Jump to content
  • Sky
  • Blueberry
  • Slate
  • Blackcurrant
  • Watermelon
  • Strawberry
  • Orange
  • Banana
  • Apple
  • Emerald
  • Chocolate
  • Charcoal
Coconut Flan

Dillards 82: Derick Spills the Tea

Recommended Posts

Vivi_music
12 minutes ago, treehugger said:

I never did public transit with a baby (although baby wearing would make it simple enough), but I did take a 5 and 3 year old on public transit (2 bus transfers to school and a bus/metro/bus route home) every school day to bring the oldest to kindergarten. We live in Montreal.  There was often snow.  

The truth is, it really wasn't bad at all.  There were a few times we missed the bus and had to walk 20 minutes the last bit, but it's a refreshing thing to do.  The kids never knew any different and they are both champion walkers now.  In fact, while they now go to a school closer to our home (where they get to take the school bus), they actually asked me several times to pick them up after school so we could walk home (a 45 min walk on hilly terrain) together.  They love walking and it is so good for them.  Also, they are completely comfortable riding the bus and metro (with me obviously, they aren't quite old enough to do it alone yet).  "Bus legs" are very similar to "sea legs", and they picked it up pretty quickly.  

Of course, we are all healthy, and it would be very different if walking was a struggle.  I do believe though, that it makes sense to use public transit, if you are able to, and that it should be encouraged and improved upon.  

Yeah the STM is really NOT THAT BAD. I mean, if you compare it to other transit systems.

I admit though that I live 7 minutes from a subway station and that is such a blessing. I think I wouldn't be as patient if I needed to take the subway, than transfer two buses to get home.

When I was younger I lived in the suburbs with my parents (outside the island) and that area was not well served in terms of public transit. The transport was organized like the epitone of ''commuter town''. All the trains were scheduled for people working classic 9 to 5 jobs. It sucked when I was in my early 20s and worked more atypical schedules. For example: the last train to go back to the suburbs was at 6:30 pm. If you didn't take it, the next one was at 9 pm. Like... why? Another frustrating thing is that all the morning trains do ''suburbs-town'' route. The ''town-suburbs'' route is only availabe in the end of the afternoon. And mainly on weekdays. Because the commuters are off on the weekends of course. But that means that now that I live in the city, I can't really use the train to go back and visit my parents on the weekend. The darn infrastructure is there! And when the train does pass, it works fine! But it is so frustrating, that despite that, you can't use it, because everything is centered on commuter's schedule.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
HerNameIsBuffy
18 minutes ago, treehugger said:

Sorry, I reread it and it sounds a bit like I was bragging. I didn’t mean for it to come across that way. I just wanted to provide a different North American perspective.  I’m envious of Europe’s transit, and annoyed that Canada ripped out half its railway lines when roads became vogue.  After all, North America was settled before the invention of cars, and the trains were perfectly functional.  Thankfully, there is still a good train route between Montreal and Southern Ontario, so our little car-free family can visit our extended family.  

Oh no!  I just thought it was funny because your name is treehugger and you were posting something about being good for the environment.  I just thought it was cute.

  • Upvote 7
  • Haha 3
  • I Agree 6
  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Peaches-n-Beans

I'm glad so many of you have had good public transport experiences! I lived in Seoul Korea for 7 years and took public transit basically everywhere, it was cheap, fast, and safe. Hell I was in middle school when I started taking it on my own, and I didn't speak Korean. But then last year I moved out of the city and even in a small country like this with regular daily trains, and buses, it's just not convenient. I live in a small housing 'development' (if you can call it that given theres maybe 2 dozen houses) and am surrounded by rice patties. To get to the nearest little ville where I work, which is next to the military base making it mostly bars I can walk 20 minutes or drive. There is no bus that goes from my house to where I work. It's not a bad walk, I'll give it that, unless it's insanely bitter cold (but we've had a mild winter so far) I definitely don't mind, But you have to cross the highway. Now there's an over pass but unless you can walk up stairs you can't use it. There's a very very steep "ramp" which appears to be for walking bikes up but I wouldn't do it with a stroller and it's definitely not capable of being used for a wheelchair. 

If I want to go into the nearest city I have to take one of 4 buses. Theoretically they come 3-5 minutes apart. Except it usually it goes something like 1a, 1b, 1c, 1d, within 20 minutes of each other and then an hour until the next 1a bus comes around. 

Even in a country where public transportation is very good, there are places where it's just not feasible or impossible to use. Even if you're a young ablebodied neurotypical person. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Mrs Ms

A family friend in Germany  had 2 petrol stations on the same road? Autobahn? One in each direction. They had a court attendant on one side. The amount of petrol thefts went down so much that it was worth employing full time staff! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sad
feministxtian

Electric cars...they use lithium batteries...lithium is not good for the environment either...So, until they get to an efficient fuel cell technology there is no "practical" POV. And, the rechargeable cars...think about the pollution being generated by the power plants, 

I drive MAYBE 50 miles a week. I don't have a commute. Even when I did, I lived 1.5 miles from where I worked. A fucked up back precludes long walks and arthritic shoulders preclude carrying much. So...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
dawbs
7 hours ago, Eponine said:

It isn't necessarily ableist - some places, including where I live, have dedicated branches of public transport for those who aren't able to get around themselves, including those who can't drive. I think it's actually easier for disabled and elderly people to get around where I live than in an area where they would be isolated without access to a car. You can schedule rides in advance and the cars/vans are able to deal with all kinds of medical equipment. (Of course it runs late a lot...because of terrible car traffic.)

 

Curiosity, have you used those services? 

Disclosures for this discussion: I haven't been able/willing to give up my cat even 1% 2-Mr dawbs is a bus driver for public transport (currently doing normal runs but did several years of the dial-a-ride type and para-trans stuff.

Those programs are a godsend and I glad they exist. They're also absofuckingloutely awful. If you have a 10 am dr appt and the bus is scheduled to go past your house at 630 am, you get on at 6 and ride around until 10 (and hope you get there on time). Appt ends at 11? Great, pull up a seat in the waiting room, next pickup there is 2. And, look, it goes to your house at 4. 

That's an extreme day, but, the fact that it makes it impossible to live life and have a job is pretty ableist. 

And the system they use makes complete sense from the logistics on the other end-minimizing trips, maximizing people per transport  etc.

And the drivers have limits too (like, you get groceries and they don't carry them in for you -driver fell and hurt himself on someone's stoop a few years ago and they fought his workers comp tooth and nail).

I'm glad they have it, mr dawbs goes above and beyond when he does it (yeah, I'm biased), but man it sucks.

  • Upvote 20
  • I Agree 2
  • Love 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Nervous
meep

If anyone is interested, this YouTube channel is one of my favorites while we're on the topic.......

Why don't more U.S. cities have metro systems like New York? - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLtmJHHqbh8
A Brief History of U.S. City Planning - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Q5bICcek6s
Bike lanes are not good enough - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p36skNda3KE
The reason our streets switched to cul-de-sacs - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9vDcfH03gs

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Idlewild

Another instastory from Jill about their PO Box swag - books for the boys, which is nice for them but she specifically thanks for the free stuff, the ‘fan mail’, er, not so much. Sam is very cute though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SilverBeach
22 hours ago, Eponine said:

For the bus it was usually one in the stroller, one holds onto the stroller or just tags along depending on age, and I wore one in the front.

Oh, and buses here usually have no seats during rush hour, so you are standing up with kids and gear.  No one is giving up their seat. 

17 hours ago, dawbs said:

Those programs are a godsend and I glad they exist. They're also absofuckingloutely awful. If you have a 10 am dr appt and the bus is scheduled to go past your house at 630 am, you get on at 6 and ride around until 10 (and hope you get there on time). Appt ends at 11? Great, pull up a seat in the waiting room, next pickup there is 2. And, look, it goes to your house at 4. 

AMEN

  • Upvote 6
  • I Agree 3
  • Love 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ali

I live on a busy road with no side walks. It is narrow, curvy, and people drive like maniacs on it. I would love to walk places, but it is not realistic. It is too far and too dangerous. There is also no public transportation in my area. Getting anywhere without a car is feasible.

My previous home was in a good location for walking. I appreciated it because I was a stay at home mom and my husband usually took th r car to work with him.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
xlurker

I live in the mountains, the area I live in is roughly 500000 acres .yes, that is the correct amount of zeros.  Less than 250000 residents, and dropping yearly. It is beautiful, we have forever wild areas and wildlife.  I can't think of anyone I know that isn't protective of this environment. Fact is I know quite a few that make a living by the land.  I also don't know of a single person without a vehicle.  We can't walk to the store or postoffice, but we will do all our stuff while out, before or after work while we are "in town".  Public transportations in this area would likely be sporadic and inefficient, and not cost effective.  I am all in favor of mass transportation in areas where it would work..cities and their outlying areas. I can't see how it work work in rural areas like mine.  There are many areas just like mine in the US,  living here may have its challenges, but I'd never want to leave. I don't know my point actually, except that where reliable mass transit is available it should be utilized to its fullest, however there are areas where it just would not work.  Sorry for the long winded post.  Lol as

Edited by xlurker
Actually, I missed a zero, it's over 5million acres

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Giddy
AmericanRose

I don't think the car vs. public transit debate really applies to rural areas. I also think that might be why people I knew growing up just took driving for granted, instead of treating it as a privilege.

The public transit is pretty good in my city (though we did just vote to cut spending, soooo). I take the bus to work now, but I'm looking to move to an apartment so I can just walk there. Prior to my job(s) downtown though, I did drive.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
zee_four

.

Edited by zee_four
accidental post scrolling through on my phone

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Jigsaw3

I grew up in a nice older neighbourhood in a midsize Canadian city, and was able to walk or bus or bike everywhere I wanted to go (15 minutes bike downtown, one bus to the downtown mall, etc.) I reluctantly learned to drive around 18, and then promptly moved away for university and didn't drive for years. During university and when I got my first jobs, I always was able to find a place to live where I could get to work and around by public transit or my own power. I lived in Europe for a few years, and again, no car needed. I was pretty smug and holier-than-thou about my no-car lifestyle. Even grocery shopping was easy -- I'd shop every few days and stagger purchases so I was only carrying one big item at a time.

I only realized the limitations of public transit when I got a job in a rural area about 60 minutes outside the city and went CRAZY not being able to get around. The intercity bus transportation only ran once a day and going anywhere "off-campus" (including to the bus stop) required a lift from a friend. I very quickly acquired a car (it was pretty much a necessity for my mental health.)

I'm back in the city now. I still have the car, but it's mostly used on weekends to do sports or visit friends; my commute is walking or busing or biking. I'm a lot less smug, since I have a much better understanding of the necessity of car ownership. I really wish everyone had easily-accessible grocery stores and public transit that got them quickly from home to daycare to work, but that's not always possible. I will continue to advocate for that, though!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Eponine
On 1/24/2020 at 9:20 PM, dawbs said:

Curiosity, have you used those services? 

Disclosures for this discussion: I haven't been able/willing to give up my cat even 1% 2-Mr dawbs is a bus driver for public transport (currently doing normal runs but did several years of the dial-a-ride type and para-trans stuff.

Those programs are a godsend and I glad they exist. They're also absofuckingloutely awful. If you have a 10 am dr appt and the bus is scheduled to go past your house at 630 am, you get on at 6 and ride around until 10 (and hope you get there on time). Appt ends at 11? Great, pull up a seat in the waiting room, next pickup there is 2. And, look, it goes to your house at 4. 

That's an extreme day, but, the fact that it makes it impossible to live life and have a job is pretty ableist. 

And the system they use makes complete sense from the logistics on the other end-minimizing trips, maximizing people per transport  etc.

And the drivers have limits too (like, you get groceries and they don't carry them in for you -driver fell and hurt himself on someone's stoop a few years ago and they fought his workers comp tooth and nail).

I'm glad they have it, mr dawbs goes above and beyond when he does it (yeah, I'm biased), but man it sucks.

I haven't, no. I used to work in a small group with someone who relied on it as her main transportation and I saw how much it sucked for her - the scheduling is hard, traffic is unpredictable, and the routes are inefficient. However, I also know that it was the only way she could have gotten around as she is unable to drive and it would be really difficult for her to use the subway. Unless she had private cabs all the time (possible that might be offered by an organization with more money) it was the only option. My point was more that having that access, as annoying and frustrating as it is, still affords more mobility to people who can't drive than being in an area that doesn't offer it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Idlewild

More free stuff in the mailbox! It must be  paying for itself! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Pretzel
4 minutes ago, Idlewild said:

More free stuff in the mailbox! It must be  paying for itself! 

I don't consider it free stuff if Jill has to advertize the product. She most likely doesn't have a problem with that, but it's still not "free". She probably even gets a discount on other products for every leg humper who buys a product from that company with Jill's code. It's still not a free gift if it requires her to do something for it. 

Other than that, Rufus Bless PO boxes. It apparently works for the Dillards. 

I'm still highly on the fence about Jill (and co), but I've been less annoyed by her "who can relate" posts as I think that is her way of making contact with people now that we know they're at odds with the Duggar parents and probably some of her siblings. Isolation is a serious issue that can wreak havoc on a person's mental health. 

  • Upvote 11
  • Rufus Bless 1
  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Idlewild
1 hour ago, Pretzel said:

I don't consider it free stuff if Jill has to advertize the product. She most likely doesn't have a problem with that, but it's still not "free". She probably even gets a discount on other products for every leg humper who buys a product from that company with Jill's code. It's still not a free gift if it requires her to do something for it. 

Other than that, Rufus Bless PO boxes. It apparently works for the Dillards. 

I'm still highly on the fence about Jill (and co), but I've been less annoyed by her "who can relate" posts as I think that is her way of making contact with people now that we know they're at odds with the Duggar parents and probably some of her siblings. Isolation is a serious issue that can wreak havoc on a person's mental health. 

I’m not sure she does have to advertise stuff sent speculatively- she could just hang on to it & not mention it but presumably something like the prayer journal fits her profile so she’s happy to enter into a partnership. 
I agree isolation can have devastating effects- I see that all the time in domestic abuse cases. Given the nature of her upbringing it is a particularly shitty tactic by JB & M- but I never doubted their capacity to be cruel despite the cheesy grins. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SassyPants

Yesterday while walking my dog I passed by the closest bus stop to my home, and  a sign was posted that our route as been discontinued. It makes sense, as no one was riding the bus. The systems have to be efficient too. If other options are available, no one is going to take mass transit that is inefficient.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SassyPants
4 hours ago, Pretzel said:

I don't consider it free stuff if Jill has to advertize the product. She most likely doesn't have a problem with that, but it's still not "free". She probably even gets a discount on other products for every leg humper who buys a product from that company with Jill's code. It's still not a free gift if it requires her to do something for it. 

Other than that, Rufus Bless PO boxes. It apparently works for the Dillards. 

I'm still highly on the fence about Jill (and co), but I've been less annoyed by her "who can relate" posts as I think that is her way of making contact with people now that we know they're at odds with the Duggar parents and probably some of her siblings. Isolation is a serious issue that can wreak havoc on a person's mental health. 

You know what is really sad, with all the shilling and begging ( spell check doesn’t care for the gr word), these folks work almost as hard (and receive far more public grief) as those of us who support or have supported ourselves by just working a job. The reality of life on the planet, and particularly in the first world, if you want nice things and to live an active, interesting life, you have to have income. In the absence of boatloads of forever family money, even fundies have to earn money, and that involves work!

Edited by SassyPants

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Pretzel
5 hours ago, SassyPants said:

You know what is really sad, with all the shilling and begging ( spell check doesn’t care for the gr word), these folks work almost as hard (and receive far more public grief) as those of us who support or have supported ourselves by just working a job. The reality of life on the planet, and particularly in the first world, if you want nice things and to live an active, interesting life, you have to have income. In the absence of boatloads of forever family money, even fundies have to earn money, and that involves work!

I agree with everything you said. Now, how far in leghumper territory am I if I say I hope for Jill that she will go to college one day and get the education her parents deprived her of? If Michael Bates can do it, so can Jill.  Jill is undereducated and sheltered, not intellectually challenged. If she had financial and moral support and the necessary  discipline, she could go to college, become a nurse and then (given she even wanted to) go for a CNM degree. She'd actually get the necessary medical education to be a real midwife and she could earn a real salary. At least she'd be a better role model for her sons than most other fundies we discuss here. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SassyPants
4 minutes ago, Pretzel said:

I agree with everything you said. Now, how far in leghumper territory am I if I say I hope for Jill that she will go to college one day and get the education her parents deprived her of? If Michael Bates can do it, so can Jill.  Jill is undereducated and sheltered, not intellectually challenged. If she had financial and moral support and the necessary  discipline, she could go to college, become a nurse and then (given she even wanted to) go for a CNM degree. She'd actually get the necessary medical education to be a real midwife and she could earn a real salary. At least she'd be a better role model for her sons than most other fundies we discuss here. 

IDK. I recently retired from nursing after a 35 year career. I went right from a rigorous HS to a 4 year BSN program and did just fine, but it was a boatload of work. I’m not so sure a person whose life has lacked rigor and true academic or work structure could pull it off, especially one with a family. Nursing school is time consuming and involves copious amounts of reading and learning concepts that are generally really foreign to many people. I think Jill is likely a very kind person and a lovely friend, but I don’t know see her as being overly tenacious. I could see Jill working in youth worship or youth religious education. At one time 1 thought elementary school teacher, but seeing how her own boys drive her crazy, I’m not so sure. Maybe a music ministry. The Duggars really did their kids a disservice by: 1) not working themselves and always taking the easy way out, 2) not providing  more developmentally appropriate learning and work opportunities.  Those kids have NO idea how to deal with the grind of every day life.

  • Upvote 12
  • Confused 1
  • I Agree 1
  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
mpheels

She might be ok with older kids - I think most people have an age groups they get along with best. I love working with toddlers and 7-9 years olds, can hold my own with the years in between, and generally dislike anyone between the ages of 11 and 25.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Idlewild
2 hours ago, SassyPants said:

IDK. I recently retired from nursing after a 35 year career. I went right from a rigorous HS to a 4 year BSN program and did just fine, but it was a boatload of work. I’m not so sure a person whose life has lacked rigor and true academic or work structure could pull it off, especially one with a family. Nursing school is time consuming and involves copious amounts of reading and learning concepts that are generally really foreign to many people. I think Jill is likely a very kind person and a lovely friend, but I don’t know see her as being overly tenacious. I could see Jill working in youth worship or youth religious education. At one time 1 thought elementary school teacher, but seeing how her own boys drive her crazy, I’m not so sure. Maybe a music ministry. The Duggars really did their kids a disservice by: 1) not working themselves and always taking the easy way out, 2) not providing  more developmentally appropriate learning and work opportunities.  Those kids have NO idea how to deal with the grind of every day life.

I believe the TV show has made the older kids entitled- they may not have been paid a wage but they got to live comfortably without seeing any proper effort exerted. Need a house? Do as daddy says & he’ll sell/rent you one for a dollar. Need work doing? Turn it into an episode and TLC will pay. Want a wedding for hundreds of guests & a honeymoon? TLC again. Need cash? People or US Weekly photo shoot or delve into the gift cards sent by fans.

That and ‘Duggar time’ - the height of rudeness makes them unemployable.

Jill has posted about how marvellous Derick is because he gets up early to beat the traffic & make it into college or work- she seems not to realise that most people do that; her family is the exception not the norm. 

I hope they can make it in the real world but I can’t help feeling they’ll hanker after book or magazine deals before long. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.



×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.