Seewalds 43: Pants may Have Been Worn Or Not

[mstee]

For everyone speculating about a 4th pregnancy (this was just posted on Instagram): 

 

Spoiler

 

[Pecansforeveryone]

Jeez, I hope that poster feels some embarrassment over asking. I give Jessa credit for answering with humor. 

[BernRul]

Why the hell would anyone tell her they "noticed the bump." Like what the fuck.

She's had three children in a short period of time, it shouldn't be surprising that she doesn't immediately bounce back from that. 

[freethemall]

On 7/29/2020 at 4:20 PM, Jinderella said:

I hated the candy challange Jessa posted of S. Elliot and Henry today. Feels like they are setting very small children up for failure or fear of punishment, like blanket training. The boys did not get an explanation, I believe the real candy challange offers a choice between eating 1 marsmellow or wait for two? This was just an instantly obey challange. 

The "patience challenge" - I did it with my 3 year old a month or so ago and my SIL did it with her almost 4 year old too. Its quite trendy. And honestly, the video is hilarious and I was super impressed that my toddler waited a full 2 minutes. Yes, there is an obedience element, but that is a part of raising kids, as long as it's not taken to the extreme fundies take it and with simultaneously teaching them how to be independent and responsible for their actions. But yeah, this whole thing was not fundie specific.

[GuineaPigCourtship]

Man, I don't get bothered by the pregnancy speculation here because the girls are in a fertility cult but asking ANYONE about pregnancy based on appearance is so rude. Ffs people, it's like the number one thing not to ask a woman unless you actively see a baby exiting her. Even then I'd recommend not commenting for your own safety.

[Not that josh's mom]

Just watched Joy's video with Jana and Jessa decorating the nursery. Jessa looked very slim and trim. Joy said the baby was due in "a couple weeks". If that's true, the video was quite current.

[Bazinga]

Does anyone here believe that Jessa would actually admit she was pregnant before she was ready? I doubt she would tell a random stranger this, she's going to sell that news for the highest price.

That aside, I do not think she is pregnant and that person was super rude. I'd probably reply the same as Jessa (even if she really was actually pregnant). 

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, Bazinga said:

Does anyone here believe that Jessa would actually admit she was pregnant before she was ready? I doubt she would tell a random stranger this, she's going to sell that news for the highest price.

That aside, I do not think she is pregnant and that person was super rude. I'd probably reply the same as Jessa (even if she really was actually pregnant). 

I agree that all the hyper fertile /profuse reproducers deny a pregnancy whenever they are asked. Recently, Abbie M for Mama denied being PG a mere days before she announced that she actually was PG with twins, #s 9&10 for her. SOP for all these folks, every announcement being curated. 

Never mind

Edited August 2, 2020 by SassyPants

[patsymae]

2 hours ago, freethemall said:

The "patience challenge" - I did it with my 3 year old a month or so ago and my SIL did it with her almost 4 year old too. Its quite trendy. And honestly, the video is hilarious and I was super impressed that my toddler waited a full 2 minutes. Yes, there is an obedience element, but that is a part of raising kids, as long as it's not taken to the extreme fundies take it and with simultaneously teaching them how to be independent and responsible for their actions. But yeah, this whole thing was not fundie specific.

 I hate "tests." There are plenty of ways to teach even very young kids to wait for something more organically, without setting up artificial "tests." Much less videotaping them. One more parenting trend that makes me happy I'm a dinosaur.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

It is a thing on tiktok they are hilarious to watch, the kids are adorable, it's harmless, they aren't training anyone or anything like that, its just a stupid cute video idea, 

 

Edited August 2, 2020 by allthegoodnamesrgone

[HeartsAFundie]

3 hours ago, BernRul said:

Why the hell would anyone tell her they "noticed the bump." Like what the fuck.

She's had three children in a short period of time, it shouldn't be surprising that she doesn't immediately bounce back from that. 

Exactly.  And knowing Jessa has body issues based on prior threads and posts, I'm sure that observant post did wonders for her self-esteem.  As someone who has been diagnosed with body dysmorphic disorder, I could never be that be bold to someone.  

Edited August 2, 2020 by HeartsAFundie

[Glasgowghirl]

Even if Jessa is actually pregnant and knows she is I don't blame her for answering the question the way she did. Her and Ben can announce when they want to and people shouldn't be so rude. That becky person who stalks the Duggar's and Bates Instagram posted to Josiah and Lauren congratulations on your rainbow baby when they hadn't mentioned a pregnancy and Lauren said she wasn't pregnant, she was but given what had happened a few months before she didn't want to announce just yet. 

Pregnancy speculation is always going to be a thing with them but no need for rudeness. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

I just say the video, so Johannah & Jenni are checking out tiktok, hmmm lots of anti trump anti ATI/IBLP videos I saw couple more people railing against the Duggar & Bates's family  on there this weekend . Johanna, Jenni if you see this site, you go girls, your parents are NUTS bide your time and you can get away. 

[LillyP]

 

13 hours ago, patsymae said:

 I hate "tests." There are plenty of ways to teach even very young kids to wait for something more organically, without setting up artificial "tests." Much less videotaping them. One more parenting trend that makes me happy I'm a dinosaur.

Ok I'm gonna be the person who does a bit of an eye roll here. To each his own, but not everything has to be a super dramatic "oh my gosh what horrible parents" moment. I did the "toddler challenge" and it was hilarious...no shame here. My kid is 2 and we practice patience every day, in every way. I'm pretty sure most everyone I know with little kids did it, and at no point was anyone shaming their kids because they ate the candy. For all the shitty things we know about this family, I highly doubt they're dishing out time out or punishment for their kids "failing" the toddler challenge. I was super impressed my child did not eat the jellybeans I gave him. Actually, I was pretty shocked. He's 2, I thought FOR SURE he would last a few seconds and then eat them. Apparently I must be a hard core punisher for him to sit there and behave. ?

[Pecansforeveryone]

I think there's a huge difference between a two minute challenge (especially if you aren't punishing them for "failing") and fundies who expect toddlers to sit thru a 30 minute plus church service. 

[Escadora]

I get that parenting and the choices people make are a hot-button topic, but I think it's perfectly reasonable to critique the Duggars for doing the candy experiment (considering that they have been known to 'train' self-control/fear of disobedience into babies via blanket training and other methods of corporal punishment). 

For normal, non-spanking, compassionate families who take the time to instil patience and personal responsibilities within their children through respectful, communicative means maybe the candy challenge really is just a fun and harmless social media trend, I get that. But there's no way to know for sure that Jessa's kids aren't spanked/weren't blanket trained, and there's no way to know for sure that there wouldn't have been/weren't disciplinary consequences for them 'failing' the challenge. 

I'm not specifically calling anyone out here, because it just seems to be the case that whenever any element of fundie parenting is critiqued there are a chorus of parents on here who feel personally persecuted/ called out for having done the same thing with their own children and I genuinely don't mean to be a dick, but you really do have to pay attention to the context of these behaviours/activities. I've no doubt the majority of parents on here are wonderful and loving parents to their kids who would never dream of hurting them, but the Duggars (possibly even Jessa herself, and if not then certainly her parents and siblings who are often left to provide childcare for her kids) are known to use corporal punishment and abusive/intimidating child training tactics to make their children obey.

It's really not a stretch of the imagination to assume that Jessa's kids have been trained to behave 'properly' and will be punished somehow after the adults laugh about it on social media to seem #relatable. That video of Michelle viciously scolding Jennifer before turning all sweet and butter-wouldn't-melt as soon as she realised she was being filmed comes to mind, specifically.

Maybe it's not that serious, maybe it is all for the laughs. Point is, we don't know, we can never know, because we only see what they show us, and it's a heavily curated, designed to be appealing and relatable, snippet of their lives.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

For those of you who didn't see the video it is Jenni & Johanna doing it, not Jessa & Ben or JB & M.  This really was nothing more than two young girls playing a game they saw online. 

For anyone not on tiktok I've seen dozens of these challenges and nearly EVERY child "passes" I think I've only seen 2 where they ate the candy before mom or someone came back. I don't think this has anything to do with corporal punishment and everything to do with people realizing even young children can follow simple directions. 

[Someone Out There]

If we are talking about a variation on the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment, my understanding is that the experiment just proved that poorer kids were more likely to be hungry/used to scarcity so the Marshmallow now rather than later made more sense to them rather than anything actually tangible about the kids.

[Bad Wolf]

@Someone Out There. I agree, I think they figured out that poorer kids could not trust that there would be more. later, so get it now while it's still there..

[just_ordinary]

Well, I generally don’t get the appeal of watching the children of strangers and even less posting publicly about my children in that manner. Cute home videos should be just that. ?‍♀️ To each their own I guess.

[SassyPants]

Has Anyone here seen the video of the little boys, maybe 5-6 who are in a room playing when an instructor comes in a places a toy gun on the table, telling the boys not to touch it? The mothers of the boys where situated behind a 1 way window observing. Every single mother believed that her son would not pick up or attempt to point the weapon at another child. And guess what, every boy touched or picked up the gun. Some even pointed it at others and pulled the trigger. ALL of the mothers were shocked and horrified. I don’t remember where I saw this.

[mpheels]

9 hours ago, Someone Out There said:

If we are talking about a variation on the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment, my understanding is that the experiment just proved that poorer kids were more likely to be hungry/used to scarcity so the Marshmallow now rather than later made more sense to them rather than anything actually tangible about the kids.

 

2 hours ago, Bad Wolf said:

@Someone Out There. I agree, I think they figured out that poorer kids could not trust that there would be more. later, so get it now while it's still there..

Not just poor kids -  recent follow up studies found that any kid who has experienced broken promises is more likely to take the immediate (small) gratification instead of waiting for the larger promised reward. They replicated the original experiment, leavIng kids alone with marshmallows while asking them to wait for a larger prize, but randomly assigned some kids to a “broken promise” group who didn’t get the prize even if they waited as told. When the broken promises kids faced the same challenge a second time, they went for immediate gratification instead of waiting, even if they waited the first time around.

[Bad Wolf]

I don't like this kind of experimentation on kids.

[clueliss]

The Scott family (five two love) tried this with their quints.  It was actually quite funny, but I don’t think they were necessarily serious about this

Spoiler

 

 

[JordynDarby5]

5 hours ago, clueliss said:

The Scott family (five two love) tried this with their quints.  It was actually quite funny, but I don’t think they were necessarily serious about this

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That was hilarious and adorable at the same time.