Lori Alexander 72: Lori Quit Church?

[kpmom]

On 10/13/2019 at 6:50 PM, Sweet Caroline said:

There is one suggestion in the book where you save all of the plastic rings from your pop and beer cans. You use them to make a hammock for the backyard. Trying to picture Lori sitting on a self-made plastic ring hammock in Door County. 

Something tells me that nice updated kitchen Lori got a couple of years ago was not made with plastic rings.

[lilwriter85]

I was annoyed with Marie's comment.I didn't garden this summer due to work trips and family events. I know plenty of working women who do garden every summer or depending on where they live-year round.  The fangirls don't take into account that in climates there is only so much can do with gardening. I hate how Lori's fangirls act like working women or feminists don't do things like gardening, couponing, DIY repairs, thrift store shopping, knit, sew, and other money saving things.  Another commenter on the blog mentions knowing a woman who sends her son's clothes to a laundry service and buys him new pants whenever they get holes instead of fixing them. The commenter almost acts like other "busy moms" do those things. My working mother used to fix our clothes all the time. But, there is so much fixing on clothes and sometimes you are better off just buying something new. 

Edited October 14, 2019 by lilwriter85

[Free Jana Duggar]

Random thought:. Lori and the fangirls go on and on about men being protectors.  That's all fine. My guess is decent men would protect their families if necessary, but really, how many men are ever in that position?

In 27 years of marriage, the closest we came was when someone was banging on our apartment door at 2:00 a.m. My husband  did pull the gun out and yelled, "Who is it?". Turns out it was a drunk dude from another apartment at the wrong door. 

But really, how often are men in a position to need to protect a woman?

 

ETA: Well, there was one time on Dog the Bounty Hunter when Leland went off on a fugitive who pushed Baby Lyssa down.

Edited October 14, 2019 by Free Jana Duggar

[lilwriter85]

11 minutes ago, kpmom said:

Something tells me that nice updated kitchen Lori got a couple of years ago was not made with plastic rings.

lol. It annoyed me how Lori bragged and bragged about the kitchen remodel. She mentioned contractors going over and working. She and some of her fangirls have occasionally talked about doing DIY home projects to save money. Not everyone can do great DIY projects or have the patience for it. There is nothing with hiring contractors if you can afford it.  I have speculated that Lori and Ken don't a whole lot of repairs on their own. Lori has mentioned Ken and the sons doing oil changes, but not much else as far as I know. 

[Loveday]

17 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

What's wrong with a mani/pedi/wax/massage? Self care y'all! All this "self-sacrifice" shit is bullshit. I sure as fuck didn't work for vacations and shit. I DO have a fairly new vehicle, but I tend to drive them until the wheels fall off or I'm sick of looking at them (usually about 10 years). This one will probably be the same if not more. 

Not a single thing!  And in your case right now, they're an absolute necessity.  

I'm just extremely ticklish, so pedicures and massages are out. And I'm constantly washing my hands for one reason or another, so a manicure probably wouldn't last more than a few days. But I do think someday I might get one, just for the hell of it. 

[Dana723]

3 hours ago, lilwriter85 said:

I grew up in a two income home and we ate leftovers. My parents hated throwing out food. Plenty of two incomes families aren't wasteful. My dad fixed what he could around the house and with the car. But, sometimes we had to call in professionals or the take vehicles to shops. We didn't live in huge home.

I don't think there is anything wrong with families dining out if they can afford it. I feel  couples and their children deserve to eat out or have other fun things in their lives. Eating out, having nice TVs, and other things doesn't always mean that families are into materialism.  Rich must ignore Lori's restaurant posts from Door County and she had admitted plenty of times that she and Ken eat out quite a bit when they are at home.

I've been a single mother for just about my daughter's entire life (she's 23 now).  Money has always been tight.  But we love to see movies together in the theater.  There's something about sitting in the dark with a huge screen in front of you and a big bowl of popcorn.  I used to save my money to be able to go out (the theater used to have $1 movies on Sunday afternoons for children and we did that a lot).  I can remember my mother fussing at me for throwing away money on going to the movies.  But we enjoyed it so much and it was worth it.  Everyone has something they enjoy and even when money is tight, money can be spent on some type of entertainment.  Lori would never understand the simple pleasure of that.

[louisa05]

2 minutes ago, Loveday said:

Not a single thing!  And in your case right now, they're an absolute necessity.  

I'm just extremely ticklish, so pedicures and massages are out. And I'm constantly washing my hands for one reason or another, so a manicure probably wouldn't last more than a few days. But I do think someday I might get one, just for the hell of it. 

@feministxtianNothing wrong with it. But the idea that that’s the reason women work or that all working women are getting them all the time is utter nonsense. 

I used to get pedicures regularly in the summer. Not anymore because it’s just not in the budget. I do it myself now and do it well enough that I’ve been asked where I go. As for manicures. I’ve gotten three in my life. I hate the way they shape my nails and I can do that better myself if I want to. 

If it’s your cup of tea and fits the budget, enjoy. We’re not attacking any of these things but rather Lori and her fan girls’s notions that they are why women work. That idiocy ignores the economic realities of so many families.  Plus it ignores the fact working women are contributing to society with their skills and knowledge which is equally as valuable as working to pay the bills. 

[Hane]

On 10/12/2019 at 4:52 PM, SilverBeach said:

This is true for us black folks too.

@SilverBeach, I didn’t want to presume about the hair of non-white people, but I do know several women who felt they had to change hairdressers after going gray.

[wallysmommy]

When I was working I got manis and pedis but I decided to stop when I retired as I didn't worry so much about how my nails looked.  I took off the acrylics and let them get healthy again.  I was also beginning to feel like the nail techs didn't take their time anymore, and were rushing.  

I have a $50 gift card for the nail place, and $225 in gift cards for the best spa in town.  I just need to treat myself and use them.  We all need to take care of ourselves whether it's by going to the spa, or doing an at home mani/pedi.  

Lori forgets that many of her fangirls whole house could fit in her kitchen and living room.  

 

[Zebedee]

 

1 hour ago, lilwriter85 said:

Another commenter on the blog mentions knowing a woman who sends her son's clothes to a laundry service and buys him new pants whenever they get holes instead of fixing them. The commenter almost acts like other "busy moms" do those things. My working mother used to fix our clothes all the time. But, there is so much fixing on clothes and sometimes you are better off just buying something new. 

Ha, I'm a stay-at-home-not-quite-wife-non-parent. I (or rather my partner) sends his shirts out to be washed and ironed mostly (except for the non-iron ones) by his preference. Not that I wouldn't iron them, but he's very fussy, and *doesn't want* me spending hours of my life ironing his shirts. (He has a lot, and needs to dress very smart 5 days/week, plus we go to a lot of events where we need to wear black tie). Before our local ironing place closed down, we also sent out our bed linen for ironing... My working mother, however, used to do all this stuff, including making most of my clothes, until I and my brother were old enough to take care of most of these things ourselves. 

I'm off work for mental health reasons, but I take care of most domestic stuff. If I worked, we'd send the shirts out too - but as it is, he wants me to use my good days to get through my German lessons (moved here a while ago), IT training, maybe even submit my PhD thesis, not use my limited "spoons" to  be his domestic slave. I  know how lucky I am that German health insurance is great, and that he can afford to do this. I hate being financially totally  reliant on him though, and he's just supporting me, not a ton of kids too. (We always knew we wouldn't have children, and there was always an unspoken expectation - especially on my side - that I would be working in my own field. So he's really been thrown a curveball here.)

Even if I were totally well, and could be a perfect SAHW, it's just not my thing (nor anything we ever discussed/desired/anticipated when we moved in together 18 years ago)  It's completely different if it's a choice that both partners have input in!

But, currently, I have 2-3 good days per week in a normal month, so he often has to take on extra duties. I also have dreams of my own career wise, which have been downgraded since my health problems - but I see how stressed he gets with all the work, and now my main  motivation is to get out to work, and take some of the burden off him. I see how exhausted he gets from work,  and sometimes from covering what should be my "duties", and I hate it. We don't live exactly "frugally" - lots of theatre/opera trips, visits to friends abroad, etc - but... I do shop extremely thriftily and cook quite economically - not my work hours to waste on unnecessary expenses. I'd feel awful buying $14/lb butter with someone else's wages - unless it was their heart's desire! I have panic attacks considering what would happen if my partner was unable to work if I were otherwise healthy and could provide instead. Let alone thinking of what would happen if that would happen right now.

 

[hollyfeller]

2 hours ago, Dana723 said:

I've been a single mother for just about my daughter's entire life (she's 23 now).  Money has always been tight.  But we love to see movies together in the theater.  There's something about sitting in the dark with a huge screen in front of you and a big bowl of popcorn.  I used to save my money to be able to go out (the theater used to have $1 movies on Sunday afternoons for children and we did that a lot).  I can remember my mother fussing at me for throwing away money on going to the movies.  But we enjoyed it so much and it was worth it.  Everyone has something they enjoy and even when money is tight, money can be spent on some type of entertainment.  Lori would never understand the simple pleasure of that.

When you enjoy something that much it is never a waste of money!

I spend a ton of money every year to take my goddaughter and her family to the Disneyland Halloween party, but it is completely worth it because we have so much fun.  I never worry about the cost because we make so many wonderful memories.

[lilwriter85]

3 hours ago, Dana723 said:

I've been a single mother for just about my daughter's entire life (she's 23 now).  Money has always been tight.  But we love to see movies together in the theater.  There's something about sitting in the dark with a huge screen in front of you and a big bowl of popcorn.  I used to save my money to be able to go out (the theater used to have $1 movies on Sunday afternoons for children and we did that a lot).  I can remember my mother fussing at me for throwing away money on going to the movies.  But we enjoyed it so much and it was worth it.  Everyone has something they enjoy and even when money is tight, money can be spent on some type of entertainment.  Lori would never understand the simple pleasure of that.

During tough times with money, I would occasionally splurge on entertainment and other things. I felt that if I had the bills paid and was managing a budget well then something could be squeezed in.  There are ways to do fun things at reduced costs.  There are discount days at some movie theaters, museums, arcades, and restaurants. With Lori's followers, it seems they ignore that things like that exist or they don't know. 

[Free Jana Duggar]

Spoiler

 

So I m a huge Duane "Dog" Chapman fan. Lori would have a stroke because Beth (RIP) and Baby Lyssa are two bada$$ women who would eat her alive. 

[Hane]

As Robert Heinlein said in one of his novels, “Budget the luxuries FIRST!” Most people are sensible enough to know how to work little islands of pleasure and comfort into even a modest budget.  When Ex-Mr.-Hane-#1 and I were newlywed college students 46 years ago, we lived for cheap movie nights (99 cents on Tuesdays!) and the $1.98 weekly specials at the Bonanza steakhouse chain. Translate that to the occasional fancy Starbucks coffee or Chili’s dinner nowadays, and it’s the same thing.

I always used to be frugal AF, but living like an ascetic martyr out of holier-than-thou choice benefits no one.

[quiversR4hunting]

I agree with everyone that says to budget for some luxuries if you can and I love what Hane says here so it bears repeating:

2 minutes ago, Hane said:

...living like an ascetic martyr out of holier-than-thou choice benefits no one.

I have Molly Maid come once a month and I get a massage once a month. Both have been cut out of the budget when my husband lost his job 3 different times. I brought it back into the budget a few months after he got his new jobs. I work full time, Molly Maid isn't a luxury to me, it is a necessity. I can't keep up with all the schedules and keep the house in a reasonable state. My house is still cluttered but at least it gets scrubbed good once a month. A massage, oh man, best thing I do for self-care. My back gets tense and all knotted up and my office chair isn't great and I am on a computer all day long, so my massages are the best thing to help me. 

I know there are people that can't afford to budget some things like a massage or a cleaning service but as others said, cheap movie nights, rent a movie, go to the local school play or musical or sporting event, find free or low cost events sponsored by local organizations, etc. Shoot sometimes 2 hours of free time to just read and maybe soak in a tub is all I need to pick myself up. But fun activities are needed for everyone's sanity. 

[SongRed7]

15 hours ago, lilwriter85 said:

. I know plenty of working women who do garden every summer or depending on where they live-year round. 

yep! One here.  I work full time, have two large raised bed gardens (this year I grew corn, 3 kinds of tomatoes, eggplants, 2 kinds of peppers, onions, green beans, beets, cucumbers, and a variety of herbs.)  My kids are 26, 23 (they are on their own) and a 14 year old. I run her to soccer and basketball practice, school, etc. I bake up a storm on weekends. Last weekend (not that the weather is cooler) I made a big pot of chicken vegetable soup for a couple days and baked two pies to take to a get together at some friend's house.   I also have a little side business of sewing memory blankets (you know those ones made out of old t-shirts). that is my "fun" money.  I am active in the my church and volunteer.  I also manage "to be intimate" with my husband regularly. Imagine that! 

We are not rich, but we are not poor either -- because we both work!  Oh yeah, and if I didn't work we wouldn't have health insurance or probably a house or food or clothes.   I am very frugal -- and I can make leftovers into an amazing meal.  But we also have enough in the budget to go to UNOs or another local restaurant on occasion. We are a team -- my husband and I and our kids see that that is healthy for families. 

I don't consider myself remarkable in any way.  I am doing what almost every other mother I know does -- doing the best for my family whether they are SAHM or working moms.   Lori and her ilk JUST DON'T GET IT. 

 

11 hours ago, lilwriter85 said:

There are discount days at some movie theaters, museums, arcades, and restaurants. With Lori's followers, it seems they ignore that things like that exist or they don't know. 

 I live in NJ and my local public library system (free) has a variety of free passes you can reserve to local museums and attractions.  It's awesome.

 

Edited October 15, 2019 by SongRed7

[Alisamer]

15 hours ago, lilwriter85 said:

 I hate how Lori's fangirls act like working women or feminists don't do things like gardening, couponing, DIY repairs, thrift store shopping, knit, sew, and other money saving things. 

...But, there is so much fixing on clothes and sometimes you are better off just buying something new. 

I agree, but TBH, knitting and sewing are not actually money saving at all in most cases. Sewing, somewhat, if you're altering things to fit and/or mending them (although really, if something cost less than $10 and is going to take more than an hour to fix, is it really worth it to fix it, environmental issues aside?) But knitting? not so much. I mean sure, you can probably churn out some chunky acrylic beanies pretty quickly, but nice yarn is pricey. (Says the person who dropped ALL of her hobby budget on the Madeline Tosh 70% off sale a week or so ago...) 

I think that may be part of why we sometimes see fundies who sew some - they can alter thrift shop clothes and take in/let out things as they are passed from kid to kid. But knitting takes time and concentration, and I'd bet that's in short supply with a zillion kids running around. And really, yes, you can get a ton of cotton washcloths out of a $1.99 skein of cotton yarn. But each one probably takes me anywhere from 1/2 hour to an hour and a half, depending on the pattern. Probably more, if it's fancy. Knitting's awesome, but money saving? Probably not so much, unless you are time-rich and money-poor. If you're short on both time and money, just buy what you need at a discount store and knit for relaxation when you can.

Lori, of course, has the time to knit, and the money to afford the good yarn. It'd probably calm her down a bit, too. (After she mastered it, anyway, at first it'll make you cuss.) But her only hobby is posting nastiness on the internet, apparently. What does she actually DO all day? Nap? She has the time and money her followers can only dream of having, and she just WASTES it. 

Get a hobby, Lori! There has to be something you enjoy more than hurting people!

40 minutes ago, Hane said:

I always used to be frugal AF, but living like an ascetic martyr out of holier-than-thou choice benefits no one.

Especially when your "Godly Mentor" who you are trying to emulate buys $14 butter and goes on months-long vacations every year. Who is Lori to tell people to live frugally? 

[Frog99]

Ummm- am I the only one that sees the irony of this statement?! 
 

Spoiler

And of course, lest we forget, women should be held accountable for EVERYTHING. 

Spoiler

Is Shaun Steele a troll and we missed it? Is he serious? 
 

Spoiler

 

[quiversR4hunting]

I agree with @Alisamer, however my hobby is quilting. I don't save a bit of money quilting or sewing a simple blanket for a baby shower gift. I do it because I want to give them a special baby gift. Fabric is $12.99 to 14.99/yard. I don't shop Joanne's for quilt fabric (fleece yes) because many of their cottons pull and skew. I also like a lot of modern designers, who are not sold in Joanne stores.

Earlier I was going to say I don't wear designer clothes to work (Is Mauricie's, apt. 9, & a.n.a considered big designers? ) if I do have designer brand I can almost guarantee I purchased it at Style Encore or Clothes Mentor. But if we talk quilt fabric, I have designer fabric from Tula and Anna Maria Horner and Amy Butler and Cotton+Steel, etc. 

[cindyluvs24]

On 10/13/2019 at 1:08 PM, usmcmom said:

Not awesome, but here ya go. 

ETA: Wait.  Is this allowed?  ?

If Lori put her money where her mouth is and actually took care of herself and looked like that....perhaps she wouldn't be such a ....what's the word I'm looking for.....a harpy bitch?  She could take some of her butter money and buy a box of Nice and Easy every 6 weeks or so and get a trim at the local SuperCuts.  Maybe looking like a dried up hag is her way of getting back at Ken by keeping him tied to a sickly looking wife.

 

17 hours ago, lilwriter85 said:

I was annoyed with Marie's comment.I didn't garden this summer due to work trips and family events. I know plenty of working women who do garden every summer or depending on where they live-year round.  The fangirls don't take into account that in climates there is only so much can do with gardening. I hate how Lori's fangirls act like working women or feminists don't do things like gardening, couponing, DIY repairs, thrift store shopping, knit, sew, and other money saving things.  Another commenter on the blog mentions knowing a woman who sends her son's clothes to a laundry service and buys him new pants whenever they get holes instead of fixing them. The commenter almost acts like other "busy moms" do those things. My working mother used to fix our clothes all the time. But, there is so much fixing on clothes and sometimes you are better off just buying something new. 

I think working women are better at managing their time and priorities so they end up doing a pretty fair amount of gardening, crafts etc.  compared to Lori's fangirls who supposedly stay home all day being "keepers at home."

17 hours ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

ETA: Well, there was one time on Dog the Bounty Hunter when Leland went off on a fugitive who pushed Baby Lyssa down.

I remember that episode.  And I was so hoping that they would work him over off camera.  

Edited October 15, 2019 by cindyluvs24

[Alisamer]

3 minutes ago, quiversR4hunting said:

Earlier I was going to say I don't wear designer clothes to work (Is Mauricie's, apt. 9, & a.n.a considered big designers? ) if I do have designer brand I can almost guarantee I purchased it at Style Encore or Clothes Mentor. But if we talk quilt fabric, I have designer fabric from Tula and Anna Maria Horner and Amy Butler and Cotton+Steel, etc. 

Truth! I'm wearing a hand-me-down Old Navy t-shirt, a cheap hoodie with one pocket coming off, and discount-store jeans I've worn for a couple years now. The only thing I have on that cost more than maybe $20 is my Vans shoes (also worn for several years now). But yarn? That Tosh I just bought is $25+ a skein... I bought it for a bit over $7 each, but I've paid around $20 for a skein of hand-dyed wool before. I did recently get about $90 worth of nice yarn (alpaca/silk!) for $5 at the thrift store, so that was lucky, but good yarn is so nice. I want to knit things I want to wear and use!

Also I don't think people quite understand how much yarn/fabric/etc goes into making things. I am currently working on a shawl that takes 1600+ yards of fingering-weight yarn. That yarn usually comes in 200 or 400 yard skeins - so I'll need at least 4 skeins for this shawl. I want at least 1200 yards for a sweater for me, depending on yarn weight. To put that in proportion, I once found a yarn I wanted for a sweater (which is still in progress...) I went to several stores, because I needed 8 skeins of it. A 100g skein of sock yarn makes one pair of adult socks. $6 - $25 a skein plus at least 40 hours of knitting for a pair of socks. What a money saver! (Worth it. Absolutely worth it, to me. But definitely not a money saver at all.)

[SongRed7]

So let me get this straight -- Kanye West is paragon of virtue,  working women are evil (doubly so if they are dressed immodestly). Got it. 

Edited October 15, 2019 by SongRed7

[Loveday]

48 minutes ago, quiversR4hunting said:

Earlier I was going to say I don't wear designer clothes to work (Is Mauricie's, apt. 9, & a.n.a considered big designers? ) if I do have designer brand I can almost guarantee I purchased it at Style Encore or Clothes Mentor. But if we talk quilt fabric, I have designer fabric from Tula and Anna Maria Horner and Amy Butler and Cotton+Steel, etc. 

I hope so, because that would mean Sonoma is, too, and I wear a LOT of that, thanks to Kohl's sales. LOL. 

I was with my sister in law once when she was shopping for yarn to make a baby afghan for a new grandchild. She spent over $80, and this was about ten years ago. I was quietly appalled, because the last time I crocheted anything was in the early 80s, and I could get acrylic yarn for 99 cents a skein on sale. I had no idea things had changed so much!

Come to think of it, I need to get back to that project and finish it. It's an afghan, and I started it in 1982. With luck, I could finish it in 2022. 

[quiversR4hunting]

45 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

That Tosh I just bought is $25+ a skein

I had to look up Tosh yarn. OH YES! I have seen and felt it (I walk through fabric and yarn stores "petting" the fabric or yarn) it is very nice. There is a quilt shop I go to about once a year and half it is a quilt shop the other half is a yarn shop. I am always impressed by the projects on the yarn side but I need another hobby like a hole in my head! 

This is one of Tula Pink's fabric designs. I don't have the fabric but need to pick it up. No idea what I would do with it but I LOVE it! Who sees the skulls in the top pink and purple fabric that at first glance looks like just another pretty design?

[Alisamer]

10 minutes ago, quiversR4hunting said:

I had to look up Tosh yarn. OH YES! I have seen and felt it (I walk through fabric and yarn stores "petting" the fabric or yarn) it is very nice. There is a quilt shop I go to about once a year and half it is a quilt shop the other half is a yarn shop. I am always impressed by the projects on the yarn side but I need another hobby like a hole in my head! 

This is one of Tula Pink's fabric designs. I don't have the fabric but need to pick it up. No idea what I would do with it but I LOVE it! Who sees the skulls in the top pink and purple fabric that at first glance looks like just another pretty design?

Those fabrics are all gorgeous and i LOVE them! Totally my fave aesthetic, too.

Tosh is SO nice. I've only had little samples of it before (just enough for one doll hat each!) but I could not resist that sale, so I have a bunch of different colors of the Tosh Light with sparkles in it coming soon. In fact the shawl I'm currently knitting has sparkles in one color. I'm still debating what to make with the Madeline Tosh. I was thinking a fade shawl, or a cardigan. Or both, I might have enough.