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Lori Alexander 73: Looking for Reading Comprehension, Empathy, or Self-awareness.

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usmcmom

On Lori’s Twitter feed, I have seem a couple of comments referring to Lori’s shaming of her granddaughter who was homesick and/or crying for her mother. Dows anybody have a link or screenshot of Lori’s words on this?

Evidently it was just before she made a post talking about homesickness but I don’t recall it at all. 

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Xan
16 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

On Lori’s Twitter feed, I have seem a couple of comments referring to Lori’s shaming of her granddaughter who was homesick and/or crying for her mother. Dows anybody have a link or screenshot of Lori’s words on this?

Evidently it was just before she made a post talking about homesickness but I don’t recall it at all. 

She was okay with homesickness herself (from another post) but she shamed her granddaughter for her fear.  Lori is such an ass.

Spoiler

503656579_Lori1.jpg.2d87af4fbdf7870a62810a6c17d09490.jpg1798800603_Lori2.jpg.f375330dc712b4fcf83494f997f21bed.jpg

 

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louisa05

OMG, that's just cruel. And why would they just walk ahead of a child when out like that? Who does that? You stop and wait for the child. And kids get homesick in situations like that. You comfort them, you don't belittle them or lecture them. 

Lori and Ken are assholes. And that's putting it nicely. 

 

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usmcmom

Thank you, @Xan, for filling me in.  

I am almost sorry I asked. 

My god! How do Lori’s kids continue to leave their children with her? 

I wish Erin would take this as a sign that she is leaving her children too much. Maybe she and Ryan need to stay home with their own kids for a while. Not that that would necessarily be better, with Ryan being such an ass. But the child clearly wants more time with her mother. Lori would never give a pass to another mom who left her kids so often, yet she has Erin’s kids A LOT. 

And why does Lori have to turn everything into a shaming moment for her grandkids?  Imagine the memories those poor kids will have of time at Grandma Lori’s house. It kind of seems like Lori sets these kids up to “lose it” so she can scare them, shame them and punish them. 

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wallysmommy

I love the doodle with the "older" mother and the son getting ready to get married.  I would like to hear how old these two were -- was she 70 and he was 50 -- that violates the get married young for him.  Was she 40 and he was 20 -- then why does he refer to her as older?  It's just a stupid, stupid doodle.  It's like the old Andy Griffith shows where the woman who looked like she was 75 had a 10 year old son.

Her older woman schtick fits her, not me.  I would love to have her side by side and have people guess how close in age we are.  I'm 2 years younger than she is and look 20 years younger if I do say so myself :).

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onemama
9 hours ago, Xan said:

She was okay with homesickness herself (from another post) but she shamed her granddaughter for her fear.  Lori is such an ass.

When she's old and needing someone to comfort her, this granddaughter of hers might just decide to teach her grandma a lesson on controlling her emotions.  

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Unimpressed
delphinium65
13 hours ago, louisa05 said:

OMG, that's just cruel. And why would they just walk ahead of a child when out like that? Who does that? You stop and wait for the child. 

I'm not at all sure that the child's fear of being left alone was false.  Leaving her, and letting her wander around lost, is the kind of cruel, heartless 'teaching' that Lori loves.  I strongly suspect that the grandchild has learned that she can't trust grandma, and that her fear of abandonment is unfortunately very reasonable.  

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Xan

There's something cold, heartless, and hateful about providing this sort of "lesson" to a child.  I understand that fundies don't have a monopoly on this behavior but we do see more fundie families who are all about teaching "God's lessons" through their own type of tough love.

I wonder if they become so proud of themselves for being extra Christiany that they start to think everyone is beneath them.  When you stop feeling empathy, you start being heartless.  

It's also possible that this grandchild isn't exactly one of Lori's favorites.  (I had one grandmother like this.  She just didn't like me.)  I do hope that her parents stop leaving her over there.  If Erin and Ryan ignore the little girl's feelings about it, they're just as heartless as Lori and Ken.

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rayneflower

So her tweet this morning said to nip temper tantrums immediately. Saying to many adults are having them. 

So you want to engrain in a child that their feelings are invalid and their emotions dont matter? 

Lori hate to break it to you, I'm in my mid 20s and still have a tantrum now and then. It's the only thing that resets my emotions. THEY HELP!! 

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kmachete14

The temper tantrum thing always amazes me . . . like isn't it just a thing you grow out of when you start to gain more pre-frontal cortex skills or something? 

I threw temper tantrums at my house for years. My parents spanked me, locked me in my room, grounded me, you name it. None of that "taught" me anything and honestly I didn't stop until I just seemed to grow out of it and realized nobody cared if I was really mad, and the best thing to do was play along and figure out a solution on my own, and that I needed good friends to vent to. 

I never threw them in public or with anyone besides my parents past the age of like 4 because I would feel embarrassed about my behavior in public. 

If I have a child that's anything like me, I know that I will just have to deal with temper tantrums and reassure my child I'm doing my best . . . do we have any solutions we can come up with together if the tantrum is in response to something subjective . . . and what activities help calm angry emotions even if the source of anger can't be removed . . . 

"Nipping it in the bud" won't work on a kid as hell bent on their version of justice as I had!

 

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delphinium65
18 minutes ago, kmachete14 said:

The temper tantrum thing always amazes me . . . like isn't it just a thing you grow out of when you start to gain more pre-frontal cortex skills or something? 

When my children were old enough to start temper tantrums, I told them that they could ask for anything they wanted, and we could discuss it, but if they threw a fit, then whatever it was would be completely out of consideration.  That tactic actually worked!  I honestly don't know if it would work for most kids, or if I was just lucky, but no spanking for temper tantrums was necessary.  It had a side effect of my kids learning to come up with persuasive arguments in favor of whatever it was they wanted,  Of course, they didn't always get their way, but at least they knew I had listened to them, and given their wishes consideration, before saying no.

Again, I'm definitely not saying my way was necessarily the perfect way to handle things, or how well it would (or wouldn't) work for other children.  I'm just saying that Lori's way is absolutely not the only way, no matter how hell-bent she is on pushing it on everyone!  

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onemama
6 hours ago, Xan said:

There's something cold, heartless, and hateful about providing this sort of "lesson" to a child.

I think she's looking at her grandchildren through the lens of her understanding of a few verses in Proverbs.  In her eyes, that child needs to be "trained".  But "training" can mean so many different things! I train my kids to brush their teeth, put their clothes in the laundry (by not washing them if they don't!), etc... I never would have walked away while my 8-year-old daughter was putting her sweater on at the park. She didn't like me to leave without her.

4 hours ago, rayneflower said:

So you want to engrain in a child that their feelings are invalid and their emotions dont matter?

I think it was John Townsend (a Christian psychologist) who said that holding a very young child during a fit of crying is the best way to communicate "you can trust me. I can handle this", which in turn will help that child trust God in the future.  It makes sense. 

It's no wonder children raised in such homes don't trust God to love them when they've messed up, walk away when they start having doubts, or worse, build up such an impenetrabe facade, they don't even know themselves who they are. 

4 hours ago, rayneflower said:

her tweet this morning said to nip temper tantrums immediately. Saying to many adults are having them. 

But then she praises Anna Duggar for forgiving her adulterous husband. You'd think that creating an account on a site for adulterous relationships would be worse than losing it emotionally.

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rayneflower

Her latest Tweet is telling people it's their problem when they are judged by her, and saying she laughs at it.... 

 

 

Lori, you constantly are judging people and make women feel like absolute garbage... 

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QuiverFullofBooks

I have no intention of following this horrible, horrible woman. I’m just dropping in with a quick question. My church book club just read Sarah Bessey’s new book, and I searched FJ to see if there was any discussion of her. Is there a reason why she only comes up in the Lori threads?

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louisa05

@Xan My paternal grandmother didn't like me and didn't want me around. My parents never left me with her. When they went somewhere else when we visited (grandparents lived in another state and sometimes my parents went out with old friends or something), they packed my brother and I both off to aunts and uncles instead of leaving us there. 

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Marmion
On 11/18/2019 at 5:56 PM, Xan said:

She was okay with homesickness herself (from another post) but she shamed her granddaughter for her fear.  Lori is such an ass.

  Hide contents

503656579_Lori1.jpg.2d87af4fbdf7870a62810a6c17d09490.jpg1798800603_Lori2.jpg.f375330dc712b4fcf83494f997f21bed.jpg

 

In addition to what others commented , this falls under emotional control .  

Quote

1. Manipulate and narrow the range of feelings – some emotions and/or needs are deemed as evil, wrong or selfish 
2. Teach emotion-stopping techniques to block feelings of homesickness, anger, doubt  

 

http://old.freedomofmind.com/Info/BITE/bitemodel.php#emotional   So , needless to say , Lori Alexander is acting as a cult figure . 

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usmcmom

Lori’s daughter-in-law, Emily posted a couple of pictures of her little boy getting his first haircut. Like many children, he is crying during the appointment. 

What would Lori’s reaction have been if she had been in that salon and witnessed this from a child she didn’t know? I wonder if this is why she posted about temper tantrums. Or is this another time where her rules don’t apply to others? 

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onemama
8 hours ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

My church book club just read Sarah Bessey’s new book, and I searched FJ to see if there was any discussion of her. Is there a reason why she only comes up in the Lori threads?

Perhaps it has something to do with Sarah Bessey writing a book called "Jesus Feminist". That is an oxymoron in Lori's world, so I assume she must have talked about her at some point and not with kidness or any desire to understand Bessey's position.  

 

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Petronella

In the previous thread, @SuperNova quoted a comment that fascinated/horrified me. It didn't really get discussed, so I'm bringing it here.

From https://thetransformedwife.com/does-female-rebellion-weaken-men/

Comment thread in the spoiler because it's long. It's the sob story from poor commenter Eric who is reaping the terrible consequences of marrying a feminist (or "of being an asshat." Potato, potahto). The phrase "unbeknownst to me I married a feminist with two high level degrees" makes me cackle. I'm guessing he means that he didn't realise she was a feminist, but the two degrees maybe should have given that away? Or just, y'know, her general self-respect? But it also kind of reads like he was surprised to discover he married her at all, which cracks me up ;-D

In his sad tale, he was "pastoring" and "started to teach on this topic" (womanly submission) and she told him she would start submitting when he got as many degrees as she has (I assume this was a sarcastic rejoinder but he seems like he might be taking it literally).

Good on her for telling their kids they don't need to obey his garbage views. He's now living in his car and has exactly four friends (who exactly was he "pastoring"??).

Read on for bonus bloviating by Trey! Boldings by me.

Spoiler

Eric says:

November 7, 2019 at 5:50 am

Dear Lori,
I just woke up to pray in my car, where I have been sleeping because unbeknown to me I married a feminist with two high level degrees who told me she won’t submit to me until I get two degrees. She has mental issues. I was pastoring and she set out to destroy me when I started teach on this topic. I’m not weak, and I refuse to let her break me. She was only taught how to get a education and overrule men. It’s been the worst 10 years of my life, but it never broke me. My faith is in the word of God. These women are evil and mean.

Telling our children they don’t have to listen to me, when I teach them the word and how to be godly adults. Because of her, everyone has forsaken me but 4 people. She refuses to give me any of our money which she transferred into another bank with just her name on in. I’m saying this to say, you are on point and here is some of their ugly fruit. Thank God I knew I was a good man, and I refuse to bow down the enemy. I would rather sleep in my car and not eat, just to be free from that controlling spirit. The story that I have, they are crazy.

Reply

 Jilly says:

November 7, 2019 at 7:23 am

Eric, you are a very strong man, (like my dear Hubby) keep your strength in our God and never give up! God can change the hardest of hearts! If it is okay I will put you in my prayer book so I remember to pray for you and your children and wife!

Keep the faith dear man – keep the faith! Our God is able to turn bad to good!💙💙💙

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 Jesse says:

November 7, 2019 at 10:48 am

Eric I am saddened by your story, no man should be treated in this manner. “An excellent wife who can find?” Proverbs 31:10. The answer is not many or perhaps even very few. I’m terribly sorry you have to suffer in this way. I have family members who have had their lives ravaged by our feminist society in similar fashion. These afflictions we face are light and momentary compared to the weight of glory that awaits. Look to Christ and take not your eyes away from him. He will return and he is bringing his recompense with him, repaying each for their deeds. I pray your wife will repent and flee from her rebellion. May God bless you Eric

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 A disciple says:

November 7, 2019 at 11:11 am

Dear Eric,

We are in the UK but we would like to be in touch to assist you with your need and share the Word of God. Could Lori forward this email to you: [email protected]

Stay close to your Father – He will avenge Himself of His (+your) enemies and honour you.

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 Meg says:

November 7, 2019 at 3:00 pm

Eric,
I’m sorry you are going through a rough spot. However, I can’t help but wonder if there were indicators of her behaviour before you married? If so, I struggle to muster up sympathy for you.

You’re wife is clearly in the wrong. If I was like that, my husband would sooner kick me out of the house and change the locks on the house than sleep in the car. I will pray for you and you’re family. But if she was this career minded, stubborn,manipulative and controlling before you married and you married her anyway, then it was a foolish move that you will pay the consequences for for years and generations to come. That does not mean you can run from it. Stand you’re ground in Christ and if she can’t stand the heat, she should get out of the kitchen so to speak.

Tell her, ‘this is my house, regardless of my education, and my rules. It will not change unless directed by God. Either conform, or there’s the door, come back when you change you’re mind.’ and leave it at that.

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Trey says:

November 7, 2019 at 3:58 pm

Meg,

Are you really that naive?

You say “If I was like that, my husband would sooner kick me out of the house and change the locks on the house than sleep in the car.”

If he did that his wife would call the police on him and big daddy government would come with their guns and throw HIM in jail and it would all work against him even more when she divorced this “unloving”, “hateful”, “cruel” man for what he did to this “poor innocent woman”. It happens every day.

The deck is stacked WAY against men in this gynocentric world and men are in a no-win situation with virtually ZERO tools to combat this type of out-of-control woman. 100 years ago he could have turned this Jezebel over his knee and paddled her bottom and most would have applauded him for doing it but nowadays if a man even looks at his wife wrong, he will find himself with a restraining order against him and the court kicking him out of his own home.

You say “But if she was this career minded, stubborn,manipulative and controlling before you married…”

Seriously!?! No man would marry a woman like that. Women lie and are some of the most deceptive and manipulative creatures on this earth! Many of them are award winning actresses that never get on film, they just do whatever it takes to get that ring on their finger and a child support payment (or two) on the ground and THEN their true colors began to come out. Jekyll and Hyde!

And for the record, Eric did not ask for your sympathy. There might of been some things he could have done differently but frankly you (as a woman) are NOT the one to be telling him that. You should be ashamed of yourself for being disrespectful and kicking this man when he is down. It is not your place.

If your husband is half the man that you make him out to be and he saw what you wrote up there he would tell you the same thing.

Reply

Meg says:

November 7, 2019 at 6:32 pm

Trey,

Thank you for your input.

I am fully aware of what women are like and it’s shameful. And yes, they can be deceitful. I am disgusted by such behaviour. However it’s not entirely uncommon for men to think it’s wonderful marrying an ‘educated’ woman. But overtime the woman becomes arrogant with her knowledge and affirmation from peers and morphs into a beast at home, blinded by feminism. I am aware of that.but does this mean he sleeps in the car for the rest of his days to avoid the wrath of his sinful wife? By doing so does this confirm in his children’s minds that daddy has no authority? There has to be a line drawn somewhere.

If she chooses to leave rather than obey his God given leadership. It’s her choice that she will have to answer for. Could there be legal ramifications? Yes.but the question is, who do you fear more? God, or man? If he acts in a way that honours God, while she may get everything, children,house, car etc. It’s earthly possessions. God is in control and as long as we honour Him she will eventually be exposed and come to ruin and the kids will be drawn to daddy. While she becomes a bitter, lonely old wretch. He may not of asked for sympathy but by posting about his woes he had to of been aware in a site geared towards women he was bound to get it. As for teaching a man? We’re men surrounding him encouraging him to stand his ground as head of his home? I didn’t see it. He’s not forced to agree with me however I don’t usually give my thoughts on topics like this. I leave it to my husband. Had he been here, his only gripe would be it came from my mouth, not from his. I appreciate your words.

Reply

 Elias says:

November 8, 2019 at 12:11 pm

Meg,
about 97% of the people I talk to think they have above average common sense. Why? Metacognition! Those who lack sense, don’t have enough sense to realize it.

Have you ever turned around a rebellious wife in this culture? Trey has. Trey, a very intelligent and wise man has told you to stop foolishly trying to tell this man what to do, after the original post also tried to tell you to stop trying to lead men. So, did you wise up and pipe down? No when you got corrected you doubled down on your foolishness and tried to even implicate your husband as being as foolish as yourself. But yet you assume that this man’s evil wife will respond in some wiser way when she is corrected, as though this wicked woman will somehow have so much more sense than you that she will know to respond with meekness and humility. LOL

And if, due to his wife, he is living out of his car, can you not grasp that he already realizes he married a poor choice, every single miserable hour he spends in that car? There is no way she would have ever led him to believe she would be this way, and that he would have signed on for this. He got misled by trusting a woman. Hopefully he has been burned enough not to take marriage direction from yet another woman.

 Meg says:

November 8, 2019 at 2:55 pm

Elias,
There is no guarantee she will turn around. But that does not release him of responsibility before God. Additionally, he also made an unwise choice before marriage. He’s not the only one. As for teaching men, I am not to teach men scripture. I used no scripture in my comments. I affirmed what I’m sure he already knows is his position. As for implicating my husband, I’m only repeating what Ive heard him say many times before.

 Cody says:

November 8, 2019 at 6:11 am

Excellent job, Trey.

There’s a concept called putting a woman in her place. That implies enforcement whether light or severe. It used to be a laudable practice. Now with women having cultural, social, and legal leverage over men, men cannot do this anymore without severe risk of convictions of domestic violence.

It never occurs to these people that women lie and throughout history they have been known for it. It is also possible that a woman can change for the worst after marriage, in many cases today, the reason is wicked companions or influences. If men try to restrict their wives’ associations he will be called controlling or manipulative.

It’s ridiculous how these people complain about the marriage rates and birthrates falling while at the same time, they put severe pressure on the collective of young men need to man up and get married. Then when these young men do get married to women who are not good wife material they try to put all the blame on him.

Eric, you deserve better. You are a man who I have no doubt have done a fine job as a father. I have a prayer group at my church I will add you to it.

Reply

 

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Lgirlrocks

I read the blog post and I’m calling b.s. my mom was a stay at home mom during the week. I knew she cared for my siblings and me. We made our own lunches, usually a sandwich. We also made our own breakfast, usually just cereal or oatmeal. If we asked our mom to make us something she would. At 12 years old this kid should have been in bed by 10:30 and had made his own food for the day OR, crazy thought I know, his dad should have made him lunch when he stopped home from work. Dads can help taken care of the kids too. My mom worked on the weekends, you know so we could see our dad between his two jobs and still have a roof over our heads. My dad made sure we ate and took us to our practices or games. He couldn’t cook much but he always made sure we had food. He even helped my mom with laundry, raising kids, dinner, dishes, and school work. It wasn’t expected of him he just wanted to do it. Shame on this “anonymous” dad for not helping out. 905125E8-771D-49F0-8CB4-A27032268769.thumb.jpeg.8b7814c7bba476bbc19b6ddf36a44f40.jpeg

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SongRed7

About that sob story on Lori's FB post today. I have a hard time believing that ever happened. I believe it's another installment from Lori's Evil Feminist Bedtimes Tales TM

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onemama

@Petronella, wow... those comments! Why is Meg still engaging those men? Can't she see that they don't view her as a human being worth listening to?  Any woman who stays on that site has no self-respect left. 

Has anyone taken screenshots of those comments?  

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Petronella
43 minutes ago, SongRed7 said:

About that sob story on Lori's FB post today. I have a hard time believing that ever happened. I believe it's another installment from Lori's Evil Feminist Bedtimes Tales TM

Oh, blech. What whining.

Yes, PARENTS (not just moms) should be there for their children. Yes, even teens need to feel listened to and looked after. But all this hand-wringing over a 12-year-old alone on a Saturday afternoon!

The standout quote to me:

”Ben is capable of making a sandwich, or a pizza, or some such, but he hasn’t and he shouldn’t have to. He has a mother.”

If my 12-year-old sat, hungry, for over TEN HOURS, refusing to even pour milk on a bowl of cereal or spread peanut butter on bread, I’d be a lot more worried about HIM than about his mother. Sounds like his dad’s point of view has taught him to be helpless around “women’s work.” Yikes, yikes, yikes.

Adding link: https://thetransformedwife.com/she-wasnt-there-for-her-son/

 

Edited by Petronella

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Koala

I won't lie- if this story is true (highly questionable, because Lori Lies A LOT Alexander is telling it), I think that it was too many hours and too late for a 12 year old to be home alone.  I wouldn't have been comfortable with that.  

Several things stand out as exceptionally odd, to me.  

- Dad went into work in the morning (presumably), but didn't get home until 10:30 at night?  Calling shenanigans on that.  How many hours a day does this guy work?

- Dad came home for lunch, but didn't notice that his son didn't have lunch?  So did he just eat in front of him & leave?

- Dad knew the child was home alone, but never called to check in to make sure he was okay/mom was home?  Nope.  Doesn't sound right.  

-Son never contacted either parent to ask when someone was coming home & what was for dinner?  Nope, nope, nope. 

It's not even 10 A.M. where I am, and both of my teenagers have already checked the menu on the fridge to see what's for dinner.  

-12 year old in a house with food goes from noon until nearly mid-night without eating?  Nope, again.  He may have wanted fast food (which is fine), but I don't believe for a minute that he'd gone all day without eating.  It may have been junk food, but there's no way a 12 year old with easy access to food is going to go hungry.

- 30 year old just happens to stop by after 10:30 P.M. w/ fast food?  Really?  I mean come on....

All of this to say, I think the whole story is bullshit.  I don't know if Lori is just lying because that's what she does, or if some MRA lied to Lori because he knows she's dumb as a brick, and would run to the internet with his tale (and I do mean tale) of woe.  Either way, I call lies....all lies.

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kmachete14

Her story isn't even a story about an evil feminist doctor mother. It's just two parents who aren't communicating effectively. 

If one parent was going to be late, they should notify the children and the spouse of the situation! 

I was babysitting my four younger siblings at the age of 12 -- putting them to bed and making dinner (mac n cheese, frozen pizza, etc) at that age. @Petronella i think youre right about the son not being taught basic "women's" skills

It's not unheard of for once in a while a 12 year old to be home alone until 11pm. 

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