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Bro Gary Hawkins 12: IT BIBLE


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15 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

Wait, so contemporary music is bad, that means new songs are bad, but if you get saved you get a new song?

Yes but it has to mention Jesus, and mean it. And it probably should be appointed to you BY Jesus, just to make sure.

It Jesus. It Not Elvis.

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1 minute ago, PumaLover said:

Yes but it has to mention Jesus, and mean it. And it probably should be appointed to you BY Jesus, just to make sure.

It Jesus. It Not Elvis.

Yes and the right kind of Jesus. Not the sop who told you to sell everything you own and give the money to the poor but the one who gets mad if the homeless get donations those punks don't deserve.

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The one who won’t feed the hungry because then they’ll get lazy and entitled and expect handouts.

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Oh, that's giving me flashbacks to my church days. Bro Gary reminds me so much of Bro David, who was my "preacher" for years. He was an Elvis fan before he got saved, too.
What a sad, miserable life. Desperately trying to avoid everything truly fun while desperately trying to convince yourself you're having the Best Fun Evah!!! with Jesus.

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12 hours ago, PumaLover said:

Thank you, this means more than you know. I have to fight every day to not slip back into the bad place I've been for the past couple years. I find ways to laugh and be positive every day, even when it's really hard.

Picking back up where I left off last night, and I was fast forwarding and accidentally landed on the part where they were singing. It is still just as jarring and off-key as it was last night. I really try to look for the positive in everything… most of them can play instruments so that's good, right? 

We better start realizing, honey it's about over with. Sodomites are on street corners, they're making a movie. It's the end times, I guess he's saying. He says honey about 5 times. We gotta get along and love one another.

Bro leaves no questions, he'll come right out and say what he's thinking. If you don't love your brother then you sure don't love Christ. We're like 30 seconds in and he's already screaming. Tell the fundamental, I don't believe in church, pastors to call him. He'll tell them. He doesn't drink the Kool-Aid (it's actually Flav-R-Aid but nice reference, Bro!). Love one another, love the church.

Talking about when you first got saved and you wanted to go to church (I remember this in my believer days). Why isn't Christ as good today as he was 10 years ago. Has he changed? He's not going to. The church is important. He's screaming again.

**my dog was lying under my desk and somehow unplugged my heater and now I'm cold. I have mentioned before about the floor hole under my desk, where cold air actually comes up into my little home office. If I disappear completely one day, just know that I've fallen through my floor into our septic tank. Please send funds to Puma's_HoleintheFloor_GotoMeFund if you're so led.

Bro is talking about having a song in your heart or something. I'm distracted worrying about falling through the floor now.

He had a cousin who moved to Pennsylvania and called him and said she got saved and needed him to find her a church. He found her a church. The preacher texted her and the cousin doesn't want to go to church because the pastor made her mad. Becky laughs. The cousin was sick and didn't want to go to church, and Bro said she'll be sick for the rest of her life.

Bro admits that he doesn't always want to get up Sunday morning or be in church every time the doors are open (interesting, because I believe he has said exactly that in the past). 

Back to the song in the heart. He's signed up for all these things on Facebook and he loves making people mad honey, he loves arguing with people (is that Christ like behavior??). Becky laughs. People make him mad too. He says, what's wrong with me going to church and singing Amazing Grace and going out and singing country music? There's a lot wrong with that. If you were in church you may have halfway felt the spirit but it wasn't enough and God knows what radio station you're listening to (or something to that effect.) Becky agrees. He's making people mad, he says. He's trying to feed the spirit, not the flesh.

You can't be halfway. In the average baptist church, unless Bro Hawkins is preaching, you're lucky if you get 5 hours a week. But you spend a lot of time with that radio. He's talking about contemporary music. He was listening to a song about Jesus that said Jesus about a hundred thousand times. But there was one problem–he's not sure they really meant that Jesus. He wants to sing about Jesus. His Bible tells him when he gets saved he has a new song in his heart.

He has to confess that he was an Elvis fan. When he got saved he got rid of Elvis, although he can still sing all those songs. 

Something about contemporary music and Satan. When you go to a store and you hear that junk but you find yourself singing along, he's caught himself doing that. He's talking about having fun at church and how you don't have to have that junk (music) to have fun at church. 1 Corinthians. He needs Becky to tell him one of the words (demonstration, at least I think that's what it was). I wonder if he truly is illiterate, but is good at memorizing and is charismatic so he's successful at preaching?

He doesn't like the dranking of the drunk but he loves the drunk (how does he know I have a drank in my hand as I recap?). Now he's railing against homeless people. There's no homeless people, they can go to a shelter. They making more money than he is on the side of the road, talking about how they beg for money only to go back to their nice car and nice house. (Not the homeless people I know in our major city). I hear a few haymayuns. He says sometimes he looks homeless and has let his beard get crazy. Becky laughs.

I can't rewind the FB video in small increments so this video recap is all over the place and I apologize. Not that it would make much sense if I wrote it as he spoke, I suppose. I have a hard time understanding a lot of what he says.

Some guy told him the other day that he should come off the road and be a pastor, and Bro says, no church will have me (Becky giggles). So I guess that's part of the gimmick–he's outspoken, controversial, enjoys arguing with people, and knows that no one will put up with him for the long term. That's very interesting and the first I've heard him mention this.

If he knew who Dickens was I wonder if Bro Gary would make the connection in his little mind between Scrooge's diatribe about sending the poor to the poorhouse/decreasing the surplus population and his belief  that the homeless must go to (in many communities non-existent) shelters.   What a doofus.   Too bad guys like this put down education of any kind.  They might actually learn something and make connections to their own behavior and ideas.  Feeling sorry for his sons this Christmas and always.

12 hours ago, PumaLover said:

Thank you, this means more than you know. I have to fight every day to not slip back into the bad place I've been for the past couple years. I find ways to laugh and be positive every day, even when it's really hard.

Picking back up where I left off last night, and I was fast forwarding and accidentally landed on the part where they were singing. It is still just as jarring and off-key as it was last night. I really try to look for the positive in everything… most of them can play instruments so that's good, right? 

We better start realizing, honey it's about over with. Sodomites are on street corners, they're making a movie. It's the end times, I guess he's saying. He says honey about 5 times. We gotta get along and love one another.

Bro leaves no questions, he'll come right out and say what he's thinking. If you don't love your brother then you sure don't love Christ. We're like 30 seconds in and he's already screaming. Tell the fundamental, I don't believe in church, pastors to call him. He'll tell them. He doesn't drink the Kool-Aid (it's actually Flav-R-Aid but nice reference, Bro!). Love one another, love the church.

Talking about when you first got saved and you wanted to go to church (I remember this in my believer days). Why isn't Christ as good today as he was 10 years ago. Has he changed? He's not going to. The church is important. He's screaming again.

**my dog was lying under my desk and somehow unplugged my heater and now I'm cold. I have mentioned before about the floor hole under my desk, where cold air actually comes up into my little home office. If I disappear completely one day, just know that I've fallen through my floor into our septic tank. Please send funds to Puma's_HoleintheFloor_GotoMeFund if you're so led.

Bro is talking about having a song in your heart or something. I'm distracted worrying about falling through the floor now.

He had a cousin who moved to Pennsylvania and called him and said she got saved and needed him to find her a church. He found her a church. The preacher texted her and the cousin doesn't want to go to church because the pastor made her mad. Becky laughs. The cousin was sick and didn't want to go to church, and Bro said she'll be sick for the rest of her life.

Bro admits that he doesn't always want to get up Sunday morning or be in church every time the doors are open (interesting, because I believe he has said exactly that in the past). 

Back to the song in the heart. He's signed up for all these things on Facebook and he loves making people mad honey, he loves arguing with people (is that Christ like behavior??). Becky laughs. People make him mad too. He says, what's wrong with me going to church and singing Amazing Grace and going out and singing country music? There's a lot wrong with that. If you were in church you may have halfway felt the spirit but it wasn't enough and God knows what radio station you're listening to (or something to that effect.) Becky agrees. He's making people mad, he says. He's trying to feed the spirit, not the flesh.

You can't be halfway. In the average baptist church, unless Bro Hawkins is preaching, you're lucky if you get 5 hours a week. But you spend a lot of time with that radio. He's talking about contemporary music. He was listening to a song about Jesus that said Jesus about a hundred thousand times. But there was one problem–he's not sure they really meant that Jesus. He wants to sing about Jesus. His Bible tells him when he gets saved he has a new song in his heart.

He has to confess that he was an Elvis fan. When he got saved he got rid of Elvis, although he can still sing all those songs. 

Something about contemporary music and Satan. When you go to a store and you hear that junk but you find yourself singing along, he's caught himself doing that. He's talking about having fun at church and how you don't have to have that junk (music) to have fun at church. 1 Corinthians. He needs Becky to tell him one of the words (demonstration, at least I think that's what it was). I wonder if he truly is illiterate, but is good at memorizing and is charismatic so he's successful at preaching?

He doesn't like the dranking of the drunk but he loves the drunk (how does he know I have a drank in my hand as I recap?). Now he's railing against homeless people. There's no homeless people, they can go to a shelter. They making more money than he is on the side of the road, talking about how they beg for money only to go back to their nice car and nice house. (Not the homeless people I know in our major city). I hear a few haymayuns. He says sometimes he looks homeless and has let his beard get crazy. Becky laughs.

I can't rewind the FB video in small increments so this video recap is all over the place and I apologize. Not that it would make much sense if I wrote it as he spoke, I suppose. I have a hard time understanding a lot of what he says.

Some guy told him the other day that he should come off the road and be a pastor, and Bro says, no church will have me (Becky giggles). So I guess that's part of the gimmick–he's outspoken, controversial, enjoys arguing with people, and knows that no one will put up with him for the long term. That's very interesting and the first I've heard him mention this.

I hope 2020 is better to you.  

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I had a dream about Gary last night. We were wondering what happened to him because he had been missing in action and then we went to check on him and found him and Rebecca taking down a revival tent. Except it wasn't a tent, it was a bouncy castle. 

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8 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

we went to check on him and found him and Rebecca taking down a revival tent. Except it wasn't a tent, it was a bouncy castle. 

Now that is a meaningful dream. Even your unconscious has a dry sense of humor - it knows Bro Gary's preaching is a childish joke.

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On December 24, 2019 at 1:51 PM, FeministShrew said:

What a sad, miserable life. Desperately trying to avoid everything truly fun while desperately trying to convince yourself you're having the Best Fun Evah!!! with Jesus.

I just don't get why they seem to think God wants everybody to be miserable all the time, and then they try to lie and say they're having the best time of their lives. If God made everything and knows everything, why did he make fun stuff if he didn't want us to enjoy it? To "test" us? I personally don't think God's mean or an asshole, so I'm going to keep enjoying the stuff I enjoy. Just like the pastor at my church does (he's a movie buff and an avid reader - unlike Bro Gary here).

I'd feel a little sorry for Gary if he was just an average guy trying to work for a living and dealing with the difficulties of being functionally illiterate. But instead he's basically a deliberately homeless unemployed grifter claiming to be speaking for God and telling other people how they should live, so shame on him. 

I feel like "Preaching in the Bouncy Castle" might make a good location or post count title or something. 

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I'm waiting for the first profound insight of the new year from Bro Ween.  "It 2020"?

I was going to say, It New Year.

67e31beae49a3f83a2851c27198c34d0.jpgHappy 2020 from beautiful northern Arizona*.

*it my happy place
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23 hours ago, PumaLover said:


I was going to say, It New Year.

67e31beae49a3f83a2851c27198c34d0.jpgHappy 2020 from beautiful northern Arizona*.

*it my happy place

It cold.

Happy new year from a long way south... it hot.

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OK folks, I've been on vacation but Bro hasn't posted anything. But this did come up as a suggested ad on his thread, and I think he (and J-Rod, Lori, Steve, etc. would agree with). No idea what it's about because I didn't click on it as I'm on a questionable laptop.

I've hiked 12+ miles over the past 3 days and am ready for bed. If anyone wants to click on and explain "This Dark Agenda" I will be all ears.

war.png

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image.png.c388eb20eb54309bf0f91cf7e8b30bcb.png

:confused2:     :wtf:

Has one say ask JESUS to Save him.
LORD willing will be under the tent tonight.
In the jungle, the mighty jungle,
The lion sleeps tonight.
Under the boardwalk, we were havin' fun . . .

:confusion-shrug:

Edited by thoughtful
riffle
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Sunny day, walking about thinking of everything and nothing, and then this:

 

It remind me say of Bro Gary.

Weenery.jpg

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On ‎1‎/‎5‎/‎2020 at 1:58 AM, PumaLover said:

OK folks, I've been on vacation but Bro hasn't posted anything. But this did come up as a suggested ad on his thread, and I think he (and J-Rod, Lori, Steve, etc. would agree with). No idea what it's about because I didn't click on it as I'm on a questionable laptop.

I've hiked 12+ miles over the past 3 days and am ready for bed. If anyone wants to click on and explain "This Dark Agenda" I will be all ears.

war.png

I see that in the upper right corner is the company behind the ad.  it's a cable news station that advertises on a radio station that I listen to, and based on their radio ads, they seem to be an obscure, low-rent version of Fox on steroids.  this stupid ad fits right in with what little I know about them.  bleagh. 

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3 hours ago, CTRLZero said:

Sunny day, walking about thinking of everything and nothing, and then this:

 

It remind me say of Bro Gary.

Weenery.jpg

I can honestly say that the sentence "full service weenery" has never crossed my mind before.

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On 1/7/2020 at 8:54 AM, CTRLZero said:

 

Weenery.jpg

I'm so confused. Is this a hot dog stand or a whorehouse?

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You know how, when you are on FJ and you click on "unread content" and it shows you a list of threads, each with just one line of text visible from the most recent post, and sometimes with no other context because you haven't read that thread in a while, you just have to click on it because you cannot imagine what the conversation could possibly be about?

11 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

I'm so confused. Is this a hot dog stand or a whorehouse?


Yeah. :my_tongue:

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Spoiler

image.png.bbc80e6b7c88a20f4c270d2655158d4e.png

GOD is up to something!

Spoiler

image.png.ec71244cda893adec438a2d3d194dc83.png

He (or Becky) was doing so well, until "So many think GOD ok with there wat of life. The KJB say it and it settles where you believe it or like it."

Of course, we all know Gary really means "Get in the tent - y'all can't put money in my KFC bucket through the computer machine!"

 

Spoiler

image.png.8fa8a57e89055e7dae7f0ae9168637db.png

The red hymns, not to be confused with the red weens (in ME).

Edited by thoughtful
fixing spoilers
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Is he actually referring to the old red hymnals published by the Church of God?  He certainly can't be referring to the newer Baptist hymnals that have contemporary music in them.  Just thinking about that hymnal gives me terrible earworms for songs like "Lily of the Valley" and "I'll Fly Away."

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Gary:

"Booze is not gonna save you, booze in hell fryin' like sausage."

"They say over in Mexico, there's a place, and they have a statue of Mary, and I'm gonna say somethin' to ya - Jesus used Mary to - uh - God used Mary to have Jesus. Amen!  And I'm gonna let you know, Mary had to do the same thing that you had to do to be born again. She was not perfect, and after she had Jesus, she was no longer a virgin" ("virgin" sounded like "version" - good thing I wasn't there to yell out "version of what?").

He then goes on to describe how people climb a "cement thing" on their knees  to get to this statue and "worship Mary," and their knees and pants "is all cut up" and their hands "is all messed up." And then he makes his point:

"He's your pasture, he's not the priest."

:confusion-shrug:

My dog asked to go out, and, when I came back in the room, Gary was bellowing "Whatever Trump has done to make them people in Eye-raq mad, thank God for it -- Hallelujah!"

I've reached my limit. Anyone else want to recap some?
 

 

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Any good HAYMAYUNs?? 
 

And just how many “old fashioned tent revivals” can one go to??

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I hope they spent extra & bought the heavy-duty chairs.  
I've seen people break metal folding chairs. It ain't pretty & sometimes people get hurt.

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9 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Gary:

"Booze is not gonna save you, booze in hell fryin' like sausage."

"They say over in Mexico, there's a place, and they have a statue of Mary, and I'm gonna say somethin' to ya - Jesus used Mary to - uh - God used Mary to have Jesus. Amen!  And I'm gonna let you know, Mary had to do the same thing that you had to do to be born again. She was not perfect, and after she had Jesus, she was no longer a virgin" ("virgin" sounded like "version" - good thing I wasn't there to yell out "version of what?").

He then goes on to describe how people climb a "cement thing" on their knees  to get to this statue and "worship Mary," and their knees and pants "is all cut up" and their hands "is all messed up." And then he makes his point:

"He's your pasture, he's not the priest."

:confusion-shrug:

My dog asked to go out, and, when I came back in the room, Gary was bellowing "Whatever Trump has done to make them people in Eye-raq mad, thank God for it -- Hallelujah!"

I've reached my limit. Anyone else want to recap some?
 

 

He's worse than I thought he'd be.  He's hateful and mean-spirited.  And, good grief -- so needy!  He says something and then does that "Amen  Haymayun??" and then waits to see if people answer.  He's okay with going over on an airplane and killing everybody in Iran because "the Bible says there's a time to kill".  

Is it even worth it to put up the tent for just a handful of people?  And in the winter?  Are they insane?  Of course they are...

He complains towards the end that his wife only cooked him one meal today.  And a bit later he says, "Am I making any sense"?  No, Gary.  Sis Xan is here to tell you that you ain't makin' a bit of sense.  Haymayun.

Edited by Xan
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