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nelliebelle1197

Mills Family 4: Playing Magic for Jesus

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WhaddaIKnow

I wonder if Tom gave HER any comfort toward the end. Last night he said something about (was folding laundry and didn’t catch word for word) he passed the time by playing his game...he wished she’d woke up and told him everything would be ok.

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Itsjustme
53 minutes ago, WhaddaIKnow said:

I wonder if Tom gave HER any comfort toward the end. Last night he said something about (was folding laundry and didn’t catch word for word) he passed the time by playing his game...he wished she’d woke up and told him everything would be ok.

I heard that too. He said he didn't need a last talk, he just wished she had been able to tell him everything would be all right. Unfortunately he does think very much in terms of what he needs. She was dying and he's sad that she wasn't able to tell him things would be ok. It's like he wanted her to mother him.

OR maybe he just wants people to feel bad for him and donate? 

The hospice and hospital I'm sure offered support groups or counseling free for a year as most do. There is NO need for him to be wallowing in self pity in front of strangers. Just run the channel showing day to day life and keep it positive. It's The Mills Family not Tom Mills ongoing pity party. Enough with the trying to influence people to give, he's gotten more help than most people who lose a spouse and are left with kids, and he's in a much better place financially than most people, with the mortgage paid off and gift cards and grocery credits. The fact he doesn't have a mortgage and has a grocery credit and clothing sent are bills he no longer has to pay. So he should have more money in his pocket from working. Time to fly on your own.

 

 

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Nothankyou

I definitely understand seeing a loved one in pain and wanting it to end. And speaking from personal experience,  it's hard to be there and see it. But I sucked it up and held my loved one's hand through it all..to the end. I didn't sit outside their room filming myself on YouTube being absent in their last moments of need. I remember Tom stating in a video after Andrea's death that others had reach out and shared their own losses. I bet they were trying to help and make him feel not alone. To give him a lifeline as many people who haven't been through that don't know how to handle other's grief. His response was quoting an anime show and shouting MY PAIN IS GREATER.  Can you imagine what that must of felt like to hear him say that about your grief after trying to be kind and reach out? I certainly cant. He is an asshat and I can't wait to see what karma does to him. 

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Petronella
2 hours ago, Itsjustme said:

There is NO need for him to be wallowing in self pity in front of strangers. Just run the channel showing day to day life and keep it positive.

Or just...not film himself for youtube at all. That's an option too!

Edited by Petronella

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Ozlsn
5 hours ago, Itsjustme said:

Unfortunately he does think very much in terms of what he needs. She was dying and he's sad that she wasn't able to tell him things would be ok. It's like he wanted her to mother him.

I don't think Tom sees anyone as having needs other than him, at least based on his videos so far. He certainly doesn't seem to recognise that his kids might have needs other than basic food and clothing.  Andrea's role was to take care of him, the fact that she was actively dying and might need comfort that he and the children would be OK didn't seem to occur to him.  As to his current search for a replacement - it is really more that he wants a housekeeper/cook/child-carer with side benefits more than anything else.  If whoever he attracts thinks that Tom will do anything above and beyond - or even the bare minimum of caring for and knowing his kids, let alone his spouse - then they are in for a shock.

3 hours ago, Petronella said:

Or just...not film himself for youtube at all. That's an option too!

Definitely an option.  Would give him time to get to know his children as individuals, learn to cook, learn to clean, learn how much work goes into daily living.  Never going to happen.

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feministxtian
8 hours ago, LilMissMetaphor said:

I think it's different because you wanted your husband's suffering to end.  Tom just wanted his own perceived suffering to end.

I wanted my own suffering to end too. I felt like someone had ripped out my heart and was stomping on it with hobnailed boots. The last couple of weeks were horrible and the last 3 days were painful beyond comprehension. After he died and I saw him laying there it REALLY hit me. He was gone, this was forever. No regrets though, his last semi-conscious words to me on the Sunday he collapsed, after he'd been taken to hospice, were "I love you" and he puckered up for a kiss which I happily obliged him. My last words to him before he sunk into the coma were "I love you so much, but if you need to go, go. I'll be ok". He died roughly 48 hours later. 

Watching someone you love die is a weird thing. There's absolutely no rationality to your feelings at all. You're sad for yourself, you're happy their suffering will soon be over, you wish you could have saved them. I know I wish I had fought the VA to get him referred out to Community Care and a real oncologist before it was too late. It's moving into a totally irrational head space. 

 

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Tekas_76

I've found a page at FB called "Jamberry Fundraiser for Tom Mills" with this description: "This Jamberry party is a Fundraiser for the Mills Family. They are in need of some financial assistance due to medical bills. Why not have awesome looking nails and help out a wonderful family in the process!! visit autumnconroy.jamberrynails.net to order." But it mentions that "Group created on 27 August 2015".

Does anybody has a clue of what this might be? Can it be someone trying to take advantage of the situation?

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louannems
3 hours ago, Tekas_76 said:

I've found a page at FB called "Jamberry Fundraiser for Tom Mills" with this description: "This Jamberry party is a Fundraiser for the Mills Family. They are in need of some financial assistance due to medical bills. Why not have awesome looking nails and help out a wonderful family in the process!! visit autumnconroy.jamberrynails.net to order." But it mentions that "Group created on 27 August 2015".

Does anybody has a clue of what this might be? Can it be someone trying to take advantage of the situation?

I'm not sure but I do know when I went looking for the Andrea Mills GoFundMe account, there was a different one for a Tom Mills, not related to Andrea.  It's a common name.

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Tekas_76
2 hours ago, louannems said:

I'm not sure but I do know when I went looking for the Andrea Mills GoFundMe account, there was a different one for a Tom Mills, not related to Andrea.  It's a common name.

Oh thank you, I didn't know that XD I thought that it was the same Tom and the same Mills family XD

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Justsum1twothree

Feministxtian 

I’m so very sorry that you and your husband had to go through that.

I respectfully disagree with you saying “don’t be so quick to judge here” as far as me calling out Tom saying he wished Andrea would just hurry up and die. It’s one thing to think it to yourself but to broadcast that thought on the internet where your own minor children can watch and still a few still don’t even comprehend their mother’s death, it’s totally uncalled for and still disgusting to me. The internet isn’t going anywhere, that could still hurt them as adults. He keeps saying that his kids are “fine” but he is torn up about it? I don’t believe that. I’m sure those children are going through a world of hurt and I couldn’t imagine them hearing their father say that. I don’t think they would understand but I could be wrong. 
 

As an adult, having to cope with my grandfather having a massive stroke, becoming a double amputee due to diabetes complications, being bed bound and wearing adult diapers with my grandmother taking care of him, if she said she wished he would hurry up and die...I don’t care if this sounds selfish, it would’ve seriously wrecked me to hear that. I don’t care how old I get, I don’t think I could handle hearing anyone say anything like that...saying I’m happy they’re no longer suffering is the same message but with a gentler delivery. Maybe I’m too sensitive to death still even with all the people I’ve lost.

Edited by Justsum1twothree
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nelliebelle1197

I cannot believe he is still on YouTube.


 

 

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