Blatant disregard for Lyndsie’s son Ethan?

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

I follow both Daniel Brooker (his late wife was Lyndsie of ‘a love worth waiting for’ blog and his second wife Brittany Price Brooker. 

I am astounded at how obvious it is that they barely tolerate Daniel’s son Ethan (who was adopted at 1 & has ADHD/ADD). For his birthday they both wrote a one short sentence post

And a few weeks later for Brittany’s own son’s birthday both parents wrote multiple paragraphs about how much they loved and adored him

 

Edited October 7, 2019 by laPapessaGiovanna

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

I am probably more sensitive to this as my father had a very clear favourite (hint: not me!) & it is very destructive in families  especially when one child is so much less cherished than all the others  

 

[Terrie]

My nephew has ADHD. Bad enough he's on medication at 5. And while we worry about what it could mean for his future, we love and adore that kid. He's sweet, sensitive, funny... Hopefully Ethan just isn't a touching kid, because I can't help but notice the physical distance present in one set of photos that's not in the other set....

[gustava]

We all knew from the get-go that this adoption would not end well.

[Sonic the Whoredgehog]

To give them the benefit of the doubt, which they probably don't deserve, the older boy is 9 and possibly at an age where he wants more privacy from his parents online life, going by "the rest of it, you already know" from his adoptive father. But I don't doubt that the wife has a preference, and it's for her children by birth. "This boy has been my buddy since he was born" is so telling and seems wildly inappropriate for a blended family. 

I also don't like the dad's bit about "middle by age but actually the first born". Why the fuck would you adopt if you give a shit about that? While we're at it, referring to a seven-year-old as "leader", "protector", and "defender" is the male version of describing small girls as "servant's heart", "helper", or "good with babies". These people really do care more about their children's genitals than their hearts. 

 

[Howl]

I'm confused.  Is this family blended with kids from previous marriages as well as adoptees?  And yes, I'm getting a not-good vibe about child preferences and setting up at least one son as a god-like mini-me leader at a very tender age. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Omg I’m so glad you posted this! I honestly thought I was being overly sensitive when I noticed the birthday messages being completely different from the others! It breaks my fucking heart. That poor boy. 

[PennySycamore]

46 minutes ago, Sonic the Whoredgehog said:

I also don't like the dad's bit about "middle by age but actually the first born". Why the fuck would you adopt if you give a shit about that? While we're at it, referring to a seven-year-old as "leader", "protector", and "defender" is the male version of describing small girls as "servant's heart", "helper", or "good with babies". These people really do care more about their children's genitals than their hearts. 

 

My husband's sister and her husband adopted a baby about 28 years ago after some years of battling infertility.  They didn't stop infertility treatments after they'd adopted this wonderful little boy   though.  Eventually they succeeded in having a little girl.   Well, you'd have thought this little girl had hung the moon!  She could do no wrong and her big brother could do no right. at least according to his dad.  No wonder this kid got messed up with drugs and the last I heard was homeless in LA.  My husband has reached out to our nephew.  I don't know whether he's heard anything or not.   

My daughter and her husband adopted two beautiful, smart, and funny little girls from China.  They have absolutely no desire to have any children born to them and what happened with my nephew is part of the reason why.  

The kind of attitude that the Brookers have toward their children is not good for either boy.  

[Melissa1977]

32 minutes ago, Howl said:

I'm confused.  Is this family blended with kids from previous marriages as well as adoptees?  And yes, I'm getting a not-good vibe about child preferences and setting up at least one son as a god-like mini-me leader at a very tender age. 

The husband was married to a woman who died at very young age due to cancer. They adopted a boy and a girl, but it is a long sad story. They were going to adopt a girl, and had like 1000 outfits with her name, but something happened and the adoption didn't occur. Maybe the bio mother chase another parents or kept the baby, I don't remember. Then, Lyndsie was desperate and adopted the boy, but she badly preferred a girl and when she adopted one, she was the favourite.

I didn't know the widowed husband had married again.

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

The husband was married to a woman who died at very young age due to cancer. They adopted a boy and a girl, but it is a long sad story. They were going to adopt a girl, and had like 1000 outfits with her name, but something happened and the adoption didn't occur. Maybe the bio mother chase another parents or kept the baby, I don't remember. Then, Lyndsie was desperate and adopted the boy, but she badly preferred a girl and when she adopted one, she was the favourite.

I didn't know the widowed husband had married again.

Yes, and Brittany obviously dotes on the only girl in the family. She had three boys by her dead husband. You can tell she always wanted a girl. And she got one when she married Daniel. Aubrey does not have special needs and seems to go along with Brittany treating her like the very special only girl in the family.

[nausicaa]

19 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

My husband's sister and her husband adopted a baby about 28 years ago after some years of battling infertility.  They didn't stop infertility treatments after they'd adopted this wonderful little boy   though.  Eventually they succeeded in having a little girl.   Well, you'd have thought this little girl had hung the moon!  She could do no wrong and her big brother could do no right. at least according to his dad.  No wonder this kid got messed up with drugs and the last I heard was homeless in LA.  My husband has reached out to our nephew.  I don't know whether he's heard anything or not.  

My brother once dated a girl whose father was an adopted only child. The man's parents divorced and his dad remarried and had a child with a much younger wife when his adopted son was a late teen. The father basically cut off all contact with his son who he had raised from infancy. The girlfriend's dad (adopted son) was not an addict and seemed a pleasant, functioning person so it wasn't a case of needing to cut him out for self-preservation reasons. 

I don't understand how people can just shift their feelings this way. If I found out one of my nephews wasn't biologically my brother's, it wouldn't change my feelings for them at all. I'd only be worried it would limit my ability to spend time with them. 

[Mudgie]

She strikes me as overwhelmed by the blended family. He appears to be handling it slightly better. I wonder if they'll have a child together. 

I had a friend whose cousin adopted a child. He and his wife had 2 biological children and 1 adopted. I vividly remember attending a birthday party for my friend's son and the Grandfather of all of the kids saw the adopted child doing something rowdy with balloons. Like every other child at the party, including my own. He said something along the lines of how the child wasn't really the brother of the bio kids and how he was just going to cause problems for the family. I remember my friend's cousin trying so hard to keep it together and trying to essentially tell his Grandfather to fuck off without causing a scene. It was awful. 

I later learned from my friend that his Uncle, cousin and several other members of the family were essentially cutting Grandpa out of their lives until he behaved differently towards the child and kept his mouth shut. The family stood united which was pretty cool actually. Not sure if he ever changed his ugly attitude. Regardless the boy is a delightful young man now and has a very healthy relationship with his family.

People can be such assholes. 

edited to fix typo

Edited October 7, 2019 by Mudgie

[JermajestyDuggar]

I wish I could remember exactly what was posted, but I believe Brittany has said they won’t be adding to their family anytime soon. Brittany is extremely open about how hard their lives are as a blended family and I think they both try. But their favoritism is so obvious that they need to do better. 

[kesmom]

23 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I wish I could remember exactly what was posted, but I believe Brittany has said they won’t be adding to their family anytime soon. Brittany is extremely open about how hard their lives are as a blended family and I think they both try. But their favoritism is so obvious that they need to do better. 

I agree that they don’t sugar coat the problems, but I wish someone close to them would point out the favoritism. 

[Palimpsest]

1 hour ago, Melissa1977 said:

The husband was married to a woman who died at very young age due to cancer. They adopted a boy and a girl, but it is a long sad story. They were going to adopt a girl, and had like 1000 outfits with her name, but something happened and the adoption didn't occur. Maybe the bio mother chase another parents or kept the baby, I don't remember. Then, Lyndsie was desperate and adopted the boy, but she badly preferred a girl and when she adopted one, she was the favourite.

I didn't know the widowed husband had married again.

Aubrey Ann 1 and Aubrey Ann 2.  A whole storeload of pink presents at Lyndsie's shower for Aubrey Ann 1 and it fell through.  

Aubrey Ann 1's bio mother (or someone claiming to be her) visited us back on yuku under the name "Sunny."  She seemed very credible and, IIRC, she didn't say anything negative about Daniel and Lyndsie at all.  She did say that she had chosen another couple to adopt her child.  

It wasn't because of Lyndsie's cancer, or the fact the Brookers pretty much assuming that the unborn baby was their's already.  It was because she didn't quite believe their positive responses when she said she wanted an open adoption.  The other couple seemed more accepting of that.  Her choice.

8 minutes ago, kesmom said:

I agree that they don’t sugar coat the problems, but I wish someone close to them would point out the favoritism. 

Soon, if not yesterday.  Poor little Ethan.

[Howl]

1 hour ago, Palimpsest said:

Soon, if not yesterday.  Poor little Ethan.

This, yes.  And as to the miracle child,  

Quote

He is a natural born leader and I love watching God grow him, in Aubrey’s words “you are the best brother” when anyone needs help or to borrow something he is the man for the job, he stands up for justice, loves Jesus and His Word, has insight and wisdom beyond his years, loves giving, loves quality time, playing outside with his siblings and coming up with creative ideas and inventions

Call me a mean and horrible cynic, but isn't 7 years old a little young for hagiography?  

[Hane]

@Palimpsest, the first little girl was Aubrey Ann, who was given a baby shower complete with gifts such as a shocking pink personalized Bible when she was a 7-month fetus and nowhere near eligible for adoption.

The baby girl they adopted after Ethan was named Aubrey Fay.

[MamaJunebug]

I’m sorry, could someone produce this as an audio file? I’m blinded by all those big white TEEFS!

[Palimpsest]

24 minutes ago, Hane said:

@Palimpsest, the first little girl was Aubrey Ann, who was given a baby shower complete with gifts such as a shocking pink personalized Bible when she was a 7-month fetus and nowhere near eligible for adoption.

The baby girl they adopted after Ethan was named Aubrey Fay.

Thanks for the correction.  I'm glad Aubrey 2 was given a different middle name.

The Lyndsie story is tragic, but I'm afraid the words that come to mind now we are revisiting it are still: entitlement, denial, irresponsibility, and such shallow and tacky people.

I always felt for the biomom(s) because Lyndsie and Daniel were adopting these children when they knew full well that she was not cancer-free.  It was never clear whether they were completely honest with the biomom(s) about that.

As @gustava said, we knew from the beginning these adoptions would not end well.  But I did have hope when Daniel remarried things would get better for the children.  That is why it is upsetting to see clear favoritism from Daniel and Brittany for her sons over Ethan.  Poor little boy.

[Hane]

@Palimpsest, it’s apparent Daniel has a “type”: tons of makeup, big fake smile, and wall-to-wall Jesus ^TM[/sup]

 ^language. 

^{I was saddened by Brittany’s insta post about Aubrey feeling bad because “people made fun of her for looking different.” Different=brown hair instead of blond.} 

Edited October 7, 2019 by Hane
Trying to do coding for suprascript and failing miserably

[Terrie]

@Hane I was just thinking the same thing. I'm fine with people wearing makeup but there's a point where it enter the Uncanny Valley.

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, Hane said:

@Palimpsest, it’s apparent Daniel has a “type”: tons of makeup, big fake smile, and wall-to-wall Jesus ^TM[/sup]

 ^language. 

^{I was saddened by Brittany’s insta post about Aubrey feeling bad because “people made fun of her for looking different.” Different=brown hair instead of blond.} 

I kind of thought all the kids look alike. If I saw them in public and didn’t know their story, I would assume they were all bio siblings. Yes, she has brown hair but I think she looks like Brittany. And Ethan looks like her bio boys. At least Aubrey is favored because she’s the girl of the family. Ethan is just one of four boys, was adopted, and has special needs. I feel really bad for him. 

[feministxtian]

See, adopted and special needs would end up being my favorite. IF I ever get out of this goddamn apartment, into the house that I want so bad, I'm going to see about getting licensed as a foster parent. If all comes to fruition, I won't have to worry about money at all and could devote time to the kids...just don't know how the county feels about "older" and "widowed" foster parents. I'd prefer older kids though, not sure I really want to try to deal with toddlers

[ophelia]

I hadn't noticed the favoritism until it was mentioned here and now I'm deeply saddened by it. Poor Ethan! He has been through a lot already and I hope he somehow gets the love and support he needs.

When Daniel and Brittany first got married I was really scared that she would become pregnant ASAP to somehow "seal the deal". I'm glad that they are taking their time. There is probably still a lot of healing that needs to be done and I hope that everybody, also the parents who lost beloved spouses, get help and support.

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, ophelia said:

I hadn't noticed the favoritism until it was mentioned here and now I'm deeply saddened by it. Poor Ethan! He has been through a lot already and I hope he somehow gets the love and support he needs.

When Daniel and Brittany first got married I was really scared that she would become pregnant ASAP to somehow "seal the deal". I'm glad that they are taking their time. There is probably still a lot of healing that needs to be done and I hope that everybody, also the parents who lost beloved spouses, get help and support.

Brittany is not even close to healing from her first husband’s death. That still seems an open wound to me. Which makes things so much harder with the kids. I get the feeling that Daniel is the very sturdy rock in their relationship. I hope that eventually they can find their stride but it’s definitely something that takes years. At least they know that. They don’t seem like they expect it to happen overnight.