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Coconut Flan

Andrea Mills 2: Watching Tom Appear to Lose His Mind

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moreorlessnu
21 hours ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

This story crushes me in away I cannot explain. My heart breaks in half hearing about how she just...died.

It troubles me how much she suffered in the last few months of her life, and she didn't have to. She said their last family trip was "misery" because of how she was feeling. 

If she had gone to the doctors (not just the ER, but actually established a relationship with a primary care doctor), she might (or might not) have had a diagnosis, but she definitely could have been provided with pain medicine to ease her symptoms. If it would have been possible to diagnose the cancer, the family would have had more time to plan for her passing. If her gallbladder issues were diagnosed sooner, the cancer cells on the liver might have been discovered sooner, etc.

I realize it was her own choice, and mainly due to her fears/aversion with the medical community. I had a family member in a similar situation (i.e., aversion to the medical community, suffered too long, finally sought medical help, and passed away shortly thereafter), so I get it, it's a choice each person has the right to make, but it still saddens me the extent to which Andrea suffered.

It greatly saddens me how much the kids will suffer.

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JenniferJuniper
21 minutes ago, moreorlessnu said:

If her gallbladder issues were diagnosed sooner, the cancer cells on the liver might have been discovered sooner, etc.

For many types of cancer it's a misconception that "early detection is the best prevention" or that early detection necessarily results in a better outcome.    There are slow growing cancers that will never kill the person.  And there are cancers that are going to kill swiftly no matter what the person does or doesn't do. 

Yes, she could have suffered longer with a diagnosis several months earlier or suffered less with pain medication.  She could have had more time to prepare to be dead.   But even if the cancer had been detected when she first felt a twinge, she'd have likely have suffered longer and still ended up dead within a few months.

I feel awful for those poor kids.  But losing your mother is losing your mother.  And whether there was time for a longer goodbye or not, they were almost certainly going to lose her within a short period of time.  And it sounds like Andrea never even fully realized what hit her.  That isn't necessarily a bad thing for her.

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Petronella
11 hours ago, Giraffe said:

It doesn’t surprise me they didn’t believe in yearly physicals. Preventive medicine could be seen as anti-biblical. There’s a verse that talks about it being the sick who need a doctor, not the healthy*.
 

 

 

*Mt 9:12, Lk 5:31

Those kind of “interpretations” drive me crazy. That verse is using illness as a metaphor to be instructive about sin/forgiveness/seeking help. It’s not being instructive about illness or how to deal with illness.

Not that you’re saying it is, but it’s a typical fundie misconception to take a metaphorical statement that is descriptive of how typical culture happened to be at that time—or an observation about typical human nature in general—and turn it into an instruction about how all culture SHOULD BE for ALL TIME. But this one isn’t even about culture! It just says, hey, you don’t have to perfect to approach religion; in fact, you’d EXPECT the imperfect, just as most people in a doctor’s waiting room will be ill. No shame. But the point is, the medical bit is the observation part, NOT the instruction part.

Back to the colored clothes system:

I’m further creeped out by the implications for the older kids. Clothes are a great way to start learning decision-making, personal taste, and how to just basically look after yourself. Having a family uniform is busywork for the parent who could better use the time, AND takes away an important growth experience from the kids.

I know this isn’t nearly as important as their toxic beliefs, or Tom’s neglect. But it’s such a big metaphor for their isolation.

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Wine time!
Marly
15 hours ago, mollysmom said:

Seriously, I'm not very smart, at all. There is no denying that.

@catlady said it perfectly, but I want to emphasize this again: not knowing things because you never had the ability to learn/were denied an adequate education when you were younger does not equal being dumb. 
Please don't blame yourself for the shitty education you were provided with as a child! I've read a lot of your posts and those show you to be a thoughful, caring, curious, and intelligent person. Someone who has grown and learned a lot since escaping fundamentalism. 
 

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mollysmom
23 minutes ago, Marly said:

@catlady said it perfectly, but I want to emphasize this again: not knowing things because you never had the ability to learn/were denied an adequate education when you were younger does not equal being dumb. 
Please don't blame yourself for the shitty education you were provided with as a child! I've read a lot of your posts and those show you to be a thoughful, caring, curious, and intelligent person. Someone who has grown and learned a lot since escaping fundamentalism. 
 

Thank you. That actually really means alot to me. ❤️

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Koala
19 hours ago, under siege said:

This is very tame compared to the really hateful vlogs but this is an example of what she used to share. This was in the time before she gained 1000s of subbies (61 thumbs up / 67 thumbs down). Most of the comments have been deleted.
In one of the first videos I watched, she was genuinely shocked about how may strongly disagree with her views. It wasn't long after that where she shifted into more pleasant day-to-day stuff only. Letting Tom sprout his religious views on his channel and avoiding politics, for the most part, entirely.

 

Guys, if you haven't watched this video, please consider watching.  When you're done, make sure to take a look at the comments (particularly at Andrea's replies).

For as calming as she usually sounded, she sounded equally as unhinged in this video.  It's disturbing- kind of like watching someone take a mask off, and what's underneath is scary as fuck.

Jesus.  She was totally nuts.  Tom has seemed off to me from the get go, but Andrea came across as a really sweet person.  But, yeah- totally bats.  I am stunned by some of the crazy stuff she believed.  Wow.

Edited by Koala

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formergothardite
2 hours ago, Koala said:

esus.  She was totally nuts.  Tom has seemed off to me from the get go, but Andrea came across as a really sweet person.  But, yeah- totally bats.  I am stunned by some of the crazy stuff she believed.  Wow.

She had worse ones than that that were pulled down by Youtube for being so vile and hateful. She was not some sort of sweet, harmless soul, she was hateful, but learned to cover it up. 

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Zenyatta
13 hours ago, JenniferJuniper said:

For many types of cancer it's a misconception that "early detection is the best prevention" or that early detection necessarily results in a better outcome.   

You get the cards you're dealt, I guess.  My mother's side of the family did not believe in going to the doctor.  My mom, who saw a doctor only when she was having babies,  died at 91.  My dad's side of the family, who were generally less healthy, did go to doctors. My dad died at 62.  Am I going to die in between?  (No cancer in my family tree.)

 

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Caroline

Do these believers in false flags also believe that other historical events were just dramatic enactments?  JFK's death, the Holocaust, the crash of 1929?   That place where Andrea says now that she knows what's going on in the media (i.e. it's all likes) she just goes along on her merry way and pays no attention to what's happening in the world.)  What a lazy and scary way to live.  

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under siege
9 minutes ago, Caroline said:

Do these believers in false flags also believe that other historical events were just dramatic enactments?  JFK's death, the Holocaust, the crash of 1929?   That place where Andrea says now that she knows what's going on in the media (i.e. it's all likes) she just goes along on her merry way and pays no attention to what's happening in the world.)  What a lazy and scary way to live.  



She wasn't lazy in her convictions. She was quite the conspiracist, including being a 9/11 denier. Now that was a doozy of a video where she covered that event. 
She put in a lot of effort into those controversial videos too. Just like in the one I found to share here, she shared a lot of 'facts' from alternative news sources. 
I can't emphasize this point enough - that video that I shared here was very tame compared to the others.
It's a shame that the videos were taken down as they really showed her narrow, and quite dangerous, views. A side to Andrea that the majority of her fans will never get to see. Everyone has a dark side, but wow her's was quite alarming when it came across so sugar-coated.

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formergothardite
8 minutes ago, under siege said:

She put in a lot of effort into those controversial videos too. Just like in the one I found to share here, she shared a lot of 'facts' from alternative news sources. 
I can't emphasize this point enough - that video that I shared here was very tame compared to the others.
It's a shame that the videos were taken down as they really showed her narrow, and quite dangerous, views

When Tom had more stuff public on his FB it made it clear they not only believed some really, REALLY awful things, they were indoctrinating their kids with this stuff. 

Andrea did manage to cover up their dark side pretty well and make them look like a harmless large family. 

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Caroline
5 minutes ago, under siege said:



She wasn't lazy in her convictions. She was quite the conspiracist, including being a 9/11 denier. Now that was a doozy of a video where she covered that event. 
She put in a lot of effort into those controversial videos too. Just like in the one I found to share here, she shared a lot of 'facts' from alternative news sources. 
I can't emphasize this point enough - that video that I shared here was very tame compared to the others.
It's a shame that the videos were taken down as they really showed her narrow, and quite dangerous, views. A side to Andrea that the majority of her fans will never get to see. Everyone has a dark side, but wow her's was quite alarming when it came across so sugar-coated.

I know Andrea was definitely not lazy and obviously put as much time into her conspiracy theories as she did everything else.  I guess I should have said that when she chose to put her head in the sand about the things we hear about every day in the news  it seemed a little lazy and definitely isolationist.  Knowing what's going on in the world takes effort and time to analyze and understand.   Agreed about everyone have a dark side, but this side of Andrea is darker than normal IMO.  I knew a perfectly ordinary appearing woman once (saw her regularly at a gym I went to).  One day she started asking me what I thought about chem trails.  I shut her down right away, and she never said another thing like that again.  It bothered me that she thought I might be a kindred spirit in her conspiracy mindset.  Sometimes she said some off the wall things about religion too, so maybe there was a connection.  I obviously didn't know her as well as I thought I did. 

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JenniferJuniper
1 hour ago, Zenyatta said:

You get the cards you're dealt, I guess.  My mother's side of the family did not believe in going to the doctor.  My mom, who saw a doctor only when she was having babies,  died at 91.  My dad's side of the family, who were generally less healthy, did go to doctors. My dad died at 62.  Am I going to die in between?  (No cancer in my family tree.)

 

My father was convinced he would die at or before 62 like his father who died from a massive stroke in his doctor's waiting room.

Instead he has followed his mother's path.  Alzheimer's struck in his late 70's, same as her.  Just like her it happened almost overnight.  He was let go from his part time job (he was beginning to stumble a bit) in Feburary and by August he got lost in his own backyard trying to find his childhood home which is 10 miles away. He thought it was just over a fence on the other side of a wooded area.

My mother is showing signs of dementia as well.  

All endings are sad.  So I try not to dwell on what cards I may have been dealt.   I'll see that hand soon enough. 

 

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Wine time!
VanillaBean

So...I avoided this topic for a couple months because as a cancer survivor, stories of people dying from cancer can really trigger me. Especially when they leave kids behind... my daughter was 2 when I waa diagnosed. But now I've caught up and just want to say,  in a PSA kind of way:

You don't test just girls for BRCA. BRCA is an autosomal dominant mutation that can be passed on by either parent. This means that if either parent has it, ALL of their children have a 50/50 chance of inheriting it-- and that if you inherit it,  it will always be the dominant gene and therefore you need to be vigilant.

My particular mutation is on the BRCA-2 gene,  so I don't know as much about BRCA-1. But BRCA-2 increases your risk of not just breast cancer but also ovarian cancer, melanoma, pancreatic cancer and, in men, prostrate cancer.  Some studies also show a tie to colon cancer,  some don't. Men also can get breast cancer,  and if they have a BRCA mutation, their risk of that goes way up.  BRCA-2  prostate cancers also tend to be more aggressive than non-BRCA prostate cancers. 

And,  of course,  men (and women) with a BRCA mutation,  even if they never get cancer,  can still pass their mutation to their own sons and daughters. This is exactly what happened in my family. There was no history of cancer... until there was. 

Also, unless there is a risk of cancer developing during childhood,  it's not ethical to test for cancer mutations until the person is 18 and can make her/his own decisions. So I won't know until my daughter is an adult (and if she decides to test) whether she has inherited my mutation. Tom's daughters ( and sons) should not be tested now since there is almost zero chance of BRCA- related cancers developing during childhood. 

Ok, done.  If anyone learned something from that, I've done my good deed for the day. 

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FluffySnowball
On 10/11/2019 at 9:30 PM, mollysmom said:

I was home schooled with Abeka & honestly, didn't learn anything. Seriously, I'm not very smart, at all. There is no denying that. Part of the blame in my opinion, is on my mother. She didn't teach. She sat in the living room talking on the phone while I was at the kitchen table, or in my bedroom "teaching" myself. I put some of the blame on myself because I absolutely hated home schooling so I wasn't exactly a star pupil. But honestly, it's really embarrassing how much I don't know (basic stuff) at 42 years old. 

Don’t ever confuse not knowing much about particular topics with not being smart! There’s so much that makes up intelligence and being aware of particular facts isn’t the most important aspect. I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but from your posts, you seem like a very intelligent and emphatic person and I enjoy reading your thoughts. 

Edited by FluffySnowball
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Waffle Time
Palimpsest
2 hours ago, FluffySnowball said:

Don’t ever confuse not knowing much about particular topics with not being smart! There’s so much that makes up intelligence and being aware of particular facts isn’t the most important aspect. I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but from your posts, you seem like a very intelligent and emphatic person and I enjoy reading your thoughts. 

This.  And @mollysmom your post has bothered me and broken my heart since I first saw it, but I needed time to formulate a response.  I hope it makes sense.

There are many types of intelligence and many different types of learning styles.  Not all types of intelligence are valued in the "academic" world but they are still of enormous importance in living and succeeding in life.  Empathy, people skills, dexterity, spacial ability, and common sense being among them.

Putting the rest of this under a spoiler so people can scroll on by the off topic stuff if they want.

Spoiler

 

Learning styles:   Take me as an example.  I could not and probably never would have learned from being plonked down in front of workbooks with no help.  And listening to someone chatter on tape or even video, nope no help either.   I have no aural memory at all.  I am a visual and experiential learner.  I cannot and never will learn from oral communication.  Others can.

And that is why I am probably the world's best note taker and a dedicated reader.  Hear words - in and out of my head.  Write down words and mentally photograph them, draw pictures, or follow instructions and do something practical.  Wow.  I actually get the concept!  And I was an absolute failure  at math, except for basic geometry (pictures!)  I taught myself to be functional in math (for everyday use) by drawing myself pictures. 

It took me a long time to understand that I had my own a little "different" learning style.  And I succeeded academically once I understood that and figured out how I learned.  I'm also artsy and crafty and quite a good handyman (handy person).  And I have a brain filled with pretty useless trivia from all that reading. 

Now take Mr. P.   He has a fantastic aural memory.  Sing him a song once and he will sing it back to you, on key and with all lyrics intact.  He also has an excellent visual memory.  He struggled with math (to some extent) in high school (bad teaching) but excelled in his chosen field of study.  He has a PhD in a rather narrow area.  He also has fantastic people skills and what I think of as a "legal" brain.  He can look at a problem and parse it in a second.  He puts it into order, prioritises the issues, figures out how to present it, and convinces people to follow his advice in minutes.  And (damn it) he is almost always right!  He's blushing because I just read this back to him.

But (and I have his permission to say this) he has no directional abilities.  GPS (or me navigating) is a blessing to him because he cannot find his way from A to B.  And he is not allowed to use power tools.  Or put furniture kits together.  He just does not get it.  Trying to be handy around the house tends to end up in visits to ER for him.  I do the house maintenance.  And a lot of the more commonsensical stuff.  We complement each other.

He thinks I am more "clever" and I think he is far, far, more "cleverer"  than I.

I hope this helps.  We both ended up succeeding academically, but you may be a lot better than us in excelling in life. :)

 

 

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Dizzy
nelliebelle1197
On 10/11/2019 at 4:01 PM, formergothardite said:

@mollysmom, Abeka might be just as shitty. I've heard people go to schools that used it say it wasn't awful. @nelliebelle1197, didn't you go to a school that used Abeka? I do know of people who used the Abeka videos who hated them and said they learned nothing. I'm guessing most children aren't going to do too well with just being told to teach themselves, no matter what the curriculum. 

The reason I was thinking Abeka science might not be as awful as ACE is because they have updated things since 1986. I would think all the creation science would tend to be on the bad side. It would be hard for it not to be when they insist on ignoring so much actual science. 

Yep! We had Abeka. That's where I learned the Civil War should be called the War Between the States and it wasn't about slavery but states' rights. Creationism was not so wacky back then - the science curriculum I recall just did not address evolution on a macro scale. It certainly gave lip service to it on a micro scale  such as species divergence. Also,  I remember counting back all the patriarchs' generations to get to 6,000ish for the age of the earth. In science.

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Pleiades_06

New livestream up. Couldn’t watch the whole thing, but a few things stood out: 

1) A viewer asked how homeschooling is going and Tom said great, to which Judah said no, it’s awful. Tom quickly explained Judah thinks that but actually Judah is doing great and learning a lot. No mention of Grandma Kitty, who is there 3x/week.

2) Tom mentions the Meal Train has ended.

3) He is very defensive when talking about the dog and Hannah. The dog had hernia, which is better, but fell down the stairs. Hannah is screaming in the background. At one point he says she’s in bed and the kids tell him no-she’s on the chair. 

4) He ignores the kids comments during dinner, like Sophia telling him soup has spilled. He’s very, very focused on the camera.

5) At 27 minutes he starts to choke up as Sophia tells him about what she can sew because Andrea taught her. It’s actually really sad

6) At 31 minutes he talks about not being able to remember all the kids’ ages, to which Solomon says he does. Solomon then recites every correct age. Tom then says he can’t use the “Dad excuse “ anymore, whatever that means 

7) At 32 minutes he’s talking about how much his kids know and mentions how nobody learns what the “England flag” is in public school, to which Asher replies, yes, they do. Am I sensing schooling rebellion from Judah and Asher?

8 At 39 minutes he’s talking about how the chores are done by the kids which is why large families are easy. They get paid 2-5 cents/minute, to which Judah says 0-5 cents.

9) At 49 minutes discusses the privilege system and how reciting bible verses gets you more

Lots of talking about different bibles at the end. One viewer mentions how publisher Tom likes also publishes the Satanic bible, to which Tom says he doesn’t care. Refers back to his channel for viewers to watch for  why we should learn to read the Bible in Greek. This is why he’s my pet fundie. 

Other notes: Eden tries desperately to get his attention, and they are all not matching. 

 

Edited by Pleiades_06
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under siege
1 hour ago, Pleiades_06 said:

New livestream up. Couldn’t watch the whole thing, but a few things stood out:

1) A viewer asked how homeschooling is going and Tom said great, to which Judah said no, it’s awful. Tom quickly explained Judah thinks that but actually Judah is doing great and learning a lot.

3) He is very defensive when talking about the dog and Hannah. The dog had hernia, which is better, but fell down the stairs. Hannah is screaming in the background. At one point he says she’s in bed and the kids tell him no-she’s on the chair. 

4) He ignores the kids comments during dinner, like Sophia telling him soup has spilled. He’s very, very focused on the camera.

6) At 31 minutes he talks about not being able to remember all the kids’ ages, to which Solomon says he does. Solomon then recites every correct age. Tom then says he can’t use the “Dad excuse “ anymore, whatever that means 

7) At 32 minutes he’s talking about how much his kids know and mentions how nobody learns what the “England flag” is in public school, to which Asher replies, yes, they do. Am I sensing schooling rebellion from Judah and Asher?

 

Other notes: Eden tries desperately to get his attention, and they are all not matching. 

 

5

Thank you for the recap.

1) Yesterday I decided to check out Judah's channel and on his community page, he apologized for not being able to do as many videos because school is taking up a lot of time.
Andrea used to work with the kids having trouble with certain subjects and work out a plan of attack to help them through it. Still used ACE but she tried different approached to how that kid studies. Judah was the main one I remember she did that will so I hope Grandma Kitty can either (a)work out  how to make ACE work best with each kid or (b) convince Tom other curricula should be incorporated (wishful thinking probably)

3) That is so heartbreaking how little he gives a f*** about the dog. The poor thing is suffering and Tom cannot say that he can not afford vet care or humane end of life for Knuckles.

4) His 'youtube people' continue to stroke the ego and bringing the coins so they are very valuable commodities. Who else tells him he's doing an amazing job and he's such a great father instead of him leaving the camera alone for a while and actually being one.

6) Dad excuse = Tom has to be present in his kids lives now. Not just breed and show up for events. He now has to actually do Dad stuff and get to know his kids.

Those kids are going to be even ore bible bashed now by the sounds of things.

 

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raspberrymint

I was too dumb for Abeka math and Saxon math.  Math took the bulk of the day and was miserable.

At age 10, my mom gave up, so math became some program where I watched an exercise video and exercised while repeating basic math tables.  

At ages 11 - somethingteen, math was an instruction video followed by my dad working with me to finish the accompanying book problems for hours at night.  Algebra and geometry.  I hated math.  I felt bad for hating it, too, with all the effort my dad was putting in.  

In most of my teen years, math was me doing the numbers for my grandparents' business for $0.00.

I did pass the required college math courses, but barely and by taking only math and no other classes at the same time.

I never used any of the math that gave me trouble...

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Koala

Hannah...again.

In this live video she is crying in the background.  Tom says she's in bed, but the kids tell him that she's actually sitting in a chair, just across the room.  He then tells viewers that she's tired and hungry.  He can't feed her, of course, because Youtube!  Fans! 

Her crying gets louder, and Tom tells one of his children to "put her to bed with a sandwich", and literally passes half a sandwich to be given to her in her crib.  The teenager appears to reject it, and Hannah's cries just get louder.

OMG.  How is anyone okay with this?!?!  She's a baby, being left to fend for herself.  Jesus Christ.

And fuck this "Dad excuse" bullshit.  My husband rocked our babies a million miles.  He would rock and sing, until they were able to get to sleep.  He wore them both in baby slings.  He coached soccer, he read bedtime stories, and he has never needed a reminder as to when their birthdays are.  

Get a grip, Tom.  You have no excuse to neglect those children. 

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Petronella
8 hours ago, Pleiades_06 said:

1) A viewer asked how homeschooling is going and Tom said great, to which Judah said no, it’s awful.

Go, Judah! You speak your truth. I'm glad he feels able to contradict Tom, even in front of "the youtube people."

8 hours ago, Pleiades_06 said:

6) At 31 minutes he talks about not being able to remember all the kids’ ages, to which Solomon says he does. Solomon then recites every correct age. Tom then says he can’t use the “Dad excuse “ anymore, whatever that means 

How can someone say this and not feel ashamed? If you can't remember something as basic as your kids' ages, how are you knowing them in more complex ways? Is he just flat-out admitting that he doesn't know them at all?

8 hours ago, Pleiades_06 said:

7) At 32 minutes he’s talking about how much his kids know and mentions how nobody learns what the “England flag” is in public school, to which Asher replies, yes, they do. Am I sensing schooling rebellion from Judah and Asher?

Wait, what?? Why...why is he focused on "the England flag"? In what context? Is he feeling all proud that one of his kids knows it? Does he mean the flag of the UK or the literal flag of just England (St George's cross)? Why does he think people who go to school don't know it? Why does he care so much about that flag specifically? What a weird thing to say!

Also, go Asher!

8 hours ago, Pleiades_06 said:

8 At 39 minutes he’s talking about how the chores are done by the kids which is why large families are easy. They get paid 2-5 cents/minute, to which Judah says 0-5 cents.

NO. Kids are not your maids. Should they assist as part of the household? Of course. Should your life be EASIER because they're doing more household work than you? NO. If parenting means LESS work for you, then you're doing it WRONG.

8 minutes ago, Koala said:

Her crying gets louder, and Tom tells one of his children to "put her to bed with a sandwich", and literally passes half a sandwich to be given to her in her crib. 

This is shameful.

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mollysmom

Yeah, it really bothers me how he treats these kids. If he is this neglectful & dismissive of his kids while the camera is rolling I don't even want to think about how he treats them off camera. My heart breaks for those kids. Eden kept trying to talk to him throughout the whole live stream & he just ignored her & kept reading the comments on you tube & answering them. Wtf?!! He is clearly annoyed by Solomon (last night not so much but  normally he is. Although I did notice last night he had Solomon all the way on the other end of that long table next to Thomas) Little Sophia & Claudia just want some love & attention from their daddy & they aren't getting it. And Hannah. Oh. This breaks my heart watching how he treats Hannah. She is a baby for God's sake!! Rock her to sleep! Love on her! Put her in some clean pajamas, something!! Don't have one of your teenagers throw her in her crib in her regular clothes with a sandwich! Are you kidding me?!!? This guy has proven what a complete jerk he is. Last night he had so many snarky little comments towards the "you tube people" which, I'd rather he be snarky to them/us than his children, but clearly some of the comments are getting to him. Then shut the damn camera off you fool! Seriously! Wtf is wrong with him? This goes beyond grieving. I feel so bad for those kids. 

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Wine time!
LaPeleona
On 10/12/2019 at 8:47 PM, nelliebelle1197 said:

That's where I learned the Civil War should be called the War Between the States and it wasn't about slavery but states' rights.

 I learned this as well but from public schools in Alabama. In fact, we took Alabama history in 8th grade and then again in 10th and used the same book based on Alabama's motto "We dare defend our rights". 

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kesmom

I don’t say this lightly, but I kind of wish that a nearby family member could take the youngest two in for a while. Get more of their basic needs met and give the older kids a parenting break. 
 

 

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