M is for Mama 5: Praying for Lunch

[SassyPants]

8 minutes ago, Walking Cat Bed said:

I traded in most of the Instagram accounts I follow for kitten fostering. Because when I need a mental break at work, kittens playing or cuddling does it for me. And when I feel the new-kitten-NEED, I donate to local shelters.

 

 

(I follow a handful of actors as well, but mostly those that do interesting things and don't just pose in front of sunsets.) 

I don’t know why, but the last few months I have been wandering all over IG, and I actually hurt for humanity. Between the mega families (all young, fit, blonde mothered, natural or otherwise, pseudo rich) or the critically ill/dying/ maimed children, my Lord it’s a minefield.  Is everyone trying to cash in on IG? It’s a black hole like no other. When I started telling my husband about these families, he just looked at me like I was out of my mind...which I just might be. My suggestion would be to avoid the IG search button at all costs.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I consider myself lucky. I have an ability to spot bullshit on social media pretty well. Even when they are trying to be “real.” I knew reality tv was bullshit long before everyone else. But I imagine this comes from me being a pretty untrusting person in general. It’s probably why I side-eyed the Duggars long before everything with Josh surfaced. 

[Flossie]

2 hours ago, Walking Cat Bed said:

I traded in most of the Instagram accounts I follow for kitten fostering. Because when I need a mental break at work, kittens playing or cuddling does it for me. And when I feel the new-kitten-NEED, I donate to local shelters.

Let me guess.  Do you watch Kitten Academy?  I hope Brooke finds a forever home, but with her rejecting Pebbles and her possible diabetes issues, so far no one is offering.

(I hope Brooke gets adopted.  Chris and DJ, with the help of their vet, belatedly realized how young Brooke was when she gave birth, and how Pebbles was born with a fever coat because of Brookes health issues.  It made sense that Brooke weaned early once Pebble was eating solid foods, especially when they were trying to introduce that abandoned litter of kittens for Brooke to nurture.  Those kittens were too old to graft onto nursing mother, they were already eating solid foods and pretty independent.

It was fascinating to watch Pebbles turn slowly from white to grey to black before she was adopted.  And Brooke has turned into a cat who shy'd away from interacting with others and now plays with the other cats and follows Chris around all the time.  She's been so good about holding still for her shots when she was on insulin and now waits patiently for her blood tests [which so far indicates that she's not in need of daily insulin shots, and might never need them again]).

[Walking Cat Bed]

@Flossie, my favorite is Kitten Faces. She recently had a batch of SEVEN ginger babies (two different litters that were found together) and two grey tabbies. Sometimes she has the mama with the kittens, but I think she specializes in the orphans. 

[SuperNova]

16 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I don’t think she’s totally kidding. She reminds me of Zoo. She thinks she’s special because she has a big family. 

Abbie can fuck right off with that nonsense. I hate it when people think they deserve special treatment for having children. Don't get me wrong, if I see a mom struggling with her kids and minding her own damn business, I'll be the first to help or ask if they would like to go ahead of me in line or whatever. But women like Abbie who expect others to be inconvenienced because they chose to have a brood. Nope. Good luck with that. 

On that note, we get another gem from Abbie. Maybe Honor wouldn't have such inappropriate attention seeking behavior if you actually bothered to give him your time. The poor little guy know that you have no choice but to pay attention to him if he poops himself. Also, don't discuss your children's bathroom habits without permission you dumb bitch.

"He refuses to be completely potty-trained, although he's perfectly capable of only using the potty all day if he wants. He is my pickiest eater. And he is my least worried about discipline (his answer when asked why he did something he knows is wrong is: "Because I did"). #thanksforthat

But he also has thee cutest, squeaky voice, which he uses to shriek, "MAMMAAAAA, YOU HOOOOOME!!!" every. single. morning when I get back from the gym. The way he flutters those epic lashes makes me grin. His smile rivals the sun for brilliance. And the feel of his chubby arms around my neck is one of my favorite sensations in life.
Honor, your zeal for life inspires and cheers me up every day, and I hope that never changes.

I wouldn't complain if I never had to rinse out another pair of your poopy drawers, though."

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

20 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

Abbie can fuck right off with that nonsense. I hate it when people think they deserve special treatment for having children. Don't get me wrong, if I see a mom struggling with her kids and minding her own damn business, I'll be the first to help or ask if they would like to go ahead of me in line or whatever. But women like Abbie who expect others to be inconvenienced because they chose to have a brood. Nope. Good luck with that. 

On that note, we get another gem from Abbie. Maybe Honor wouldn't have such inappropriate attention seeking behavior if you actually bothered to give him your time. The poor little guy know that you have no choice but to pay attention to him if he poops himself. Also, don't discuss your children's bathroom habits without permission you dumb bitch.

"He refuses to be completely potty-trained, although he's perfectly capable of only using the potty all day if he wants. He is my pickiest eater. And he is my least worried about discipline (his answer when asked why he did something he knows is wrong is: "Because I did"). #thanksforthat

But he also has thee cutest, squeaky voice, which he uses to shriek, "MAMMAAAAA, YOU HOOOOOME!!!" every. single. morning when I get back from the gym. The way he flutters those epic lashes makes me grin. His smile rivals the sun for brilliance. And the feel of his chubby arms around my neck is one of my favorite sensations in life.
Honor, your zeal for life inspires and cheers me up every day, and I hope that never changes.

I wouldn't complain if I never had to rinse out another pair of your poopy drawers, though."

 

Honor sounds like my 5 year old. We still have potty accidents. I’ve tried very hard to be calm about the extremely long struggle to go at least one week of our lives accident free (has never happened). But this is the same child who woke up every 90 minutes every night for the first 2 years of his life and the same child who wanted to nurse 24/7 well into toddlerhood. I’ve mostly just given into the fact that he is going to fight me on everything in life and I just need to stay calm and pick my battles. Because getting upset does nothing to help the situation.

It’s funny because he’s a model child in preschool. His teachers think he’s perfect! 

I want to add that Honor just turned 3. Therefore his having accidents here and there is pretty normal for boys who just turned 3. I only know this because I scoured Any and all info about potty training and normal development. My son is definitely on the later end of potty training. Braggie should probably adjust her expectations a bit. If she did, it might bring her a little more peace.

Edited February 10, 2020 by JermajestyDuggar

[smittykins]

1 hour ago, Walking Cat Bed said:

@Flossie, my favorite is Kitten Faces. She recently had a batch of SEVEN ginger babies (two different litters that were found together) and two grey tabbies. Sometimes she has the mama with the kittens, but I think she specializes in the orphans. 

I recently started following Kitten Lady, she works primarily with orphans.

 If things were different(I had my own house, enough money), I’d totally foster kitties.

[Walking Cat Bed]

1 minute ago, smittykins said:

I recently started following Kitten Lady, she works primarily with orphans.

 If things were different(I had my own house, enough money), I’d totally foster kitties.

If I had my own place (vs renting) I'd adopt a few more. My rotten kitties would adapt. 

 

And I enjoy Kitten Lady, too -- she just got a tiny piglet! 

[Ozlsn]

44 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

Abbie can fuck right off with that nonsense. I hate it when people think they deserve special treatment for having children. Don't get me wrong, if I see a mom struggling with her kids and minding her own damn business, I'll be the first to help or ask if they would like to go ahead of me in line or whatever. But women like Abbie who expect others to be inconvenienced because they chose to have a brood. Nope. Good luck with that. 

On that note, we get another gem from Abbie. Maybe Honor wouldn't have such inappropriate attention seeking behavior if you actually bothered to give him your time. The poor little guy know that you have no choice but to pay attention to him if he poops himself. Also, don't discuss your children's bathroom habits without permission you dumb bitch.

"He refuses to be completely potty-trained, although he's perfectly capable of only using the potty all day if he wants. He is my pickiest eater. And he is my least worried about discipline (his answer when asked why he did something he knows is wrong is: "Because I did"). #thanksforthat

But he also has thee cutest, squeaky voice, which he uses to shriek, "MAMMAAAAA, YOU HOOOOOME!!!" every. single. morning when I get back from the gym. The way he flutters those epic lashes makes me grin. His smile rivals the sun for brilliance. And the feel of his chubby arms around my neck is one of my favorite sensations in life.
Honor, your zeal for life inspires and cheers me up every day, and I hope that never changes.

I wouldn't complain if I never had to rinse out another pair of your poopy drawers, though."

God help her if she has a child with additional needs. Actually screw her, God help any child she has with additional needs, she doesn't cater to the needs of the children she already has. And literally none of that behaviour sounded inappropriate or attention seeking to me, or even particularly unusual for a three year old.

[AliceInFundyland]

22 hours ago, milkteeth said:

 

It's sad but this is so common across entirely disparate groups of people who are on social media, but especially Instagram.  Personally, I've stopped looking at Instagram for my own mental health because I was following a bunch of travel instagrams as well as 'influencers' in the various hobbies that I liked. I know that these are all very carefully curated pages that show exactly what the person who runs it wants you to see. It still sucks to see post after post of 'Oh look, here I am relaxing at a beautiful hot spring in Iceland! Next up, we're flying to Bali!' or 'Here is the beautiful cottage garden I planted at the charming 19th-century farm house my fellow Millennial husband and I own.' when you're living your very normal, not-curated life with a boring job, rent that's due, loans to pay off and zero hot springs to relax in. 

My partner's main hobby is house plants, and right now we have around 125 houseplants in our two bedroom apartment. He enjoys posting pictures of them on his Instagram, but he never posts as often or gets as many likes as any of the major influencers you see on "Plantstagram" accounts...because we both work full time jobs and live in a two bedroom apartment. Neither of us have the time or energy to try to make people think we don't have a pile of junk mail that needs to be gone through or old tea mugs that need to be taken to the kitchen and washed. 

I'm super envious of you!

125 houseplants is awesome.

You all have a life worth living too ?

[JermajestyDuggar]

27 minutes ago, Ozlsn said:

God help her if she has a child with additional needs. Actually screw her, God help any child she has with additional needs, she doesn't cater to the needs of the children she already has. And literally none of that behaviour sounded inappropriate or attention seeking to me, or even particularly unusual for a three year old.

I say this to myself when it comes to a lot of fundie parents. I imagine Braggie or Zoo would treat a child with additional or special needs like a dirty sinner who needs punishment, not help. 

[Screamapillar]

Abby is the worst. It's always the suffering Olympics with her. She doesn't know the woman in the other car with "zero" children who she doesn't think deserved to get her pick-up order first. That woman could have 12 young children and they're at school or with another parent, for all she knows. She could be caring for elderly parents. She could work 80 hours a week and only has a few minutes in her day to pick up her groceries.

Abby's probably counting down the days until her oldest child gets his learner's permit so she can pass off every errand on to him.

[SuperNova]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Honor sounds like my 5 year old. We still have potty accidents. I’ve tried very hard to be calm about the extremely long struggle to go at least one week of our lives accident free (has never happened). But this is the same child who woke up every 90 minutes every night for the first 2 years of his life and the same child who wanted to nurse 24/7 well into toddlerhood. I’ve mostly just given into the fact that he is going to fight me on everything in life and I just need to stay calm and pick my battles. Because getting upset does nothing to help the situation.

It’s funny because he’s a model child in preschool. His teachers think he’s perfect! 

I want to add that Honor just turned 3. Therefore his having accidents here and there is pretty normal for boys who just turned 3. I only know this because I scoured Any and all info about potty training and normal development. My son is definitely on the later end of potty training. Braggie should probably adjust her expectations a bit. If she did, it might bring her a little more peace.

Fair enough. I admit that I despise Abbie and that colors my view of anything she posts. That being said, I don't believe that she is capable of adjusting her expectations when it comes to her children. Honor may very well have needs, emotional or otherwise, that are different than his siblings and she doesn't seem to want to be bothered with any more than absolutely necessary.

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

Fair enough. I admit that I despise Abbie and that colors my view of anything she posts. That being said, I don't believe that she is capable of adjusting her expectations when it comes to her children. Honor may very well have needs, emotional or otherwise, that are different than his siblings and she doesn't seem to want to be bothered with any more than absolutely necessary.

I agree. I understand her frustration but I truly think her expectations may be too high right now. I wouldn’t be surprised if her older kids were fully trained by now and she thinks all kids are the same. Honor having accidents sucks but she needs to tell herself hard is not the same as bad and quit expecting toileting perfection from a newly 3 year old.

[SuperNova]

@JermajestyDuggar I was almost willing to cut her some slack after reading your perspective. But then I took another peek at her Instagram. Abbie is bad for my blood pressure:

"The world will tell you to teach your children to stick up for themselves, but, while there may be something to that (I certainly want my children to know what they believe and to stand strong in it), I'd rather have kids who lay down their rights to care for others. And it starts with each other.
Mamas, don't ever apologize for teaching your kids to serve each other, whether you've got 2 or 20. The relationships that blossom and the sweetness that grows as a result will not only melt your mama heart but also be a testimony of Jesus's self-sacrificial love everywhere you go."

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

@JermajestyDuggar I was almost willing to cut her some slack after reading your perspective. But then I took another peek at her Instagram. Abbie is bad for my blood pressure:

"The world will tell you to teach your children to stick up for themselves, but, while there may be something to that (I certainly want my children to know what they believe and to stand strong in it), I'd rather have kids who lay down their rights to care for others. And it starts with each other.
Mamas, don't ever apologize for teaching your kids to serve each other, whether you've got 2 or 20. The relationships that blossom and the sweetness that grows as a result will not only melt your mama heart but also be a testimony of Jesus's self-sacrificial love everywhere you go."

 

Wow, way to raise doormats Braggie. I hope Ezra doesn’t grow up to marry a woman just like his mother. 

[danvillebelle]

14 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

God help her if she has a child with additional needs. Actually screw her, God help any child she has with additional needs, she doesn't cater to the needs of the children she already has. And literally none of that behaviour sounded inappropriate or attention seeking to me, or even particularly unusual for a three year old.

God help the child, for sure.  It's crossed my mind a couple of times how utterly Braggie's world would be rocked if she had a child with true special needs.  She wouldn't be the center of her own world any longer.  She'd have no idea how to handle it (and her older kids and her mother would undoubtedly handle the brunt of it).

Neither of my sons were completely potty-trained until after age 3.  I always thought that was pretty normal.  

12 hours ago, SuperNova said:

Mamas, don't ever apologize for teaching your kids to serve each other, whether you've got 2 or 20. The relationships that blossom and the sweetness that grows as a result will not only melt your mama heart but also be a testimony of Jesus's self-sacrificial love everywhere you go."

Uh-huh.  (I have a sneaky suspicion someone's reading here and responding to us criticizing her 9yo caring for the baby)

Considering the number of kids she has, statistically, I'd bet a large sum that two of them will end up like my sons, who are less than 2 years apart.  

They love each other.  When the shit hits the fan, they are there.  Other than that - they literally have no interaction.  None.  They don't socialize, they don't hang out, they don't chat.  They are as different in personality, tastes and life philosophies as seems possible for 2 siblings raised in the same family.  

[danvillebelle]

4 hours ago, danvillebelle said:

They love each other.  When the shit hits the fan, they are there.  Other than that - they literally have no interaction.  None.  They don't socialize, they don't hang out, they don't chat.  They are as different in personality, tastes and life philosophies as seems possible for 2 siblings raised in the same family.  

Adding...the above is fine with me, and has fuck-all to do with how they were raised.  Because they are INDIVIDUALS, and my identity is not tied up in who they choose to be or how they turned out as adults.

[JermajestyDuggar]

31 minutes ago, danvillebelle said:

Adding...the above is fine with me, and has fuck-all to do with how they were raised.  Because they are INDIVIDUALS, and my identity is not tied up in who they choose to be or how they turned out as adults.

My parents are probably surprised my sister and I are as close as we are. We aren’t actually that close. But we are friends. Which is a lot of you saw us a children. We fought constantly. I’m not exaggerating. We never got along. Our personalities are so different that we were like oil and water. Even though we are both still very different as adults, we have figured out how to get along just fine. 

[AmazonGrace]

21 hours ago, SuperNova said:

Abbie can fuck right off with that nonsense. I hate it when people think they deserve special treatment for having children. Don't get me wrong, if I see a mom struggling with her kids and minding her own damn business, I'll be the first to help or ask if they would like to go ahead of me in line or whatever. But women like Abbie who expect others to be inconvenienced because they chose to have a brood. Nope. Good luck with that. 

On that note, we get another gem from Abbie. Maybe Honor wouldn't have such inappropriate attention seeking behavior if you actually bothered to give him your time. The poor little guy know that you have no choice but to pay attention to him if he poops himself. Also, don't discuss your children's bathroom habits without permission you dumb bitch.

"He refuses to be completely potty-trained, although he's perfectly capable of only using the potty all day if he wants. He is my pickiest eater. And he is my least worried about discipline (his answer when asked why he did something he knows is wrong is: "Because I did"). #thanksforthat

But he also has thee cutest, squeaky voice, which he uses to shriek, "MAMMAAAAA, YOU HOOOOOME!!!" every. single. morning when I get back from the gym. The way he flutters those epic lashes makes me grin. His smile rivals the sun for brilliance. And the feel of his chubby arms around my neck is one of my favorite sensations in life.
Honor, your zeal for life inspires and cheers me up every day, and I hope that never changes.

I wouldn't complain if I never had to rinse out another pair of your poopy drawers, though."

 

"Because I did" sounds like a perfectly normal toddler response to questions why they did something. Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer. Most three year olds  just aren't going to be introspective enough to come up with a more verbally advanced metacognitive analysis of their decision making process. "Sorry mom, I was hungry and cranky and it was about two hours after I was due for a nap so I was extraordinarily annoyed with my babysitter and her seemingly arbitrary rules, so I broke the vase because I still struggle with  the concept of monetary value and because I had no idea the butt-ugly thing was a present from your grandma who died ten years before I was born. Oopsie. "

[JermajestyDuggar]

47 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

"Because I did" sounds like a perfectly normal toddler response to questions why they did something. Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer. Most three year olds  just aren't going to be introspective enough to come up with a more verbally advanced metacognitive analysis of their decision making process. "Sorry mom, I was hungry and cranky and it was about two hours after I was due for a nap so I was extraordinarily annoyed with my babysitter and her seemingly arbitrary rules, so I broke the vase because I still struggle with  the concept of monetary value and because I had no idea the butt-ugly thing was a present from your grandma who died ten years before I was born. Oopsie. "

I’ve learned that with preschool age children, you have to ask specific questions. For example: “were you too busy playing that you waited too long to go potty?” Actually I have to ask specific questions to my 7 year old as well. If I say, “how was your day at school?” I will get a one word response. But if I ask him, “did you do anything new or different at school today?” I’ll get a longer answer. Braggie has 8 kids. She should know this shit by now.

Edited February 11, 2020 by JermajestyDuggar

[AmazonGrace]

18 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’ve learned that with preschool age children, you have to ask specific questions. For example: “were you too busy playing that you waited too long to go potty?” Actually have to ask specific questions to my 7 year old as well. If I say, “how was your day at school?” I will get a one word response. But if I ask him, “did you do anything new or different at school today?” I’ll get a longer answer. Braggie has 8 kids. She should know this shit by now.

Yeah and a huge chunk of parenting involves gently suggesting children various reasons and verbalizations and rationalizations why things happened the way they happened, not  getting annoyed because tiny toddlers can't come up with these psychological analyses on their own.

[TuringMachine]

28 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’ve learned that with preschool age children, you have to ask specific questions. For example: “were you too busy playing that you waited too long to go potty?” Actually have to ask specific questions to my 7 year old as well. If I say, “how was your day at school?” I will get a one word response. But if I ask him, “did you do anything new or different at school today?” I’ll get a longer answer. Braggie has 8 kids. She should know this shit by now.

I still have trouble with non specific questions and I'm an adult. My boss was getting a little annoyed with me because I always respond to "how are you" with "fine." It's half reflex and half I struggle with being honest with my feelings.

Edited February 11, 2020 by TuringMachine

[danvillebelle]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

My parents are probably surprised my sister and I are as close as we are. We aren’t actually that close. But we are friends. Which is a lot of you saw us a children. We fought constantly. I’m not exaggerating. We never got along. Our personalities are so different that we were like oil and water.

With my boys it was the opposite.  They were tight and did everything together till they both hit puberty...then BAM it was over.  Again, there's no animosity or bad blood at all - they just have almost nothing in common other than the fact they are brothers.

I tried, in vain, to explain this concept to my mother when she pressed me over the holidays as to why I didn't go to Thanksgiving with my husband's older sister and her husband.  I didn't go because I have enough self-confidence and self-worth, finally at age 50, to refuse to put forth any effort for people who don't give a shit about me.  My mom literally can't comprehend - she thinks everyone should be able to be sociable and friendly with everyone else. (there's a good reason my brother and I have called her Plastic Mom since we were teens)  Fuck that noise, I did that for too many years.

[SuperNova]

23 minutes ago, TuringMachine said:

I still have trouble with non specific questions and I'm an adult. My boss was getting a little annoyed with me because I always respond to "how are you" with "fine." It's half reflex and half I struggle with being honest with my feelings.

I'm not a fan of "how are you" and literally everyone asks. I always say "fine" because I assume that the asker is going through the motions of social niceties and doesn't really care. Also, I'm a private person and I don't want to share how I really feel.