Lori Alexander 73: Looking for Reading Comprehension, Empathy, or Self-awareness.

[Pink Muffin]

Here is from Lori, this is totally  kind of dig for Sheilas blog.  Of course Shaun has to wave his penis mansplain and answer for Lori

Spoiler

 

[Hane]

Hey, Lori—there are many Christian churches in which the word “obey” has never been a part of the marriage vows. Mine was one of them.

[Imrlgoddess]

Laura Ingalls Wilder refused to say it back in 18-whatever.  She had Almanzo find a preacher who did not use the word "obey".  Neither her mother or father said anything negative about it.  The Roman Catholic Church introduced the standard marriage vows in the mid 1500's.  Various religious sects over the years have adjusted the vows accordingly.  I didn't have Christian weddings so I never said those particular vows.  I also never married inside a building....I figured if God's gonna see it....she's gonna SEE it.  

[SongRed7]

We already see how (once again Ken's words and Lori's for that matter). He was all "I told her about criticizing other teachers/she really loves women/is kind considerate, etc.."   He probably made her make that video where she was all "we are all going to be in heaven if we believe in Jesus, so don't let the divisions divide us"  and today she back at it again nit-picking others, criticizing other teachers, bloggers, etc.. 

It's all empty words.  Just be honest and be your normal self-righteous selves. At least it would be more honest than the "golly, we are just misunderstood."

 

[Frog99]

12 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

Anyways, mini thread drift. Does anyone have any simple dessert ideas? I’ve been tasked with bringing a dessert for family Thanksgiving. I was thinking a French Silk pie but if anyone has any suggestions I’d love to hear it. We’re a big foodie family so I’d like to impress. 

It’s not fancy- but it’s a no fail classic- sour cream pound cake: https://www.pauladeen.com/recipe/grandmother-pauls-sour-cream-pound-cake/

I’ve also made a chocolate version. It’s rich and can be served with homemade whipped cream and berries, or ice cream. It’s the cake everyone asks me to make and it’s what my kids request as their birthday cakes. Foolproof and freezes well. I’m going to make regular and chocolate for Thanksgiving and freeze half of each for Christmas dinner. We have an ice cream shop local that makes their own ice cream- I might get some pumpkin and gingerbread pints. 

The fruit dessert sounds amazing too!

 

2 hours ago, Pink Muffin said:

Here is from Lori, this is totally  kind of dig for Sheilas blog.  Of course Shaun has to wave his penis mansplain and answer for Lori

  Hide contents

 

Ah yes. Shaun Cantu as a judge of what misses the mark and what doesn’t. You would think the fact that his wife left him and is engaged to someone else might suggest to him that his focus on submission is the wrong approach.  But what do I know? I’ve only been married for 20 years and my husband isn’t hung up on submission or being the leader or being in charge. 

[onemama]

Lori doesn't come across as rude and nasty. She IS rude and nasty.  She might be zealous for her understanding of a few verses of the Bible, but the apostle Paul calls her a clanging cymbal if she doesn't have love.  We've seen how she dismisses the plight of women in difficult or even abusive marriages, claiming that God has called them to suffer.  She allows her fanguys to blame the wife for all the trouble in a marriage. She allows them to insult the women who comment on her blog. But a couple of months later, she'll post a long and whiny post by a man whose wife is not doing as he would like her to, allowing all sorts of supportive messages for this man, and swiftly speaking against anyone who might try to question the man's response.  Why isn't he called to suffer? How come women are called to suffer irresponsibility, selfishness or poor behavior in husbands, but husbands are not called to suffer the same from their wives?   

Let's set the record clear, @Ken, Lori doesn't love women. She loves to provoke them and she actively facilitates abuse on her blog. 

[smittykins]

1 hour ago, Hane said:

Hey, Lori—there are many Christian churches in which the word “obey” has never been a part of the marriage vows. Mine was one of them.

In the Brady Bunch pilot episode, during the wedding ceremony, the(generic Protestant)minister had both Mike and Carol vow to “honor and obey.”  That’s the only time I’ve seen that used with both the bride and groom.(Yeah, I know it’s fictional, but I thought it was interesting.)

[Alisamer]

1 hour ago, Hane said:

Hey, Lori—there are many Christian churches in which the word “obey” has never been a part of the marriage vows. Mine was one of them.

What does Lori care what marriage vows say? She lied when she made hers. "Love" is a part of them, and she freely admits she did not love Ken. She didn't "obey" either - sabotaging her birth control to have another child against his will is just one example. She didn't start "obeying" or "submitting" until he basically made it clear he was only hanging around for the kids, and she realized once they all moved out she'd be high and dry if she didn't find another way to convince him to stay.

24 minutes ago, onemama said:

Let's set the record clear, @Ken, Lori doesn't love women. 

Lori doesn't love. At all. There's no love in her, and apparently never has been. She claims to love her husband and children now (after having to "learn" how to), but the fact is what she learned was how to say the right things when pushed. There is something broken in her brain or personality, and it's been that way long before her brain tumor. I've said before that I think we are lucky she is lazy. If she wasn't, who knows what kind of terror she could have wrought on the world!

[SuperNova]

@Sarah92 this is a tasty recipe if you like peanut butter. Ree Drummond has a similar recipe on the Food Network page but hers calls for Cool Whip. Just keep in mind that it's very rich and a small piece goes a long way. 

https://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/peanut-butter-pie-51192420

 

In the comment section of todays post, there's a response from Lori to Chris regarding the blogger she's calling out:

"We know the author of the blogger of whom you speak. We both tried for a long time to convince her that a wife’s submission and even obedience to her husband is mandated by God but to no avail. We were both eventually blocked by her but that’s okay. It’s her blog and she has the freedom to teach what she wants."

Edited November 25, 2019 by SuperNova

[kpmom]

4 hours ago, wallysmommy said:

Kinder, gentler Lori is a joke.  She can't suddenly change her sour nature.  Maybe if she tries too hard she will explode from all the pent-up rage inside her.

 

 

But, but, but, she's just soooo darned zealous for God and his truths!  Surely she can't be held accountable for anything she says, does, writes or puts on YouTube.  It's all that zealousness doncha know.  She's just full of it.  Zealousness, I mean.  Yeah, zealousness.

[TeddyBonkers]

*hides in shame* I cannot remember if "obey" was part of my marriage vows. Mr. B and I were wed at a justice of the peace and then had a church wedding almost 2 years later. Fun fact, for 7 years or so, my in laws only saw our "church wedding" pictures and thought it was a shotgun wedding, since I was quite obviously pregnant at our church wedding.

@Sarah92, try 2 can pumpkin pie. It is always a hit. 1 can pumpkin, 1 can sweetened condensed milk, 2 eggs, spices, 1 pie crust. THAT'S IT. I think the recipe might be on the can of Libby's sweetened condensed milk.

[Pink Muffin]

Sheila answered Lori

Spoiler

Wonder if Ken will be galloping in on his horse of truth to explain how all this is Loris way of showing love ?

[Sarah92]

@Frog99 what do you do to make it chocolate? Just add Cocoa? 

And thanks for the suggestions everyone! So many good ideas ?

[Sweet Caroline]

19 hours ago, Florita said:

It looks like the saga of the gold Mercedes has finally come to an end.

 

How will Lori convince us that she's the Queen-of-Frugality if she doesn't have an old Mercedes to wave under our noses?

 

 

I am sure the only reason that car lasted as long as it did is because it was made by a man. Don’t forget that women are incapable of making anything (unless it is a baby or a sandwich).

16 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

Yes that old car has definitely had maintenance. There’s no way it’s gone without a break pad change or something. And I’m not quite sure why she’d brag about something like that? There isn’t any shame in getting work done of your car. ? And even we’ll made things sometimes need repairs because shit happens. 

Although tbh I think craftsmanship has been lost to a degree within the world of fast fashion as I’ve discovered with my Walmart shoes....

Anyways, mini thread drift. Does anyone have any simple dessert ideas? I’ve been tasked with bringing a dessert for family Thanksgiving. I was thinking a French Silk pie but if anyone has any suggestions I’d love to hear it. We’re a big foodie family so I’d like to impress. 

A dessert suggestion that is also from the files of Paula Deen:  google her banana pudding. Soooo good!

[crawfishgirl]

Regarding the $50 electrical bill - I think it's possible under some circumstances.  I lived alone in a 500 sq ft apartment after I graduated college over 25 years ago, and I had other apartments on each side of me, behind me, and below me.  I live near the gulf coast, so we only have a few days a year when the temperature is below freezing, otherwise the winters are mild.  One winter, I only turned on the heat (which was electrical, not gas) twice during the entire season, and wore sweatpants and sweatshirts around the apartment.  My electrical bill was only $15 one month.  Yes, I know it sounds unbelievable, but it's true.  Even I was shocked when I received the bill.

Now I live in a larger house with my husband and two kids, and our bill is always much larger.  I can't imagine such a low bill now.  So I doubt that a large family can really get by on $50 bills without some major inconveniences/hardships, even in mild weather.

[sixcatatty]

20 hours ago, Florita said:

It looks like the saga of the gold Mercedes has finally come to an end.

 

How will Lori convince us that she's the Queen-of-Frugality if she doesn't have an old Mercedes to wave under our noses?

 

 

Wooly bully, Lori. Our 2000 CR-V has 300K miles on it. We paid a whole lot less for it than your Benz. We like it so well that we bought another one--in June of this year.

Oh yeah, the maintenance? Done by my husband except for an oxygen filter and something else I can't remember.

2 hours ago, TeddyBonkers said:

*hides in shame* I cannot remember if "obey" was part of my marriage vows. Mr. B and I were wed at a justice of the peace and then had a church wedding almost 2 years later. Fun fact, for 7 years or so, my in laws only saw our "church wedding" pictures and thought it was a shotgun wedding, since I was quite obviously pregnant at our church wedding.

@Sarah92, try 2 can pumpkin pie. It is always a hit. 1 can pumpkin, 1 can sweetened condensed milk, 2 eggs, spices, 1 pie crust. THAT'S IT. I think the recipe might be on the can of Libby's sweetened condensed milk.

My father-in-law married my husband and me 36 years ago next month. When we were talking about our vows, he grinned at me and said he wasn't even going to ask about including obey.

Edited November 25, 2019 by sixcatatty
Added a thought

[feministxtian]

If I remember right, our vows were to "love, honor and cherish"...then there was that whole "til death do us part" thing,..that was some bullshit right there. If Ken died, Lori wouldn't know what to do. She'd curl up in a minute. She's not strong enough. 

[Hane]

Because I suck at being a Godly Older Woman, I am bringing my prideful @$$ here to announce that my 41-year-old daughter, who works outside the home full-time the way all the women in our family do (or did before retiring), will be abandoning her 12-year-old *only* child to the tender mercies of his father so she can perform at a night club in NYC the day after Thanksgiving. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

There was no obey in the vows when Mr. Dress and I married. During our pre-wedding sessions,  the priest said up front he never put obey into the vows unless specifically asked by the bride -- and even then asked several times if she was sure and was it really her wish.

[rayneflower]

You don't have to 'obey' your husbands. You have to love them, cherish them, not obey them. You marry for love, you don't just marry to obey another person. 

 

I just love how Lori slipped that little 'We never almost got divorced' into the Twi-Lori this morning. Lori has openly said multiple times that Ken and her have nearly divorced before. She can't go back on her own history, she can't rewrite a chapter thats been published and all over the internet. 

Lori Alexander-Doesn't remember her own history. 

Ken Alexander- That could be a symptom of DEMENTIA!!! Get her to a actual hospital, throw the 'black salve' all her salad, all her 'organic' and 'natural' medication and get her some actual HELP. If she doesn't stop this bull shit, she is going to seriously hurt more people and more families. Take her to a neurologist, she obviously doesn't know how to care for herself! Tell her your taking her to Costco or Whole Foods with a unlimited budget. You may need help to, so maybe your children needs to get you to a hospital, and quick. It may be time for them to look at assisted living or a retirement community for both of them. Where they can be supervised! Lori, gasp, would be surrounded by women who have careers, who are mothers who are not 'keepers at home'. 

Lori, you need to stop this 2 face crap. You either need help, or Jesus. Probably both. 

[feministxtian]

1 hour ago, rayneflower said:

You don't have to 'obey' your husbands. You have to love them, cherish them, not obey them. You marry for love, you don't just marry to obey another person. 

I've never been very good at that whole "obey" thing anyway. When it came to my hubs, there were very few things he could "make" me do...well, aside from demanding I trade my car in because it was killing my back and having a few shit fits when I would refuse to seek medical care I probably needed. Those episodes were few and far enough between that I pretty much remember them all. The last one was when I screwed up my ankle and he sorta went apeshit because I hate doctors and am used to the bullshit runaround when I'm seriously injured. That one almost degenerated into a physical thing, he was threatening to shove me in the car whether I wanted to go or not. To be fair, that went both ways...we were both unbelievably stubborn people who managed to live together peacefully, well, most of the time. 

[onemama]

10 hours ago, SuperNova said:

"We know the author of the blogger of whom you speak. We both tried for a long time to convince her that a wife’s submission and even obedience to her husband is mandated by God but to no avail. We were both eventually blocked by her but that’s okay. It’s her blog and she has the freedom to teach what she wants."

Lori and Ken were allowed to post some very long screeds trying to defend their position. Sheila showed them a lot of grace!

Why did they try to convince her? how arrogant of them!  Humility is also mandated, as is loving your neighbor as you love yourself.  Lori and Ken don't love others as they love themselves. They don't care about the plight of the many women who try to convince them that they can't live as Lori says they ought to.   Lori and Ken aren't ready to have a civil discussion that includes showing some respect for the opposing view and those who hold it. Lori doesn't allow proper discussions on her blog, she just shuts people down, blocks them, edits or completely deletes their comments, gives snarky responses calling people out for their error... on we could go. 

Lori has the freedom to teach whatever she wants, but I'm very thankful that there are women like Sheila out there to remind women that God actually loves us.  Reading Lori's blog, you might come to the conclusion that women don't matter. 

There's only one place where the Bible talks about a wife obeying her husband,  1st Peter 3:6, and that is not a direct command to women.  

I promised to be submissive and not to lord it over my husband. I promised to follow his leadership... I have since told him that I had no idea what I was talking about. In heated discussions, we've thrown some harsh words at each other and I have definitely tried to talk him into seeing things my way. I've definitely taken initiative and I've not always followed his leadership. And I'm glad!  We've been married for nearly 17 years. We've both broken our vows, not by sleeping with someone else, but because we were naive when we made them.  We've both discovered that there's no formula that makes a marriage "heavenly". We still live on this planet earth, where things are not as they should be. Not yet! 

That said, I've placed myself in a secondary position in our marriage. I've fought against things that aren't right, and I've been defeated into accepting that that's just the way it is.  Along the way, I've learned very valuable lessons from my husband, not because I was "being submissive", but becuse those are the times when I've seen Jesus shining through him. We're imperfect, but we can be very good for each other. 

I don't like the vow "love, honor and obey" because a wife is not a child. A wife will find herself in positions where she has to break that vow, but she can always love, honor and cherish. She can even submit to her husband, as in (voluntarily) placing herself second and  honoring his needs, but I think that a man should also want to do this in marriage. There's not one place where men are commanded to lead or lord it over their wives. There's not one verse that commands that they exercise authority over their wives. 

This fixation on wives obeying their husbands is not healthy. 

 

[Frog99]

13 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

@Frog99 what do you do to make it chocolate? Just add Cocoa? 

And thanks for the suggestions everyone! So many good ideas ?

Here is the link: https://www.pauladeen.com/recipe/chocolate-sour-cream-pound-cake/

I have used cake flour and all purpose (mainly all purpose because I always have it on hand) and it turns out fine. 

I enjoyed the recs from everyone here- new ideas to add to my repertoire!

[SongRed7]

Another day, another tale of how a woman ruined her family.  Where is the part condemning the man for leaving his wife for another woman because she didn't produce enough male heirs for him.  Oh yeah...that was a woman's fault as well (his bad sister for suggesting the new woman). And of course the daughter of the "other" woman ended up divorced too because of the sins of her mother. 

You can read this heartwarming, Hallmark movie worthy story here: https://thetransformedwife.com/a-true-story-of-a-wifes-faithfulness-to-an-unfaithful-husband/?fbclid=IwAR2jVNMsRGvoSs9XxRUMumbWXoFqF-qhroM4R43dLsHJeaL6qfIeLoHxDtI

 

In all seriousness, I love to see how God can restore relationships (of all kinds-- not just husbands and wives, but friendships, sibling relationships, etc)....but Lori uses faith as a magic wand -- if you just do "this" thing (pray, persevere, become a perfect submissive wife with no thoughts or needs of your own,  become a 100 % self sacrificing martyr) it will all have a fairy tale ending.

This simply isn't true in most cases.  There are no guaranteed happy endings. These kind of stories reinforce a false narrative. And if it doesn't happen (restoration) what kind of message is that sending? You didn't pray hard enough? God doesn't love you enough?  This is spiritual abuse and blackmail. 

 

Edited November 26, 2019 by SongRed7

[Free Jana Duggar]

7 hours ago, onemama said:

Lori and Ken were allowed to post some very long screeds trying to defend their position. Sheila showed them a lot of grace!

Why did they try to convince her? how arrogant of them!  Humility is also mandated, as is loving your neighbor as you love yourself.  Lori and Ken don't love others as they love themselves. They don't care about the plight of the many women who try to convince them that they can't live as Lori says they ought to.   Lori and Ken aren't ready to have a civil discussion that includes showing some respect for the opposing view and those who hold it. Lori doesn't allow proper discussions on her blog, she just shuts people down, blocks them, edits or completely deletes their comments, gives snarky responses calling people out for their error... on we could go. 

Lori has the freedom to teach whatever she wants, but I'm very thankful that there are women like Sheila out there to remind women that God actually loves us.  Reading Lori's blog, you might come to the conclusion that women don't matter. 

There's only one place where the Bible talks about a wife obeying her husband,  1st Peter 3:6, and that is not a direct command to women.  

I promised to be submissive and not to lord it over my husband. I promised to follow his leadership... I have since told him that I had no idea what I was talking about. In heated discussions, we've thrown some harsh words at each other and I have definitely tried to talk him into seeing things my way. I've definitely taken initiative and I've not always followed his leadership. And I'm glad!  We've been married for nearly 17 years. We've both broken our vows, not by sleeping with someone else, but because we were naive when we made them.  We've both discovered that there's no formula that makes a marriage "heavenly". We still live on this planet earth, where things are not as they should be. Not yet! 

That said, I've placed myself in a secondary position in our marriage. I've fought against things that aren't right, and I've been defeated into accepting that that's just the way it is.  Along the way, I've learned very valuable lessons from my husband, not because I was "being submissive", but becuse those are the times when I've seen Jesus shining through him. We're imperfect, but we can be very good for each other. 

I don't like the vow "love, honor and obey" because a wife is not a child. A wife will find herself in positions where she has to break that vow, but she can always love, honor and cherish. She can even submit to her husband, as in (voluntarily) placing herself second and  honoring his needs, but I think that a man should also want to do this in marriage. There's not one place where men are commanded to lead or lord it over their wives. There's not one verse that commands that they exercise authority over their wives. 

This fixation on wives obeying their husbands is not healthy. 

 

Well said.  We are a pretty traditional family.   I do tend to defer to my husband's wishes, but he is also not an a$$hole.  He doesn't try to control or micromanage the family.  I pretty much do as I please, and he really doesn't care as long as he gets to eat and the bills are paid.  

The only real issue we've had is with our children. He got onto me for using the "I'm gonna tell your dad" thing and making him be the bad guy. 

I can respect that a husband is the head of the house. He just doesn't need to abuse his position.  If the wife is home, then let her run the house as she sees fit.