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Briefly

Mrs. Anna T seems to be changing her mind regarding women working and other things

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Briefly

https://domesticfelicityblog.com/2019/10/08/building-a-financial-safety-net/

I read her blog every so often.  She's always been so militant woman-as-stay-at-home, man-as-breadwinner-head-of-household, etc., and now I think she's had a rude awakening.  Or two, or three.  I also get the feeling that maybe her husband is NOT the wonderful provider she always tried to portray him as, and maybe they have gotten into a much worse financial situation than she's letting on.  Anybody else get this feeling?

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Caroline

I had forgotten about her blog. It's nice to see some of these women grow up and admit that they weren't right about everything.  Is it too late for Lori?

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erunerune

I was just thinking about her the other day. I hadn’t read her blog in years. She’s always been too smart to not come to her senses eventually. I mean that kindly, as someone who took way too long to come to her own senses in some respects. Go Anna T 🙂.

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Sister_Wife

I looked her blog up the other day because it had been so long since I’d checked in on her. I used to read her blog after finding her through the LAF Ladies Against Feminism site. Back before I had my own awakening. From the small glimpses she’s shown through photos and hints from her writing, it looks like they live in squalor. I also think she’s in deep with a man that isn’t the ideal head she had hoped for

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Briefly
22 hours ago, Sister_Wife said:

I looked her blog up the other day because it had been so long since I’d checked in on her. I used to read her blog after finding her through the LAF Ladies Against Feminism site. Back before I had my own awakening. From the small glimpses she’s shown through photos and hints from her writing, it looks like they live in squalor. I also think she’s in deep with a man that isn’t the ideal head she had hoped for

I don't know about the squalor part, but reading her latest blog post makes me really think you are on to something about her husband. She talked about a leak in one of their sinks and that he wasn't interested in fixing it, so she went to the hardware store. She bought the needed pipe, she fixed the problem. I think her eyes are opening but they may not open fully.  But she does seem to realize a few truths, or facts of life if you want to call it that.

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Howl

Wow. That's an eye-opening blog post.  Glad she is not living in the middle of nowhere anymore.  How many kids does she have?

 

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meep

Does she still live in the West Bank?

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Anna T
21 hours ago, meep said:

Does she still live in the West Bank?

No, she doesn't. 

I have registered with the main purpose of stating that we do not live, and have never lived, in anything that a reasonable person would define as "squalor". Though we had occupied, shall we say, unconventional houses in far-flung outposts, and at times had serious issues with electricity and running water; and though I am married to a borderline hoarder and so clutter is like a many-headed monster, I have always taken great care to create pleasant, welcoming, and reasonably (not spotlessly) clean living environment for my family. 

When I first started blogging, I was 21 and unmarried. After over a decade of a very, very bendy road and with four children, it would be surprising if my convictions and outlook on life had remained the same.

Like everybody else, I am learning and growing. I am, hopefully, a little wiser, more flexible, and more forgiving (towards myself and others).

It has been very illuminating to read what people say about me from time to time on this forum. 

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meep
8 hours ago, Anna T said:

No, she doesn't. 

I have registered with the main purpose of stating that we do not live, and have never lived, in anything that a reasonable person would define as "squalor". Though we had occupied, shall we say, unconventional houses in far-flung outposts, and at times had serious issues with electricity and running water; and though I am married to a borderline hoarder and so clutter is like a many-headed monster, I have always taken great care to create pleasant, welcoming, and reasonably (not spotlessly) clean living environment for my family. 

When I first started blogging, I was 21 and unmarried. After over a decade of a very, very bendy road and with four children, it would be surprising if my convictions and outlook on life had remained the same.

Like everybody else, I am learning and growing. I am, hopefully, a little wiser, more flexible, and more forgiving (towards myself and others).

It has been very illuminating to read what people say about me from time to time on this forum. 

Thank you for answering yourself! I used to be a regular blog reader of yours....I want to say a decade ago? Maybe longer than that now. I was a teenager but I was in a strict Christian household, not Jewish. It is very interesting looking back and seeing how all the bloggers I used to follow in my younger years have grown and matured (whether for worse or better!). It sounds like you are in the better pack. I wish you and your family all the luck. 

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Anna T
1 hour ago, meep said:

Thank you for answering yourself! I used to be a regular blog reader of yours....I want to say a decade ago? Maybe longer than that now. I was a teenager but I was in a strict Christian household, not Jewish. It is very interesting looking back and seeing how all the bloggers I used to follow in my younger years have grown and matured (whether for worse or better!). It sounds like you are in the better pack. I wish you and your family all the luck. 

Thank you! We are all growing and learning, hopefully, as life throws curves at us! 

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Waffle Time
Palimpsest

Hello, @Anna T, and thank you for visiting and responding.  I remember your blog from a long time ago but had not looked at it for ages.

I just read your latest post, and I wish it could be made into required reading for many of the young Christian Fundamentalist wives we discuss here.  Yes, we all grow and change in life.

Quote

Being safe doesn’t mean being a wimp. On the contrary, the wimpy choice is sticking one’s head in the sand and refusing to consider tomorrow.

I absolutely agree.  And I am glad you are in a much better place now.

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Caroline
21 hours ago, Anna T said:

No, she doesn't. 

I have registered with the main purpose of stating that we do not live, and have never lived, in anything that a reasonable person would define as "squalor". Though we had occupied, shall we say, unconventional houses in far-flung outposts, and at times had serious issues with electricity and running water; and though I am married to a borderline hoarder and so clutter is like a many-headed monster, I have always taken great care to create pleasant, welcoming, and reasonably (not spotlessly) clean living environment for my family. 

When I first started blogging, I was 21 and unmarried. After over a decade of a very, very bendy road and with four children, it would be surprising if my convictions and outlook on life had remained the same.

Like everybody else, I am learning and growing. I am, hopefully, a little wiser, more flexible, and more forgiving (towards myself and others).

It has been very illuminating to read what people say about me from time to time on this forum. 

I've always admired your calm demeanor and dedication to what you believe in for your family.  I was a little afraid at first because you seemed so black/white like so many fundamentalists in the US.  But it was also obvious that you were a smart, thinking person.  I knew you would find a way to open your mind eventually without sacrificing your convictions.  Congrats on your four children. I know it's a lot of work to raise children.  Are you still writing fiction, or do you lack time for that?  I read some of your things and was impressed.  (I'm the mother of a young writer who is currently working on a MFA in creative writing.) 

 

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Anna T
On 10/13/2019 at 6:37 PM, Caroline said:

I've always admired your calm demeanor and dedication to what you believe in for your family.  I was a little afraid at first because you seemed so black/white like so many fundamentalists in the US.  But it was also obvious that you were a smart, thinking person.  I knew you would find a way to open your mind eventually without sacrificing your convictions.  Congrats on your four children. I know it's a lot of work to raise children.  Are you still writing fiction, or do you lack time for that?  I read some of your things and was impressed.  (I'm the mother of a young writer who is currently working on a MFA in creative writing.) 

 

Thank you, Caroline! Yes, in fact, I am now a published author of both fiction and nonfiction, with three book series and several standalone novels under my belt. I write under the pen name of Hannah Ross, and you can find the links to my books on my blog if you would like to take a look :)

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Anna T
On 10/13/2019 at 4:41 PM, Palimpsest said:

Hello, @Anna T, and thank you for visiting and responding.  I remember your blog from a long time ago but had not looked at it for ages.

I just read your latest post, and I wish it could be made into required reading for many of the young Christian Fundamentalist wives we discuss here.  Yes, we all grow and change in life.

I absolutely agree.  And I am glad you are in a much better place now.

If I can reach and warn even one starry-eyed young wife with Laura Ingalls dreams, it would make everything I wrote worthwhile. Those dreams and lifestyle can and do work out for many, and that's great. But it's only wise to consider every possibility. 

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Briefly

I realize that I may have sounded abrupt and I didn't mean to sound rude and I am sorry if I did.. But I am glad you answered.

Yes, things and circumstances do change, life throws curves at us often, as you said.

What I got from some of your earlier blog posts seemed very insistent that women have to stay home, that it's wrong to put children in day care and that men have to be the breadwinners, As someone who was only able to stay home with my daughter for the second year of her life, I realized early on that being a SAHM is pretty much impossible for many families. I had the feeling that you didn't think that it was acceptable that women/moms work, and (my opinion only!) was that you did come across as a little inflexible about it.  Which I also admit I have a tendency to do! As anyone who knows me will agree,

Also, the crocheted cardi on your blog is lovely.

 

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Caroline
5 hours ago, Anna T said:

Thank you, Caroline! Yes, in fact, I am now a published author of both fiction and nonfiction, with three book series and several standalone novels under my belt. I write under the pen name of Hannah Ross, and you can find the links to my books on my blog if you would like to take a look :)

Congrats on your writing success!  I will check out Hannah Ross.  I'm always looking for ways to encourage my own daughter. 

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Anna T
12 hours ago, Briefly said:

I realize that I may have sounded abrupt and I didn't mean to sound rude and I am sorry if I did.. But I am glad you answered.

Yes, things and circumstances do change, life throws curves at us often, as you said.

What I got from some of your earlier blog posts seemed very insistent that women have to stay home, that it's wrong to put children in day care and that men have to be the breadwinners, As someone who was only able to stay home with my daughter for the second year of her life, I realized early on that being a SAHM is pretty much impossible for many families. I had the feeling that you didn't think that it was acceptable that women/moms work, and (my opinion only!) was that you did come across as a little inflexible about it.  Which I also admit I have a tendency to do! As anyone who knows me will agree,

Also, the crocheted cardi on your blog is lovely.

 

Please don't worry. I have received my share of rudeness during the years, and have learned not to engage with anything that sounds or feels disrespectful. What you said wasn't even remotely so. ☺ 

I think that gaining some life experience has helped me acquire a more balanced and flexible view, on the one hand; while on the other, I'm a lot more focused now on what my family and I are doing, and what works for us, and barely look and think at what others have found works for them and their families. 

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Depressed
Curious

Just stopping by to welcome @Anna T to Free Jinger.  I'm glad you came to answer for yourself.    Please feel free to jump in anywhere.   I'm sure your experience could be helpful to others. 

I think you might be a bit unusual from some of the people we discuss here because you are willing to admit people grow and change and that's ok!  

A lot of folks seem to either refuse to grow/change much at all or if they do they don't admit it.  Some of the people we discuss have changed rather radically over the years and there is never an explanation for how those changes came about.  Not that anyone is owed answers, necessarily but for people that have blogged about their very inflexible views for many years and then suddenly go in the opposite direction with nary a word on why their views changed is a little unbalancing.

I just went and read your post and I agree with @Palimpsest that so many young fundamentalist women we discuss here could benefit from reading it.

I am sure being discussed here is not something that generally gives warm fuzzies to the person being discussed, but I'm sure you've been reading here long enough to know that while it may involve some snark and in some cases too much BEC, the majority of members do actually care about the women and children (and men) that are being so deeply affected by their lifestyles.

I hope that now that you have taken the plunge you will stick around :) 

Edited by Curious
it's always riffles

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Anna T
1 minute ago, Curious said:

Just stopping by to welcome @Anna T to Free Jinger.  I'm glad you came to answer for yourself.    Please feel free to jump in anywhere.   I'm sure your experience could be helpful to others. 

I think you might be a bit unusual from some of the people we discuss here because you are willing to admit people grow and change and that's ok!  

A lot of folks seem to either refuse to grow/change much at all or if they do they don't admit it.  Some of the people we discuss have changed rather radically over the years and there is never an explanation for how those changes came about.  Not that anyone is owed answers, necessarily but for people that have blogged about their very inflexible views for many years and then suddenly go in the opposite direction with nary a word on why their views changed is a little unbalancing.

I just went and read your post and I agree with @Palimpsest that so many young fundamentalist women we discuss here could benefit from reading it.

I am sure being discussed here is not something that generally gives warm fuzzies to the person being discussed, but I'm sure you've been reading here long enough to know that while it may involve some snark and in some cases too much BEC, the majority of members do actually care about the women and children (and men) that are being so deeply affected by their lifestyles.

I hope you now that you have taken the plunge you will stick around :) 

Thank you for the kind words!

To tell you the truth, the first thought that popped into my head when I first discovered there were threads about me here was, "I can't believe anyone would find me important enough to discuss". But then I realized it's not really about me, it's something much bigger. 

Sure seems like an interesting forum and I have found many enlightening topics. 

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Depressed
Curious
2 minutes ago, Anna T said:

Thank you for the kind words!

To tell you the truth, the first thought that popped into my head when I first discovered there were threads about me here was, "I can't believe anyone would find me important enough to discuss". But then I realized it's not really about me, it's something much bigger. 

Sure seems like an interesting forum and I have found many enlightening topics. 

I hope you stick around and join in.   I forgot to mention in my other post that the sweater showing on your blog right now is so lovely.   I took a peek at your crochet tag and I love that jute basket.  I was looking for a basket tutorial a few months ago.  I was making some dishcloths for my daughter-in-law and thought a little basket she could put on the counter so they were easy to grab would be nice.

I found a tutorial but ended up with a bit of a floppy basket.  I see you have a hint for fixing that so I will try that next time.  I've never tried crocheting with Jute, but I think I can get it at the dollar store here so I'm going to give it a try.

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Anna T
6 minutes ago, Curious said:

I hope you stick around and join in.   I forgot to mention in my other post that the sweater showing on your blog right now is so lovely.   I took a peek at your crochet tag and I love that jute basket.  I was looking for a basket tutorial a few months ago.  I was making some dishcloths for my daughter-in-law and thought a little basket she could put on the counter so they were easy to grab would be nice.

I found a tutorial but ended up with a bit of a floppy basket.  I see you have a hint for fixing that so I will try that next time.  I've never tried crocheting with Jute, but I think I can get it at the dollar store here so I'm going to give it a try.

Thank you!! I have long wanted to make storage baskets to use instead of utilitarian plastic bins. I got some major inspiration from my Ethiopian neighbors who make amazing baskets that are true works of art; there's an interesting technique of weaving yarn around palm leaf threads as one works, using a tapestry needle. I can't do that yet, but crochet is easy and accessible and you can make almost anything. ☺ 

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Depressed
Curious
2 minutes ago, Anna T said:

Thank you!! I have long wanted to make storage baskets to use instead of utilitarian plastic bins. I got some major inspiration from my Ethiopian neighbors who make amazing baskets that are true works of art; there's an interesting technique of weaving yarn around palm leaf threads as one works, using a tapestry needle. I can't do that yet, but crochet is easy and accessible and you can make almost anything. ☺ 

I love to crochet.  I made so many things for my new grandbaby before she even got here that my kids were like "we love you, but we are going to have to put stuff in storage if you don't STOP!!!"   They have yet to complain when I make an afghan for one of them though ;)  

I did a google search and think I found the Ethiopian baskets you are talking about.  They look amazing.  If you learn how to make them I hope you share pictures :) 

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Meh
acheronbeach

Wow!  I didn't realize you were still blogging.  I remember back in the old LAF days that your blog really stood out amongst the traditional Christians on there.  Your posts about the living situation in the West Bank also made it sound a bit like the wild west.  I hope your new home is safe and secure.  

I haven't got any questions - just wanted to say how impressed I am that you've stopped by, particularly since your blog attracted a TON of harsh criticism when it was a hotly debated on FJ several years ago.  

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Anna T
1 hour ago, acheronbeach said:

Wow!  I didn't realize you were still blogging.  I remember back in the old LAF days that your blog really stood out amongst the traditional Christians on there.  Your posts about the living situation in the West Bank also made it sound a bit like the wild west.  I hope your new home is safe and secure.  

I haven't got any questions - just wanted to say how impressed I am that you've stopped by, particularly since your blog attracted a TON of harsh criticism when it was a hotly debated on FJ several years ago.  

I must have missed those particular posts 😁 I wonder if I should dig them up!

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Anna T
1 hour ago, Anna T said:

I must have missed those particular posts 😁 I wonder if I should dig them up!

OK. I did dig them up (and now I wish I hadn't). Some thoughts right off the bat:

1. Whoa, someone (more than one person) actually had the time not just to read the ramblings of little ol' me, but actually to discuss them so exhaustively? Man, I had no idea I was that interesting 😁 

2. Never assume you really know someone from reading their blog. Some things inevitably get twisted out of context (I was never on birth control, but I did suffer from some hormonal imbalances that led to fertility issues.). 

3. Generally, the older I get, the less I care what other people think of me. This is a gift I appreciate to the utmost when reading someone describe me as "vicious piece of excrement" (classy) and "bitch" (boring). Ten years ago I might have cried. Today I shrug and move on. 

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