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Dillards 81: Volunteering for God


samurai_sarah

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2 hours ago, justmy2cents said:

They never made the details surrounding Sam’s birth public so speculation is all we have. The facts we do know are that he was born via c-section and he had a nice stay. 

Too late to edit but that was supposed to be NICU stay

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Lol, nicu is definitely not so nice!

Thanks for the responses. How odd that they never shared what happened, considering all they do share.

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I doubt there's any way to come off looking positive when talking about the birth.  Total speculation on my part, but if she attempted an unsupervised VBAC at home (endangering herself and Sam) I don't think the Dillards are savvy enough to spin that positively.  It'd be hard for anyone.

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10 hours ago, Jasmar said:

Lol, nicu is definitely not so nice!

Thanks for the responses. How odd that they never shared what happened, considering all they do share.

Oh, I don't know about NICUs not being nice.  NICUs are really a mixed bag. I hated that my daughter had to be in the NICU (Katherine was born at 26 weeks in 1987), many of the procedures she had to undergo were painful, and the stress was incredible.  There was no alternative though.  On the other hand,  the staff in the NICU were some of the finest people I ever met.  

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I wonder if the Duggar clan doesn't have some sort of medical insurance through a Duggar Inc company.  They would qualify for a small business rate, if they have at least one member of each married Duggar family on their payroll. That would cover each "employee's" other family member too,  if Joy Anna Forsyth is listed as an employee she can add Austin & Gideon to that policy.  It would have to be cheaper than all the birth expenses alone, that has had to be over $200k in the last 5 years with what 14 babies, a NICU stay, 3 emergency C/sections and 4 hospital births, a couple ambulance rides etc.

With the shear number of births, I really get the appeal of a birth center, which will be a fraction of the cost, but ONLY if you have real trained midwives there, not the morons the Duggars use.  But these are only good for uncomplicated birth's like Anna, Kendra & Jinger have had, Jill & Joy need to be in the hospital and Anna is getting to the point of having had so many kids she'll need to be in the hospital as a high risk simply because the # of kids they had. 

 

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31 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I wonder if the Duggar clan doesn't have some sort of medical insurance through a Duggar Inc company.  They would qualify for a small business rate, if they have at least one member of each married Duggar family on their payroll. That would cover each "employee's" other family member too,  if Joy Anna Forsyth is listed as an employee she can add Austin & Gideon to that policy.  It would have to be cheaper than all the birth expenses alone, that has had to be over $200k in the last 5 years with what 14 babies, a NICU stay, 3 emergency C/sections and 4 hospital births, a couple ambulance rides etc.

With the shear number of births, I really get the appeal of a birth center, which will be a fraction of the cost, but ONLY if you have real trained midwives there, not the morons the Duggars use.  But these are only good for uncomplicated birth's like Anna, Kendra & Jinger have had, Jill & Joy need to be in the hospital and Anna is getting to the point of having had so many kids she'll need to be in the hospital as a high risk simply because the # of kids they had. 

 

Agreed. LOL, you forgot Jessa. She needs the hospital too. They have to have some sort of medical insurance. JB has too many assets and he seems to be supporting most them, or at the very least controlling the cash flow. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that JB controlled the money but was fully isolated and protected from the debt (like hospital bills, ambulance rides etc..).

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Where did the information about Jill being in the hospital for 10 days after Sam's birth come from?  I don't remember seeing it.

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16 hours ago, Mela99 said:

Jill is happy to discuss her sex life but keeps mum on childbirth. It's odd

Her sexlife proves she is a happy, godly wife that pleases her godly husband the way she’s supposed to. :pb_confused: 

Her botched births does not reflect well on her as a mother, a wannabe midwife or a blessed quiverful. 

For the record: I think Jill and all of the Duggars should be free to chose what they want to share, or (preferably) not share. I’ll just sit over here and chose to NOT read about the Dillard’s sexlife. :brainbleach:

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I have wondered before if Jill has some birth trauma from Sam's birth/NICU stay, and that is why she hasn't made the details public.

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2 hours ago, RosyDaisy said:

Where did the information about Jill being in the hospital for 10 days after Sam's birth come from?  I don't remember seeing it.

I recall reading right after he was born that she was in the hospital for an "extended time" and it kind of explains why the few photos of her after Sam's birth had her sitting down. very pale. frail and sick looking, for several weeks after he was born.  There was speculation that she had a hysterectomy, but that is ONLY SPECULATION, as I have no proof and they have not said either way.

The things we do know is, It was obvious that something went very wrong with his birth, as Derick told us Sam was in the NICU for 2 weeks. The "botched birth" was speculated to be because of her stupidity at trying a VBAC at home for an extend period of time before finally going to the hospital. 

All we know for sure is that Derrick said Sam was in the NICU for 2 weeks, and Jill looked very sick after his birth, why she looked so sick we do not know. Again I'm pretty sure there was some mention somewhere that she was hospitalized beyond the 4 day period required/allowed post C/section. 

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26 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I recall reading right after he was born that she was in the hospital for an "extended time" and it kind of explains why the few photos of her after Sam's birth had her sitting down. very pale. frail and sick looking, for several weeks after he was born.  There was speculation that she had a hysterectomy, but that is ONLY SPECULATION, as I have no proof and they have not said either way.

The things we do know is, It was obvious that something went very wrong with his birth, as Derick told us Sam was in the NICU for 2 weeks. The "botched birth" was speculated to be because of her stupidity at trying a VBAC at home for an extend period of time before finally going to the hospital. 

All we know for sure is that Derrick said Sam was in the NICU for 2 weeks, and Jill looked very sick after his birth, why she looked so sick we do not know. Again I'm pretty sure there was some mention somewhere that she was hospitalized beyond the 4 day period required/allowed post C/section. 

They have also explicitly stated she did NOT get hysterectomy

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2 hours ago, justoneoftwo said:

They have also explicitly stated she did NOT get hysterectomy

Where did they state this? I don't and never have believed she got a Hysterectomy (unlike some snark sources -*cough*-withoutacrystalball-*cough*-) but I don't recall them out right saying that she didn't either? I just assumed she didn't have one because of how often she talked about wanting more kids (and maybe she still does, I don't follow the Dills on social media so idk)

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13 minutes ago, Peaches-n-Beans said:

Where did they state this? I don't and never have believed she got a Hysterectomy (unlike some snark sources -*cough*-withoutacrystalball-*cough*-) but I don't recall them out right saying that she didn't either? I just assumed she didn't have one because of how often she talked about wanting more kids (and maybe she still does, I don't follow the Dills on social media so idk)

They addressed it directly in a reply to a comment on this blog post: https://www.dillardfamily.com/2018/05/happy-mothers-day-3/

dillardhyst.thumb.png.53e3a100e7cc321bedc6e55e25fa753c.png

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I don’t know why that rumour gained so much traction. We had zero proof, and Derrick was on twitter stating two kids were for quitters. He’s a jerk but I doubt he would even be that cruel towards his wife right after birth. 

I think Jill struggled after the birth, whether it was due to trauma or postpartum. She posted on her Instagram about trusting god in the bad times too. 

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I know we've snarked on Jill a lot for probably having tried a VBAC at home, but given Derick's tweets regarding medical expenses and how long it took the Dillards to pay them off - I wonder if financial concerns were part of the reason why Jill might have not wanted to go straight to the hospital with Sam?

Of course this would have backfired with them eventually going to the hospital after all, and Sam's (and Jill's) extended stay.

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43 minutes ago, kiwi said:

(including a turkey defrosted in the bath... emoji85.png).

Wait, is that bad?  It was the only place I could think of to defrost my turkey last year, lol. 

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I thought it was really telling and quite sad that the Duggars posted about their enormous Thanksgiving, with quite extended family (I think eg the Caldwells were there) and explicitly saying they invite friends without local families, and then you have Jill posting about her 'friendsgiving'. Obviously not everyone has to spend holidays with family and it can be a rough time for a lot of people, but it does seem hard on Jill if the only/main issue is the Jim Bob/Derrick relationship slash money spat, and if it's Jill feeling betrayed, not spending holidays together even though they live close and aren't with the other side of the family speaks to the magnitude of what may have gone on.

Jill seems really isolated from her family in general, spending a lot of time posting on Instagram about friends and local influencers (??) and not very much of eg her sisters with very similarly aged kids. When she does post her family its promoting Amy's store or having coffee with Ben's sister (???). In just a brief glance I saw she spent time with Michelle for her birthday but nothing else. Does the rift extend to her siblings do we think? Eg is Jessa mad at Jill and Derick for compromising the family brand and refusing to play ball with the Jim Bob Umbrella of Financial 'Protection'. I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm glad Jill and Derick seem to have stuck up for themselves and are trying their best to live independent, self actualised lives, but it seems impossibly sad that Jim Bob's shady financial practices might have driven such a large wedge in a family that is meant to value above all..... family

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I have to say, Jill looks really good in her new ad for Amy's store (with the black pants and red shirt). 

I think it is a good sign she is hanging around with Amy and with friends over her close family. She looks much happier the last few months than in the period before.

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Wait, is that bad?  It was the only place I could think of to defrost my turkey last year, lol. 


Ive never ever heard of that before. Thanksgiving isnt a thing in New Zealand - dont even get me started on black friday sales (that we seem to have adopted - but its almost been a month long sale!!).

Ive always only ever defrosted meat in a fridge - that obviously doesn’t extend to giant arse turkey’s [emoji51] ive never cooked a turkey, wouldn’t even know where to buy a whole one, turkey’s here are generally sold as “boneless rolled roast”.
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Yeah even though the Duggar’s suck-that is her family so I do feel kind of bad that she seemingly never sees them...I mean we only ever see her with Amy (and that just goes to show how forgiving she can be bc I’m sure Jill looked down on her before how she lived her life (as a normal person) before she got married)

I would have felt less bad for her if they had at least been with Derrick’s mom that day...but I haven’t seen her around much these days either 

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I wouldn’t be surprised if DerJill are also feuding with some of her siblings. The fight is apparently over money and they probably felt some siblings were/are being paid unfairly by JB compared to how they were paid. Derick seemed possessive over the fact that the show used to “have my wife’s name in the title” or something like that he said on Twitter.

For instance, I don’t think Derick and Jeremy got along. The attention was no longer on Derick. He started acting out of line when Jeremy entered the picture. The more the Duggars married children off, the more publicly unruly Derick became. I also think Jessa & Ben are JB followers.

Although Jill’s wedding broke the record for the show’s ratings, I doubt JB paid/pays the kids based off of who’s episode yields the most ratings.

Edited by luv2laugh
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I've seen several photos with Jill & Jessa together on Insta over the past year. One thing that strikes me is that she isn't spending more/any time with Joy & Gideon, I would have thought those two would be BFFs. 

While I think it is a good thing that Jill isn't under JB's control, she's an adult and should be able to do what she wants, it stinks that because he isn't' controlling her, she can't see siblings and her kids don't get to spend time with their cousins and Aunts & Uncles. That there is BS.  @wendy-sparkles Fundies aren't "all about family", they are all about control, and who gets to wield it over whom.  Think of it this way JB & M are ok with Joshly molesting his sisters, but they aren't OK with Derick not following orders. 

It really stinks that in their patriarchal world Jill, Michelle, Joy, whomever can't stand up and say SCREW YOU JB & Derick, act like grown ups for an afternoon and let everyone else enjoy themselves. In gatherings as large as the Duggars have there is no reason for JB & D to interact why can't Jill & the boys be there enjoying family time if they want to be?   

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