Erin & Chad 6: Angling for a Vow Renewal Ceremony

[nausicaa]

15 minutes ago, adidas said:

I don’t follow the Bates family as much as I follow others ... can someone please confirm that this little girl is the one some people are saying is not a physical beauty? Is not a cutie? Is regular? Is average?

Y’all shoulda been to spec savers. She’s adorable imo.

The weird toddler/preschool beauty contests that occasionally pop up on this site are always so weird to me, but especially in this case, because she's a super cute little girl, imo. 

(Maybe my family just makes ugly babies?)

Like even if we assume Erin is a heartless, superficial bitch, she has a blonde, healthy sized daughter with no discernible disabilities or facial issues. I think she makes a good doll for mommy to dress up, if that's what Erin wants?

But I think it's important to point out at no point has Erin ever commented on Brooklyn's appearance. I think some people have such a hate hard on for Erin's big hair and perfectionism they've created a bizarre villain fanfic about her. 

I also remember people commenting on how strange Allie looked as a baby and speculating if she were special needs. Now we have people betting that she will be the most beautiful of her cousins. 

Edited May 15, 2020 by nausicaa

[TuringMachine]

I do think Erin shows favoritism towards Carson, but I think it's based the fact that he was her first miracle baby after multiple miscarriages. 

[WiseGirl]

What the hell? Judging a three year old? Nice. */sarcasm. 

Once again just like the Duggars I can't keep up with the grandkids and often can't tell them apart.  There are just too many of them they all start blending in together.

[Zebedee]

On 5/12/2020 at 4:15 AM, AussieKrissy said:

she will receive indoctrination in my home.... the ways of the force

how to live long and prosper 

 

Will you adopt me, lol?

[TheRadleyPorch]

I think all the Bates grandkids are cute, but like it or not, there ARE very pervasive societal ideas of what makes a child cute/pretty, from a very young age. Even an infant--it's pretty consistently reinforced that cute baby has big cheeks, big eyes, some hair but not too much, smooth skin, no obvious birth marks, no cleft lip, etc etc. There have always been social ideas of what makes a cute baby, a cute toddler, a pretty child, a sexy woman. To say that a three year old doesn't match a certain societal standard (which likely is Erin's standard) for looks is only "insulting" or "judging" that three year old if you believe that there is value in that standard. Otherwise it's just a statement with no value judgment either way, and more of a (speculative) judgment of Erin for possibly valuing that standard. Like ideas from the fat acceptance movement about calling yourself/someone else fat--its taboo because we judge fat as a bad thing, rather than just a thing you are like tall curly-haired. (Not that I say someone is fat unless they use that word for themselves, because it is so loaded and many people are not comfortable with that identifier because of how we've stigmatized it). Like I said, I do think all the kids are cute, but I also think the horror at someone saying a kid does not have classic oshkosh b'gosh model looks is kind of reinforcing the idea that looks DO matter and and there IS value in that standard of cuteness/beauty.

[AussieKrissy]

3 hours ago, Zebedee said:

Will you adopt me, lol?

The more the merrier. Come on down (under). 
first though can you wipe your own bum? Kind of over wiping mine and the four year olds.  Not looking to add that lol 

[freethemall]

Sooo Erin's newest post about the Abeka curriculum videos pros/cons...is it just me or is there some shade being thrown on Alyssa?

I'm shocked she mentions the cons of the videos (expensive,  screen time) and then indicates you have to actively guide the kid while watching, not let it babysit them. Meanwhile we've seen Alyssa leave Allie with the  videos and walk away, doing exactly what Erin says not to do. Interesting. 

[AussieKrissy]

3 minutes ago, freethemall said:

Sooo Erin's newest post about the Abeka curriculum videos pros/cons...is it just me or is there some shade being thrown on Alyssa?

I'm shocked she mentions the cons of the videos (expensive,  screen time) and then indicates you have to actively guide the kid while watching, not let it babysit them. Meanwhile we've seen Alyssa leave Allie with the  videos and walk away, doing exactly what Erin says not to do. Interesting. 

I thought that too. Does Erin read here? 

[Melissa1977]

5 hours ago, AussieKrissy said:

I thought that too. Does Erin read here? 

Alyssa reads. After we wrote a lot of comments about her poor girls only watch TV, she posted them doing crafts, written school chores and other activities.

5 hours ago, freethemall said:

Sooo Erin's newest post about the Abeka curriculum videos pros/cons...is it just me or is there some shade being thrown on Alyssa?

I'm shocked she mentions the cons of the videos (expensive,  screen time) and then indicates you have to actively guide the kid while watching, not let it babysit them. Meanwhile we've seen Alyssa leave Allie with the  videos and walk away, doing exactly what Erin says not to do. Interesting. 

Erin was a good student (was even offered a scholarship in a real university) and worked as a music teacher for years. She KNOWS that watching TV for hours is not the same than being teached live.

[SassyPants]

Erin also said that she doesn’t leave Carson’s side while he is doing his work. She must have an aunt mom in residence to care for the 3 little girls, either that or they’ve been blanket trained. 

[Melissa1977]

48 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Erin also said that she doesn’t leave Carson’s side while he is doing his work. She must have an aunt mom in residence to care for the 3 little girls, either that or they’ve been blanket trained. 

Or she lies and uses tv as a nanny, because she has a baby, a toddler and 2 little children and no magical powers, as far as we know.

[Bazinga]

I'm guessing she knows the feedback Alyssa got for posted about Allie's school, so she is being more cautious to avoid the negative feedback. I just don't understand why they love this program so much. You can find better, cheaper curriculum options for kindergarten. All of which probably takes an hour or less to complete (this is assuming your kindergartner is the only child your currently homeschooling). I couldn't imagine sitting my kids in front of a TV for hours. 

Also, another thought. Carson just turned 5 correct, and he graduated kindergarten? I don't understand why fundies start their oldest so early these days. Preschool, sure, yes, do it!! But a four year old doing kindergarten? Might be great now, but will she be willing to repeat a grade when he is 8 and starting to struggle. I should add, I realize this doesn't happen all the time, but as a school teacher I almost always see a significant learnig difference in my kinder boys who start closer to six, than those with summer/late spring birthdays and starting after just turning 5. I realize every kid is different. He could be a little genius. But from my own personal opinion in the profession, I rarely see this happen.

[AliceInFundyland]

@TheRadleyPorch

The initial disagreement was that Erin herself was promoting this idea. She didn't say anything close to it. And then OP doubled down with  ideas about Gothardism promoting beauty and the like. All of that is true, and what you say isn't necessarily wrong but when we start speculating about things beyond what the fundies actually SAY, that's when so many of us have a problem. They're problematic enough without us generating myths.

Discussing attractiveness of children (or adults) is, to me, a separate issue.

[TheRadleyPorch]

@AliceInFundyland I agree with all that, though to me it seemed like significantly more of the outcry over the OP's post was due to her assertion that Brooklyn is not as conventionally cute/pretty as some of the other kids, not her assertion that Erin doesn't favor Brooklyn because of looks.

[AliceInFundyland]

1 hour ago, TheRadleyPorch said:

@AliceInFundyland I agree with all that, though to me it seemed like significantly more of the outcry over the OP's post was due to her assertion that Brooklyn is not as conventionally cute/pretty as some of the other kids, not her assertion that Erin doesn't favor Brooklyn because of looks.

Yeah, you aren't wrong. ? Such is the nature of a FJ rambling argument. It develops/derails/whatever. I guess we agree about the disagreement ?

[JordynDarby5]

So is Erin homeschooling Carson and Brooklyn, is Tori teaching them, a mixture, was that for show like Ben suddenly teaching the younger Duggars, or did she have to take over due to the quarantine? Or did Tori quit after Kolter was born? They had that one episode with Tori teaching Carson, Brooklyn, Bradley and Kaci. 

[Melissa1977]

1 hour ago, JordynDarby5 said:

So is Erin homeschooling Carson and Brooklyn, is Tori teaching them, a mixture, was that for show like Ben suddenly teaching the younger Duggars, or did she have to take over due to the quarantine? Or did Tori quit after Kolter was born? They had that one episode with Tori teaching Carson, Brooklyn, Bradley and Kaci. 

Maybe Tori is the family teacher once or twice a week, and they are TV-schooled the other days? 

I don't know how a grumpy, impatient woman can handle a toddler (how old is Kade?) and a baby and teach 4 more children. I suppose they pay her! 

Only with Erin, Zach and hers, in a few years she will have 9 kids to teach (and a new set of toddler+baby of her own). 

[Lgirlrocks]

On 5/16/2020 at 2:34 PM, Bazinga said:

I'm guessing she knows the feedback Alyssa got for posted about Allie's school, so she is being more cautious to avoid the negative feedback. I just don't understand why they love this program so much. You can find better, cheaper curriculum options for kindergarten. All of which probably takes an hour or less to complete (this is assuming your kindergartner is the only child your currently homeschooling). I couldn't imagine sitting my kids in front of a TV for hours. 

Also, another thought. Carson just turned 5 correct, and he graduated kindergarten? I don't understand why fundies start their oldest so early these days. Preschool, sure, yes, do it!! But a four year old doing kindergarten? Might be great now, but will she be willing to repeat a grade when he is 8 and starting to struggle. I should add, I realize this doesn't happen all the time, but as a school teacher I almost always see a significant learnig difference in my kinder boys who start closer to six, than those with summer/late spring birthdays and starting after just turning 5. I realize every kid is different. He could be a little genius. But from my own personal opinion in the profession, I rarely see this happen.

My mom started home schooling me a year earlier then if I had gone out for school. Her reasoning was I wanted to learn. When I went out for school I was held back a year, eighth grade, because of my age. It was my moms choice not mine. It was kind of a good thing because my schooling wasn’t good. I only excelled at reading and math. 

[Bazinga]

14 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

Maybe Tori is the family teacher once or twice a week, and they are TV-schooled the other days? 

I don't know how a grumpy, impatient woman can handle a toddler (how old is Kade?) and a baby and teach 4 more children. I suppose they pay her! 

Only with Erin, Zach and hers, in a few years she will have 9 kids to teach (and a new set of toddler+baby of her own). 

Give it 5-10 more years and she will be a legit one room schoolhouse. 

[freethemall]

20 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

Maybe Tori is the family teacher once or twice a week, and they are TV-schooled the other days? 

I don't know how a grumpy, impatient woman can handle a toddler (how old is Kade?) and a baby and teach 4 more children. I suppose they pay her! 

Only with Erin, Zach and hers, in a few years she will have 9 kids to teach (and a new set of toddler+baby of her own). 

Isnt Tori in Nashville?

[VBOY9977]

14 minutes ago, freethemall said:

Isnt Tori in Nashville?

She moved back to Knoxville a year ago because Bobby started working with Kelton on his plumbing business. 

[rebeccawriter01]

So maybe this is the heathen in me, but who else saw and was disturbed Erin's video with Carson praying? Half of the prayer was about hoping God took Granny (Kelly) first. Kelly even had to step in and answer questions about whether or not she was sick. That just doesn't seem to be something that a 5 year old child should be that concerned over at his age. If I was Kelly Jo, I'd be asking Erin what sort of things they were saying about me. 

Edited May 18, 2020 by rebeccawriter01

[Natalie22]

1 hour ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

So maybe this is the heathen in me, but who else saw and was disturbed Erin's video with Carson praying? Half of the prayer was about hoping God took Granny (Kelly) first. Kelly even had to step in and answer questions about whether or not she was sick. That just doesn't seem to be something that a 5 year old child should be that concerned over at his age. If I was Kelly Jo, I'd be asking Erin what sort of things they were saying about me. 

I'm sorry, I don't want to give them more clicks, but what happened?!?!?  That sounds crazy.  I cannot imagine a 5 year old thinking about death in the sense of this person needs to go first because...  That sounds so bad and bizarre.

[rebeccawriter01]

14 minutes ago, Natalie22 said:

I'm sorry, I don't want to give them more clicks, but what happened?!?!?  That sounds crazy.  I cannot imagine a 5 year old thinking about death in the sense of this person needs to go first because...  That sounds so bad and bizarre.

She had it as an Instastory, but now Kelly Jo has it up on the family page. They translated what he was saying:

“Dear Jesus, Thank you for this day, and we love You with all our hearts. And I hope that Granny will have all the things that she wants and that You will put blessing in. I hope that she will be the first one to go to Heaven. And I hope that You will bless her. And I hope that You still love her, and I hope that You make Granny be love each other. And thank You for His name and for the nice meal. And thank you for making Granny so nice to us. And I love You with all my heart. And I hope that You make Granny... to love her.... that You love Granny and Granny loves You with all her heart too. And I hope that the whole world will be saved. Amen.”

[Melissa1977]

11 minutes ago, Natalie22 said:

I'm sorry, I don't want to give them more clicks, but what happened?!?!?  That sounds crazy.  I cannot imagine a 5 year old thinking about death in the sense of this person needs to go first because...  That sounds so bad and bizarre.

Actually it's very normal that a 5 year old asks about death, and even conclude that "grandma goes first, because she is the older". Very, very normal. They understand that death is something that happens to old people and often deny or cry when are told that young people can die.

Praying about that sounds very strange, though.