Bro Gary Hawkins 12: IT BIBLE

[samurai_sarah]

Per request by @PumaLover, carry on from here:

 

 

Edited November 28, 2019 by samurai_sarah

[mango_fandango]

IT BIBLE!!! Oh man this thread title is going to make me grin every time I see it!!

[3splenty]

My husband is not very good with grammar, etc.  He heard me giggling at the IT BIBLE and I had to explain bro Gary to him.  After he read some of Bro's Facebook posts, he said, "IT SOMETHING." He shook his head and walked away.

[Ozlsn]

From the previous thread:

"The other day I heard a preacher say he thought it was OK to watch Disney movies. I don’t care what you THINK what does GODS WORD SAY"

I can't be the only person dying to know what the Bible specifically says about Disney movies. 

[Dandruff]

OK folks,

It Thanksgiving.  Dandruff grateful to be nowhere near Bro Ween and his turkey fryer.

[PumaLover]

@samurai_sarah, may Rufus bless you from a cold, stormy, snowy California. It Thanksgiving and I wish all my FJ friends a happy day full of food, drink, family and friends.*

*IT SNOW–went to lock all the chickens in the coop but many were outside in the snow. Turns out a baby opossum was in the coop, scaring them all off. Baby opossum is in a cat carrier in the laundry room for the night, soaking wet chickens are in the kitchen, and everyone will be back outside in the morning. Just another day at the Puma house!

**It possum.

[Granwych]

 

Grampwych and Granwych gonna celebrate Turkey day with doxycycline and beans & weens.  It awful bein under the weather but Wych beans & weens, It Good!

bless y’all!!

good thing you set the possum and chicks right, Puma!  Bless you for being merciful to that baby bugger.

Edited November 28, 2019 by Granwych
Addendum

[FunDeeLite]

Happy Thanksgiving!  Thank you all for the laughter and snark! It good!1!1!!!111. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[AmazonGrace]

Enjoy your those, y'all all! 

Spoiler

Ok folks want to wish our Family and Friends a Happy Thanksgiving. Enjoy your those around you. May GOD give y'all all a great day. Don't forget to be Thankful.
Bro Gary Hawkins

 

[thoughtful]

Happy Thanksgiving! Be greatful for all you have!

I like to think that she decided to stop drinking because she heard Bro Gary preach and thought "I haven't had a drink today, and this guy still makes no sense - I'd better stop before the brain damage gets any worse!"

[3splenty]

Do we know, did anyone take Gary up on his turkey frying offer?

[scoutsadie]

19 hours ago, PumaLover said:

@samurai_sarah, may Rufus bless you from a cold, stormy, snowy California. It Thanksgiving and I wish all my FJ friends a happy day full of food, drink, family and friends.*

*IT SNOW–went to lock all the chickens in the coop but many were outside in the snow. Turns out a baby opossum was in the coop, scaring them all off. Baby opossum is in a cat carrier in the laundry room for the night, soaking wet chickens are in the kitchen, and everyone will be back outside in the morning. Just another day at the Puma house!

**It possum.

You're the best, @PumaLover.

(And I just read your "location": ha ha ha ha ha)

Good wishes to everyone as this American day of Thanksgiving winds down in my time zone. I really am thankful for this community. The past two years have been particularly rough: losing my mom, leaving my two-decade job after management changes made it a hostile workplace, and being out of work for over a year. FJ has been a distraction and great for many laughs (see thread title), but also a useful source of perspective about life and choices. Thank you all!

[thoughtful]

11 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Be greatful for all you have!

Quoting myself because I realize I should have said "Be grately greatful for all you have!"

[PumaLover]

OK folks, who's up for some cheap shoppin'? Why can't y'all make it to Church from r 3 services? Shop from r hours!?

I literally have no idea what the r is supposed to be. Mr. Puma found a cheap tv on Monday and brought it home. It large. Our old tv was almost as old as our child.

Good news, baby opossum was set free in the creek today and seemed pleased about it. He did not make his way back into the chicken coop.

And @scoutsadie, I am so sorry for your loss. I also have not been with the same company for 20 years but I do know how frustrating and depressing it is to be out of work, and I sympathize with you over that. I quit my job last year, not knowing what I was going to do, and ended up working for two previous coworkers who also became friends. I hope something will turn up for you.

Hope y'all had a great Thanksgiving (those who celebrate). I too am thankful for the FJ community. 

[AmazonGrace]

does he use speech to text feature to write his messages?

I think maybe,  all three services, shop from all hours?

 

[PumaLover]

1 hour ago, AmazonGrace said:

does he use speech to text feature to write his messages?

This has long been my hypothesis, although I don't know why he can't proofread before he hits post!

I only say this because Mr. Puma doesn't text and only uses voice to text. It's extremely frustrating. It spells our daughter's name wrong, and years ago he told me "Have fun collecting seals out in the desert" ("seals" was supposed to be rocks!). The other day I asked if he could pick up our daughter at the library and he wrote that he can… only for me to realize he meant to say "can't." Part of the reason is that he texts/talks as he's driving and that makes it worse. Don't even get me started on that. My phone is put away in my purse/backpack while I'm driving, and I hate that he has it out. 

I would say maybe that's Bro's problem, but he really doesn't have that many places he needs to be.

[Granwych]

8 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

does he use speech to text feature to write his messages?

I think maybe,  all three services, shop from all hours?

 

Maybe there'll be ween appetizers bet"ween" services---

Edited November 29, 2019 by Granwych
Stupid autocorrect

[thoughtful]

Where is your desires, Gary? Let's see . . . money from people coming to his revivals, wishing there was ween and biscuit stuffing in his Thanksgiving turkey (who knows, maybe there is!), more money that he didn't work for, a theocracy in the US, more money and weens . . .

Also, I had to look up Jethere Fuqua, because that is such a wonderful name. I'm afraid not much else about him is wonderful, except for our finding the same kind of humor content in his grifting and dreams of greatness as Bro Gary. He also has a ministry and is a singer.

It seems there are things he won't specify driving him out of his home:

Spoiler

Probably some anti-Christian plot -- couldn't be that he can't pay rent.

Spoiler

 

Spoiler

His Facebook is also full of the usual pro-Trump, I'm-so-brave-for-being-a-Christian stuff.

He did go to college, in his 50s, so that's something to be admired. He seems very proud of it - from his LinkedIn profile:

Spoiler

Jeff (he goes by Jeff, and I feel like I know him now!) -- you forgot to list the fact that you clapped the erasers! Why he went to college for business administration and educational leadership, then hardly used his degrees before sailing off to sing and preach, is unclear.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jethere-jeff-fuqua-676a3349

His music is . . . not as bad as Bro Gary's (there, I've said something nice):

Spoiler

 

 

Have fun!

Edited November 29, 2019 by thoughtful
riffle

[Xan]

Jeff Fuqua is some next-level kind of awful, Thoughtful.  

From "Grandma's Advice":   "Love your neighbor for someday you'll be a man."  What does that even mean?   (Actually it comes out sounding like "love yer neighbor fahr someday you'll be a man.")

He doesn't sing well, the lines of the songs don't even attempt to rhyme or scan for the right number of syllables, sometimes the lyrics make no sense, and the songs are long.  And, yet, he records this stuff and even manages to get back-up singers.  SMDH

[wallysmommy]

@scoutsadie I left my job of 22 years in February when I just couldn't take it any more.  I was at the director level, we had a new CEO, and he is just a plain old well-educated fool.  In the past year half of the directors quit.  That says something about the toxic environment.  I am old enough to draw out of my IRA with no penalty, and I'm doing online teaching.  My health is so much better after leaving. 

On to JF, Gary's friend.  I know we can't pick our names, but we can change them, which it looks like he did with his first name.  But when I see Fuqua, I always mentally pronounce it as FUCK-WA.  I guess that means I need to spend more time in the prayer closet.

Can you imagine 3 services in one day with Bro?  I can't make it through one of his sermons.  I guess he quit doing the preaching from the recliner series of sermons.  

[smittykins]

“3 services on Sunday?”  Perhaps he means 3 services a week”.

At my former fundie-light church, attendance at the three weekly services was certainly encouraged, but there was no pressure to be there “every time the doors are open,” like I’ve read about at others.

[mango_fandango]

Reading the post, it actually seems to make sense if you read “from r” as “for”. “Can’t make it to church for 3 services”, “shop for hours”. 

Holy crap, I actually understood (some) Weenese. Maybe it’s a weird autocorrect??

[Dandruff]

10 hours ago, PumaLover said:

This has long been my hypothesis, although I don't know why he can't proofread before he hits post!

Perhaps it's the "read" in "proofread"?

1 hour ago, Xan said:

Jeff Fuqua is some next-level kind of awful, Thoughtful.

Fuqua?  Um, how does one pronounce that while avoiding the profane?

[wallysmommy]

I looked up how to pronounce Fuqua.  It's few-kwa.  I suspect, however, there's a lot more people saying FUCK-WA than FEW-KWA.

[MayMay1123]

there is a chinese take out near me named foo kwai inn...always pronounced fuck way in ?