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Lori Alexander 73: Looking for Reading Comprehension, Empathy, or Self-awareness.


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On November 18, 2019 at 6:06 PM, louisa05 said:

OMG, that's just cruel. And why would they just walk ahead of a child when out like that? Who does that? You stop and wait for the child. And kids get homesick in situations like that. You comfort them, you don't belittle them or lecture them. 

Lori and Ken are assholes. And that's putting it nicely. 

 

Exactly! They left an 8-year-old who asked them to wait for her, to manage her bike and sweatshirt on her own. They couldn't hold the bike up for 30 seconds so she could get her sweatshirt on?

Also, Lori, I'm generally not a fear monger, but that's how kids get kidnapped. 

On November 19, 2019 at 7:40 AM, delphinium65 said:

I'm not at all sure that the child's fear of being left alone was false.  Leaving her, and letting her wander around lost, is the kind of cruel, heartless 'teaching' that Lori loves.  I strongly suspect that the grandchild has learned that she can't trust grandma, and that her fear of abandonment is unfortunately very reasonable.  

Lori lies and contradicts herself so much, I'd be amazed if anyone trusted her for anything at all. I think the kiddo was probably right to assume that Lori would just leave her there.

2 hours ago, Petronella said:

”Ben is capable of making a sandwich, or a pizza, or some such, but he hasn’t and he shouldn’t have to. He has a mother.”

You know full well if this story had been about a daughter the same age, the kid would be berated for not making herself a full "nourishing" meal - and having food ready for Dad when he got home. But our kid Ben there has a penis, which makes him completely justified for being too lazy to open the fridge or throw a bag of popcorn in the microwave. That's women's work!

51 minutes ago, Koala said:

-12 year old in a house with food goes from noon until nearly mid-night without eating?  Nope, again.  He may have wanted fast food (which is fine), but I don't believe for a minute that he'd gone all day without eating.  It may have been junk food, but there's no way a 12 year old with easy access to food is going to go hungry.

So much this. There's no way the average 12-year-old is going to sit there hungry all day unless it's a deliberate ploy to guilt mom about something. All the 12-year-olds I've ever met would have been raiding the cabinets and fridge periodically throughout the day. I remember being a bit younger than that and staying home from school sick, when my parents were at work. Mom would call to check in a couple times during the day, but I'd make myself whatever I wanted to eat when I got hungry. 

Then again, I don't have a penis, so...

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On 11/20/2019 at 5:19 AM, Petronella said:

In the previous thread, @SuperNova quoted a comment that fascinated/horrified me. It didn't really get discussed, so I'm bringing it here.

From https://thetransformedwife.com/does-female-rebellion-weaken-men/

Comment thread in the spoiler because it's long. It's the sob story from poor commenter Eric who is reaping the terrible consequences of marrying a feminist (or "of being an asshat." Potato, potahto). The phrase "unbeknownst to me I married a feminist with two high level degrees" makes me cackle. I'm guessing he means that he didn't realise she was a feminist, but the two degrees maybe should have given that away? Or just, y'know, her general self-respect? But it also kind of reads like he was surprised to discover he married her at all, which cracks me up ;-D

In his sad tale, he was "pastoring" and "started to teach on this topic" (womanly submission) and she told him she would start submitting when he got as many degrees as she has (I assume this was a sarcastic rejoinder but he seems like he might be taking it literally).

Good on her for telling their kids they don't need to obey his garbage views. He's now living in his car and has exactly four friends (who exactly was he "pastoring"??).

Read on for bonus bloviating by Trey! Boldings by me.

Spoiler
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Eric says:

November 7, 2019 at 5:50 am

Dear Lori,
I just woke up to pray in my car, where I have been sleeping because unbeknown to me I married a feminist with two high level degrees who told me she won’t submit to me until I get two degrees. She has mental issues. I was pastoring and she set out to destroy me when I started teach on this topic. I’m not weak, and I refuse to let her break me. She was only taught how to get a education and overrule men. It’s been the worst 10 years of my life, but it never broke me. My faith is in the word of God. These women are evil and mean.

Telling our children they don’t have to listen to me, when I teach them the word and how to be godly adults. Because of her, everyone has forsaken me but 4 people. She refuses to give me any of our money which she transferred into another bank with just her name on in. I’m saying this to say, you are on point and here is some of their ugly fruit. Thank God I knew I was a good man, and I refuse to bow down the enemy. I would rather sleep in my car and not eat, just to be free from that controlling spirit. The story that I have, they are crazy.

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 Jilly says:

November 7, 2019 at 7:23 am

Eric, you are a very strong man, (like my dear Hubby) keep your strength in our God and never give up! God can change the hardest of hearts! If it is okay I will put you in my prayer book so I remember to pray for you and your children and wife!

Keep the faith dear man – keep the faith! Our God is able to turn bad to good!???

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 Jesse says:

November 7, 2019 at 10:48 am

Eric I am saddened by your story, no man should be treated in this manner. “An excellent wife who can find?” Proverbs 31:10. The answer is not many or perhaps even very few. I’m terribly sorry you have to suffer in this way. I have family members who have had their lives ravaged by our feminist society in similar fashion. These afflictions we face are light and momentary compared to the weight of glory that awaits. Look to Christ and take not your eyes away from him. He will return and he is bringing his recompense with him, repaying each for their deeds. I pray your wife will repent and flee from her rebellion. May God bless you Eric

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 A disciple says:

November 7, 2019 at 11:11 am

Dear Eric,

We are in the UK but we would like to be in touch to assist you with your need and share the Word of God. Could Lori forward this email to you: disqusedification@gmail.com

Stay close to your Father – He will avenge Himself of His (+your) enemies and honour you.

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 Meg says:

November 7, 2019 at 3:00 pm

Eric,
I’m sorry you are going through a rough spot. However, I can’t help but wonder if there were indicators of her behaviour before you married? If so, I struggle to muster up sympathy for you.

You’re wife is clearly in the wrong. If I was like that, my husband would sooner kick me out of the house and change the locks on the house than sleep in the car. I will pray for you and you’re family. But if she was this career minded, stubborn,manipulative and controlling before you married and you married her anyway, then it was a foolish move that you will pay the consequences for for years and generations to come. That does not mean you can run from it. Stand you’re ground in Christ and if she can’t stand the heat, she should get out of the kitchen so to speak.

Tell her, ‘this is my house, regardless of my education, and my rules. It will not change unless directed by God. Either conform, or there’s the door, come back when you change you’re mind.’ and leave it at that.

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Trey says:

November 7, 2019 at 3:58 pm

Meg,

Are you really that naive?

You say “If I was like that, my husband would sooner kick me out of the house and change the locks on the house than sleep in the car.”

If he did that his wife would call the police on him and big daddy government would come with their guns and throw HIM in jail and it would all work against him even more when she divorced this “unloving”, “hateful”, “cruel” man for what he did to this “poor innocent woman”. It happens every day.

The deck is stacked WAY against men in this gynocentric world and men are in a no-win situation with virtually ZERO tools to combat this type of out-of-control woman. 100 years ago he could have turned this Jezebel over his knee and paddled her bottom and most would have applauded him for doing it but nowadays if a man even looks at his wife wrong, he will find himself with a restraining order against him and the court kicking him out of his own home.

You say “But if she was this career minded, stubborn,manipulative and controlling before you married…”

Seriously!?! No man would marry a woman like that. Women lie and are some of the most deceptive and manipulative creatures on this earth! Many of them are award winning actresses that never get on film, they just do whatever it takes to get that ring on their finger and a child support payment (or two) on the ground and THEN their true colors began to come out. Jekyll and Hyde!

And for the record, Eric did not ask for your sympathy. There might of been some things he could have done differently but frankly you (as a woman) are NOT the one to be telling him that. You should be ashamed of yourself for being disrespectful and kicking this man when he is down. It is not your place.

If your husband is half the man that you make him out to be and he saw what you wrote up there he would tell you the same thing.

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Meg says:

November 7, 2019 at 6:32 pm

Trey,

Thank you for your input.

I am fully aware of what women are like and it’s shameful. And yes, they can be deceitful. I am disgusted by such behaviour. However it’s not entirely uncommon for men to think it’s wonderful marrying an ‘educated’ woman. But overtime the woman becomes arrogant with her knowledge and affirmation from peers and morphs into a beast at home, blinded by feminism. I am aware of that.but does this mean he sleeps in the car for the rest of his days to avoid the wrath of his sinful wife? By doing so does this confirm in his children’s minds that daddy has no authority? There has to be a line drawn somewhere.

If she chooses to leave rather than obey his God given leadership. It’s her choice that she will have to answer for. Could there be legal ramifications? Yes.but the question is, who do you fear more? God, or man? If he acts in a way that honours God, while she may get everything, children,house, car etc. It’s earthly possessions. God is in control and as long as we honour Him she will eventually be exposed and come to ruin and the kids will be drawn to daddy. While she becomes a bitter, lonely old wretch. He may not of asked for sympathy but by posting about his woes he had to of been aware in a site geared towards women he was bound to get it. As for teaching a man? We’re men surrounding him encouraging him to stand his ground as head of his home? I didn’t see it. He’s not forced to agree with me however I don’t usually give my thoughts on topics like this. I leave it to my husband. Had he been here, his only gripe would be it came from my mouth, not from his. I appreciate your words.

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 Elias says:

November 8, 2019 at 12:11 pm

Meg,
about 97% of the people I talk to think they have above average common sense. Why? Metacognition! Those who lack sense, don’t have enough sense to realize it.

Have you ever turned around a rebellious wife in this culture? Trey has. Trey, a very intelligent and wise man has told you to stop foolishly trying to tell this man what to do, after the original post also tried to tell you to stop trying to lead men. So, did you wise up and pipe down? No when you got corrected you doubled down on your foolishness and tried to even implicate your husband as being as foolish as yourself. But yet you assume that this man’s evil wife will respond in some wiser way when she is corrected, as though this wicked woman will somehow have so much more sense than you that she will know to respond with meekness and humility. LOL

And if, due to his wife, he is living out of his car, can you not grasp that he already realizes he married a poor choice, every single miserable hour he spends in that car? There is no way she would have ever led him to believe she would be this way, and that he would have signed on for this. He got misled by trusting a woman. Hopefully he has been burned enough not to take marriage direction from yet another woman.

 Meg says:

November 8, 2019 at 2:55 pm

Elias,
There is no guarantee she will turn around. But that does not release him of responsibility before God. Additionally, he also made an unwise choice before marriage. He’s not the only one. As for teaching men, I am not to teach men scripture. I used no scripture in my comments. I affirmed what I’m sure he already knows is his position. As for implicating my husband, I’m only repeating what Ive heard him say many times before.

 Cody says:

November 8, 2019 at 6:11 am

Excellent job, Trey.

There’s a concept called putting a woman in her place. That implies enforcement whether light or severe. It used to be a laudable practice. Now with women having cultural, social, and legal leverage over men, men cannot do this anymore without severe risk of convictions of domestic violence.

It never occurs to these people that women lie and throughout history they have been known for it. It is also possible that a woman can change for the worst after marriage, in many cases today, the reason is wicked companions or influences. If men try to restrict their wives’ associations he will be called controlling or manipulative.

It’s ridiculous how these people complain about the marriage rates and birthrates falling while at the same time, they put severe pressure on the collective of young men need to man up and get married. Then when these young men do get married to women who are not good wife material they try to put all the blame on him.

Eric, you deserve better. You are a man who I have no doubt have done a fine job as a father. I have a prayer group at my church I will add you to it.

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In case you want a laugh, here's my "translation" of that whole block of comments...

Spoiler

Eric: “I got married to an intelligent normal woman who expects to be treated with normal human dignity. I’m an amateur religious babbler who thinks I’m better than her. We got into a fight about the legitimacy of her equality and dignity in the family – but I’ve just never believed in that and I’m never going to. The final straw was when she refused to shut up and let me teach our children about her inferiority. Only 4 people think I’m doing the right thing here. She has control of some of our shared assets, and she doesn’t want to live with me anymore. I’m just so proud of my pride and self-assurance. I’d rather wallow in this mess of my own making than admit that God has created all of humanity on an equal footing.”

Jilly: “Ooooh. Good for you! Keep being an ass. I bet our ‘God’ will brainwash her into believing in your marital superiority in no time! After all it worked on me.”

Jesse: “Poor you. What suffering! No man should have to put up with a normal woman moving on from a relationship with a man they used to love, and later tolerated. There must be very few women willing to deal with the kinds of indignities we think we are entitled to hand out. After all, I just don’t know any women like that, but I know lots of ass hat men whose wives have left them just like yours. Hang on though, when God judges their lives, I’m sure he will punish these independent women and vindicate all of the ass hat men. I hope our ‘God’ brainwashes her instead of punishing her, because that would make your life so much nicer in the meantime.”

A disciple, “You’re just the kind of misogynist we severely lack in the UK. Please contact me so I can recruit you for our ‘ministry’.”

Meg: “Hey, so, how did you miss the signs of her high view of herself? Didn’t you say she had already chose to get an education? It’s pretty obvious you shouldn’t have married her in the first place with two big red flags like that! I mean, she’s obviously in the wrong, but why are you the one in the car? That sounds so beta. I suggest storming around and bullying your wife and kids out of the home instead. After all, she might accept her inferior status if you threaten to make her and the children homeless over it.”

Trey: “Don’t be stupid Meg. Even the police won’t let him be that much of an ass hat. The idiots running our country seem to believe that it’s the abusive men who lose access to the family home when they start making threats like that. It’s almost like they consider her ownership rights equivalent to his, and won’t give him permission to commit crimes to get his own way. He has even lost the right to violently assault her and shame her – much less change the locks on property she owns.”

Also Trey: “Also, he’s not to blame for missing the red flags that this woman thinks she’s human and equal – lots of women just trick men into marriage. It’s not that both people fall in love an overlook some points of friction at first. In reality, the woman is not in love. She just fakes it for a decade or so, while having sex and conceiving children as a method to procure money from him. It’s after the kids that she stops faking: because single parenthood with an ass hat deadbeat ex was her goal all along. And, also, just shut up. You can’t criticize because you don’t have a penis. Nothing you say matters. Plus, you don’t matter to your husband either: so there.”

Meg: “Thanks! I totally agree that most women trick men into marriage in order to accomplish their goal of single parenthood with an ass hat ex – but I think the men make it easy by admiring intelligence in women when they shouldn’t. I know it’s compelling at first, but men should resist that attraction, because an intelligent woman is not going to put up with his BS for very long. When her patience runs out, he will find that her intelligence, used against him, will make it hard for him to get his way as their relationship is ending. I still think he should storm in and take ownership of the house by being a bully. I’m terrified of my husband’s anger. If he acted that way, I would instantly comply. If she doesn’t I guess our ‘God’ will have to be responsible to punish her as she works with the law to get a fair settlement of marital assets and custody. Eventually, maybe our ‘God’ will brainwash the kids instead, and that will hurt her by making the kids like their dad more than their mom. I don’t think I shouldn’t talk about this, but I’m only sharing thoughts I know my husband would approve of, so that makes it okay.”

Elias: “Meg, you are too stupid to know how stupid you are. Trey has successfully bullied his wife back into subordination and service. If you haven’t done the same thing, your advice is worthless. I admire Trey’s strategic abuse that he has shared in the past, and I believe him when he says women can’t be successfully corrected by reasonable methods. Just look at you. He told you to shut up, and here you are still talking. The man has already been hoodwinked by his wife. Since you share the same genitals as her, I don’t think he will take advice from you or any other woman seriously ever again.”

Meg: “You’re right. I know that my advice probably won’t be effective. I just think that he will feel better if he brings a full force of anger to the situation as one last stand. It will be better for his pride. I still think my thoughts are worth sharing because they are neither my own thoughts nor are they biblical. They are just things my husband says all the time to pre-intimidate me in case I ever think of ending things with him.”

Cody: “Yay Trey! Do you remember when men used to be able to freely bully and abuse their wives? No, neither do I because I’m not 70 years old, but I imagine it. All the time. I really like to imagine it. A lot. It sucks that domestic violence is illegal these days. I think men looking at marriage need to really be educated about the single-parenting goals of lying women these days. If you want to be a successful abuser in that context, it’s just critical that you isolate your victim from friends and family that can help her understand what’s wrong with the way you treat her. (Control and manipulation are best used very early, before anyone becomes concerned for her wellbeing.) But really, it’s just not fair, because if you don’t marry an easily controllable woman, how can you expect to have a good birthrate or to keep her constrained in the marriage? All of the women should just be better at accepting their husband’s obvious superiority. You did fine: if she didn’t like your ass hat ways, that’s totally not your fault at all.

 

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1 hour ago, Pammy said:

In case you want a laugh, here's my "translation" of that whole block of comments...

  Hide contents

Eric: “I got married to an intelligent normal woman who expects to be treated with normal human dignity. I’m an amateur religious babbler who thinks I’m better than her. We got into a fight about the legitimacy of her equality and dignity in the family – but I’ve just never believed in that and I’m never going to. The final straw was when she refused to shut up and let me teach our children about her inferiority. Only 4 people think I’m doing the right thing here. She has control of some of our shared assets, and she doesn’t want to live with me anymore. I’m just so proud of my pride and self-assurance. I’d rather wallow in this mess of my own making than admit that God has created all of humanity on an equal footing.”

Jilly: “Ooooh. Good for you! Keep being an ass. I bet our ‘God’ will brainwash her into believing in your marital superiority in no time! After all it worked on me.”

Jesse: “Poor you. What suffering! No man should have to put up with a normal woman moving on from a relationship with a man they used to love, and later tolerated. There must be very few women willing to deal with the kinds of indignities we think we are entitled to hand out. After all, I just don’t know any women like that, but I know lots of ass hat men whose wives have left them just like yours. Hang on though, when God judges their lives, I’m sure he will punish these independent women and vindicate all of the ass hat men. I hope our ‘God’ brainwashes her instead of punishing her, because that would make your life so much nicer in the meantime.”

A disciple, “You’re just the kind of misogynist we severely lack in the UK. Please contact me so I can recruit you for our ‘ministry’.”

Meg: “Hey, so, how did you miss the signs of her high view of herself? Didn’t you say she had already chose to get an education? It’s pretty obvious you shouldn’t have married her in the first place with two big red flags like that! I mean, she’s obviously in the wrong, but why are you the one in the car? That sounds so beta. I suggest storming around and bullying your wife and kids out of the home instead. After all, she might accept her inferior status if you threaten to make her and the children homeless over it.”

Trey: “Don’t be stupid Meg. Even the police won’t let him be that much of an ass hat. The idiots running our country seem to believe that it’s the abusive men who lose access to the family home when they start making threats like that. It’s almost like they consider her ownership rights equivalent to his, and won’t give him permission to commit crimes to get his own way. He has even lost the right to violently assault her and shame her – much less change the locks on property she owns.”

Also Trey: “Also, he’s not to blame for missing the red flags that this woman thinks she’s human and equal – lots of women just trick men into marriage. It’s not that both people fall in love an overlook some points of friction at first. In reality, the woman is not in love. She just fakes it for a decade or so, while having sex and conceiving children as a method to procure money from him. It’s after the kids that she stops faking: because single parenthood with an ass hat deadbeat ex was her goal all along. And, also, just shut up. You can’t criticize because you don’t have a penis. Nothing you say matters. Plus, you don’t matter to your husband either: so there.”

Meg: “Thanks! I totally agree that most women trick men into marriage in order to accomplish their goal of single parenthood with an ass hat ex – but I think the men make it easy by admiring intelligence in women when they shouldn’t. I know it’s compelling at first, but men should resist that attraction, because an intelligent woman is not going to put up with his BS for very long. When her patience runs out, he will find that her intelligence, used against him, will make it hard for him to get his way as their relationship is ending. I still think he should storm in and take ownership of the house by being a bully. I’m terrified of my husband’s anger. If he acted that way, I would instantly comply. If she doesn’t I guess our ‘God’ will have to be responsible to punish her as she works with the law to get a fair settlement of marital assets and custody. Eventually, maybe our ‘God’ will brainwash the kids instead, and that will hurt her by making the kids like their dad more than their mom. I don’t think I shouldn’t talk about this, but I’m only sharing thoughts I know my husband would approve of, so that makes it okay.”

Elias: “Meg, you are too stupid to know how stupid you are. Trey has successfully bullied his wife back into subordination and service. If you haven’t done the same thing, your advice is worthless. I admire Trey’s strategic abuse that he has shared in the past, and I believe him when he says women can’t be successfully corrected by reasonable methods. Just look at you. He told you to shut up, and here you are still talking. The man has already been hoodwinked by his wife. Since you share the same genitals as her, I don’t think he will take advice from you or any other woman seriously ever again.”

Meg: “You’re right. I know that my advice probably won’t be effective. I just think that he will feel better if he brings a full force of anger to the situation as one last stand. It will be better for his pride. I still think my thoughts are worth sharing because they are neither my own thoughts nor are they biblical. They are just things my husband says all the time to pre-intimidate me in case I ever think of ending things with him.”

Cody: “Yay Trey! Do you remember when men used to be able to freely bully and abuse their wives? No, neither do I because I’m not 70 years old, but I imagine it. All the time. I really like to imagine it. A lot. It sucks that domestic violence is illegal these days. I think men looking at marriage need to really be educated about the single-parenting goals of lying women these days. If you want to be a successful abuser in that context, it’s just critical that you isolate your victim from friends and family that can help her understand what’s wrong with the way you treat her. (Control and manipulation are best used very early, before anyone becomes concerned for her wellbeing.) But really, it’s just not fair, because if you don’t marry an easily controllable woman, how can you expect to have a good birthrate or to keep her constrained in the marriage? All of the women should just be better at accepting their husband’s obvious superiority. You did fine: if she didn’t like your ass hat ways, that’s totally not your fault at all.

 

Brava! Brava!

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Lori is now tweeting about the Duggar thing. Of course, it’s all lies and slanders, ya know. 

But, did Lori refuse to go on a vacation with Ken?

I gotta sneak into that chat room. 

750EDB14-FDBF-4390-873F-045792A808AA.jpeg

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1 hour ago, usmcmom said:

But, did Lori refuse to go on a vacation with Ken?

I gotta sneak into that chat room. 

I am convinced she is agoraphobic  or some kind of OCD (besides just being a jerk!) and conveniently uses "keeper at home" as an excuse:

In addition to this evidence (if it turns out to be true), we also know that: 

Always watches grandchildren at own her house, never at her kids homes (where presumably it would be easier because they have their own toys, beds, things, etc)

Last year when she hosted a couple friends for lunch (remember the meager salad fixings and two pieces of her special bread for three people?)  Lori said she the plan was to meet for lunch and she convinced her friends to come to her house instead because restaurants are far too "noisy"

She always talks about taking the exact same walk every single day (40 minutes....long....not 45 minute or an hour or 35...) 

 

Edited by SongRed7
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@SongRed7, I think you are right. 

Normally I would feel for anybody dealing with agoraphobia or anything related to anxiety, but with Lori my empathy goes out the window. 

She would insist any other woman, regardless of health or mental health concerns, get herself packed up and go where her husband wants her to go.  

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10 hours ago, onemama said:

Perhaps it has something to da-womans-place-is-where ting a book called "Jesus Feminist". That is an oxymoron in Lori's world, so I assume she must have talked about her at some point and not with kidness or any desire to understand Bessey's position.  

 

I read an article by Sarah Bessey , which excerpted from her book .  https://sarahbessey.com/christian-feminist/  I feel that she hit the nail on the head , concerning both Christianity , and feminism .  The Seneca Falls Convention  , whose Declaration of Sentiments   helped form the basis for first wave feminism  in the United States of America , was held in the Wesleyan Chapel .  And even though I have been dumping on the Church of the Nazarene , primarily for its doctrine of Christian perfection , I must in all farness give it credit for its support for women's equality , its over all fundamentalism notwithstanding .   http://www.holinesstoday.org/a-womans-place-is-where  

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The blog comments and Meg:  Sooo basically she called this dude out for not seeing the potential issues with the wife before they married and got a verbal smack down for it.  Women are deceitful.  Women can fool a man into anything and then change her spots after marriage. 

However...men are not deceitful.  Men cannot be prince charming while dating and turn into abusers after marriage...hmmm.  I'll have to sift to find the multiple comments from men on Facebook who have told women that they obviously didn't see the signs of a bad man when they were dating...that they made a poor choice and should have to live with it.  

Women are called to suffer.......

https://thetransformedwife.com/called-to-suffer/#comments

Can she possibly put the male of the species any higher on a totem?  

ETA:  Contradiction!!!!!!!  

Spoiler

Marriage.thumb.jpg.69cdedab7a20d088647c3e850314152e.jpg

 

Spoiler

1064997348_Marriage2.thumb.jpg.7fe6da5731b9111ba9034e48710340b9.jpg

 

Edited by Imrlgoddess
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7 hours ago, Imrlgoddess said:

Women are called to suffer.......

I went there... here are a couple of comments for you:

Quote

 It is very easy for me to tell another that they’re glorifying God by staying in a marriage where they suffer, but in so doing I am telling them to bear a burden I don’t.

Lori's reply:

Quote

It’s biblical, whether or not we share the burden of suffering or not. We base our lives on the Truth of God’s Word, not our experiences

Another comment, made by a concerned reader. 

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I find this post incredibly sad. I wasn’t going to comment but I keep coming back to it, thinking about it, and it grieves me each time I read it. To perpetuate that suffering within marriage is normal, right, and something that God might be calling you to is not what the Bible teaches – God does not want our marriages to be hardships! Yes, there are plenty of marriages that are troubled and yes, there is scriptural backing for a wife in a troubled marriage to be gentle, loving, kind, and prayerful for her husband in hopes of winning him to the Lord. But to state that a marriage which is hard, lacking, loveless, troubled, etc is part of God’s plan is not right. God does not call us to suffer in our marriage, He has not ordained that marriage be a hardship. Rather, He gives marriage as a joyful illustration of His relationship with the church. He gave us marriage so that a husband and wife can serve Him together with joy, walk together in love, and be one flesh – a unified team, following after God, blessed to belong to each other and to Him.

Yes, there are marriages – even Christian ones – that are troubled. Marriages are made up of two imperfect humans and when one, or both, of those people are not walking in the Spirit, things are going to be hard. Trials, tests, and temptations come. satan does his best to destroy Christian marriages and families because he knows their potential for furthering God’s kingdom. Rather than say a woman who is suffering in her marriage is being called by God to do so and tell her to simply, quietly endure it, we would be better to recognize it as the work of satan trying to destroy the marriage and encourage her to seek to restore the loving, God-honoring relationship her marriage is meant to be.

 

Lori's snippy reply:

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Please read 1 Peter 2 slowly and carefully, then proceed to 1 Peter 3:1-6. You will see that you are incorrect.

The arrogance..... She doesn't care. 

Her darling apostle Paul, whom she so loves to quote, calls the Church the Body of Christ. Each member is like a member of a body. Indispensable. If Lori cut her delete finger, she'd take some time off to put a band-aid on it so she could go back to deleting with another finger. If it got infected, she'd do whatever stuff she does with infections to see if she could cure it herself. But ultimately, if that finger didn't heal, she'd go see a doctor to have it examined and would seek a cure. 

When her digestive system was full of parasites, she sought medical care. When she had a tumor in her brain, she had surgery.  THIS is the way we are supposed to see ourselves as the church: a body. We stop and see to hurting parts. We seek to restore them to health. We support the parts that are weaker, giving them more honor. (1st Corinthians 12, starting at verse 12 for context) 

"God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25 so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it."

Lori Alexander is a horrible human being. Bitter. Cold. Heartless. What she teaches and supports is wrong and against Christianity.  I sure hope she's reading this and repents before it's too late. 

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One more thought: 

Lori is quick to point women towards 1st Peter 2 followed by the first 6 verses of chapter 3. But... one verse later, and look what husbands are told to do!!

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7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Why isn't she quoting that in response to Eric, Elias, Trey and other men?  There's no talk  in that whole passage about taking a wife over the knee and showing her who's boss... 

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Day #2 of "I call bullshit on that story"

Today we have how divorce causes mental illness.  From the all-knowing ladies in the chat room:

  • Parents divorced (father was a pastor) and it caused brother to join biker gang and sister to become lesbian. Another sibling turned to drugs and another slept around.   
  • Parents divorced and mom started sleeping around and dad started dating  women young enough to be his daughter. 

Maybe these families just had issues that had NOTHING to do with the divorce?  For all of their horror stories, I can give you twice as many about couples that didn't divorce (and maybe should have) that caused far more damage to the kids. I can also give you many stories of success.  I know an older lady who was abandoned and divorced from her husband when she was a yougn wife with 3 small children. The two boys both became outstanding doctors/fathers/husbands and the daughter became a successful nurse/mom/wife. They were a wonderful, generous, hardworking Christian family. 

What about the stories of the good Christian homeschooling families where the son became a shooter and killed the whole family and others?  Or "good" families that are intact and seemingly stable/decent, etc..and a child commits suicide? That happens too.  Or families like the Duggars or the Willis that have this shiny Christian image, but horrible things lie beneath the false veneer. 

Yeah, divorce can be awful for some no doubt it , but it can also be good under certain circumstances.  People can be very resilient and overcome a lot of different tragedies. Every situation is highly variable. So to say it's divorce that causes mental illness/acting out/all of society's problems is disingenuous. Life is way more complicated than that. 

Once again Lori is using scare tactics to make others toe her narrow line of what "success" in life looks like. 

 

 

 

Edited by SongRed7
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@onemama this happened on the blog as well. Someone told Trey that marriage isn't mean to be a punishment/sacrifice and he countered that and Lori agreed. It was in the context of if you should like the man you are courting or just accept the first "godly" man that asks you on a date. Trey and Lori felt that you should be 100% joyful and happy just be married and that affection/personality/looks/hobbies were not important. 

I don't know if this is a widely held fundie belief because it seems the Duggars and Bates are obsessed with their future spouses, not begrudgingly marrying them because they fit the mold and they are going to accept marriage as a punishment . . .

I think Lori is just projecting. She wanted to get married so accepted Ken's proposal despite the fact she admits she didn't like him. The next years of her marriage were full of conflict. So, she assumes that ALL women MUST marry men they don't like and face the conflict with submission and this MUST be what God intended for marriages. 

Trey is just a sick f*ck who wants women to be sex slaves and breeders instead of physical/emotional companions to their husbands. 

 

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Or there’s my great aunt and uncle. He was a psychiatrist and she was a SAHM. One daughter was institutionalized most of her life with schizophrenia. A second kept at home and treated more successfully by her father. She’s struggling since his death and not getting appropriate care. ( His fault partly for not getting a colleague to treat her from the beginning and not finding someone else as he aged—-and, yes, we’re all aware of the ethical problem with him treating her all those years. But it partially stemmed from dissatisfaction with the care their older daughter received). 

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I am gobsmacked that Lori of little understanding would tell anybody to read slowly and carefully. Bitch. She married a meal ticket, has never enjoyed sex (or even had an orgasm for that matter), is miserable, and now wants to believe that her misery makes her godly and will do the same for you. God wants us to be miserable, after all! This evil woman has made suffering an idol and has distorted the gospel so much that it is unrecognizable. There is no separate gospel for women. She hides behind not teaching men for never mentioning any scriptures telling them they must be kind and loving toward their wives. I really wish women would just stop dealing with this purveyor of misery, she is unbalanced and sadistic. I wish her followers would read the whole bible for themselves. It's dangerous to fall into Lori Alexander's egomaniacal trap. I detest her so much.

Edited by SilverBeach
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52 minutes ago, rayneflower said:

So Lori's Twitter today:

'I teach biblical womanhood' 

But if you teach the bible, it also tells you not to judge people, Lori 

So true.

 

Further, 'biblical womanhood™" is NOT mentioned in the Bible.  Salvation is in the Bible. Healing is in the Bible. Deliverance from evil is in the Bible. These are the Gospel (actual GOOD news). Biblical Womanhood?  Seems I don't recall Jesus speaking those words...

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2 minutes ago, ladyicantxplain said:

Biblical Womanhood?  Seems I don't recall Jesus speaking those words...

That's because it is some made-up fundy bullshit.

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6 hours ago, ladyicantxplain said:

'biblical womanhood™" is NOT mentioned in the Bible.

That use of the term "biblical" is very annoying.  Biblical=in the Bible, right? So that would include

- Eve, who listened to Satan

- Sarah, who laughed and then laughed again, but it still called the mother of corageous women (1st Peter 3)

- Rebekah, who wasn't condemned for seeing that Jacob, the younger twin, got the firstborn blessing

- Rahab, the prostitute, who was saved for helping the Israelite spies and got included in the genealogy of Jesus.

- Esther, who worked within the system to bring down an evil man

- Ruth, who worked outside of the home

- Abigail, who called her husband a fool and went behind his back. We find no condemnation poured on her.

- Jezebel: Wicked woman married to a wicked man. Not a preacher. 

- Mary, the mother of Jesus, who was chosen to bear Jesus and accepted the task without previously consulting her father or her betrothed (basically, husband)

- Mary, Salome, Martha, etc.. who supported Jesus in his ministry

- Sapphira, who wasn't let off the hook when she told the same lie as her husband. She may have been "submitting".

- Phoebe, who was a deacon

- Lydia, the dealer of purple, who hosted the church in Thyatira

Etc... it seems like all that submission, obedience and homemaking was flexible back then. Women have always been resourceful and done what they had to do. It seems to me like God rewarded their faithfulness to HIM and Jesus praised their devotion to HIM.  

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@onemama I shouldn’t get started on their use of that word. I’ll make it brief but here’s a list of ridiculous things I heard it applied to at Christian school (basically put it in front of everything listed): nail polish colors, methods to teach cursive, classroom rules, professional foot wear for staff, homecoming themes, reason to do math with a pencil not a pen, recess, hairstyles, approach to snow days  and the list goes on. And on and on....

And it takes an absolutely mind numbing ability to twist scripture out of context and into knots to make anything on that list biblical or not biblical. 

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10 hours ago, ladyicantxplain said:

So true.

 

Further, 'biblical womanhood™" is NOT mentioned in the Bible.  Salvation is in the Bible. Healing is in the Bible. Deliverance from evil is in the Bible. These are the Gospel (actual GOOD news). Biblical Womanhood?  Seems I don't recall Jesus speaking those words...

This might shock Lori, but PAUL didn't speak those words, either. :my_dodgy: Paul, who is more important in Lori's mind than Jesus, never said a word about Biblical Womanhood. 

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I think Lori loves the proverbs 31 women so much, aside from her working outside of the home, because they are so much alike. They both were “keepers” of the home by staying home and overseeing the help. Problem is most people can’t afford help and need to work. Even if they are able to stay home they still can’t do everything. My dad worked two jobs and still found time to be there for all of the big moments and help out around the house. Once my siblings and I were old enough we started helping as well. Children can’t do everything but most parents can’t either. 
lori loves Titus 2 because she can use it as an excuse to spread her evil. Nowhere in the Bible does it say what qualifies as a godly older women. I would assume that a godly older women is someone who is mature in her walk with the lord, could be someone as young as 40’s IMO. Someone who has been married for a while, if she shares marriage advice. Someone who has lived life by going through trials, if she shares about those. Someone who has studied the word, all of it. Someone who knows you look at the scripture as a whole not just part. And the most important is someone who lives their life like Jesus. Donating to the poor. Loving your neighbor. Rebuking people in godly love. Yes Jesus rebuked some one anger BUT those he rebuked in anger where ones that should have known better IMO. Lori is none of the above. I’d say she needs to learn from some godly older women but unless they preach word for word what she does she won’t listen and call them wrong. 

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Apparently, 'Saint Lori' thinks we shouldn't nag our husbands... 

 

Sorry Lori, that's my favorite thing to do ?‍♀️ 

I still love my husband, I still make sure that everything is took care of, but I nag him all the time. Especially when I need him to unload the dishwasher  

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3 hours ago, Lgirlrocks said:

lori loves Titus 2 because she can use it as an excuse to spread her evil. Nowhere in the Bible does it say what qualifies as a godly older women.

Well, whatever a godly woman is, it ain't our Lori, that's for sure.  Look at her. Do you want to be like her? 

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19 hours ago, rayneflower said:

So Lori's Twitter today:

'I teach biblical womanhood' 

But if you teach the bible, it also tells you not to judge people, Lori 

That is actually not as straightforward as people might think .  https://skepticsannotatedbible.com/contra/judge.html  Now that that's out of the way , here's a list of biblical ways to find a woman to marry .  https://www.wscal.edu/blog/16-ways-to-find-a-wife-according-to-the-bible 

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