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samurai_sarah

Bro Gary Hawkins 12: IT BIBLE

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Xan

Bro. Gary is a bit simple and he's misguided and lazy but he's not mean.  Anderson, on the other hand, is mean and rotten to the core.  I'm on Team Hawkins on this one.  

Wait.... I'm defending Bro. Gary.... I might need wine - lots of wine...Hay-mayun!

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thoughtful
14 minutes ago, AliceInFundyland said:

I'm not sure. I believe Bro outsizes him. He just needs to grab him, lasso him, jam one down the fuckers throat.

What a lovely thought - Steven Anderson, anti-gay bigot, defeated by having a ween shoved down his throat.

 

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Don'tlikekoolaid
40 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

Anderson proudly demonstrated how he uses a belt on his kids - poor Bro Gary wouldn't have a chance with only weens.

Bro Gary’s fighting red ween army!

Spoiler

456312EE-F45A-4601-A542-2701F58ED4D6.jpeg.14ff0caa3e28a5c0562a37808029575e.jpeg

 

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wallysmommy

Bro can tag team with the wrestler-turned-radio-preacher from WKRP in Cincinnati. Or he can call Ted DiBiasi out of retirement\preaching to be his tag team partner. 

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AliceInFundyland
1 hour ago, Xan said:

Bro. Gary is a bit simple and he's misguided and lazy but he's not mean.  Anderson, on the other hand, is mean and rotten to the core.  I'm on Team Hawkins on this one.  

Wait.... I'm defending Bro. Gary.... I might need wine - lots of wine...Hay-mayun!

I know right? Once you get started it's a weird train. I'm glad we don't know the precise specifics of his offense.

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Lillymuffin
15 hours ago, Xan said:

Bro. Gary is a bit simple and he's misguided and lazy but he's not mean.  Anderson, on the other hand, is mean and rotten to the core.  I'm on Team Hawkins on this one.  

Wait.... I'm defending Bro. Gary.... I might need wine - lots of wine...Hay-mayun!

It is a low bar, but my grandma was right. If you look hard enough, you can find common ground with just about anyone. 

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AmazonGrace

Is there a Cliff notes version to what Steve Anderson did to piss other fundies off?

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Alisamer

I don't know anyone who hasn't complained about their job at some point. Even actors and musicians have days they'd rather not work.

I'd go with Bro Gary as well. He's awful, but not crazed like ofZsu. 

I also wonder which of Anderson's many, many horrible crazed things he's said and done crossed the line for Gary!

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Waffle Time
Palimpsest
41 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

Is there a Cliff notes version to what Steve Anderson did to piss other fundies off?

He said they are too liberal.  Therefore he formed the "New IFB" because regular IFB are sissies and reprobates.  As for those Reformed and Calvinist sinners, they are damned to an eternity in the burning fires of Hell.

Gary's problem seems to be that he thinks Anderson has strayed from KJV Only.   Not so, the PP is definitely KJVO  Perhaps Gary has caught Steve using the 1760 edition of the KJV instead of the 1611.  Bro. Gary, I need specifics!

And dueling weens at dawn!

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AliceInFundyland

Related question:

If zombies are real, and God isn't, than which fundies would you most like to encounter in a survival scenario.

Off the top of my head I feel like the still charmingly fundy Staddons and Frasers have good skill sets.

Raquel would be on the bottom of my list. Lori, Gwod and Jill would be slightly higher because they are older and thus more likely to die. She is useless.... defined.... on an outdated LiveJournal entry.

Pastor Steve Anderson still falls to the bottom. No use for him. Zsu would be like the batshit woman currently played (no spoilers for me if she's no longer there, I'm not up to speed on anything recent) by Samantha Morton on Walking Dead.

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keepercjr
14 hours ago, AliceInFundyland said:

Related question:

If zombies are real, and God isn't, than which fundies would you most like to encounter in a survival scenario.

Off the top of my head I feel like the still charmingly fundy Staddons and Frasers have good skill sets.

Raquel would be on the bottom of my list. Lori, Gwod and Jill would be slightly higher because they are older and thus more likely to die. She is useless.... defined.... on an outdated LiveJournal entry.

Pastor Steve Anderson still falls to the bottom. No use for him. Zsu would be like the batshit woman currently played (no spoilers for me if she's no longer there, I'm not up to speed on anything recent) by Samantha Morton on Walking Dead.

Well definitely not Gary or the Rods as they would be trying to grift everyone else's supplies!  Although you could probably outrun them if necessary. 

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AmazonGrace
15 hours ago, AliceInFundyland said:

Related question:

If zombies are real, and God isn't, than which fundies would you most like to encounter in a survival scenario.

 

With men it impossible. 

Spoiler

Ok folks remember you can't do anything without the LORD. With men it impossible with GOD it's possible. 
Bro Gary Hawkins

 

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Walking Cat Bed
17 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

With men it impossible. 

  Reveal hidden contents

Ok folks remember you can't do anything without the LORD. With men it impossible with GOD it's possible. 
Bro Gary Hawkins

 

I mean he's not *wrong*...

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Alisamer
16 hours ago, AliceInFundyland said:

Related question:

If zombies are real, and God isn't, than which fundies would you most like to encounter in a survival scenario.

I think the Arndts. Plenty of muscle there. Also, oddly, the Duggars. Not the parents, of course, but some of the boys have been to fake military training and they mostly seem at least willing to attempt some physical work. Jana can grow the food. I'd let the Maxwell daughters join the group - make them a schedule to help with work and cooking and they'll do just fine, and they might enjoy having the Arndt boys around.

Definitely not the Rods or Andersons. Or the Nauglers, despite their experience in living with nothing. They're too confrontational, IMO.

Lori Alexander wouldn't be a problem, the zombies would probably recognize her as one of their own, and she's got no brain for them to eat anyway.

Bro Gary might not be a problem for the same reason. 

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wallysmommy

Lori might try to feed the zombies a slime salad, and they would turn and run, so she might be useful as zombie chum.

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AliceInFundyland

Depending on how well they responded to the complete dismantling of their beliefs, I think many of our families have some skills that could be useful. And possibly personalities that might come out of "cult" and adapt to a new way of being.

As Alisamer said, various Duggars and Bates might fall into this category. Maxwells too. Although the deterioration of scheduling could be rougher than the absence of God.

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griffin

I watched most of tonight's blathering. Becky is in the hospital. I couldn't quite grasp what he was saying, but I think she "pulled something". He also said she had high cholesterol.

I'm wrong, she's out of the hospital and they are headed to Kansas City tomorrow. A 14 hour drive.

Edited by griffin
i went back and watched it again

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Conundrum

I've watched a few of Gary 's scream-preaching videos and a couple things I noticed he says quite often that annoy me. First is when he makes a statement he often follows with "you ask why?" Example: My wife says she was saved as a little girl but I'm not sure. You ask why? Because I wasn't there." I always want to say "I didn't say 'why' Bro! I really didn't because I don't care!" 

Which brings me to my second annoyance: He has said multiple times he doesn't know if Becky is saved because he wasn't there. That would bother me if I were Becky. I understand if he says that about friends but to say he doesn't believe his own wife about being saved? That would piss me off if my husband didn't believe me 100% about something that was that important in our life. (Just for the record, I'm not saved. I was raised an evil Catholic.)

Edited because apparently punctuation and capitalization isn't easy for me after taking my bedtime anxiety meds. 

Edited by Conundrum

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AmazonGrace

Even if he was there he doesn't know anyone's heart let alone God's mind so he can't know if anyone was saved. He just likes to think he is. 

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Waffle Time
mango_fandango

So, in order to be properly saved, it has to be witnessed personally by Bro Gary? Bullshit.

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Four is Enough

Zombies and Bro Gary. What a fabulous thread drift.

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