Dillards 82: Derick Spills the Tea

[Melissa1977]

#jillbeingjill #momoftheweek #homeaccident #notthefirsttime #neverlearning #butmichellewasworse

[Pretzel]

26 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Absolutely!  I had one when my kids were little like little stairs - grippy things on the feet and landing.  You see your kid doing something unsafe you teach them how to do it properly.  

My take is that this is at her friend's house. 

I think people exaggerate. Kids do this stuff literally ALL THE TIME. Jill should know better and just tell him hey kid, that's dangerous, don't do this! and help him down instead of taking a pic. But you can't protect kids from everything. Her kids have a history of being very active, highly energetic, and both Izzy and Sammy come up with crazy ideas on how to reach stuff on the counter. Some kids just are like that and you can't keep them from doing it again. 

Jill was raised with cameras in her face most of her childhood. Her mom filmed her hurt brother instead of comforting him. Jill's got a learning curve. Also, as someone else has said, we weren't there, maybe one of the kids took those pics while an adult came running to get Sam away from the counter. I'd like to give Jill the benefit of the doubt but I'm also not holding my breath. 

[Maggie Mae]

6 hours ago, justoneoftwo said:

Gas is a necessity that everyone needs it's also going up in price like every other necessity.

Gas in the US is cheap. It's cheaper than just about everywhere else. Driving is a privilege, not a right. This kind of mindset is why we have so many drunk drivers, a lack of infrastructure for public transportation and non motorized transport, and people driving with no concept or concern for other people.

6 hours ago, justoneoftwo said:

Why would we do something if that makes the price go up even more? How many people did the gas station have to hire to have a full service? Even at minimum wage how much more would you have to charge per gallon? People don't want to pay that.

Some people are willing to pay for services like that, if they are available. This is a job that could really help someone who needs money, likes interacting with strangers, and doesn't mind being outside in all conditions. 

6 hours ago, justoneoftwo said:

The places that require full service did it to increase employment and for no other reason

There's also safety. People still smoke, because people are dumb, and some extremely dumb people smoke while getting gas. It's not what I do, I can still be killed by someone else's stupidity. 

[justoneoftwo]

27 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

Gas in the US is cheap. It's cheaper than just about everywhere else. Driving is a privilege, not a right. This kind of mindset is why we have so many drunk drivers, a lack of infrastructure for public transportation and non motorized transport, and people driving with no concept or concern for other people.

Some people are willing to pay for services like that, if they are available. This is a job that could really help someone who needs money, likes interacting with strangers, and doesn't mind being outside in all conditions. 

There's also safety. People still smoke, because people are dumb, and some extremely dumb people smoke while getting gas. It's not what I do, I can still be killed by someone else's stupidity. 

In many places gas is not a necessity in some places it is. The ability to get to work is not why people drive drunk. Would it be great if people didn't need to drive everywhere? Yep but for much of the u.s. that's not a real option. I think the idea of being able to pay more for the service is great if it is an option, I might choose to do so. The people who are barely putting $2 in their tank to get to work probably wouldn't make that choice. Of course it would be better if that wasn't a choice they had to make and if they could get to work another way but again for many people it isn't. I would be very interested to know the actual dangers of pumping gas, I just honestly didn't know that people got hurt in any appreciable amounts.

[Not that josh's mom]

1 hour ago, EmmieJ said:

if she is cool with her child using an implement to reach the counter/toaster/whatever --- why not provide him with a little step ladder?  At least it is designed for that purpose! 

She's even posting these pictures in someone else's home. But those people have little ones so a little step stool is probably in their home. Some smart people might not have that step stool in the kitchen but the stove and toaster though. Simply wrong!

And by the way, how do all these non working people have nicer homes and appliances than we do?

[Maggie Mae]

16 minutes ago, justoneoftwo said:

In many places gas is not a necessity in some places it is. The ability to get to work is not why people drive drunk. Would it be great if people didn't need to drive everywhere? Yep but for much of the u.s. that's not a real option. I think the idea of being able to pay more for the service is great if it is an option, I might choose to do so. The people who are barely putting $2 in their tank to get to work probably wouldn't make that choice. Of course it would be better if that wasn't a choice they had to make and if they could get to work another way but again for many people it isn't. I would be very interested to know the actual dangers of pumping gas, I just honestly didn't know that people got hurt in any appreciable amounts.

Every individual person does not have to drive to work. That's a myth and it's keeping us from progress. People lose their license and still drive because of this mindset. 

Driving is a privilege and needs to be thought of as such. I don't care how "hard" it is for some people - don't drive if you can't afford it. That includes insurance. I'm tired of shitty, irresponsible people thinking it's some god-given right to drive themselves to work. 

Our public infrastructure sucks and it's because everyone thinks they "have" to drive themselves to work. They don't. They want to. If they didn't want to, they wouldn't vote down every public transportation ballot measure. If we didn't have "car culture" people wouldn't put gas in their car to drive around for "fun".

 

[Not that josh's mom]

1 minute ago, Maggie Mae said:

Every individual person does not have to drive to work. That's a myth and it's keeping us from progress. People lose their license and still drive because of this mindset. 

Driving is a privilege and needs to be thought of as such. I don't care how "hard" it is for some people - don't drive if you can't afford it. That includes insurance. I'm tired of shitty, irresponsible people thinking it's some god-given right to drive themselves to work. 

Our public infrastructure sucks and it's because everyone thinks they "have" to drive themselves to work. They don't. They want to. If they didn't want to, they wouldn't vote down every public transportation ballot measure. If we didn't have "car culture" people wouldn't put gas in their car to drive around for "fun".

 

You've never lived in rural mid America.  There is no public transportation! My town does not have a doctor's office, a pharmacy, or a grocery store.  It is 7 icy blocks to the post office or bank, without sidewalks.  What are we to do besides drive?

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 minute ago, Not that josh's mom said:

You've never lived in rural mid America.  There is no public transportation! My town does not have a doctor's office, a pharmacy, or a grocery store.  It is 7 icy blocks to the post office or bank, without sidewalks.  What are we to do besides drive?

Even in the suburbs, I'd love for there to be public transportation but there just isn't.  And no jobs close enough for me to get there any other way.

I don't like that it's a necessary evil, but it is in many parts of the country.

[Maggie Mae]

1 minute ago, Not that josh's mom said:

You've never lived in rural mid America.  There is no public transportation! My town does not have a doctor's office, a pharmacy, or a grocery store.  It is 7 icy blocks to the post office or bank, without sidewalks.  What are we to do besides drive?

Walk, ride a bike, share a ride? There is zero reason that every adult needs a vehicle, or needs to think that they are entitled to drive, or that cars are anything other than a luxury and should be treated as such. I'm tired of reading articles about how everyone just "has" to drive, even if their license is suspended or revoked. 

[Destiny]

Just now, Maggie Mae said:

Walk, ride a bike, share a ride? There is zero reason that every adult needs a vehicle, or needs to think that they are entitled to drive, or that cars are anything other than a luxury and should be treated as such. I'm tired of reading articles about how everyone just "has" to drive, even if their license is suspended or revoked. 

I'm sorry, but that's just not feasible. Where i live, the nearest grocery store is 15 min by car, on highways with no real shoulders or lighting. Uber and Lyft don't serve here either. I would LOVE to never drive again, but, that's just not reality.

[Maggie Mae]

I'm also sick and tired of reading cases where someone is injured by an irresponsible driver who "has" to drive, gets into an accident, and then couldnt afford the insurance, and obviously doesn't have money for medical expenses so other people are just screwed. 

There are people who need to drive to work, but I am really tired of the mindset that driving is anything other than a privilege. If you start to think of it as a right, you aren't as careful as you should be. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

5 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

Walk, ride a bike, share a ride? There is zero reason that every adult needs a vehicle, or needs to think that they are entitled to drive, or that cars are anything other than a luxury and should be treated as such. I'm tired of reading articles about how everyone just "has" to drive, even if their license is suspended or revoked. 

The way residential areas are set up in many parts of the country there is no way for the vast majority of people to find work within walking/biking distance.  Again, I'd love to take public transportation but I'm in an area where that isn't an option (as are many people) and getting to work isn't a luxury...it's necessary.

The way to cut down on driving is to beef up public transport so people do have other options, but much of the country isn't there yet.

I'm 50 miles from work not because I enjoy a nightmare commute, but because it was the job I could find when I was out of work.  I checked out public transportation and because of how the trains are it would take me 4 hours and 50 minutes each way.  

Going without a car is just not feasible for a lot of people.

[Maggie Mae]

5 minutes ago, Destiny said:

I'm sorry, but that's just not feasible. Where i live, the nearest grocery store is 15 min by car, on highways with no real shoulders or lighting. Uber and Lyft don't serve here either. I would LOVE to never drive again, but, that's just not reality.

And I bet you realize how much you'd be inconvenienced by not having a license, and treat your driving and car as something important and needed, not just something that you are entitled to. Which is my point - most people are choosing to drive because it's more convenient and our country is set up for that. Which creates this mindset that everyone "has" to get their license and start driving ASAP because of this self fulfilling prophecy, and then when people are killed we shrug and go oh well, car culture. And then we vote down public transportation because we all have cars and why ride with the Poor's when we have cars that we can't afford 

[Maggie Mae]

13 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

The way residential areas are set up in many parts of the country there is no way for the vast majority of people to find work within walking/biking distance.  Again, I'd love to take public transportation but I'm in an area where that isn't an option (as are many people) and getting to work isn't a luxury...it's necessary.

The way to cut down on driving is to beef up public transport so people do have other options, but much of the country isn't there yet.

I'm 50 miles from work not because I enjoy a nightmare commute, but because it was the job I could find when I was out of work.  I checked out public transportation and because of how the trains are it would take me 4 hours and 50 minutes each way.  

Going without a car is just not feasible for a lot of people.

It's not, but we really need to stop thinking of it as anything but a privilege. That's all I'm saying. We are privileged to be able to afford our nice commutes and our gas and our metal individual pods with our leather seats and climate control. 

Even when we don't want to. We really need to fix this country and it's infrastructure. It's pathetic that LA is promising to make public transportation only 2.5 times the amount of time it takes to drive.

And I am really, really sick of bad drivers and their claims of "I had to drive on a suspended license because ...." No, you chose to endanger other people. Not that anyone here has done that.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

Why are we so surprised she's kind of fucking clueless?

I will admit one time I took a photo of my then toddler hanging from the side of the crib by her fingers, but 1, she wasn't crying, she, 2, she had managed a soft landing for herself of blankets and stuffed animals 3rd, that was the last day she was in her crib because we took her out of it to prevent her her from hurting herself. But it is still a pretty cute photo. #2 was a climber and a jumper, I still have the scars from running into things trying to catch her.?

[HerNameIsBuffy]

2 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

And I bet you realize how much you'd be inconvenienced by not having a license, and treat your driving and car as something important and needed, not just something that you are entitled to. Which is my point - most people are choosing to drive because it's more convenient and our country is set up for that. Which creates this mindset that everyone "has" to get their license and start driving ASAP because of this self fulfilling prophecy, and then when people are killed we shrug and go oh well, car culture. And then we vote down public transportation because we all have cars and why ride with the Poor's when we have cars that we can't afford 

I do agree it's assholish to vote against public transportation when that's the only way we can scale down the number of cars on the road.  

As someone who would never drive without a license or insurance, yes...I do my ability to drive as something I need to protect in order to keep my job.

Part of the problem is also lack of infrastructure for bikes and pedestrians.  My youngest son bikes the 6 miles to work whenever possible and the weather conditions need to be pretty severe for him to drive.  There are no bike lanes, cars drive like he's not there so he takes a longer route through side streets just to avoid traffic.  My daughter got rid of her car months ago when she moved to the city and no longer needed one as she does have public transportation and she's said it's far less stressful for her than driving.  

We have to work on our infrastructure for not just public transportation but to make places more bike friendly in terms of safety.

[Not that josh's mom]

20 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

Walk, ride a bike, share a ride? There is zero reason that every adult needs a vehicle, or needs to think that they are entitled to drive, or that cars are anything other than a luxury and should be treated as such. I'm tired of reading articles about how everyone just "has" to drive, even if their license is suspended or revoked. 

We're supposed to walk or ride a bike 10-15 miles to the doctor,  pharmacy or grocery store and walk home with groceries? No pedestrian lanes on highways here. My husband uses a cane to get around and I have COPD.  Hell, yes, we are going to drive! Try living outside a city sometime! I wouldn't live anywhere besides where I do, but it's really tiresome to be put down for needing to drive when there aren't alternatives.

[feministxtian]

Even within a city that has public transportation, it isn't terribly time efficient. To get from my house to the doctor's office (about the furthest I drive) by car is 15 minutes. Bus? Over an hour. For my son to get to school, it's a 15-20 minute drive. Bus? pushing 2 hours. 

I drive. You will pry my steering wheel out of my cold, dead hands. I've been a victim of a stupid driver and here in Sin City we have them in spades (hence the high insurance rates). Sorry, I will drive to do what I need to do. Don't like it? Too bad, so sad buttercup. 

I've had my license almost 40 years now and have had exactly ONE accident that was my fault...in 1981. Got my first speeding ticket in over 20 years a few months ago. 

Don't shit on all drivers...

[FleeJanaFree]

According to my Women' Shelter, 90% of Americans technically live in rural areas. 90%!!!!!! This is why my shelter has volunteers sign up for night shifts in particular to be on call if someone escapes their abuser in the middle of the night. Most people don't have access to a bus or cabs or Ubers or trains so we need a plan to jump in and get them somewhere safe.

More public transportation is a fabulous idea, but I do think it would be unrealistic to say people don't need to rely on personal cars in 2019. We have a long way to go.

[Snarkasarus Rex]

I trip to DC a fair amount for work.  I'd love to take the train a lot more than I do, but there are only two departures and returns a day.  And it takes nearly 5 hours.  And I still have to drive to the train station.  If I drive at the right time, it takes half that.  

That said, once I get there I Metro everywhere I need to go.  But it does take longer than driving. 

[SassyPants]

I’m about 2 miles away from the closest grocery (very expensive)  store. @ least one of those miles has no sidewalk available. The bus stop is about 1 mile away in the other direction. A bus stops at that site maybe 4 times a day. My husband works in a town about 25 miles away. If he took mass transit, it would take him 4 hours to get to work. We live in a small, beach village. Our area is known as a vacation destination. Uber/ Lyft does not service our area...because if they dropped you off, there would be little ability for a return fare. There is no rail service and traffic is a nightmare. 

[kmachete14]

Even if a bus stopped right inside my suburban neighborhood, it would take SO LONG to get to the doctor, the grocery, store, the school, the mall, etc. My town has 230,000 people in it and is huge and spread out. I also don’t want city busses or loud train cars going right outside the streets where kids currently draw chalk and ride bikes down the middle.... 

this suburb has a train station that takes you to the big city in my state & it’s used by almost every person who works downtown or goes on a weekend jaunt. but locally, there is no train. I can’t even fathom how the schedules and infrastructure would even work enough to be convenient for anyone.

I can walk for individual trips to some close by stores. But honestly doing multiple errands in a day would be a nightmare.

ive lived in NYC, and the subway is AWESOME (most of the time). But there’s no parks, fields, open spaces, large quiet affordable neighborhoods in every direction. Public transportation is super convenient but you lose out on fresh air and nature. 

[HeartsAFundie]

2 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I do agree it's assholish to vote against public transportation when that's the only way we can scale down the number of cars on the road.  

 

We wish we had more public transportation!  In my area of MA we have our own public transportation (busing) system within the city limits and immediate suburbs but have been fighting tooth and nail to get commuter rail to Boston, which is approximately 45-50 miles away but the commute there and back is pure hell-there's only one main highway into Boston from where I live and if you don't get make it through by 5:30 AM,  you are pretty much screwed and wind up sitting in traffic forever.  It's been an ongoing battle for decades.  They are finally starting to break ground and it appears I will be living approximately 2-3 miles from a T station.  The people in my area will finally be able to take immediate advantage of all Boston has to offer, including culture and job opportunities.  Since I use that same highway to commute to my job, a reduction in traffic is a welcome relief all around.  

[purple_summer]

2 hours ago, HeartsAFundie said:

We wish we had more public transportation!  In my area of MA we have our own public transportation (busing) system within the city limits and immediate suburbs but have been fighting tooth and nail to get commuter rail to Boston, which is approximately 45-50 miles away but the commute there and back is pure hell-there's only one main highway into Boston from where I live and if you don't get make it through by 5:30 AM,  you are pretty much screwed and wind up sitting in traffic forever.  It's been an ongoing battle for decades.  They are finally starting to break ground and it appears I will be living approximately 2-3 miles from a T station.  The people in my area will finally be able to take immediate advantage of all Boston has to offer, including culture and job opportunities.  Since I use that same highway to commute to my job, a reduction in traffic is a welcome relief all around.  

We had a similar project finally approved here....then months before the groundbreaking we got an asshole new governor that torpedoed it. So now I spend at least 2-3 hours per day commuting to work. 
 

I am incredibly bitter. 

[Vivi_music]

 

5 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Part of the problem is also lack of infrastructure for bikes and pedestrians.  My youngest son bikes the 6 miles to work whenever possible and the weather conditions need to be pretty severe for him to drive.  There are no bike lanes, cars drive like he's not there so he takes a longer route through side streets just to avoid traffic.  My daughter got rid of her car months ago when she moved to the city and no longer needed one as she does have public transportation and she's said it's far less stressful for her than driving. 

Just adding a two cents here on the discussion about public transportation.

In terms of urban planning, North American suburbs ARE designed for cars (pretty much the same can be said about rural towns). The emergence of the suburbs and the era of the car are the same: post WWII. Cars were the vision of the future. Which means a lot of North American towns are meant for people to use their cars. I know the suburbs I grew up it was not walker friendly. The lack of infrastructure is partly because the people who designed these towns didn't think bike lanes would be a part of our future.