Gwen Shamblin Lara 11: Cloudy with A Chance of the Holy Spirit

[formergothardite]

29 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

I just prayed it wouldn't rain and it doesn't. Hallelujah. 

Well I just prayed it wouldn't rain and we know have flood warnings. God must like you better. 

[smittykins]

I prayed it wouldn’t rain and now we have a Winter Storm Watch in effect.

Edited February 6, 2020 by smittykins

[Alisamer]

1 hour ago, formergothardite said:

Well I just prayed it wouldn't rain and we know have flood warnings. God must like you better. 

And I just got notice of a tornado warning.

Hallelujah.

[formergothardite]

48 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

And I just got notice of a tornado warning.

Hallelujah.

I just got a tornado warning on my phone. Two of them. 

Praise be. And everyone who didn't get the nice weather be safe. 

[AmazonGrace]

I wonder if God hates everyone in the path of a storm  or just a few noteworthy persons are the target and everyone else in the vicinity  suffers merely because of geographic association.

 

[Ozlsn]

Sorry everyone. I've been praying for rain to put out bushfires - obviously I wasn't quite specific enough as to exact location and quantity!

[AmazonGrace]

Today's devotional was posted Jan 22 last year

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32002-gwen-shamblin-5-she-is-a-shit-writer/?do=findComment&comment=1716137

Yesterday's text was broken into smaller excerpts last year

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32002-gwen-shamblin-5-she-is-a-shit-writer/?do=findComment&comment=1715546

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32002-gwen-shamblin-5-she-is-a-shit-writer/?do=findComment&comment=1715096

It's the Daily Jigsaw. 

 

[Blue]

7 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

Today's devotional was posted Jan 22 last year

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32002-gwen-shamblin-5-she-is-a-shit-writer/?do=findComment&comment=1716137

Yesterday's text was broken into smaller excerpts last year

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32002-gwen-shamblin-5-she-is-a-shit-writer/?do=findComment&comment=1715546

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32002-gwen-shamblin-5-she-is-a-shit-writer/?do=findComment&comment=1715096

It's the Daily Jigsaw. 

 

Ugh - and once again, she didn't even have the editorial discipline to remove the "this book" part of what she just lifted directly from something else she wrote. How lazy do you have to be to just copy and paste last year's devotional without even fixing the mistakes you made last year in it? 

[Tatar-tot]

Where is my weekly video of crazy?

[AmazonGrace]

How can  anyone  look at this and think that the focus is on God and not dieting?

[AmazonGrace]

Today we get the same as Jan 23 last year 

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32002-gwen-shamblin-5-she-is-a-shit-writer/?do=findComment&comment=1716682

Today we talk about traffic lights. There is a red light to stop eating, but you actually have to stop eating before you see this light. it takes 20 minutes to feel full because God hasn't figured out a way to give you this signal when you have eaten enough.

So it's exactly like red traffic lights, if you always stand and wait at green lights for 20 minutes, thinking they are probably  going to turn red any time soon.

Edited February 8, 2020 by AmazonGrace

[SuperNova]

7 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

Today we get the same as Jan 23 last year 

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32002-gwen-shamblin-5-she-is-a-shit-writer/?do=findComment&comment=1716682

"It is good to stop, put your fork down, and talk in the middle of the meal to give time for the food to get into the bloodstream."

You've got some serious problems if you have food in your bloodstream. This woman has a degree in nutrition and can't properly explain what causes the feeling of fullness. 

[AmazonGrace]

Politely full makes a comeback and I still don't know what it means. You have to stop eating before you fart? And how does cutting the food in half help if you're still going to eat both halves? I normally cut my food in much smaller pieces than that. Maybe she means that if you're only allowed to cut your pizza in half, it's going to be too big to swallow.

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32002-gwen-shamblin-5-she-is-a-shit-writer/?do=findComment&comment=1717244

Gwod wants you to become a Thin Eater.

Thin Eaters are fierce creatures who create a lot of waste because they despise most food they see. It's too dry, or too wet, too messy, or it's got lumps in it, the rice is too sharp, the carrots are too orange, the sauce touched the meat, you can't eat the eggplant because it will kill the chicken.

Here are some more pictures of Thin Eaters.

Spoiler

 

 

 

Edited February 9, 2020 by AmazonGrace
deleted a weird image tag

[Victorianroses]

A picture's worth a thousand words.

 

Yes.  Now,  Joe looks like a hearty guy to me.  He would love (someone like me) who has curves, and boobs and stuff. 

 

I could pick my teeth with those legs.

 

Lord.

[Maggie Mae]

4 minutes ago, Victorianroses said:

A picture's worth a thousand words.

At least the kid is wearing hearing protection? 

Gwen needs to find a hair person to fix that mess. Did she photoshop her left elbow? 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Geez Louise!!! Those shoes!! Where on earth does she buy shoes like those??

Edited to add -- let's not forget, as skinny as Gwod is, she is still larger than Elizabeth. Imagine what Elizabeth's legs look like.

Edited February 10, 2020 by Red Hair, Black Dress

[AmazonGrace]

King David was a great godly dude because he had no smartphone. But wait, no one else in his era had them either and they weren't all godly.

Either no one told Gwen that David  had a man killed so he could  fuck his widow, or she doesn't care.  

Spoiler

 

King David’s Example

February 10, 2020

by Gwen Shamblin Lara

0 Comment

How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. Praise be to you, O LORD; teach me your decrees. With my lips I recount all the laws that come from your mouth. I rejoice in following your statutes as one rejoices in great riches. I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways. I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your word. Psalm 119:9-16

King David wrote this Psalm, and it is one of my all-time favorite passages for guiding children and our own hearts. King David is an example of someone who sought God. In fact, this Psalm says he sought God with all of his heart. As a young man, King David did not have a lot of recreation and entertainment equipment. He was out by himself in a field with sheep that could not talk to him. He was in God’s Word every day and memorizing Scripture. Every day, he sought God as he was tending the sheep, taking them to green pastures, and protecting them from wolves and bears. From his experience shepherding animals, he became one of the best shepherds of men who has ever lived, next to Jesus Christ, because he shepherded the people to a love for God.

 

 

Worshipping David makes me sick because I find his sin to be one of the most callous, evil, unforgivable things that any of the alleged good guys  in the Bible does. 

To me he seems to be all about preachy lip service and not about unselfishness or any actual good deeds. 

Just because you say you seek God with all of your heart doesn't make it actually true.

[formergothardite]

15 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

Either no one told Gwen that David  had a man killed so he could  fuck his widow, or she doesn't care.  

She has said things before that makes me wonder how well she actually knows the Bible. I wouldn't be surprised if she has spent so many years focusing on certain verses that she has forgotten a good bit of the rest. 

17 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

Worshipping David makes me sick because I find his sin to be one of the most callous, evil, unforgivable things that any of the alleged good guys  in the Bible does. 

ITA. There is way to much praise of David in many Christian groups. Man after God's heart.   He casually murdered someone and only felt bad because then something bad happened to him. People use David to justify supporting horrible politicians like Trump. They say "Well David was a murderer and yet he was a man of God." Then when David heard his son had raped his sister he wouldn't punish the son. David was a real asshole who didn't show signs of repenting of his evil ways. 

[AmazonGrace]

You should love God's word but it's not actually about reading the Bible or even  knowing what it says, it's about feeling righteous. If you're David, or Gwen, you can just publish your own ramblings and call it God's word. (Gword). 

Spoiler

 

Love for God’s Word

February 11, 2020

by Gwen Shamblin Lara

0 Comment

We read yesterday how King David immersed himself in the Word of God. When I was a child, I remember reading my Bible, and all I had when I was very young was just the New Testament. We were told a few of the stories from the Old Testament, but no one actually read the whole book. Obviously, all that King David had was the Old Testament—the Law and the Prophets and some of the writings of the Prophets who came before him. He did not have the Proverbs, but he taught them to his son Solomon, who later wrote them down. So David did not have as much as you and I have.

However, it is not about memorizing Scripture simply to repeat the words or to show other people that you can memorize it. Memorization is not even required; the Bible does not say anything about Jesus memorizing it, or that they sat and quoted long memorizations of Scripture. No, Jesus followed the Spirit of God and lived it out—that is what he was known for.

What did David do? He put Scripture to song so that he could remember, and he wrote down his own experiences. He put his poetry to music or had a music director put it to music, and they sang it. Merely reading those words does not make you righteous. You could be a young person and not even know how to read and still be like Christ. So it is not about just reading or memorizing; rather, it is letting these words hit your heart so that you change, and it is about letting the Holy Spirit teach you and guide you.

 

 

From Facebook: how to eat more messily, don't look at your plate.

Spoiler

You can do this!! It’s a choice! Take your eyes off food and set your mind on God, and you WILL fall out of love with the food and into love with God.

 

[RFIntrigued]

Speaking of David, David Shamblin appears to be doing really well according to his social media. 

[AmazonGrace]

Daily Brag: to be more like Jesus you should emulate the most Christlike people you know. To clarify, this means Gwen and her kids. Gwen is godlier than other people, Michael is godlier than other people, Elizabeth is godlier than other people. 

Gwen really envies King David because he supposedly was God's favorite person and Gwen wants to take over that position. David put God above all other things in his life. (Again, we are talking about a man who had someone killed because he lusted for a married lady.)

Spoiler

 

Apple of God’s Eye

February 12, 2020

by Gwen Shamblin Lara

0 Comment

To study more about Christ and follow in his steps, we should all look for people who are genuinely Christlike, then emulate their examples. When I was young and read about King David, I was envious when I saw that God said David was the apple of His eye. I prayed, “O God, would You please make me the apple of Your eye? Teach me what to do so that I can be the apple of Your eye.” I was jealous, but it was a Godly jealousy. I wanted God’s approval, and that is what you need to emulate. You must seek God’s favor—otherwise, when you are older, you will look for the approval of man. The girls will look for the boys’ approval, and the boys will look for the girls’ approval. If you are not strong in your focus on seeking only God’s approval, a boyfriend or girlfriend may pull your focus off of God instead of you leading that friend to worship God with you.

When my children were young and making friends, they were not about to abandon the focus on God first. If you wanted to be friends with Michael or Elizabeth, you had to go where they were going. Do you really think King David would leave his religion to be friends with someone who did not want to focus on God? No, God was everything to him! God answered his prayers. King David wanted to be strong, so he prayed that he would be, and God answered that prayer and made him strong enough to kill a lion and a bear! When he was young, he took a stone and killed Goliath. He was ready to take on enemies of God who defied and insulted God and His Kingdom! King David put God above all other things in his life.

 

This is the Bible verse that is referred to I think 

Spoiler

I'm no Hebrew scholar but to me this sounds like a prayer. David or whoever wrote this psalm is asking for God's protection and based on this it is not necessarily clear what God thinks about David in comparison to other people.

But of course Gwen takes it to mean that David is better than everyone else because she has such an overriding need to be the teacher's pet.

Isn't there anyone in her cult who dares to tell her that this devotional is one of the most vain and deluded humblebrags that anyone ever wrote?

Edited February 12, 2020 by AmazonGrace

[SuperNova]

12 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

When my children were young and making friends, they were not about to abandon the focus on God first. If you wanted to be friends with Michael or Elizabeth, you had to go where they were going.

Translation: Gwen indoctrinated her children early and heavily.

Think about how insufferable this behavior would actually be to other children. Kids are cruel and have no problem ostracizing another kid who behaves this way.

I would hardly consider Gwen's adult children to be a good example of what she's preaching here. Michael seems to struggle with being a part of the group, whether that's his own doing or his mother's is hard to say, but either circumstance doesn't read as mentally healthy adult. I'm not even going to elaborate on Elizabeth. Poor thing.

[AmazonGrace]

Today we learn that old people don't like water (no problem, just drink wine instead) and that you should be like King David because he kept his way pure. (Remember that dude who had a man murdered because he had a taste for adultery?)

Spoiler

 

Absorbing God’s Word

February 13, 2020

by Gwen Shamblin Lara

0 Comment

Notice that as you get older, various recreational activities are not as thrilling as they once were. While being outside in the water is great, the Water of Life and the Streams of Living Water are better. In John 4, Jesus said to a Samaritan woman, “Come to me, and I will give you living water, and you will never be thirsty again.” “Give me that drink,” the woman cried. He said, “I am that drink.” When you look for Christlike people, know that they have access to that Living Water. Those are the people you should imitate. You could copy all kinds of people and characteristics, but there is one most important thing to copy, and that is a relationship with God. You should be someone who is desperate for God’s lead. King David was desperate for that lead from God! How can a young man keep his way pure? How can a young woman keep her way pure? The answer is by absorbing the Word, knowing the Word, and then living the Word. The Word is a living thing. We can imitate others as they imitate Christ. You look for those who have the Spirit of God in them—look for love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. That Spirit will come out of Saints like a flower blooming everywhere they go—in their speech, their kindness, and their gentleness. 

 

Edited February 13, 2020 by AmazonGrace

[Xan]

I just watched part of their Valentine's video posted last week.  Same old, same old.  Gwen is, of course, wearing red and seems to be wearing a diamond necklace and Christian Louboutin platform heels (trademark red soles).  

I amuse myself with their videos by stopping frequently and looking at the expression on Joe's face.  

Was it worth it Joe?  The big house?  The plane?  All that money?  And now you're stuck forever with Gwen.  Early Happy Valentine's Day, Tarzan.

Edited February 13, 2020 by Xan

[danvillebelle]

17 minutes ago, Xan said:

I amuse myself with their videos by stopping frequently and looking at the expression on Joe's face.  

Was it worth it Joe?  The big house?  The plane?  All that money?  And now you're stuck forever with Gwen.  Early Happy Valentine's Day, Tarzan.

He always, ALWAYS, looks like he just got hit with a particularly rank fart.

I have to wonder if Gwen's diet (or lack thereof) and gallons of diet soda makes her more than a little....windy.