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Seewalds 43: Pants may Have Been Worn Or Not


HerNameIsBuffy

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@FluffySnowball I’m not saying it’s wrong, you do you. I just think it’s weird to make a fuss about your birthday as an adult. I’m all for recognizing people and going to lunch or baking someone a treat is a great way to do that. I’d probably still prefer that to just be a thing done as part of friendship and not tied to one day on the calendar. I know many adults who act like the actual day of their birthday should be sacred and people should plan for and around it. That’s just not very mature in my opinion. Ymmv

These kinda of things tend to be cultural and situational as well. I’ve got an absurd amount of aunts uncles and cousins. So when I hear a friend say they’re traveling two hours “back home” to have lunch for an aunts birthday, it is just hard for me to grasp. 

In general, I’m fairly anti-consumption and minimalist. So trading gifts around is never going to get me out of bed. But I only snark on that stuff here and to my husband! 

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3 minutes ago, theotherelise said:

@FluffySnowball I’m not saying it’s wrong, you do you. I just think it’s weird to make a fuss about your birthday as an adult. I’m all for recognizing people and going to lunch or baking someone a treat is a great way to do that. I’d probably still prefer that to just be a thing done as part of friendship and not tied to one day on the calendar. I know many adults who act like the actual day of their birthday should be sacred and people should plan for and around it. That’s just not very mature in my opinion. Ymmv

These kinda of things tend to be cultural and situational as well. I’ve got an absurd amount of aunts uncles and cousins. So when I hear a friend say they’re traveling two hours “back home” to have lunch for an aunts birthday, it is just hard for me to grasp. 

In general, I’m fairly anti-consumption and minimalist. So trading gifts around is never going to get me out of bed. But I only snark on that stuff here and to my husband! 

I'm with you, and also agree people should do whatever makes them happy.

I have been informed this week that by asking for my birthday to be skipped I'm depriving co-workers of cake, and if I ask for it to be ignored at home I'm being mean to my kids.  

I celebrate the 3 births of people whose giant heads I pushed into this world...if your birth didn't require me to have an episiotomy I will probably have a hard time remembering it no matter how much I love you.

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1 hour ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I have been informed this week that by asking for my birthday to be skipped I'm depriving co-workers of cake, and if I ask for it to be ignored at home I'm being mean to my kids.  

I had a job once where they bought me ice cream cake in, coincidentally, the favorite flavor of the person who ordered it. There's no way on god's green earth I would ever eat ice cream at work, even with a private office. Nope. Not introducing that part of my digestive system to my coworkers. 

The weird thing is that there were at least 3 out of the 5 people involved with that who knew I was lactose intolerant AND that my favorite flavor of pastry involves lemon filling.  Work parties are so rarely about the person being celebrated. More like a reason to goof off and still get paid. 

 

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I am doing a low carb lifestyle (and feeling awesome) and did not deprive my two sets of coworkers of cake this past year. I also didn't eat it and it wouldn't have been my kind of cake anyway (carrot cake and yellow cake... bring on a nice double chocolate cake with raspberry filling). I appreciated the thought, but I get on with all my coworkers super well. They also bought me a fern which died very quickly, but it was nice they remembered I love houseplants even if they overestimated my competence.

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What, no talk on Jessa's messy house tour with cute little Spurgeon talking like one of the kids on Kids Say the Darndest Things?

  I like this conversation about birthdays, though. I don't celebrate my birthday any more than necessary. My parents did okay with it as a kid, but it was always a reminder of how "not mature" they thought I was. Firstborn pressure factors in too, and now we've come to a compromise(family, that is). That we squeeze it in with other celebrations for that month, and keep it as low-key as possible.

  As for co-workers, no one EVER knows when my birthday is. There was one job where I was bullied into telling, but the day was 8 months away, and, to make a long story short, they ended up firing me anyway for an unrelated reason. I did my research and learned that forcing such information out of a person against their will is actually illegal. But by then, trying to fight would've been a battle of one-word-against-another. After that, I just never told. I said "my birthday is unlisted" and the subject got changed, and that was it.

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11 hours ago, BullyJBG said:

What, no talk on Jessa's messy house tour with cute little Spurgeon talking like one of the kids on Kids Say the Darndest Things?

I skimmed it, because there's no way I was going to make it through a 23 minute video tour of someone's tiny house. But Spurgeon saying the Christmas tree in the Master Bedroom had been there for hundreds of years was kind of funny. 

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I watched it because I was bored. My biggest takeaway is that they must co-sleep with Ivy because I didn’t see a crib for her (just a changing table, I think.) Jessa did go on about how she loves her little house, but she knows they will have to get something bigger eventually. I’m sure she’s pondered getting an addition, but I don’t know if it’s practical or the best long term solution. And all I could think about in the bathroom was Michael’s birth.

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40 minutes ago, JDuggs said:

I watched it because I was bored. My biggest takeaway is that they must co-sleep with Ivy because I didn’t see a crib for her (just a changing table, I think.) Jessa did go on about how she loves her little house, but she knows they will have to get something bigger eventually. I’m sure she’s pondered getting an addition, but I don’t know if it’s practical or the best long term solution. And all I could think about in the bathroom was Michael’s birth.

I think it would be cool if they added a room to the house. I know she really loves that house. Is that even allowed with zoning and stuff? I think it's possible if they put a door in the living room or something.

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A 23-min video of a 2br house?  How modest of her to assume her messy house is worth that much of someone’s time. I guess the leghumpers give them enough views to make it worth the effort...

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1 hour ago, Snarkasarus Rex said:

A 23-min video of a 2br house?  How modest of her to assume her messy house is worth that much of someone’s time. I guess the leghumpers give them enough views to make it worth the effort...

Well, you didn’t see the video, but first the house was messy, then it was clean. We saw every room BOTH ways.

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21 minutes ago, JDuggs said:

Well, you didn’t see the video, but first the house was messy, then it was clean. We saw every room BOTH ways.

I’ve been going about this YouTube personality thing all wrong...I just need to video my bathroom after I’ve taken a dump, then again after it’s clean! ?

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I think I saw a foldable pallet on the floor next to the bed that I assumed was for Ivy. She had it folded in the closet when they swept back through for the clean house tour. That part made me feel a bit better about my own self deciding not to do a nursery for the baby I’m having in May. I’ve opted to do a play room in the spare for my boys and just hold off until we have a better space. I’d been pouting about it some, but idk why seeing Jessa didn’t have a whole nursery setup helped? Newborns obviously don’t need their own room because they’re better off in the room with you. Hard to explain why it helped, suffice to say I’m hormonal. 
 

The most mystifying thing for me that ultimately doesn’t matter why they do what they do was why Henry was in a queen bed and Spurgeon was in a toddler bed but they slept side by side at their request. I had so many questions like why not just in the big bed together or why S was in the little bed and H was in the big one? Idk. It wasn’t like “snarkable” because it ultimately didn’t matter because they both had adequate beds, I was just curious why she did what she did. 

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15 hours ago, OyToTheVey said:

I think it would be cool if they added a room to the house. I know she really loves that house. Is that even allowed with zoning and stuff? I think it's possible if they put a door in the living room or something.

IIRC they don't have real close neighbors, and quite a bit of yard/garden to add on to.  The layout of their house would make it very easy to add a master suite to the back of the house, and a playroom/classroom. If they want to keep having kids they will need at least one more bedroom one room for boys and one for girls and 2 full bathrooms. You get much more than 5 or 6 people I'm not sure how you can get all the showering and bathing done with only one. There are 4 of us with one shower and it can be challenging some days to get us all in and out on time. 

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1 hour ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

IIRC they don't have real close neighbors, and quite a bit of yard/garden to add on to.  The layout of their house would make it very easy to add a master suite to the back of the house, and a playroom/classroom. If they want to keep having kids they will need at least one more bedroom one room for boys and one for girls and 2 full bathrooms. You get much more than 5 or 6 people I'm not sure how you can get all the showering and bathing done with only one. There are 4 of us with one shower and it can be challenging some days to get us all in and out on time. 

If I was Jessa and planning on staying in that house (and had the money for it) I would add master suite and 2 more bedrooms and at the very least another half bath (full bathroom preferred). They could use one of the bedrooms as a playroom and then later a school space or another bedroom if needed. 

Even with the additions though the kitchen/dining/living space of their house is still very small.  We have a small family room in our current house and we use the living room as an office but at least we have plenty of bedrooms and a large kitchen so we don't feel cramped. 

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On 2/11/2020 at 9:04 AM, nvmbr02 said:

My sister's birthday is a few days before Christmas and she has always had a birthday celebration. My parents were very firm with that. I have a few friends that wont even decorate for Christmas until after their child's December birthday has passed. In our house, my mom decorated the day after Thanksgiving. Then she would put up a few birthday decorations up, just like she did for the rest of us. 

My sister and brother in law do this for my niece. She has a mid-December birthday but they always made sure not to decorate until after her birthday. My niece is 10 now and told them she didn't want to wait to decorate because she loves Christmas so this year they put the tree up on Black Friday but we always make sure her birthday is a separate celebration.

 

As for the no toys thing, I'm on bored. My kids are born in June and July and we try and avoid presents at all costs. We prefer to get them either an experience based gift, sports equipment, books, anything but toys. They have so many and they play with them for about 2 days and then never touch them again. 

On 2/11/2020 at 11:36 AM, Chickenbutt said:

I think I have shared this before, but my younger son was born on Dec 26th. We always found it hard to celebrate his birthday like we did for his older brother. Friends on vacation, visiting grandparents, no one interested or able to attend a birthday party etc, around Christmas time. So we started 1/2 birthdays. We celebrated our son's 1/2 birthday in June. He had a party, a cake, presents, and friends just like all the other kids did. On his actual birthday he got a card from us. I also refused to allow anyone to give him a birthday present wrapped in Christmas paper. If someone brought him a present in Christmas paper, I would rewrap it before giving it to him. I also never allowed "this is your birthday and Christmas present". I kept random things in the closet to wrap for his birthday if someone did that. 

Now he is an adult and remembers having summer parties, bunches of friends over and they are all good memories. These days I just hand him cash on his birthday....lol. 

My best friend's son was born on New Years Day. They do the same thing, he has a birthday party every July to celebrate his 1/2 birthday. We live in a cold climate so winter birthdays are not the best for party options here as it is, add the holidays and it is worse. He loves celebrating his birthday in the summer.

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While the Seewalds home is perfect for building an addition, the location seems rather iffy. All that ambient traffic noise would drive me insane. I figure shortly,  Ivy will be sleeping in the toddler bed and Spurgeon and Henry will be sharing the bigger bed. If they were all boys, I’d imagine all 3 would be sharing the bigger bed.

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29 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Ivy will be sleeping in the toddler bed and Spurgeon and Henry will be sharing the bigger bed. If they were all boys, I’d imagine all 3 would be sharing the bigger bed.

I can't imagine the hassle of having to wake and move all three kids if one has an accident in the night.

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35 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I can't imagine the hassle of having to wake and move all three kids if one has an accident in the night.

I wonder at what point the beds will go without sheets ala Chez Duggar!

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4 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

I wonder at what point the beds will go without sheets ala Chez Duggar!

First time I saw that was on one of the early Rolloff shows and it grossed me out then as it does now.  

There are few things in life more comforting than getting into bed...it takes so little effort to do it properly.

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On 2/19/2020 at 5:38 AM, lizzybee said:

I think I saw a foldable pallet on the floor next to the bed that I assumed was for Ivy. She had it folded in the closet when they swept back through for the clean house tour. That part made me feel a bit better about my own self deciding not to do a nursery for the baby I’m having in May. I’ve opted to do a play room in the spare for my boys and just hold off until we have a better space. I’d been pouting about it some, but idk why seeing Jessa didn’t have a whole nursery setup helped? Newborns obviously don’t need their own room because they’re better off in the room with you. Hard to explain why it helped, suffice to say I’m hormonal. 
 

Oh, goodness, you definitely don't need a nursery all set up when the baby's born! I don't know what the guidelines are where you are, but here in the UK you're advised to have the baby in the bedroom with you for the first six months. All babies and families are different, and for some it might make sense for the little one to go into their own room earlier (I am way past judging anyone's decisions - if I've learnt one thing in this whole parenting malarkey it's that for the most part everybody is doing their best, and making whatever choices keep them sane and happy and rested and capable of giving their child the best care and love), but honestly when they are small and waking so much through the night, it's convenient to have them near you. Of the friends I've made through having babies at the same time, not one of them had their child sleeping separately to them until after they'd weathered the 4 month sleep regression.

My baby is 11 months and for the first 6 we had her in a side sleeper attached to our bed (once she could pull herself up we graduated her to a proper cot) so I could reach her easily in the night, and just set up a changing station in the bedroom too. There's no way I'd have been ready to sleep separately from her before then, the idea felt completely alien to me. Again, everybody's different, but I thought I'd struggle with never being apart from her, whereas in fact I found it reassuring. And probably a lot less draining, as going in and out to check on her would have driven me round the twist and rinsed my sleep.

My experience is that when they are small, at least for the first few months, they don't need much stuff and they mainly want to be near you. It's useful to have a nursery for storing their clothes but tbh all we had was a little set of drawers in our bedroom by the change station. She didn't need many toys and what she had were in all the other parts of the house where we actually hung out - she'd always be in whatever room we were, so I don't really know when I'd have had her spend time in a nursery. Her room still isn't finished 11 months down the line but I think she'll get a lot more use out of it as a toddler anyway, when she'll appreciate having space especially for her. As it is we have all her books and toys in the living room as that's where we spend the majority of our day. The advice I'd definitely give any expectant parent is not to break your back sorting out a nursery! It's nice to have it out of the way maybe, but practically it will not be as useful to you as having a generally functional house.

Congratulations and good luck! It is one wild ride. I've never done anything so full of wonder.

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On ‎2‎/‎19‎/‎2020 at 6:38 AM, lizzybee said:

The most mystifying thing for me that ultimately doesn’t matter why they do what they do was why Henry was in a queen bed and Spurgeon was in a toddler bed but they slept side by side at their request. I had so many questions like why not just in the big bed together or why S was in the little bed and H was in the big one? Idk. It wasn’t like “snarkable” because it ultimately didn’t matter because they both had adequate beds, I was just curious why she did what she did. 

List of theories with no claim to be exhaustive:

1) The boys requested exactly that sleep arrangement. Why? Because toddlers.

2) The toddler bed was originally Spurgeon's, and he didn't want to give it up to Henry (yet).

3) Henry moves around more in his sleep and is more comfortable in the big bed.

4) Sometimes a parent needs to sleep next to Henry and it's easier to have him in the bed (on his own) because of that.

5) The boys don't want to sleep together in the big bed.

6) The boys want to sleep together in the big bed but keep fighting/waking each other up.

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I find it really interesting that the Seewalds have a James Herriot anthology AND a lot of Beatrix Potter. Both of which I loved growing up, and they're excellent literature, but it kind of tickles me that the kids from NWA will grow up with some weird affinity for the north of England. 

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Ben’s sister Michelle just turned 18 a eeek ago. She’s now engaged. I don’t know if she’s even graduated from homeschool yet. 

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