Nancy said she thinks so. Nancy said to Meri Kody said you are being a victim, so playing victim would be on the top left, and Meri said she didn’t put victim. Meri in a solo said Kody tells her that she’s a victim all the time, and maybe she doesn’t look at it the same way he does. The top left behaviors (angry, hostile) that manifest the ones below. Kody said he has one, walking away. In a solo Kody said walking away is the big screw you, and that Nancy has given him tools, and it makes him hopeful but the discouragement in his heart from where they have been, with the hurdles to overcomes, he’s not sure how it will apply. Kody tells Nancy he sees value, he’s getting optimistic and now has to step into it with Meri. Kody in a solo said he can change his thinking to exploit the positive. He gives the example at first he said Meri’s is great with people she works with, but not great with her fmaily. Now he can say you have great relationships with your business people, and I hope you can expand/share/grow that with your family relationships.  

Nancy asks Meri what she’s thinking, and Meri said she’s taking it in. Nancy asks her if she needs more help? Meri said yes, but she builds a wall, and Nancy said the wall building goes directly against what you crave so genuinely. Meri in a solo said she expects she and Kody to do the work, and guesses neither is willing to see what the other is doing, and she will have hope, a glimmer of light, and then gets cautious by instinct or something Kody does,. Meri said she feels like she is doing the work, and doesn’t feel like she sees what Kody is doing. Nancy asks them to pick a theme like control, and she said from her perception they are both exceedingly controlling people in different ways. Nancy said Kody will do it with charm and humor, and she has never seen him not get his way in very significant situations i.e. the family moved when they had great opposition. Nancy said she sees Meri as highly controlling in a protective sense, and asks them to go to dinner and discuss it. Meri in a solo said she 100% agrees with Nancy, she will control her environment, protect herself, and the people she loves. Nancy’s assignment is to work on control. Kody said he is willing to see what they can do. Meri in a solo said she is glad Kody was willing to come see Nancy, and doesn’t know how to do it without her. Meri feels what she is doing isn’t working, feels she tried many things over the years, and it has only gotten worse. Kody in a solo said the appointment was really productive, gave him tools to use, and he hopes Meri got something out of it too. 

Next episode Maddie is in labor, and they are worried she won’t make it to the midwife, she does, but they aren’t sure if Caleb will make it for the delivery. The baby is shown on an oxygen masks, and I believe Janelle said she’s not breathing on her own. Robyn said when Kody is attached to a mortgage it takes longer, and Kody said we are all in this together, not just him, and Robyn said she isn’t the one married to three other women. 

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Natalie22
1 hour ago, ifosterkittens said:

Season 14 Episode 14 Baby Steps

Last episode Kody, Christine and Ysabel (no mention of Ysabel last episode) flew to North Carolina joining Janelle, Maddie, Caleb and Axel. Maddie is still having consistent contractions but they aren’t as intense, she suspects she isn’t in labor, and would like to go home if not in active labor. Maddie is examined by the midwife, and while the baby can afford to come forward, Maddie is not in labor, and can go home. Maddie is disappointed, but knows there is nothing she can do. Maddie tells her parents they can go home, and Kody said he would like to stay another day to play with Axel and hang with Caleb. Kody, Christine and Janelle in a couch interview Kody said this time during pregnancy can be discouraging, and it’s like a yoyo, yes we are having a baby, wait no baby yet, maybe, really want to have the baby. Janelle said the birthing center is two hours away, so you have to hedge your bet because you don’t want to deliver in the car. Janelle said she brought towels in the car last week, and Christine clarified towels for a car birth? Janelle said yes, she wanted to be prepared. No baby this episode, next episode. 

The crowd is hanging at Maddie’s house. Maddie and Christine are talking wet heat of North Carolina, and how Flagstaff is cooler, and none of them miss the hot dry heat of Las Vegas. Maddie said she would love to live in Wyoming or Montana, and that is the plan to move there in a few years. Janelle, Christine and Kody in a couch interview Janelle said she doesn’t foresee them coming back west anytime soon because Caleb has a good job with a great company. Janelle said she thinks Maddie is hoping to attract more siblings to the east coast, and Christine, said please no. Christine said once Maddie moved to North Carolina, Ysabel (currently 16) talked about going to college out there, and Christine said she would love that. Apparently talk of Ysabel going to college in NC is news to Kody. Christine in a solo said she may or may not have included Kody in the conversation, and says she feels bad because she thought Kody was more aware of Isabel’s plans. Christine said she is team get them out of the house, and she thinks living alone is part of becoming a fully functional adult. Christine said Ysabel said Axel is my nephew, and it doesn’t matter that they have different moms, they are tight. Caleb tells Ysabel she is always welcome, they don’t mind the company. Kody asks Maddie was Ysabel being pressured to go to college in NC? Maddie said no, Ysabel told me that’s what she wanted. The school is Eastern Carolina University. 

Kody, Janelle and Christine in a couch interview Kody said he is not ok with Ysabel going to school in NC, he won’t put her in a prison, but prefers she goes to school in Flagstaff. He said he has a funny feeling about his kids leaving too early, and his dad had a saying if you can keep the calves in the corral in the barnyard you can keep them safe and alive. Kody tells Janelle and Christine in the couch interview they are whining, scrapping, and complaining they need to try to get a home together in Flagstaff, and he sees this as a contradiction when a wife says let the kids fly, be free. Kody said he can tell Christine and Ysabel are making plans that go against his reign. Kody goes on to say if Maddie and Caleb attract their siblings back east, they fundamentally kill the family experience, and it will come to a point where they won’t be having Christmas together, so be careful about having the children draw the rest of the family back east, and if you fall for that you’re a sucker.  Janelle and Christine are not thrilled with his reaction, Christine said there is no need to call people names, and asks him why he is going 0-60. Kody said their family culture is already struggling enough, and if Christine goes to Aspyn and Mitch’s for Christmas, and Janelle goes to Maddie and Caleb’s they will no longer have a Christmas together. Christine said no one is talking about that, and Janelle said she had thought about it, and Kody said you’re tempted? Janelle said yes. Kody said see you said 0-60, but we are already going 45. Kody said there will be a real issue if they don’t get out to the property soon. Kody flies back to Flagstaff, Janelle and Christine stay. Kody kisses both wives in front of each other when leaving, and said it isn’t weird for him. Christine said sometimes it is awkward, sometimes it isn’t, you never know. Janelle said if she is mad at Kody she doesn’t want kissed, doesn’t care if he kisses the other wives, and Christine said Janelle is more mature then her. Kody said 12 years of our lives I’ve heard no kissing me (not sure of the significance of 12 years). 

Kody and Robyn got an email requesting more information before closing on the house. Robyn thinks it is plural marriage relayed. Robyn said the plural family is brought into it because they are all financially interconnected and now they want Meri, Janelle and Christine’s financial records. Kody said they are paying for four rental trucks (2 are on Coyote Pass) plus the daily rate on the short term rental (they are short term renting the house they plan to close on any day now, but it has a steep cost). Kody, Robyn and Dayton go out to the two UHAULS on the Coyote Pass land to look for more toys for the kids, and Kody’s special pillows, and find the UHAULS are packed to the brim, you can’t see anything or take anything out. It has been three weeks since they moved into the house, Robyn is no longer telling the kids the closing date because it has been extended a few times already. Kody said because of the circumstances and how lending has changed in the past ten years it is possible they won’t get the loan. Robyn said the backup is the rental on the way to Sedona that is 45 minutes from here (not sure where here is). Robyn said the family would see each other even less, and that would be worse. Apparently Kody has 15 different pillows he sleeps with, and Robyn said she has four or five at her house. Kody has the different pillows because he said he hasn’t been sleeping well since moving from Las Vegas under stressful circumstances (likely carrying so many mortgages). 

Robyn and Kody have a couch interview. Kody ask why couldn’t they have planned better for this, but he doesn’t know what he could have done better. Robyn said she’s getting blamed. She stalled on putting an offer on the house. Kody said he isn’t blaming her, he’s mad about the situation, and yes they should have made an offer sooner, but he isn’t blaming her. Kody wonders if they should put the stuff in the rental trucks in storage—Robyn is not a fan of this idea. Robyn told Kody he can close while in NC, and he said yes, but he wouldn’t be there to help unload the trucks and it would be left to Robyn and the kids. Kody said it it not uncommon for him to be needed in more than one place. Robyn said she’s still looking for rentals, just checking to see what doors God is opening. Kody said he’ll pitch a tent for Robyn on Coyote Pass. 

Meri and Kody drive to Las Vegas to see their therapist Nancy. They haven’t seen Nancy in 1.5 years. Meri in a solo said she’s guarded, their relationship is rocky, and has been for a while, and on occasion they address it and go see the therapist. Kody in a solo said he has soft pedaled his relationship with Meri, she wants to go deeper, and Nancy is the safe way to address what they’re thinking, and take the temperature of the relationship. Meri in a solo said she would go see Nancy every other week if Kody would go for it. Nancy tells them their file is one of the thickest files she has. Meri in a solo said she either there is not a lot of hope since the file is so thick or it shows their persistence. 

Meri tells Nancy in the past 1.5 years they have been trying to be kind to one another, have gone to dinner a couple of times. Kody said honestly nothing is happening, and they are family, but not acting like they are married. Meri tells Nancy Kody said he doesn’t want to work things out with her until things are in good standing with everyone else, and Kody agrees but wants a holistic (whole family?) approach. (Whatever the main issue is they do not spell it out, nor do they give specific examples. From the conversation I gather Meri has said/been unkind/terrible to some (maybe all?) of the sister wives and older children, and Kody wants Meri to repair her relationship with the kids and SWs first, or at least be making an effort with them before addressing Meri and Kody’s relationship). Kody in a solo interview said all their relationships are intertwined. Kody is waiting for something to change, with other relationships, more with the adult children than wives, and says they would go hand in hand. Meri in a solo said some relationships with the older kids are better than others, and she’s good with some, and senses a little conflict with the others. Kody said Meri has great relationships in business, but not with family, and it makes him curious how she can have phenomenal relationships with business cohorts and none with the family. So Nancy said in the past 18 months they’ve accomplished very little, and from her perspective wasted time. Kody in a solo asked how do I have a relationship with someone that after years I don’t want to have a relationship with because of the hurt and struggle. Kody said he is not blaming Meri, they are trying to heal a deep wound, in a sick body and it is a challenge. Kody tells Nancy they have a nice time, and that is all he is interested in. Kody in a solo said their struggles goes way deeper than the cat fishing experience, and said the cat fishing was a wake up call for Meri and him, that the problem ran much deeper, and is probably why the cat fishing thing happened. 

Kody tells Nancy he doesn’t think they have admitted cleanly that their relationship has really ended. Meri said she has admitted and mourned it. Kody tells Nancy he feels Meri is trying to get something back, and he feels they need something new. Kody in a solo said Meri mourns the loss of what they had, and it is scary to him but he regrets what they had. Meri tells Nancy their relationship is gone, dead, over. She’s having to mourn that while he is still here, and attempting to start something new, but doesn’t know what it will look like. In a solo Meri said she doesn’t know how to wrap her head around it, and wants a relationship with Kody. Meri also said people ask her all the time why doesn’t she just leave. Meri said she wouldn’t just be leaving Kody, she would be leaving the whole family, all the kids. Kody tells Nancy that he knows she (Nancy) has said he is insensitive to Meri, but he feels every time he tries to have an honest conversation with Meri at these appointments and he points out truths and she goes into victim mode. Meri tells Kody she will admit that. Kody said there is an unhealed victim that needs healing before they can have a whole relationship. Meri in a solo said she wants to protect herself, and disagrees it is victim mode, but agrees it is defensive, and she put up walls. Kody tells Nancy he can’t be her (Meri’s) Jesus, he tried doing it for years, it was probably the wrong thing to do, and doesn’t believe he should do it now. In a solo Kody said he has a rescue complex, realized he was always trying to fix things, fill up her love tank, and it is exhausting. Nancy said to Meri what she (Nancy) is hearing Kody say is your level of sensitivity and reactivity are so great that getting to the deeper stuff, the substantial stuff has not been possible. Meri said yes she recognizes that. Nancy asks Meri if she agrees. Meri said on a level, yes. Meri said she knows she’s reacted in certain situations, and with time realized she shouldn’t react that way. Nancy asked are they open to going deeper today. Kody said he is, and Meri said both ways. Lots of cross talking. Kody said after the past year and a half he will try, but doesn’t feel up to any criticism. Nancy asks if he is serious, he is. Kody in a solo said something has been triggered in him, he is angry, and he is done with hearing how wrong he is in the relationship, and not interested in sitting there to be ridiculed again.

Kody tells Nancy he feels he was deceived into a relationship that was very different from what he expected. Once he was in it after he had gone to his maximum of what he was going to take, it went to other people (wish he had elaborated). Kody in a solo said they had a very fast courtship with expectations and not communicating. Kody said he didn’t know who he was marrying, and as things unfolded and started to be very troubled, even bitter by the situation he was in. Kody tells Nancy he got to the point where he was ready to was his hands, felt set free, and yet he’s not, out of a moral obligation, he made covenants to in deception. Kody in a solo said he and Meri aren’t interested in a breakup, it is not about religion, but commitment, and why break up when something is fixable, and Nancy has made it clear she thinks it is fixable. Nancy asks is there the capacity for change? Kody said that is where he has been open to change, not seen the change, he has seen the perpetuation of what is his complaint (from the beginning, still happening) of how other people are treated. Meri in a solo said she has no idea what he is talking about, she doesn’t know what she did to him that she is doing to everyone else. Kody tells Nancy he is reacting now to a behavior bestowed (his word) upon other people, not necessarily bestowed back upon him, and he is not willing to go deep enough into a relationship to have it be bestowed back upon him. Meri said this is what she is misunderstanding, and asks Kody what does he mean by that? Kody sighs. Meri said other relationships? Wives, children, people outside the family? In a solo Meri said just tell her so she can understand how to improve herself. Nancy said she is hearing Kody suggest there are defensive behaviors Meri has always had, and she is self sabotaging, and asks Meri if she is ready to talk about that? Nancy said I am not saying make the entire session yours, it is always a combination of people, and she points to Kody and says she won’t let him off the hook anyway, whoever else does (think we are missing part of this convo). Kody says he should have done something about it years ago. Nancy said ok, part of my job is to make it safe for you, so I would anticipate for this to be a little bit painful, like going to the dentist, but it is not permanent, hopefully no tooth ache when you walk out. Meri in a solo said I hope she’s right, it sure is going to be painful. Nancy asks for a two minute break to collect her thoughts. 

Nancy has Meri and Kody draw four quadrants on a paper, and put in the bottom right corner what matters most in terms of relationships i.e. honesty, kindness. Meri writes interaction, kindness, genuine, honest, present, open, willingness, and two others I can’t see. Meri says kindness, genuine and having interaction. Kody says kindness, trust, compassion, integrity and that he could keep going. Nancy said they are both moving in the right direction, and in the bottom left write attitudes/thoughts/feelings that prevent you from achieving what is on the right. Kody in a solo said the practice is interesting, and he realized he has to think about it, what causes them to negatively react. Kody writes anger and fear. Meri writes fear, don’t trust, build walls—not vulnerable, fear of loss, pride. Meri is a solo said she knows where they are in their relationship and other relationships, and she’s not close with certain people in the family, and when she goes into a family situation if she doesn’t have safe people to focus on she feels panic and anxiety. Kody’s shares his two anger and fear. Nancy says good job. The top right are behaviors that could move toward ideals indicated below (in bottom right corner). Kody in a solo said he is trying to get interactions be more positive, and positive emotions and positive reactions lead to positive interaction. Kody tells Nancy he needs more tools because he isn’t coming up with much there. Nancy asks positive words are hard to find? Kody responds yes. Meri in a solo said this is telling of their relationship, the struggle with positive actions toward each other based on this conversation (Nancy and Kody). Meri wrote present, vulnerable, soft and open, listen, care. Meri said present, vulnerable, kind, open. Nancy interrupts, Meri asks is this a test? Nancy said the bottom right are the relationship values/ideals, and Meri asks what she said are they more values/ideals? Nancy said she thinks so. Nancy said to Meri Kody said you are being a victim, so playing victim would be on the top left, and Meri said she didn’t put victim. Meri in a solo said Kody tells her that she’s a victim all the time, and maybe she doesn’t look at it the same way he does. The top left behaviors (angry, hostile) that manifest the ones below. Kody said he has one, walking away. In a solo Kody said walking away is the big screw you, and that Nancy has given him tools, and it makes him hopeful but the discouragement in his heart from where they have been, with the hurdles to overcomes, he’s not sure how it will apply. Kody tells Nancy he sees value, he’s getting optimistic and now has to step into it with Meri. Kody in a solo said he can change his thinking to exploit the positive. He gives the example at first he said Meri’s is great with people she works with, but not great with her fmaily. Now he can say you have great relationships with your business people, and I hope you can expand/share/grow that with your family relationships.  

Nancy asks Meri what she’s thinking, and Meri said she’s taking it in. Nancy asks her if she needs more help? Meri said yes, but she builds a wall, and Nancy said the wall building goes directly against what you crave so genuinely. Meri in a solo said she expects she and Kody to do the work, and guesses neither is willing to see what the other is doing, and she will have hope, a glimmer of light, and then gets cautious by instinct or something Kody does,. Meri said she feels like she is doing the work, and doesn’t feel like she sees what Kody is doing. Nancy asks them to pick a theme like control, and she said from her perception they are both exceedingly controlling people in different ways. Nancy said Kody will do it with charm and humor, and she has never seen him not get his way in very significant situations i.e. the family moved when they had great opposition. Nancy said she sees Meri as highly controlling in a protective sense, and asks them to go to dinner and discuss it. Meri in a solo said she 100% agrees with Nancy, she will control her environment, protect herself, and the people she loves. Nancy’s assignment is to work on control. Kody said he is willing to see what they can do. Meri in a solo said she is glad Kody was willing to come see Nancy, and doesn’t know how to do it without her. Meri feels what she is doing isn’t working, feels she tried many things over the years, and it has only gotten worse. Kody in a solo said the appointment was really productive, gave him tools to use, and he hopes Meri got something out of it too. 

Next episode Maddie is in labor, and they are worried she won’t make it to the midwife, she does, but they aren’t sure if Caleb will make it for the delivery. The baby is shown on an oxygen masks, and I believe Janelle said she’s not breathing on her own. Robyn said when Kody is attached to a mortgage it takes longer, and Kody said we are all in this together, not just him, and Robyn said she isn’t the one married to three other women. 

Maybe I'm misreading this, but it seems like Kody is lying in their therapy sessions about what he actually is interested in from Meri.  It seems quite clear that if it wasn't for social and religious pressure, they would not be together, and would have separated years ago - probably before the catfishing thing happened.  Meri can be cruel and manipulative, but I have a sense that this is because she feels that's all she can do in her position in her family due to her religious beliefs.  I think they were 21 when they got married and they courted, so I don't think it's fair for Kody to say what he has without maybe saying it happened to both of them.  If he didn't know who she was, how the hell was she supposed to know him?  Meri would be so much happier if she just left.  If what Kody says is true and she is able to have really good business relationships, then I suspect it's the situation in the family, not solely who Meri is as a person that is making things toxic.  It's too bad Meri believes she needs to be married to a man with at least 3 wives in order to get into heaven.  She may also believe that since Mariah is sealed to Kody and not her, if she left Kody she wouldn't see Mariah in heaven.  

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Meri is always the victim. Nothing is ever her fault.

Had she done the IVF years ago when it was first mentioned - she could have had other kids - a purpose, a reason for kody to come around. Im sorry but two dates in 1.5years?? Is that just her birthday and their anniversary?? The bare minimum.

I think the minute mariah moved out the whole family relationship changed. When they were in the culdesac kody had the other wives to keep him going from house to house each night. I suspect since they moved he probably doesn’t go every 4th night to Meri’s, hes spending that other night with one of the other wives - or robyn full time.

I agree with whoever said robyn coming along seemed to change them. I wonder how different their lives would be if they never went public and stayed put in utah in the joint house. They seemed to have good jobs and enough money then.

So they now own the house in utah, meris b&b, various houses in las vegas, land at coyote pass and various houses in flagstaff.... its no wonder kody doesnt sleep at night!!

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Coconut Flan

They sold the Utah house before selling all the Vegas houses.  They're down to Coyote Pass and two houses in Flagstaff.  That's still too much to fund along with all the kids they have in line to go to college.

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Natalie22
7 hours ago, kiwi said:



Had she done the IVF years ago when it was first mentioned - she could have had other kids - a purpose, a reason for kody to come around. Im sorry but two dates in 1.5years?? Is that just her birthday and their anniversary?? The bare minimum.
 

If they are only going on two dates in a year in a half, I don't see why they just don't come out and end their relationship.  They're not even trying to keep up appearances.  So why force Meri to keep trying for a relationship that will never work?  It's easy for it not to matter as much to Kody since he has 3 other marriages, but Meri is only allowed to have one.  Why won't he just come out and tell her he doesn't want a marriage and do what's best for everyone.

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ifosterkittens

If Meri and Kody were serious about creating a new relationship (whatever that may look like) they would have made the effort to go to therapy, both together and alone without cameras. They have the money and the time, so they could have made it a priority. If they wanted to re-enact therapy sessions for TLC, or give a couch interview recap of what happened in therapy fine, but I can’t see anyone being totally open and honest and really working through their issues in front of cameras. 

On 4/8/2020 at 5:49 PM, DalmatianCat said:

-Meri’s been using the words “safe” and “guarded” a lot the last few seasons. It was interesting that the therapist finally told her that couldn’t be her default.

-she mentioned “safe” family members. Which of the kids/wives are her safe people? There’s some ideas on her unsafe ones, but who does she normally enjoy hanging out with in the family? Don’t know why but I kind of want to guess Mykelti.

-it’s seems like there were some significant blowups between Meri and some older kids that never made it on the show and finally got Kody’s attention.

I agree Meri is always the victim, and needs to stop using the word safe. She uses it as an out. No idea who the “safe” family members are, Mariah isn’t at most events now since she’s living in Chicago. My guess is Robyn and some of her kids. 

Add me to the list of people wondering what has happened between Meri and the older kids. It wouldn’t surprise me if Janelle and Christine’s older kids got sick and tired of seeing Meri treat their moms' like crap, and always get her way. Based on what Kody was saying about Meri’s relationship with the older kids I believe it goes beyond that, and would agree there was some kind of blowup. Meri seems in no rush to mend fences with the adult kids. 

On 4/8/2020 at 7:16 PM, SilverBeach said:

Like most fundie couples, they got married too young and too fast, and did not know who the heck they were tethering themselves to.

The short courtship absolutely goes both ways, neither knew what to expect form the other. I understand and respect some couples choose not to live together or have sex before marriage, but don’t they see it is foolish to not take the time to really get to know each other? Kody clearly feels Meri deceived him, and now he is stuck with her and he resents her for it.

20 hours ago, Natalie22 said:

Maybe I'm misreading this, but it seems like Kody is lying in their therapy sessions about what he actually is interested in from Meri.  It seems quite clear that if it wasn't for social and religious pressure, they would not be together, and would have separated years ago - probably before the catfishing thing happened.

When Kody said religion wasn’t the reason he didn’t leave Meri I was surprised. Maybe his real concern is public appearance (for the TV show and to other members of his church). Kody seems content with his current arrangement with Meri, still “married", and they film together occasionally, but otherwise live totally separate lives. Kody knows people view Meri as a witch, so as long as he doesn’t leave her he has nothing to lose. Meri is the one who would really lose out if she left Kody. Financially I doubt she could maintain her lifestyle without a TLC paycheck. She and Kody are divorced so she wouldn’t qualify for alimony, and her name is on one of the Coyote Pass lots, so she could force him to sell it (or buy her out), but I doubt that would provide much money. Jon Gosling waited years before saying certain things, so you have to think she has signed some sort of confidentiality with TLC, and can’t just go out and write a tell all. As of last season Mariah was pissed at her mom for the cat fishing, and it doesn’t look like their relationship has improved, and Meri may worry if she left Kody she would further damage her relationship with Mariah. 

17 hours ago, kiwi said:

I wonder how different their lives would be if they never went public and stayed put in utah in the joint house. They seemed to have good jobs and enough money then.

I think Kody has always lived above his means. Prior to the show starting in 2010 Kody, Meri, Janelle and Christine had all filed for bankruptcy, and Christine was spotted using a food stamp card in an early episode. It would not surprise me if they file for bankruptcy again soon after the shows ends. The link includes the bankruptcy links. http://sisterwivesblog.blogspot.com/2011/06/sister-wives-absolulty-used-welfare.html 

 

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7 minutes ago, ifosterkittens said:

As of last season Mariah was pissed at her mom for the cat fishing, and it doesn’t look like their relationship has improved, and Meri may worry if she left Kody she would further damage her relationship with Mariah. 

 

 

I wonder if her relationship with Mariah might actually improve if she left Kody.  I'm sure it's not lost on Mariah how unhappy both of her parents are and I think part of the reason she is so unhappy with Meri is that Meri didn't have the guts to just leave and instead fell for a fake person on the internet. I think if Meri left without creating a ton of extra drama and just was able to set herself up in Utah running her B&B, she'd feel better towards her.

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