Seewalds 43: Pants may Have Been Worn Or Not

[JillyO]

20 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Ben’s sister Michelle just turned 18 a eeek ago. She’s now engaged. I don’t know if she’s even graduated from homeschool yet. 

I highly doubt it. Her Instagram handle is michellealaine2020, so I'm taking that to mean that she's graduating this year. I've been unable to find out anything at all about her fiance, but frankly he looks about 14 so I doubt he is any older than her. I wonder how these two expect to support themselves, unless they're planning to be engaged for a very long while. But with Pa Seewald's stance on young marriage, I don't have very high hopes. They also, from all I was able to gage, seem to have only dated for a few months (maybe 8 or so tops), so they are certainly moving fast in spite of their youth. Sigh...

Edited February 24, 2020 by JillyO
Riffles everywhere.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 hour ago, AprilQuilt said:

I find it really interesting that the Seewalds have a James Herriot anthology AND a lot of Beatrix Potter. Both of which I loved growing up, and they're excellent literature, but it kind of tickles me that the kids from NWA will grow up with some weird affinity for the north of England. 

James Herriot instilled in me a deep and abiding love for the Dales that still lives after all these decades.

[Bad Wolf]

My mother grew up in Yorkshire. She was definitely in love with James Herriot.

[JermajestyDuggar]

13 minutes ago, JillyO said:

I highly doubt it. Her Instagram handle is michellealaine2020, so I'm taking that to mean that she's graduating this year. I've been unable to find out anything at all about her fiance, but frankly he looks about 14 so I doubt he is any older than her. I wonder how these two expect to support themselves, unless they're planning to be engaged for a very long while. But with Pa Seewald's stance on young marriage, I don't have very high hopes. They also, from all I was able to gage, seem to have only dated for a few months (maybe 8 or so tops), so they are certainly moving fast in spite of their youth. Sigh...

Hmm what will come first? Her high school graduation party or bridal shower? Decisions decisions...

Edited February 24, 2020 by JermajestyDuggar

[uber frau]

They can economise and celebrate the wedding and the graduation both at the same event. 

I know nothing about her and intended but, if he's as young as she is, there's a good chance they can celebrate both graduations.  Three events at once.

Although we all know that getting married is considered far more of an accomplishment than any educational achievement so there's a chance they won't even bother with any more schooling.

[marmalade]

The last I heard, Michelle worked at Chick fil A. I hope he has a better job.

[AussieKrissy]

11 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Ben’s sister Michelle just turned 18 a eeek ago. She’s now engaged. I don’t know if she’s even graduated from homeschool yet. 

Geez, I saw that. I didn’t know her age. Eye roll.... would not be encouraging that, if she was mine. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

57 minutes ago, AussieKrissy said:

Geez, I saw that. I didn’t know her age. Eye roll.... would not be encouraging that, if she was mine. 

Her parents encourage young marriage so I bet they are pleased. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Looking at Instagram, there may have been a party planned for them afterwards. I just can’t imagine being so excited my teen daughter is engaged. I just can’t wrap my mind around it. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

15 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Ben’s sister Michelle just turned 18 a eeek ago. She’s now engaged. I don’t know if she’s even graduated from homeschool yet. 

Silly goose what does SHE need an education for? 

[Jasmar]

My son is graduating this year. If he came home and said he was engaged, I’d…be supportive, but screaming inside “WTF did I do wrong!”

[kmachete14]

The odd thing is that Ben and Jessa's "early" marriage (which was still later than a fresh 18) hasn't demonstrated him to be a provider for his family. Ben studies and helps out at the compound. They are living in a free house from Jessa's parents. I don't know how they pay for groceries -- perhaps from TLC money, if Ben does odd jobs with JB and the boys or is compensated with a grocery allowance for teaching, & Jessa's social media presence clicks. 

If a woman is marriageable at 18 because she can fulfill the duties God gave women (have babies, run a house, be meek/humble, be industrious, obey your husband), shouldn't her spouse also meet his God-given requirements (spiritual lead his family, support his family financially, work, love your wife)? 

The only exception is that it is better to marry than to burn. However, are these 18 year olds so "burning" for each other that they cannot wait? Maybe don't introduce your 18 year old daughter to a husband that's not ready -- then she wouldn't have the hots for him. 

Then again, maybe they do have a rational 5 year plan?? 

[fundiefan]

2 hours ago, kmachete14 said:

The odd thing is that Ben and Jessa's "early" marriage (which was still later than a fresh 18) hasn't demonstrated him to be a provider for his family. Ben studies and helps out at the compound. They are living in a free house from Jessa's parents. I don't know how they pay for groceries -- perhaps from TLC money, if Ben does odd jobs with JB and the boys or is compensated with a grocery allowance for teaching, & Jessa's social media presence clicks. 

If a woman is marriageable at 18 because she can fulfill the duties God gave women (have babies, run a house, be meek/humble, be industrious, obey your husband), shouldn't her spouse also meet his God-given requirements (spiritual lead his family, support his family financially, work, love your wife)? 

The only exception is that it is better to marry than to burn. However, are these 18 year olds so "burning" for each other that they cannot wait? Maybe don't introduce your 18 year old daughter to a husband that's not ready -- then she wouldn't have the hots for him. 

Then again, maybe they do have a rational 5 year plan?? 

I always said Jessa & Ben were just young kids with raging hormones who had the serious hots for each other. In any other reality, they'd probably have had sex, dated a while, realized how young they were and that having the hots for someone does not equate "mates for life" and they'd learn from the experience, move on, make better choices, and next time date someone with prospects and a non-controlling family. 

Instead, they lived in Duggar-ville where looking at someone googly-eyed means courtship but preferably MARRIAGE RIGHT NOW before they get the chance to sin & fornicate & bound themselves to hell forever for being human!

[singsingsing]

34 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

I always said Jessa & Ben were just young kids with raging hormones who had the serious hots for each other. In any other reality, they'd probably have had sex, dated a while, realized how young they were and that having the hots for someone does not equate "mates for life" and they'd learn from the experience, move on, make better choices, and next time date someone with prospects and a non-controlling family. 

Instead, they lived in Duggar-ville where looking at someone googly-eyed means courtship but preferably MARRIAGE RIGHT NOW before they get the chance to sin & fornicate & bound themselves to hell forever for being human!

And yet Jessa and Ben seem like one of the more compatible/happily married couples. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that they courted so long (smart choice, whoever made it). I’m not sure why Jessa and Ben are always the ones accused of marrying just because they were horny when they courted far longer than some of Jessa’s siblings. Maybe because Ben was so young and there’s that gross stereotype about teenage boys being totally unable to control themselves? I don’t know. It’s weird.

[AprilQuilt]

21 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

James Herriot instilled in me a deep and abiding love for the Dales that still lives after all these decades.

I grew up there, in a mainly farming community, so reading the books always made me feel so incredibly proud and happy. I was obsessed with them when I was about 10. I'm really interested in why Ben and Jessa have picked Herriot out for their kids - he isn't very God-y is he? I find they have really good taste in what they read to/with their kids, and they push them a little too.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

7 minutes ago, AprilQuilt said:

he isn't very God-y is he?

Not to them.  But I feel God in the love and compassion James Heriot had for animals and the humans that love them...much more clearly than I ever felt God in a church.

[ItsAllOver]

1 hour ago, fundiefan said:

I always said Jessa & Ben were just young kids with raging hormones who had the serious hots for each other. In any other reality, they'd probably have had sex, dated a while, realized how young they were and that having the hots for someone does not equate "mates for life" and they'd learn from the experience, move on, make better choices, and next time date someone with prospects and a non-controlling family. 

Instead, they lived in Duggar-ville where looking at someone googly-eyed means courtship but preferably MARRIAGE RIGHT NOW before they get the chance to sin & fornicate & bound themselves to hell forever for being human!

As someone who grew up in a moderate-to-somewhat-conservative Christian environment*, I would actually like to point out to the fundie crowd that it's completely possible to save sex for marriage AND wait to get married until you've made a few responsible decisions. I've known plenty of couples who dated (properly dated) for years or were even engaged for years but waited until they had finished college and found jobs to actually tie the knot, despite choosing to wait for their wedding night. Of course, I've known people who made completely different decisions and are perfectly happy with their choices too. I'm just always surprised by how little self-control fundies credit themselves with for people who think their strength comes from God. If you've really made a commitment to something, why do you need a chaperone or to avoid any physical affection with your sweetheart? And why is fornication the sin above all other sins? Is it just the one that most embarrasses them?

*pants-wearing, women-working, birth control allowed, just living fairly normal lives in comparison with the surrounding populace.

Ps. I'm so sorry I missed the Christmas baby conversation. I'm one too, and I once overheard someone in the card aisle at Wal-Mart casually saying they were getting one card for both an acquaintance's birthday and Christmas, stopped them, and set them straight on that score. I don't really celebrate by birthday, but my parents never let it be lumped in with Christmas (which I'm obsessed with) or go unnoticed. I think having three other Christmas babies in the family helped promote that attitude.

[squiddysquid]

The wedding date is October 2020 so she'll still be 18 and most likely a teen mom...

Really would like to know his age too, he does look like 14.

[Melissa1977]

18 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

Silly goose what does SHE need an education for? 

Her sister is a policewoman. Seewalds seem OK with working women.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

I know many people who married young, just to have sex. I also know many people who divorced because they married young, just to have sex. 

 

I always say the dumbest reason to get married is so you can have sex, and the 2nd dumbest reason is because you already have. 

[medimus]

17 hours ago, AprilQuilt said:

I grew up there, in a mainly farming community, so reading the books always made me feel so incredibly proud and happy. I was obsessed with them when I was about 10. I'm really interested in why Ben and Jessa have picked Herriot out for their kids - he isn't very God-y is he? I find they have really good taste in what they read to/with their kids, and they push them a little too.

They are lovely books.

I think Jessa has mentioned Charlotte Mason before (maybe ot was one of the other sisters?) For homeschooling. It has a huge focus on quality books and literature and it wouldn't surprise me if james herriot and beatrix potter were on a list together. 

PS: i just checked on ambleside online and they do both feature. That's a very protestant christian focused charlotte mason booklist.

 

[LillyP]

6 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I know many people who married young, just to have sex. I also know many people who divorced because they married young, just to have sex. 

For sure. I spent my freshman year of college at a southern baptist college and this was literally the #1 reason why people got married, despite what they said. I know so many people who got engaged and married either in college or before the ink on the diploma was even dry....all because they wanted to live together and/or have sex and of course marriage is the only way. 

[WarriorJane]

I don't know if this had already been posted somewhere else,  but pants were DEFINITELY worn!  By Jessa.  On Say Yes to the Dress.  She appeared on the show with Ben's sister, Jessica.   I think she's the one who got married last year?  If so,  Jessa's been wearing pants for awhile now.  I don't know how to post the link, but it's on People.com. 

[singsingsing]

59 minutes ago, WarriorJane said:

I don't know if this had already been posted somewhere else,  but pants were DEFINITELY worn!  By Jessa.  On Say Yes to the Dress.  She appeared on the show with Ben's sister, Jessica.   I think she's the one who got married last year?  If so,  Jessa's been wearing pants for awhile now.  I don't know how to post the link, but it's on People.com. 

It looks more like leggings under a long tunic to me.

[Meggo]

On 2/24/2020 at 6:56 PM, ItsAllOver said:

As someone who grew up in a moderate-to-somewhat-conservative Christian environment*, I would actually like to point out to the fundie crowd that it's completely possible to save sex for marriage AND wait to get married until you've made a few responsible decisions. I've known plenty of couples who dated (properly dated) for years or were even engaged for years but waited until they had finished college and found jobs to actually tie the knot, despite choosing to wait for their wedding night. Of course, I've known people who made completely different decisions and are perfectly happy with their choices too. I'm just always surprised by how little self-control fundies credit themselves with for people who think their strength comes from God. If you've really made a commitment to something, why do you need a chaperone or to avoid any physical affection with your sweetheart? And why is fornication the sin above all other sins? Is it just the one that most embarrasses them?

*pants-wearing, women-working, birth control allowed, just living fairly normal lives in comparison with the surrounding populace.

Ps. I'm so sorry I missed the Christmas baby conversation. I'm one too, and I once overheard someone in the card aisle at Wal-Mart casually saying they were getting one card for both an acquaintance's birthday and Christmas, stopped them, and set them straight on that score. I don't really celebrate by birthday, but my parents never let it be lumped in with Christmas (which I'm obsessed with) or go unnoticed. I think having three other Christmas babies in the family helped promote that attitude.

I grew up in an UBER conservative Catholic household and I was expected to both save sex for marriage AND graduate from college, get a job, my own place etc. 
And my mother was DEEPLY concerned that I was kissing my boyfriend before Prom because if you kiss him before Prom - what's he going to expect AT prom. (I was puzzled - what does that mean? Who cares what HE expects at prom??). She was obsessed with sex from the "you better not be having it" standpoint and the "you're wearing fancy underwear so you MUST be having it" standpoint. And even when I was living on my own, in my mid 20s - paying my own way - she FREAKED out when she realized my boyfriend spent the night at my house. Like - didn't talk to me for days and then compared him to Bill Clinton taking advantage of Monica Lewinsky. (I was 25, he was 29 - same age difference as my parents, mind you.) (he's my husband now and we just shake our heads)
It was all very weird...