Dillards 82: Derick Spills the Tea

[bal maiden]

27 minutes ago, meep said:

Oh great. I didn't know what that was and typed it into google. ??‍♀️?

You’re welcome  (no merkin emoji, so this was the next best one)

 

 

I guess the Dillards do have 2 cars then, if Derick fills Jill’s tank. Maybe she posted that to stop people speculating that she’s stranded at home?

 

[Giraffe]

6 minutes ago, bal maiden said:

Maybe she posted that to stop people speculating that she’s stranded at home?

 

I agree. Hi Jill ?

[SassyPants]

So Sam is nearing 3 YO and has been shown eating and drinking at the table, so not exclusively BF. If the Dillards are as active as they say, they must be using  some sort of contraceptive method, be it NFP or beyond. I wonder how that makes Jill feel?  Although  Jill does present as overwhelmed with the 2 that they have, I still wonder if they are preventing or delaying, how that makes Jill feel. is DD quoting scripture to justify is decisions?

[haroldtheyrefundies]

I'm a 6w5 so when I saw Jill's post about 6s I felt personally attacked. 6s are obsessed with safety so I can see how the things we have seen Jill do are things people who are obsessed with safety do. As a 6 with a messed up childhood I wonder how much of my personality is a result of messed up childhood. Now I know Jill is a 6 too a lot of things about her make sense and lately I've felt really sorry for her since I know she is the way she is because of how bad her childhood was. I'm glad she seems to want to get better and that she wants outside help, even though it might be hard for her to get therapy or any other kind of outside help because that goes against what her childhood taught her. 

[Giraffe]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

So Sam is nearing 3 YO and has been shown eating and drinking at the table, so not exclusively BF. If the Dillards are as active as they say, they must be using  some sort of contraceptive method, be it NFP or beyond. I wonder how that makes Jill feel?  Although  Jill does present as overwhelmed with the 2 that they have, I still wonder if they are preventing or delaying, how that makes Jill feel. is DD quoting scripture to justify is decisions?

She may feel extremely relieved. She was part of the original sister-moms who had way more responsibility for other people’s children than any child should. I assume she loves only having two kids to raise. 

[lil_secret]

5 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I appreciate those little gestures

Same tbh. “Acts of Service” is my love language

[SassyPants]

4 minutes ago, lil_secret said:

Same tbh. “Acts of Service” is my love language

Absolutely mine as well. Candy, flowers, nice words, nah. Empty the dishwasher or wash the dog, you bet.

[IsmeWeatherwax]

Neither of my husbands could drive, so fuel was always my department, therefore I am #bestwifeever ?

[PlentyOfJesusFishInTheSea]

14 hours ago, SassyPants said:

they must be using  some sort of contraceptive method, be it NFP or beyond.

Secondary infertility exists. It's more accurate to say "they are likely to be using..." I think your guess is probably right and if so, I do wonder. Presumably Jill is realizing her parents are flawed and perhaps even wrong.

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, PlentyOfJesusFishInTheSea said:

Secondary infertility exists. It's more accurate to say "they are likely to be using..." I think your guess is probably right and if so, I do wonder. Presumably Jill is realizing her parents are flawed and perhaps even wrong.

While this is technically true, IMO, the probability of this occurring and Jill not commenting about or soliciting prayers regarding the situation on IG or the DF blog or likely quite low. 

[Topaz]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

While this is technically true, IMO, the probability of this occurring and Jill not commenting about or soliciting prayers regarding the situation on IG or the DF blog or likely quite low. 

We’d probably see her jumping on the Plexus train or something similar a la Martha (Morton) Alexander.

[Deleorean88mph]

7 minutes ago, Topaz said:

We’d probably see her jumping on the Plexus train or something similar a la Martha (Morton) Alexander.

Another Jill for Plexus? Can you imagine JillRod's thrill at being Anna Duggar's brother's mother in law, as well as Anna Duggar's sister in law's Plexus upline??

[LaPeleona]

8w7. It also said variant sexual. Is anyone else getting variants? This is the first I'd heard of enneagrams. 

[Maggie Mae]

10 minutes ago, LaPeleona said:

8w7. It also said variant sexual. Is anyone else getting variants? This is the first I'd heard of enneagrams. 

Me! I too took the test with the varients. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

Just now, Maggie Mae said:

Me! I too took the test with the varients. 

This will give me something to do tonight.

[AussieKrissy]

As long as your Christian, straight and don’t need/want an abortion amongst many other things.... 

 

[squiddysquid]

Is Derjerk's male ego so fragile that she has to publicly post shit like that to appease him?

Hopefully he takes his frustrations out on twitter mostly, but I'd bet Jill and the boys are walking on eggshells at home.

[Glasgowghirl]

I can't imagine not having public transport, I use it almost daily either with work or university, I don't currently drive and would be lost without it. Working in Glasgow City Centre even if I did drive given the cost of parking, I'd still be cheaper getting a bus or train in. I can get two different buses into Glasgow from my hometown the bus takes about 45- 1 hour and while I have complained to the company a few times about buses not showing up or not stopping at my stop when they should have, the service for the most part is good. My University Campus is at the top of a technology park technically in my home town and because of where it's located they run a shuttle bus to it from a bus station nearby. I keep putting of doing my driving lessons because of how good the transport is and how expensive they are now. 

[Icea]

9 hours ago, squiddysquid said:

Is Derjerk's male ego so fragile that she has to publicly post shit like that to appease him?

Hopefully he takes his frustrations out on twitter mostly, but I'd bet Jill and the boys are walking on eggshells at home.

My first thought was that this was Jill's way of letting everyone know that she has access to a car during the weeks, and isn't stranded at home with the boys. Of course, she could have made a very straight-forward simple post saying "There has been speculation about the number of cars in our household, and I just want everyone to know that I do have access to a car when Derick is at school. The boys and I frequently take trips to the library/grocery store/playdates/whatever". But when have the Duggars ever been clear and concise?

That, or Jill feels she has to compliment Derick publically on every little mundane thing he does so that people won't start speculations that their marriage is in danger due to her having gone 2 days on social media without praising him. ?

[squiddysquid]

Don't know, feels more like those Jill Rodriguez offspring's 'best godly momma ever, please send sparkly jewellery!!!11!1!!!!' posts

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

OR it could be that Jill is genuinely grateful that Derrick tops off her tank so she doesn't have to stand out in the cold and do it, and this is her limited scope way of showing her appreciation? 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

10 hours ago, squiddysquid said:

 I'd bet Jill and the boys are walking on eggshells at home.

What do you think indicates this may be the case?

[Giraffe]

Some fundy marriage books* make a point of telling wives they should compliment their husbands on stupid, mundane things. It’s not enough to privately say please & thank you, it’s important to make things public sometimes, too. ?  (eta: I understand wanting to speak well of one’s SO, but the way these books tend to preach about it turns me off)
 

I’m guessing the authors weren’t thinking of SM posts when they suggest it, but I’ve noticed that’s how it sometimes plays out. Imo that kind of stuff comes across as disingenuous because it’s not done in the course of conversation with people who are maybe bad-talking their husbands and Jill jumps in to say how thankful she is for her husband helping with something.
 

BEC comment: That kind of post almost feels like side-along humblebragging, if that makes sense.  


*I’m thinking of “Love & Respect” and “The Excellent Wife” (The Excellent Wife was written pre-internet, so obviously wasn’t talking about social media.)

Edited January 21, 2020 by Giraffe

[Not that josh's mom]

4 hours ago, Glasgowghirl said:

I can't imagine not having public transport, I use it almost daily either with work or university, I don't currently drive and would be lost without it. Working in Glasgow City Centre even if I did drive given the cost of parking, I'd still be cheaper getting a bus or train in. I can get two different buses into Glasgow from my hometown the bus takes about 45- 1 hour and while I have complained to the company a few times about buses not showing up or not stopping at my stop when they should have, the service for the most part is good. My University Campus is at the top of a technology park technically in my home town and because of where it's located they run a shuttle bus to it from a bus station nearby. I keep putting of doing my driving lessons because of how good the transport is and how expensive they are now. 

I've lived in rural areas all my life and never used any public transportation - ever. It is not available,  hasn't been any where I've lived in three different states. I was shocked when I went to college and kids from the east coast coming there didn't even have driver's licenses.  By second semester, most had their licenses and even had cars.  Different perspectives from different parts of the country.

[neuroticcat]

41 minutes ago, Giraffe said:

*I’m thinking of “Love & Respect” and “The Excellent Wife” (The Excellent Wife was written pre-internet, so obviously wasn’t talking about social media.)

Agree 100%. And wives are supposed to look for these “opportunities” to praise the husband regardless of what they feel or makes sense, like respect=ego boost or something.

 

The Excellent Wife ? That book was in a mainstream church’s couples group at a generic couples small group I attended my first year of marriage. Sad to say I tried to follow its advice and others like it for years. Horrible advice and bad exegesis. Sucked for our marriage in the end.