Seewalds 43: Pants may Have Been Worn Or Not

[SassyPants]

Jessa and her Counting On participants are celebrities, no matter how minor, and she makes her living off of a customer based TV show. No customers/viewers equals no job and no money. So her job, like every other job on the planet, comes with both positive aspects and negatives. It is Jessa’s responsibility, just like every other worker’s, to learn how to gracefully respond, or to do respond at all, to the negatives. I was a nurse for 35 years and there were times patient’s family (patients were infants and children) might say or do something that I might not have agreed with, but snarking back was never a viable option. Did any of the other mothers respond in kind, or just Jessa?  Jessa likes to bite back but doesn’t appear to like being nipped at herself. Funny how that it always seems to be those people who are quick to react who have the thinnest skin.

[Ever]

Someone desperately needs to tell Jessa and Lauren that these hats are beyond foolish looking. Poor girls....

[LillyP]

Pumping is A LOT of work. After struggling with nursing (and no weight gain) I ended up having to exclusively pump the first 5 months until I could get my baby to start nursing again. Even after he started nursing I did still pump because I personally enjoy the freedom that comes along with other people being able to feed my child. HOWEVER, I have *plenty* of non-religious friends who see exclusive nursing as a badge of honor. They have zero desire to pump and are perfectly find having their kids with them 24/7. I am not about that life...momma needs a break. I'm just saying that I know a lot of people who aren't fundie who flat our refuse to do anything without their kids despite having a fully capable spouse/partner at home who could keep the kids. 

[SweetJuly]

I don't understand why people are wilfully choosing to misunderstand what @Sabine said - she was not criticising Jessa for breastfeeding/not pumping, but for her condescending answer to an admittedly slightly catty question why the Duggar men can't watch the children for an hour or two.

Jessa could have indeed simply said that she likes/prefers to have her baby with her or found another snarky way to get back at the OP's "Neanderthal" insult. The way she phrased her answer, however, makes it sound like it's absolutely impossible for any breastfeeding mother to be apart from their 4-month old, and for any father to take care of his baby without the mother present.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Actually, Jessa doesn’t even believe in Neanderthals any more than she believes in the Easter bunny. 

[SassyPants]

2 hours ago, SweetJuly said:

I don't understand why people are wilfully choosing to misunderstand what @Sabine said - she was not criticising Jessa for breastfeeding/not pumping, but for her condescending answer to an admittedly slightly catty question why the Duggar men can't watch the children for an hour or two.

Jessa could have indeed simply said that she likes/prefers to have her baby with her or found another snarky way to get back at the OP's "Neanderthal" insult. The way she phrased her answer, however, makes it sound like it's absolutely impossible for any breastfeeding mother to be apart from their 4-month old, and for any father to take care of his baby without the mother present.

This, exactly this. Of course it wasn’t necessary for that person to comment at all,  but there was absolutely no reason for Jessa, the star and the one so many want to reference as being “smart”, to snark back. If she was really that smart, as opposed to smart ass, she’d find a graceful way to reply to insane comments, or maybe just not waste her time replying at all. 

[singsingsing]

Once again, Jessa gets crapped on by FJ for not keeping sweet. ?

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

Also not everyone CAN pump effectively. My BFF's sister, Jane (not her real name) nursed all 3 of her kids until she went to work, but she was never able to pump enough to feed her kids once she went back to work, she could still nurse them, but her milk never responded to the pump. She stopped working after #3, so she EBF her for a long time. #2 is 23 years old and I'm guessing pumps are a little better today than what we had available. 

Of all the women I know who have nursed never took their pumps with them for a day trip, they would bring babies under 6/7 months with them, to nurse on demand, Bella, Gracie & Maryella are under 6 months, Ivy should be on solids at 10 months but she could still be ebf, that is up to Jessa. 

[viii]

48 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

This, exactly this. Of course it wasn’t necessary for that person to comment at all,  but there was absolutely no reason for Jessa, the star and the one so many want to reference as being “smart”, to snark back. If she was really that smart, as opposed to smart ass, she’d find a graceful way to reply to insane comments, or maybe just not waste her time replying at all. 

Why does she have to be graceful in her response? If people are going to post bitchy comments that are unnecessary towards Jessa, I'm not sure why we're criticizing her for standing up for herself? 

I just don't understand FJ sometimes. People preach that these women are oppressed and servants to the men but the minute one of them steps out of line, people on here jump down their throats. It's like people want these fundie women to be free but condemn them the minute they stray even an inch out of their patriarch designated lane. 

[SassyPants]

3 minutes ago, viii said:

Why does she have to be graceful in her response? If people are going to post bitchy comments that are unnecessary towards Jessa, I'm not sure why we're criticizing her for standing up for herself? 

I just don't understand FJ sometimes. People preach that these women are oppressed and servants to the men but the minute one of them steps out of line, people on here jump down their throats. It's like people want these fundie women to be free but condemn them the minute they stray even an inch out of their patriarch designated lane. 

She doesn’t have to do anything, but then she gets to deal with the thoughts of others about her  reaction. See how that works? Yep, the comment was snarky(not necessary), but so was her response. You know how you end that shizzle? You rise above or ignore it. Or she could make her life more private. Jessa has choices.

 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

11 minutes ago, viii said:

Why does she have to be graceful in her response? If people are going to post bitchy comments that are unnecessary towards Jessa, I'm not sure why we're criticizing her for standing up for herself? 

I just don't understand FJ sometimes. People preach that these women are oppressed and servants to the men but the minute one of them steps out of line, people on here jump down their throats. It's like people want these fundie women to be free but condemn them the minute they stray even an inch out of their patriarch designated lane. 

You said it better than I could have.

Someone was bitchy to her, she snarked back.  Good for her.  

[Idlewild]

Jessa is part of the Duggar circus and she’s playing to the crowd. Of course she could have privacy settings but there’s no YouTube hits in that. 
if people are rude, delete them or kill them with kindness but this isn’t the 1st time she’s done the ‘sassy momma keeping it real with my dirty house ‘ act. 
I don’t think she has to keep sweet at all- I also don’t think she has to live off publicity hits & keep quiet about the way her father treats the person she wanted when she was in labour. Of all the people who get snarky comments on her timeline she’s way down on my sympathy list, 

[viii]

9 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

She doesn’t have to do anything, but then she gets to deal with the thoughts of others about her  reaction. See how that works? Yep, the comment was snarky(not necessary), but so was her response. You know how you end that shizzle? You rise above or ignore it. Or she could make her life more private. Jessa has choices.

 

I wish we had an eye rolling reaction. 

[SassyPants]

Just now, viii said:

I wish we had an eye rolling reaction. 

LOL!

3 minutes ago, Idlewild said:

Jessa is part of the Duggar circus and she’s playing to the crowd. Of course she could have privacy settings but there’s no YouTube hits in that. 
if people are rude, delete them or kill them with kindness but this isn’t the 1st time she’s done the ‘sassy momma keeping it real with my dirty house ‘ act. 
I don’t think she has to keep sweet at all- I also don’t think she has to live off publicity hits & keep quiet about the way her father treats the person she wanted when she was in labour. Of all the people who get snarky comments on her timeline she’s way down on my sympathy list, 

Exactly. This Is how she makes her living. Obviously she must enjoy the banter. Pick a different way to make a living, but realize that you can’t bite the hand that feeds you. In any real job, you’d soon be unemployed.

Jessa  needs to grow up.

[Idlewild]

1 minute ago, SassyPants said:

LOL!

Exactly. This Is how she makes her living. Obviously she must enjoy the banter. Pick a different way to make a living, but realize that you can’t bite the hand that feeds you. In any real job, you’d soon be unemployed.

Jessa  needs to grow up.

Just to clarify there’s no need for rudeness on either side - she could just reply with ‘that’s really rude’ but she has been in the game long enough to know when she claps back it creates interest ( and here we are!) and when you’re pitching for your show to be renewed (nearly) all publicity is good publicity. 

[Bad Wolf]

3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Actually, Jessa doesn’t even believe in Neanderthals any more than she believes in the Easter bunny. 

Wait. There's no Easter bunny? Next you'll tell me there's no Santa or tooth fairy. You just ruined my day. 

[lizzybee]

But are we just going to ignore the stupidity of the comment she was responding to? She only had her breastfeeding daughter with her. Odds are high her husband WAS watching her other two children. 

[Idlewild]

Just now, lizzybee said:

But are we just going to ignore the stupidity of the comment she was responding to? She only had her breastfeeding daughter with her. Odds are high her husband WAS watching her other two children. 

I agree - it was rude and lazy- I would have dismissed it as such - no need for explanations about breastfeeding etc. 
Most of the time the humpers do the work hitting back at dissenters- Jessa doesn’t need to do anything. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

15 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Exactly. This Is how she makes her living. Obviously she must enjoy the banter. Pick a different way to make a living, but realize that you can’t bite the hand that feeds you. In any real job, you’d soon be unemployed.

Jessa  needs to grow up.

I'm confused.  People who come to a snark board of their own volition, without getting any financial gain, are upset that Jessa is snarking on her own platform?

If she needs to grow up than all of FJ needs to find some adults and Freaky Friday ourselves into grown-ups, too.

[Idlewild]

2 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I'm confused.  People who come to a snark board of their own volition, without getting any financial gain, are upset that Jessa is snarking on her own platform?

If she needs to grow up than all of FJ needs to find some adults and Freaky Friday ourselves into grown-ups, too.

Please don’t make me have to grow up!

 I’m not expressing it very well but I’m trying to say I think Jessa is selective about  clapping back for maximum impact. The comment was inane and didn’t merit a reply but she went there guns blazing. It was an easy win for her. 

[Cate32]

Someone correct me if I’m wrong, but I always thought the phrase “keeping sweet” was a fundamentalist Mormon thing. I’ve never heard the Duggars use it but it seems like people refer to it in the Duggar threads a lot. 

[neuroticcat]

Meh...I think she’s also just an ordinary person. Certain comments may provoke her more than others or she may just feel like finally responding or she may be having a snarky day. ??‍♀️ Or she might comment back if people are insulting her husband.

Yeah they are influencers but I don’t think everything is evaluated for maximum impact. 

I also think they only read a few comments or maybe only of those they follow on their posts. My guess is sometimes they read more and respond when they feel like it. 

Edited March 4, 2020 by neuroticcat

[viii]

1 hour ago, Cate32 said:

Someone correct me if I’m wrong, but I always thought the phrase “keeping sweet” was a fundamentalist Mormon thing. I’ve never heard the Duggars use it but it seems like people refer to it in the Duggar threads a lot. 

I've never heard the Duggars use that exact phrase. They've used phrases similar to it about always being joyful and stuff, but the keep sweet is a Mormon thing that has wound its way into fundie talk everywhere. 

Someone correct me if I'm wrong. 

[Glasgowghirl]

I kinda like snarky Jessa, from what we have seen Ben is a good hands on dad to his children and has no issue looking after them, it probably worked out for them that Jessa took Ivy and the boy's stayed with Ben and had fun. I wonder how many ice cream sandwiches Spurgeon stole with Ben, him casually eating them hiding when his uncles were watching him was hilarious. 

[just_ordinary]

???? I don’t get the point. Neither of the comment on Jessa’s post nor the discussion here.

(1) Jessa didn’t complain, so I don’t get why someone feels the need to suggest her leaving the child with the father.

(2) It’s nobody’s business how she feeds this child as long as it adequately nourished (and healthy when it’s about real food). Why anyone think it’s up to them to suggest another way of feeding even though the family seems to fine and healthy the way it is, is beyond me. 

(3) I would even say it’s fine to complain about the result of decisions you still stand by. Exclusively breastfeeding can restrict your freedom and it’s fine to be whine about that from time to fine. It can still be the right decision for you. My husband and I sometimes whine about sleep deprivation but we are firmly against sleep training. It will sort itself out. I complain about my work from time to time, still won’t look for another job. 
Every decision brings downsides with it. Many Yes’es include a No to something else and it’s ok to ach knowledge that and to wish for it sometimes. Important is that you still think you made the right decision.

The criticism of their parenting balance and gender roles is absolutely valid, but this is not an example for it in my opinion.