Andrea Mills 3: Still Buying Junk Food

[Olivia Marie]

28 minutes ago, Justsum1twothree said:

Yeah, it seems very strange at first glance. I used to think the same. I just chalk them up to realistic dolls now. There are a good amount of women who have them for different reasons. Some just like to collect the dolls, some use them to cope after a miscarriage, some that can’t have children, empty nesters, etc. The dolls actually come in different ages and some have eyes open, some look asleep. I happened upon learning about them years ago and it was interesting to me. Of course you never know why someone collects them unless they say though. It’s definitely one of those situations where I had a change of heart. I don’t have any and I’m not trying to say they replace a baby, but that it’s just some women’s thing and I think that’s okay.

Thank you for the information.     I had just never heard of them, or seen one.   I was horrified when I  watched the Mom and daughter changing diapers/clothes.  When they move them around they looked like little deceased infants.   They look so real, and so lifeless.   I always loved my baby dolls, but the reborns are so different.  

[OMG]

17 hours ago, Petronella said:

The truth is, people will like/love you for being kind and for the personal interactions you had with them.

I think people will remember you for what you did, not what you said. 

6 hours ago, Queen Of Hearts said:

This can be especially true if the oven is being used. 

LOL "the oven being used" (it's not funny tho)

If only that were true   

 

[Petronella]

1 hour ago, OMG said:

I think people will remember you for what you did, not what you said. 

I don't quite understand this distinction. I mean, if someone says one thing and does the opposite, then yes the doing matters more. But in many, many cases, saying IS doing (like encouraging someone).

And by replying to what I said (which you quoted) it sounds like you might mean "do" as in job, which makes me sad. I don't think my family and friends are more affected by my work than by our interactions.

Just not sure if you're agreeing or disagreeing!

[OMG]

16 minutes ago, Petronella said:

I don't quite understand this distinction. I mean, if someone says one thing and does the opposite, then yes the doing matters more. But in many, many cases, saying IS doing (like encouraging someone).

And by replying to what I said (which you quoted) it sounds like you might mean "do" as in job, which makes me sad. I don't think my family and friends are more affected by my work than by our interactions.

Just not sure if you're agree!ing or disagreeing!

Oh, I'm sorry, @Petronella, I was agreeing with you! And I also agree with you that the lines can be very blurry. I think I meant "do" as in putting your money where your mouth is kinda thing.

I mean, a father (ie Tom!) can tell his child that he loves her....but if father doesn't also demonstrate that love in some way, it can kind of ring hollow.

 Not sure if I'm expressing myself properly or making sense. lol We DEFINITELY agree that Tom is a world class asshole!  

Edited November 15, 2019 by OMG
more thinking

[WhatAlife]

10 hours ago, Queen Of Hearts said:

Small houses with tons of people tend to heat up higher than the thermostat is actually set at.  Think of being at a crowded Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas party.  This can be especially true if the oven is being used.  Also, depending on how the house is built and the placement/size of the furnace they may have to bear with the higher temp upstairs in order to get the downstairs heated to a comfortable level.  As much as there is to snark on Tom lately I can give him a pass on the house temp.  

I wish I could afford to keep the heat at that temperature in winter!! It would probably solve some of my winter blues! ? Mine is set to 68F  so upstairs is definitely warmer, gets probably near 72. But if kids complain I tell them that’s why god invented sweatshirts (jk)

Do they even have 2 levels? I know there is a basement, but are their bedrooms upstairs? 
 

 

Edited November 15, 2019 by WhatAlife

[Petronella]

4 hours ago, OMG said:

I mean, a father (ie Tom!) can tell his child that he loves her....but if father doesn't also demonstrate that love in some way, it can kind of ring hollow.

Totally get it! Makes perfect sense.

[sdjp123]

I haven't watched many of the recent videos that Tom has posted because I don't really enjoy listening to him alternate between pontificating and talking about how he (and only he) is grieving.

I did, however, watch the Halloween video and after that video it started playing Tom's birthday video. In this video we get a brief snippet of Tom helping Solomon with his school work and it seems quite scary to me.

Mind you, I don't have any children so I don't know exactly what a normal 3rd grade textbook would look like, but I do remember what kind of books I read in elementary school and have some samples of writing that I did.  The text in the Ace workbook that Solomon had was at a level that I know I would have been capable of writing in 2nd grade and  reading towards the end of 1st/beginning of 2nd grade.

Here is a partial transcription:

"God Gave Feathers"

"God gave special parts called wings to the birds. God gave other special parts to the birds also. God gave feathers to the birds. Feathers grow out of the skin of birds."

"Some birds have beautiful, colored feathers growing out of their skin. Some of the feathers are colored bright red. Some are colored bright blue. Some of the feathers are colored dark colors."

Am I correct in thinking this is way below what one would expect for a 3rd grade textbook? 

 

[HeadacheLife]

7 minutes ago, sdjp123 said:

 

Am I correct in thinking this is way below what one would expect for a 3rd grade textbook? 

 

(homeschooler here) Often times with homeschool curriculum like that, it is written below typical reading level so that the students can work independently.  In  perfect world they would work independently on the lesson and parent can follow up with more involved activity. I imagine language arts/reading would be more challenging.  I'm not saying this is the case here, but for example, we use a hard-core classical-education curriculum outline, but the science text was still k-4 for a student in grades 4-6 so they could do the reading on their own easily enough.  We then followed up on activities to enrich it, including pulling information out of supplemental encyclopedias and such. Andrea used to do experiments/labs  with them occasionally.  

Also, I've spoken to elementary public-school teachers and the amount of science students get these days is laughable due to having to teach to the test. I imagine because of all the reading the kids used to do (from the library trips) that the kids have a more advanced grasp on science compared to their public-school counterparts. That said - any gains they have will swiftly be lost if they don't continue enriching them at home.  I don't see Tom doing that. 

Not defending their curriculum choice (ACE is awful) but that's probably why it looks below reading level.  Think of it in terms of leveled readers. 

 

Edited November 15, 2019 by HeadacheLife

[justlooking]

20 hours ago, Sloth said:

It is so worrying, those kids need to be with people who care and will properly tend to their needs. I don't understand why none of the family is stepping in, Tom's mother watches the lives I think, so she is seeing baby Hannah going to bed hungry and neglected, why is she not saying anything or doing anything about it ?

I also worry about Eden in particular if Andrea's father (step father?) the registered sex offender has contact because Tom isn't going to bother to keep an eye on him around his children if he can't even tend to their basic needs properly.

You are exactly right - I watched this is horror - and also the thing that got me was he was gone literally SECONDS before he was right back at the table.  He must have thrown her in that bed and came right back.......No getting her snuggled in or taking a little time to calm her down.....Nothing.....

 

19 hours ago, HeadacheLife said:

His treatment of Claudia is what showed me true colors.  I mean,  I can see it all, but his tone when speaking to Claudia is just heartbreaking. He has no patience with her.  You can see she is testing her limits and seeking attention.  The licking thing is a nervous habit.  One of my children has struggled with this for years.  I honestly don't think that poor child knows that her mother is not coming back. 

This is so interesting about the licking thing!  I've seen several posts about this now and I never knew this was a nervous thing.  We'll see on the next video if she's still doing it.  I'm hoping it was a one time weird night or something.  Someone said she was coughing I think and I was hoping it was just a runny nose and bothering her.  I hope to God she doesn't have a nervous habit to add onto everything else she's going through.  Poor baby......

[LilMissMetaphor]

2 hours ago, sdjp123 said:

"God Gave Feathers"

"God gave special parts called wings to the birds. God gave other special parts to the birds also. God gave feathers to the birds. Feathers grow out of the skin of birds."

"Some birds have beautiful, colored feathers growing out of their skin. Some of the feathers are colored bright red. Some are colored bright blue. Some of the feathers are colored dark colors."

Am I correct in thinking this is way below what one would expect for a 3rd grade textbook? 

I mean, my 4th grader just came home with an assignment that asked him to research (just off the top of my head):

1) the battle of the Atlantic

2) the role of women in WW2

3) the homefront situation in WW2

I thought that was a little advanced, actually, but yeah, even last year, he was doing way more than talking or reading about feathers.

[justlooking]

19 hours ago, WhatAlife said:

He fishes for sympathy day in and day out talking about how lonely, lost and sad he is but he doesn’t think his daughter deserves compassion and kindness???

 

Wow, this really hit me.  He gets online and says he's having a horrible day and just needs to talk - yet what format is he giving his children to grieve?  Counseling?  No............

[Olivia Marie]

@Just Looking

It happens every single time with Hannah.  It hurts my heart ??

Edited November 15, 2019 by Olivia Marie

[HeadacheLife]

4 minutes ago, LilMissMetaphor said:

I mean, my 4th grader just came home with an assignment that asked him to research (just off the top of my head):

1) the battle of the Atlantic

2) the role of women in WW2

3) the homefront situation in WW2

I thought that was a little advanced, actually, but yeah, even last year, he was doing way more than talking or reading about feathers.

I think it depends on your district - ours doesn't even teach WWII.  I mean I knew about WWII - but it wasn't taught in a classroom until 8th grade and we never got to it in US History in High School. Not much has changed. 

[Olivia Marie]

3 minutes ago, justlooking said:

Wow, this really hit me.  He gets online and says he's having a horrible day and just needs to talk - yet what format is he giving his children to grieve?  Counseling?  No............

No counseling whatsoever, nothing.  He says repeatedly....the kids are fine.    They do not even receive compassion, kindness, understanding, or warm comforting love from him - their very own Dad.  I detest Tom with a passion.  The only person he cares about is himself.   He is useless!

[kesmom]

2 hours ago, sdjp123 said:

I haven't watched many of the recent videos that Tom has posted because I don't really enjoy listening to him alternate between pontificating and talking about how he (and only he) is grieving.

I did, however, watch the Halloween video and after that video it started playing Tom's birthday video. In this video we get a brief snippet of Tom helping Solomon with his school work and it seems quite scary to me.

Mind you, I don't have any children so I don't know exactly what a normal 3rd grade textbook would look like, but I do remember what kind of books I read in elementary school and have some samples of writing that I did.  The text in the Ace workbook that Solomon had was at a level that I know I would have been capable of writing in 2nd grade and  reading towards the end of 1st/beginning of 2nd grade.

Here is a partial transcription:

"God Gave Feathers"

"God gave special parts called wings to the birds. God gave other special parts to the birds also. God gave feathers to the birds. Feathers grow out of the skin of birds."

"Some birds have beautiful, colored feathers growing out of their skin. Some of the feathers are colored bright red. Some are colored bright blue. Some of the feathers are colored dark colors."

Am I correct in thinking this is way below what one would expect for a 3rd grade textbook? 

 

I’m a homeschooler and to me this reads like a pre-k book. It talks more about colors than actual science. (and I am EXTREMELY relaxed about science for my elementary aged kids)

[Olivia Marie]

@justlooking    Since Andrea passed away in August, Claudia has been doing the licking quite often.  It seems to always happen when she is beside her Dad.   In many of the Lives when they are around the table, she has licked his arms.  Whatever the reason is, it breaks my heart for Claudia.  She is like a little lost lamb.  I truly do not think Tom even likes Claudia.  He has repeatedly said things about little Claudia in front of everyone, inferring that she is the problem child of the family.  He is disgusting!!   Narcissistic monster   

Claudia constantly asks “Where’s Mommy.”    Tom is always so harsh and says “Mommy DIED, you know that.”   He says it as he completely ignores her and walks away.    He doesn’t even take her in her arms for comfort, explain that Mommy is in Heaven, etc.....only that she is DEAD.   BASTARD!!!!   I wish I could slap him into next year!

[HeadacheLife]

2 minutes ago, Olivia Marie said:

 

Claudia constantly asks “Where’s Mommy.”    Tom is always so harsh and says “Mommy DIED, you know that.”   He says it as he completely ignores her and walks away.    He doesn’t even take her in her arms for comfort, explain that Mommy is in Heaven, etc.....only that she is DEAD.   BASTARD!!!!   I wish I could slap him into next year!

Its heartbreaking.  The kids all need to be talking with someone about this. 

[justlooking]

1 minute ago, Olivia Marie said:

Claudia constantly asks “Where’s Mommy.”    Tom is always so harsh and says “Mommy DIED, you know that.”   He says it as he completely ignores her and walks away.    He doesn’t even take her in her arms for comfort, explain that Mommy is in Heaven, etc.....only that she is DEAD.   BASTARD!!!!   I wish I could slap him into next year!

YES!  THAT'S WHAT I WAS THINKING TOO!  Those are the perfect times that you sit down and hold her and explain heaven and Jesus and how much Claudia was loved by her Mommy and that hes there for her and loves her.........etc.....Hugs, let her cry.......Mommy Died,You know that!!!!!!   I saw that too. Infuriating......Absolutely infuriating........

[louannems]

8 hours ago, sdjp123 said:

I haven't watched many of the recent videos that Tom has posted because I don't really enjoy listening to him alternate between pontificating and talking about how he (and only he) is grieving.

I did, however, watch the Halloween video and after that video it started playing Tom's birthday video. In this video we get a brief snippet of Tom helping Solomon with his school work and it seems quite scary to me.

Mind you, I don't have any children so I don't know exactly what a normal 3rd grade textbook would look like, but I do remember what kind of books I read in elementary school and have some samples of writing that I did.  The text in the Ace workbook that Solomon had was at a level that I know I would have been capable of writing in 2nd grade and  reading towards the end of 1st/beginning of 2nd grade.

Here is a partial transcription:

"God Gave Feathers"

"God gave special parts called wings to the birds. God gave other special parts to the birds also. God gave feathers to the birds. Feathers grow out of the skin of birds."

"Some birds have beautiful, colored feathers growing out of their skin. Some of the feathers are colored bright red. Some are colored bright blue. Some of the feathers are colored dark colors."

Am I correct in thinking this is way below what one would expect for a 3rd grade textbook? 

 

If I'm remembering correctly, Sophia is in kindergarten, and Solomon is in first grade.  I hate the way ACE has to have god in every sentence!

[sdjp123]

21 minutes ago, louannems said:

If I'm remembering correctly, Sophia is in kindergarten, and Solomon is in first grade.  I hate the way ACE has to have god in every sentence!

I actually looked at the thumbprint on the 1st day of school video that Tom posted where it has the kids holding signs up showing what grade they are in because I was so shocked by text I saw. According to the signs they are holding, Solomon is in 3rd grade and Sophia is in 1st. The other kids are in 5th grade (Eden), 7th (Justus), 9th (Judah), 10th (Asher) and 12th (Thomas).

I suppose that it is possible that Solomon never finished the 2nd grade curriculum last year and the workbook is actually from 2nd grade. On the other hand, I would expect it would be from the end of the 2nd grade sequence and it still seems very simplistic to me.

[sdjp123]

6 hours ago, justlooking said:

YES!  THAT'S WHAT I WAS THINKING TOO!  Those are the perfect times that you sit down and hold her and explain heaven and Jesus and how much Claudia was loved by her Mommy and that hes there for her and loves her.........etc.....Hugs, let her cry.......Mommy Died,You know that!!!!!!   I saw that too. Infuriating......Absolutely infuriating........

I suspect that Tom has no idea (and no interest in learning) that Claudia's repeated questioning and lack of understanding is completely normal for a 4 year old reacting to a death. So instead of reacting appropriately and with compassion he gets annoyed because Claudia isn't "getting it".  Of course, it would be useless to point this out to Tom as it would ruin his narrative that he is the only one that has been seriously affected by Andrea's death and the only one that really needs comforting. 

6 hours ago, kesmom said:

I’m a homeschooler and to me this reads like a pre-k book. It talks more about colors than actual science. (and I am EXTREMELY relaxed about science for my elementary aged kids)

That's what I felt like too-that it was a beginning reader given all of the repetitive words and phrases.

[LilMissMetaphor]

6 hours ago, HeadacheLife said:

I think it depends on your district - ours doesn't even teach WWII.  I mean I knew about WWII - but it wasn't taught in a classroom until 8th grade and we never got to it in US History in High School. Not much has changed. 

We're Canadian, but my daughter said she didn't even get into WWII until grade 10 either, so I'm not sure what's changed.

[sableduck]

8 hours ago, HeadacheLife said:

(homeschooler here) Often times with homeschool curriculum like that, it is written below typical reading level so that the students can work independently.  In  perfect world they would work independently on the lesson and parent can follow up with more involved activity. I imagine language arts/reading would be more challenging.  I'm not saying this is the case here, but for example, we use a hard-core classical-education curriculum outline, but the science text was still k-4 for a student in grades 4-6 so they could do the reading on their own easily enough.  We then followed up on activities to enrich it, including pulling information out of supplemental encyclopedias and such. Andrea used to do experiments/labs  with them occasionally.  

Also, I've spoken to elementary public-school teachers and the amount of science students get these days is laughable due to having to teach to the test. I imagine because of all the reading the kids used to do (from the library trips) that the kids have a more advanced grasp on science compared to their public-school counterparts. That said - any gains they have will swiftly be lost if they don't continue enriching them at home.  I don't see Tom doing that. 

Not defending their curriculum choice (ACE is awful) but that's probably why it looks below reading level.  Think of it in terms of leveled readers. 

 

My 2nd grade daughter hasn’t done any science this year. Her teacher sent a note explaining that they will do it starting in January. She’s had no social studies, either, save a picture book on Indigenous peoples.  I asked, her teacher just said they haven’t had time.

I was homeschooled in an academically rigorous manner and started college at sixteen.  I don’t really understand how things are done in the public school.

[Sister_Wife]

I have a 2nd grader in public school (Australia). His teacher sends a newsletter to parents every Sunday evening with an overview and photos of the previous week and a brief overview of what they’ll be working on in the coming week. 
 

it’s a combined yr 2 and yr 3 class (we’re a small school).

Last week was: English - learning about Procedures/methods, Maths - 3D shapes and fractions, Science - Earths resources: Soil 

 

They also have: HASS (Humanities and Social Studies), Computer Lab, library time, STEM (currently coding with Sphero Bots), Music (Marimba ensemble), PE and Art (my son told me that they do art when the Religious Instruction lessons are taking place. I’m not sure if this means that the students who go off to RI don’t get an art lesson. The law here is that students who don’t participate in RI are not able to continue with curriculum lessons, so the RI kids don’t miss out on class work)

[Saywha?]

I watched the Halloween video, and I will say it was nice to see the kids wearing different coloured clothing and able to express themselves. It was also nice to see Eden in her element… She seem to be spunky and having fun and it was so nice to see that side of her. 
 

Once again though I feel so sad these kids are not allowed to go to school. Tom made a comment about how the school would raise your kids and he doesn’t want them to do that. Nope totally wrong. Raising your kid is exactly what you’re doing… Activities at night like carving pumpkins and hanging out. That’s raising a child. Just let them go to school and get real education for goodness sake’s Tom