Erin & Chad 6: Angling for a Vow Renewal Ceremony

[llucie]

Maybe when the next season comes around with Carlin finding out about her pregnancy/clotting disorder we will get some new info.

[Ivycoveredtower]

On 11/28/2019 at 2:08 AM, bal maiden said:

To be fair, Erin is a full time mother to 3 young kids and now a baby on top of that. It's not like she's laying on a couch all day tossing bonbons into her mouth whilst Chad works himself to the bone. I don't disagree that it looks like she volunteers Chad a lot, and has high demands of him. But to portray it as the inverse of couples where the man has loads of leisure time and the wife works like crazy doesn't seem fair at all. You don't get much leisure time at all when you have little kids. 

Honestly yes she has four young kids but let's be honest here she is over at the big house all the time and almost always seems to have a sister with her before Carlin got married I almost swore Carlin was her nanny she was around so much.

[nelliebelle1197]

On 11/27/2019 at 1:47 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

I feel like Erin has gotten ridiculously lucky. She always has her babies early and she has yet to have any real problems. If she keeps having baby after baby, I feel like odds are stacked against her. Eventually there will be a baby who isn’t “just fine” being born a month early. Will that happen when Erin has 8 kids 10 and under at home? 

And I can tell you why Chad looks tired. Because Erin made him get a tree off of the Bates property. She says it was a lot of work but worth it. I doubt it was any work for Erin. Erin wanted a free tree and it doesn’t matter if chad has to work his butt off all the time. 

This bothers me because we see it so much in reverse in fundie couples. Usually it’s a totally over worked wife and a husband to has plenty of free time to relax (example PP Anderson). But since it’s in reverse, no one thinks anything of it. It’s my opinion that Erin demands too much of Chad. I know he can say no, but fundies aren’t always raised that way. Chad is the oldest brother in a family with 10 kids. I’m sure it’s been drilled into him all his life that it’s his duty to always help family. To always put others first. And he looks exhausted.

Thank you. Chad has aged like a US president which means being married to Erin is as demanding as running a country.

On 11/28/2019 at 2:08 AM, bal maiden said:

To be fair, Erin is a full time mother to 3 young kids and now a baby on top of that. It's not like she's laying on a couch all day tossing bonbons into her mouth whilst Chad works himself to the bone. I don't disagree that it looks like she volunteers Chad a lot, and has high demands of him. But to portray it as the inverse of couples where the man has loads of leisure time and the wife works like crazy doesn't seem fair at all. You don't get much leisure time at all when you have little kids. 

Except Erin is up at the Batesesesees all the time and has access to free nannies and grandma all the time.

[Charliemae]

It's insane to think that any of the women in this fertility cult have it easy or are actually in control of anything.  You don't have to like Erin to realize that her life is challenging and only getting harder with every child she is obligated to carry, birth and care for.  The child rearing responsibility is on Erin.  I don't care if they go to the Bates house every single day, getting four (and counting) young children ready to leave the house is, on it's own, really freaking hard.  Those same kids still go home with her at the end of the day.  Night time parenting that many young children is exhausting, even with sleep training.   Chad has the appearance of caring about his kids and family, and that makes it seem like he's working harder than others.  He's still a part of this cult, he's not stopping the babies and for all we know he's the one who's actively trying to have more. The narrative that's being created around this couple isn't supported by their actions.   If you take it at face value, they have done a lot to show they are still fully in her father's and familiy's religion.  Which means that ultimately Chad is the in control of the Paine family.  

[nelliebelle1197]

8 minutes ago, Charliemae said:

It's insane to think that any of the women in this fertility cult have it easy or are actually in control of anything.  You don't have to like Erin to realize that her life is challenging and only getting harder with every child she is obligated to carry, birth and care for.  The child rearing responsibility is on Erin.  I don't care if they go to the Bates house every single day, getting four (and counting) young children ready to leave the house is, on it's own, really freaking hard.  Those same kids still go home with her at the end of the day.  Night time parenting that many young children is exhausting, even with sleep training.   Chad has the appearance of caring about his kids and family, and that makes it seem like he's working harder than others.  He's still a part of this cult, he's not stopping the babies and for all we know he's the one who's actively trying to have more. The narrative that's being created around this couple isn't supported by their actions.   If you take it at face value, they have done a lot to show they are still fully in her father's and familiy's religion.  Which means that ultimately Chad is the in control of the Paine family.  

Except those dynamics are what's on paper but not necessarily reality. Just because there is lip service to submission does not mean there is submission in the areas we discussed here. Erin seems to have a hell of a lot of time to redecorate every few weeks and post on social media and run her boutique while Chad seems to be covered in dirt and working on some project volunteered by Erin all the time. Do you have any idea who is getting up with the kids at night? The narrative IS supported by what we see on the show and SM. That is why it became a narrative.

[nausicaa]

Just now, Charliemae said:

The narrative that's being created around this couple isn't supported by their actions.   If you take it at face value, they have done a lot to show they are still fully in her father's and familiy's religion.  Which means that ultimately Chad is the in control of the Paine family.  

 Add in that all signs point towards Erin being a perfectionist. Which might be part of the strain on Chad, but also means Erin puts a ton of pressure on herself. We've seen how she keeps her house immaculate, she always has her hair and makeup done, and has made comments about needing to lose baby weight. Those might not be other people's priorities, but they don't point to someone who is lazy or content to just sit back and relax.

I genuinely think Erin is a hard worker who is probably just as close to a breakdown as Chad is. She just has access to better under eye creams and concealer. ?

[SassyPants]

49 minutes ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

Except those dynamics are what's on paper but not necessarily reality. Just because there is lip service to submission does not mean there is submission in the areas we discussed here. Erin seems to have a hell of a lot of time to redecorate every few weeks and post on social media and run her boutique while Chad seems to be covered in dirt and working on some project volunteered by Erin all the time. Do you have any idea who is getting up with the kids at night? The narrative IS supported by what we see on the show and SM. That is why it became a narrative.

I remember when Chad still worked for a business rather than being self employed, and when he would come home, he did laundry, got up for night feedings and tended to the children and house every bit as much as Erin. I’ll likely get shot down for this, but this is the perspective of a 60+ YO , 35 years employed as a nicu nurse, now retired, mother, GM and wife. The person who is home all day, should be the person doing the bulk of the work in the home, during that time. On my days off during the week, because we had to work every other weekend, I did all the jobs that needed to be done. Conversely, on the weekends when I was at work, my husband did all the chore that needed to be done at home. WHY...because when you’re AT HOME, you do the AT HOME work, that’s your job. It has nothing to do with anatomy, headship or gender roles. It’s freaking common sense. If my husband expected me to clean up the house after working all day while he was at home, I’d have been mighty pissy. Also, I think the SAHP should be the one getting up at night for the most part. No matter how you slice it, SAHs have more control over their schedules. If they feel like sitting down and putting the kids safely on auto pilot for a bit, they can. When you work outside the home, you do not have that luxury; you are on someone’s time and schedule. 

Hats off to all the SAHPs- it’s a never ending, and often times thankless job.

[nausicaa]

40 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

I remember when Chad still worked for a business rather than being self employed, and when he would come home, he did laundry, got up for night feedings and tended to the children and house every bit as much as Erin. I’ll likely get shot down for this, but this is the perspective of a 60+ YO , 35 years employed as a nicu nurse, now retired, mother, GM and wife. The person who is home all day, should be the person doing the bulk of the work in the home, during that time.

I actually agree with you on this. I just don't remember Chad doing this (I"m not saying it didn't happen. I haven't seen even half of the BuB episodes and my memory can be spotty anyway). 

I do think Erin demands a lot of Chad and doesn't seem to respect his boundaries or personal time much. I just don't think Erin herself is lazy or some fearsome dictator that Chad is somehow unable to say no to. 

And I think @Charliemae makes a good point about the demands of all the kids. It's takes two to tango there, and if Chad doesn't want more kids, he has plenty of options to not have any more. In fact more options that Erin has in their culture and belief system. 

[nelliebelle1197]

1 hour ago, nausicaa said:

I actually agree with you on this. I just don't remember Chad doing this (I"m not saying it didn't happen. I haven't seen even half of the BuB episodes and my memory can be spotty anyway). 

I do think Erin demands a lot of Chad and doesn't seem to respect his boundaries or personal time much. I just don't think Erin herself is lazy or some fearsome dictator that Chad is somehow unable to say no to. 

And I think @Charliemae makes a good point about the demands of all the kids. It's takes two to tango there, and if Chad doesn't want more kids, he has plenty of options to not have any more. In fact more options that Erin has in their culture and belief system. 

I remember it to - we discussed it back when it was going on.  I don't think anyone says she is lazy necessarily; but in any scenario she is demanding.

[HereticHick]

Its a baby AND home decor!! Multitasking for the win!

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, HereticHick said:

Its a baby AND home decor!! Multitasking for the win!

Maybe that will be her sleeping space. Spots are at a premium in the Paine’s home.

[HereticHick]

33 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Maybe that will be her sleeping space. Spots are at a premium in the Paine’s home.

Well you know Chad had to build it, then

[Natalie22]

12 hours ago, HereticHick said:

Its a baby AND home decor!! Multitasking for the win!

I mean, is the baby alive?  The baby doesn't look real.  I always feel very freaked out by these pictures...

[nelliebelle1197]

8 hours ago, Natalie22 said:

I mean, is the baby alive?  The baby doesn't look real.  I always feel very freaked out by these pictures...

I find these things creepy and terrifying. It's like the perfect evil Satan baby drop from a horror movie.

[SassyPants]

The life the Paines present seems fake. They have the perfect kids, the perfect house, the superstar parents, it is nucking futs, IMO. It can not possibly be healthy for those kids.

It’s Malibu Barbie and Ken pulling up in the pink convertible, and the Game of Life car filled with pink and blue pegs all rolled into one.

Edited December 10, 2019 by SassyPants

[squiddysquid]

Holy fucking photoshop hell! Taryn has outdone herself again.

[FaithAndReason]

I am so tired of these photos of babies wrapped in the gauze mummy fabric. Actually I've hated them from the beginning. It is creepy weird looking. 

[RosyDaisy]

Poor Holland looks dead!

[AussieKrissy]

I just would not be happy with those baby photos 

They are poorly photo shopped and washed out.

I spent a fair while going through past photos of photographers before selecting one to pay to have my babies photos done.

Taryn's one look amateurish and I hope she prices as much.

I paid a bomb for my baby photos (professional photographer) and was very happy with them.

Since then I have seen cheaper amateur photographers who have photos that are better quality and nicer than hers and I would happily use them (and have as my child has grown) over the expensive photographer.

Does anyone know her prices and what she is considered to be eg Side gig operator, amateur, professional?

Has she won any awards or taken any courses?

Her stuff is horrible. 

[AliceInFundyland]

On 12/9/2019 at 9:30 AM, HereticHick said:

Its a baby AND home decor!! Multitasking for the win!

She could easily look back at this and say, "Um, mom, isn't this the flower planter?"

So weird. Erin has energies that could be channeled so purposefully elsewhere. (and leave her mommy time) But nooooooo.

[freethemall]

On 12/8/2019 at 10:48 AM, SassyPants said:

I remember when Chad still worked for a business rather than being self employed, and when he would come home, he did laundry, got up for night feedings and tended to the children and house every bit as much as Erin. I’ll likely get shot down for this, but this is the perspective of a 60+ YO , 35 years employed as a nicu nurse, now retired, mother, GM and wife. The person who is home all day, should be the person doing the bulk of the work in the home, during that time. On my days off during the week, because we had to work every other weekend, I did all the jobs that needed to be done. Conversely, on the weekends when I was at work, my husband did all the chore that needed to be done at home. WHY...because when you’re AT HOME, you do the AT HOME work, that’s your job. It has nothing to do with anatomy, headship or gender roles. It’s freaking common sense. If my husband expected me to clean up the house after working all day while he was at home, I’d have been mighty pissy. Also, I think the SAHP should be the one getting up at night for the most part. No matter how you slice it, SAHs have more control over their schedules. If they feel like sitting down and putting the kids safely on auto pilot for a bit, they can. When you work outside the home, you do not have that luxury; you are on someone’s time and schedule. 

Hats off to all the SAHPs- it’s a never ending, and often times thankless job.

I'm not sure I agree with this. Parenting is a 24 hour job for BOTH parents. Staying home with 4 kids (or even 1) is a lot of work. At 5 o'clock they're both exhausted from physically demanding jobs so I dont think one is particularly entitled to more rest than the other. Plus imagine all the time she is pregnant and parenting, which is also likely more emotionally taxing than Chad's job. He should indeed be helping out however he can because just because you're home all day doesn't mean you have time to do all the chores. 

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, freethemall said:

I'm not sure I agree with this. Parenting is a 24 hour job for BOTH parents. Staying home with 4 kids (or even 1) is a lot of work. At 5 o'clock they're both exhausted from physically demanding jobs so I dont think one is particularly entitled to more rest than the other. Plus imagine all the time she is pregnant and parenting, which is also likely more emotionally taxing than Chad's job. He should indeed be helping out however he can because just because you're home all day doesn't mean you have time to do all the chores. 

BUT...if you’re not home ALL DAY, you certainly wouldn’t have the time to get stuff done at home. I think not finding/ having the time would be the exception rather than the rule. Pregnant ladies work too-

[Melissa1977]

On 12/8/2019 at 3:00 PM, nelliebelle1197 said:

Except Erin is up at the Batesesesees all the time and has access to free nannies and grandma all the time

Kelly is not looking after any kid. She didn't raise her own ones. And currently there are no nannies available (the Lost Girls can probably change a diaper, but they are not sistermoms and are rarely pictured with Erin). Yes, Erin visits her parents a lot, but is there evidence that she leaves her kids there?

As far as we know, only Whit and Zach used Bates as babysitters often (for a while), and Kelly wrote some passive-agressive messages about babysitting and working moms. While it's pure speculation, I suspect that Whitney and Erin quitting their jobs was due to the fact that babysitting offerings finished (which I understand, because these family is growing fast!).

Anyway, Erin has Jeb and Judson sometimes. So babysitting is a quid pro quo in her case.

I don't like Erin, but 4 children under four is a lot of work. An enormous, crazy lot of work. 

[SassyPants]

6 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

Kelly is not looking after any kid. She didn't raise her own ones. And currently there are no nannies available (the Lost Girls can probably change a diaper, but they are not sistermoms and are rarely pictured with Erin). Yes, Erin visits her parents a lot, but is there evidence that she leaves her kids there?

As far as we know, only Whit and Zach used Bates as babysitters often (for a while), and Kelly wrote some passive-agressive messages about babysitting and working moms. While it's pure speculation, I suspect that Whitney and Erin quitting their jobs was due to the fact that babysitting offerings finished (which I understand, because these family is growing fast!).

Anyway, Erin has Jeb and Judson sometimes. So babysitting is a quid pro quo in her case.

I don't like Erin, but 4 children under four is a lot of work. An enormous, crazy lot of work. 

Beaucoup work, for sure. It’s why the laundry room meltdown is most likely just around the corner. And the person who might be having the meltdown in the Paine residence is Chad.

[llucie]

They seem to be OK with babysiters as long as they are like minded christians/ SAHD family friends.

In the instastories from yesterday Carlin showed us she was working at Whitneys house where they have all the clothes for Batesboutique stored and you could clearly see there was another girl there (not a sister) with one of the kids in her lap.