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Coconut Flan

Dillards 82: Derick Spills the Tea

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raspberrymint

My wife is a 2w3 and I'm a 3w2, so very complimentary.  We also took the test for our pets for fun (and to maybe get insight on training them / preparing them for living with a baby) and it was even more accurate for our pets than for us, probably because dogs and cats are simpler than humans.  7w8 (dog), 8w7 (leader cat), 6w7 (follower cat), if you're curious. 

This is the version we're using:

https://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test-2

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lil_secret

Ugh I saw that struggleproject. Man. What is it even supposed to be. I mean, at least she’s being creative I guess. But wow a basket of fake greenery spilling out on the wall. Ok muff 

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Maggie Mae
9 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

There is minimal public transport in the area she lives in, outside of a limited bus routes  Much out side of Chicago and maybe some larger cities in Texas there isn't any public transportation. 

This is by design. Other than major cities, this country lacks public transportation. Even cities that are dense enough have lacking systems. Some say it's a conspiracy (a real one, they do sometimes happen) by the automotive companies and oil producers, some say it's our individualism and the urban sprawl as you head more west that keeps them from being built. Outside of major population centers, it's just not a popular thing in the US. There are even people who look down upon using bus systems in smaller cities - where did that come from?

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allthegoodnamesrgone
58 minutes ago, Exposedknees said:

Jill's instastory decorating how-to is interesting today. She's stapling greenery to a basket and hanging it on her walls- it's " boho" apparently?🤔

The basket greenary wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, not my style at all, the bigger one looked kind of nice  but the smaller one was pretty sad.  

I'm more impressed that she and the boys were hanging out at a PUBLIC LIBRARY. those liberal bastions of liberalness.  I'm going to give her props for trying this scary world seemingly on her own.  She's a got a few friends here and there, and she and Amy seem to be getting closer, but Derrick isn't around a lot because school.   It is more than the rest of the marrieds are doing. 

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mstee

Hmm. It’s ....different. 
 

Spoiler

0D183CF1-76E2-432F-8836-CD4895613155.thumb.jpeg.5007d014a425f1a43b0fc8e326fd3379.jpeg

 

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FluffySnowball
46 minutes ago, mstee said:

Hmm. It’s ....different. 
 

  Hide contents

0D183CF1-76E2-432F-8836-CD4895613155.thumb.jpeg.5007d014a425f1a43b0fc8e326fd3379.jpeg

 

It’s hideous, but I’ve also had some style mishaps involving metal bugs and fake flowers, so I’ll give Jill a pass here. 

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PennySycamore

@Ms. Brightside,  Robert Wagner wrote in his book You Must Remember This: Life and Style in Golden Age Hollywood that you could take the street car or bus all over LA.  He'd take the street car everywhere.  Cars did not achieve their prominence until the early 50s when the freeways were built.  

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Don'tlikekoolaid
4 hours ago, lil_secret said:

Ugh I saw that struggleproject. Man. What is it even supposed to be. I mean, at least she’s being creative I guess. But wow a basket of fake greenery spilling out on the wall. Ok muff 

When I was Jills age I had fake plastic flowers in my entry. 😱

One day a friend who was going to art school came over and threw them out. 😂

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Lurker

I wish she would show them taking out books or being part of a reading group or story time at the library.  She is probably afraid of books that are not approved or the kids being exposed to people outside her new church group.

I’m sure we have commented before that nothing shows how much Jill is considered outside the Duggar circle than it seems that the Dillards have only one car.  All those shady Duggar used car lots and she does’t have even a beater to run errands.

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LacyMay
6 hours ago, raspberrymint said:

My wife is a 2w3 and I'm a 3w2, so very complimentary.  We also took the test for our pets for fun (and to maybe get insight on training them / preparing them for living with a baby) and it was even more accurate for our pets than for us, probably because dogs and cats are simpler than humans.  7w8 (dog), 8w7 (leader cat), 6w7 (follower cat), if you're curious. 

This is the version we're using:

https://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test-2

How did you type your pets? Did you just sort of put what you saw as their answers in the quiz? Or read descriptions and go from there? I'm so curious and need to do this for our two furballs.

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neuroticcat

She does have a lot of kids books in the background of latest photo. I think that’s a good sign. More books than I ever saw in whole Duggar house 

Spoiler

29E40B9A-AB33-4284-8ED8-A7A36F8332FF.thumb.png.be8f2f19a93fff8d395db0fa8a2032be.png

 

 

Edited by neuroticcat

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raspberrymint
5 minutes ago, LacyMay said:

How did you type your pets? Did you just sort of put what you saw as their answers in the quiz? Or read descriptions and go from there? I'm so curious and need to do this for our two furballs.

We took the test linked above.  We talked through each of the traits and discussed what applied and to what degree, excepting a portion of the answers that we knew were extremely obvious.  Our 8w7 cat is the most difficult of the pets to train and our 6w7 cat learns faster away from her sister's influence!  😆 8w7 is much less of a pleaser than the other two, but she's the most like me and we have a strong bond because I got her through kittenhood illnesses.  😸

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Cleopatra7
2 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

@Ms. Brightside,  Robert Wagner wrote in his book You Must Remember This: Life and Style in Golden Age Hollywood that you could take the street car or bus all over LA.  He'd take the street car everywhere.  Cars did not achieve their prominence until the early 50s when the freeways were built.  

There is a long-standing aversion in American public policy discourse to providing public services that might help “those people.” Suburbs were designed to be car-centric, not just for residents, but to keep “those people” who lacked cars from reaching them. 

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Arkfundy

Jill’s decor doesn’t flow well. She has Traditional heavy furniture(bed, piano, harp, framed bridal pic), that doesn’t mesh well with this boho vibe she is attempting. 
The bridal portrait is very pretty and would look nice on a stand near the piano. 
She needs to do one room at a time...maybe incorporate her baskets/wicker/greenery decor in the kitchen area. I think It would compliment  what she has in there already. 
I will say it’s nice to see her trying. She’s said before that decorating isn’t her strong suit. Maybe her friend could help her. 
She has two sisters nearby that seem to enjoy decorating/organizing...in one sense It’s sad that they either don’t care enough to help her/or can’t because  They aren’t allowed. 
I personally wish she could find a Mother’s Day out program...I’m about 4hrs away from her, and several churches in our area do it. It is just for a couple of hrs two days a week, which would give her a chance, to go shopping, run errands, clean..actually sit down without a kid underneath. 😅 I often feel she is overwhelmed, I think a small break would be healthy for her and the kids. Unfortunately, I think she was raised that being a mom was her only calling and seeking help or a break would be seen as a sign of weakness or failure. 

 

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AliceInFundyland

Remember that exhaustive analysis that once happened of that same bookshelf? It doesn't look much fuller than I recall? Maybe not.

And if we go back down this hole. Yikes. I don't want to remember the name of those horrid ones she was shilling for on her instagram

We could though. It's been cozy in here for awhile. :group-hug:

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Ilovebrownies

That is hideous

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raspberrymint

Honestly, Jill's enneagram post went a surprisingly long way towards humanizing her for me and probably for others, and this from someone who forgot all about this bit of pop psychology (?) for over a decade.  I think things like this are fun and helpful.  I know some people take them too seriously and over simplify people, but I never did and at the same time I enjoy learning from such things.  I never watched Counting On before watching some clips of Jill tonight.  Comparing her to loved ones humanizes her for me, and yes, comparing her to my sensitive, clingy cat who isn't a human is part of that.  All the Type 6s I care about personally are people (and a little fluff) that I've had a caregiver role towards.  I may have a human child of my own with similar traits one day as well, you know?  That perspective gives me a more unbiased and nuanced outlook of Jill than my old vague memories of her on And Counting where she just reminded me of girls from my old church who bullied me for not being white enough or evangelical enough, which is the dismissive perspective I've carried with me.

This wouldn't work with Derick.  He's an ass and what he's doing could have benefits, maybe, but he's still an ass and I don't trust him.  It wouldn't matter if he had traits of loved ones that I could notice.  My best friend is an 8 and so are loudmouths that aren't good people at all.  She's a loudmouth with a strong sense of justice and equality, totally different as a person.  (I don't know what Derick's type is, just an example.) 

I hope Jill's baby steps towards freedom aren't bulldozed over by Derick's bigotry.

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feministxtian

I am an 8 too. It's quite accurate. 

https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-8

Type Eight Overview

We have named personality type Eight The Challenger because, of all the types, Eights enjoy taking on challenges themselves as well as giving others opportunities that challenge them to exceed themselves in some way. Eights are charismatic and have the physical and psychological capacities to persuade others to follow them into all kinds of endeavors—from starting a company, to rebuilding a city, to running a household, to waging war, to making peace.

Eights have enormous willpower and vitality, and they feel most alive when they are exercising these capacities in the world. They use their abundant energy to effect changes in their environment—to “leave their mark" on it—but also to keep the environment, and especially other people, from hurting them and those they care about. At an early age, Eights understand that this requires strength, will, persistence, and endurance—qualities that they develop in themselves and which they look for in others.

Thayer is a stockbroker who has worked intensively on understanding her type Eight personality. She recounts a childhood incident in which she could clearly see the development of this pattern.

“Much of my tenacity and toughness comes from my Dad. He always told me not to ‘let anybody push you around.’ It was not okay to cry. I learned to master my weaker side early on. At the tender age of eight, a huge horse ran away with me. When an adult caught the horse, I resolutely dismounted without a tear. I could tell my father was proud.”

Eights do not want to be controlled or to allow others to have power over them (their Basic Fear), whether the power is psychological, sexual, social, or financial. Much of their behavior is involved with making sure that they retain and increase whatever power they have for as long as possible. An Eight may be a general or a gardener, a small businessman or a mogul, the mother of a family or the superior of a religious community. No matter: being “in charge” and leaving their imprint on their sphere is uniquely characteristic of them.

Eights are the true “rugged individualists” of the Enneagram. More than any other type, they stand alone. They want to be independent, and resist being indebted to anyone. They often refuse to “give in” to social convention, and they can defy fear, shame, and concern about the consequences of their actions. Although they are usually aware of what people think of them, they do not let the opinions of others sway them. They go about their business with a steely determination that can be awe inspiring, even intimidating to others.

Although, to some extent, Eights fear physical harm, far more important is their fear of being disempowered or controlled in some way. Eights are extraordinarily tough and can absorb a great deal of physical punishment without complaint—a double-edged blessing since they often take their health and stamina for granted and overlook the health and well-being of others as well. Yet they are desperately afraid of being hurt emotionally and will use their physical strength to protect their feelings and keep others at a safe emotional distance. Beneath the tough façade is vulnerability, although it has been covered over by layer of emotional armor.

Thus, Eights are often extremely industrious, but at the price of losing emotional contact with many of the people in their lives. Those close to them may become increasingly dissatisfied with this state of affairs, which confounds Eights. (“I don't understand what my family is complaining about. I bust my hump to provide for them. Why are they disappointed with me?”)

When this happens, Eights feel misunderstood and may distance themselves further. In fact, beneath their imposing exterior, Eights often feel hurt and rejected, although this is something they seldom talk about because they have trouble admitting their vulnerability to themselves, let alone to anyone else. Because they fear that they will be rejected (divorced, humiliated, criticized, fired, or harmed in some way), Eights attempt to defend themselves by rejecting others first. The result is that average Eights become blocked in their ability to connect with people or to love since love gives the other power over them, reawakening their Basic Fear.

The more Eights build up their egos in order to protect themselves, the more sensitive they become to any real or imaginary slight to their self-respect, authority, or preeminence. The more they attempt to make themselves impervious to hurt or pain (whether physical or emotional), the more they “shut down” emotionally to become hardened and rock-like.

When Eights are emotionally healthy, however, they have a resourceful, “can-do” attitude as well as a steady inner drive. They take the initiative and make things happen with a great passion for life. They are honorable and authoritative—natural leaders who have a solid, commanding presence. Their groundedness gives them abundant “common sense” as well as the ability to be decisive. Eights are willing to “take the heat,” knowing that any decision cannot please everyone. But as much as possible, they want to look after the interests of the people in their charge without playing favorites. They use their talents and fortitude to construct a better world for everyone in their lives.

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bal maiden

It looks like a merkin for her wall. But if Jill likes it, that's what's important I suppose. 

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treehugger

I’m a 9w1.  Describes me to a tee. Basically a chill pushover who likes things organized 😂

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Quiver Full of Kittens

Welp, my 6w5 was pretty damn accurate. Pretty much every sentence I read had me nodding in agreement, even the self preservation sub sub type. 
 

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lil_secret
1 hour ago, treehugger said:

a chill pushover who likes things organized 😂

My 9w1 mother in law to a T. She is the most giving person, so selfless but also very eccentric in her behaviors. Neat freak and compulsive cleaner. It would be extremely easy, imo, to take advantage of her kindness. None of us kids do this though! She is really a wonderful MIL. 

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lil_secret

Ok I’m sorry guys I’m still reeling over the greenery-puking basket decor. It’s so bad. But at least the best hubby ever tops off her gas tank so Jill is #thriving 

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meep
11 hours ago, bal maiden said:

It looks like a merkin for her wall. But if Jill likes it, that's what's important I suppose. 

Oh great. I didn't know what that was and typed it into google. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

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HerNameIsBuffy
33 minutes ago, lil_secret said:

Ok I’m sorry guys I’m still reeling over the greenery-puking basket decor. It’s so bad. But at least the best hubby ever tops off her gas tank so Jill is #thriving 

Ngl never having to worry about my gas gauge is one of the few things I miss about being married.

I appreciate those little gestures, and clearly so does she, she's just hyperbolic about it as she is about everything as pertains to him.

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