Counting On Season 8/9/10/11 4: Babies, Babies, Babies

[Snarkasarus Rex]

I’d say Kendra and/or Jessa for a pregnancy announcement.

Jer and maybe Jason for a courtship announcement.  I think they’ll hold off on Jed until after the election. 

[Meggo]

On 7/10/2020 at 11:08 PM, Audrey2 said:

I guess I was lucky. While our house wasn't a wreck, my Mom had the philosophy that 20 years from now, the kids won't remember what the house looked like, but they will remember the time they spent with Mom and the things we did. When we were around 2, we started "helping" Mom make cookies. (dumping in ingredients, then graduating to stirring, etc.) I also have happy memories of Mom playing "school" with me while she cleaned the house (set me down with old concept papers at my little table.) Mom was also the one who played with us in the yard.

Thank you, Mom. It worked.

This. This is my parenting philosophy (which my mom didn't have). I want my son to remember the fun. And I try to let him pretty well take the lead. He has his own set of knives (they're plastic - but cut veggies pretty well) and he knows that there are safety rules (don't touch the business end of the knife, don't hand someone the knife blade first, don't wave knives etc) and breaking them will get him kicked out of the kitchen. 
But this weekend he desperately wanted to clean toilets and wash the floors (uh - not gonna stop you!) and he learned to drive the bobcat at Dad's shop (he's 7) - and that's the stuff I want him to remember. That and that I will try very hard to drop everything to play with him.

 

[Sullie06]

On 7/10/2020 at 10:50 AM, Meggo said:

My mom was obsessed with the idea of "mess". I don't really remember her being in favor of crafts when we were little - but watching her obsess over my son making messes now really bugs me (or when he was little and eating like babies do and getting food ALLLLLL over himself and his hair etc). He's 7. He's going to get dirty, he's going to make a mess when he paints, he's going to leave a bit of sand wherever he goes and I'M FINE WITH THAT. That's what life - with a kid, specifically a very busy 7 year old boy - is like. Nothing we have isn't washable, or replaceable. The things that are too precious to be loved- are well out of his reach. Get paint on the table, get paint on your clothes, get dirt on your feet (and in your hair, on your hands, on your face). We'll wash it all up when you're done. 
He apologizes for making messes and I tell him "That's okay to make a mess - we all do it - we just have to clean it up."

(I don't naturally come by this positivity about messes - see the comment about my mom - I'm sure she fretted about things being messy when I was a kid too. But I trained myself to say "Oh!! Look at how messy this is! How fun! Making memories! Yay!!!" instead of freaking out about paint being all over the kitchen table and chairs and sand just pouring out of his shoes...)

 

 

My husband is the same way about our kids making messes. Like he obsesses over it and if they are doing something messy I can literally see the distress on his face. He's constantly telling the kids they can't do stuff because it's going to make a mess. We can't have playdough or slime in the house and when the kids want to color, paint, etc it's a  huge process because he gets all worked up. I hate it. Were argue about it a lot because I'm the opposite. Kids are kids and they are messy. 

On 7/10/2020 at 11:49 AM, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

My mother was/is a compulsive cleaner. The house had to be SPOTLESS 24/7. Messes were never allowed, ever, dinner was washed up and put away immediately when done eating, not matter what dinner it was, be it a holiday or a family gathering. Dishes are NEVER left to soak, the floors get swept daily, vacuumed 3x a week, sheets are changed and washed weakly. floors are scrubbed weakly, windows washed monthly (inside and out, not an easy task in Iowa in January). Laundry was done just so, you can't wash your underwear with your towels, if you use a rag on the floor you throw it away, because it will NEVER be clean again. The old bat lives alone, and STILL spends 12 hours a week cleaning her house, she vacuums the vacuum tracks.

She hates cleaning, and complains endlessly about it, and we would always have a raging screaming match every day between her and 1 of us, because she was NOT the house n***** (yes she uses that word, she's not a racist, but...?) It didn't matter if we did chores or not, they were never done to HER satisfaction, so you got yelled at for doing them wrong, and you got yelled at for not doing them. We just stopped, we were in trouble either way, because there is no way to make her happy, she always moves the goal posts. When "doctor" Phil asks, do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?  She wants to be right. Needless to say housekeeping and things like that are a big trigger for my siblings and I. My sister and I can laugh about some of it. A few years ago my BIL was folding towels and I told him he wasn't doing it right, my sister laughed, then he asked "what is this magical way of folding towels?" My sister and I each picked up a towel and folded them the exact same way, without looking at each other, and placed them neatly on top of each other. He just said "that is messed up" We're like yep. 

My Dad's house is spotless. And growing up I always remember it that way. Like you would not know he had kids. Now when we are over at his place for family gatherings I can tell he's trying to loosen up and go with the flow but it's not easy. He follows the grandkids around with a dust buster lol

[JanasTattooParlor]

My stepmom always expected her house and everyone in it to be spotless and as a kid who spent the first 11 years of their life with a mom who let us roll around in the dirt, was barely ever home to clean, and didn’t care if we ever cleaned our rooms or showered, it was a culture shock moving in with her and my dad. She’d rage if I didn’t shower for one day or if my room, which was upstairs and out of view from guests, wasn’t 100% clean at all times. She demanded that I do the dishes twice a day and would vacuum constantly. She had a formal living and dining room full of antiques that would have just collected dust, but didn’t because she would dust them weekly. She made sure that my brother and I always looked perfect and would yell at me that my naturally crazy curly hair wasn’t “done right” which mostly meant it wasn’t perfectly curled and was frizzy. I got out the moment I could for college and am wayyyy more laid back than she is about cleanliness, but have retained her “perfect” cleaning skills of the exact way she liked dishes cleaned and put in the dishwasher and the exact way she made me fold shirts and pants. I’ve been moved out for six years and she still harps on me about my hair if it looks frizzy or a little greasy from not washing it. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

@JanasTattooParlor my hair still drives my mom crazy. She's of the mind set that everyone should have short hair, especially women "over a certain age" of which I am WELL past.  My hair varies in length from shoulder length & down to the middle of my back, it is wavy/curly/frizz and NOW it's purple as well.  She would constantly yell at me to "do something with your hair" Oh honey, it's the 80's I DID do something with my hair. ? 

[Meggo]

32 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

@JanasTattooParlor my hair still drives my mom crazy. She's of the mind set that everyone should have short hair, especially women "over a certain age" of which I am WELL past.  My hair varies in length from shoulder length & down to the middle of my back, it is wavy/curly/frizz and NOW it's purple as well.  She would constantly yell at me to "do something with your hair" Oh honey, it's the 80's I DID do something with my hair. ? 

Is your mom MY mom? 

She has had short hair her entire life. And doesn't understand why I wouldn't want short hair too. When I have my hair down - it's "Oh - you have such a pretty face, can't you pull your hair back?" 
And I had a flash back the other day - to when I was little - 3,4, 5 and had a boy hair cut - my mom always said she knew it was time for me to get a cut because my "horns" came out - turns out - they were just a little curl that would curl out above each of my ears when it got long enough. 

[JanasTattooParlor]

@Meggo @allthegoodnamesrgone are we all siblings?! My stepmom fully believes that women over a certain age should have short hair as it is more “dignified” and was appalled when I told her I’d never cut my hair shorter than my shoulders. She is very much in line with the stereotypical judgmental permed southern ladies and refuses to leave the house without a face full of makeup, gold bracelets and rings on her fingers, and her hair perfectly curled nice and big. She fussed at me last night because I forgot to put my engagement ring on before I left the house and said that I needed to be proud of the fact that I’m an engaged woman like it’s some huge accomplishment. Sorry, I’m more proud of being the first in the family to graduate college and get a masters instead of snagging a ring from the guy I’ve been with since high school and knew I’d get married to from the moment I met him. 

[nvmbr02]

@JanasTattooParlor Your stepmom sounds a lot like my mother. She needed to have every aspect of the house perfect at all times. I still remember one time when I was about 8 and she sent me and my younger sisters into the playroom to clean it after a family party. At the time all of the toys had a specific space they needed to be in. When my mom came to check on our progress one of my sisters had put a my little pony in with the barbies. Well, that made her lose her shit and she dumped everything out for us to clean again. As a teen she was on our case all the time, making sure hair and makeup were up to her standards. We always had to be and dressed with makeup done no later than 9am even on the weekends. 

As an adult I went the opposite route. I ran off and joined the Air Force as soon as I was able. I wore little to no makeup most days and my hair lived in a bun.  When my enlistment was up and I married my husband and we had children I continued to rebel. While I did occasionally sort through my kids toys to organize them I can't say that I ever cared if things got a bit mixed up. All three rolled in the dirt and ate messy foods (even though that did make my cringe a little inside) and my teen regularly sleep in when we have not much going on. And my favorite part is at least one weekend day a month I stay in my PJ's and don't shower until I feel like it which sometimes isn't until bedtime when I want to put cleans pajamas on. 

[Audrey2]

I have to look at it this way. Those who rebelled against our mother's desire for us to have short hair we're the ones that probably manage to make it through all of our stay-at-home orders without being the first to complain that we needed to get our hair done, unless it was a color issue.

I wear my hair longer than my mother would like I know but I use the excuse that I like to hike and always want it long enough to pull back in a ponytail which I found is cooler in the summer than having short hair and having all of the layers sit on your head..

[GuineaPigCourtship]

My husband finally cut his hair the other day when I wasn't home. I had to fix it just a little in back, but am privately thrilled we can maintain it at home now. He used to go to great clips and I spent a lot more time fixing it after each trip.

[shesinsane]

Finally watched the episode, I saw clips of JimBob and Jichelle talking about how quarantine eventually affected them (after a few weeks spent smugly watching other parts of the country get sick and telling themselves it won't come to Arkansas), explaining how their lives had changed; followed by video clips of their children and grandchildren. There's J&M talking about home schooling long before everyone was doing it, cut to their son-in-law teaching their younger kids via Facetime/Skype.

It was lots of J&M talking about what they do, complete with video other people doing that. Some things never change.

To add to Covered by God's Feathers's exhaustive recaps, Anna had a team during Family Game Night: Online Addition. I noticed the teams were narrated as "Jessa and Ben and their team, Joe and Kendra and their team, Anna and her team," and didn't see Jill and Derrick and their team, so I guess we're still pretending Jill and Josh aren't around... which is weird because Anna is all alone yet keeps getting pregnant. ?

Also, while I respect Abby's decision to stay home instead of serving on the frontlines of the War on Coronavirus, using her baby as the reason has got to burn all those medical professionals currently living in garages, on spare couches, or in motel rooms away from their families so they can keep working and saving lives without putting everyone at home at risk. 

[OyToTheVey]

I tried watching the last episode. I was so bored I fast forwarded all of it. And I'm the person who watches documentaries for fun. I'd watch a documentary on the making of a pen but I couldn't finish watching that episode.

[Someone Out There]

15 hours ago, Audrey2 said:

I wear my hair longer than my mother would like I know but I use the excuse that I like to hike and always want it long enough to pull back in a ponytail which I found is cooler in the summer than having short hair and having all of the layers sit on your head..

My requirement when getting my hair cut is that it can still be tied up in a pony tail.

12 hours ago, shesinsane said:

To add to Covered by God's Feathers's exhaustive recaps, Anna had a team during Family Game Night: Online Addition. I noticed the teams were narrated as "Jessa and Ben and their team, Joe and Kendra and their team, Anna and her team," and didn't see Jill and Derrick and their team, so I guess we're still pretending Jill and Josh aren't around... which is weird because Anna is all alone yet keeps getting pregnant. ?

 

Repeated immaculate conception?

[indianabones]

I watched the newest episode. I have to say, I laughed out loud watching Abbie simulate electronic contractions on JD and then coo to him, "Your body was made to do this!"

[Meggo]

3 hours ago, indianabones said:

I watched the newest episode. I have to say, I laughed out loud watching Abbie simulate electronic contractions on JD and then coo to him, "Your body was made to do this!"

What was up with HIS face in return? I've only seen the previews - but his look is kind of a mix between "Well - THAT's awkward" and "Oh crap did the cameras catch that??" 

 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

5 hours ago, Someone Out There said:

My requirement when getting my hair cut is that it can still be tied up in a pony tail.

Mine too. I ALMOST bought into the, women of a certain age shouldn't do... BS then I met my MIL who in her 60's rocked wait length silver hair that she often wore in a pony tail. She is very you do you honey.  I put a brighter purple in my hair last night and I had 3 people complement my hair this morning at the gas station, I do love purple. 

 

I did comb & curl my hair, but it is really humid out. ?  

[indianabones]

4 hours ago, Meggo said:

What was up with HIS face in return? I've only seen the previews - but his look is kind of a mix between "Well - THAT's awkward" and "Oh crap did the cameras catch that??" 

He was in pain. Josiah and him were being big babies about it; they ripped off the sensors because it hurt too much barely a minute into the simulated contraction.

For anyone who's interested, here is a Reddit post with some more background on Teresa, the midwife who led the birth class (I had her confused with Jill's malpracticy midwife friend Venessa so did some googling.)

[mollysmom]

@allthegoodnamesrgone I LOVE the color!!! It looks great!! I wish I was brave enough to do that. I love it!!!!

[feministxtian]

The mother started harping on me about the long hair when I was 35. She raged about it when I turned 40 (by then it was down to my hips). 45, same thing. She died before I was 50 so I didn't have to hear it. My hair is the shortest it's been in years now...to about my shoulder blades, but long enough to still pull up. 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Logan Smith posted this pic from the Andregg wedding. Some Duggar boys were in the wedding party. 

[llg1234]

Anddddd we're back with episode 2. Way too much JB & Michelle, way too many 1XK&C flashbacks.

Beverly Hills Duggars Part 1

Spoiler

Josiah, Lauren, John, & Abbie are going to a birthing class with a midwife named Teresa. The Duggar family has known her for a long time and several of their siblings have also gone to her birth class. Lauren is 30 weeks, Abbie is 18 weeks. They practice labor positions and how the guys can help alleviate pain. Lauren is hoping to have a 'natural' hospital birth. She prefers the hospital over a home birth just in case something goes wrong and because her mom always gave birth in a hospital. Abbie's birth plan is similar, she wants to labor at home for as long as possible before heading is the hospital. When asked if she's wants a 'natural' birth as well, she says, "We'll see." She says it's exciting, but anxiety-inducing at the same time and "John boy's seen some tears." Teresa has the guys wrap a pumpkin around their abdomen to give some perspective on what it's like. She has them do stuff like pelvic rocks, squats, lay down, etc. JB and Meech have a TH about how the birth class really gave him a lot more appreciation for the pregnancy process.

The next exercise has the guys put on an electric contraction simulator. John asks if he can have an epidural. Lauren and Abbie talk them through it. Abbie whispers to John "Your body was made to do this." lol. She says he didn't like the labor simulator and it make uncomfortable. Josiah kept tensing up, which is the opposite of what you're supposed to do. She kept telling him to stop clenching his jaw and breathe through it, but he didn't listen. He ended up only lasting two minutes. John rips off his device. The producer jokes to Abbie that she'll have it down after 19 kids and she says that's not happening.

Jana is in LA to visit Jinger. They're on Rodeo Drive to sight see and shop. They stop at a store called Boulmiche (It's not mentioned, but the shopping spree in Pretty Woman took place at the original store location). Jana is shocked at the price tags. JB tells us about buying used and saving the difference. Jana says she still prefers thrifting overall, although she has bought some new things. She doesn't like spending a lot on clothes. Jinger has always been known as the fashionable one among her siblings and Jeremy is also into to fashion, which she likes. He helps her keeping up with the latest styles. A store clerk helps them pick out some stuff to try on. Michelle has a TH about how the girls used to dress in what they called a "modern modest" style. Jana cringes at how they used to dress. Jinger tries on a super ugly (imo) denim/suede jacket. She would describe her current style as classy, she likes to wear a lot of blazers and heels. The store clerk hands Jana a satin tank top and she makes a face and asks for something with a higher neckline. The clerk convinces her to try it on and it ends up not being that low. Jinger finds a plaid jacket and falls in love with it, even though it costs $300.

A lot of the Duggars describe their style as comfortable. Josie says ugly. Jed says his style needs help, Ben describes his as urban, Lauren says simple/elegant. Jeremy says grandpa, because he likes timeless pieces and some people think that makes him look grandpa-ish. Jinger has Jana try some different skirts and wants to push her out of her comfort zone, including an animal print skirt. She gets the plaid jacket and says Jeremy will be so excited, since she's been looking for a piece like that for so long. The producers tell some of the Duggs about Jinger's purchase and they're shocked at the price.

Back in AR the married sons/in-laws are organizing a spa day for their wives. They're at that huge Baylor house and are decorating it and making mud masks. Josiah and Lauren were going to live there after they were married, but the house wasn't ready and was way too big for the two of them. Joe ends up taking the lead on the decorating and makes the decisions. He apparently does a decent job. John has a couple of sheets of instructions for homemade masks, including pumpkin, honey banana, coffee mud, and green tea. He has never put on a face mask, he says his face can't really be improved (not in a vain way, more like a lost cause). John messes up the pumpkin mask, because he didn't measure the ingredients and put in too much milk. Ben's coffee mask has apple cider vinegar in it??? None of these masks should probably go on your skin. The banana mask has cinnamon in it, which is also a no-no. Where the hell did they find these recipes?

TL;DR John and Josiah can't handle pain at a labor class, Jinger gives her family the vapors when she buys a $300 blazer, the husbands set up a spa day for their wives.

[Satan'sFortress]

26 minutes ago, llg1234 said:

The next exercise has the guys put on an electric contraction simulator.

Has anyone here ever used one of these?  I wonder how it compares to actual labor.  I am guessing not so much, but I suppose I appreciate the thought of trying to have the partner understand a bit.

[Snarkasarus Rex]

6 minutes ago, Satan'sFortress said:

Has anyone here ever used one of these?  I wonder how it compares to actual labor.  I am guessing not so much, but I suppose I appreciate the thought of trying to have the partner understand a bit.

It’s probably a TENS unit (we have one).  While it’s probably the closest a man is going to get to experiencing a contraction, it’s not as intense as the real thing. 

[llg1234]

Beverly Hill Duggars Part 2

Spoiler

The wives attending the spa day are: Abbie, Jessa, Michelle, Kendra, Christina (Kendra's mom), Anna, Lauren, Joy & Lana (Lauren's mom). There's a note card by the cucumber water that says not to place the cucumbers used on their eyes into the water. They're impressed by the thought that went into setting everything up. They take the masks to the bathroom to try. Kendra says Joe messes up with measurements and his banana mask smells strongly of cinnamon. Michelle doesn't try any of the masks, she watches Ivy instead. Lauren also doesn't put on any of the masks, since she's sensitive to smell right now and doesn't know what's in the masks (good call). Cristina puts on the banana mask Joe made and it burns and turns her skin red. The coffee mask is also causing problems. Josiah's green tea mask seems to be the only mask that didn't have any issues, since John's pumpkin mask was too thin. Kendra is 32 weeks and has a braxton hicks contraction and they all marvel at how quiet/calm she seems.

Meanwhile, at Jessa and Ben's house, Joe & Ben are watching their kids (minus Ivy). Henry goes down for a nap, Spurgeon and Garrett play in the backyard. Spurgeon and Henry have a TH together, which is pretty cute. Austin comes over with Gideon. The biggest challenge when watching a bunch of toddlers is making sure they don't hurt themselves. Austin says that Gideon is a handful and it's a full time job making sure he doesn't get into stuff. He works 10 hours a day, but he says watching a toddler is more exhausting than work.

Joy talks about how she prayed that she wouldn't struggle being around the other 4 pregnant women, since she was due around the same time as 3 of them. It's hard, but God has answered her prayers. They put questions about motherhood in a bowl and take turns answering questions.

    Q1: What are some things you struggled with the first few weeks after giving birth?
    A1: Jessa says afterbirth pains, no one told her about them. She didn't have them after the first baby, but did with the second baby. Joy said she struggled with the recovery and the emotional aspect, because you can't put yourself first anymore. Jessa says she also had nursing trouble the first six weeks with Spurgeon.

    Q2: Is it normal to have a regression with potty training after six months? (asked by Jessa)
    A2: Michelle says it's normal and usually due to trying to get attention or just plain misbehaving. Jessa said Spurgeon was potty-trained when he was 3, but started having issues after Ivy was born. 

    Q3: How do you keep your cool when your kids aren't?
    A3: Joy says she already failed that one and Gideon can't even talk yet. Jinger in a TH says it can be hard when Felicity is upset and can't communicate what's wrong. Michelle says to just take a deep breath (like you're in labor) and focus on keeping it together. Jessa mentions Michelle's technique where she lowers her voice and talks quietly when a child is upset. Cristina says that everyone fails as a mom, but it's important to get back up keep moving.

Next week: Jessa & Ben have their first road trip with 3 kids, Felicity goes to a swim lesson (and hates it), Medic Corps goes to The Bahamas to 'help' after hurricane Dorian, a corn maze.

TL;DR - the masks made by the husbands have varying results, the wives talk about questions they have about motherhood.

[VooDooChild]

Wow!  The lack of child development knowledge from the Mother of the Year is sad.  These people make me sick.