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When Your Dad and Brother Don’t Approve of Your Marriage


JermajestyDuggar

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Just now, ViolaSebastian said:

I had a hard time choosing between "I agree" and "laughing," because this is such a perfect comparison I can hardly stand it.

And Tommy Washburn can be cousin Mose. They even look alike!

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Washburn/LaGoy,Hatfield/McCoy... with the Manderinos thrown in for extra disgust..

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7 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

Oh they do go into it a bit. Here's Hannah's version, which Stephen's sisters disagree with.

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Ohh thank you, I missed that bit  

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On 11/16/2019 at 11:40 AM, Rachel333 said:

I hope Sarah is doing well. Just about anything has to be better than living with her father.

I see the groom's father isn't a fan of the facebook drama.

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One day Tom and Tommy Washburn, Manderino, etc, (including any current minors in the family, unfortunately) are going to find out the hard way that the internet is forever.

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On 11/16/2019 at 9:38 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

Sarah Washburn Lagoy got married in August and it was posted on FB. This was what her father Tom Washburn says under it publicly on Facebook. And her brother Tommy Washburn also puts in his two cents. I knew the Washburns were awful, but this is pretty low. Plus Sarah married the brother of her sister Abigail’s husband. No one seemed to have objections to Abigail marrying Silas Lagoy. But I see there are objections to Sarah marrying his brother. 

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Here is what Tom says: 

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BTW, look how happy they are together. And Tom shits all over it because he thinks he owns his daughter like he owns a cow or a goat. 

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Kinda OT, but why is the wedding celebration (reception?) not until 2/2020?

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2 minutes ago, JMarie said:

Kinda OT, but why is the wedding celebration (reception?) not until 2/2020?

I think it’s likely because they eloped and there wasn’t enough time to plan a reception. Why they chose Feb 2020, I have no clue. Maybe it worked best for their work schedules and it was the earliest time they could book a reception venue. Sometimes those are booked many months in advance.

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11 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think it’s likely because they eloped and there wasn’t enough time to plan a reception. Why they chose Feb 2020, I have no clue. Maybe it worked best for their work schedules and it was the earliest time they could book a reception venue. Sometimes those are booked many months in advance.

I have often heard of couples putting off marriage because they can't afford a huge party. That makes me sad.

It makes more sense to me to get married when you're ready to get married and throw a party when you're able to throw a party. I like that they're comfortable separating the two. Perhaps they're saving up for it.

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3 minutes ago, Petronella said:

I have often heard of couples putting off marriage because they can't afford a huge party. That makes me sad.

It makes more sense to me to get married when you're ready to get married and throw a party when you're able to throw a party. I like that they're comfortable separating the two. Perhaps they're saving up for it.

I also wonder if Sarah was hoping her family would calm the fuck down by February and attend the reception. 

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Just now, JermajestyDuggar said:

I also wonder if Sarah was hoping her family would calm the fuck down by February and attend the reception. 

If I were her I would be hoping they'll stay the hell away.

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Just now, Petronella said:

If I were her I would be hoping they'll stay the hell away.

I think she loves her family and probably wants everyone to get along. But I doubt that will happen anytime soon. 

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Just now, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think she loves her family and probably wants everyone to get along. But I doubt that will happen anytime soon. 

Oh, of course. But that doesn't seem likely. Seems more likely they would take the opportunity to cause a scene. And even if they didn't, people would be tensed up, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Anyway, I wish the young couple all the best, and a great party celebrating with those who truly support them.

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12 hours ago, JMarie said:

Kinda OT, but why is the wedding celebration (reception?) not until 2/2020?

Probably because Sarah's family isn't paying for it so they need time to save up. 

This whole saga really got me thinking about what our other fundies think of mariage without the bride's paternal consent. They might not be so vocal about it, but I think many fundie men share Tom's idea that a father needs to give his blessing in order for his daughter's mariage to be valid, given that he has full authority over her until that day.

For instance, if a Duggar girl dated and eloped without consulting her Dad and without her fiance going through all of JB's crazy hoops, I doubt the couple would be welcome back into the family. Going against her father's authority is a pretty grave sin, and I'm pretty sure they believe that a mariage that started in sin can't be blessed. 

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Guesses as to why February 2020: 

Valentine's day wedding (gag)

2/2/2020, 2/20/2020, 2/22/2020

It's in the off season and dead cheap

Take advantage of Christmas and NYE clearance items without them having the chance to go off. 

 

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1 hour ago, usedbicycle said:

Probably because Sarah's family isn't paying for it so they need time to save up. 

This whole saga really got me thinking about what our other fundies think of mariage without the bride's paternal consent. They might not be so vocal about it, but I think many fundie men share Tom's idea that a father needs to give his blessing in order for his daughter's mariage to be valid, given that he has full authority over her until that day.

For instance, if a Duggar girl dated and eloped without consulting her Dad and without her fiance going through all of JB's crazy hoops, I doubt the couple would be welcome back into the family. Going against her father's authority is a pretty grave sin, and I'm pretty sure they believe that a mariage that started in sin can't be blessed. 

I think each fundie father would handle it differently although I think most would be pissed. JB would pretend like nothing is wrong to the public and give their own Duggar spin. Gil would figure out a way to profit from it. Steve Maxwell would hold a funeral for the daughter. 

I am half joking with these example. But I do think each fundie patriarch would react differently. 

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Well, this has been an AMAZING trip down a previously unknown to me rabbit hole. Thank you all for making my Monday morning interesting. 

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3 hours ago, Petronella said:

I have often heard of couples putting off marriage because they can't afford a huge party. That makes me sad.

Eh, I'm sort of in this situation. We have a legal domestic partnership that allows him to use my insurance plan and gives us rights in emergency situations. With that already taken care of, a wedding would serve purely sentimental purposes. We're saving up for a house on rather modest incomes and planning a big party isn't a priority. I figure we'll do it someday, but it's just not worth the money right now.

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On 11/17/2019 at 9:21 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

And Tommy Washburn can be cousin Mose. They even look alike!

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This thread has come full circle, I can’t believe it.  ☠️

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On 11/17/2019 at 7:29 AM, FecundFundieFundus said:

WOW the wheels on the Washburn bus have come flying off and I'm here for it. 

I can't wait for the angry blog posts to roll out. 

They also have a blog? This is a new batch of batshit crazy fundie-dom and I am still amazed that they are putting this all out on a public FB page. Part of me is dying to know what kinds of ads the FB algorithms are dishing up on their news feeds based on all this back and forth.

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Awww, James, Googling your name again?
This slaves-unmarried daughters parallel continues to make me nauseous.

It’s just so creepy. “I have control over my legally competent and adult child for the REST OF HER LIFE unless I pick a guy to give her to, like a gift of livestock, or maybe a tea set. And if my child goes and contracts a fully legal marriage with another adult, and I don’t like it, then it doesn’t exist.”
Do these people have any idea how crazy they look?

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11 minutes ago, bea said:

Awww, James, Googling your name again?
This slaves-unmarried daughters parallel continues to make me nauseous.

It’s just so creepy. “I have control over my legally competent and adult child for the REST OF HER LIFE unless I pick a guy to give her to, like a gift of livestock, or maybe a tea set. And if my child goes and contracts a fully legal marriage with another adult, and I don’t like it, then it doesn’t exist.”
Do these people have any idea how crazy they look?

I think that's part of what makes it hard for people to escape the way out-there cults and branches of fundamentalism -- the fear of admitting you might have been so wrong, and that you really have been acting crazy.  They've sunk so much time and energy, social and emotional resources into fitting in with this community and belief system, that to objectively see themselves the way the rest of the world sees them would be crushing.  The only way to keep an even remotely even keel must be some level of denial.

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Of course one of these narcissistic men is googling himself! 

Here’s my advice to James: stay out of this! It’s none of your business. Stay out of Washburn family drama in the future. It’s in everyone’s best interest. And please don’t treat little Yael worse than a slave when she wants to marry someone you don’t approve of. 

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21 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think each fundie father would handle it differently although I think most would be pissed. JB would pretend like nothing is wrong to the public and give their own Duggar spin. Gil would figure out a way to profit from it. Steve Maxwell would hold a funeral for the daughter. 

I am half joking with these example. But I do think each fundie patriarch would react differently. 

That got me thinking of PP, a wild card!

On one hand he's a fierce misogynist that definitely believes in property rights over women, on the other hand he eloped with Zsuzsu and consummated hours later in a motel without telling his parents or hers. 

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10 hours ago, Pianokeeper said:

I think that's part of what makes it hard for people to escape the way out-there cults and branches of fundamentalism -- the fear of admitting you might have been so wrong, and that you really have been acting crazy.  They've sunk so much time and energy, social and emotional resources into fitting in with this community and belief system, that to objectively see themselves the way the rest of the world sees them would be crushing.  The only way to keep an even remotely even keel must be some level of denial.

Simple, for me.  They were never my sincerely held beliefs.  They were my parents'.  I am comparable to Sarah, but not to James.

Both of my parents' daughters eloped.  My sister was found out on Facebook.  I only use Facebook to private message and my partner doesn't have an account, plus we live out of state, so no idea when the shoe will drop.

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