Lori Alexander 72: Lori Quit Church?

[quiversR4hunting]

to piggy back on @louisa05 & @lilwriter85 the parishes I have been part of are the same. I know of 1 church that let 1 family live in the empty rectory for up to 6 months. It was a super small town, small church and the priest had 2 parishes and lived at the other rectory. So the parish let this family live there for a short time while they came up with money for housing. 

The parish I belong to now is the largest in the Dioceses and the most affluent. The St. Vincent DePaul Society at our church can still only help 15 families a month. I am not sure what they assist with but I know the cap is 15 and it is first come, first serve. Through a "turkey tree" the parish provides food baskets to around 100 families at Thanksgiving. Every basket gets the same food (not the same quantity, it is based on family size. So a single person or a couple would get a turkey breast instead an entire bird, for example). All but the turkeys and physical basket are done by 100% donations from the members. (I think the Knights of Columbus provide the turkey and basket.)

[Imrlgoddess]

Years ago when the first husband and I were having a rough time I went to the church that I attended and asked for some help with rent money.  I got lowkey shamed by the priest for asking and was told the church wasn't in the business of paying people's bills for them.  He cut me a check for $100 and sent me on my way.  

I'm sure there were other churches in town that wouldn't have been as ugly about it, but I never bothered to ask anyone else after that.  

Lori can't fathom real financial difficulty, she's never had to.  Sadly she believes that is due to her godly, radiant nature.  She has no idea that she was simply born into a particular lifestyle that not everyone can tout.  I told Ken once that he needed to drive her up to Compton to see how the other half really lives, he didn't even acknowledge the comment.  

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Lazy Lori is now Lying Lazy Lori. 

In her meme that when they married she and Ken decided "NEVER" (her word) to mention divorce is, as we all know, a blatant lie. Because Ken brought it up after 20+ years of misery marriage and that's when Lori was convicted after reading Debi Pearl to be a submissive wife.

I think what Lori meant to say was that she would never mention divorce as she didn't want to lose her meal ticket.

And as for being "convicted" ... the only thing she was convicted of was that she was going to pretend to do what whatever was necessary to keep her cushy seat on the Ken gravy train.

[usmcmom]

23 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Lazy Lori is now Lying Lazy Lori. 

In her meme that when they married she and Ken decided "NEVER" (her word) to mention divorce is, as we all know, a blatant lie. Because Ken brought it up after 20+ years of misery marriage and that's when Lori was convicted after reading Debi Pearl to be a submissive wife.

I think what Lori meant to say was that she would never mention divorce as she didn't want to lose her meal ticket.

And as for being "convicted" ... the only thing she was convicted of was that she was going to pretend to do what whatever was necessary to keep her cushy seat on the Ken gravy train.

I’m glad you mentioned this. I wanted to check her book for her exact words on this but I...um...threw it in the garbage when we moved a year ago.  

If anybody else has her book, I’d love to know her exact words on this; even though we all know Ken referred to divorce even if he didn’t actually use the word.  Regardless, we know she is lying again. 

[Sweet Caroline]

6 hours ago, quiversR4hunting said:

to piggy back on @louisa05 & @lilwriter85 the parishes I have been part of are the same. I know of 1 church that let 1 family live in the empty rectory for up to 6 months. It was a super small town, small church and the priest had 2 parishes and lived at the other rectory. So the parish let this family live there for a short time while they came up with money for housing. 

The parish I belong to now is the largest in the Dioceses and the most affluent. The St. Vincent DePaul Society at our church can still only help 15 families a month. I am not sure what they assist with but I know the cap is 15 and it is first come, first serve. Through a "turkey tree" the parish provides food baskets to around 100 families at Thanksgiving. Every basket gets the same food (not the same quantity, it is based on family size. So a single person or a couple would get a turkey breast instead an entire bird, for example). All but the turkeys and physical basket are done by 100% donations from the members. (I think the Knights of Columbus provide the turkey and basket.)

I belong to a Catholic parish in a very large archdiocese. We have Knights of Columbus, St. Vincent de Paul Society, and a Mens’ Club that helps support the school.

As far as helping out with housing, there is a rotating shelter that is provided on Wednesday nights. It opens 7:00 in the evening. A dinner is provided. Student nurses are there for a health check up. There are bags of donated clothing that the guests may take from. In the morning, local bakeries supply leftover goods from the previous day. A bag lunch is handed out and everyone must leave by 7:00 in the morning. The church is not giving out handouts for housing. Once in awhile the pastor will give money for a bus ticket to the shelter downtown that is open 24 hours. 

I don’t know of any church of any denomination in my area that is helping widows and young families. I think Lori needs to do actual research and cite evidence of families who have been blessed with this level of giving. 

[lilwriter85]

1 hour ago, usmcmom said:

I’m glad you mentioned this. I wanted to check her book for her exact words on this but I...um...threw it in the garbage when we moved a year ago.  

If anybody else has her book, I’d love to know her exact words on this; even though we all know Ken referred to divorce even if he didn’t actually use the word.  Regardless, we know she is lying again. 

I recall someone here bought the Kindle version and made references a couple of times. 

[elliha]

In my church deacons and priests are two separate services of God and deacon is not a step towards being a priest. A deacon dedicates themselves towards the social side of church work. They do all kinds of things depending on the needs of the parish they are in. It can be helping the poor, the sick, the elderly or people in general and part of that can be to give financial support.

Often they give support to people who need temporary help say a single mom with strained finances get an unexpected bill the same month the kids needed a full set of winter clothes and then they might help that time but it is not a continued help with money but they may help if that person wants help making sure they get all support they have the right from the government or learn better money management and sometimes the church might offer them to eat for free during church dinners or get some leftover food from them to take home but it is rare that they give money more than once or maybe a few times. The deacons will often try to keep a personal relationship with the people they have helped and check in on them or help in other ways but money is not the primary way.

There is no support of widows for years and years but they might help the widow handle her grief, find a job or apply for benefits or help in other ways but my church would expect a widow to find a job and do her part in supporting herself and her children or if she was retired to use her pension. Churches often have plenty of activities for retired people and if they know you are poor they often let you join for free and this is often a small help since the activities often include some food so there is a meal less that day to pay for. 

I love the deacons of my own parish, they work very hard with the elderly and with the poor and really do make a difference. One of the deacons lead a spiritual group that I partake in and I have been so helped by the discussions here and increased my spirituality. I have no financial needs and I instead donate to the work of the deacons but what I have gotten from this group is priceless. It has changed my life and I know that these people change people's lives every day. 

[onemama]

16 hours ago, Alisamer said:

the Bible was written for the social situations of the day, and how we must look at the historical, social and literary context of the part we are reading, then look at it through the lens of Jesus' example to see how it applies (and if it applies) today

Exactly! 

If she spent enough time in Scripture she would find that widows took care of themselves too. Like widow Ruth, who went out and gleaned in the fields and righteous Boaz didn't tell her to go home and wait for someone to bring her food. 

The passage that talks about the church providing for widows is referring to elderly widows with no family to care for them.  As you say, we can't take one verse and apply it as a rule, for more than one reason. Paul instructed young widows both to marry and stay single. He instructed the church to both provide for widows and to make sure that they didn't take younger widows onto the list... Why?  The older widows would serve the church, be protected by and supported by the church. The younger widows would want to live a normal life, ie get married, have kids... all that stuff. Except, if, as Paul said in 1st Corinthians 7, they wanted to be like him, single and fully dedicated to the Lord. Then what should they do? What a conundrum!

How about just look at the spirit of the issue: widows are in a vulnerable position. Don't abandon them, but help them.  What sort of help depends on the situation. 

1 hour ago, elliha said:

A deacon dedicates themselves towards the social side of church work. They do all kinds of things depending on the needs of the parish they are in. It can be helping the poor, the sick, the elderly or people in general and part of that can be to give financial support.

This, sadly, is not the office of deacons in the churches I know. The first passage that mentions deacons describes their duty as serving the social needs of the church (feeding widows, to be specific).

1 hour ago, elliha said:

There is no support of widows for years and years but they might help the widow handle her grief, find a job or apply for benefits or help in other ways

This makes so much more sense than offering to take care of them financially. I'm sure there are cases where financial help is needed, but helping a widow to get on her feet is much more meaningful in the long run. Her children will learn the value of community to help people back on their feet. Besides, working for her family will give her a sense of purpose and dignity.  In countries like Germany, where there's a good social network, just going to the jobcenter with her, offering to help her with the paperwork, letting her process the grief, can be invaluable.  

I once went with a single mom to the job center because she wanted to apply for some extra financial aid. She worked part-time because her daughter was still very young.  She asked me to go with her because she felt very vulnerable and said that my being there would help her feel less ashamed of her situation. 

[quiversR4hunting]

10 hours ago, usmcmom said:

I’m glad you mentioned this. I wanted to check her book for her exact words on this but I...um...threw it in the garbage when we moved a year ago.  

If anybody else has her book, I’d love to know her exact words on this; even though we all know Ken referred to divorce even if he didn’t actually use the word.  Regardless, we know she is lying again. 

@Curious has (or had) my copy. I also have some screenshots of her book over in the Lori Alexander section of clubs. 

[Free Jana Duggar]

Came across this and thought of Lori.

These are some true Godly women.

https://churchleaders.com/pastors/pastor-articles/275331-5-mighty-women-who-risked-it-all-for-god.html#

[Pink Muffin]

In her Youtube video called "God's transforming power in my life" she says that she don't know if Ken and her would still be married if they weren't belivers. One time Ken told her he only stayed married to her because of the kids

She also says that she never manipulaited Ken with sex ??? what do you call poking holes in your birth control device - oh I know - a funny story. I laughed so loud my cat gave me a dissaproving look. 

Sorry I can't link, I'm on my tablet and don't know how to do that. 

[louisa05]

2 hours ago, elliha said:

In my church deacons and priests are two separate services of God and deacon is not a step towards being a priest. 

The Catholic Church has two separate diaconates. A Transitional Deacon is one that is in the process of becoming a priest.  There are also Permanent Deacons. They are usually married. They serve a variety of purposes depending on the needs of the parish where they are assigned. They can perform baptisms, anoint the sick, and preside over marriages. They assist at masses and can give the homily. 
Among the ministries I know of deacons handling in parishes are the home bound, youth ministries, instruction and sponsorship for converts, low income ministry (which is essentially social services), adult faith formation (leading Bible or book studies), home visits for new parishioners, marriage preparation programs, and many more.  
Unless they are retired, they typically have day jobs as well. The one deacon at our parish teaches middle school math at a public school (I frequently sub for him).  He runs our high school youth ministry with his wife as well as doing many of the above things in our parish.  A deacon in my husband’s grandma’s parish does homebound ministry.  He is retired. He visits her twice a week, provides her with spiritually oriented books, prays with her, keeps her updated about the parish and brings her the Eucharist on Sundays.  He does the same for about 15 other elderly people in the parish. 

I’ve found that many people outside the church have no idea they exist. 

[elliha]

51 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

The Catholic Church has two separate diaconates. A Transitional Deacon is one that is in the process of becoming a priest.  There are also Permanent Deacons. They are usually married. They serve a variety of purposes depending on the needs of the parish where they are assigned. They can perform baptisms, anoint the sick, and preside over marriages. They assist at masses and can give the homily. 
Among the ministries I know of deacons handling in parishes are the home bound, youth ministries, instruction and sponsorship for converts, low income ministry (which is essentially social services), adult faith formation (leading Bible or book studies), home visits for new parishioners, marriage preparation programs, and many more.  
Unless they are retired, they typically have day jobs as well. The one deacon at our parish teaches middle school math at a public school (I frequently sub for him).  He runs our high school youth ministry with his wife as well as doing many of the above things in our parish.  A deacon in my husband’s grandma’s parish does homebound ministry.  He is retired. He visits her twice a week, provides her with spiritually oriented books, prays with her, keeps her updated about the parish and brings her the Eucharist on Sundays.  He does the same for about 15 other elderly people in the parish. 

I’ve found that many people outside the church have no idea they exist. 

Our deacons are paid and normally this is a full time job, if it is part time it is usually because the deacon has asked to work part time for a reason. We also have people who work mostly with children called "parish pedagogue" and this is also usually a full time job but unlike priest and deacons they are not ordained but they must have a teaching degree and take certain theology courses.

Volunteers may help both deacons and parish pedagogues with certain things like visit the sick or be help leaders for a children's group and things like that. Volunteers often also help with different groups for adults as well, for example, the two groups I have taken part in these last two years were supported by the same volunteer and lead by the same deacon.

Our deacons do not baptize or marry people but they they may preach the homily and assist the priest in different ways. Two of the deacons in my parish enjoy singing and when they partake in mass they often do some kind of singing. This is not required, just a bonus but I love it. We also have people like me who are lay people who support the priest during mass and services called church wardens. 

You may be able to preach as a lay person but I think that it cannot be a mass, it has to be a service without mass and I think the bishop gives you permission to do so. I have never done it so I don't know all the details but I have thought about joining the lay preacher group next year and then I would likely be allowed to preach at least once. One of my fellow wardens has preached several times as a lay person but he unlike me has pretty extensive knowledge of theology but is not allowed to be ordained due to old age (generally you cannot be ordained if you are passed regular retirement age and not generally if you are close to that age either since they want you to be able to work at least for a while).

My church allows both married and single people of all genders to become deacons and priests but both priests and deacons are usually married. 

[elliha]

2 hours ago, onemama said:

This makes so much more sense than offering to take care of them financially. I'm sure there are cases where financial help is needed, but helping a widow to get on her feet is much more meaningful in the long run. Her children will learn the value of community to help people back on their feet. Besides, working for her family will give her a sense of purpose and dignity.  In countries like Germany, where there's a good social network, just going to the jobcenter with her, offering to help her with the paperwork, letting her process the grief, can be invaluable.  

I once went with a single mom to the job center because she wanted to apply for some extra financial aid. She worked part-time because her daughter was still very young.  She asked me to go with her because she felt very vulnerable and said that my being there would help her feel less ashamed of her situation. 

I think so too. Giving a sum of money to help to solve an emergency situation is the right thing but for someone where the situation is permanent you have to try to find a long term or permanent solution. I saw that the greater body of parishes within my town has started a financial advice bureau for people who need to learn to better manage their money. It is aimed at those that have some income already but need to learn different ways of using it better. I have not studied it in detail but I think this can really provide a further service that is needed and may make people less vulnerable financially. Of course, some people are doing as good as they can with the money they have but they simply do not have enough money and no ways of getting more and they may need to be given support no matter what.

[louisa05]

19 minutes ago, elliha said:

Our deacons are paid and normally this is a full time job, if it is part time it is usually because the deacon has asked to work part time for a reason. We also have people who work mostly with children called "parish pedagogue" and this is also usually a full time job but unlike priest and deacons they are not ordained but they must have a teaching degree and take certain theology courses.

Volunteers may help both deacons and parish pedagogues with certain things like visit the sick or be help leaders for a children's group and things like that. Volunteers often also help with different groups for adults as well, for example, the two groups I have taken part in these last two years were supported by the same volunteer and lead by the same deacon.

Our deacons do not baptize or marry people but they they may preach the homily and assist the priest in different ways. Two of the deacons in my parish enjoy singing and when they partake in mass they often do some kind of singing. This is not required, just a bonus but I love it. We also have people like me who are lay people who support the priest during mass and services called church wardens. 

You may be able to preach as a lay person but I think that it cannot be a mass, it has to be a service without mass and I think the bishop gives you permission to do so. I have never done it so I don't know all the details but I have thought about joining the lay preacher group next year and then I would likely be allowed to preach at least once. One of my fellow wardens has preached several times as a lay person but he unlike me has pretty extensive knowledge of theology but is not allowed to be ordained due to old age (generally you cannot be ordained if you are passed regular retirement age and not generally if you are close to that age either since they want you to be able to work at least for a while).

My church allows both married and single people of all genders to become deacons and priests but both priests and deacons are usually married. 

I was just making you aware as the phrasing was clearly aimed at the Catholic church for having transitional deacons. And made it sound like a problem. 

Permanent deacons in the Catholic church can be single. They just tend to be married in my experience. Nothing would preclude a single man from being a permanent deacon. 

As for gender, there is currently a commission working on the possibility of ordaining women to the permanent diaconate particularly in places where there are shortages of priests as deacons can administer three of the sacraments and can preside over communion services to distribute already consecrated eucharist. I hope that the church moves in that direction. One possibility is that nuns who are already engaged in ministry could be ordained as permanent deacons to help alleviate the clergy shortage. 

 

[Imrlgoddess]

3 hours ago, Pink Muffin said:

In her Youtube video called "God's transforming power in my life" she says that she don't know if Ken and her would still be married if they weren't belivers. One time Ken told her he only stayed married to her because of the kids

She also says that she never manipulaited Ken with sex ??? what do you call poking holes in your birth control device - oh I know - a funny story. I laughed so loud my cat gave me a dissaproving look. 

Sorry I can't link, I'm on my tablet and don't know how to do that. 

Got it.  I thought it was in the blog, but it was in fact in her video.  It should pick up right where she says "If we weren't believers I don't know that we'd still be married...'the only reason I stay with you is for my children'...." 

 

 

[elliha]

1 hour ago, louisa05 said:

I was just making you aware as the phrasing was clearly aimed at the Catholic church for having transitional deacons. And made it sound like a problem. 

Permanent deacons in the Catholic church can be single. They just tend to be married in my experience. Nothing would preclude a single man from being a permanent deacon. 

As for gender, there is currently a commission working on the possibility of ordaining women to the permanent diaconate particularly in places where there are shortages of priests as deacons can administer three of the sacraments and can preside over communion services to distribute already consecrated eucharist. I hope that the church moves in that direction. One possibility is that nuns who are already engaged in ministry could be ordained as permanent deacons to help alleviate the clergy shortage. 

 

Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to say it is a problem at all, just a difference. As far as I know other churches do have transitional deacons too so it was not aimed at the Catholic church only. I am quite fond of the Catholic church so if I came across as critical it was not my intention. 

As to the development in the Catholic church I have followed this quite closely and I hope the church will allow these changes and hopefully outside of the Amazon as well. I think that there are so many women who would gladly become deacons and as you say, it would improve access to the eucharist to those that don't have access to it. The nuns and other women that already work in the Amazon should be able to be officially recognized for what they do. 

[SilverBeach]

On 11/3/2019 at 12:27 PM, lilwriter85 said:

I can maybe believe the church buying cars for people because a relative of mine was given a used car by her church years ago.

My church didn't buy cars, new or used,  but did give away donated used cars. 

[KDA]

Venturing back into Lori-land today has disturbed me greatly. One woman proudly announced how when she was first married she asked her husband to give her "wife-improvement" lists (my wording, not hers) so she could learn to please him, and how she has continued this practice for the entire 29 years of their marriage. Trey enthusiastically praised her, saying how cherished and loved she must be. I'm inclined to agree with him - you'd think that if she's putting that much effort into pleasing her husband, he'd love and cherish her for sure. But nope, she replied that she is still getting 5-7 corrections every day and feels like a bad wife. 

Why do these women even bother? Seriously, 29 years of putting up with that shit and I'd be kicking his sorry ass to the kerb. She's given him 29 years of devotion and he's still not happy?

This is what is so wrong with Lori's teachings. "Submit more" she says. And then what? When he's still not happy, no matter how hard you try, what then? Some men are just assholes. Sounds like this woman is married to one of them. Lori refuses to see that.

[ladyicantxplain]

 

 

 

1

49 minutes ago, KDA said:

This is what is so wrong with Lori's teachings. "Submit more" she says. And then what? When he's still not happy, no matter how hard you try, what then?

This is because LORI was the narcissist in her marriage (and probably still is, only in a covert way now instead of overtly narcissistic at home towards Ken.)   Lori's behaviors are STILL narcissistic towards most women. She has desired to control via fear-based teachings and spiritually abusive mandates.

This is why she draws an audience of male narcissists. They like that her teachings empower narcissism. Lori has no ability to counsel the woman oppressed by the narcissist because she has never been oppressed by the narcissist. She was the oppressor in her marriage and has now projected this onto her online audience.

Edited November 6, 2019 by ladyicantxplain
typo

[CelticGoddess]

On 11/4/2019 at 7:51 AM, GeoBQn said:

Saw this on Facebook and thought of Lori.  I wonder if she's a member of any of these Facebook groups.

"Black Salve Is A Dangerous Fake Cancer Cure, But It Continues To Flourish In Facebook Groups"

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/katienotopoulos/how-a-flesh-eating-fake-cancer-cure-spread-across-facebook?fbclid=IwAR1gx68Nx9TPOPzPliPIkqGh4acbexGKbZTOMRSJA09sPNN0w_XU0-T0cDM

I once had a patient who used black salve on her abdomen, she says it was a bug bite.  She ended up having to have a huge chunk of her abdomen cut out went home with a wound-vac and still claims that black salve is great.  But then again, these are the same people who believe essential oils ca cure Ebola and water has memory.  

[Dana723]

1 hour ago, KDA said:

Venturing back into Lori-land today has disturbed me greatly. One woman proudly announced how when she was first married she asked her husband to give her "wife-improvement" lists (my wording, not hers) so she could learn to please him, and how she has continued this practice for the entire 29 years of their marriage. Trey enthusiastically praised her, saying how cherished and loved she must be. I'm inclined to agree with him - you'd think that if she's putting that much effort into pleasing her husband, he'd love and cherish her for sure. But nope, she replied that she is still getting 5-7 corrections every day and feels like a bad wife. 

Why do these women even bother? Seriously, 29 years of putting up with that shit and I'd be kicking his sorry ass to the kerb. She's given him 29 years of devotion and he's still not happy?

This is what is so wrong with Lori's teachings. "Submit more" she says. And then what? When he's still not happy, no matter how hard you try, what then? Some men are just assholes. Sounds like this woman is married to one of them. Lori refuses to see that.

At some point, I'd say, "Well, it appears I'll never make you happy.  Bye Felicia!"

[rayneflower]

Long time lurker, first time poster. 

 

Lori has gotten out of control. The fact that she is going back on her own words, saying she and Ken wouldn't have made it one way but then saying that she's 'loved' being married? 

She seems very open about no birth control, but then OPENLY admits she sabotaged her own birth control. 

She wants 'perfect' people. She doesn't want women being proud of their bodies, she doesn't want men to be house husbands, she wants what she wants, and only what she wants. If someone thinks that her way is wrong she immediately corrects them, no matter what they said. She judges people on circumstances that she has never even experienced, she is privileged. Not many people can afford $14 a pound butter or all organic. She doesn't want to believe that people can't live off one income, not in this day and age. She rubs it in people's face that she can go on month(s) long trips, expensive butter, buy all these nice blouses (you know she hasn't been to a thrift store to buy clothes), and her kitchen remodel. People can't afford that with one income. People can barely afford what she brags about on a near daily basis. 

The way she talks she wants people to get married right out of high school, and just start popping out babies. The only way people that you can manage that is if you come from money. No education, no training, just pop out babies. You can't raise children that way, LORI. 

[SongRed7]

Oh great. Marry 'em young today.  Waiting for Vaughn Oldman or whatever that dudes name is to weigh in.  Can I hear 13? 14?

 

[wallysmommy]

Isn't it amazing how Lori's leghumpers defy the statistics and married young and have happily ever after quiverfull marriages.  The one poster who said she might resort to online dating to get her daughters married off needs a kick in the ass and a slap upside the head.  Your daughter is not a horse or a used car.  Do not put her on the Fundie version of 90 Day Fiance.