Lori Alexander 72: Lori Quit Church?

[Sarah92]

I was thinking of all these guys that want girls to marry at 14 without an official government  marriage license  .....it makes it harder to track them. I mean really, a teen gets married off with no documentation and wisked away to live with her “beloved” husband. She’s completely dependent on him, as one guy mentions above, and has no income of her own. She most likely doesn’t finish school and is almost certainly pregnant as soon as possible. To doctors, she’s another teen pregnancy.... after all there’s no documentation of her being married. 

I counsel kids for a living and have a small case load of adults. None of my kids that are 12-14 are anywhere close to being able to maturely handle having a bf or gf let alone marriage. I have seen very few mature, healthy relationships at that age. Typically they’re jumping between relationships every other week. Even outside of the kids I work with I’ve yet to meet one where I’d say they’re ready for a relationship. 

The fact that Lori has deleted the ones promoting marrying 12 year olds says a lot about her beliefs. 

[SuperNova]

So we're back around to the marry 'em young post. This is a topic that is very familiar to me. My family wasn't over religious but we did attend church. My father was from a heavily patriarchal background and his cultural beliefs were closely aligned with the extreme fundamental christian view on young girls and marriage. 

The girls in my family had no agency or sense of bodily autonomy and objectification started from time out of mind. I had my first marriage proposal when I was 14. The young man went to my father first and was given approval to ask me. I turned him down and my father was angry with me. My parents were divorced by this time and my mom had no idea what was happening. The next proposal came later that same year from a 23 year old man that I was dating with permission. I turned him down as well. I use the word "permission" loosely because the truth is my parents didn't really care. They were looking to move the responsibility of caring for me to someone else but it was my father that was trying to marry me off. 

It was about that time that I said fuck all this and ran away from home. I hitchhiked around the state for awhile before coming back to the area. I had nowhere to go and ended up living with yet another boyfriend. I got pregnant at 15, gave birth at 16, and at 17 my father signed a notarized letter giving me permission to marry. I just didn't know any other way. I didn't know what my options were and so I married an abusive drug addict. I was so used to men being abusive and making the rules that I stayed with my husband for more than 5 years. He was a meth addict and abused me every way he knew how until one day I just walked out the door and never came back.

Lori's male commenters are spot on when they talk about the trainability of young girls. It's difficult for an inexperienced teenager see what's wrong when they're taught to put a man's wants above their own needs. It blinds young girls to what their lives really are. The aim is to control and by the very nature of this power imbalance, it is abuse. Period. There is no such thing as a healthy teen marriage. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Who are these perverts ... these pedophiles ... who think 12-15 is the perfect age for girls to marry?

Sick, sick. sick. Twisted. Disgusting. Vile.

OK Ken -- man up and show up here and tell us how absolutely thrilled you would have been for Cassie and Alyssa to marry at 13 and have a baby at 14. 

Go on... I'm serious ..... tell us you think that would have been A-OK peachy keen for your daughters.  And then tell us how wonderful it is anticipating that your oldest granddaughter could be married with a baby in 6-7 years.

[KDA]

1 hour ago, kmachete14 said:

Shakespeare also wrote a whole play on how idiotic it is to get married at 14 ... don’t think anyone was advocating for It back then either (unless you were super rich/royalty and needed a political alliance — normal peasant folk were not getting married that young plus the age of menarche was way older due to poor nutrition!) 

Also any ADULT year old who thinks it’s ok to marry a 14 year old is sick. What’s he going to do, drive her around places? Make sure she does her homework? Help her learn how to use pads & tampons? Teach her math? Buy her first bra? Teach her how to shave her legs? When she has a baby, how is she even going to take care of it ... she still needs 10 hours of sleep and a bedtime! 
 

I 100% guarantee Ken wouldn’t have allowed his little girls to get married at 14, whether it was to a 24 year old or a 15 year old. What demonic hypocrites. 

It’s pedophilia plain and simple. 
 

edit: just look at a freshman in HS class. Most girls don’t have “natural beauty” yet. They have braces, acne, and are either stick thin prepubescent or still have baby fat. A few might blossom early, but that is NOT the norm. 

Exactly. I have a 14 year old daughter. She is a child. She goes to school. If any sick old man expressed an interest in marrying her, I'd have him locked up for pedophilia. That's if hubby didn't kill him first. 

[wallysmommy]

Thank you, Ben Holt.  I'm changing my location to "living happily in Spinsterhood."

[SongRed7]

My youngest is a freshman in hs and will be 15 in a few weeks.  I can’t imagine her or any of her friends being ready for marriage. Those people make me literally sick to my stomach. I’d like to ask at Ken which one of his granddaughters he wants to marry her off at age 14 to some 25-year-old dude?

[Loveday]

I'd love for Ken to come here and answer this question. Can we even tag him anymore? Let me try... @Ken  Just in case he's got his notifications set to go to his email account. 

Come on, Ken, this is some dead serious stuff here. You NEED to address this. Or make Lori stop allowing pedophiles to comment on her posts. 

[Free Jana Duggar]

18 hours ago, AuntKrazy said:

Vaughn Ohlman was the one who had to cancel a marry them young camp-type meet-up to arrange marriage event.  The camp found out about his underage without-consent advocacy and told him they weren't welcome.  He then had to take down his website with the most abhorrent content of his views because he had been discovered and been reports for advocating a form of pedophilia.

 

I remember that. The place he was going to hold the event was owned by The Salvation Army. When they found out what their facility was going to be used for, they refused to let him use it. I worked for The Salvation Army for 5 years. They are huge on getting women/girls out of sex trafficking.  Wrong organization to try that with. 

[freealljs]

I doubt that @Ken will ever return to FJ, given we didn’t worship the ground that the horse of truth galloped on. We won’t ever get an answer as to why his own daughters didn’t marry at 14 yo. Ken is a coward. Plain and simple. 

[Alisamer]

16 hours ago, Lgirlrocks said:

I didn’t get into my first serious relationship until I was 25. He is the guy I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. If I had started dating him earlier I don’t think it would have lasted. I needed time to find myself and figure out who I was and what I believed. Nothing wrong with that at all. Marriage is nothing to take lightly. And not everyone finds “the one” when they are young. At 17 I was working, going to high school, and taking care of the house and my dying dad while my mom worked two jobs. 

sorry but if I was single, I’m 30, and couldn’t find any good men or women I’d be okay. I was content with being single when I started spending time with my current BF. Had zero plans to marry. For people who claim to be Christian they sure don’t act like it. Beauty is only skin deep and looks change. That’s why you don’t marry someone for how their body looks now. 

  Reveal hidden contents

Sorry but no one at 14 should be getting married. They are still in fucking school. Sick ass holes! We have a fucking legal age for a reason. Science says brains aren’t fully developed until 21 plus. So why in the fuck would we allow someone who isn’t fully developed to marry? Sick fuckers! 

 

4 hours ago, SongRed7 said:

My youngest is a freshman in hs and will be 15 in a few weeks.  I can’t imagine her or any of her friends being ready for marriage. Those people make me literally sick to my stomach. I’d like to ask at Ken which one of his granddaughters he wants to marry her off at age 14 to some 25-year-old dude?

Have these people ever actually SEEN a 14-year-old? My co-worker is helping raise her 14-year-old grandson and he can't even manage to keep up with the basics of schoolwork without constant supervision. Maybe back in caveman days when life expectancy was short and life consisted of finding food and shelter, 14 might have been an acceptable age to start popping out babies... but we've come a long way since then.

37 minutes ago, freealljs said:

I doubt that @Ken will ever return to FJ, given we didn’t worship the ground that the horse of truth galloped on. We won’t ever get an answer as to why his own daughters didn’t marry at 14 yo. Ken is a coward. Plain and simple. 

He won't answer because he knows there is no answer he can give that is simultaneously true, honest, and not conflicting with Lori. No matter how many words he pours out to talk around the question, this one's hard to avoid. He knows Lori is completely off her rocker. Unfortunately he chooses to aid and abet her terribleness rather than getting her help or ditching her awful mean scrawny butt. Probably because California is a community property state, so even if he divorced her he'd end up having to keep her in $14 butter for the rest of their lives. 

If Ken was a nice guy I'd feel bad for him, but he's made it clear that he's not. I think he's just a garden-variety ass however, not a probably psychopath like Lori.

[Frog99]

11 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

I was thinking of all these guys that want girls to marry at 14 without an official government  marriage license  .....it makes it harder to track them. I mean really, a teen gets married off with no documentation and wisked away to live with her “beloved” husband. She’s completely dependent on him, as one guy mentions above, and has no income of her own. She most likely doesn’t finish school and is almost certainly pregnant as soon as possible. To doctors, she’s another teen pregnancy.... after all there’s no documentation of her being married. 

I counsel kids for a living and have a small case load of adults. None of my kids that are 12-14 are anywhere close to being able to maturely handle having a bf or gf let alone marriage. I have seen very few mature, healthy relationships at that age. Typically they’re jumping between relationships every other week. Even outside of the kids I work with I’ve yet to meet one where I’d say they’re ready for a relationship. 

The fact that Lori has deleted the ones promoting marrying 12 year olds says a lot about her beliefs. 

My 12 year old is mature fit her age- fills out all of her own paperwork at doctors’ offices, is a leader in her school, is intelligent and articulate, and handles herself in a way more typical of older adolescents. Even so- she is in no way, shape, or form ready to be married. She’s had her first crush, but that was fleeting and she doesn’t have much interest in boys. She’s still figuring out who she is and what her true interests are- she’s future focused in terms of what she thinks she wants to do (field of medicine) but not future focused when it comes to other things (we are working on the 5 minutes vs 5 months/years from now concept). 

I saw mothers commenting on that post that they hope their girls are married young and that they will be disappointed if they aren’t married by 25. 

For my daughter, I hope she always knows that she is loved and that she matters. I hope she knows she always has a place with us- she can always come home. I hope she understands that she can go directly to God- she does not need a man to intercede for her, and that she doesn’t need a man in authority over her. I hope she follows the path set before her and that she uses the gifts God has given her to serve others and to bring him glory- never succumbing to pressure to minimize or tamp down those gifts. I hope she finds happiness and contentment and peace in her personal life, no matter what that looks like. I hope that she stays independent and solid and courageous, and that she lives with conviction and purpose. 

All of these things I hope for her are the same things I hope for my 10 year old son. I am so grateful that they were given to me to love, raise, guide, and nurture. 

[AuntKrazy]

I tend to think that Lori advocates a "must get married and have children" paradigm because it's the only way that she herself is ever evaluated as "successful".   

I've adopted a beautiful 84 year old single lady in my church as part of my family.  She lives a block from me, and is a retired nurse who spent her life assisting with some cutting-edge research hospitals in my area.  One of the highlights of my week is the time I get to spend with her.  She lives a block from us, and is on the way to the church, so she is my choir buddy - I pick her up and we go to choir rehearsals together.  She is one of the most amazing people I have ever met, and I am learning so much about giving grace to others from her.  I can't imagine anyone meeting her and trying to make her feel like she failed God simply because she never married or had children. 

(I shouldn't say this, but I'm going to:) And at 84, she looks better than Lori.  

Married/children - those are more circumstantial than Lori wants to believe.  It's a person's character within whatever circumstances that counts.  Are you loving? Joyful? Peaceful? Patient?  Kind?  Good?  Faithful?  Gentle with others?  Self-controlled?  My dear never-married friend has these in spades.  I rarely see any glimmer of these in you, Lori.  

[delphinium65]

1 hour ago, Alisamer said:

He won't answer because he knows there is no answer he can give that is simultaneously true, honest, and not conflicting with Lori. No matter how many words he pours out to talk around the question, this one's hard to avoid. He knows Lori is completely off her rocker. Unfortunately he chooses to aid and abet her terribleness rather than getting her help or ditching her awful mean scrawny butt. Probably because California is a community property state, so even if he divorced her he'd end up having to keep her in $14 butter for the rest of their lives. 

If Ken was a nice guy I'd feel bad for him, but he's made it clear that he's not. I think he's just a garden-variety ass however, not a probably psychopath like Lori.

I still suspect that he may be planning eventually to put her in a home somewhere, using her online posting as evidence of her deterioration.  

[PennySycamore]

@AuntKrazy, your post about adopting your 84 year old single neighbor reminded me of an old neighbor and friend of our thirty something years ago.  She was a nurse and had retired from the Nursing faculty at Clemson.  She was the eldest of 8 kids and had had to step in to help raise siblings after their mom died.  Theresa went in to go to nursing school, served as an Army nurse in Italy during WWII, and went on to get her doctorate in nursing.  She never married nor did she become a nun.   She had a rich, full life though and we named our middle daughter after her.  I wish that our Theresa had gotten to know her, but she died a few months after Theresa was born.

Btw,  I think it's fantastic that you've made this woman part of your family!

Edited November 7, 2019 by PennySycamore
added thought

[AuntKrazy]

@PennySycamore 

We're the ones privileged to have her as a part of it! She is such a light in our lives.

 

[Loveday]

3 hours ago, Alisamer said:

He won't answer because he knows there is no answer he can give that is simultaneously true, honest, and not conflicting with Lori. No matter how many words he pours out to talk around the question, this one's hard to avoid. He knows Lori is completely off her rocker. Unfortunately he chooses to aid and abet her terribleness rather than getting her help or ditching her awful mean scrawny butt. Probably because California is a community property state, so even if he divorced her he'd end up having to keep her in $14 butter for the rest of their lives. 

If Ken was a nice guy I'd feel bad for him, but he's made it clear that he's not. I think he's just a garden-variety ass however, not a probably psychopath like Lori.

Well, ya know...that's never stopped him before. 

Seriously, though, you're right, unfortunately. @Ken will never come back here. He had his cojones handed to him last time, he's too much of a coward to risk losing them altogether this time. 

[onemama]

15 hours ago, SuperNova said:

Lori's male commenters are spot on when they talk about the trainability of young girls. It's difficult for an inexperienced teenager see what's wrong when they're taught to put a man's wants above their own needs. It blinds young girls to what their lives really are. The aim is to control and by the very nature of this power imbalance, it is abuse. Period. There is no such thing as a healthy teen marriage. 

This desire to control and train a girl to be the wife the man wants her to be is the main issue I have against this whole idea.  Teen marriage is a foolish idea already, but practically giving your teen daughter to an adult man for him to train her to be his slave? How much sicker can it get? It grosses me out to hear that adult men are talking like that about their daughters. 

4 hours ago, Frog99 said:

For my daughter, I hope she always knows that she is loved and that she matters. I hope she knows she always has a place with us- she can always come home. I hope she understands that she can go directly to God- she does not need a man to intercede for her, and that she doesn’t need a man in authority over her. I hope she follows the path set before her and that she uses the gifts God has given her to serve others and to bring him glory- never succumbing to pressure to minimize or tamp down those gifts. I hope she finds happiness and contentment and peace in her personal life, no matter what that looks like. I hope that she stays independent and solid and courageous, and that she lives with conviction and purpose. 

I hope those same things for my 12 year old daughter. She's such a joy and has such a loving heart.

 

[SuperNova]

This poor Christian penis haver. His evil feminist wife has turned everyone against him. Not to worry though because he knows that he's a good man. 

Pro tip: if everyone thinks you're a piece of shit, you probably are.

Spoiler

Dear Lori,
I just woke up to pray in my car, where I have been sleeping because unbeknown to me I married a feminist with two high level degrees who told me she won’t submit to me until I get two degrees. She has mental issues. I was pastoring and she set out to destroy me when I started teach on this topic. I’m not weak, and I refuse to let her break me. She was only taught how to get a education and overrule men. It’s been the worst 10 years of my life, but it never broke me. My faith is in the word of God. These women are evil and mean.

Telling our children they don’t have to listen to me, when I teach them the word and how to be godly adults. Because of her, everyone has forsaken me but 4 people. She refuses to give me any of our money which she transferred into another bank with just her name on in. I’m saying this to say, you are on point and here is some of their ugly fruit. Thank God I knew I was a good man, and I refuse to bow down the enemy. I would rather sleep in my car and not eat, just to be free from that controlling spirit. The story that I have, they are crazy.

 

[feministxtian]

my daughter is 37 and is getting married next May. She's had plenty of time and plenty of relationships to figure out what she wants. I could not see her married at even 25...she needed time to grow up. #1 son is divorced and remarried. The first time around was a disaster. He was in the Army and she was crazy. He's in a much better place now and this time it seems to be fairly successful. #2 son is SO not ready for any sort of relationship...he's 29. I'm glad he knows that. 

I'm "single" now...and realize that another relationship is probably not in the cards for me. I probably still lack the emotional maturity to do this again...my husband put up with my "quirkiness" and need for independence. I can't see another man wanting that and I haven't the energy to "train" another husband. 

[SongRed7]

In this same vein, here is what one sicko posted on the blog site (bolding mine for emphasis): (I left his name in ....if it is his real name, since it's a public blog). This makes me want to throw up. 

 Jim Drethus says:

November 6, 2019 at 11:52 am

A young girl should marry as soon as her father is comfortable giving her to a GODLY man. Both my daughters married at 16, and they are in their 20’s now with daughters of their own. It’s the most wonderful thing to see “Daddy’s Little Girl” given into the hands of a truly godly man. Praise the Lord!

[SuperNova]

1 minute ago, SongRed7 said:

In this same vein, here is what one sicko posted on the blog site (bolding mine for emphasis): (I left his name in ....if it is his real name, since it's a public blog). This makes me want to throw up. 

 Jim Drethus says:

November 6, 2019 at 11:52 am

A young girl should marry as soon as her father is comfortable giving her to a GODLY man. Both my daughters married at 16, and they are in their 20’s now with daughters of their own. It’s the most wonderful thing to see “Daddy’s Little Girl” given into the hands of a truly godly man. Praise the Lord!

Beyond disgusting. This has uncomfortable pedo vibes. I wonder how old the men were who married these 16 year old daughters. 

[wallysmommy]

This would be Ken coming back to respond to this group.  Fawlty Towers had the best dialogue.

Sybil: If I find out the money on that horse was yours, you know what I'll do, Basil. 

Basil: You'll have to sew 'em back on first! 

[Pink Muffin]

I found this on Reddit, according to this "Jim Drethus" is not a real person but someone trolling Lori

Spoiler

 

[Curious]

Lori tweeted today about people not knowing what "train" means biblically.   I retweeted with a response early this morning and it was bothering me all day while I was on bed rest.   This is my response when I woke up.   It's 5 tweets long so you will need to click to see the whole thing.

 

 

[KDA]

8 hours ago, SongRed7 said:

In this same vein, here is what one sicko posted on the blog site (bolding mine for emphasis): (I left his name in ....if it is his real name, since it's a public blog). This makes me want to throw up. 

 Jim Drethus says:

November 6, 2019 at 11:52 am

A young girl should marry as soon as her father is comfortable giving her to a GODLY man. Both my daughters married at 16, and they are in their 20’s now with daughters of their own. It’s the most wonderful thing to see “Daddy’s Little Girl” given into the hands of a truly godly man. Praise the Lord!

I don't know how to do screen shots on here (technology hates me) but there is a further comment to that one, just under that, put there today. Copied and pasted:

Jim Drethus says:

November 7, 2019 at 2:59 pm

Amen brother! It’s good to have Godly daughters, and it’s even more important to have Godly sons. And when they get married the blessed fruit grows and multiplies! The daughters didn’t like being married that young at first, but sometimes Daddy Knows Best. I sure did love it when they called me Daddy, but now there is another “Daddy” in their lives. Praise the lord! Lori is such a dumb bitch she probably won’t realize I’m fucking with her, and she will blindly approve this comment. Amen! Blessed be the fruit under His eye!

So Jim Drethus is definitely a troll. And Lori obviously just sees a man's name on the comments and approves it without reading it, because he's a man, so he must be right. I nearly died laughing, when I read that.