Erin & Chad 6: Angling for a Vow Renewal Ceremony

[SassyPants]

2 minutes ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

I know they’re suffering, and I feel bad about saying this, but I feel like that post says, “We had this idiotic idea to have umpteen children, but God, who has better sense, has put an end to it.”

What’s a crying shame is the fact that their cult actively enforces the idea that for women, there is nothing else but babies. In order to be a true Gothardite, all a woman needs to do is be joyfully available and pump out kid after kid all the while screaming Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Short of doing that, a woman has nothing to contribute to the world. Screw women who are single, infertile, post menopausal or can’t carry a pregnancy to viability. So, maybe the best that can come from this situation is that the cult or at least the family, can rethink the message they are telling women.; maybe they realize how harmful and hurtful this message actually is-

[rebeccawriter01]

2 hours ago, SassyPants said:

What’s a crying shame is the fact that their cult actively enforces the idea that for women, there is nothing else but babies. In order to be a true Gothardite, all a woman needs to do is be joyfully available and pump out kid after kid all the while screaming Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Short of doing that, a woman has nothing to contribute to the world. Screw women who are single, infertile, post menopausal or can’t carry a pregnancy to viability. So, maybe the best that can come from this situation is that the cult or at least the family, can rethink the message they are telling women.; maybe they realize how harmful and hurtful this message actually is-

Not that it pertains to Erin's situation, but I also wish that these groups and even churches in general were more sensitive regarding their talks of purity when it comes to girls and young women who are victims of childhood sexual abuse and assault. Elizabeth Smart did a lecture on it that was so heartwrenching in the ways that these religious groups place all this importance and value on virginity, saving a first kiss, etc. to the point of telling a young woman who is a survivor of assault or abuse that they are damaged or even worthless. 

Some of my extended family used to attend church where the Bates went for a while when the children were younger. That was a message preached there quite a bit. As a survivor of sexual abuse between the ages of 9 and 11, I remember my cousin (a sanctimonious little brat) telling me that the "preacher said a girl who kisses a boy will never get married and will probably go to hell." My "first" kiss was a 58 year old sexual predator. That was one sick message for me to hear. My parents made me attend services there one time. The sermon that Elizabeth Smart speaks of about the nails in the board and the board never being the same was told that day. It was one of the first things I ever discussed in therapy. 

Later I had a hysterectomy because of cancer. Another cousin who is of a similar belief system said she didn't know if she could have a hysterectomy and not ever have children of her own since "that's what God made us to do." She told me I should have lived longer with the pain and cancer before I made my decision so I could have prayed and let God intervene. 

While I am not a fan of Erin, her beliefs, or even her attitude about things, I do feel for her and the doubt that she will probably experience with well-meaning family and friends.  

[Johannah]

Purity culture objectifies women and tells you that you are only as valuable as men’s use for your body, whether that be sex or procreation.
 

It is brainwashing to instill in girls the idea that you are worthy only if you allow men to control your body according to their rules. It is the flip side of the same coin of sexual abuse. In both cases it is all about control.
 

Purity culture promotes sexual abuse by controlling women’s bodies while simultaneously giving them the illusion of agency; a crime committed against you, a violation of your body, becomes twisted and used against you in order to maintain control of all women’s bodies. 
 

I remember Elizabeth Smart saying after she was raped she was devastated that she thought she could never go home and be accepted even by her own parents because she was now like the chewed gum and board with nails she’d been warned about in Sunday school. 
 

That a child could be told that being criminally violated is somehow a diminishment of the value of her body, and therefore the value of herself is sickening and heartbreaking. 

[JillyO]

On 2/11/2021 at 4:46 PM, SassyPants said:

What’s a crying shame is the fact that their cult actively enforces the idea that for women, there is nothing else but babies. In order to be a true Gothardite, all a woman needs to do is be joyfully available and pump out kid after kid all the while screaming Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Short of doing that, a woman has nothing to contribute to the world. Screw women who are single, infertile, post menopausal or can’t carry a pregnancy to viability. So, maybe the best that can come from this situation is that the cult or at least the family, can rethink the message they are telling women.; maybe they realize how harmful and hurtful this message actually is-

If the fact that Michael has been unable to have a baby (whether that's due to her body, Brandon's, or a combination - she's the one who is not pumping out babies the way a woman in their world is supposed to) has not changed her family's attitudes, I highly doubt Erin's health complications will.

[SassyPants]

28 minutes ago, JillyO said:

If the fact that Michael has been unable to have a baby (whether that's due to her body, Brandon's, or a combination - she's the one who is not pumping out babies the way a woman in their world is supposed to) has not changed her family's attitudes, I highly doubt Erin's health complications will.

IDK, for many folks, 1 person having a problem could be viewed as a fluke, but as more of their daughters/dils experience reproductive difficulties perhaps attitudes and behaviors might change. 

[lumpentheologie]

This is the most awkward Valentine's pic I've seen so far. It looks like Erin's totally into it but Chad not so much? And the fundie obsession with exhibitionist kissing is so weird. 

https://www.instagram.com/p/CLSPVMMLthh/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

[Audrey2]

9 minutes ago, lumpentheologie said:

This is the most awkward Valentine's pic I've seen so far. It looks like Erin's totally into it but Chad not so much? And the fundie obsession with exhibitionist kissing is so weird. 

https://www.instagram.com/p/CLSPVMMLthh/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

I noticed that Chad's hand with his wedding ring was front and center. None of that kissing stuff until marriage.

[Black Aliss]

On 1/17/2021 at 8:35 AM, SassyPants said:

I’ve said this before. If they want to stay in their current rental, they need to flip the bedrooms; put the kids in the master and the parents in the smaller room. If space is an issue for the parents, maybe Chad could fashion them some bunk beds, or a trundle. 

My first thought was that putting Chad and Erin into bunk beds is brilliant; it could do wonders for preventing them from becoming even more crowded. And then I realized that's not what you meant.

 

[SeekingAdventure]

Wow, that really is an unfortunate picture.. I wonder how bad the others were, if they thought: yep, thats the one, that looks great?!

 

I also don't get the obsession with kissing photos, tbh

[AussieKrissy]

1 hour ago, SeekingAdventure said:

Wow, that really is an unfortunate picture.. I wonder how bad the others were, if they thought: yep, thats the one, that looks great?!

 

I also don't get the obsession with kissing photos, tbh

Omg I was coming her to say exactly the same thing. I knew I could not be the only one who was like wtf were they thinking 

[irish_dancing_canadian]

That picture is weird and doesn’t even look like them. Thought they were somebody else when I first saw it. 

[hollyfeller]

And the caption screams, "I'm not like other girls!"

[nelliebelle1197]

22 hours ago, lumpentheologie said:

This is the most awkward Valentine's pic I've seen so far. It looks like Erin's totally into it but Chad not so much? And the fundie obsession with exhibitionist kissing is so weird. 

https://www.instagram.com/p/CLSPVMMLthh/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

It is not awkward; it is GROSS!

 

And she is of course talking about countertops. In a house they don't own.

[Maggie Mae]

On 2/14/2021 at 12:44 PM, Audrey2 said:

I noticed that Chad's hand with his wedding ring was front and center. None of that kissing stuff until marriage.

I was just thinking about how the perspective on his hand seems "off" and you have a perfectly good reason as to why and how that's what they were going for.

[CarrotCake]

On 2/12/2021 at 1:37 AM, QuiverFullofBooks said:

I know they’re suffering, and I feel bad about saying this, but I feel like that post says, “We had this idiotic idea to have umpteen children, but God, who has better sense, has put an end to it.”

I always feel like 'as many as God gives us' only counts when it is actually 'many' kids.

If it is zero or a limited number, it is suddenly an unexpected path. 

[indianabones]

Erin deleted the post about her ovarian cysts. I wonder why?

[justmy2cents]

11 minutes ago, indianabones said:

Erin deleted the post about her ovarian cysts. I wonder why?

I can still see it.

[raayx01]

12 minutes ago, indianabones said:

Erin deleted the post about her ovarian cysts. I wonder why?

I still see it there

[indianabones]

Guess it's just me, then! I can see it if I'm logged out. Weird.

[habert]

Random question lol but does anyone know if they still have the dog and goat(s?). They haven’t posted pictures of their animals in a long time. 

[Nothing if not critical]

10 hours ago, habert said:

Random question lol but does anyone know if they still have the dog and goat(s?). They haven’t posted pictures of their animals in a long time. 

There were pictures with Lawson's girlfriend Tiffany and a goat a week or so (?) ago, which I assumed were taken at Erin's place. I may be wrong of course.

[AussieKrissy]

Speak of goats and they shall appear. Cherin has a new kid. God baby goats are cute. As per her Insta. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

14 minutes ago, AussieKrissy said:

Speak of goats and they shall appear. Cherin has a new kid. God baby goats are cute. As per her Insta. 

It really is. What do they do with these goats when they are grown? Do they sell them? Breed them? I’m not a goat person so I’m kind of unsure what Erin is doing with them. 

[AussieKrissy]

44 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

It really is. What do they do with these goats when they are grown? Do they sell them? Breed them? I’m not a goat person so I’m kind of unsure what Erin is doing with them. 

I assumed it was to help with keeping the lawns down. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

31 minutes ago, AussieKrissy said:

I assumed it was to help with keeping the lawns down. 

Could be! I know people with farms who have them. They use them for milk or to breed and sell them. I guess I just don’t understand keeping them as pets when you don’t have a farm and you have 4 young children. They are cute but it seems like extra work when you’re already busy enough.