Nathan 4: Competing With Lawson for Title of Most Insufferable

[Fighter]

On 9/11/2020 at 1:03 AM, Italiangirl said:

This scene was filmed sometime between this spring and early summer giving that it was on show and not a talking head or something more live as to speak, so do you think that something will change now? I mean now that he has come out saying he promises to someone or however he phrases it, do you think he will make some more official move, like setting a public Instagram or will he keep everything covered and wait till engagement before saying something more and we will see flashbacks of their courting on next season?

I was thinking he did that to protect himself in case they broke up. Why would you go as setting up fake social media accounts just to keep someone secret? Why would you setup social media accounts? The fake social media accounts but his sister just happens to post her pictures on YouTube? That doesn’t add up!

[AussieKrissy]

did Nathan actually come out and say he is promised to some one? wait what? how did i miss that?

[fundiebabez]

12 minutes ago, AussieKrissy said:

did Nathan actually come out and say he is promised to some one? wait what? how did i miss that?

Nathan said on the latest BUB episode that he’s promised to someone but plans to keep it a secret (from the public) for a little while longer. 

[Italiangirl]

3 hours ago, Fighter said:

I was thinking he did that to protect himself in case they broke up. Why would you go as setting up fake social media accounts just to keep someone secret? Why would you setup social media accounts? The fake social media accounts but his sister just happens to post her pictures on YouTube? That doesn’t add up!

Why are you thinking about a fake account?

I was thinking if he would come out publicly in the next weeks, or if since he said he wants to keep private will wait till the engagement before saying anything more. The new season is already in progress I think they are filming now or they will soon since usually, BuB has a "winter" season that films Christmas and I love you day and a "summer" one that has just ended we ith the ep in which he talks about his promise ring 

[Italiangirl]

Wow, what a range of way to dress between all the sibling in these photos, does she has Mennonite ancestors? It seems that someone has slipped the private account of Nathan in the comment...oops 

The exray12345 is a private account followed by Carlin, Josie, Erin and Chad, John and Abbie, Zach and Withney, Tori and Bobbi. 

[Tangy Bee]

I'm getting anxiety just thinking about how big her wedding party will be one day. Is her family a "save the 1st kiss" type of fundies as well?

[OHFL2009]

30 minutes ago, Italiangirl said:

Wow, what a range of way to dress between all the sibling in these photos, does she has Mennonite ancestors? 

I was wondering that myself. I live in an area with a lot of Amish and Mennonite, and when I scanned through her (public) Facebook friends list the other day, I recognized a lot of common last names. I know the area where she lives has a very large Amish and Mennonite population, so I wasn't sure if her family has that background or if it was just who she knows growing up there.  

[Kelsey]

Well they may as well announce now. The secret is uncovered. 

They've got every kind of female dress from short shorts to long frumper. They support diversity, i see.

[becky_m2001]

2 hours ago, Tangy Bee said:

I'm getting anxiety just thinking about how big her wedding party will be one day. Is her family a "save the 1st kiss" type of fundies as well?

I don't think so. Her sister Leah posted a picture of her kissing her boyfriend on IG a few days ago.

2 hours ago, Italiangirl said:

Wow, what a range of way to dress between all the sibling in these photos, does she has Mennonite ancestors? It seems that someone has slipped the private account of Nathan in the comment...oops 

The exray12345 is a private account followed by Carlin, Josie, Erin and Chad, John and Abbie, Zach and Withney, Tori and Bobbi. 

I know who did that and I am furious about it! ?

[Italiangirl]

Wait you mean you know who is gladysharp @becky_m2001? So you can confirm is a true account and not some fans who are trying to engage with them? 

[Fighter]

13 hours ago, Italiangirl said:

Why are you thinking about a fake account?

I was thinking if he would come out publicly in the next weeks, or if since he said he wants to keep private will wait till the engagement before saying anything more. The new season is already in progress I think they are filming now or they will soon since usually, BuB has a "winter" season that films Christmas and I love you day and a "summer" one that has just ended we ith the ep in which he talks about his promise ring 

Because Nathan set up fake social media accounts. But then again maybe he just wanted to be able to follow her without being harassed by BUB fans. Your right it also could be setting up for future seasons.

[OHFL2009]

42 minutes ago, Fighter said:

Because Nathan set up fake social media accounts. But then again maybe he just wanted to be able to follow her without being harassed by BUB fans. Your right it also could be setting up for future seasons.

It's not unusual for "celebrities" to have public facing social media accounts as well as private accounts that are much more locked down. Or in Nathan's case, only a private account. Many celebrities have a rinsta (real instagram) and a finsta (fake instagram) and similarly public/private Facebook accounts in order to share a carefully curated public image while still being able to share funny/personal/random stuff with their close friends. I know some college/high school age kids that do the same in order to share things with their friends that they wouldn't want their parents or grandparents or teachers to see. 

[Jigsaw3]

Alyssa Webster also has a finsta and I wouldn't be surprised if some of her other siblings or the Duggars do too.

I support that: it allows them to have privacy while also using their public accounts for their fans. I'd prefer if they made all their socials private, for their kids' sakes, but at least there's some brain power applied to what is suitable for public consumption.

(I have no idea what Alyssa's finsta is, and I don't support fishing for it.)

[front hugs > duggs]

I've also seen Kelly comment on her kids Instagram posts from a private account.

[Italiangirl]

I'm clearly way too involved in these families' lives but, I was thinking that maybe Nathan's promise ring could be something like they have decided they want to wait till a certain date before being official? Like Anna Duggar who had decided she wanted to wait for her 20th bday before getting engaged...

So maybe they have done something like this and now are near or on the data, they have decided and are coming clear?

Ok, I guess I need to sleep. It'almost 3 a.m. here and I should stop wondering why they do or say what they do. 

[Italiangirl]

Are those beers on the table? Will the Bates parents get a heart attack seeing this (if they are beers) or will they be ok since they will probably justify saying it was just some of the man or the boyfriend of one of the girls who seems less fundie (kissing before marriage, shorts short, etc) ?

[formergothardite]

7 minutes ago, Italiangirl said:

Are those beers on the table? Will the Bates parents get a heart attack seeing this (if they are beers) or will they be ok since they will probably justify saying it was just some of the man or the boyfriend of one of the girls who seems less fundie (kissing before marriage, shorts short, etc

I think they have always seemed way less about having their sons stick to all the rules.  Which is why the daughters had to be covered for modesty while Kelly was posting pictures of her sons that left little to the imagination. They seem to adopt the attitude that girls need to be put in a relationship as young as possible to keep them from straying, but boys will be boys and get to go have fun.

Letting the sons have freedom, combined with the story about how Gil didn't even want Kelly to be able to shop for groceries, it makes sense that the Bates sons have such a hard time finding spouses. They have been raised in a type of super nasty patriarchy that makes them very unlikable. 

 

[JanasTattooParlor]

1 hour ago, Italiangirl said:

Are those beers on the table? Will the Bates parents get a heart attack seeing this (if they are beers) or will they be ok since they will probably justify saying it was just some of the man or the boyfriend of one of the girls who seems less fundie (kissing before marriage, shorts short, etc) ?

Those are definitely Miller Lite cans on the table. As much as I think Gil and Kelly are super lenient for the boys, I really think that they’d not be okay with alcohol. That’s a huge no with Gothard fundies. It wouldn’t look good for the boys to even be around people who are openly drinking, and it probably especially doesn’t look good for a girl to be around it. 

[OrchidBlossom]

@becky_m2001 I’m 2 pages behind so feel free to ignore me if you’ve answered this. But I’d love to know more about how your opinion of these families evolved over time? I think it’s fair to say we are all fascinated by them, but how did you go from hardcore stan to joining FJ? I know you discussed how you came to like them from your background, which makes sense, but I’d also like to know more about what things the families have done that shattered that illusion for you? And where you feel you’ve landed in your opinion of them? Do you have any pet fundies?

[becky_m2001]

1 hour ago, OrchidBlossom said:

@becky_m2001 I’m 2 pages behind so feel free to ignore me if you’ve answered this. But I’d love to know more about how your opinion of these families evolved over time? I think it’s fair to say we are all fascinated by them, but how did you go from hardcore stan to joining FJ? I know you discussed how you came to like them from your background, which makes sense, but I’d also like to know more about what things the families have done that shattered that illusion for you? And where you feel you’ve landed in your opinion of them? Do you have any pet fundies?

I started seeing chinks in their perfect facade in 2015 with the Josh scandals, even though I tried like hell to ignore it. I still sometimes find myself envious of the relationships the siblings have with each other, but I've learned enough to know that even that is often programmed for an audience. The double standards with what's expected of women and men is one of the big issues and it's probably Lawson that really clinched it for me. Seeing him shooting music videos where he's getting all cozy with girls he doesn't even know while his sisters were barely allowed to touch the men they planned on marrying was really infuriating. Their "boys will be boys" attitude and "women are responsible for controlling men's thoughts and behaviors" was starting to grind my gears.

I've been on the fence about them for a few years and, given my own past, I'll probably always be fascinated with them. The one thing I'm a sucker for is the babies! I love babies, don't want any of my own, but I'm a total softie when a new baby arrives. Until I remind myself what their life is going to be like someday.

Seeing them for what they really are has been hard because a part of me still wants to believe in the fairy tale. But fairy tales don't always have happy endings and perfect families don't exist. The harder they try to sell the perfection the more I find myself pulling away because it's a facade and it's not going to do anything but make me more miserable about my own family situation and my own past.

1 hour ago, JanasTattooParlor said:

Those are definitely Miller Lite cans on the table. As much as I think Gil and Kelly are super lenient for the boys, I really think that they’d not be okay with alcohol. That’s a huge no with Gothard fundies. It wouldn’t look good for the boys to even be around people who are openly drinking, and it probably especially doesn’t look good for a girl to be around it. 

Maybe that's why Nathan has been slow to make an announcement. He's not getting approval for the relationship from Gil & Kelly.

[OrchidBlossom]

1 minute ago, becky_m2001 said:

I started seeing chinks in their perfect facade in 2015 with the Josh scandals, even though I tried like hell to ignore it. I still sometimes find myself envious of the relationships the siblings have with each other, but I've learned enough to know that even that is often programmed for an audience. The double standards with what's expected of women and men is one of the big issues and it's probably Lawson that really clinched it for me. Seeing him shooting music videos where he's getting all cozy with girls he doesn't even know while his sisters were barely allowed to touch the men they planned on marrying was really infuriating. Their "boys will be boys" attitude and "women are responsible for controlling men's thoughts and behaviors" was starting to grind my gears.

I've been on the fence about them for a few years and, given my own past, I'll probably always be fascinated with them. The one thing I'm a sucker for is the babies! I love babies, don't want any of my own, but I'm a total softie when a new baby arrives. Until I remind myself what their life is going to be like someday.

Seeing them for what they really are has been hard because a part of me still wants to believe in the fairy tale. But fairy tales don't always have happy endings and perfect families don't exist. The harder they try to sell the perfection the more I find myself pulling away because it's a facade and it's not going to do anything but make me more miserable about my own family situation and my own past.

That’s all very interesting, thanks for sharing! Welcome to FJ. I’d recommend bringing a lot of popcorn, goes great with the snark.

[formergothardite]

12 hours ago, JanasTattooParlor said:

Those are definitely Miller Lite cans on the table. As much as I think Gil and Kelly are super lenient for the boys, I really think that they’d not be okay with alcohol. That’s a huge no with Gothard fundies. It wouldn’t look good for the boys to even be around people who are openly drinking, and it probably especially doesn’t look good for a girl to be around it. 

I'm sure they wouldn't want them to drink just like they would rather Alyssa not wear leggings and shorts, but it is probably a lot how like Jim Bob and Michelle were perfectly fine hanging out with the Vision Forum fundies who were all about drinking and dancing.  It is also very much like how dancing is a hug no with Gothard fundies, but they were perfectly fine with one of their sons attempting to be in the Dixie Stampede which required he learn how to dance. Gil and Kelly toss their high minded standards to the side when it is convenient. 

10 hours ago, becky_m2001 said:

He's not getting approval for the relationship from Gil & Kelly.

A wife he can bring into the fold and control is going to be more acceptable than having a daughter who would marry and be under the control of the man who believed in drinking. The fundie circles are getting smaller and smaller so I think we are going to see a whole lot more marriages between the various types of fundies. So by the time the younger daughters get married Gil might have to cave and let them marry a drinking, dancing fundie. 

Most likely after he was humiliated by it being very public that a woman rejected him he is trying to keep in quieter until they are 100% sure she is going marry Nathan. The last thing Gil and Kelly need is the world to see another woman run far away from one of their sons. 

[llucie]

16 hours ago, Italiangirl said:

Are those beers on the table? Will the Bates parents get a heart attack seeing this (if they are beers) or will they be ok since they will probably justify saying it was just some of the man or the boyfriend of one of the girls who seems less fundie (kissing before marriage, shorts short, etc) ?

Not all Esther family seems fundie. Some of her siblings are mainstream christians, while some others wear headcovers and seem mennonite. It seems like her relationship with Nathan has been going on for a while so surely at this point he is aware of this and doesnt expect everyone around her to adhere to fundie rules of no alcohol. But if they end up marrying i wonder if she will be allowed to still attend this type of family gatherings or not.

[Italiangirl]

I know not all her family seems to be fundie or at least of the same strict kind, but what I mean is has probably been explaining for the better by @formergothardite, the pool to choose the spouse is shrinking and the Bates parents always have a double standard regarding how sons and daughters conduct themselves but still I would get very pissed if I saw that my brothers are allowed to date girls who can drink or at least be around people who drink alcohol ? can wear short shorts before being married, kiss their boyfriend before marriage or beeing all cozy with girls they haven't previously met in lieu of music video *cough Lawson cough*

[formergothardite]

22 minutes ago, Italiangirl said:

but still I would get very pissed if I saw that my brothers are allowed to date girls who can drink or at least be around people who drink alcohol ? can wear short shorts before being married, kiss their boyfriend before marriage or beeing all cozy with girls they haven't previously met in lieu of music video *cough Lawson cough*

One of these daughters have to question that the boys get to have so much freedom and the daughters can only have any sort of freedom through a young marriage. There is no way in hell Gil and Kelly would have supported a daughter learning to dance so she could try out for the Dixie Stampede. Daughters are pushed towards a relationship as soon as they are over the age of 18 which helps put a damper on any sort of independent ideas.