Andrea Mills 2: Watching Tom Appear to Lose His Mind

[HeadacheLife]

20 minutes ago, moreorlessnu said:

Twice in live streams, Tom has mentioned that someone sent a baby/toddler book with clear sleeves into which photos are inserted. He plans to put pictures of Andrea in the book for Hannah. He thinks it's a great book, and that Hannah will really enjoy looking at the pictures. Last night, he mentioned he hasn't gotten around to putting the pictures in because he doesn't have time, he simply doesn't have time for anything....all the while rambling on in a 3 hour live stream...

it doesn't take long to upload some pictures to Walmart. If he does that before his next WM trip he'll be all set and can just pick them up there.... of course not sure if they can pick up photos on the midnight Walmart runs or not.  

[moreorlessnu]

Good point. Plus, probably the 4 oldest kids (and maybe even Eden) already know how to upload the pictures to the Walmart.com site.

[Queen Of Hearts]

I just can't figure Tom out anymore.  I'm trying to figure out his motivation for the endless livestreams:

1.) Truly lonely and depressed and it is good therapy for him.
2.) Needs that ego stoked non-stop now that Andrea isn't around to do it for him.
3.) Grifter extraordinaire.

My opinion changes by the hour.  He used to appear to be a hard worker - doing lots of big projects around the house and for family (the raised beds he made for his mom's greenhouse were impressive in size and scope).  Now he doesn't seem to do much besides chit chat with Rachel and his other You Tube ladies... makes me think there is some depression or a real ego at play there.  He seems to prideful to admit they may be struggling or need anything, but then always throws it in that he is struggling or could use X, Y or Z which comes right out of the Grifter 101 playbook.  The whole situation just makes me more and more sad each day.  

What I do know is that the Rachel and other You Tube people situation is scary and getting out of hand.  I hope Tom's mom or Andrea's family are keeping tabs and trying to talk some sense into Tom.  Toms passionate defense of Rachel is also sending up red flags for me.  

[can'tstopwatching]

Tom's current status in the wife-search as of last night: "not not looking". Oh my hahaha.

[Queen Of Hearts]

13 minutes ago, can'tstopwatching said:

Tom's current status in the wife-search as of last night: "not not looking". Oh my hahaha.

My bet is Rachel will be the next Mrs. Mills within 18 months.  She will make sure of it.  And she and Tom already seem way too familiar. 

Hi Rachel... send us your registry link once it is finalized. never mind, I am sure Tom will post it 'in protest' so his fans to purchase off of it.  You know... because they are begging him for it, not because he wants to post it.>

[Earth Mama]

38 minutes ago, Queen Of Hearts said:

1.) Truly lonely and depressed and it is good therapy for him.

Not to justify anything here but... I remember learning, in my psychology class in nursing school at Purdue, that losing a spouse is one of the top catastrophic losses in life.  So for Tom to be clinging to people to chat with, for comfort, I don't find out-of-line or crazy in the least. I mean, I've done that 3x now with just the loss of beloved pets, you know?  I have sought out bulletin boards and chat rooms just to be with other folks who have also gone through the same kind of loss, so we could comfort each other.  So Tom's chatting I totally get and totally understand.

It's the fact that the children are lacking in the same comfort, that bothers me to NO end!   Tom seems to think that the children are "fine" and that they can take care of themselves in the comfort department.  I just don't get it!!  Those kids need counseling and they need to be with others also.  Somebody in the chat last night made a comment about the kids having the ability to "chat" also, with others online, and that they should be encouraged and allowed to do that.  Tom laughed off the comment.

I'm concerned about the kids.... I really am. 

3 hours ago, formergothardite said:

Really? Is it truly helpful to do whatever helps even if that inflicts harm on his children? His kids do not seem to be enjoying being exploited on Youtube so he can cope with his grief. This is not only not a healthy coping method for Tom, it is also forcing his children to hide their grief and heaping more pain on them. 

He had a fucking camera pointed at them during their mother's funeral! He is not allowing these children to grieve at all. He isn't allowing them to have coping methods, It is all about him all the time. 

 

I'm sorry.... I think I didn't express myself very well here.  No, it's NOT ok to inflict harm on the children.  If you knew me, you'd know that's not what I meant.  I mean, my husband and I did foster care for years so I'm all for children.  I truly am.  I'm just saying that it's ok for Tom to do whatever he needs to do, to cope with this loss, within the boundaries of decency... including chatting online with people who like him.  But NO, not at the expense of the children.  I just posted another comment elsewhere that might better explain my thoughts & feelings.... but let it suffice to say that I truly believe those 9 children are NOT being served well by simply allowing them to languish in their grief, unaided, while Dad gets comfort online for himself.  

Yes, it's all about him all the time... I absolutely agree with you!  I'm sorry if I wasn't clear about that earlier. 

Edited October 22, 2019 by Earth Mama

[formergothardite]

43 minutes ago, Queen Of Hearts said:

Needs that ego stoked non-stop now that Andrea isn't around to do it for him.
3.) Grifter extraordinaire.

To quote @Escadora from the very first thread about the family:

Quote

I'll not lie, I find Tom to be a bit (a lot) of an egotistical ass. I don't think he's necessarily controlling in the same worrying ways that we observe in people like PP and Lori Alexander, for example, but I think he has his way he wants things to be and that that's the way it is going to be, if you get me? 

I'm sure he is grieving, but Tom is doing what Tom has always done. He only cares about himself. It is his way or no way. He has now found a way to be surrounded by what appears to be mostly women telling him he is soooo wonderful. Of course he loves this! 

[Earth Mama]

1 hour ago, moreorlessnu said:

TLast night, he mentioned he hasn't gotten around to putting the pictures in because he doesn't have time, he simply doesn't have time for anything....all the while rambling on in a 3 hour live stream...

How selfish of him!!  I'm really worried about the kids.... they need counseling!!

In a past stream he said that he's been reported to Child Protective Services over 30 times.  I hope a family member is taking note of the lack of help for these kids and reports him again.  If the children are removed from the home, the foster home of choice is with an extended family member... so I hope that's what happens.  But NOT with "Papa Gary" if he's on the sexual predator list like I've read about here.

Gawd, what a mess! 

[formergothardite]

18 minutes ago, Earth Mama said:

So for Tom to be clinging to people to chat with, for comfort, I don't find out-of-line or crazy in the least. I mean,

I don't think people were viewing finding folks to chat with online as out of line, it is the neglecting his children to spend hours online talking to mostly women who fawn over him as way, way out of line even for a grieving father. 

But Tom is behaving exactly like he has always behaved. He does whatever the hell he wants and everyone else has to be okay and figure it out on their own. 

[Earth Mama]

Just now, formergothardite said:

I don't think people were viewing finding folks to chat with online as out of line, it is the neglecting his children to spend hours online talking to mostly women who fawn over him as way, way out of line even for a grieving father. 

But Tom is behaving exactly like he has always behaved. He does whatever the hell he wants and everyone else has to be okay and figure it out on their own. 

Yep!

[Justsum1twothree]

49 minutes ago, Queen Of Hearts said:

My bet is Rachel will be the next Mrs. Mills within 18 months.  She will make sure of it.  And she and Tom already seem way too familiar. 

Hi Rachel... send us your registry link once it is finalized. never mind, I am sure Tom will post it 'in protest' so his fans to purchase off of it.  You know... because they are begging him for it, not because he wants to post it.>

 

 I’m sure Rachel wants to be with Tom but I don’t see it being mutual. It seems like he’s just using her because she’s doing something for him by monitoring the chat & answering questions. 

I could be wrong but don’t think he would really go for her. She has a Youtube channel herself and she looks pretty rough. She’s married or has been married and would be bringing more kids into the mix as well. I’m sure he wants someone like how Andrea was when he met her: young, thin, no prior children, not divorced, keeps up with their looks, etc-all things opposite of Rachel. I can’t see him settling for someone homey. I’m sure he thinks he looks good wants someone to “match”. But, I could very well be wrong though. 

20 minutes ago, Earth Mama said:

How selfish of him!!  I'm really worried about the kids.... they need counseling!!

In a past stream he said that he's been reported to Child Protective Services over 30 times.  I hope a family member is taking note of the lack of help for these kids and reports him again.  If the children are removed from the home, the foster home of choice is with an extended family member... so I hope that's what happens.  But NOT with "Papa Gary" if he's on the sexual predator list like I've read about here.

Gawd, what a mess! 

He IS on the list. His name is Gary Schelling of Moorcroft. Look him up yourself.

Edited October 22, 2019 by Justsum1twothree
Quote used twice

[HeadacheLife]

45 minutes ago, fundiefollower said:

 

I find it interesting that Thomas wants to move out.  He is still a Senior in "high school". Even as worthless as ACE is, I hope he finishes his courses and the family does what every Wyoming requires for them to do to show he has completed his education and gotten a diploma. 

I forgot to quote this in my last post - but homeschoolers in most states can issue their own diplomas.  There are accredited homeschools that issue them - ACE is one of them, but you have to be enrolled.  I'm not sure the kids are enrolled as that costs extra and based on their life choices I doubt Tom would think they would need an "official" diploma.   (homeschooler here) 

Do we know if they are enrolled to receive official diplomas? They could do alright either way, but given that the plan is to have them go into trade jobs, its going to be a challenge if they don't get the diploma or GED. 

[under siege]

 

 

 

 

Just now, Justsum1twothree said:

 

 I’m sure Rachel wants to be with Tom but I don’t see it being mutual. It seems like he’s just using her because she’s doing something for him by monitoring the chat & answering questions. 

I could be wrong but don’t think he would really go for her. She has a Youtube channel herself and she looks pretty rough. She’s married or has been married and would be bringing more kids into the mix as well. I’m sure he wants someone like how Andrea was when he met her: young, thin, no prior children, not divorced, keeps up with their looks, etc-all things opposite of Rachel. I can’t see him settling for someone homey. I’m sure he thinks he looks good wants someone to “match”. But, I could very well be wrong though.

Rachel had a baby a few months ago. She's still with the husband/partner that she wished was 10% the man Tom is (someone mentioned that last bit up-thread)
It's doubtful she will be the next Mrs Mills if Tom is considering re-marrying sooner rather than later. Not that things like this don't happen but in this case, I believe it will be someone in Tom's life already or a single/widowed 'youtube person' that will be willing to up sticks easier than the likes of a non-single, with littles, kind of person.

[Justsum1twothree]

23 minutes ago, under siege said:

Rachel had a baby a few months ago. She's still with the husband/partner that she wished was 10% the man Tom is (someone mentioned that last bit up-thread)
It's doubtful she will be the next Mrs Mills if Tom is considering re-marrying sooner rather than later. Not that things like this don't happen but in this case, I believe it will be someone in Tom's life already or a single/widowed 'youtube person' that will be willing to up sticks easier than the likes of a non-single, with littles, kind of person.

Yeah, I don’t see him being with her either. I thought I made my point clear enough.

He’ll probably get a mail order bride from Asia with his love of anime and such. 

Edited October 22, 2019 by Justsum1twothree

[can'tstopwatching]

It was good to see Tom rock and cuddle Hannah in the last 1/4 of the live stream (don't ask why I'm watching all this...). She seems reluctant to let him hold her which is sad but, she's probably pretty distraught often now, and as long as he works on that connection I think he can fix it. At least until she really starts walking and wants to be down all the time ?.

This last live stream seemed a little better to me for some reason, maybe because we got to see him interact with the kids a little bit and he wasn't shut away in his office. Definitely not perfect obviously, and it was 3 hours that he could've been doing something better but I understand the difficulty in being productive when you're sad.

[Petronella]

2 hours ago, formergothardite said:

I don't think people were viewing finding folks to chat with online as out of line, it is the neglecting his children to spend hours online talking to mostly women who fawn over him as way, way out of line even for a grieving father. 

But Tom is behaving exactly like he has always behaved. He does whatever the hell he wants and everyone else has to be okay and figure it out on their own. 

I agree that the neglect of his children is the biggest problem, but I don’t agree that his livestream chatting is harmless self-comfort. First of all, it’s public. That is a psychologically suspect choice. Second of all, he’s set it up as a star/audience situation, not a mutual, equal situation. That is just not healthy.

[FunFunFundie]

3 hours ago, Earth Mama said:

How selfish of him!!  I'm really worried about the kids.... they need counseling!!

Once, a doctor told me that I could die at any point because of a brain tumor (spoiler: I survived). That first night, I sat up late, writing out all my passwords, finding documents that my husband would need, and finishing and ordering the photo book that I had started for my kids. On the list of "things I need to do before I die suddenly tonight," it was in the top 10. I can't believe Tom's just not getting around to it.

[Zenyatta]

18 hours ago, Giraffe said:

I completely agree. His second marriage will either be very short-lived or he will be the only person in that house who thinks it’s great.

Third marriage.  He has a teenage daughter from the marriage before Andrea. 

[Flyinthesoup]

11 minutes ago, FunFunFundie said:

Once, a doctor told me that I could die at any point because of a brain tumor (spoiler: I survived). That first night, I sat up late, writing out all my passwords, finding documents that my husband would need, and finishing and ordering the photo book that I had started for my kids. On the list of "things I need to do before I die suddenly tonight," it was in the top 10. I can't believe Tom's just not getting around to it.

Especially since Tom does not look the healthiest, and if anything happens to him.....what will happen to the children? 

I'm glad you have survived, that must have been an incredibly frightening time. 

 

 

1 minute ago, Zenyatta said:

Third marriage.  He has a teenage daughter from the marriage before Andrea. 

And, I just looked up on one of Rachel Day's youtube videos and she mentioned a 'step son' coming over....so she might not have a problems with divorce and remarriage. 

[Queen Of Hearts]

6 hours ago, under siege said:

Tom has mentioned a few times that his eldest daughter has a youtube channel and I was curious.  There are videos about her health, about her birth mother and there's this one, which is so sad. Her beliefs go against her father's beliefs and when she says 'I'm hoping I can change it, making something else be true" you just know that it's because those around her wouldn't fully accept her completely as she is.  There are some videos with her siblings, and others with a new pet (haven't watched those yet)
 

 

It looks like Mileena has removed this video.  I feel very sad for her being thrust into a spotlight she likely didn't want all because Tom's love affair with his You Tube People.

[Justsum1twothree]

2 minutes ago, Zenyatta said:

Third marriage.  He has a teenage daughter from the marriage before Andrea. 

He had that daughter outside of his first marriage.

[FreeFundiesKids]

15 hours ago, Giraffe said:

I can’t believe I’m saying it, but Dr Phil may not be a terrible idea at this point. 

Yes!! Dr. Phil is very blunt person on his show. I don't know how Tom will handle the harsh reality POV of Dr. Phil. 

15 hours ago, Justsum1twothree said:

It’s probably listed on his business website 

its on his company page Facebook.

[Zenyatta]

Just now, Justsum1twothree said:

He had that daughter outside of his first marriage.

I don't recall this.  Before or after the shortlived marriage?

[Justsum1twothree]

1 minute ago, Zenyatta said:

I don't recall this.  Before or after the shortlived marriage?

I’m not sure but Mileena said she was born out of wedlock in a comment on her Facebook page. If you want to read it, better look fast. It seems Tom is checking this page frequently and will probably tell her to take it down. 

6 minutes ago, FreeFundiesKids said:

Yes!! Dr. Phil is very blunt person on his show. I don't know how Tom will handle the harsh reality POV of Dr. Phil. 

its on his company page Facebook.

I didn’t know he had a company FB page. 

[ViolaSebastian]

Snapfish has a service that involves uploading photos and they'll print them for you and send them in the mail. Just sayin.'